10 Best Cities to Find Love Online

Our friends at OkCupid looked at over 1 million active users on their free online dating site to see where the most active singles resided in the past year.

In an article on Forbes.com, Sam Yagan, OkCupid’s CEO and a friend of CyberDatingExpert.com talked about the specifics of each city. Whether they are filled with tech-savvy singles or college students who chose to reside in their college town, overall the popularity of online dating continues to rise.

As more singles are busy signing onto Facebook on a daily basis, they are expanding their personal search onto Internet dating sites in record numbers.

If you’re lucky to live in one of these top 10 cities, it’s time to log on more often and revise your online dating profile. If not, I suggest you cast a wider net and look outside your geographical area if you are serious about finding love online.

OkCupid’s Top 10 Cities to Find Love Online

1. Boston, MA

2. Washington, DC

3. San Francisco, CA

4. Seattle, WA

5. Atlanta, GA

6. Portland, OR

7. Philadelphia, PA

8. Los Angeles, CA

9. Dallas, TX

10. Detroit, MI

Dating Without Drama on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert

If it’s time to leave the drama behind, you’ll want to listen to our radio show featuring Paige Parker and Dating Without Drama. Learn how to move your relationship status from single and skeptical to confident and committed.

Find out about more about Facebook Without Drama including should you friend your new beau on Facebook and the dos and don’ts of text messaging your date.

You’ll hear about the red flags and deal breakers for online daters and Paige will share her personal story on how she became a very happily married woman by changing her personal strategies.

Listen to hear dating advice from myself as well as Paige on this special edition of Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show.

Weekly Flirt – Dating Advice and Your Online Dating Stories

Click here and let the flirting begin>>>

Peril of the Week – No Photo, No Class

The online dating profile of a sophisticated woman simply stated, contact me if my profile piques your curiosity. The response rate was high from men curious to know more about this mysterious woman who was a bestselling author. On the list of her favorite items was the name of a well-respected magazine, Vanity Fair,  which she reads  from cover-to-cover every month to enrich her life.

Sharing hobbies and interests is an important part of your online dating profile. Favorite movies, books, travel spots, they all give an indication of what you like to do in your spare time.

You can’t imagine how stunned she was one day when she received an email from a man without a profile photo. This man decided to make it a point to insult a woman he never met.

His email simply stated  the following:

Photo: None

Subject matter:  He typed the word, “None.”

A bit confused by the introduction, the body of the email was quite insulting. It simply stated:

“Your intelligence can be determined by what you read, and it certainly can be stimulated by penetrating reading.”

“Vanity Fair is definitely not an example of profound literature, but it’s the only reading that apparently you’ve done recently and that you’re proud to share with others. I can’t imagine that your book has any depth if what you’ve been feeding your brain is essentially tabloid trivia.”

On a personal note, the woman who was the recipient of this email was none other than myself. One has to ask, what is the purpose of deliberately insulting someone they have never met? And why hide behind a profile without a photo? My mother always said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” My mother’s dating advice is smart. She’s a wise woman.

Do you have an online dating story to share? For consideration in the Peril of the Week, please send us your stories.

Click here for more Peril of the Week Stories>>>

Cyber Dating Tip – Going from Online to Offline

This week’s Cyber Dating tip for successful online dating is quite simply, take your relationship from online to offline as soon as possible.

How soon you may ask? After sending a few emails, it’s best to move the relationship to the telephone. Find out if you have that same offline chemistry and you have online. Too often, I see singles falling in love from behind their computer screens. Sometimes, it’s with someone they believe is single and is available for a relationship, when in fact the complete opposite can be true. If during your phone conversation, you don’t feel comfortable, don’t feel obligated to set up a date on the calendar.

For more cyberdating tips and dating advice, Visit CyberDatingExpert.com

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show with Paige Parker

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert

Join Cyber Dating Expert Julie Spira at a very special time and date on Friday, August 27, 2010 at 3pm with Paige Parker, author of Dating Without Drama on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show.

You’ll hear Paige’s dating advice on how a woman can successfully attract a man, leave the drama behind, and become more confident while looking for love online.

You won’t want to miss this end of summer special program.

Call in at 646-929-0012 at 2pm/ET, 12noon/CT, 11am/PT to learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.

Listen to internet radio with Cyber-dating Expert on Blog Talk Radio

Why You Need an Irresistible Online Dating Profile

I’m often out during the evenings speaking to singles looking for love online. As a dating expert, I’m asked to look at existing profiles from those frustrated with the process of cyberdating. I see photos with arms hanging over shoulders, essays as long as a novel, and sometimes find an entire flickr or picasa album posted. I meet successful men and beautiful women who just aren’t getting the results they want.  If your profile looks like this, chances are you aren’t meeting the man or woman of your dreams. Before you cancel your membership, look at some of my top tips that you can do on your own to tweak your profile. These 5 simple tips will help you stand out in the crowded playing field of Internet dating.

1. Catchy Screen Name and headline. Get creative. Show your flirty side. Make it more than the number that the online dating site creates for you. Include your hobby, favorite travel spot, or passion.

2. Profile Photos worth being on the front page of a newspaper. You’d be surprised at the amount of blurry photos, photos with multiple people in them, or one’s that don’t have you looking your best. Smile in your photos. Smile on the phone. Don’t forget to smile on that first date as well. Both men and women are visual. Look your best. Wear your favorite color.

3. Word Count. Sometimes less is more. Writing eight paragraphs in your essay is too overwhelming. I recommend refining your word count to 150-200 words. Leave something to talk about on your first date and leave the novel out of your profile

4. Avoid Cliché’s. Looking for soul mate may be a given, but it won’t grab his or her attention. Be a little quirky and someone will want to know more about your fun personality.

