Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt
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Perfect Match Free Communication Through Valentine’s Day
We know the days leading up to Valentine’s Day are filled with mixed emotions. So do our friends at Perfect Match, who have graciously offered 5 Free days of communication, now through February 14th. You can search and communicate for free on their online dating site that focuses on finding a serious relationship. Sign up at Perfectmatch.com and let us know if you find that someone special.
Perfect Match is one of the recommended dating sites on CyberDatingExpert.com. We we may receive a commission if you click on this link.
Free Valentine’s Weekend on Chemistry
Wondering how to find a date for Valentine’s? The good news is an overwhelming number of singles polled this year say they feel good about going on a first date on Valentine’s Day.
We know that both men and women are feeling a bit of pressure now and so do our friends at Chemistry.com. They’ll make it easier for you to find a date this weekend with the Chemistry.com FREE Communication Weekend 2/10-2/12.
Sign up and enjoy the features on their online dating site. If you get lucky in love, you just might get featured in our Cyber Love Story of the Week.
Click here to get started, but don’t wait. This offer ends on Sunday night 2/12 at midnight..
If you need help with your online dating profile, let us know. We’ll create an irresistible dating profile guaranteed to attract more quality dates.
Chemistry is one of the recommended dating sites on CyberDatingExpert.com. We we may receive a commission if you click on this link.
Cyber Love Story of the Week – Jamie and Howie
Who says you can’t fall in love online during Valentine’s season? Meet Jamie and Howie, who met on JDate.
Jamie joined the Jewish singles online dating site upon a New Year as one of her dating resolutions. Shortly thereafter, she started chatting with Howie, who had never been married. Howie and his dog Spot had been on-and-off JDate for 12 years. His profile said, “Love me, love my pet.”
The two met in-real-life just two weeks before Valentine’s Day. Jamie said Howie put her through a rigorous test and she passed with flying colors.
Both having a passion for travel, they went on several cruises together. After a romantic trip to Hawaii, Howie proposed and the two became engaged. Together, they built their dream home and just celebrated their four-year anniversary. Jamie is the founder of LA Girl Secrets.
Congratulations to Jamie and Howie on finding love just in time for Valentine’s Day.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice and to share your online dating stories. Follow Julie on twitter @JulieSpira and like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
It’s Complicated – Dating in a Web 2.0 World
Just in time for Valentine’s, Harlequin publishing has released their 2012 Romance Report card with the resulting grade of, “It’s Complicated.”
Marrying both love and technology has both helped speed up relationships and connect through “Missed Connections,” as well as resulted in hurting someone’s digital feelings. I experienced this first-hand, as my ex-fiancé dumped me in an email during the time when a post-it was passé and Facebook was still an infant. Although it’s very old news in my digital book, I’m hoping that others will think twice before they push the send button or consider having their mobile phones rank higher on the totem pole than their sweetheart this Valentine’s Day.
The romance publisher looked at how Twitter, Facebook, Smartphone and technology has changed the way that men and women communicate with one another in matters of the heart. By polling single women 18-40, they found that the majority (58%) thought technology was a positive force in the dating world. Those who skewed younger (21-24 year olds) preferred texting to calling.
Although 91% of those surveyed said that dating rules had become more flexible, their findings showed that more than half of the women still had traditional values as it relates to romance. Women still want men to as them out, hold the door open for them, and pay for the first date. 82% of those surveyed said they preferred dating a guy with a sense of humor. With, or without technology, not much has changed in these areas.
However, Harlequin added in some dating “deal-breakers,” and they found that three out of five were technology-related. Having a too-needy guy was on the top of the list (32%), followed closely behind with a dependence on a BlackBerry or iPhone (31%), too many Facebook photos with an ex-girlfriend (29%), and those who were grammatically challenged (24%). Oh how simple it really is to untag an ex when you breakup and use spell-check during the digital courtship process. If men knew how easy it was to fix these little things, perhaps more relationships would flourish.
As for those deal-breakers, relationship expert Dr. Wendy Walsh says, “Men who are addicted to their smart phones may be too disconnected from real world relationships or may have a tech-induced attention-deficit-disorder that could impair kindness and intelligence.” Walsh added, “Men who display too many photos of themselves with their ex’s on Facebook may be showcasing their prior conquests to indicate that they are a player and out for sex rather than love.”
