Love and Money – Online Dating on a Budget

When you’ve signed up for an online dating site, at first you’ll be dating multiple people. We know it can be expensive. Then suddenly you meet the perfect girl online. Your phone chemistry is off the charts.  The first date went so well, that you can’t wait to see her again. You’d like to show up with a dozen roses or provide a posh mode of transportation for your evening on the town to impress her. But what if you don’t have a lot of money and your credit is on the low end? It’s not uncommon with today’s economic shift to feel financially strapped while dating. Finding love online can be euphoric or cause a bit of anxiety in the early days.

The relationship between money and dating causes unnecessary stress for both men and women. Women want men who are financially secure. Men want women they’re attracted to who would fall in love with them, instead of their bank account.

So what should you do to impress her without breaking the bank? I believe that bringing a dozen tulips, costing 1/3 of the price will put a big smile on her face, but if you’d like to eventually splurge on a romantic vacation, it might be time to fix your credit and avoid spending more than you can afford.

While you’re getting your financial house in order, you still can impress a date with fun and inexpensive activities.

Inexpensive Dates

Nifty Date Ideas has several affordable suggestions for your next online date.

• Take your date to a remote spot to watch the sunset and bring a picnic lunch or dinner. If you live in a northern climate and the Aurora Borealis or a meteor shower can be seen that night, you could make an exception.
• Perform community service such as going to a community center to volunteer, planting flowers for a neighbor or shoveling snow.
• Playing board games is inexpensive, and there’s a wide range of games available: Monopoly, Candy Land or Sorry.
• Take your date on a nature walk and pick raspberries or blackberries. Eat them along the walk or save them in buckets to make a pie or tart.
• Remember the fun of school field trips? Take a free factory tour or visit a historical building to relive those grade-school excursions.
• Visit a library or bookstore, find a cozy corner and browse through books or magazines. You can also rent audiobooks or movies at most local libraries. The spot might have a coffee shop, so you can discuss what you read over a hot mocha or latte.

There’s no need to go into debt to impress your next date. You should still take some time to repair your credit in the next 6-12 months and be responsible about not spending more than you can afford.

How to Improve Your Score

Money problems is one of the top reasons for a relationship to split up. If your credit rating is low and your long-term goals are to find someone to spend the rest of your life with and even possibly buy a home or lease a car, it’s a good idea to start working on improving your credit score. MSN Money suggests you start by opening a line of credit through a credit card. It states you don’t need to carry a balance to have good scores; it’s a myth. Consider a secured credit card if you can’t open a traditional credit card. The issuing bank gives you a credit line equal to the deposit you make for a secured card. MSN Money says paying off your mortgage, auto and student loans can help, but not as dramatically as paying off accounts such as credit cards. Pay your bills on time and, if you can, pay more than the balance due.

If you want to improve your credit in a bigger way, consider getting a used car. Used cars are a good choice because a car that is only a year old is 20 to 30 percent cheaper than a new car, according to Edmunds.com. And it’s possible to get a regular interest rate, even with poor credit. A person with good credit will usually get an interest rate on a used car between 5 and 7 percent, while many auto companies and lenders will finance a vehicle or OK a loan from 6.7 to 13.5 percent, according to bankrate.com.

Have you managed to find fun and affordable dates?

Your comments are welcome.

Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates Irresistible Profiles for Singles on the dating scene.

For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt.

Julie Spira on WGN – Online Dating Advice and Tips

Did you miss the radio broadcast with Online Dating Expert Julie Spira and WGN radio’s Bill Leff?

In an hour-long segment, we covered the dos and don’ts for cyberdating, the pros and cons of doing a Google search on your date, and how to spot fake online dating profiles.

Learn more about dating in a web 2.0 world.

Listen here:

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Can Googling Your Date Ruin Your Chance of Finding Love?

Conducting a Google search before going on a date is as common as brushing your teeth in the morning.  Sure you may be excited about him or her, but can over-Googling backfire?

In the April issue of Glamour magazine, I’m quoted along with Chemistry.com’s Dr. Helen Fisher in an article, Stop Googling Your Dates!

Becoming a Cyber-sleuth in your pre-dating phase I believe is detrimental to getting to know someone.

The digital pre-date can last for several hours in front of your computer. From Facebook to Linkedin, Google, and Twitter, you may find yourself excited at one article where your date won a prestigious award, and then in the next moment, cringing when you see his party photos.

“….pre-dating makes you feel like you already “know”each other by the first date. You get this false, euphoric sense of security that you’re in a relationship. Pre-dating accelerates your entire courtship. Just remember, that you really don’t know him; you just think you do…”

As technology continues to develop, a Google search may become as passé as the fax machine. With Google Image Search, one can now find your photo on the Internet or on an online dating site, upload it to Google Image Search and possibly find out your date’s first and last name. Once that piece of the puzzle is solved, the digital door is wide-open.

Take for example a phone call that I recently received from a man whom I did not know. I shared this story on Huffington Post in an article, Google Image Search – Can it Replace Online Dating Sites?

In this scenario, a man I never met uploaded one of my photos he found online. It led him to my media page, YouTube channel, book page, and provided him with details of where I lived and the restaurants I was a regular patron of. Was this creepy? You better believe it. Whether he meant it when he said he wanted to sweep me off my feet or not, I decided against meeting him. Did I miss out on meeting the one? Perhaps next time, he’ll think twice about Googling and telling.

Do you Google your dates before you meet them? Have you checked Facebook to see if you have friends in common or what pages they’ve “liked?” Would you use Google Image Search to widen the opportunities to meet other singles?

At the end of the digital day, you can run, but you can’t hide.

Your comments are welcome.

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Social Media Rules for a Happy Digital Valentine’s Day

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it’s time to brush up on your social media etiquette skills.

We know that you’re excited about your upcoming date or new relationship, but are you both on the same digital page?

Here are some Dos and Don’ts on how to handle social media and love on February 14^th.

DO: send a fun and flirty “Happy Valentine’s Day” text to the person you’ll be spending the holiday with. It will generate excitement leading up to your date.

DON’T: Keep your phone on the table during the date or check text messages. It sends a message that someone else is more important than you are.

DO: Send a text message inviting them for a SKYPE date if you can’t be together or if they live out of town.

DON’T: Post photos of the two of you as a couple on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram unless both of you decide together that you don’t mind your extended network to view your whereabouts.

DO: Post a photo of the cute red or pink dress you might be wearing on your date.

DON’T: Tag your new boyfriend on Facebook. Chances are he hasn’t told his buddies and work pals about his Valentine’s plans.

DO: Post a photo if you’ve received flowers, a fun gift, or of the dessert at dinner. Everyone loves to view the photos and will cheer you on with “likes.”

DON’T: Post your Happy Valentine’s message on your date’s wall. Saying you can’t wait until the evening together should remain private. Remember, a simple post may be innocent. However your friends might wonder what kind of wild night the two of you will be having. Or worse yet, his ex-girlfriend might start posting inappropriate comments to ruin your evening.

DO: Send a digital gift, such as his or her favorite band on iTunes, an e-card, or a redeemable gift card to a store or restaurant.

DON’T: Send a musical montage of “I Love You” songs if you haven’t said those three little words yet.

DO: Ask for permission before you post anything online. Remember you’re creating a permanent digital footprint and your status and photos can be shared, even by people you don’t know.

DON’T: Overshare. Remember, many of your friends are single and may not be enjoying the day.

DO: Make an exciting announcement. If you become engaged on Valentine’s Day, your friends will want to know.

DON’T: Change your Facebook relationship status to “In a Relationship” until both of you have had the talk and agree to be on the same digital page.

Do you have any social media rules for Valentine’s Day?

Your comments are welcome.

Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and The Rules of Netiquette. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Countdown to Valentine’s Day – Can You Find a Date Online?

With Valentine’s Day just a month away, singles are thinking about red hearts and online dating sites are seeing record activity.

According to CNN, some online dating sites have surged by up to 350% in the past two months, so singles looking for love online can have more choices to find a date or mate for the holiday season.

So how can you ramp up your search in the next 30 days?

Here are 5 tips that will shorten the search so you can ride into the digital sunset together.

1. Become a Social Dater. If you’re constantly updating your status on Facebook and posting new photos on Instagram, Pinterest, and Flickr, go ahead and share some of those on your online dating profile as well. Toss out the outdated blurry photos, group shots, and the arm hanging over your shoulder and replace them with newer photos that reflect who you are today. Remember to post a caption under the photos and add the date they were taken, so your potential suitors can see there’s truth-in-advertising

2. Don’t Wait, Initiate. I know the “Rules” book says a woman should never ever contact a man, but I disagree with this one. There’s a fine line between chasing a guy and playing hard-to-get. Playing the waiting game won’t fill your date card. Sure if you call a guy all the time, you might be considered needy, but most men are so frustrated with writing to women online who never respond. Your quick introduction email will be refreshing to him. Send a flirt, wink, or a nudge, if you’d like to subtly get his attention. Rate his profile or let him know you’ve viewed it, so he can see you’re interested.

3. Flirt on Facebook. Finding love on the world’s largest social network will expand your search. Facebook reported that 40.5% of their members changed their relationship status in 2012 to “Single,” as compared to 29.2% who changed their status to “In a Relationship.” Check out Facebook chat and see if someone who captures your eye is online and start the conversation. Go ahead an Poke someone and see if it’s returned like a digital boomerang.

4. Log on Daily. If you keep your online dating profile hidden with the fear that you’ll look desperate, the result is you just won’t get found as easily. Change your settings to being visible while logged on, so you can show up higher in a search. Take it one step further and turn on the chat and instant message feature. It’s time to start flirting online.

5. Practice the Magic of 5. If you’d go on a few job interviews every day to find your dream position, shouldn’t you do the same with your personal life? Go ahead and book five dates a week. Sound overwhelming? Not really. Schedule two coffee dates, one lunch date, and two dates for drinks to fill your calendar with potential male suitors. By the weekend, you should have date number two on your calendar. Even if you don’t meet “the one,” you’ll be expanding your social network. I call it casting a wide net. You never know if a party invitation will follow.

Practice these five tips from now until Valentine’s Day and look forward to the possibility of finding love online.

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert, bestselling author and the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

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Online Dating Resolutions for the New Year

Online dating sites are booming in anticipation of the New Year and for those who are still hopeful that they might find a last minute date to toast to at midnight.

Perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate how you approach Internet dating, so you’ll have a better experience and can become the next success story in the Cyber Love Story of the Week.

As good as your intentions are while making your list, like many New Year’s resolutions, after a few weeks you typically lose momentum and dieting and dating patterns will start to diminish. You’ll probably end up spending more time checking your friends’ facebook activity then focusing on logging on to Match, eHarmony, or OkCupid. Finding love online ends up moving down on your list of daily activities.

When you decide it’s time to make finding love a priority, here are some dating resolutions we think you’ll be able to keep.

1. Sign up for 1-2 online dating sites. If you’re already on a mainstream site, why not take your profile and associated photos and post them on a niche site that focuses on some of your passions? Remember to change the primary photo, screen name and the order of the paragraphs on your profile so it isn’t a complete copy-cat.

2. Sign on daily to read emails and see who the site matches you up with. We know you’re logging onto Facebook for 45 minutes to one hour a day, so why not carve out some of that time to devote to your dating sites? If your inbox is empty, go ahead and see who the site has matched you up with, or notice who has viewed your profile and winked or flirted with you. Another benefit: Some people search specifically for those online, or who had signed on within the last 24 hours to 3 days. You’ll be found much easier in the crowded digital playing field.

3. Write to 5 people a day. Does the squeaky wheel get the digital love deal? We think so. Depending on your age and the site, often ten outbound emails might result in only one response. Try to find at least five people every day that you think you’d connect with, or at least enjoy their company. After all, online dating is a numbers game.

4. Refresh your profile weekly. Active Facebook users often upload a new photo every few days. Why not find one of your favorite shots and add it to your dating profile to keep it fresh? Take it a step further and post a new event that you’re excited to be attending. Otherwise, your profile will become stale. Looking for a date to go to a hockey game? Mention it in your profile and see the responses you’ll get. Still stumped? Change the order of your sentences and you’ll be more likely to show up higher in a search.

5. Reach out and reconnect. Did you get too busy during the year with day-to-day activities or did your relationship recently run it’s course? Perhaps you missed out on meeting someone you started to communicate with online.  Take a look in your Inbox and see if he or she still has an active online dating profile. Reach out and send an email with a simple, “Happy New Year” as a digital ice-breaker If their profile is still online, assume they haven’t met “the one” yet. It may be a time for a new beginning for both of you.

Remember, the period from New Year’s through Valentine’s Day is when singles will either join an online dating site for the first time, or renew their memberships. Most sites have an increase in membership by an average of 10% or more from now through Valentine’s Day. It’s peak season in the dating world. You need to play to win, or in this case, log on to find love.

If you need some extra handholding, I will work with you privately to create an irresistible online dating profile, complete with a catchy screen name so you can stand out in the crowded digital playing field.

Let’s make 2013 the year to fall in love online.

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. For more online dating tips and advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt,  follow Julie on Twitter @Julie Spira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Photo credit: Thibault Renard – Fotolia.com

To Gift, or Not to Gift: Surviving Holiday Dating

The holidays are filled with both joy and anxiety for many singles. The week before Christmas marks the year’s busiest week for online dating activity, so don’t be surprised if your inbox starts to fill up with new suitors. It’s also peak time for breakups. Could it be that your date doesn’t want to splurge on a holiday gift?

If you’ve just started to date someone you’ve met online and have only had a few dates, you may be wondering if should you buy him or her a lavish gift. While the easiest solution would be to leave town for the holidays, or even put your head under the covers, know that you’re not alone with the gift dilemma.

Jenna writes in that she’s been dating someone for four weeks, but both of them still have active online dating profiles. Although she believes they’re exclusive, she thinks she’d like to give her new beau a holiday gift during one of their dates. However, the subject of exchanging gifts never came up. She’s hinted about things she’d like in her stocking, but her new guy hasn’t asked her what she’d like for the holidays or made specific plans for Christmas.

Jenna wonders if it’s too soon to be exchanging gifts and what she should do.

My take on the situation, is that you always give a gift without expecting one in return. If she sees that he loves doing the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzles, why not go to a bookstore or order a large puzzle book from Amazon? The cost is less than $20 and it will show the man you’re dating that you’ve paying attention to things that interest him.

Other singles will be bold and ask each other what they’d like for the holidays. If this happens, then know that you’ll be opening your wallet. For a new relationship, there’s nothing wrong with putting a budget on holiday gift giving or suggesting going to a sporting event or concert together to celebrate.

The worst thing you can do is to lavish your date with an expensive gift early on in the relationship. It may make him or her run the other way, or feel guilty that they haven’t reciprocated.

So just how early would it be to give her a diamond watch or a new puppy?

Unless you’re in a serious relationship, where you have a history of buying each other a birthday present or other special gifts, don’t assume you’ll be receiving a gift, nor should you ever feel obligated to buy your date a gift. It’s impossible to ignore the holidays with all of the Cyber Monday specials and Christmas songs on the radio.

Some of my favorite thoughtful gifts, which won’t break the bank include:

• An iTunes Gift of your date’s favorite band
• Gift certificate for a movie and dinner
• Gift certificate for a massage
• A golf lesson
• An accessory for his or her iPhone/iPad
• A gift certificate for a handyman for the day

The worst thing you can do when you give your date a gift, is to ask him or her what they were planning on getting you if it appears they aren’t reciprocating. You’ll make him or her feel uncomfortable about not taking the time to buy you a present, or they’ll feel obligated to pick up a gift and resentment could build up. It’s just too much pressure for a new relationship.

Remember, the best gift you can give each other is time spent together creating new memories. A hug and a kiss under the mistletoe is priceless.

Do you have a holiday gift tradition?

Julie Spira is an online dating and mobile dating expert. She’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, visit CyberDatingExpert.com to sign up for the Weekly Flirt and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Holiday Dating: 5 Tips on Getting Back With an Ex

If you’re feeling lonely at the holidays, look no further than your inbox. It may be time to read some of your emails from a former love that you met on your favorite online dating site.

If you have the urge to reconnect with an ex at the holidays, know that it’s normal.

As a dating expert and relationship coach, many of my clients and their friends are telling me they’ve reconnected this holiday season with long-lost loves. Yes, you’re recycling an ex, but why not give it a shot again with someone you have a history with?

Perhaps it starts off innocently in November with a text message or email saying “Happy Thanksgiving.” It’s a safe way to reach out and reconnect without feeling you’ll get rejected by picking up the phone. If you receive a favorable reply, it’s likely to make you feel warm and fuzzy.

You may find yourself projecting into the future. Should you ask him or her to the office holiday party? What are their Christmas and New Year’s plans?

With holiday break-up season at its peak, it’s normal to wonder if he or she is in a relationship of still thinks about you from time-to-time.

What are the rules for recycling an ex at the holidays?

Here are  5 tips on how to attend a special holiday event with your former beau or girlfriend to make it a better experience for all involved.

1.  Don’t try to pick up where you left off. Don’t assume your ex wants to get back together long-term. Try and look at this as a new friendship or the beginning of a new relationship that just happened to resurface during the holidays. Don’t start planning your future all over again and keep the expectations low. Live in the moment on your first date together.

2. Don’t talk about your dating history while you were apart. Perhaps one of you had a lusty affair and the other never got over your initial break-up. There’s no reason to compare bad date stories or wonder how many people your ex went to bed with. Keep the conversation on a need-to-know basis. They simply don’t need to know what happened during your hiatus.

3. Do keep the conversation light and easy. Just like your initial first dates, remember to leave the drama behind. You might think the familiarity should allow you to accelerate things, but being a “Debbie or Donnie Downer” will turn him or her away faster than you can imagine. Ask about his or her family and how work is going or talk about the latest accomplishments of your children. If your former love interest says they’re seeing someone, respect their relationship status and don’t try to talk them out of it.

4. Don’t talk about what went wrong. You know the reason you broke up. He or she knows the reason you broke up. There’s no need to rehash the past and spend time going down memory lane.

5. Don’t sleep together. Avoid being overly affectionate in public the first time you see each other after a break-up. Unless you really want a “Friends with Benefits” relationship, don’t immediately end up back in bed. You may wake up regretting it in the morning when your emotions are at an all-time high, as you wonder where the relationship will go.

If all goes well, hopefully you’ll put a second date on the calendar. Or better yet, you’ll rekindle a friendship with someone you admire who has a network of friends he or she might introduce you to.

If you have personally experienced recycling an ex, feel free to share your stories and comment. If you’re interested in trying some of our favorite dating sites, click here.

Julie Spira is an online dating and relationship expert. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. For more dating advice, visit CyberDatingExpert.com, where you can sign up for the Weekly Flirt. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Online Dating – Are You Dating a ‘Catfish?’

MTV’s ‘Catfish’ has been named one of the best new docu-series and it’s certainly getting a lot of attention from emotional daters.

So what’s a “Catfish” and how do you know if you’re dating one?

A “Catfish” is someone online who’s really pretending to be someone else online to get someone to fall in love with them. This could be using social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter, as well as on Internet dating sites. In the series, the photos used to capture hearts online were from other people than themselves.

The show’s hosts, Nev Schulman and Max Joseph appeared on Good Morning America, to talk about the show and provided their online dating advice including:

• Stay away from model types. Often people will post stock photos or pictures they’ve found on the Internet.

• Be careful if it seems too good to be true

• Check their Facebook profiles

• Use Skype or have them hold up their driver’s license.

If you’ve fallen in love from behind your keyboard and haven’t met in real life, you might a victim of a Catfish, or what I call the digital pen-pal syndrome.

But not everyone is a “Catfish.” We feature online dating success stories all of the time in our Cyber Love Story of the Week, even those who waited a long time before meeting in person and rode off into the sunset together, in-real-life.

Misty and Marty met on Twitter and started following each other on Facebook as well. Two years later, Misty moved from the Philippines to the U.S. and the two graduated to Skype dates.

They finally met in person and are now happily married.

Evita and Billy met on MySpace and started a long-distance relationship. Eventually on Skype, Billy revealed that he was deaf and an amputee, something he didn’t want to let her know right away. Evita had already fallen in love with him online and once they met offline, they felt the same magic. The two are now happily married.

But there are still those who misrepresent themselves that we feature in the Peril of the Week that go beyond just a bad date.

In Girl Meets Boy, Meets Girl, a woman met a man online and they fell in love on the telephone. They started a long distance relationship, and corresponded via email with shared photos, talking about their values, dreams, and life experiences.

The gentleman, “Mark” event went as far as financially supporting the woman for some time. Finally the day came for the two to meet face-to-face, but “Mark” kept canceling the date.

Eventually, they had their first in person date, where “Mark” arrived, and was actually “Mary” not really “Mark.” This female had been impersonating a male the entire time, and when she finally showed her real face the truth came out.

Fortunately for “Mary” the woman she had been courting had a good sense of humor about it and they have remained friends to this day.

At the end of the digital day, online dating is a numbers game. You need to play to win, and use common sense. The need to be loved and accepted is so great, that some singles do feel the need to expand the truth to fit into a search on their online dating profiles.

Authenticity will always make you a winner.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and relationship coach. As an online dating pioneer, Julie was one of the first on her block to create an online dating profile in 1994. Today, she creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt,  follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, and like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

10 New Rules for Online Dating

With many new singles and especially boomers joining online dating sites for the first time, the process can be overwhelming at times. Add to it the thousands of newer, niche online dating sites that have popped up including dating men with a mustache to finding singles who ride subways, it’s time to put a few new rules on the table.

In a recent issue of Bottom Line Personal magazine, I wrote an in-depth article on how to avoid the most common mistakes that Internet daters in their 40s to 60s make; resulting in either a bad experience with online dating or getting stuck in the serial dating syndrome.

Here are ten tips to consider while looking for love online.

1. Leave the novel behind.  Too often I see profiles that resemble a novel rather than a brief peek at your personality. The word count is so high that it’s a huge turn-off to daters. When in doubt, keep your profile short and don’t focus on your entire life story.

2. Don’t expect instant chemistry.  When I work with both single men and women, it’s hard to get them to look past the photos. Sure we all have a “type.” Some prefer blondes, others brunettes. But if you don’t have instant email chemistry, don’t toss your online date away. Many men just aren’t computer savvy and don’t “give good emails.” Hop on a phone call to see if there’s phone chemistry. If so, put a date on the calendar. It’s time to meet in-real-life.

3. Be careful of the instant relationship. The need to love and be loved is so powerful, that often singles project to the future too fast. As soon as you think he or she may be the one, it may already be over. Avoid rushing to become relationship exclusive after one or two dates. The best things in life are worth waiting for and the courting phase is one you’ll want to remember, not rush into.

4. Talk about your life together. Rather than describing your perfect personality, let potential dates get a glimpse into what their life would be like if they were your partner. Describe interesting things that you can do together and your date will be able to imagine themselves in your life, as well as in your arms.

5. Don’t be a downer. Don’t be too judgmental or you will appear like a Debbie or Donny Downer. Leave the negative adjectives out of your profile and focus on more positive statements.

6. Don’t post too many family photos.  Having strong family values is looked upon as a positive trait. Even if your kids are on your Facebook profile,  your children or grandchildren shouldn’t be exploited on your dating profile. Do mention however, how important they are to you.

7. Leave the cleavage behind. We know that men undress you with their eyes, but do you need to show sexy shots to get their attention? I say no. Showing too much cleavage will make him assume you’ve got bedroom eyes and might not be worth more than a hook-up.

8. Keep your personal information private. We know it’s rare to get to a second or third date. With that in mind, don’t give out your home phone number or work email address. The last thing you’ll want is a jilted digital date showing up on your doorstep; or worse, a cyber-stalker. I recommend visiting Google and creating a Gmail account for dating along free Google voice account. You’ll get a unique phone number, which you can change. If you need to block someone who is harassing you, it’s easier than changing your mobile phone number.

9. Leave the ex behind. Often singles get nervous on a first date. Unlike a job interview, they haven’t practiced their list of questions to master the date. As a result, falling back on asking questions about his or her previous relationships or marriages will take you down a path you’ll wish you hadn’t brought up. If you’re asked about your ex, just tell your date that you’d prefer not discussing it on a first date and change the subject.

10. Attend offline events to meet the online crush. Online daters are going back to the basics and going offline to group dating events. You’ll know that everyone there is looking for a relationship, so approaching someone should be easier. Online dating sites such as Match.com and MeetMoi have fun events. Visit meetup.com and find events for like-minded singles and go out into the real world.

At the end of the digital day, millions of singles are flocking to Internet dating sites. You may be looking for the needle in the haystack, but you’ve got a big digital playground to play in.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and relationship coach. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking or Love Online. Julie creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt newsletter, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, and like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

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