5. Be Specific. If you are interested in marriage, don’t be afraid to check off that box. If religion is important to you, make note of that. Don’t say what you don’t want, but make sure that you say what you do like about being in a relationship.

If after revising your profile on your own, you still aren’t achieving the results that you need, it’s time to visit a dating coach and get an outside opinion. Contact us at CyberDatingExpert.com and we’ll help you create an Irresistible online dating profile.

Irresistible Profiles – Going Steady Plan

Irresistible Profiles – Totally in Love Plan

Signs You May be Dating a Cyber Player

You’ve signed up for an online dating site. Your inbox is full of interested singles trying to capture your attention. You put yourself out there and opened up your heart. How can you tell if he’s sincere or if he or she is a cyber player or serial dater?

In a recent article on Sympatico.ca Personals, I shared some of my insights, online dating tips,  and red flags with Jenna Stone.

They’re the scourge of the dating scene, the stealth enemy of anyone seeking a long-term, committed relationship – The Players.

There you are, putting yourself out there, hoping to find someone with whom to spend your life, and there he/she is messing it all up. They make the apparent right gestures and tell you what you want to hear, all the while working the same schtick on someone else, or several someone elses.

And they’re not just lurking in the bars and clubs either. They’re online, sneaking around your favourite dating sites. How can you avoid…(insert dramatic B Movie monster music here)…THE CYBER PLAYER?

Julie Spira is a cyber dating expert, and author of the online book The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. She offered some insight on how to keep the cyber serial dater at bay.

She says, “There are certainly a lot of them online. They become these little kids in a candy store because they can always find a pretty face. And they get five new e-mails in their inbox every day.” Spira is quick to point out that, while many people DO indeed commit, the web has “really created a feeding ground for people who can’t.”

Spira says there are two categories of online players. The first are people who are also offline players and it’s how they live their lives. “They see online dating as an extra way to feed their egos.”  The other type, she says, are those who were shy and unlucky in love, but then tried online dating and “all of the sudden they go from being socially challenged to suddenly having all of these options.”

Sometimes, she adds, they don’t even meet anyone in person. “They just talk and chat. They get sort of addicted to it.”

So, that’s red flag #1. They keep putting off meeting you in real life. Seems obvious right? But a lot of people can’t read the clearest signs and wind up wasting a lot of time.
If someone won’t eventually come play outside, they might not be socially capable. They might even be hiding behind an entirely constructed persona.

Once you do meet them outside, Spira says that, oddly, they tend to come on strong and talk a lot about commitment. “When you go on a date with a cyber player, they will say things that are the complete opposite from what you’d expect. They say things like ‘I was married before and I want to be married again,’ ‘I’m looking for one woman to wake up with every morning.’ They say these types of things a little too much and you might find yourself raising an eyebrow.”

But then, right after they leave you, they’re back cruising the cyber singles scene.
“They go home and send you an e-mail that says ‘I had such an amazing date with you, there was so much chemistry. I can’t wait to see you again,’ and you see that they’ve already logged on at 12:30 in the morning after your date ended at eleven o’clock that night.” (Most dating sites allow you to see when a member is online)

Of course, it’s OK to spend as much time as you please cruising when you’re just dating. It’s when things are supposed to be getting serious that these become red flags.
Spira advises you err on the side of caution, keep your own profile up and continue to date other people. And, if you’re looking for a serious relationship, “Do not sleep with someone who is unwilling to pull down their profile.

“If you’re on a casual dating site and are advertising that you’re accepting that type of relationship, that’s one thing. But if you go on a site dedicated to serious relationships, like e-Harmony or JDate or Match.com, and you state on the profile that you are looking for a long term relationship and marriage, that’s another.”

It’s a common question: When is the appropriate time to take down the profile? There’s no right answer. But you need to be comfortable. If you’re uncomfortable with the other person’s profile remaining up, then it’s not unreasonable to address that.

Spira says, “I’ve seen it too many times where a woman says ‘I’ve been dating this guy for a year and he won’t pull down his profile.’ I say, ‘Well, you never really talked about that before your clothes wound up on the floor.”

The bottom line? Talk about it.

Once offline, if you find yourself falling for a player and want to try to get them to tame their wild ways, Spira suggests a few things that include,
1: Keeping busy. Don’t always be readily available and live a life that’s exciting and fun, and will continue to be so with or without them in it.
2. Setting a time limit. Make it clear you’ll only wait around for so long.
3. Giving instructions on how you want to communicate. If you want daily phone calls and flirty text messages, Spira says don’t be afraid to ask for them.

A lot of people do find themselves trying to catch the player, convinced they can make them change. It’s one option.

Remember, there’s always another option. You could just move on to someone else.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com for Dating Advice

Cyber Love Song of the Week – I Just Haven’t Met You Yet

Michael Buble’s song, I Just Haven’t Met You Yet is our latest pick for the Cyber Love Song of the Week. Buble will be performing at the Grand Opening of Nordstroms at Santa Monica Place in Santa Monica, CA on August 25, 2010. You can’t help but feel positive about meeting the one when listening to this song from heart throb, Buble.

Click here to view video>>>

The Scent of a Woman and a Man – DNA Matchmaking

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert

Today on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show, I spoke with Eric Holzle, Founder of Scientific Match, an online dating site that claims to be one of the most advanced dating services in the world.

You’ll hear about genetic matchmaking will help you find someone you are the most compatible with.

A simple cheek swab of saliva may help you find your dream man or woman.

Eric talked about the 6 benefits of genetic matchmaking from having a greater sex life to a lower chance of cheating in an exclusive relationship.

Listen to the program to hear about the latest research and how you can find your best match with the most chemistry.

Learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.

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