How Music Can Enhance Your Online Dating Profile
So you’ve joined an online dating site and have uploaded your profile information, but you’re disappointed that the responses and views are slim-to-none.
You realize that you don’t have a catchy screen name and sadly failed creative writing in high school. So what can you do to grab the attention of a potential digital suitor?
When I write Irresistible dating profiles for singles looking for love online, I spend a lot of time talking to them about what they are the most passionate about. Whether it’s music, art, travel, or hiking, singles need to make it easy for others to write to them with a more than just generic topic.
Still, it’s difficult for most singles to create a catchy screen name or headline. If you’re still stumped, my recommendation is to think about the songs you love. Do you remember hearing a song on the radio that made you hum in the car? If so, it’s time to play “Name that Online Dating Tune.”
It’s simple to do. Just find the title or lyrics of a song that makes you smile and might be familiar to those viewing your profile. Poof. You now have a catchy screen name. When you use a partial lyric from a song, invite those looking at your profile to fill in the blanks. It’s fun, it’s flirty, engaging and it works.
When I heard the song “Tiny Dancer” by Elton John on the radio, I decided to use the first line of “Blue Jean Baby, LA Lady….” as a catchy screen name. The first sentence of the profile bio started with, “Seamstress for what band?” The views to the dating profile increased by over 1000%. Some who knew the answer wrote about their favorite Elton John song. Others who didn’t know the answer took action and actually did a Google search and typed in the lyrics to find the answer to respond correctly. They viewed, they winked, and they replied. If you need a little help, here’s a site with 10 Best Opening Lyrics. Make sure to read the long list of comments filled with other song title ideas.
Have you used songs in your online dating profiles? Feel free to comment.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, having created her first profile over 15 years ago. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
10 Favorite Songs About Hollywood
It’s time for me to put my DJ hat back on in celebration of the Academy Awards.
Whether your favorite film or actor won, one thing is for sure–These songs will never go out of style.
So without further digital adieu, here are my favorites? Get your ballots out and vote for your favorite in the comments.
2. The Kinks – Celluloid Heroes
3. Supertramp – Gone Hollywood
6. Sheryl Crowe – All I Wanna Do
7. Sly and the Family Stone – Everybody is a Star
9. Kool and the Gang – Hollywood Swinging
10. Billy Joel – Say Goodbye to Hollywood
Do you have a favorite Hollywood song? Add yours to the list and vote for your top song.
Dating Advice – Is it OK To Want a Friendship Without the Benefits?
Cyber-Dating Expert
What happens when your ideal guy and you aren’t ready for a commitment? A confused reader asks for dating and relationship advice with her new male friend.
Dear Julie.
I need your help and have a dilemma. I recently became friends with a guy and we spend a lot of time together. He texts me every day and due to our busy schedules, makes a point of hanging out with me every weekend. He waits from me after work and is an all-around gentleman.
After a month of spending time with him, I started developing feelings for him and I told him so. I told him that I really care for for him and like him, but that I couldn’t be in a committed relationship since I’m trying to focus on graduating college and establishing a life after school.
When I asked him how he felt about me, he responded that he sees us as friends. It was a mature conversation and I told him I could accept that.
Can you explain what is going on in this crazy man’s head, or maybe I’m crazy?
~Only Friends
Dear Only Friends,
You have described the ideal man. The type of man every woman dreams of – one who is consistent in his actions, spends every weekend with you, is a complete gentleman, and made you a priority on Valentine’s Day.
Your guy hasn’t tossed you in bed and discarded you for another. In short, he’s a keeper and is hanging in there based upon your rules. You’ve told Mr. Perfect that you can’t have a committed relationship with him, and he hasn’t disappeared. The one thing you aren’t doing is being consistent with your feelings for him. Think about it. You tell him you have feelings for him and in the same breath, tell him you can’t be in a committed relationship? Some of the best relationships start off as friends, so you have the foundation for a good relationship moving forward.
Be happy for the friendship. He’s just respecting the confusing boundaries you’ve set in the relationship. Give him the opportunity to take the lead and see where it goes.