So what do women think is romantic? It’s not the price tag of a gift as much as remembering the small details and showing that you care. At the end of the digital day, romance is alive and well and all you really need is love.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and writes about the marriage of love and technology on Huffington Post. Julie is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and The Rules of Netiquette. Follow her @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
10 Irresistible Valentine’s Gifts
We know you haven’t selected a Valentine’s gift for you or your sweetheart yet. With all of the advanced hype, selecting the perfect gift usually happens the day of, or a few days before. So instead of standing in a long line at Sees Candies or visiting Sprinkles in search the perfect cupcake, we’re proud to announce the 2012 Cyber-Dating Expert Irresistible and Romantic Valentine’s Gift Guide. Indulge yourself if you’re single. Spoil your Valentine if you’re taken.
Some of the gifts are so irresistible, well you just might want to keep them for yourself.
1. Valentino Couture Bow Pump
Put them on your wish list today. Cost: $645 Neimans Marcus
2. Tiffany – Heart Lock Pendant
Who wouldn’t enjoy opening a blue box with a white ribbon this Valentine’s Day? Tiffany’s Heart Lock Pendant will make a memorable impression without breaking the bank. Cost: $125 at Tiffany & Co.
3. Beats by Dr. Dre
For him, or her, enjoy these over-the-top and over-the-ear headphones.Perfect for listening to tunes while he’s watching the game, or for him to wear to tune her out and still keep smiling. Cost: $299 at Amazon. Beats Studio by Dr. Dre – Hi-Def Noise-Canceling Over-Ear Headphones,Red
4. Rescue Me Tote
Shouldn’t your four-legged loyal puppy be celebrating Valentine’s this year? Even if you’re pet-less, you’ll love this foxy feline Rescue Me Tote in pink, white, or red. Shop or dine in style while keeping your puppy happy. It gives a whole new meaning to puppy love. The signature paw-ware purse feet are too adorable for words. Cost $209.95 JCLA
5. Little Black Book of Big Red Flags
Sure, I’m friend with the authors, but it’s only because they wrote this awesome book. A great gift to give to your single girlfriends instead of staying home and male bashing alone.The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted… But Chose to Ignore
6. Devil Made Me Do It Body Polish
Toss out the calories this Valentine’s and instead, indulge yourself with this chocoholic’s dream come true body scrub. The Devil Scrub exfoliates, softens, moisturizes and leaves your skin healthy, smooth and silky while emitting a beautiful and tantalizing aroma. Devilish indeed and only $12.50 at
KleanSpa.
7. Scarlet Fever Pochette
Designed by Deborah Sawaf, recipient of Fashion International Group’s Rising Star award, the Phone Pochette features a single chain with a leather shoulder strap for your iPhone, credit cards, and keys. He’ll be happy you won’t be hauling a suitcase as a purse on date nights. Cost: $120 ThaleBlanc.com
8. My Heart Will….Compass
This brings new meaning to “Lost Without Your Love,” not. No matter where your sweetie travels, let him or her know you’ll be there when they come home with this fine pewter heart compass. One side carries the sentiment “my heart will guide you home,” the other side holds a compass. Cost $18.00. My Heart Will… Pocket Compass
9. Hanky Panky Thongs
Warning: This gift is for you to give to your guy for Valentine’s Day. Forget ties and cufflinks, oh so boring.
Give him the Hanky Panky Signature Lace Low Rise Thong 5-Pack Panty set an I.O.U. card, and he’ll be dreaming about your for days to come.
Cost: $90. Bare Essentials.
10. 15 Magic Minutes
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
*Some of the items in our Valentine’s Gift Guide may be a part of an affiliate program.
Top 10 Best Cities for Dating
Wondering if you should stay put or change your zip code on your online dating profile to cast a wider net? Yahoo Travel has released their Top 10 Best Cities for single daters in time for Valentine’s Day.
California was the only state with two winners, including San Francisco and San Diego. One can only hope that you’ll take the romantic drive up or down the coast and stop in Los Angeles to take in the new art contemporary buildings at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art.
The Top 10 Best Cities for Dating includes:
Austin
Home of the University of Texas and the SXSW Interactive Conference, music lovers will enjoy walking up and down 6th Street holding hands with their date.
Boston
This college-friendly town is filled with intellects from Harvard and MIT for stimulation conversations.
Chicago
This town screams culture and sophistication. Men are chivalrous and your date will most likely best well-dressed for the occasion.
Miami
From trendy South Beach to sunshine year-round, you’ll feel like you’re on vacation while dating in this town. No passport required.
New Orleans
Can I admit that one of my most romantic business trips ever was in the arms of the man I loved in New Orleans. Yes, we did the carriage ride and ate beignets at Cafe du Monde. I wonder if he still remembers it as well? You’ll feel like you’re on a movie set with your date.
