Science or Luck – The Great Online Dating Debate
Feb 6th
By now you’ve probably heard the good news. Online Dating has officially lost its stigma and now ranks second in the U.S. for matchmaking. Whether you’ve met your dream date or spouse by answering 250 questions on eHarmony or answered some intimate questions on OkCupid, one thing’s for sure, online dating is no longer for the socially challenged. It’s here to stay and is now residing primarily on your mobile phone or iPad.
A group of 5 researchers collected data on the subject and claim that these dating algorithms are nonsense. The report claims that online dating encourages a “shopping mentality” and that singles are getting too picky with too many choices. Do you agree? Is it just the luck of the draw, or is there some magic to the proprietary methods Internet dating sites use to keep you engaged and active on their site?
Dating algorithms and scientific matching were a subject of heated panel at the recent Internet Dating Conference in Miami, where Dr. Eli J. Finkel, the study’s lead author and an associate professor of social psychology at Northwestern University, said there was no science behind the algorithms. OkCupid’s CEO and co-founder Sam Yagan and Dr. Pepper Schwartz, professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle, who created the Personality Profiler for online dating site Perfect Match, vehemently disagreed. The sites stood by their list of questions to help singles meet better matches, whether through math or science.
At the end of the digital day, online dating has become social dating, and it’s not going away anytime soon.
How do you feel about personality profiles on Chemistry, Perfect Match, and eHarmony.com? Do you believe you’ll get better matches? Are you finding it hard to commit with too many choices in your inbox?
Your comments are welcome and appreciated.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice and follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Will All the Men Online Stop Frowning? Online Dating Profiles [Infographic]
Feb 4th
We sure love these Infographics, especially when it comes to matters of the heart and online dating.
The Truth About Online Dating created a fun one for Valentine’s Day with statistics about Online Dating: Men vs. Women, by grabbing statistics from OkCupid and Wikipedia
Are you surprised at these results? Men lie three times as much as women about their relationship status, age, and real last names on a first date.
In addition, 50% of men didn’t smile on their online dating profiles? What’s up guys? Women want to see a happy man just as much as you’d like to see a confident smiling woman.
Full post @The Truth About Online Dating
Super Bowl or Valentine’s – What’s Your Fancy?
Feb 3rd
As we’re counting down to Super Bowl Sunday in Indianapolis, whether you’re rooting for the New York Giants or the New England Patriots, one thing is for sure. It’s going to be an emotional and exciting 9 days for both men and women alike. Do men hate Valentine’s? Do women love the Super Bowl halftime show?
I’ve gone on record as saying the Valentine’s Day for Women is like the Super Bowl for Men. In my article on eHarmony Advice, I give the comparison on these two events in early February. I hope you enjoy the article and learn why the opposite sex feels the way they do. It’s a double-header this month, so enjoy the ride.
Meanwhile, our friends at Zoosk just released their second annual Super Bowl survey of 1000 single women to find out they really do enjoy watching the game. So instead of a guys-only day, bring your date as their poll showed that 66% of females think that watching the game is the best part, as compared to 20% who only watched the commercials. Meanwhile only 14% of women tune in for the halftime show.
So go ahead and accept that Super Bowl party invitation. If you’re single, you just might find a date in time for Valentine’s as well. It’s a win-win for everyone. If you need help with your profile or online dating advice, our special 15 Magic Minutes is going on through Valentine’s Day.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice sign up for our Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Match Singles Study Says: Romance is Up; Marriage is Down
Feb 2nd
Our friends at Match.com released their second annual Singles in America Study, showing that more men are in favor of committed relationships and public displays of affection than their female counterparts. This is good news as it breaks the stereotype and fear from women who are afraid to bring up the subject of commitment and monogamy while dating.
But how far do both single men and women want to go? The study encompassed over 5000 singles with the help of Dr. Helen Fisher, Chemistry.com’s chief scientific officer and biological anthropologist, and took a deep look into politics, weight, height, and which political party is having more fun in the bedroom. (Hint: It starts with the letter R)
The majority of the singles in the study said they wanted to be in a committed relationship, and believed that infidelity was a deal-breaker. Yes, even the guys are ready to go steady. However marriage wasn’t a priority. USA Today reports that two-thirds of the singles polled either don’t want to get married, or are unsure about it.
At the end of the digital day, changing your status to “In a Relationship” on Facebook is getting closer-and-closer to how we used to define marriage.
Are you looking for a relationship leading to marriage or would you prefer being in a committed relationship or just living together?
Your thoughts and comments are welcome.
Interested in finding love online? Sign up for Match.com for 20% off your membership or Chemistry.com, where they are offering 14 days free.
Need some help with your online dating profile? Check out our irresistible profiles packages and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert for special offers.
Valentine’s Day Dating Dos and Don’ts
Feb 1st
Now that it’s February, Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. I’ve always said that Valentine’s Day for a woman is like the Super Bowl for men, so pick up some red candy hearts, grab your lipstick, and read our 10 tips to prepare for the Super Bowl of Love, Valentine’s Day.
