Every year on July 6th, singles and couples will have a good excuse to become more romantic and flirty for this annual holiday. As it falls on a Saturday this year, it’s time to get creative, both on the lips and in the desired location of that memorable kiss.
In honor of International Kissing Day, our friends at online dating site Zoosk conducted a survey of 3500 singles in the United States to find out everything you need to know about kissing. From air kisses to French kisses, find out the most popular styles of kissing and the biggest turn-offs for a bad kiss.
According to the survey, most singles have dated a bad kisser. With 73% of the singles polled claiming they’ve been stuck in a bad kissing situation, know that you’re not alone when you meet a kisser with the slobbering tongue, bad breath, or the one who kisses with his or her mouth closed.
Speaking of closed, the Zoosk survey showed that 83% of singles do prefer to kiss with their eyes closed as compared to wide-open.
Music and romance do go hand-in-hand, so it’s natural that those surveyed had some favorite make-out songs. The top selections included “Could I Have This Kiss Forever” by Whitney Houston & Enrique Iglesias, as well as “A Kiss From a Rose” by Seal and “Blow Me One Last Kiss” by Pink.
French kissing, surprisingly enough is more popular in the United States than in France. According to the survey, 46% of Americans prefer the French kiss as compared to 21% of those kissing in France.
Where do couples want to memorialize their kiss? The beach came in as the top choice with 30% of the votes, followed by kissing in the car, by a roaring fireplace, and on a carriage ride in Central Park in New York City.
If you’re away from your sweetheart, remember to send a few digital hugs and kisses XOXO’s via text on your mobile phone to celebrate International Kissing Day. Remember that a goodbye kiss can be more important than the hello kiss and leave a wonderful memory to the end of your date.
What’s your kissing style? Do you have your own kissing dos and don’ts? A dream spot for that first kiss?
Of more than 19,000 couples who married between 2005 and 2012, 35 percent originally met online, according to a study conducted by the market research firm IBISWorld (and funded by eHarmony). The research found that couples who met online were less likely to divorce and experienced higher levels of marital satisfaction.
With those types of statistics and the overall grim nature of dating, why not take a chance to meet the love of your life on the Internet? We know first-time online daters may be skeptical. Keep a positive attitude and be prepared to face any of these online dating risks:
Exaggerated Online Identities
For some people, online dating websites are spaces to set the past right again and erase relationship mistakes. It’s a space where people want to appear as perfect as possible, from a Photoshopped portrait to a falsely crafted profile. Unfortunately, the disparity between an online dater’s perfect self and the real self is often so gaping that in-person dates can be disastrous, as you can read from some of our Peril of the Week stories or in my bestselling book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. Whether or not someone will live up to who they seem to be online is a gamble. Prepare yourself to take that chance and never let disappointment shatter your spirit.
“Catfishing” is the act of creating a completely fictitious online persona (often via Facebook) to mislead or defraud others, according to LifeLock. It’s easy to get tricked into believing catfish are real, as they go to great lengths to develop fake profiles, including those with more than 300 friends and photographs to make it look real. Facebook photographs can easily be stolen from accounts of real people and falsely used on a catfish’s faux Facebook profile. To combat this:
- Do a Google search on Facebook photos, which could easily be stolen from others’ profiles
- Do the same with a few distinctive phrases in the person’s profile bio. Perpetrators often have duplicate or near-duplicate profiles on multiple sites, each with a different picture or location
- Fraud and identity theft aren’t the norm, but they happen. Limit how much personal information you share until you know you can trust your potential date.
With so many dating sites and pages upon pages of singles’ profiles, it’s easy to maintain high standards and keep a mentality that, “someone better may be out there.” You should never have to settle for someone with whom you don’t have a connection, but focusing on trivial aspects of a person’s profile or appearance will only hinder your quest to find the one. Know your deal breakers while keeping an open mind.
Also, understand that many online daters become addicted to the process and accustomed to easily disposing of people they’ve met. Make it a point not to take rejections personally. You can’t let your self-worth and confidence break down because of strangers over the Internet.
A Proper Profile
Have a friend or family member whom you can trust to look over your profile or allow us to create your Irresistible Profile to help you attract your dream date and to ensure that it accurately represents who you are. Honesty is the best policy, especially in regards to photos. Oprah.com’s “Tips for Successful Online Dating” recommends that online daters keep pictures “recent and real.” Posted pictures should be taken within the last six months and include both a headshot and full-body shot. Also, avoid pictures with props and try not to post pictures taken with other people.
At Cyber-Dating Expert, we believe in authenticity from the onset and wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and was an early adopter of online dating. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating and coaches singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Our friends at YourTango just completed their Dating in a Digital Age survey and found that 63% of singles are using online dating sites to find a serious relationship.
