Weekly Flirt – Memorial Weekend Edition
May 27th
Click here and let the flirting begin>>>
Online Dating – Is Honesty the Best Policy?
May 24th
I recently attended a swanky party in Beverly Hills and met a lovely single woman who said she had to talk to me about her online dating profile. Naturally, I was ready to hear what her secret was.
She boasted about how she had written the most creative and best profile of anyone on Match.com. She went into great details about how she listed everything that was unacceptable in a man and that if he had any of these personality traits, they shouldn’t bother writing to her.
After listening to her enthusiasm about a profile filled with negativity, I asked the million dollar question, “Did you lie about your age?” Her response was an immediate yes. She claimed, as many singles do, that she looked so much younger than her real age and took six years off her age to fit into a search. When I asked her how long she had been looking for love online, she responded that she hadn’t been in a relationship for six years.
Obviously her personal digital marketing plan wasn’t working. She had never been married and was almost 60 years old. She agreed to a critique and was ready for some dating tips.
Sure, she went to one of the top dermatologists in town. Sure, she wore designer labels and dressed to impress the women who would recognize them. At the end of the day, she was inauthentic and still single.
I offered to critique her profile and made some subtle changes. She listed her dream life, one where she wanted a man to financially support her and proudly claimed she was high maintenance. It wasn’t the life she was living yet, and her inbox wasn’t filled with male suitors ready to sign up. She stated in her first sentence that she was great looking. Men are visual. They will decide upon viewing your profile photo if they are attracted to you or not. Stating it in the first sentence appeared conceited to most men who viewed her photo and most of them moved on.
I share these true stories with you because authenticity is sexy. Being authentic translates to being confident and happy. Where you are now is just fine. Keep your dreams, but portray yourself in your profile as approachable, realistic and human. I encourage all of you who feel you need to lie in your profile about your age, weight, or financial status to toss that belief out the digital window. You are just perfect, the way you are. It’s time for some truth-in-advertising and for you to really find love online.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com. Like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert for dating advice and follow her at Twitter.com/JulieSpira
Cyber Love Song of the Week – If Not For You, Bob Dylan
May 23rd
In honor of Bob Dylan’s 70th birthday this week, we polled our friends on Facebook to decide on the most romantic Bob Dylan song for this week’s Cyber Love Song of the Week.
The winner was “If Not For You,” written by Bob Dylan and performed with George Harrison. Other favorite romantic songs included, “I Want You” and “Just Like a Woman.”
Do you have a favorite romantic love song? Let us know by suggesting it on our Facebook page at facebook.com/cyberdatingexpert
Reading Room – William & Catherine: Their Story
May 17th
Still feeling like a hopeful romantic after watching the Royal wedding? Andrew Morton, biographer and author of the New York Times bestselling book, Diana: Her True Story
The book, William & Catherine: Their Story
Love Potions – Rasberry Gelato
May 16th
Getting ready for the warm weather? Our friends at BakeSpace have contributed another luscious recipe for our Love Potions.
Enjoy this creamy rasberry gelato dessert worth serving to your date or sweetheart.
INGREDIENTS
- Servings: 6-8
- Preparation Time: 3 hours
- 12 oz. fresh raspberries
- 2/3 c. sugar (I used half granulated and half vanilla sugar)
- 2 c. whole milk
- 1/2 c. heavy cream
- 1 tsp. fresh lemon or lime juice
DIRECTiONS
1. Process berries, sugar, and whole milk in a food processor or blender until smooth. Pour into a nonreactive bowl.
2. Add in the heavy cream and mix just enough to combine. (Do not whip the cream.) Add in the lemon or lime juice. Cover and refrigerate for at least four hours and up to overnight.
3. Transfer the mixture into an ice cream maker and freeze according to the manufacturer’s instructions. Serve immediately or freeze up to one month.
***Note: You can substitute the following fruits using the above recipe: bananas, peaches, pears, strawberries, blackberries, apricots, Granny Smith apples, and blueberries.
