Peril of the Week – No Spring Fling, Just a VISA Please
Apr 30th
A new online dater shared one of her recent stories about a hot date in the big city. She and her handsome date decide to meet at an ultra-hip sushi restaurant in the heart of Chelsea.
When her date walked into the trendy hotspot, she noticed something a little odd about him. He simply appeared too pretty, too well groomed, and too well dressed. Unlike her past boyfriends, who were handsome and defined the term “metro-sexual”, there was nothing about this date that didn’t appear manly.
Within the first twenty minutes of their date, as they exchanged small-talk, he set down his lychee martini and bluntly said, “Look, I’m actually gay and I’m searching for an American girl to marry. I’ll get my green card, you’ll get whatever you want.”
Looking back she wished there had been a video camera to capture the look on her face. She was confused, disheartened, and dying to laugh all at once. After telling him that she was definitely not interested in a marriage for convenience, he remained a gentleman and they returned to small talk for the rest of dinner, mostly about fashion. It wasn’t a complete dating disaster, but it was a night to remember.
She decided the lychee martini that he ordered that was a red flag, warning her that this handsome date was really not her type.
For consideration in the Peril of the Week, send your online dating stories to CyberDatingExpert.com
Tyra Banks on Online Dating
Apr 29th
Tyra Banks featured a segment on her show about online dating, hook ups, and sexting.
She started The Tyra Show by stating that 60% of women say the Internet has changed their sex lives. She asked the audience to stand up if they had ever sex texted. Very few were willing to admit they had indulged in the habit. Tyra said she had an audience full of liars.
On the program Tyra said, “Personally I am not against online dating. There are a million steps you need to take before meeting that person, in person.”
Tyra doesn’t recommend meeting someone online if you are a teenager. “Please do not do that. It’s not safe,” she said. I have to agree. Most online dating sites require you to be 18 years or older to sign up.
Tyra’s panel consisted of four women in favor of sexting, and four who were vehemently against it for safety and self-esteem reasons.
One panelist said she likes to sex-text her boyfriend before he goes to sleep at night. Another panelist says it helps her relationship with her boyfriend while she is away at college.
I subscribe to the safety first theory. Just last week I was a guest on WPIX in New York with Tamsen Fadal and the subject was, cyber-dating safety. I provided some ways to date online, safely, which included:
- Don’t give out your last name
- Don’t give out your home address
- Don’t talk about money
- If you’re uncomfortable, leave
Keep in mind, your online communication often becomes public record and can be indexed by Google and the search engines. Think twice before pressing the send button, turning on your webcam, or uploading that risky video. If your relationship doesn’t end well, you don’t want your sexting history out there for the world to see.
Read my full article @Huffington Post
Julie Spira is known worldwide as the Cyber-Dating Expert. She is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show with eLove
Apr 29th
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert
Join Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira as she welcomes Paul Falzone, founder of eLove.com to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show.
Paul has been a matchmaker for over 30 years and eLove offers both the convenience of an online dating site and the personal services of a matchmaker. Learn the seven reasons that make eLove a chosen site for over 3 million singles.
Call in on Saturday, May 1, 2010 at 2pm/ET, 12pm/CT, 11am/PT at 646-929-0012 for dating advice and to learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.
La Cage Aux Folles with Kelsey Grammer
Apr 28th
Kelsey Grammer and Julie Spira
No trip would be complete to New York without a stop on Broadway. It was a last-minute treat where I was invited to go with my new social media friends to see La Cage Aux Folles starring Kelsey Grammer.
In pure social media style, I sent Kelsey a message via Twitter and he kindly responded that he was looking forward to seeing me and my friends after the show, and signed it “Cheers.”
La Cage Aux Folles, based on the book by Harvey Firestein, is playing at the Longacre Theatre. Grammer plays Georges and will eventually switch roles to play Albin, so I may have to come back again. I enjoyed the music as much as I did the first time, over twenty years ago.
The cast truly looked like they were having a great time on stage. After the performance, we spent some time with Grammer, who was a great sport as we took numerous photos of us with the former Cheers star. Now that I’m back in Los Angeles, I’ll send my regards to Broadway, until we meet again.
He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s a Good Thing)
Apr 27th
Today my friend and fellow dating and relationship author, Andrea Syrtash is celebrating. It’s the release date for her new book, He’s Just Not Your Type (and that’s a good thing): How to Find Love Where You Least Expect It
Last week, we were treated to a sneak peek of the book on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show, and it’s with great delight that I am adding this book to the Cyber-Dating Expert Reading Room as a recommended read.
Andrea’s dating and relationship advice comes from an authentic point of view. Her values are completely in line with what we talk about at Cyber-Dating Expert. She uses her own personal story of how her husband Michael, who was not her type. Now, she is happily married and discusses with great enthusiasm about the benefits of dating and mating with a man you originally thought was not your type.
Andrea calls these men the NTs. NTs come in a few flavors including:
- DNT – Departure Non-Type
- SNT – Superficial Non-Type
- CNT – Circumstantial Non-Type
She also has an appendix that includes online dating dos and don’ts.
For more information visit AndreaSyrtash.com
Click here to purchase a copy of the book>>>
Click here to listen to Andrea’s radio show segment>>>
Betty Confidential – Online Dating and Marriage
Apr 27th
Last week, Match.com celebrated their 15th anniversary with a research study showing that one out of six marriages were a result of couples meeting through an online dating site. While I was in New York, Carrie Seim interviewed me for her piece on the subject.
Her article, “The New Best Way to Meet Your Husband” came out this week on Betty Confidential. Non-believers are now flocking to online dating sites and it appears those who would have never thought about trying online dating are enjoying their bragging rights.
The New Best Way to Meet Your Husband
Survey says your best bet for finding Mr. Right is … online!