Of those surveyed, 95% said they have used Facebook to find a date. This number is enormous and does give hope to singles that cyber love is truly a way of everyday life.
So how do you make sure you’re putting your best digital foot forward?
Let’s start with amping up your Facebook profile.
Putting the best primary photo you can possibly find is key to your success in finding love on Facebook. Posting a photo with your BFF is off-limits. One with your cousin is also off the list if you’re single. It can send confusing messages and you won’t know for sure that someone is single. Posting no photo at all is as obsolete as the fax machine or VHS player. Remember, your photo will appear in a search, even to non-friends who would like to connect with you.
The YourTango study confirmed this as they found that two-thirds would not go on a date with someone whose profile contains no photos.
Think you’re too shy to let someone know you’re single? Think again. Not posting you’re relationship status as “Single” or “Divorced” doesn’t mean you’re desperate. It means you’re stating your intention that you’re available for a relationship. On Facebook Love Stories, you’ll read the heartwarming story of Taunia and Jake. When Taunia changed her relationship status to “Divorced,” she became reunited with a former boyfriend from twenty years earlier. The two got engaged at the Eiffel Tower in Paris and will be getting married this summer. Is that worth the free advertising on Facebook if you want to find love? We think so.
BECOME A FACEBOOK FLIRT
If you have a digital crush on someone, spend time occasionally “liking” and commenting on his or her posts. Don’t overdo it, as you don’t want to come across as an obsessed cyber-stalking type. It’s digital foreplay and it’s amazing how it really works.
WATCH WHAT YOU POST
Posting photos and party shots over-and-over again might not send the message that you’re relationship material. Make sure your posts are varied and not all about you. Ask engaging questions in your posts and thank those who comment. Even if he or she won’t be the love of your life, think about their extended social network. Who doesn’t want to play digital matchmaker?
Are you flirting on Facebook? Do you think Facebook could be the world’s largest dating site? You’re comments are welcome.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and Facebook Love Stories. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more digital dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and visit our Cyber-Dating Expert and Facebook Love Stories pages.
In a Harris Interactive study, commissioned by eHarmony, the new statistics show that over 1/3 of recent marriages have actually met online. This clearly shows that more people are interested in finding a serious relationship through a digital connection. The findings were published in the journal, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. The study, titled “Marital satisfaction and break-ups differ across on-line and off-line meeting venues,” is based on a survey of almost 20,000 people who wed between 2005 and 2012.
Just how much more satisfied are these relationships? On a scale of 1-10, relationships from online dating ranked 5.64 as compared to offline relationships at 5.48. Of those who met online, 45% met in a traditional online dating site and almost 21% met on a social networking site.
To be successful in online dating, I believe that you need to be very specific in what you’re looking for. More-and-more people are joining online dating sites for the first time, due to divorce, death of a spouse, or relationships running their course.
Earlier this year, we launched Facebook Love Stories to focus on the large amount of couples who are finding love through social networking sites.
So does online dating work? It certainly does, but you need to be patient and diligent in the process if you’re seriously interested in finding love on the Internet. Those who give up after a week or a month will be naysayers, but those who understand that finding love or a life partner is probably more important than finding your next job, should take the time and enjoy the journey.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and dating coach. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Julie creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt.
Meet Lauren who signed up for Online Dating BootCamp with Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira. In a video series on YourTango, we’ll follow her progress while she looks for love online.
Lauren has a new profile on Match and has high hopes that she’ll find someone to marry.
In this video, you’ll find out how to create a catchy screen name, learn the best number of photos to include in an Internet dating profile, and how to describe exactly what you’re looking for.
When you’ve signed up for an online dating site, at first you’ll be dating multiple people. We know it can be expensive. Then suddenly you meet the perfect girl online. Your phone chemistry is off the charts. The first date went so well, that you can’t wait to see her again. You’d like to show up with a dozen roses or provide a posh mode of transportation for your evening on the town to impress her. But what if you don’t have a lot of money and your credit is on the low end? It’s not uncommon with today’s economic shift to feel financially strapped while dating. Finding love online can be euphoric or cause a bit of anxiety in the early days.
The relationship between money and dating causes unnecessary stress for both men and women. Women want men who are financially secure. Men want women they’re attracted to who would fall in love with them, instead of their bank account.
So what should you do to impress her without breaking the bank? I believe that bringing a dozen tulips, costing 1/3 of the price will put a big smile on her face, but if you’d like to eventually splurge on a romantic vacation, it might be time to fix your credit and avoid spending more than you can afford.
While you’re getting your financial house in order, you still can impress a date with fun and inexpensive activities.
Nifty Date Ideas has several affordable suggestions for your next online date.