Keep us posted.
All my best,
Julie Spira
Do you have a dating question or dilemma? If so, we’d love to hear from you. Do you love our site? We’ve been named a finalist for Best Dating Blog in the Readers’ Choice Awards and would love your vote to win!
Julie Spira is an online dating expert, bestselling author and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Cyber Dating Expert Named Finalist for Best Dating Blog
It’s such an honor that CyberDatingExpert.com has been named a finalist for the second year in a row in About.com’s Reader’s Choice Awards for the Best Dating Blog in 2012.
We are passionate about helping singles with dating advice, writing irresistible online dating profiles, highlighting different dating sites, mobile dating apps, and featuring you in our Cyber Love Story of the Week feature.
“Julie Spira is a bit of a Renaissance woman when it comes to dating: she’s an author, blogger, radio personality, and dating coach, all while having famous folks like Joan Rivers (yes, that Joan Rivers!) applaud her writing style,” said About.com’s Dating expert Bonny Albo. ” Spira is the only second-time nominee on this best-of dating blog list, having lost by only a small margin in 2011.”
From February 22, 2012 through March 21, 2012, you can vote daily for Cyber Dating Expert to win. The voting phase begins Wednesday, February 22, 2012 and continues through Wednesday, March 21, 2012. The winners, as determined by your votes, will be announced on Friday, March 30, 2012.
Cast your vote here daily to help us win.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert, bestselling author and CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert. Follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Cyber Love Links
Cyber Love Links – Links to love, when you’re in the mood for love.
Now that Valentine’s is a distant memory, we’re taking a digital moment to thank some of those who included us in their dating advice stories for what we called, worldwide romance week.
A huge Shout out and thank you to the Miami Herald who featured my online dating tips in “Dating sites become mainstream and focus on more niche markets.” The article features Matchmaker.com and Jewcier founder Meir Strahlberg, a Miami entrepreneur and friend of Cyber-Dating Expert. Thanks to our new friends at Prevention magazine for “Should you Ditch Online Dating?” and to Rita Watson on Psychology Today for featuring me in her Love and Gratitude column. It was a thrill to be quoted on NBC News: Safely Surfing for Your Sweetheart and to appear on FOX News in three separate television segments.
For the singles dating in college, check out College Magazine’s “Wine and Dine Me: Tips on Being Romantic,” Daily Kansan: “Tips on Virtual Love,” and Campus Explorer for “Rise in Online Dating for Students.”
For your viewing pleasure, our friends at YourTango posted their Ask the Experts Video, “What is Mobile Dating?” Yes, it’s the hottest trend so it’s time to hop on board.
Over at GenConnect, I contributed a guest post, “Still Need a Date for Valentine’s? and gave my two cents worth on Huffington Post in “Experts and Researchers Say Online Dating Has Lost its Stigma,” which has been tweeted 83 times and still counting. Hint, hint. We love the social media love.
Ever wonder who signs on to Missed Connections on Craig’s List? So did The Brooklyn Paper and Digital Trends. Find out how a professor took a deeper look and created a site to help those in search of the one who got away.
As always, I wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Like Cyber Dating Expert on Facebook.
Why You Should Love Mobile Dating [video]
It’s official. Logging onto your favorite online dating site from your mobile device now ranks ahead of visiting the traditional web version.
Gone are the days where you had to go home to check your email from your desktop after a long day of work. So grab your iPhone, iPad Android and smartphone and start dating and flirting in-real-time.
Enjoy our mobile dating video and when you get a moment, check out our Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps list. Feel free to add some of your favorites in the comments.
Question: Are you meeting more singles because of location-based mobile dating apps?
Julie Spira is an online and mobile dating expert. She created her first online dating profile in 1994 and today helps singles on the dating scene by creating their irresistible profiles. For more dating advice, follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
How to Get Over a Valentine’s Breakup
There’s no doubt about it, breaking up around Valentine’s is the pits. It’s in line with being left at the altar, broken engagements, and birthday breakups.