New York City
I’ve been known to change my zip code to a New York city address a week before my business trips to the Big Apple. From culture and museums, to Broadway shows, this list would not be complete without New York on the list.
Phoenix and Scottsdale
I have fond memories of a romantic Valentine’s weekend in Phoenix, complete with spa treatments, a golf lesson, and fine dining. In season, the weather can’t be beat.
San Francisco
This city has been compared as the New York of California. Known for high-tech and culture, who wouldn’t want to take a picture of the Golden Gate Bridge with your date? The added bonus is it’s a quick drive to Napa and Carmel, so take in a wine tasting while you’re there.
Seattle
I was surprised this city was on the list, but if you schedule your trip during the SeaFair festival, it’s one of the highlights on their event calendar.
Do you have a favorite romantic city? Is your city on this list? Share us your romantic dates with us on our Facebook page.
Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert, bestselling author, and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt . Follow Julie @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Dating Advice – Help! I’m Over 50, Divorced and Shy
Dear Julie,
I am stuck. I am 51-year old female who’s only had about 3 dates since my divorce 5 years ago.I am reasonably attractive, personable smart, intelligent and a good listener–but am very shy about putting myself out there again.
However, I lack confidence in my ability to attract a man.
I recently relocated back to my hometown after being gone for 20 years–and well, everyone is married.
I was one of the many displaced in the recession and have been searching for work–with limited success–for a while now and keep thinking I need to get that part of my life settled before I date. Is that true?
Where does the over-50 crowd go to find dates with someone young at heart? I don’t drink so don’t spend much time in bars.
Signed Lonely in MKE
Dear Lonely in MKE,
I know how frustrating this is to have to start life over and start dating after a divorce. You’re back in your old city, but with a whole new group of rules. It’s hard when your friends are all married and think in even numbers.
First, the good news, is there are more avenues to meet quality single men when your friends aren’t fixing you up anymore. Just this week a research study was released showing that online dating is now the second most popular way to meet singles, after personal introductions from friends and friends-of-friends.
Second, since you’re the new kid back in town, and you should be asking everyone to fix you up. Don’t get frustrated when you hear they don’t know anyone. Keep asking. My mother always told me that good men become available, either when their wives or girlfriends don’t appreciate them, or if they lose a spouse to death. These guys don’t stay available for too long. There’s always a window for them and they do want to reconnect and not be alone.
Third, yes, you need to find a job now, but think about casting a wide net while you’re looking for your dream job. While you’re meeting people and talking to potential companies, you might be making a new friend, meeting interesting co-workers, or even find someone to introduce you to a friend of theirs. You need to expand your social and business network outside of just your married friends, and there’s no better way to do than than online.
I speak with men all the time over 50. Boomer dating is growing in popularity. They are just as frustrated as you are. A recent Match study on Singles in America, showed that men have a strong desire for a serious and intimate relationship as they get older. With Valentine’s around the corner, singles really are looking to connect, and for meaningful relationships. So, grab your computer, log onto an online dating site and create your profile. You’ll be listed as “new” and will get more men looking at your profile. Don’t be afraid to initiate contact. Look at who has viewed your profile and reach out and say hello.
Wishing you much love in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie
Do you have a dating question? Newly single? Send us your online dating questions and find out about our dating coaching programs and Irresistible Online Dating Profiles.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice, Sign up for our Weekly Flirt, Like us on Facebook and Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
5 Ways to Look and Feel Red Hot on Valentine’s Day
Wondering if you should wear red or pink this Valentine’s Day? I’m a firm believer that red the perfect color to wear year-round for your online dating profile, as well as on a first date. But don’t take my word for it. I reached out to Image Consultant Kimberly Seltzer, who agreed, it’s best to be the Lady in Red this Valentine’s Day. Kimberly compares Valentine’s outfits to Halloween for a little bit of fun.
“Both holidays give you a chance to dress up and perhaps wear something a little risqué that you perhaps wouldn’t normally wear,” says Kimberly. “No matter if you are celebrating with your man, going out with your girlfriends to attract a new one or just pampering yourself on Valentine’s Day, put on something that makes you feel special, alive and sexy.” Seltzer encourages singles and women in a relationship to put on their little black dress, throw on a pair of high heels and pile on the vanilla-flavored lip-gloss.
Here are Kimberly’s 5 easy red-hot tips that will surely shoot an arrow right into any man’s heart.
