Peril of the Week – Must Love Bears

Contributed by Nancy Brook

After breaking up with my latest boyfriend four years ago, I decided the best way to stop moping about him was to start dating new men. Internet dating provided the perfect opportunity to start finding someone new.

I had dated online before, and I always had plenty of winks and emails. The problem was I didn’t want to date many of these men. I longed for the whole package—someone near my age, smart, accomplished, handsome, athletic and fun.

When I met Dirk, he seemed perfect. He was cute, smart, funny, easy to talk to and very interested in me. The night before I met Dirk, I had a date with a handsome chiropractor, but I couldn’t keep my attention on him. (Maybe it was the dark glasses he wore throughout our dinner.)

I cut the evening short with the doctor and rose at the crack of dawn the next day to meet Dirk at West Yellowstone, which was a four-hour drive for me. We talked on our cell phones the whole way over. I couldn’t wait to meet him in person! But when I saw him, I was very surprised. He was short, barrel-chested, thick-necked and much less attractive than he appeared on his online photo.  I tried to get over the shallow stuff as I did like him on the phone.

“Hi!” he said enthusiastically, and gave me a big hug with his stubby arms. I smiled and hugged him back. We stopped by the grocery store for a picnic lunch of sandwiches and wine and then drove into the park where we ate by a creek, lying on a picnic blanket. After our lunch, he reached over and kissed me.

It was the most horrible kiss I could have imagined. It was a kiss that didn’t end – kind of like a vacuum hose sucking my lips. I wanted to run as far away from Dirk as possible, but I knew that would hurt his feelings. Besides, if I took off, I’d have to run miles since Dirk had driven us into the park and my car was back at the grocery store. Instead, I suggested we see the sites around Yellowstone.

Dirk talked about our future. I could move in with him and help him with his bear hunting business. (Never mind that I despise sport hunting.) There was no need for me to work. He made enough money for both of us. I heard pop Christian music playing in the background as a big grin spread across his face as he fanaticized about our life together.

“I’m ready to go back,” I said.

“Already?” he said.

“Yeah – it’s going to be a long drive back to Billings, and I want to get started.”

A scowl creased his forehead, his mouth turned down around the corner and he didn’t say a word. I stayed on my side of the truck, avoiding any additional contact with him.

When we arrived back at West Yellowstone, I wanted to leap out of his truck and spring to my car. I kept my cool. I opened the door, grabbed my camera bag and smiled at Dirk.

“It was nice to meet you,” I said.

“I get the feeling that I’m never going to see you again,” he said.

“Well, one never knows what the future has in store,” I answered.

I gave him a quick hug and power walked to my vehicle. I got into the car, started it and peeled out, waving as I left. I was free at last.

Lesson learned: It’s better to mope at home about an old boyfriend than be trapped in a pickup with a new crazy bear man.

The Peril of the Week was contributed by Nancy Brook, author of the upcoming book,  Cycling, Wine, and Men: A Midlife Tour de France.

From the Cyber-Dating Expert: It’s not a good idea to go anywhere with a man in his car or truck on a first date. It’s a recipe for a dating disaster.

Let us know if you have a story to contribute for our Peril of the Week.

Read More Peril of the Week Stories

Cheekd Flirt Cards on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Show

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert

Join Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira as she welcomes Lori Cheek, founder of Cheek’d to the season finale of Ask the Cyberdating Expert Radio Show on Saturday, December 11, 2010.

Cheek’d modern day flirt cards give you the opportunity to slip a card to that handsome hunk that you just might be too shy to approach and give your actual phone number.

Call in at 646-929-0012 at 2pm/ET, 11am/ PT to find out about the flirtiest cards in the deck and to learn more about dating, love, and romance in a Web 2.0 World.

Listen to internet radio with Cyberdating Expert on Blog Talk Radio

Reese Witherspoon on Dating Etiquette

We all know that we need to be on our best behavior while on a date, especially the very first ones. In other words, mind your manners, don’t be upset if they don’t look exactly like their online dating profile photos, and don’t criticize or correct  your date.

People Magazine, quotes Reese Witherspoon as she shared dating faux paus when her blind date corrected her on her grammar. At a press conference for her upcoming filme release, How Do You Know, Witherspoon told the crowd, “I had someone correct my grammar on a blind date once, and I knew within the first 10 minutes that the date was over.”

What was the worst thing a guy has said to you on a date? Share your stories and we’ll be posting our Top 10 list.

Photo Credit: TopNews.in

Holiday Dating – Everything you Need to Know

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert

Listen to the holiday edition of Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio show with dating experts Julie Spira and DeAnna Lorriane.

Julie and DeAnna talked about everything you need to know to find love during the holidays.

Holiday Parties: We suggested you have at least 2-3 dates before extending the invite. Cast a wide net and accept every invitation.

Holiday Gift Giving: Keep it simple. Don’t overwhelm someone you haven’t known for very long with an expensive piece of jewelry. A card, candy or flowers will make a nice impression.

Hanukkah Dating: Julie discussed her 8 Fun and Flirty Ways to Celebrate Hanukkah, including going on 8 dates a week, guilt them with gelt, the chocolate candy which is known to be an aphrodisiac, and nibbling on hot red latkes (potato pancakes).

