As an early adopter of Internet dating and as an Online Dating Expert with almost 20 years of writing dating profiles, I’ve helped many Jewish singles find love on JDate. Some fond memories include one couple who gave birth to the first JDate baby, and another who found love by expanding their zip code to include dating in Europe. Many couples who I’ve coached have taken my online dating advice are now happily married or are in long-term exclusive relationships.
I know that cyber dating can be challenging, but there are so many Internet dating success stories that are worth sharing and I look forward to watching all of your marriage proposal videos.
If you’ve met your fiance or spouse on JDate, I invite you to share a video on their Facebook page about your marriage proposal and enter their Top Proposal Contest.
One lucky couple will be treated to on a 7-Day romantic trip to Breezes in the Bahamas. Isn’t it time for a second honeymoon?
Details can be found on their Facebook Page.
Need help with your online dating profile? Visit IrresistibleProfiles.com to learn more on how we can help you find your dream date.
Photo credit: JDate
From checking out his or her Facebook profile, to following your digital crush on Twitter, the conversation is expanding.
So how do social media and love connect online to help you with your love life offline?
Both Jeff Pulver, the 140 Conference creator and my friend Debra Eckerling from Write on Online will be hosting the #140LA13 Mini-Conference: “The Rise of Listening in the Era of Social Media” on Monday, September 23, 2013 from 6:30pm – 9:30pm at Cross Campus at 820 Broadway in Santa Monica, CA.
I’ll be joined on our panel, Romance, Speaking and Hearing from the Heart with Kerianne Mellot, eHarmony’s Social Media Manager and Marni Battista, founder of Dating With Dignity. Together, the three of us will be answering your questions on how we engage with singles using social media and what social media channels we’re finding the most effective.
We’ll address emotional issues such as how much should we reveal on social media about our personal lives, how do we handle those whose hearts are healing and encourage others to be positive during an emotional time.
We do hope you join us at this very special event.
Other sessions in the 140LA 13 mini conference include:
Hosts: Jeff Pulver and Debra Eckerling
- Love, Passion & Chocolate, Ashley Walsh
- Romance, Speaking & Hearing from the Heart, Kerianne Mellott, Julie Spira, Marni Battista
- Engaging Your Community, David Bloom speaking with Catherine Geanuracos about Eric Garcetti’s social campaign strategy
- Transforming Entertainment through Social Media, Steven Swimmer, Jon Cody, Peter Hyoguchi, Mike Rotman
- Paying it Forward, Brian Mac Mahon
The #140conf events provide a platform for individuals and entrepreneurs to listen, connect, share, and engage with each other, while collectively exploring the effects of the emerging real-time internet on business.
Limited tickets can be purchased for $15 at 140confla13-estw.eventbrite.com
She takes the plunge, with a little help from online dating expert and celebrity online dating coach, Julie Spira.
In this segment, Online Dating For Dummies: Guess Who’s The Dummy Is In This Situation? Julie helps Kim, from the Kim Jim & Kim Morning Show on Fresh 102.7 in New York embark on her very first journey into online dating.
Believe it or not, Kim has never tried online dating and co-host Jim, along with producer Craig and myself are going to turn Kim into an Internet dating superstar.
In this segment, we talk about creating Kim’s profile with a catchy screen name. Jim suggested, “DesperationinNYC.” Kim says she’s kitchen impaired and is looking for a guy who will cook her dinner. She admits to sleeping with her two dogs in bed at night, but believes there’s still room for a guy in her life (and bed!)
Kim’s afraid she might scare men off, but she actually likes watching Monday night football.
Listen now to this segment and follow Kim’s progress on Fresh1027.com
In this Episode of the Online Dating Expert BootCamp, Julie Spira critiques Lauren’s emails that she’s sending to potential daters.
Much to her surprise, Lauren’s emails were filled with grammar problems and she started her emails with the word, “Hey.” Julie reminded Lauren that horses hang out in hay, not a marriage-minded single woman from Beverly Hills.
Remember to always use spell check and grammar check on all of your online dating emails and respond in a timely fashion to attract your dream date.
Let’s start with what is a ‘Selfie?’ It’s one of the most popular hashtags on Twitter when someone snaps their own photo with their mobile phone. Usually it’s goofy, a bathroom shot in the mirror, or in the case of Rhianna, a bikini shot or two.
I love technology and there’s no doubt that the iPhone has made cyberdating a whole lot easier and so much more fun.
As the cameras continue to improve on the Samsung Galaxy, iPhones, and other mobile devices, while Instagram remains the favorite social networking photo site du jour, the prevalence of ‘Selfies’ photos are appearing more often on Internet dating profiles.
So who’s posting ‘Selfies’ and are they narcissistic, funny, expected, or a turn-off? Just because celebrities are jumping on the ‘Selfie’ bandwagon, should you?
In a recent Glamour magazine article, a list of 11 turn-offs to men who viewed women’s online dating profiles listed ‘Selfies” twice.
Men felt that posting over ¾ of your profile photos as ‘Selfies’ was a turn-off.
“Just makes me wonder how long you spent in your room taking shots that didn’t make the cut,” one guy claimed.