There’s no good time to breakup, but in the digital age, breaking up means changing your Facebook status, deleting and untagging photos, and sometimes having a few down days. Since we have a long holiday weekend, go ahead and take the time to recover.
My friend ellie at Pink Kisses contributed a great Valentine’s breakup post that I wanted to share with you again. It’s time to heal that breaking heart.
Beating the Post-Valentine Breakup Blues
by ellie scarborough of pinkkisses.com
Valentine’s Day has been hyped up since the days of cheap paper cartoon cards with lollipops stuck through the center. We all went home one day each year with a bunch of obligatory doilies and dimestore candy stuffed into our backpacks, and February 15th was just another day.
Now that we’re adults, the annual schmoopfest is every bit as ubiquitous as it was back then, but it takes on a different meaning these days. In a way, even though it’s billed as “the most romantic day of the year,” it somewhat ironically signals the end of … well, couples season. It starts with the age-old “do I or don’t I take you home to meet the family” question just before Thanksgiving, cruises beneath the mistletoe of December and pauses for a much-anticipated (and sometimes overrated) midnight kiss on New Year’s Eve. There’s so much societal pressure leading up to mid-February that, once the candies have been devoured and the roses have died, it’s no wonder so many couples start splitting up before the spring.
At pinkkisses.com, we’ve been hearing lately from girls whose boyfriends called it quits right after Valentine’s Day. And it’s not a huge surprise that with spring break coming up, lots of college couples are going their separate ways as well; in fact, a study of Facebook noted recently that the weeks leading up to spring break are a peak time of year for statuses to switch from “in a relationship” to “single.” The bottom line is this: although temperatures are starting to warm up and flowers are beginning to bloom, lots of relationships are cooling and the victims left in their wake are probably feeling a little wilted right about now.
But here’s the thing: while the end of a relationship may signal a low point, bringing out all your insecurities and temporarily damaging your sense of self-worth, you don’t have to wallow in the mire. In fact, you can flip your so-called “low point” on its ear and create a turning point out of it. Sure, it’s necessary to take some time to grieve the loss of what you once shared with your ex, but a breakup offers a hidden treasure: the opportunity to start fresh – not just with your dating life, but with your entire life in general.
All that time you were spending with your ex can now be spent doing… well, whatever you damn well please. The pursuits you weren’t making room for in your life can now take center stage. You may be feeling small, but in reality you’re standing on a perfect platform for transformation. The weeks and months following a tough breakup present an amazing opportunity to — as we like to say — find your inner badass. Think of it as a clean slate. It’s a chance to take control of your life and emerge stronger, wiser and happier on the other side. Make no mistake: no matter when, how or why it all had to end, moving on and living well is most definitely the best revenge. And in the end, it’s sweeter than any Valentine chocolates could ever be.
If you love this post, like Pink Kisses and Cyber-Dating Expert on Facebook.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author. She creates irresistible dating profiles for singles on the dating scene. Sign up for the Weekly Flirt for dating advice and share your stories at CyberDatingExpert.com
How Digital is Your Love Life?
Online dating doesn’t mean just signing up for a dating site when you’re single any more. It’s a multi-billion dollar industry filled with mobile apps, dating coaches, and helps both singles find love and couples stay together with ongoing dating tips.
In a pre-Valentine’s Love Goes Digital panel hosted by Kevin Winston of Digital LA, online dating experts and sites discussed dating advice, the growing trend of mobile dating, and how to keep your love alive after the knot has been tied.
Grant Langston, head of social media at eHarmony and an employee of the site since before it’s launch in 2000 shared his experience on the changes their site has gone through. In my personal opinion, I think they have one of the best iPad apps around. The site will shortly be rolling out a new feature for your eHarmony timeline that’s similar to a Facebook time-line.
Justin Fredericks, founder of Marriage.com, a video network that curates, produces and promotes videos about wedding, marriage, dating, and relationships talked about the new social networking site Pinterest, as it focuses on women.