1. Feel Sexy—What men find sexy in a woman is when she herself feels sexy. Men notice your sexual confidence in the way you dress, walk, move your body and smile. Wear something that makes you feel sexy and sensual. So put on a dress that you feel confident and a little daring in. This doesn’t mean you have to show your mid-drift or fall out of your dress. Guys would much rather undress you with their eyes and leave things to the imagination than display it all right there. Part of being sexy is leaving them with a sense of intrigue and curiosity. If you give it all away to them, they may not have the desire to want more. For example, wear a fitted red dress that shows your curves and just teases the man with a low cut-out back. Or perhaps you want to go more casual and sport a leather jacket with a lacy cami peeking through.
Use fabrics that are great against your skin and touchable. Cashmere, silky satin, and buttery soft suedes are the real scene-stealers. Touchable fabrics not only invite another’s touch, they have the added bonus of feeling great against your skin so you feel pampered and sexy. Find fun and unique ways to express your sensuality!
2. Dress Feminine—Men absolutely love a soft womanly touch. A dress, skirt and heels can make any man’s heart skip a beat. Display your feminine sexuality with flowing hair or an attractive hairdo, nice nails, makeup and discreet displays of bare skin, plus colorful clothes and jewelry that are eye-catching signs of femininity. And ladies, no corporate blazers please! Your dress should be flirty, flowy and gorgeous. Perhaps it is romantic and completely easy like a soft silk in a red and off-white combination. Or maybe it is a tight fitted LBD worn with sleek patent red pumps. And while you are at it, remember to laugh, smile, create softness and be light and open on your date with your man. He’ll appreciate your receptive and delicate attitude and style.
3. Wear Heels—A man will love the way you move in a pair of high heels. There are three reasons why men’s jaw drop when you slip on the stilettos. They love the way the shoes make your legs look, how they make you walk and move your body and how it exudes femininity. Find the perfect footwear to go with that Valentine’s dress. Think sexy, strappy, sparkly and high! Feel a little unsteady in the skyscrapers? Try a pair of platforms with a thicker heel to give you more support.
4. Smell Amazing—Explore a new signature fragrance that captures your man’s attention. Several studies show that vanilla-flavored perfumes can intoxicate his senses. But perhaps he prefers something a little fresh and floral with a hint of citrus. Notice those fragrances that get a reaction and go with it! You might also want to try a new body lotion to put all over your body in unexpected places.
5. Be Daring and Add A Surprise—If you have been with your beau for a while, most likely there is an element of monotony in your relationship and in the way you dress. Even if you are going out with your girlfriends or you are with a new man, it’s important to infuse a little variety in your life which can help you give off new and exciting energy. Spice things up by wearing something a little different for you. Perhaps you secretly wear a new red lacy thong with a matching bra under your Valentine’s dress. Or nothing attracts attention quite like a hat. First, it takes guts to wear one. Second, it takes panache to carry it off. Combine the two qualities and you get major sex appeal.
Whatever you decide to wear, enhancing and focusing on your Valentine attitude and your wardrobe will boost the way you feel about yourself, thus boosting your chances for love on this special day.
Visit Kimberly at www.eliteimagemakeovers.com for a complete dating image consultation.
Science or Luck – The Great Online Dating Debate
By now you’ve probably heard the good news. Online Dating has officially lost its stigma and now ranks second in the U.S. for matchmaking. Whether you’ve met your dream date or spouse by answering 250 questions on eHarmony or answered some intimate questions on OkCupid, one thing’s for sure, online dating is no longer for the socially challenged. It’s here to stay and is now residing primarily on your mobile phone or iPad.
A group of 5 researchers collected data on the subject to be published in the February issue of the Journal for the Association of Psychological Science. These experts claim that these dating algorithms are nonsense. The report claims that online dating encourages a “shopping mentality” and that singles are getting too picky with too many choices. Do you agree? Is it just the luck of the draw, or is there some magic to the proprietary methods Internet dating sites use to keep you engaged and active on their site?
Dating algorithms and scientific matching were a subject of heated panel at the recent Internet Dating Conference in Miami, where Dr. Eli J. Finkel, the study’s lead author and an associate professor of social psychology at Northwestern University, said there was no science behind the algorithms. OkCupid’s CEO and co-founder Sam Yagan and Dr. Pepper Schwartz, professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle, who created the Personality Profiler for online dating site Perfect Match, vehemently disagreed. The sites stood by their list of questions to help singles meet better matches, whether through math or science.
At the end of the digital day, online dating has become social dating, and it’s not going away anytime soon.
How do you feel about personality profiles on Chemistry, Perfect Match, and eHarmony.com? Do you believe you’ll get better matches? Are you finding it hard to commit with too many choices in your inbox?
Your comments are welcome and appreciated.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice and follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
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