Cyber Love Song of the Week – Every Little Thing She Does is Magic
May 16th
Happy Music Monday. Enjoy one of our favorite romantic love songs, “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic” by The Police.
The 2011 Orange Ball, Paula Abdul, James Denton, the Band From TV
May 15th
Paula Abdul - Lupus LA Orange Ball
The Beverly Wilshire Hotel was the host to the 11th annual Lupus LA Orange Ball, where guests walked the orange carpet in support of the chronic inflammatory disease.
This year’s honorees were Debbi and Roger Cowan who received the Founders Award. The lovely Paula Abdul, now a judge for upcoming FOX TV show “The X Factor – US” graciously accepted the Loop Award for her contributions to raise awareness for Lupus.
One of the highlights of the evening was the performance of Band From TV, a group of a television actors who perform for charity. Desperate Housewives Terri Hatcher (Susan) joined her on-camera husband James Denton (Mike) onstage. Hatcher talked about what it was like to be single and sharing her hope to find that special guy in real life.
Lupus LA hoped to raise $500,000 for Lupus research. Watch the video highlights below.
Follow Julie at http://twitter.com/JulieSpira
13 Ways to Get Lucky in Love on Friday the 13th
May 13th
It’s Friday the 13, so instead of feeling unlucky in the romance department and staying home with a pint of ice cream, grab your inner flirt and enjoy the day.
All around the world, people will be thinking about Friday the 13th. In Australia, they say the stars are in alignment and it’s considered a good day for lovers.
There’s no need to think that will be a perilous one. For those who are leery, I challenge you to go ahead and ask try some of these 13 dating tips and leave the superstitions behind. After all, there’s only one Friday the 13th this year, so put your best foot forward, walk over the crack in the sidewalk, and leave the fear behind.
- Have a crush at work? Ask out the cute girl down the hall out for an after-work drink.
- Taking a walk during your lunch break? Smile at guy who is standing next to you at the red light.
- Looking for love online? Log in and write to 13 men or women whose profiles pique your curiosity.
- Not ready to send an email? Send 13 flirts or winks instead with the hope that he or she will notice.
- Curious about your horoscope? Email the person you’re in communication with theirs and ask them is they’re superstitious on Friday the 13th.
- Canceling your date for fear it will be bad luck? Keep it on your calendar or he or she may end up in the arms of another.
- Change your online dating profile and post 13 photos that you’ve already uploaded on Facebook.
- Open up your Facebook chat and look through the thumbnails of who is online now and start the conversation.
- Big on Twitter? Remember #FollowFriday and send #FF wishes to 13 people who you admire, whether you’ve met or not.
- Find a happy hour in your neighborhood and go for a light dinner. Ask that cute guy or girl what they think of Friday the 13th to get the conversation started.
- Go to YouTube and listen to Stevie Wonder’s hit song, “Superstitious.”
- Still think you should stay in? Rent the film “Friday the 13th:” on Netflix and watch it with someone you’d like to cuddle up with. Remember there are 4 versions of this famous horror flick.
- On a date? Spill some salt on the table after you walk under the ladder and laugh about it during dessert.Who knows? Today might just be the beginning of a series of anniversary dates and you just might get lucky in love after all.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice, visit CyberDatingExpert.com and like us at facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Dating Over 50? There’s a New Site For You
May 11th
Photo credit: OurTime.com
Our friends at IAC, operator of Match.com have created a new site for singles over 50 looking for love online. OurTime.com was officially launched this week to help boomer singles 50+ find age-appropriate dates.
I recently spoke with Josh Meyers, CEO of People Media about OurTime.com and the rebranding from their successful Senior People Meet service for those who don’t look or feel over-the-hill. I shared his enthusiasm of the new name for a senior online dating site as not everyone in their 50s is ready to be called a “Senior.”
After a soft launch a few months ago, the site was able to attract over 1 million active members in conjunction with SeniorPeopleMeet.com. This popular growing demographic for online daters has received a lot of attention recently.