Jennifer Kelton from Bad Online Dates talked about her mobile strategy, Bad Date TV, and some niche online dating sites.
I shared with the audience how I created my first online dating profile in 1994 as a charter member of Love@Aol, during the days of the dial-up connection. I penned my stories in my first book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and created CyberDatingExpert.com as a place for singles and couples to share their online dating stories. The use of social media on Twitter and Facebook has made a big impact on my brand. I also told singles not to ‘friend’ someone on Facebook before or after a first date. Personally, I think it’s creepy.
The audience was a mixed group of singles, married couples, dating industry executives, love coaches and those who are still looking for love online. We nibbled on chocolate, sipped One Coconut Water, and discussed what you should say or not say in your online dating profile.
At the end of the digital day, most of the audience felt they’d rather keep their love and dating life off of Facebook.
One thing’s for sure. The audience left fully armed with the dos and don’ts of social and online dating in time for Valentine’s Day.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. Follow her @JulieSpira on Twitter. If you loved this post, Like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert for more dating advice.
What Women Don’t Want on Valentine’s Day
If you’re thinking of splurging on a big shiny diamond, fancy chocolate, or 2-dozen roses this Valentine’s Day to impress your date, don’t go rushing to break the bank. The clock is ticking as Valentine’s Day is tomorrow.
eHarmony asked over 350 women about what gifts they’d like on the most romantic day of the year, and the majority of those polled (87%) said that a gift wasn’t important to them. That’s right guys. Your best bet on Valentine’s this year is to just spend time with your date, girlfriend, or wife and not ignore the day. Grant Langston, eHarmomy’s Senior Director, Social Media says you should plan ahead and book a dinner reservation. Not sure where to go? Check out Open Table and see what restaurants are still available in your area and within your budget.
Think she’ll love a red teddy this year? Think again. It’s best to make your gift giving more personal, keep it simple, and stay away from lingerie. In eHarmony’s poll, a surprisingly majority of the women (97%) said anything, but lingerie.
Single daters on social dating site Zoosk seem to agree, with 58% of their 1200 singles polled saying flowers and chocolates are cliché.
I’ve gone on record saying that a confident man will ask a woman out for a first date on Valentine’s Day. A smart woman will accept the invitation. Zooskers seem to agree as 72% of the men and 58% of women think a Valentine’s first date is acceptable. Think about it, if you meet your online date on Valentine’s and it works out, it’s a terrific story to share with your friends and family.
eHarmony’s Grant Langston and I will be panelists on Digital LA’s Love Goes Digital Panel on February 13th in Santa Monica, CA talking about mobile and social dating for social media and digital enthusiasts.
At the end of the day, women don’t want you to forget Valentine’s Day. It’s the thought that matters, not the price tag of your gift. Your woman doesn’t want to be ignored on Valentine’s Day. So discard the pressure of having to make the day over-the-top and don’t fear Valentine’s Day. Remember it’s the thought that really counts.
Still feel the need to splurge? Check out our Irresistible Valentine’s Gift Guide and spoil yourself rotten. You deserve it.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
14 Niche, Nutty, and Sometimes Necessary Dating Sites
If you watched the CNBC online dating documentary, Love at First Byte, hosted by NBC news and Today Show Correspondent Amy Robach, you learned that there are over 1500 sites in the digital dating world. Amy featured niche sites such as Farmers Only and Equestrian Singles, but there are so many more. Some sites are wacky, others are serious.
The Miami Herald reports, “Dating sites become more mainstream, and focus on more niche markets.” From pet lovers and Gothic fanatics to Harley Davidson enthusiasts and those with pre-existing medical conditions, there’s a site for you. Are you ready to jump on board? Here are 14 sites to consider trying this Valentine’s.
1. Stache Passions – Tagline: Oh Yeah, it’s All About the ‘Stache!
There’s a constant debate as to whether women like men with facial hair. To shave, or not to shave? On this free dating site, men post their bearded look and the women who love them will jump on board.