1. Do discuss Valentine’s Day with the person you are dating. If one of you loves the holiday and the other can’t bear it, come up with a compromise. Valentine’s is on a Tuesday this year. Pick a night for a romantic dinner in between the Super Bowl and Valentine’s and avoid the high-priced dining reservations.
2. Don’t wait until the week before to ask her to spend the Valentine’s with you. If you are dating someone special and you know for sure you’d like her to be your Valentine, ask her out at least two weeks in advance.
3. Do make a dinner reservation for February 14th, even if you’re dateless on February 1st. Go ahead and reserve a table and be open to the possibilities. You can always cancel the reservation when it gets closer to Valentine’s Day, if you haven’t already developed a new crush during crunch time.
4. Don’t ask her out for Valentine’s Day in an email or a text message. This is the time for you to either pick up the phone and call or better yet, ask her in person if your relationship is going well.
5. Do try in-room dining this year. Light some candles, cook up a simple meal in the kitchen together and look forward to a steamy dessert.
6. Don’t go overboard with flowers. It’s the thought that counts. Stop by your local grocery story and pick up one long stemmed rose. It has the same impact as the full dozen and is 1/12th the price.
7. Do accept invitations for Valentine’s dances and parties the weekend before February 14th if you’re single. You won’t feel alone with so many other singles in a fun and flirty setting. Wear pink or red for the occasion and say yes if someone asks you to be his or her Valentine. You may not fall in love with your Valentine, but you might just find a new loyal friend.
8. Don’t make gift giving too much pressure. You may still be paying off your credit card bill from the holidays. A card, a hug, and some lingerie and massage oils will make a memorable evening and won’t break the bank.
10. Do wake up in the morning and wish your loved one a Happy Valentine’s Day in a voicemail, email, or text message to let them know that you’re looking forward to spending the evening together. If you’re friends on Facebook and have posted your status as “In a Relationship,” take it a step further and wish them a Happy Valentine’s Day on their wall.
9. Don’t be blue if you can’t be with your sweetheart on Valentine’s Day. Schedule a SKYPE date, wear red, put on your lipstick, and flirt the night away with your long distance love.
Do you look forward to or dread Valentine’s Day? We’d like to hear your comments.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt and Like us at Facebook. Follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira
Dating Advice – How Do I Know if He Likes Me?
Jan 30th
Cyber-Dating Expert
This scene may sound familiar. You meet a guy and have an instant connection. You start flirting back and forth and the next thing you know, you’re wondering, Are we in a relationship? Are the feelings mutual?
When Deb wrote to me with this familiar scenario after sending multiple flirty text messages to each the new man she had a crush on, she was concerned that things were moving too quickly. Was she becoming too attached?
Deb now wonders if her new guy is a player as he was also flirting with other women. She became anxious about the situation. Now her dream guy is sending her emails and text messages saying that he loves her. Even more confused, she called him out on his flirtatious behavior, of which he replied, “I get it.” Should she move forward with this guy? What should she do?
Well Deb, some people are born flirts. Instant chemistry is rare and when we find it, we automatically fast-forward our feelings and start thinking about our relationship, our future, marriage, children, the works. But slow down Deb. Why is this guy who’s texting you with love notes flirting with others in the same sentence as he uses the “L” word so freely. Just how many other women does he say that to? Is he waiting to hear it back to feed his ego or is he sincere?
A man who is committed to being in a relationship with you isn’t going to screw it up by making you jealous and putting himself in the position of being discarded, with his phone number permanently deleted on your iPhone and in your heart.
What should you do? Play the field. Yes. There’s no ring on your finger, and hopefully you haven’t been intimate yet. Don’t confuse love with lust. While your emotions and hormones are running at high speed, you don’t know his intentions other than he’s that instant chemistry guy, which can be dangerous. I know this first hand, as I wrote about it in my book The Perils of Cyber-Dating, when I too, had that instant chemistry with a guy I met. It turned out that he was a major player, and just like the Fleetwood Mac song, Dreams, I’ll hum the line, “Players on love you when they’re playing.” It’s a game that can leave you feeling empty and alone.
My advice is simply, to take it slow. Date other men. Don’t sleep with this chemistry guy. Have fun flirting here and there, but don’t assume you’re in a relationship. Some relationships that start off hot-and-heavy, end just as quickly.
Hopefully your guy is different. Perhaps he’s just nervous. Texting can’t replace quality time in person. Take a look at my latest YourTango Experts video, where I address the texting issue in a relationship. Time will tell if your guy is for real and time is a precious gift.
Keep me posted.
Wishing you much love and happiness.
Julie
Do you have a question for Julie Spira? Send your dating and relationship questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact and sign up for our Weekly Flirt.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Follow her @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
VIDEO – Is Texting Preventing You From Dating In Real Life?