Be Safe, Both Online and Offline: Make sure you meet your date in a public place, let a friend or buddy know where you are going, and don’t give out financial information

Be Organized: Don’t confuse Jenny with Jill or Richard with Ron. Both Julie and DeAnna recommend using an excel spreadsheet to keep your dates straight and watch your progress.

Remember, first impressions do matter. Listen to the show for all of our best dating advice for the holiday season. Make sure you have a terrific online dating profile and treat your quest to find love online no less than your search for your dream job.

Cyber Love Story of the Week – Sarah and Nathan

After looking at the MySpace pages of friends of friends of friends, Nathan somehow stumbled upon Sarah’s page. He found her profile banter funny and witty and sent her a message inviting her out for dinner. After viewing Nathan’s (ahem) “colorful” page, Sarah decided that it would be entertaining to spend an evening with an odd character.

They went to a perfectly normal dinner and chatted about perfectly boring things. Sarah was surprised that Nathan’s online demeanor did not translate into a host of quirky personality traits.

At the end of the meal, Sarah said that she’d like a piece of gum. She didn’t have any, though, and there wasn’t a convenience store around. Nathan, thinking quickly on his feet, popped into a retro toy store and proceeded to buy every pack of gum they had. The duo spent the remainder of the evening sitting outside, chewing piece after piece of odd-tasting gums of a different era. Sarah was won over.

Four years later—and still very much in love—the couple consider themselves not only domestic partners, but life partners, as well. It seems that the relationship has had even more sticking power than the gum. Congratulations to Sarah and Nathan, who prove that sometimes love will find you, even when you aren’t looking for it.

Do you have an online dating story to share?

Read More Cyber Love Stories>>>

Weekly Flirt – Dating Advice and Your Online Dating Stories

Click here and let the flirting begin>>>

Holiday Dating Advice on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show

Just in time for the holidays! Join Cyberdating Expert Julie Spira along with DeAnna Lorraine for a very special edition of Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show.

You’ll hear our best dating and relationship advice with tips for singles looking for love online during the holidays.

According to an article in the New York Post, singles would rather find a date as their number one choice during the holidays over a gift. From holiday gift giving, to last minute online dating profile tips, it’s time to ask us anything!

Call in at 646-929-0012 at 2pm/ET, 12 noon/PT or join in on the live interactive chat room at BlogTalkRadio.com/CyberDatingExpert and learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.

Listen to internet radio with Cyberdating Expert on Blog Talk Radio

Is Texting the New Calling for Scheduling Dates?

We’ve become so attached to our SmartPhones, but has text messaging actually replaced calling and hearing the human voice? According to a Zoosk Holiday poll of 1000 singles in the U.S., the answer is yes.

43%  say that text messaging indeed has become their preferred form of communication. 27% of Singles polled said they still prefer the more traditional phone call, while 14% of singles prefer to communicate via Facebook. Twitter got a thumbs down with 0% preferring to communicate in 140 characters or less.

As Zooskers looked ahead to 2011, the good news is that love will be very much in style. 77% of the singles polled said they had a good feeling they would meet that someone special in the coming year. Chances are they will meet while looking for love online.

What’s the sexiest gadget to catch up on your reading? I was pleased to see the answer was a traditionally published book. Over half of the singles polled preferred an actual book over the Kindle, iPad, Nook, or Sony Reader.

How sexy is your Smartphone? 34% of those polled said the iPhone still ranks as number one, but Android is close behind. Blackberry came in at number 3.

Visit social dating site Zoosk for complete results of their survey with the best and worst trends during 2010. As always we wish you lots of love and happiness this holiday season. If you need some handholding with your dating, we help singles create their Irresistible online dating profiles.

8 Ways To Have A Fun And Flirty Chanukah

Although the number 7 is typically associated with good luck, those celebrating the holiday of Chanukah get a bonus this month.

Chanukah, the 8-day celebration known as the Festival of Lights, starts at sundown on December 1st.

As a child, I have fond memories of lighting the menorah and opening one special gift every night with my family, while nibbling on traditional potato pancakes fried in oil.

You probably have heard over-and-over again that online dating is a numbers game. Perhaps you wonder, “When will it be my turn?” As singles looking for love online, you know that first impressions are everything. So without further adieu, I wish you all a very festive holiday season.

Here are eight ways to enjoy the holiday. So don’t be blue and let’s get started.

1.  Host a Chanukah Party. There’s no need to be alone at the holidays.  This year we get an early start. Why not host a Chanukah party? Ask each single guy to bring his BFF and have each gal bring her best single guy friend. Not in the mood to send out invites?  Check out the local Hanukkah singles parties online and RSVP.

• Added Bonus: You never know.  Someone just might need a guest for his or her holiday party scheduled later in the month.

2.  Guilt Them With Gelt. Love those gold-covered chocolate coins? Who wouldn’t?  Don’t fret that you won’t have a stocking filled with candy canes or coal when your gift bag includes the golden gelt.

• Added Bonus: Chocolate is an aphrodisiac.