In addition, the bathroom ‘Selfie’ is an online dating no-no.
“Unless it’s done ironically, in which case, are you free on Thursday?” was another response.
Taking it a step further, research from the University of Birmingham in the UK found that too many ‘Selfies’ posted on Facebook could actually damage your relationship.
David Houghton, the lead researcher said, “‘Selfies,’ or self-portraits, seem to be some of the most irksome images.”
In a recent interview with the New York Daily News, I provided several tips for those who have no self-control when posting ‘Selfies.’ Including:
Ladies: No Bikini Photos. Just because Rhianna does it, doesn’t mean your potential online date will appreciate yours. A bikini shot is just lingerie with different material. A man will undress you with his eyes. There’s no need to say take me to the bedroom with your bikini ‘Selfie.’\
Guys: Ditch the Mirror Photos. Posting a photo of yourself without wearing a shirt in the bathroom mirror has become as cliché as the woman who says she wants to go on beach walks in her Internet dating profile.
While authenticity is appreciated in posting recent photos, we know that the selfies shots aren’t usually your best. I say save them for Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Put your best digital foot forward and post the best photos you can of yourself. Add the dates they were taken, so your online date will know how recent they are.
Are you posting ‘Selfies’ on your dating profile? What has the response been?
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter to join in the conversation.
Photo credit: © berc – Fotolia.com
On WashPost Live, Online Dating Expert Julie Spira and Dr. Eli Finkel from Northwestern University talk with Nia-Malika Henderson about online dating algorithms and the latest trends in mobile dating. Has online dating become a social dating experience? Why is Tinder the hottest new mobile dating app? Is cyber dating here to stay?
All these questions and more were discussed on the latest in Internet dating on Washington Post’s Live Channel, On Background.
If you’re questioning whether your summer romance has an expiration date on it and are wondering what to do next, these dating tips should help you on your romantic journey.
As summer is nearing its end, many students are now returning to school and single parents will now have a much different schedule to adhere to.
So with the change of seasons, how do you know if you can handle a long distance relationship this fall? If your guy is still in town, how do you know if your passionate summer love was just a fling or the real thing?
If you notice your relationship is tapering off as we lead into Labor Day, should you part ways as friends now that summer is over and wish each other well, or sign up for another season of love?
I’ve always said that long-term relationships should go through multiple seasons to determine if you’re compatible with your significant other or not. Yes, winter, spring, summer and fall. All of them, each with their unique beauty and differences can help you pass the test of time.
As cliché as it sounds, we know there is some validity to the three-month honeymoon phase. At first, everything about the other person is exciting. From giggles and hiccups to their exercise regime, you just suck it all in like a sponge that won’t dry out.
When these relationships peak in the summer, it’s often hard to tell whether it’s lust or love with all of the outdoor heat, but oddly, as the summer ends, it’s not unusual to start receiving less text messages from your beau. The days in between getting together seem to be getting longer while the days start to become shorter. The routine of your love life just isn’t as exciting as it used to be.
During months 3-6, the “imperfect stage,” don’t be surprised if your single girlfriend sees your guy’s profile online, where he’s just fishing to see who might write to him, even if he isn’t setting up any dates.
After that, you may find out about a few Facebook chats that were incorporated into the routine to create distance between the two of you. Someone notices a Facebook check in, he’s busted and there’s a major explosion.
If you can relate to this feeling or sequence of events, the problem may not be with the calendar, but more often-than-not be related to serious commitment issues that one of you may be struggling with.
The next think you know, someone isn’t sure if they’re feeling it anymore. Rather than being honest about the relationship, they’re cultivating conversations on Facebook with high school or college pals to create distance, and the trust dissipates. It’s the beginning of the end.
Why do so many of these relationships end when the summer is over?
Weather changes, months change, routines change, and even those relationships with the best of intentions run their course. At the end of the summer, it’s like the end of the calendar year. People reevaluate their relationship statuses and decide whether to renew for another three months.
If you feel this is happening to you, have the conversation first with your partner sooner, rather than later. Don’t toss away the relationship so quickly. Acknowledge all of the amazing things you’ve done together as a couple and honor the memories you’ve shared. Ask the other person if there’s anything they can do to keep the relationship alive. Remember, bumps on the road are an opportunity for personal growth within a relationship, not always necessarily the beginning of the end.
If at the end of your conversation, you feel you aren’t compatible or someone has already strayed, wish each other well, before you start logging on for love looking for their replacement.
It’s important to mourn the loss of your relationship, because your friendship, bond, and the daily connectivity will abruptly end. Trying to get together immediately as friends during this emotional time is not a good idea. It will backfire. There’s no such thing as a mutual breakup where everyone is happy. One person might think it will lesson their guilt. It won’t. You fell in love with someone for a reason, not a season.
If you find that your summer love has ended, don’t reactivate your online dating profile for at least a week. Sure it’s great for your ego to get people lining up to meet you for dates, but it isn’t fair for someone new not to get the best shot at you. Dating while you’re still pining away for your ex can increase your sadness. You’re a walking-wounded person and it’s healthy to take a break.