Jan 29th
You’ve met that someone special and have great online chemistry. Watch our video to learn the right time to take your relationship from online to offline.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and online dating expert. Click here for more video dating advice and connect with us on Twitter @JulieSpira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
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New Online Dating Site Hitch.me Mixes Business With Pleasure
Jan 17th
Do you believe that LinkedIn profiles are more accurate than most online dating profiles? If so, you’re not alone. On Friday the 13th, Hitch.me was officially launched using LinkedIn profiles as the basis for their site’s algorithms.
I had the opportunity to interview Hitch.me founder Navid Nadir, who is happily married with two children. Nadir has a degree in computer engineering from Queens University in Kingston, Canada and although he isn’t interested in finding love online, both he and his wife have single friends who were frustrated with the process.
Nadir believes that over 50% of online dating profiles are fabricated. Nadir said, “If you want to date someone, why lie?” That’s a question that many single daters struggle with as they hope there’s truth-in-advertising when viewing online dating profiles.
Nadir added, “It’s not just another niche site. It’s a niche site that is in demand. This is something we have been waiting for a long time. You can actually search for a profile based upon a skill-set, find someone based on specific industries, and search within groups that you are a member of on LinkedIn.”
The site is simple to use and there are no monthly fees.
Hitch.me members purchase credits in a pay-as-you-go format. Their 3 levels are:
- Beginner: $10 for 500 credits
- So Much for So Less: $25 for 2000 credits
- Guaranteed Satisfaction: $50 for 4000 credits
So how does the credit system work?
For 20 credits, you get just a “smile.” It’s their way of flirting.
For 50 credits, you get a “pitch,” the opportunity to send a 200 word email to the object-of-your-affection.
For 100 credits, Private Presentation: 100 credits. Can add youtube videos and images, 500 words and can add 3 images and one youtube video.
Does the site mix business with pleasure? Only if you want it to. You can select from finding a casual date, soulmate, friend, or a business partner.
For a limited time period, they are offering 200 free credits as they build their membership base. Click here to get started on Hitch.me
Do you believe LinkedIn profiles are more accurate than online dating profiles? Your comments are always welcome.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com and Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert for dating advice and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
The Love Issue – Online Dating Dos and Dont’s
Jan 17th
Fashion magazine is celebrating with a very special February issue devoted to love. With Valentine’s Day just a few weeks away, I was asked to contribute to their article, Love Among the Laptops.
In this in-depth article, we looked at Facebook, Twitter, BlackBerry Messenger, Google searches, and the high-digital pressure act of friending and unfriending someone you’re dating.
Read how to deal with the new challenges posed by dating in the online age. An excerpt from the article is below.
With appreciation, many thanks to Siofan Davies for quoting me in the story, along with Sherrie Schneider, co-author of the famous relationship book, The Rules and follow-up, The Rules for Online Dating.
Julie Spira, the L.A.-based author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online says the urge to research a prospective date is natural. “Do a Google search, make sure they work where they say they work and that there’ nothing bad about them,” she begins. This is sensible advice my mother would appreciate. “We also want to make sure their Facebook photos match their online dating photos, and find out if we have any friends in common. The next thing would be, well, let’s friend each other.” Her reasoning. Well no, don’t friend each other. ” Her reasoning: Just as you will be mining his profile for useful or petty information, he will undoubtedly be mining yours. “You still want someone to get to know you,” says Spira. “If everything they get to know about you is because they saw it on Facebook, what’s left to talk about?”
For the full article, pick up a copy of Fashion magazine, Canada’s number 1 beauty and fashion magazine, where you’ll find the story on pages 81-86. If you aren’t in Canada, I’ve attached the .pdf of the article here: Fashion Magazine – Love Among the Laptops. As always, comments are welcome.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert, bestselling author, and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. For more dating advice follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira and like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Chemistry’s Top 10 Cities to Find a Sensitive Man
Jan 12th
Are you ready to change your zip code to find love online?
Our friends at Chemistry.com have announced their Top 10 list of cities where you’re more likely to find a sensitive man.
Most of the cities on the list are on the east coast, except for Nashville, Indianapolis, and West Hollywood.
Dr. Helen Fisher, Chemistry’s Chief Scientific Officer and a former featured guest on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show said, ”Men do have a sensitive side.” Fisher added, ‘They want to please. They want to do the “right” thing.
The Top 10 list includes:
1. Popmano Beach, FL
2. Roanoke, VA
3. West Hollywood, CA
4. Nashville, TN
5. Buffalo, NY
6. Sarasota, FL
7. Greenville, SC
8. Wilmington, NC
9. Indianapolis, IN
10. Staten Island, NY
Ready to dive in and find a sensitive man? Click here to sign up and remember to share your online dating stories at CyberDatingExpert.com.
Chemistry.com Free Communication Weekend 1/13 – 1/15
Full article @Chemistry Blog