According to a press release, IAC has recorded a 400% increase in this member segment on People Media sites alone.
“This growing segment has clearly embraced online dating,” said Greg Blatt, CEO of IAC. “Our approach with any demographic category is to provide online dating choices, and this is no exception. To complement the broad-based experience enjoyed by so many over 50 on Match.com, we’re offering the more targeted experience of OurTime.com. We expect substantial growth to continue with this group across both properties.”
Boomer dating is growing in popularity as many empty-nesters become divorced around the age of 50. Not everyone gets fixed up by their friends. If they’re logging onto facebook, they might as well join an age-appropriate dating site.
Members of OurTime.com can opt in to be viewed on SeniorPeopleMeet.com with no additional charge.
For more online dating advice, like us at facebook.com/cyberdatingexpert
Peril of the Week – Advanced Warning Issued
May 10th
It started out as an email sent from a man in New York who was a member of a popular online dating site. The recipient, an attractive intelligent single female shared the introductory email with some of her friends on Facebook, myself included. She wanted to know if she should go out with the man with the red flags. At first she thought it was hilarious. I told her not to go. Her curiosity got the best of her, so without further adieu, here’s an example of a date destined to go bad.
His first email appeared to be a “cut and paste” to many filled with a negative attitude. It read as follows:
“This may sound rude/odd but…what’s wrong with you? I have found there has to be a catch if I come across a cute, seemingly intelligent, well manner girl on this site.”
“I have tried this online dating thing for a while and to be honest… IT SUCKS!!!
“In the last month or so, I have been: stood up three times, canceled on at the last minute, met a girl who started to make out with another random guy at the bar while I watched, found out mid-date that the girl was inky 21 when her profile said she was 29, had a girl tell me how she is still in love with her ex, been told the day after a first date that she was getting back with her fiancé, but would love to use me for sex and my favorite…told that I was part of a “30 dates with 30 guys in 30 days” dare and that I had no shot. Fun times, right????”
“Now…based on the fact that you seem pretty awesome and the fact that I am apparently not cool enough to have plans on what should be a beautiful Friday night…How would you feel about being totally spontaneous and meeting me this evening? (who knows we might even like each other and get to make out?)”
“Now, I know you may want to email back and forth for days and then build up all this excitement hoping you found “the one”…but…I have found that usually leads to disappointment and then possibly therapy and sadness, right? Let’s skip all that nonsense and meet right away…OK? It will save us the let-down in the long run.”
“Now if you call/text/email, we can have possibly the blindest of dates…(assuming you don’t stand me up) or we can flirt via text from now until we do meet and build up expectations. Your choice, but first, please warn me about what is wrong with you so I know going into this that there will be little surprise!
”
With an email like this, I would have done one of two things. Either deleted it without response and forgotten about it, or send an email saying “No thank you. Best of luck with your search.”
Comments from her friends included, “Just be careful” to “This is hilarious. Go and report back to us.” I explained that it was a mass email sent to many other women and told her not to go. Online dating safety is a hot button for me. I had a bad feeling about this from reading just the first sentence of his email. I thought she should use her time wisely and find a man who is positive, emotionally healthy and worthy of her. I told her to do her homework, Google his email and phone number to find out more about him if she really wanted to pursue this. I had a bad feeling. I was told that I was too serious and that this was hilarious.
She did indeed go on a date with him, which was a disaster. She said she should have known that he was going to be crazy. After resfusing to tell him where she worked or lived, he left her in the bar. That would have been fine if it was over, but it wasn’t. He started to send her mean and nasty text messages. She asked him not to contact her again, and he said “no.”
Not only does this date qualify for The Peril of the Week, but it’s a warning message to spot the red flags and remember how to date safely. Don’t give out your home or work address, create a separate phone number on Google voice so you can change it if you continue to get harassed by a date gone badly, and trust your intuition. Listen to your friends if they are concerned about you. There are many wonderful singles looking for love online, but if you come across a situation or profile like this, report it to the Internet dating site you met on.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Send your submissions and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
