Beating the Post-Valentine’s Breakup Blues
Feb 24th
The phone has been ringing with newly heartbroken singles whose relationships sadly ended after Valentine’s Day. Some singles want to jump back online and find themselves staring at their ex’s online dating and Facebook profiles. Others need more time to recover. I spoke with ellie, the queen bee and founder at pink kisses about this dilemma. We commiserated, bonded, and together we’ve decided to help heal some hearts.
It’s a great treat to feature ellie and her co-founder amy with their thoughts about the breakup season. They’re my kind of gals.
Beating the Post-Valentine Breakup Blues
by ellie scarborough & amy lynch of pinkkisses.com
ellie and amy - pinkkisses.com
Valentine’s Day has been hyped up since the days of cheap paper cartoon cards with lollipops stuck through the center. We all went home one day each year with a bunch of obligatory doilies and dimestore candy stuffed into our backpacks, and February 15th was just another day.
Now that we’re adults, the annual schmoopfest is every bit as ubiquitous as it was back then, but it takes on a different meaning these days. In a way, even though it’s billed as “the most romantic day of the year,” it somewhat ironically signals the end of … well, couples season. It starts with the age-old “do I or don’t I take you home to meet the family” question just before Thanksgiving, cruises beneath the mistletoe of December and pauses for a much-anticipated (and sometimes overrated) midnight kiss on New Year’s Eve. There’s so much societal pressure leading up to mid-February that, once the candies have been devoured and the roses have died, it’s no wonder so many couples start splitting up before the spring.
At pinkkisses.com, we’ve been hearing lately from girls whose boyfriends called it quits right after Valentine’s Day. And it’s not a huge surprise that with spring break coming up, lots of college couples are going their separate ways as well; in fact, a study of Facebook noted recently that the weeks leading up to spring break are a peak time of year for statuses to switch from “in a relationship” to “single.” The bottom line is this: although temperatures are starting to warm up and flowers are beginning to bloom, lots of relationships are cooling and the victims left in their wake are probably feeling a little wilted right about now.
But here’s the thing: while the end of a relationship may signal a low point, bringing out all your insecurities and temporarily damaging your sense of self-worth, you don’t have to wallow in the mire. In fact, you can flip your so-called “low point” on its ear and create a turning point out of it. Sure, it’s necessary to take some time to grieve the loss of what you once shared with your ex, but a breakup offers a hidden treasure: the opportunity to start fresh – not just with your dating life, but with your entire life in general.
All that time you were spending with your ex can now be spent doing… well, whatever you damn well please. The pursuits you weren’t making room for in your life can now take center stage. You may be feeling small, but in reality you’re standing on a perfect platform for transformation. The weeks and months following a tough breakup present an amazing opportunity to — as we like to say — find your inner badass. Think of it as a clean slate. It’s a chance to take control of your life and emerge stronger, wiser and happier on the other side. Make no mistake: no matter when, how or why it all had to end, moving on and living well is most definitely the best revenge. And in the end, it’s sweeter than any Valentine chocolates could ever be.
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Reading Room – Sealing the Deal by Dr. Diana Kirschner
Feb 23rd
When I had the opportunity to read an advanced copy of Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love, I not only jumped at the chance, but I also formally endorsed this relationship book. I believe in Dr. Diana Kirschner’s work. As the Love Mentor, Dr. Diana gives you concrete tools to really help you find and keep the love you are looking for.
You’ll start off by signing a “Lasting Love Contract.” It’s been proven that if you actually write your desires and wishes down and read them, you’ll have a much more likely chance of having them come to fruition. Dr.Diana also instructs you to write down your fears and will help you determine if he’s really “the one.”
I encourage readers to pick up a copy of this book, because we all know that everyone wants to love and be loved. With Dr. Diana’s help, you’ll start believing in the possibilities. Her relationship advice is spot on. Sealing the Deal is a welcome addition to the Cyber Dating Expert Reading Room. Enjoy!
Click here to purchase your copy of Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love
Why I Use Google Voice for Dating
Feb 22nd
Online dating safety is important for singles looking for love on the Internet. We all want to find love, and usually the sooner, the better. What if you could have one phone number devoted exclusively to dating? Would you be more likely to be handing out your calling card?
If you’re hesitant to give out your home or cell phone number to someone who you’ve only corresponded via email with, you should be right. But there are several options to maintain your privacy while still scheduling dates on your calendar.
For my dating coaching clients, I often recommend that they sign up for a Google Voice account. Using Google Voice is free and is simple to use.
To get started, visit Google.com/voice to set up your account. The simplest way is to link your cell phone number so you can receive calls while you’re out and about. You’ll have the opportunity to select a custom phone number from several choices. Go ahead and reserve one for dating purposes. Take it one step further and order a social calling card with your new unique dating phone number on it.