2. We Waited – Do you dream of waiting staying a virgin until your wedding night? If so, We Waited is your site. Created by a couple, who did just that, this is a niche site with rules.
3. Harley Connect –Tagline: Where Single Harley Riders Meet.
Would you like to share your passion with other single bikers? If you’re looking for a guy with a Road King or a Harley Davidson Heritage Softail, this site is for you. Get ready to ride into the sunset with your helmets a-tow.
4. Geek 2 Geek – Tagline: The best place on the net to meet Geeks.
While online dating was in its infancy, most of the members were technology geeks. Now that it’s become mainstream, you’ll want to easily connect with another Geek, who won’t have problems remembering the url of GK2GK.
5. Date My Pet – Tagline: Date me. Date my Pet.
I say love me, love my pet. For those with severe allergies, I suggest you go elsewhere. For the guys who insist on having their primary online dating photo with their puppy, here’s a place where you’ll be welcome. Added bonus: Terrific pet advice.
6. Gothic Match – Tagline: #1 Online Dating Community for Gothic Singles and Friends.
Are you ready to share that tatoo or commiserate over its removal? Find like-minded singles you can relate to.
7. Sparkology – Tagline: An invite only luxury site for young professionals.
To join, guys will need to have graduated from one of the Top 50 schools, and women need to just have a college degree and well, have a great photo. The site was launched less than four months ago in New York, but they have plans to expand to other metropolitan cites. Would you change your zip code to meet one of these Ivy League guys?
8. Veggie Date – Tagline:– Winner of the 2010 Veg News Veggie Awards for Best Dating Site.
This site lets you sign up for 2 free weeks, so you can dine without beef together with a vegan of your choice. Was there competition? Yes, you can also check out Vegetarian Connections, the site where Vegetarians connect.
9. Dating 4 Disabled – Tagline: Where friendship and romance are only a click away
Online dating gives hope to singles, but many with medical issues and disabilities do feel hopeless. Created to empower the disabled community, this dating and social networking site allows their members to blog about how they are coping with their medical condition.
10. Fitness Singles –Tagline: Where Relationships Workout. You’re active.
You like to hike and bike and would like to share these activities with your date. This is the world’s largest online dating community for sports and fitness enthusiasts. I sat next to a couple at a Super Bowl party who met on this site and have been happily married for 5 years.
11. Women Behind Bars – Tagline: In Search of a Better Life.
Providing an inmate search and pictures for prison women who are looking for penpals while incarcerated. Should those with a criminal record be able to date? You won’t find them accepted on most mainstream sites, but It must get lonely in prison.
12. Pink Sofa – Tagline: Connecting Lesbians.
You can find a date or a friend on the world’s biggest lesbian meeting place. Liz James created this site 12 years ago as an online community and spoke at last year’s Internet Dating Conference in Beverly Hills.
13. Christian Mingle – Tagline: Find God’s Match for You.
From the people that brought you JDate, the largest Jewish online dating site, Christian Mingle now boasts 5 million users with a winning formula that works.
14. Our Time – Tagline: The Place Where Over 50 Meet.
While the site name might be new, Our Time was rebranded last year from People Media’s Senior People Meet to help singles 50+ find love on the Internet. The CNBC documentary showed that the 55+ singles market has increased by 40% since 2008. Some studies show that the over 60 crowd is the fastest growing demographic. This is great news for those who felt their digital shelf-life might have expired. Hint. Kids, sign your parents up if they’re alone.
Honorable mention: Facebook. Facebook isn’t just the world’s largest social network. Singles are chatting with friends-of-friends and glancing at photos resulting in many a Facebook marriage. With over 800 million members, by default even if even a fraction of Facebook’s singles started dating, it would make them the world’s largest dating site.
Most sites do let you sign up for free. Check out some of our Favorite Dating Sites as well. For a comprehensive look at the online dating industry, CNBC’s Love at First Byte will air again on February 14, 2012 at 8pm/eastern time. Set your DVR if you’ll be on an online date with your Valentine.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and is the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and her like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert for dating advice.
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