Advice – 5 Reasons Your Online Dating Inbox is Empty
When singles initially sign up for an online dating site, they tend to think it will be smooth sailing. They expect to check their in-box the next day and see it full of messages from attractive, successful singles who are excited to meet them. Unfortunately, it’s not always a perfect world. Some online daters spend hours perfecting their profiles and uploading their best photos; yet still feel disappointed at the lack of emails.
Here are five surprising reasons from our friends at We Love Dates, as to why you might not be getting enough email messages online.
1. Your profile is like a laundry list.
While it’s a good idea to be specific about what you’re looking for, if you use your profile as a checklist of the qualities a date must absolutely have, you’re likely to run the risk of appearing too picky.
Online dating is a two-way street. Rather than just stating what you’re looking for, let someone know what you can bring to the relationship. If you’re describing a perfect person who doesn’t exist, those reading your profile will assume they’ll fall short and will move on to another pretty face.
2. Your photos are inconsistent.
It’s so important to upload photos that show how you look today, not those from the hot trend five years ago. Even if you think you looked better last decade, those photos are not an accurate reflection of how you appear today. Singles will check out your Facebook profile to see if you dating profile resembles the real you. Looking different in each photo will cause confusion and he’ll be quick to hit “next.
3. You’re too negative.
Dating can be extremely difficult, but your online dating profile isn’t the place to air your grievances about your ex boyfriend or about not getting your spousal support check. Being negative in your profile shows that you’re potentially not over past experiences that have hurt you, or are a real life “Debbie or Donnie Downer.” Both of these qualities are not attractive. Plus, if you complain so publicly about your dating life, a date might worry about what’s next on your complaint list. He may have just run away from a nagging girlfriend or wife and doesn’t want a repeat performance. Try to remain positive and be more like the person you’d actually want to date.
4. Your profile is filled with typos and incorrect grammar.
When your profile is a mess grammatically, it tells the world that you haven’t put very much effort into the process. Simply put, it’s far from irresistible. If you wouldn’t dream of posting a Linkedin profile with typos and bad grammar, know that your dream date wouldn’t consider you as a likely prospect for love either. It’s not necessary to be an award-winning essayist, but using spell-check goes a long way to make a good first digital impression. Take it a step further and ask a friend to proofread your profile to catch any errors you might have missed. Your profile is the first glance you’re giving potential dates, so invest the time and energy to make it the best it can be.
5. You’re on the wrong dating site.
There are over 1500 online dating sites, with new ones popping up every week. Online dating sites aren’t one-size fits all. If you find that one particular site isn’t working out for you, don’t give up on online dating completely. Find another site with more members or try a niche site based upon your unique interests. The menu of online dating sites caters to specific religions, activities or ages, and can also be divided based upon casual dating or finding a serious relationship or marriage. There are plenty of success stories in our Cyber Love Story of the Week from a variety of dating sites. Experiment and find out what online dating sites work for you.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. As the top digital matchmaker, Julie creates irresistible online dating profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt Newsletter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
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