When our friends at YourTango asked me to chime in on the latest Brigham Young University survey, which shows that texting can harm romantic relationships, it was an honor to share the reasons that texting can both enhance your love life, as well as send you to the digital doghouse in a New York minute.
It’s true that I’ve never seen an argument via text have a happy ending. When the anger brews and escalates, usually a long-winded text message won’t resolve relationship conflicts. This reactionary behavior puts you in a digital war-zone. When you send text messages back and forth, you don’t hear the sound of someone’s voice. Therefore, you can’t know how upset they really are.
Here are 5 Text Messages that you should think about, before pushing the send button.
“We need to talk.” Men dread hearing those four words. Don’t be surprised if your guy or significant other disappears for a few days. Don’t start a conversation with this one-liner, as your relationship might go south fast. You’ll either receive a negative response, or none at all.
“I’m sorry.” Should you apologize over text? When someone says ‘I’m sorry’ over a text message, the recipient isn’t really sure how sorry they are. It can be taken as a way to end the uncomfortable text exchange, but how sincere is the apology? You really aren’t sure and they aren’t as valued as an in-person or on-the-phone apology where it can be a two-way dialog.
“It’s over.” Who breaks up in a text message? Apparently many do so. If you’re not feeling it for him or her anymore, don’t disappear and don’t send a text. who wants to go on record as the one who dumped their significant other in a text message? Pick up the phone if you think there’s trouble in paradise. Chances are you’ll be able to salvage your relationship.
Texts To Definitely Send
The Brigham Young University research team found that affectionate loving texts can result in a happier message. I tend to agree.
“Thinking of you … have a great day!” Who wouldn’t want to wake up to this good morning text? It starts both of your days off right: with love.
“Can’t wait to see you tonight. XO.” Receiving a text like this lets your sweetheart know that he or she is loved. It’s also great digital foreplay on date night to get both of you in the mood.
Remember, once you push the send button, you can’t take it back. You’re creating a permanent digital footprint and your temporary moment of digital insantiy might be shared with his or her friends to confirm that you are indeed crazy. If you must vent, send yourself an email describing exactly how angry you’re feeling, but do not, I repeat, do not send it. Try sleeping on it and revisiting it in the morning.
Relationships can be complicated and sometimes we catastrophize about our love lives. If your boyfriend or girlfriend misses calling you one night, he or she may have just fallen asleep on the sofa…..alone, and not in the arms of another.
Have you ever sent a text that you’ve regretted?
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of Cyber Dating Expert. Julie was an early adopter of the Internet and writes about the marriage of love and technology. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for our free Weekly Flirt and find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.
Digital wedding bells were ringing at the Social Media Wedding of the year of our favorite Tweethearts, Marsha Collier and Curt Buthman.
Marsha and Curt once again made social media history on November 8, 2013 at the Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills, CA, where they tied the digital knot to the crowdsourced Twitter hashtag of #MarshaandCurtWedding.
This wedding was the first-ever where a Bride walked down the aisle wearing Google Glass to capture both video and photos of the ceremony. As the couple said their marriage vows, again they recorded yet another social media first, where they captured their “I Do’s” in a six second Twitter vine video for their friends and followers to enjoy as they followed the digital festivities.
It was an honor and joy to share this beautiful day with my friends and to share this social media love story with you.
So how did this Twitter love all begin?
As the author of over 40 books, host of the #custserv chat on Twitter, and named by Forbes as one of the Top 10 Women Social Media Influencers, when it came to her love life, there was no doubt that she’d attract a handsome man with her social media presence.
The couple, both social media enthusiasts, originally started following each other as friends on Twitter in 2009. As I sat with them in the Bridal suite before the wedding ceremony, they shared their favorite Twitter moments with me.
“One day I was stumped as to how to change a lightbulb,” said Marsha. “I turned to the twitterverse and asked, ‘Can anyone help me? Is there an electrician out there?’” Curt came to her rescue and send her a private message and their friendship turned into a digital crush.
Marsha had the opportunity to return the favor. Curt recalls sending out a tweet, which said, “I need 5 more people on Facebook to get my Vanity URL.” Marsha tweeted back with, “And now you need 4 more.”
The two eventually met in person (IRL) at BlogWorld, the world’s largest social media conference, where Marsha, author of over 40 books, was autographing copies of two of her books, eBay For Dummies and Facebook and Twitter For Seniors For Dummies at the Wiley booth.
The rest is Twitter history. Their crush turned into a digital romantic journey, complete with the first Twitter vine video marriage proposal in May of 2013.
It was no surprise that their wedding ceremony would be filled with a few more social media firsts…The first Google Glass bride and the first Twitter vine video marriage vows. As Marsha was selected to be one of Google’s exclusive “Glass Explorers” and is the co-host of the Computer and Technology radio show, she couldn’t resist the urge to continue to be a leader in technology on her wedding day.