Once you select your phone number, you’ll have the opportunity to record your name. I suggest using just your first name. Let him hear your voice and know you aren’t just a voicemail service.
You should record an outgoing greeting as well. Google will magically call your cell phone number and allow you to record your message. The good news is your inbound messages can be transcribed to you and received via text. If you’d like to screen your calls, Google voice provides this service as well. I advise singles to have this deactivated, as it could be a deterrent to having someone actually complete the call and leave you a message. You can always turn it on at a future time.
Do you only want to receive calls from your dates during specific times? No problem. Google voice lets you control weekday and weekend calls as well as the times you’d like your phone to ring. Otherwise, the messages will go to your Google voicemail box.
Still confused? Contact us at CyberDatingExpert.com/contact and we’d be happy to help you date safely on the Web.
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Dating and Love on the Couch
Feb 20th
Yes, I spent part of my Valentine’s Day with over 100 singles on the World’s longest red sofa.
BoConcepts, creator of the 2.2 ton red leather couch teamed up with Hurry Date to help singles who thought they’d be dateless on Valentine’s Day. The event ended with an ice skating mixer at ICE in Santa Monica, CA and I managed to have a romantic late night dinner at one of my favorite restaurants afterwards.
Cyber Love Story of the Week – Kristina and Tom
Feb 18th
Kristina was on Match.com for about four weeks when she met Tom.
“I had been messaging with a few other guys and met only one other in person. When I received Tom’s first message I just had to respond,” said Kristina.
Tom’s message read something like this:
“Hi, I am looking for a good looking girl who doesn’t talk, has lots of ex-boyfriend drama and only eats salad at dinner. From your picture I see you are good looking and noticed you are a Mets fan, which is a bonus. Let me know if you are interested. If not, good luck in life and stuff. –TOM”
“When I clicked onto his profile his main quote said, “Three Words: NO BACK HAIR.” I have a weakness for cute, funny guys and he had me at that. Then I went on to read his absolutely ridiculous bio which was all made up, but very well written! I was laughing so hard and messaged him back right away,” added Kristina.
Their relationship worked right from the beginning and instantly clicked. The two were engaged nine months from their first date. Tom’s proposal was perfect and sentimental.
“The beach had always played an important role in my family’s life from the time my parents met at Jones Beach in the 1976,” said Kristina.
She added, “My father passed away on July 25, 1996. The year following his death, we held a memorial service for him at the beach where he would fish every weekend. On July 25, 2009, my mom, stepdad, my brother, his girlfriend, Tom and I went to the same beach where my dad fished so we can share the moment with them.”
Little did she know, but Tom had a marriage proposal all planned out and the moment her mom said, “let me get a picture of you two,” that was his cue to get on one knee. Tom began his proposal with, “I know you wanted your family to be here for this moment and I wanted to make sure your dad was a part of it as well.” He then continued to say, “so, do you want to do this?”
Kristina and Tom will be getting married on July 22, 2011—the exact date her parents would have been celebrating their 33rd wedding anniversary.
Congratulations to Kristina and Tom, our Cyber Love Story of the Week couple who found love online on Match.com
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Read More Cyber Love Stories>>>
5 Post-Valentine’s Tips for Online Dating
Feb 17th
Whew! You made it through Valentine’s Day, or did you?
If you’re single, you might have stayed home and pulled the sheets over your head until the clock struck midnight. Other singles that I heard from gathered together for the evening and sipped a few cocktails together and then went home alone. It was agonizing. It was painful. I know, you don’t want to have another Valentine’s Day alone, which is why you’re visiting this site right now.
So, as the bearer of good news, we’re heading into March Madness and Spring Fever will be around the corner. What does this mean for singles? It means the holiday season from Thanksgiving through Valentine’s is thankfully over. The men who disappeared in the weeks leading to Valentine’s Day are resurfacing right now since the holiday pressure has subsided.
So toss away your favorite red dress for a moment and let’s talk about some online dating tips to get your profile noticed and rise to the top.
1. Start from Scratch. If you still like your current site, you don’t need a makeover of your present profile. What you need is a brand new profile originating from a new and unique email address. If you’ve taken a break from online dating and are ready to jump back in, don’t refresh your existing profile. Retire it permanently and start from scratch. This way you’ll show up in a search as “brand new” and you’ll be the fresh new face in the digital playing field.