After enough time has gone by and you both have moved on with other relationships, it’s possible to be friends with your summer romance in another season, but in my experience, you truly need at least six months to segue a romantic relationship into a friendship. But then again, do you really want to be friends with someone who broke your heart?
Photo credit: sandra zuerlein – Fotolia.com
Let’s face it. You’re hanging your digital hat on Facebook and Twitter a bit more often than logging into your online dating account, and with good reason. You like to see what your friends are up to and cheer them on with an occasional like or two. Staring at ‘Selfies’ photos can be fun, and watching someone change their relationship status is a golden moment.
Most online dating sites are now entrenched with social media allowing you to upload your photos directly from Facebook and even using the like button for people to vote on their favorite photos of you. This is quite helpful as you can and should change your photos around a bit. If you notice that some are getting more attention, then they’re keepers.
Internet dating has evolved from the early days of chat rooms and dial up Internet to high-speed wireless Internet and now to a social dating experience. From getting dating advice on Twitter from @Match or @eHarmony to checking out your potential date’s Facebook page, while still chatting on the phone with him or her, digital dating has ramped it up a big notch.
When Facebook launched their Social Graph search in January, I spoke with USA Today. The article, Facebook Unleashed Cupid Potential came out while many of the Internet dating executives were at the Internet Dating Conference.
I was quoted as saying:
Dating norms, however, have already taken root on Facebook. People have long-perused the photos and postings of members in the game of attraction, says Julie Spira, a digital-dating maven who runs CyberDatingExpert.com.
“It’s the world’s largest social network, and they could be the world’s largest dating network if they want to go there,” Spira said.
No longer could online dating sites and singles ignore the big digital gorilla in the room. A few weeks later, we debuted Facebook Love Stories, featuring real world couples who met or reconnected on Facebook and fell madly in love.
Cyber-Dating Expert friend Cliff Lerner, the CEO of Are You Interested wrote an interesting piece in Huffington Post entitled, Why Facebook Graph Search Will Make Online Dating Cool.
I have to agree with Lerner. There are some that still think there’s a stigma with online dating, but have no problem contacting other singles on Facebook chat. This my friends is social dating at it’s best.
At the end of the digital day, you need to cast a very wide net. If you’re uncomfortable saying that you’re an online dater, tell people that you’re a social dater. Do whatever it takes to find love, online, offline, and on Facebook.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, on Facebook, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and FacebookLoveStories.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and coaches them on finding love online and on Facebook. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and like her at at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
After my divorce three years ago, one of my single friends suggested I try online dating. I wasn’t sure if it was for me, but now my ego is invested and I’m going on at least five dates a week. When the dates are over, I log back on to see who else I can meet.
While I’m excited to meet so many different people, I never can get to the point of wanting to be with just one guy. I’m not sleeping with anyone, but my friends think I’ve got commitment issues and the thought of taking down my profile makes me anxious.
Then when I see a guy I’ve dated has met someone else and moved on, I feel bad.
Is this normal?
Online Dating Addict
Joining an online dating site after a divorce is a great way to rebuild your self-esteem. Sure the ego is being stroked with so many men writing to you and watching your inbox fill up with male suitors. There’s no magic timetable of how long you should play the digital field, but at some point, being a permanent member of an online dating site can be demoralizing.
Decide exactly what you’re looking for and make sure you’re upfront about it both on your profile and during your dates. Let men know that you’re newly single and will be casually dating multiple guys for a while. At some point, you need to decide if you really want to be in a relationship or not. Becoming one who needs to log on for hours a day every day without ever finding a relationship doesn’t mean you’re an online dating addict. It just means you’re enjoying meeting many different types of people online that you wouldn’t have had the chance to meet offline.
If it’s truly your goal to find one special person to share your life with, when you find chemistry and mutual interests with someone, you need to give the guy the chance to be your one and only to see what it’s like to be in a relationship. Yes, that means taking down your profile. If it doesn’t work out, then just reactivate your profile and keep searching.
When you’re ready to go steady, you’ll know it. Until then, enjoy meeting a variety of people. I always say there are 64 colors in the Crayola crayon box. I feel the same way about online dating. It’s not an addiction unless you feel it’s a problem. Don’t let your friends comments influence how you feel about dating after a divorce.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Do you have a question for Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira? Send your questions here and read other Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert columns for online dating advice.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt.
As I critiqued her profile, we needed to make changes in her geographic area as she only wanted to meet men within a ten mile radius. This wasn’t realistic. Think about it. If you could fall in love with someone on an airplane, would you mind if he lived an hour away?
Today’s lesson is:
“How do you describe yourself exactly to attract the kind of man you’re looking for?”
Watch as we hone done the profile, toss out photos that didn’t make her look her very best, and convinced her to date men a little bit younger, since she said she was only looking for someone 17-years older. Seriously Lauren, a mature man closer in age to you might be a great husband.
Watch as we cast a much wider net, so Lauren can find the man of her dreams online.
Miss a previous episode of Online Dating BootCamp? Watch our videos here.
Find out more about Online Dating BootCamp and how to create an Irresistible Profile with private coaching by Julie Spira
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and was an early adopter of Internet Dating. She helps singles on the dating scene with her Irresistible coaching and is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.