3.   Spin the Dreidel. Remember when you played “Spin the Bottle” in high school? It’s time to play “Spin the Dreidel” instead. Replace the familiar Nun, Shin, Gimel and Hey with a more fun and a flirty gesture such as a kiss, hug, neck, or peck.

• Added Bonus: Everyone remembers his or her first kiss.

4. Light My Fire. Although it was one of my favorite songs by the band, The Doors, playing Light My Fire on Chanukah is a great way to get into a romantic mood with your date. Take turns lighting the candles. Who knows what the burning flames can turn into?

• Added Bonus: You may end up lighting his fire.

5.  Red Hot Latkes. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so grab your grandma’s favorite latke recipe and serve it with applesauce. Spice it up with cinnamon red hots, the color of love, and take turns spoon-feeding each other. Sound corny? Perhaps, but if you’re in a fun and flirty mood, one of you just might lean over to initiate that first kiss.

• Added Bonus: Red is the color of passion.

6.  Don’t Spoil the Oil. The tradition is told that the burning oil lasted for eight days instead of one. Grab your favorite massage oil, heat it slightly in the microwave, and give him a foot massage. He’ll wonder what’s in store for days 2-8.

• Added Bonus: Even if he doesn’t love you, his feet will.

7.  The Magic of 8. Time to ramp it up and write to eight people online that you’ve either previously flirted with or whose profiles have captured your eye. Take the time to say hello and wish them a Happy Chanukah with an e-card. You never know who will be happy to see your email in their “inbox.”

• Added Bonus: Everyone loves receiving holiday greeting cards and you have become proactive with your love life.

8. Eight Dates a Week. Don’t let the pressure of the holidays get you down. Commit to going on eight dates a week for the next four weeks in December. After all, online dating is a numbers game. You need to play to win. Think you met someone and had a great connection? After eight dates, happily retire your online dating profile and be open to the possibilities that they may be “the one.”

• Added Bonus: There’s a reason there is a Magic 8 Ball and the Beatles song made it to #1. Perhaps your time has come.

Julie Spira is a dating and relationship expert and the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com where you can sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt and the eBook, 5 Secrets to Finding Love Online. Like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert for more dating advice. Follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira

Reading Room – The Man Whisperer

The very first book that we featured in the Cyber-Dating Expert Reading Room was Never Trust a Man in Alligator Loafers by my friend and dating expert, Donna Sozio. Donna has just published her second book along with dating expert Samantha Brett called The Man Whisperer: A Gentle, Results-Oriented Approach to Communication.

From the moment Donna and Sam started writing this book, I was enthusiastic about it. Not only did I endorse the book, but it was an honor to receive one of the very first copies. I am so pleased to add it to the Cyber-Dating Expert Reading Room this month as our featured relationship book.

The Man Whisperer will help you learn a NEW communication technique that gets you ANYTHING YOU WANT, from ANY MAN!

Donna and Sam reveal all their tips, tricks and tactics to get any man want to please women in their new book The Man Whisperer . They teach women how to phrase their requests  - in a certain way – that makes men do whatever it takes to put a smile on your face… all the while making him think it was his brilliant idea!  Whether single, married, or somewhere in-between, Man Whispering can turn any guy into a well-tamed man!

And when you purchase your copy,  (about $10 at Amazon.com -33% off!) you’ll get all these fabulous bonuses from Donna & Sam’s dating expert friends:

• JULIE SPIRA:  The 5 Secrets to Finding Love Online (If you haven’t downloaded it yet, here’s your chance)

• LISA DAILY:  7 Reasons Men Love Women Over 40, PLUS:  2 FREE CHAPTERS OF How To Date Like a Grown-up and Fifteen Minutes of Shame (a novel)

• CHERRY NORRIS:  How to Meet Your Man, Get Him to Approach You in Less than 6 Seconds and Know if He’s Romantically Interested Within 15 Minutes.

It’s so EASY!

1.  Just CLICK HERE to purchase The Man Whisperer.

2.  Then email Donna & Sam at themanwhisperers@gmail.com with your Name & Amazon Receipt Number.  Within a day, you’ll get an email with all these amazing bonuses!  And of course, you’ll get the book that can make getting what you want from men easier than you ever imagined.

Here are some reviews so far:

“The techniques that Donna and Sam teach in this book will make relationships a lot easier.” –JULIE SPIRA, DATING EXPERT & BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF THE PERILS OF CYBER DATING:  CONFESSIONS OF A HOPEFUL ROMANTIC LOOKIN GFOR LOVE ONLINE.

“The Man Whisperer is the answer to all your relationship woes. And sex woes. And ‘Why the hell does he do that?’ woes.” –LISA DAILY, BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF STOP GETTING DUMPED!

“A MUST read for every woman who wants and deserves the relationship and life she always dreamed of… And good news, it isn’t rocket science thanks to the Man Whisperer!” – HOLLIE MCKAY, FOX NEWS.COM ENTERTAINMENT REPORTER/COLUMNIST

“If you want to be happy in your relationships, learn to Man Whisper!” —CHERRY NORRIS, WRITER, DIRECTOR, PRODUCER “DUTY DATING”

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