2. Change Your Catchy Screen Name. Let’s face it. Your current screen name isn’t really that catchy is it? If so, you’d be riding into the sunset with someone right now. Think about a name that doesn’t describe you to your girlfriends. You’re writing to attract a quality man and he doesn’t want to hear about your shopping expeditions. While you may be a fashionista and will look great on a date, he’ll think you’ll be spending all of his money while gallivanting at the mall and won’t be spending time with him. Think about what you’d like to do together as a couple. What activities and interests will you have in common? Imagine spending them with your dream guy. Pick three different catchy screen names and rotate them on your profile headline. Don’t describe yourself as pretty or beautiful as you will seem shallow. Men are visual. They’ll notice how you look in your profile photos. You’ll know soon enough which names get the most attention.
3. Be Realistic. I’m not saying don’t be picky. Wanting a Renaissance man who makes $300,000 a year and will give you back massages and write you love notes all day long is not realistic. Whatever you have on your list, cut your list in half to show the absolutely most critical things you want in a partner. Our goal is to help you find love and a meaningful relationship. I know you can find it online and I’m here to help you do so.
4. Spend One Hour a Day Online. You say you’re too busy to spend one hour searching through profiles and finding quality men to date? If you can find time to go to the gym three times a week, meet your girlfriends for drinks, and attend business networking events, then you must allocate one hour a day to devote to your love life. I know you’re already logging onto Facebook up to an hour every day. While you’re checking the latest status updates and commenting, cut that time down and visit your online dating site.
5. Two is Better Than One. Online dating is a numbers game. Fortunately, there are over 1500 sites to pick from. My suggestion is to sign up for one mainstream popular site that has a lot of active members and select a second niche site to post another profile. If you’re wondering what a niche site is, it’s one that focuses in on your hobbies or religious beliefs. There are sites for book lovers, vegetarians, pet lovers, and those with medical conditions. There truly is someone for everyone. Visit our Dating Community for some sites that I recommend.
Make this spring your time to find the love that you truly are looking for. If you need personalized help with your online dating profile, you’re not alone. Contact us to find out more about coaching programs at CyberDatingExpert.com/Irresistible Coaching. We’ll help you create an irresistible online dating profile to attract your dream date.
Valentine’s Day Advice – A Conversation with eHarmony [video] Part 1
Feb 14th
In my exclusive interview with Dr. Gian Gonzaga, Senior Director of Research and Development at eHarmony Labs, you’ll hear about how singles and couples should celebrate Valentine’s Day.
Did you know if your photos are on your online dating profile, you’re 8 times more likely to get a response? Find out what the magic number of photos you should post and if you should post photos of your pets.
Learn more about the new book, the eHarmony Guide to Dating the Second Time Around, find out if you should propose on Valentine’s Day and more on Julie Spira TV. And don’t forget, eHarmony is offering their Free Communication month through February 28th.
BBC Live Debate – Can You Find Love on the Internet?
Feb 14th
There’s no shortage of advice and opinions when it comes to matters of the heart on Valentine’s Day.
In celebration of the most romantic day of the year, I’ll be returning to BBC Live 5, at midnight UK, 7pm EST, 4pm PST to talk about finding love online on Valentine’s Day.
In this lively debate on the Tony Livesey show, I’ll be joined with British dating expert, Andy Jones and a woman who is dead set against joining an online dating site. I believe as Facebook continues to grown, so will memberships to online dating sites. Can we convince her to give it a shot? Are you for or against online dating?
Here are my Top 10 Online Dating Dos and Don’ts for Valentine’s Day, and beyond. Hint: She won’t be flattered to receive a text message from a male suitor that says Happy Valentine’s Day, when he hasn’t asked her to be his Valentine.
We’ll be answering your questions on the dos and don’ts of online dating on this special Valentine’s edition of the Tony Livesey show, so I hope you tune in to listen.
To listen to the show, click here.
eHarmony’s Valentine’s Advice – Ask the Cyber Dating Expert Show
Feb 12th
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert
What an honor and pleasure it was to feature eHarmony on the Valentine’s edition of Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Show.
Dr. Gian Gonzaga, Senior director of research and development took time from his busy media schedule and book tour for this exclusive 30-minute radio interview.
Find out his online dating tips and relationship advice for Valentine’s. We know it’s stressful and your expectations are high.
You’ll hear about their new book the eHarmony Guide to Dating the Second Time Around and we’ve got 10 signed copies that we’re giving away on Facebook, so I hope you like us to enter to win.
We talked about when and how to introduce your children in your new relationship, what makes a good date, and if you should say “I Love You” on Valentine’s Day for the first time.
You’ll be surprised to find out that both men and women want the same three things.
Here’s the list:
1. Funny
2. Smart
3. Adaptable
Did you notice that sexy and hot aren’t on this list? So ladies, be flexible and enjoy the show!
Weekly Flirt – Valentine’s Edition
Feb 11th