-Carrie Seim
Julie Spira, author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, ventured forth on 250 online dates, earning several marriage proposals – and a husband – in the process. She says she’s not at all surprised by the Match marriage results:
“Not a day goes by that I don’t hear a story about someone who has met his or her spouse online,” she says. “Hoping that you might meet someone while out at a club or social event could have a high price tag and you most likely will come home empty-handed. There comes a time in your life when your friends aren’t fixing you up anymore. Online dating has become an efficient way for busy singles to meet their spouses – it’s truly a numbers game.”
Click here for full article on Betty Confidential>>>
The Power of the Facebook Relationship Status Change
Apr 26th
Just how powerful is the relationship status change on Facebook? Read this story from “Facebook Leftover” and feel free to share your own.
Dear Julie,
My ex-boyfriend and I are both on Facebook. While we were still together we became friends on Facebook. After our break up, we decided together that we would remain friends. We both removed our status on Facebook from “In a Relationship” to no status at all, hoping people wouldn’t make a fuss about it.
The problem is, I can’t help but look at his status updates. I still have strong feelings for him. If I de-friend him, I might hurt his feelings and may never have the chance to get back together with him.
Now, I’m the one who is feeling hurt. He recently changed his status to “In a Relationship” and I know it’s not with me. He’s moved on and is dating someone else and I haven’t. Why does this hurt so much? What should I do?
Facebook Leftover
Dear Facebook Leftover,
There is nothing more powerful on Facebook than the relationship status change. Friends worldwide are obsessed when you change your status from “Single” to “In a Relationship” and then back to “Single. Most people don’t really want to know why “It’s Complicated” but they like to provide their comments regardless.
Friends who never comment suddenly want to know who you are in a relationship with when you change your status from “single” to “In a Relationship.” Even if you change from “Single” to eliminating your relationship status entirely, some question whether you have done so because you have met someone.
To get over your former facebook beau, here’s my advice: you MUST de-friend him. You can’t obsess over what is happening with him and his new sweetheart. If he is interested in getting back together with you, he knows how to find you. Every day that you hang on to the memories of your past and look at his life, you are wasting your precious youth.
Sound harsh? I’m sorry, but de-friend him now. Don’t stare at his wall and start thinking about your future. Let’s start with putting your relationship status back on facebook and list yourself as “Single.” Yes, you open yourself up to questions of “What happened?” and “So sorry it didn’t work out” comments, but you also allow the world to know that you are single. Perhaps a secret crush may see you as single on facebook and contact you. This is exactly how one of our Cyber Love Story of the Week featured couples met in real life.
Other friends of yours may now think about fixing you up when they hear about a great single guy in town. I suggest you go from single without status, to announcing to the world that you are happy and available. It’s a free way to let your true friends lend a hand in your matchmaking activities and get over the guy who apparently has gotten over you.
Keep me posted and best of luck.
Julie Spira
Cyber-Dating Expert
If you have a question to ask for Julie Spira, please send an email to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact
Andrea Syrtash on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show
Apr 24th
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert
If you missed hearing relationship author Andrea Syrtash at the 140 Characters Conference this week in New York, now’s your chance to listen to her first radio interview about her new book, He’s Just Not Your Type (and that’s a good thing): How to Find Love Where You Least Expect It
You will hear what it means to shift your attitude from ignoring those who you believe aren’t your type with a full discussion on NT’s (non-types).
Hear Andrea’s online dating dos and don’ts about creating a successful online dating profile and how to live a more authentic life filled with joy.
Listen now to learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.
Social Dating Site Zoosk launches ZooskTV [Video]
Apr 23rd
Writing about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World is a passion of mine. Giving hope to singles with an email address that they can successful find love online has become my mission and calling. Experiencing the real time web through social networking, mobile apps, facebook apps, and reconnecting with high school sweethearts and long lost friends while meeting new ones IRL has changed the world we live in, mostly for the good.
When my friends at Zoosk asked me to be their first dating expert to be featured in ZooskTV’s new interview series, I was more than flattered. The Zoosk team came to my home, and I had the opportunity to meet my virtual friends and talk about one of my favorite subjects, how to use the real time web to find love and friendship online.
ZOOSK now has over 1 million fans on their Facebook Page and their social dating app is used by over 50 million people around the world.
View the video for dating and relationship advice and some personal thoughts of my own. Comments are always welcome. Thank you Zoosk for helping me spread my message to your vast universe of members.
ZooskTV Interviews Online Dating Expert Julie Spira
Visit the Zoosk blog for more>>>
Cyber Love Story of the Week – Megan and Jesse
Apr 23rd
Megan and Jesse were both hoping to find love, but were skeptical that they would ever find it on the Internet.
Megan had tried several online dating sites and was about to give up until she found out that her neighbor had met a great guy on Yahoo! Personals. After a few months of dating, she received an email from Jesse who she thought was so darling. Megan told herself, “This will be the very last date that I will ever go on.”
After several email exchanges, Jesse called Megan to set up an official date. The two met at the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. She was so nervous and had butterflies in her stomach. For Megan, she had met her prince charming and their first date ended with a steamy good night kiss.
Almost two years later, after asking her parents for permission to marry her, Jesse proposed to Megan. At the end of a home cooked meal as Megan scrubbed the cake pan used for the meatloaf, she cursed it and said it was so dirty that she was just going to throw it away and buy a new one. This was Jesse’s cue to end her anxiety. He pulled the engagement ring out his pocket and replied with, “I have a better idea — let’s register for a new one,” as he got on one knee and the rest is history.
The two will be getting married in September.
Congratulations to Megan and Jesse who didn’t give up on online dating until they met “the one.”
For consideration in the Cyber Love Story of the Week, send your online dating stories to CyberDatingExpert.com