In an elegant wedding to remember, the Bride was walked down the aisle by her first cousin, British Army Colonel Simon Goldstein MBE. She was wearing a vintage A-line bridal gown she selected from Unique Vintage in Burbank, CA. As the dress was a few sizes to large for her, she had it completely custom fit and added a pocket to carry her Samsung Galaxy Note 2 phone and lipstick.
“A bride needs a pocket,” said Collier during my conversation with her in the Bridal Suite. Her shoes were purchased on eBay. “Why spend money on shoes that you’d never wear again?”
Social media friends were snapping photos throughout the evening and posting to Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Google+. The service was officiated by social media friend Jeff Rago and the Bride’s daughter Susan Dickman was the Maid-of-Honor.
As expected, their wedding hashtag of #marshaandcurtwedding became a trending topic on Twitter.
At the end of the digital day, Curt admitted he was attracted to Marsha’s Twitter profile photo when he started following her. Need I say more? It’s all about the profile photos.
Photo Credits: Josh “CuriousJosh” Reiss
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
One day, she decided to turn to online dating and joined Match.com.
“It was the summer of 2011 when I joined Match,” explains Becky.
“I tried Match because I guess….after so many years of not being in the dating world, I figured that would be the best way to meet people.”
Becky had a few dates, but they weren’t her cup of tea.
Then in October of 2011, she started communicating with Philip. Phil had been single for over 10 years before meeting Becky.
After talking via email and phone for a week or so, the two agreed to meet for a late lunch on October 13 at Pappy & Harriett’s.
“It was so much fun,” explains Becky. “We just kept talking and laughing, and talking and laughing, and he took me for a ride on his motorcycle. Five hours later we had a hard time parting ways, wanting to spend more time together. But we did say good-bye for the night.”
The next morning Philip emailed Becky and said…”You definitely have my attention”. We have been together ever since, splitting time
between both Becky and Philip’s homes.
When I saw Becky and Phil, they were celebrating their 2-year anniversary and couldn’t stop saying “I love you” to each other.
Congratulations to Becky and Philip, who prove you can start your life all over again while looking for love online.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles and Online Dating BootCamp programs.
Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt.
Did you know that 39% of engagement ring purchases occur between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day?
Before you go out and buy that diamond ring she’s been dreaming of, if you’re one of the many online dating couples who have found love on Match.com, you just may be in luck.
Our friends at Match.com have just announced a contest to help you “Pop the Question” in style worth over $15,000. Complete with a diamond engagement ring from Robbins Brothers, a custom-designed proposal plan from The Proposal Planner (TM) and wedding expert Sarah Pease, and a videographer to professionally capture your proposal, you’ll have an engagement to remember.
“Creating personalized proposals for couples that they will never forget is a dream come true,” said Sarah Pease. “I’m looking forward to collaborating with and celebrating Match.com’s success by creating the next proposal sensation for one lucky couple.”
Success couples who met on Match can enter from November 4, 2013 through November 22, 2013 at www.metonmatch.com. and and answer the question,
“Why does your match deserve the ultimate proposal?”
For over five years, Match.com’s has ranked the highest of our success stories in our Cyber Love Story of the Week feature. It’s been an honor and joy to help many singles find love on their online dating site. If you have any friends who’ve met on Match and are thinking of getting engaged, forward them these details.
Note: Entries will be judged by a panel of experts based on each submission’s creativity and the human interest value of the couple’s story.
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED. Only open to continental US residents age 18+ as of entry date. Sponsor: Match.com, L.L.C., 8300 Douglas Ave., Suite 800, Dallas, TX 75225. Contest runs from 12:00 A.M. (CST) on November 4, 2013 through 11:59 P.M. (CST) on November 22, 2013. Aggregate retail value of prizes: $15,500.
Photo credit: Fotolia
With the theme of “The Best is Yet to Come,” I spent the afternoon in the Trophy Lounge, along with Celebrity Ambassadors Bo Derek, The Hunger Games’ Elizabeth Banks, and John Ortiz, who played the horseracing fanatic “Turo Escalante” in the HBO series Luck.
Women were dressed in a variety of hats and fascinators, many of which were designed by Christine A. Moore, the Official Milliner Of The 2013 Breeders’ Cup. Christine was kind enough to personally select a fascinator to go with my Armani dress, which even received a thumbs up from Elizabeth Banks.
Musical performers Kristin Chenoweth and Richie Sambora were on hand. Kristin laughed as we spoke on the Purple Carpet, as she admitted she was a “Runaway Bride,” not once, but twice. Kristin, with her new pixie haircut, appropriately selected the “Game on Dude” sign for her photo in the Twitter booth. Richie and I talked about growing up in New Jersey and shared which exits we both lived at. He was thrilled to have been selected to do the first guitar version of the “Call to Arms” as part of the ceremony.
From purple outfits to extravagant hats and an even more extravagant $25 million purse, Los Angeles was proud to host the Breeders’ Cup this year. Next year, the Breeders’ Cup will also take place at Santa Anita Racetrak, starting on Halloween. Will there be more orange outfits next year? Perhaps we’ll be able to say, “Orange is the new Purple.
Photo credits: Society News LA Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter