Why You Need an Irresistible Online Dating Profile
Aug 25th
I’m often out during the evenings speaking to singles looking for love online. As a dating expert, I’m asked to look at existing profiles from those frustrated with the process of cyberdating. I see photos with arms hanging over shoulders, essays as long as a novel, and sometimes find an entire flickr or picasa album posted. I meet successful men and beautiful women who just aren’t getting the results they want. If your profile looks like this, chances are you aren’t meeting the man or woman of your dreams. Before you cancel your membership, look at some of my top tips that you can do on your own to tweak your profile. These 5 simple tips will help you stand out in the crowded playing field of Internet dating.
1. Catchy Screen Name and headline. Get creative. Show your flirty side. Make it more than the number that the online dating site creates for you. Include your hobby, favorite travel spot, or passion.
2. Profile Photos worth being on the front page of a newspaper. You’d be surprised at the amount of blurry photos, photos with multiple people in them, or one’s that don’t have you looking your best. Smile in your photos. Smile on the phone. Don’t forget to smile on that first date as well. Both men and women are visual. Look your best. Wear your favorite color.
3. Word Count. Sometimes less is more. Writing eight paragraphs in your essay is too overwhelming. I recommend refining your word count to 150-200 words. Leave something to talk about on your first date and leave the novel out of your profile
4. Avoid Cliché’s. Looking for soul mate may be a given, but it won’t grab his or her attention. Be a little quirky and someone will want to know more about your fun personality.
5. Be Specific. If you are interested in marriage, don’t be afraid to check off that box. If religion is important to you, make note of that. Don’t say what you don’t want, but make sure that you say what you do like about being in a relationship.
If after revising your profile on your own, you still aren’t achieving the results that you need, it’s time to visit a dating coach and get an outside opinion. Contact us at CyberDatingExpert.com and we’ll help you create an irresistible online dating profile.
Signs You May be Dating a Cyber Player
Aug 23rd
You’ve signed up for an online dating site. Your inbox is full of interested singles trying to capture your attention. You put yourself out there and opened up your heart. How can you tell if he’s sincere or if he or she is a cyber player or serial dater?
In a recent article on Sympatico.ca Personals, I shared some of my insights, online dating tips, and red flags with Jenna Stone.
They’re the scourge of the dating scene, the stealth enemy of anyone seeking a long-term, committed relationship – The Players.
There you are, putting yourself out there, hoping to find someone with whom to spend your life, and there he/she is messing it all up. They make the apparent right gestures and tell you what you want to hear, all the while working the same schtick on someone else, or several someone elses.
And they’re not just lurking in the bars and clubs either. They’re online, sneaking around your favourite dating sites. How can you avoid…(insert dramatic B Movie monster music here)…THE CYBER PLAYER?
Julie Spira is a cyber dating expert, and author of the online book The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. She offered some insight on how to keep the cyber serial dater at bay.
She says, “There are certainly a lot of them online. They become these little kids in a candy store because they can always find a pretty face. And they get five new e-mails in their inbox every day.” Spira is quick to point out that, while many people DO indeed commit, the web has “really created a feeding ground for people who can’t.”
Spira says there are two categories of online players. The first are people who are also offline players and it’s how they live their lives. “They see online dating as an extra way to feed their egos.” The other type, she says, are those who were shy and unlucky in love, but then tried online dating and “all of the sudden they go from being socially challenged to suddenly having all of these options.”
Sometimes, she adds, they don’t even meet anyone in person. “They just talk and chat. They get sort of addicted to it.”
So, that’s red flag #1. They keep putting off meeting you in real life. Seems obvious right? But a lot of people can’t read the clearest signs and wind up wasting a lot of time.
If someone won’t eventually come play outside, they might not be socially capable. They might even be hiding behind an entirely constructed persona.
Once you do meet them outside, Spira says that, oddly, they tend to come on strong and talk a lot about commitment. “When you go on a date with a cyber player, they will say things that are the complete opposite from what you’d expect. They say things like ‘I was married before and I want to be married again,’ ‘I’m looking for one woman to wake up with every morning.’ They say these types of things a little too much and you might find yourself raising an eyebrow.”
But then, right after they leave you, they’re back cruising the cyber singles scene.
“They go home and send you an e-mail that says ‘I had such an amazing date with you, there was so much chemistry. I can’t wait to see you again,’ and you see that they’ve already logged on at 12:30 in the morning after your date ended at eleven o’clock that night.” (Most dating sites allow you to see when a member is online)
Of course, it’s OK to spend as much time as you please cruising when you’re just dating. It’s when things are supposed to be getting serious that these become red flags.
Spira advises you err on the side of caution, keep your own profile up and continue to date other people. And, if you’re looking for a serious relationship, “Do not sleep with someone who is unwilling to pull down their profile.
“If you’re on a casual dating site and are advertising that you’re accepting that type of relationship, that’s one thing. But if you go on a site dedicated to serious relationships, like e-Harmony or JDate or Match.com, and you state on the profile that you are looking for a long term relationship and marriage, that’s another.”
It’s a common question: When is the appropriate time to take down the profile? There’s no right answer. But you need to be comfortable. If you’re uncomfortable with the other person’s profile remaining up, then it’s not unreasonable to address that.
Spira says, “I’ve seen it too many times where a woman says ‘I’ve been dating this guy for a year and he won’t pull down his profile.’ I say, ‘Well, you never really talked about that before your clothes wound up on the floor.”
The bottom line? Talk about it.
Once offline, if you find yourself falling for a player and want to try to get them to tame their wild ways, Spira suggests a few things that include,
1: Keeping busy. Don’t always be readily available and live a life that’s exciting and fun, and will continue to be so with or without them in it.
2. Setting a time limit. Make it clear you’ll only wait around for so long.
3. Giving instructions on how you want to communicate. If you want daily phone calls and flirty text messages, Spira says don’t be afraid to ask for them.
A lot of people do find themselves trying to catch the player, convinced they can make them change. It’s one option.
Remember, there’s always another option. You could just move on to someone else.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com for Dating Advice
7 First Date Mistakes You Can’t Afford to Make
Aug 18th
Recently, I wrote an article for Match.com’s Happen magazine about first date blunders you should avoid while looking for love online. Here are some first-date mistakes that you absolutely can’t afford to make if you want to put a second date on your planning calendar.
Click here for full article on Match>>>
Experts know that online dating can be a numbers game. You need to always put your best foot forward when you find a profile that’s intriguing and are interested in pursuing someone. But what many singles fail to realize is that your number-one pick may also be many other people’s favorite, too!
I sometimes compare Internet dating to an online auction: there might be multiple bidders at any time, and may the best man or woman win. Do I think that online singles are nothing more than objects of affection? Not at all. Online dating is simply the first step in building a relationship between two people that you need to successfully move offline. But remember, there could be heavy competition for dates — and you can’t afford to blow your first impression, either online or off-line.
1. Avoid the ex-factor.
I’ve seen too many dinner dates that start out great only to end up being over before the main course has arrived. Why? Because too many people bring their exes to the table with them. This includes not only former spouses and lovers, but jobs, too. No one wants to hear about your sad past on a first date. Instead, always try to keep it light and fun. Talk about your favorite film, play, vacation spot, book, or what you enjoy doing on the weekends.
2. Flirting with disaster.
My dad likes to flirt with waitresses. It’s fine for my parents, as they have been married for over 50 years. Too often, though, I hear about men staring at their cute waitress or having a roving eye while on their first date with someone. So, men: focus on the woman you are meeting. Be captivated by your first-date conversation. Engage with the person sitting across the table from you.
3. Don’t dress for the bedroom.
Men are visual creatures and they can imagine undressing women with their eyes the moment they meet. This doesn’t mean that women should wear a sexy low-cut outfit showing off lots of cleavage. Men like to slowly unwrap a package, so to speak. Unless you’re just looking for a hook-up, women should leave the sexy clothes for when they really are ready for a more intimate relationship.
4. Obey the food and beverage rule.
While dating can be expensive if it includes multiple restaurants or drink tabs every week, if a man asks a woman out for coffee on a first date, he should offer to order her a beverage. If you think this is ridiculous, you’d be surprised. Often, I hear about coffee dates where a gentleman will either bring his own water or just refuse to order a cup of tea for the woman he is meeting. If he is truly interested in getting to a second date, a coffee date means exactly that: it involves a beverage. Offer to order a coffee. A lunch or dinner date means ordering something to eat.
5. Hide the iPhone and BlackBerry.
Sure, you connect with others online. You can even use MatchMobile™ while you’re on the go. But when you get to your date, put your smartphone in your pocket or purse and leave it there. It shouldn’t be a visible accessory on your date. Otherwise, it will give the impression that you are waiting for a better invitation to come in. Avoid the urge to check your messages and text a friend while you’re on a date.
6. Do your homework.
Just as you should be prepared for a job interview by researching your prospective employer to make a good impression, you should remember important details about the date you’re meeting. If your calendar is filled with dates, it can be confusing. Nothing is more of a turn-off than a man asking a woman why she never got married when she’s actually been married twice before. A man won’t feel good about his date when she asks why he decided to go into real estate when he’s really a doctor. Print out your date’s profile. Make notes on the page outlining the conversations you have together. Mention something that you liked about his or her profile. Don’t act like this person’s just another number in a series and that you’re too busy dating around to remember individual details.
7. It’s a first date, not an instant relationship.
Dating and courting is a process. Even if you connect on a deeper level and think he or she could be The One, don’t start talking about your future together right now. It’s just a first date. Enjoy the fact that it’s going well. Be excited that you both want to put a second date on the calendar, but don’t start filling up someone’s life as the instant girlfriend or instant boyfriend. It can come across as needy and you might get a voicemail message later on canceling date number two. Show your date that you have a full and happy life. Having someone special in it will just make it that much better. And remember that courtship should be enjoyable!
Even if there is no chemistry on your date, don’t be rude and walk out. What if your date happens to have a friend he or she’d be happy to introduce to you that would be a better fit? What if your date invites you to a business-networking event? Look at every date as a possibility for expanding your social network or meeting a new friend. If it turns into a romantic relationship, then you’ve hit the jackpot.
Julie Spira is a worldwide authority in online dating who posted her first online dating profile in 1994 and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Spira’s dating advice has been featured in such publications as The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Glamour, Men’s Health, Woman’s Day, and more. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com Follow her on Twitter @JulieSpira
What Guys Look For In A Serious Relationship
Aug 11th
By Tiernan McKay – ShoppingLifestyle.com
Recently, I was interviewed by ShoppingLifestyle along with author Zachary Davis on what guys look for in a serious relationship. This subject is near and dear to my heart, as I am committed to helping you find and keep this relationship oriented man. The article, 10 Traits Men Look For In A Girlfriend will keep you on your toes and in his heart.
Full Article
While it’s no secret that sex is important to the male species, sometimes it’s a bit tough to identify just what men look for in a girlfriend — we’re talking long-term relationship material here.
Tapping into the knowledge of two relationship experts, we’ve come up with a list of 10 characteristics that will take a man from “just a date” to “meet my girlfriend”.
1. A sense of humor
“Nobody wants to date ‘Debbie Downer’ and men enjoy joking with their women,” says Zachary Davis, author of Roses and Brass Knuckles: A Man’s Pocket Guide To Winning The Dating and Marriage Game. Clearly, this is something that men and women can agree on. You don’t want to spend your time with someone who is seriously serious so be sure to lighten the mood when you can. Men like it when a women has the confidence to be funny. “Believe me, we want you to make us laugh too,” says Davis.
2. Flexibility
No, we’re not talking about physical flexibility (though, no doubt, plenty of men have that on their list). We’re talking about the ability to be adventurous and explore life as it happens. Julie Spira is a best-selling author, radio host, columnist and dating/relationship expert. She believes that “Men love it when a woman doesn’t mind if the plans get changed last minute. Spontaneity excites a man.” Last minute plans from a movie night to a pizza date? Don’t panic. Go with the flow and impress him with your carefree spirit.
3. Honesty
No long-term relationship can survive without honesty and men want to trust their girlfriends. “Women don’t like to admit it, but it is a lot easier for you to deceive us than it is for us to deceive you,” says Davis. “We don’t pick up on a lot of the signs that women do, so we have to be able to trust you fully.” If you really want a solid relationship, leave your affinity for little white lies behind you.
4. Positivity
There’s no question that life has its ups and downs but an emotional roller coaster is not high on any man’s list of desired traits in a girlfriend. Regardless of what life throws your way, a positive outlook on life will get you far. “Too much doom and gloom usually works its way into the bedroom,” according to Davis. “How can we have good night if you are always having bad days?”
5. Supportive
This can apply to both his personal and professional life, but men want a woman who is in his corner no matter what. “A man’s self esteem and ego are driven by his success in the business world,” says Spira. “When a woman admires a man for his work achievements and becomes his cheerleader, she’s on the top of his list.” Take an interest in his work, make an effort to understand his struggles and then provide encouragement.
6. Reliability
It’s doubtful that an unreliable woman (or man) will change her (or his) stripes once a relationship is in full swing, so men want to see this trait in a woman before things get serious. “Just like women want a man they can count on, we want the same in return,” says Davis. “It is easy to love when you can count on someone!” Some ways to show that you’re reliable include being on time, following through on commitments and being a good friend.
7. Motivation
Motivation is usually high on the list of characteristics that women look for in a man, but it goes both ways. “How can we move forward in a relationship, when you don’t want to move forward in your life?” asks Davis. Openly sharing your professional and personal aspirations will show him that you have big plans in life (that may or may not include him).
8. A social life
Even men who enjoy being in a relationship need their space, and they need to know that their girlfriend can have fun without him if necessary. “Nothing is worse than when you starting dating a woman and she becomes completely attached, and the two of you are together 24/7,” says Davis. “Then we start to think, what was she doing before we met? Time apart makes the heart grow fonder, even in the beginning.” Don’t even think about turning your back on your girlfriends just because Mr. Right comes along. Chances are, in the short term, he won’t be pleased and in the long-term, you won’t be happy.
9. Sexy + Smart
We all know the first characteristic tops a man’s list, but combine sexy with smart and you have “girlfriend material” written all over. “The combination will send a woman to the top of the list,” says Spira. “Men are visual. When they see a woman with the intelligence behind the pretty face, it’s a winning combination.” Don’t hesitate to share your intellectual passions. Maybe you are a crossword puzzle buff, an economic genius, a business whiz or aspiring author. Whatever your area of interest, flaunt it; don’t hide it.
10. Confidence
Again, this is something men and women have in common when looking for a long-term partner. “A man is attracted to a woman who is confident on their own,” says Spira. “Although they look forward to sharing together as a couple, if she can make it on her own and isn’t needy, she’ll capture his heart.” Davis agrees saying, “If you don’t love yourself then I can’t love you. Simple as that.” Take pride in your abilities, your body and your life and men will find you hard to resist.
For the full article visit ShoppingLifestyle.com
Julie Spira is a dating and relationship expert and bestselling author. She creates irresistible online dating profiles and coaches singles who are looking for love online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com
7 First Date Mistakes You Absolutely Can’t Afford to Make
Jul 27th
Have you ever felt like Internet dating was similar to an online auction? What happens when there’s multiple bidders for the newest fresh face? In a recent article on Match.com’s Happen Magazine, I point out seven key items
Sometimes singles dating online feel like they are nothing other than a 2-dimensional object. What you need to remember is that online dating is simply the first step in building a relationship between two people. The goal is to successfully move your relationship from offline to online. Remember, there could be heavy competition for dates — and you can’t afford to blow your first impression, either online or off-line.
Here are some first-date mistakes that you absolutely can’t afford to make if you want to put a second date on your social calendar:
1. Avoid the ex-factor. I’ve seen too many dinner dates that start out great only to end up being over before the main course has arrived. Why? Because too many people bring their exes to the table with them. This includes not only former spouses and lovers, but jobs, too. No one wants to hear about your sad past on a first date. Instead, always try to keep it light and fun. Talk about your favorite film, play, vacation spot, book, or what you enjoy doing on the weekends.
2. Flirting with disaster. My dad likes to flirt with waitresses. It’s fine for my parents, as they have been married for over 50 years. Too often, though, I hear about men staring at their cute waitress or having a roving eye while on their first date with someone. So, men: focus on the woman you are meeting. Be captivated by your first-date conversation. Engage with the person sitting across the table from you.
3. Don’t dress for the bedroom. Men are visual creatures and they can imagine undressing women with their eyes the moment they meet. This doesn’t mean that women should wear a sexy low-cut outfit showing off lots of cleavage. Men like to slowly unwrap a package, so to speak. Unless you’re just looking for a hook-up, women should leave the sexy clothes for when they really are ready for a more intimate relationship.
4. Obey the food and beverage rule. While dating can be expensive if it includes multiple restaurants or drink tabs every week, if a man asks a woman out for coffee on a first date, he should offer to order her a beverage. If you think this is ridiculous, you’d be surprised. Often, I hear about coffee dates where a gentleman will either bring his own water or just refuse to order a cup of tea for the woman he is meeting. If he is truly interested in getting to a second date, a coffee date means exactly that: it involves a beverage. Offer to order a coffee. A lunch or dinner date means ordering something to eat.
5. Hide the iPhone and BlackBerry. Sure, you connect with others online. You can even use MatchMobile™ while you’re on the go. But when you get to your date, put your smartphone in your pocket or purse and leave it there. It shouldn’t be a visible accessory on your date. Otherwise, it will give the impression that you are waiting for a better invitation to come in. Avoid the urge to check your messages and text a friend while you’re on a date.
6. Do your homework. Just as you should be prepared for a job interview by researching your prospective employer to make a good impression, you should remember important details about the date you’re meeting. If your calendar is filled with dates, it can be confusing. Nothing is more of a turn-off than a man asking a woman why she never got married when she’s actually been married twice before. A man won’t feel good about his date when she asks why he decided to go into real estate when he’s really a doctor. Print out your date’s profile. Make notes on the page outlining the conversations you have together. Mention something that you liked about his or her profile. Don’t act like this person’s just another number in a series and that you’re too busy dating around to remember individual details.
7. It’s a first date, not an instant relationship. Dating and courting is a process. Even if you connect on a deeper level and think he or she could be The One, don’t start talking about your future together right now. It’s just a first date. Enjoy the fact that it’s going well. Be excited that you both want to put a second date on the calendar, but don’t start filling up someone’s life as the instant girlfriend or instant boyfriend. It can come across as needy and you might get a voicemail message later on canceling date number two. Show your date that you have a full and happy life. Having someone special in it will just make it that much better. And remember that courtship should be enjoyable!
Even if there is no chemistry on your date, don’t be rude and walk out. What if your date happens to have a friend he or she’d be happy to introduce to you that would be a better fit? What if your date invites you to a business-networking event? Look at every date as a possibility for expanding your social network or meeting a new friend. If it turns into a romantic relationship, then you’ve hit the jackpot.
Julie Spira is a worldwide authority in online dating who posted her first online dating profile in 1994 and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Spira’s dating advice has been featured in such publications as The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Glamour, Men’s Health, Woman’s Day, and more. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com.
The Modern Day Dating Calling Card
Jul 22nd
I just read an interesting article in The New York Times that I must share with you. The article mentions newly launched sites Cheekd.com which had its debut in May, as well as FlipMeDating.com.
As members of both of these sites, you can spot a hottie, drop him a flirty calling card, and he can respond or not. It’s instant, you can be in the moment, and connections have resulted from these new simple techniques. According to the Times, Cheek’d members pay $25 for a monthly subscription which includes 50 calling cards. Recipients do not pay a fee.
Think about the lost opportunities you have missed out on. Perhaps you met an interesting guy on the airplane, and never followed up with your infatuation. He’s now gone. If you had a few flirty calling cards in your purse, you just might be going steady now. It’s a terrific ice-breaker and a great way to augment your existing online dating account.
So now, I’ll take a poll and welcome your comments. For $25, would you like to go out in the world armed and prepared if you spot a guy or gal who captures your eye? How would you feel if you’ve been Cheek’d by a woman or a man in a restaurant? Would you follow up online to learn more about this mystery man or woman?
I look forward to hearing more about the use of the modern day calling card as we continue to date in a Web 2.0 World.
Click here to read full article: The New Dating Tools: A Card and a Wink on The New York Times>>>
Why People Lie in their Online Dating Profiles
Jul 15th
Lately, more than ever, the subject of lying in one’s cyberdating profile has become a hot topic. Some have become accustomed to the age, height, and income exaggerations for the benefit of showing up in a search.
It appears that lying on your profiles never goes out of style. It’s become a bit of an epidemic. On July 29, I will be a guest on The Stars of PR with Cindy R at 7am/PT. Her radio show segment is called The Big Lie on VoiceAmerica Radio Network. Cindy contacted me as lying has become so in vogue that she wanted to do an entire segment on why singles lie to fit into a search. Just days later after confirming my show segment with Cindy Rakowitz, my friend Sam Yagan at OkCupid sent me an email with their latest statistical great post in OkTrends called The Big Lies People Tell in Online Dating. I am a big fan of OkCupid and always look forward to their blogposts.
Let’s take a deeper look at OkCupid’s findings, which are not shocking. Of course, I’ll toss my two cents in.
1. Height – Reality: People are 2 inches shorter in real life. If you have read my book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online
My first entry simply said:
WHAT THEY SAY: Male: Height 5’7″
WHAT THEY MEAN: Male: Height 5’5″
It appears things have not changed in the past few years.
2. Income – Reality: People are 20% poorer than they say they are.
OkCupid says that apparently, an online dater’s imagination is the best performing mutual fund of the last 10 years. I have to agree. More often than not, men are not putting their income on their profiles so they don’t have to see for themselves what the economy has done. Others aren’t interested in finding gold diggers. A recent online dater that I know of listed his previous salary which was 50% higher than his current income. He was in his 50s. He also said he was divorced, however he was “separated, divorce pending.” Interesting data from OkCupid.
3. Photos – REALITY: The more attractive the picture, the more likely it is to be out-of-date.
OkCupid has some terrific tricks to determine when a photo was actually taken. It’s worth taking a look at. Their findings claim that “most of the pictures on their online dating site were of recent vintage; site-wide the median photo age at upload was just 92 days. However, hotter photos were much more likely to be outdated than normal ones.”
I don’t disagree, but here’s a refreshing and amusing twist on the other side. A recent dater that I know of sat across from his attractive date and confessed the following: “I’m sorry. I’m uncomfortable. You appear too young for me.” Yes, you read this correctly. He was expecting an older woman, someone closer in age to himself or at least visually closer in age to his ex-wife, and not a woman that appeared closer in age to his daughter.
He added that, “Most women lie about their age in their profiles so I was hoping you would be older. You look younger than your photo.” Now, this isn’t the norm, but are we accustomed to being disappointed on our first dates to the fact that if you do indeed look like your profile it is a complete shock?
4. Swinging Both Ways – REALITY: 80% of self-identified bisexuals are only interested in one gender.
OkCupid claims to be a gay-friendly site and has some interesting statistics about their members in their study. The fantasy is clearly greater than the reality.
Feel free to comment and share your opinion. Do you lie on your online dating profile? Have your expectations been lowered to the point that you are in shock when someone looks like their profile and accurately represents themselves?
I hope you listen to our radio show segment on this subject on July 22, 2010.
Julie Spira is known as the Cyber-Dating Expert. She created her first online dating profile in 1994. She is the author of bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberdatingExpert.com. Follow her on Twitter @JulieSpira. Like the Fan Page
Dating Advice – Why Women Should Initiate Contact Online and Offline
Jul 12th
With today’s modern technology becoming a major part of our daily routine, it’s time to toss out the old rules book, or you might end up alone on another Saturday evening.
In my video, I discuss my dating advice and cyberdating tips to change your fairly empty InBox to one that becomes overflowing.
You may be thinking, shouldn’t the man always make the first move? You may be saying, I’m an old-fashioned girl and I’d never ask a man out. I say, rethink things if your dream date doesn’t automatically find you.
This includes doing your own search and sending a short complimentary email to a potential date on your favorite online dating site. Often, the man will feel flattered to hear from you. At times, he can be overwhelmed with the many choices and you might have gotten overlooked. Look at this initial email as a simple nudge or a smile so you will appear on his radar, or in reality, in his InBox.
Men get frustrated so easily after writing to many women without receiving a response. You might make his day, and if so, a date may be added to your calendar and you might find yourself in a nice new relationship.
Think of it like creating hints for your wish list for the outfits you might want as a birthday gift. Go ahead and wink or flirt, but if you really want to get his attention, flattery will boost his ego with a personalized email. He may be pushing the reply button in a New York minute.
For more personalized help with your online dating profile, sign up for IRRESISTIBLE Coaching.
Dating Advice – Why Her First boyfriend Probably Isn’t “the one”
Jul 8th
Cyber-Dating Expert
The excitement of a first love or first crush can make your emotions fly high, hormones hit the roof, and create a feeling of overall happiness. However, in your early 20s, it’s more likely that it’s the first of many new relationships.
Read my dating advice for Dara who met her first boyfriend online.
Dear Julie:
I’m a very inexperienced 23-year-old and I’ve never had a boyfriend, until now. I joined Mate1.com about two weeks ago and met a really great guy.
We chat almost everyday, exchange calls, and even met up a few times. He is kind, respectful, and gives me as much space as I need, but lately things have become quite intimate and I think I might be developing some serious feelings.
My question is; am I rushing into things? Should I try meeting other guys to see what else is out there? I’ve felt so happy since I met him, but then I’m not used to getting attention from men so is it because of him or the attention?
Dara
Hi Dara,
Congratulations on meeting a quality guy online. At 23-years old, you are aware that you are not very experienced with men. Chatting with your new beau almost every day after only a few weeks of dating is a good sign that you are developing a relationship.
What kind of relationship? It’s too soon for anyone at any age to know after two weeks. It’s important to know that when a woman becomes intimate with a man, she automatically bonds to him.
The chemicals are released and you might even feel like you love this man early on. If you have serious feelings for him and the feelings are mutual, just enjoy it. He has all of the qualities of a dream guy so far. Unless you have the conversation about being exclusive, assume you are not.
By dating other men, it will help keep this new relationship in perspective. If you both decide together to retire your online dating profiles, then you will need to focus on this relationship and treat him the way you want to be treated.
Enjoying the honeymoon phase of a new relationship and see where it goes. Don’t put too expectations on the relationship and hope that he is as happy as you are.
Julie Spira is known worldwide as the Cyber-Dating Expert. She coaches singles on finding love online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com
Is Online Dating Really Like Looking for a Job? [video]
Jun 30th
Often I am asked why it is so difficult in finding someone online. It’s not unusual to get overwhelmed by the process, but is it really like job hunting?
I say yes. Do I believe in love at first sight? View my video on GenConnect TV with my dating advice on how to create a rockstar online dating profile.
For more dating advice, visit CyberDatingExpert.com