- Take your date to a remote spot to watch the sunset and bring a picnic lunch or dinner. If you live in a northern climate and the Aurora Borealis or a meteor shower can be seen that night, you could make an exception.
- Perform community service such as going to a community center to volunteer, planting flowers for a neighbor or shoveling snow.
- Playing board games is inexpensive, and there’s a wide range of games available: Monopoly, Candy Land or Sorry.
- Take your date on a nature walk and pick raspberries or blackberries. Eat them along the walk or save them in buckets to make a pie or tart.
- Remember the fun of school field trips? Take a free factory tour or visit a historical building to relive those grade-school excursions.
- Visit a library or bookstore, find a cozy corner and browse through books or magazines. You can also rent audiobooks or movies at most local libraries. The spot might have a coffee shop, so you can discuss what you read over a hot mocha or latte.
There’s no need to go into debt to impress your next date. You should still take some time to repair your credit in the next 6-12 months and be responsible about not spending more than you can afford.
How to Improve Your Score
Money problems is one of the top reasons for a relationship to split up. If your credit rating is low and your long-term goals are to find someone to spend the rest of your life with and even possibly buy a home or lease a car, it’s a good idea to start working on improving your credit score. MSN Money suggests you start by opening a line of credit through a credit card. It states you don’t need to carry a balance to have good scores; it’s a myth. Consider a secured credit card if you can’t open a traditional credit card. The issuing bank gives you a credit line equal to the deposit you make for a secured card. MSN Money says paying off your mortgage, auto and student loans can help, but not as dramatically as paying off accounts such as credit cards. Pay your bills on time and, if you can, pay more than the balance due.
If you want to improve your credit in a bigger way, consider getting a used car. Used cars are a good choice because a car that is only a year old is 20 to 30 percent cheaper than a new car, according to Edmunds.com. And it’s possible to get a regular interest rate, even with poor credit. A person with good credit will usually get an interest rate on a used car between 5 and 7 percent, while many auto companies and lenders will finance a vehicle or OK a loan from 6.7 to 13.5 percent, according to bankrate.com.
Have you managed to find fun and affordable dates?
Your comments are welcome.
In an hour-long segment, we covered the dos and don’ts for cyberdating, the pros and cons of doing a Google search on your date, and how to spot fake online dating profiles.
Learn more about dating in a web 2.0 world.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter
In the April issue of Glamour magazine, I’m quoted along with Chemistry.com’s Dr. Helen Fisher in an article, Stop Googling Your Dates!
Becoming a Cyber-sleuth in your pre-dating phase I believe is detrimental to getting to know someone.
The digital pre-date can last for several hours in front of your computer. From Facebook to Linkedin, Google, and Twitter, you may find yourself excited at one article where your date won a prestigious award, and then in the next moment, cringing when you see his party photos.
“….pre-dating makes you feel like you already “know”each other by the first date. You get this false, euphoric sense of security that you’re in a relationship. Pre-dating accelerates your entire courtship. Just remember, that you really don’t know him; you just think you do…”
As technology continues to develop, a Google search may become as passé as the fax machine. With Google Image Search, one can now find your photo on the Internet or on an online dating site, upload it to Google Image Search and possibly find out your date’s first and last name. Once that piece of the puzzle is solved, the digital door is wide-open.
Take for example a phone call that I recently received from a man whom I did not know. I shared this story on Huffington Post in an article, Google Image Search – Can it Replace Online Dating Sites?
In this scenario, a man I never met uploaded one of my photos he found online. It led him to my media page, YouTube channel, book page, and provided him with details of where I lived and the restaurants I was a regular patron of. Was this creepy? You better believe it. Whether he meant it when he said he wanted to sweep me off my feet or not, I decided against meeting him. Did I miss out on meeting the one? Perhaps next time, he’ll think twice about Googling and telling.
Do you Google your dates before you meet them? Have you checked Facebook to see if you have friends in common or what pages they’ve “liked?” Would you use Google Image Search to widen the opportunities to meet other singles?
At the end of the digital day, you can run, but you can’t hide.
Your comments are welcome.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
We know that you’re excited about your upcoming date or new relationship, but are you both on the same digital page?
Here are some Dos and Don’ts on how to handle social media and love on February 14th.
DO: send a fun and flirty “Happy Valentine’s Day” text to the person you’ll be spending the holiday with. It will generate excitement leading up to your date.
DON’T: Keep your phone on the table during the date or check text messages. It sends a message that someone else is more important than you are.
DO: Send a text message inviting them for a SKYPE date if you can’t be together or if they live out of town.
DON’T: Post photos of the two of you as a couple on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram unless both of you decide together that you don’t mind your extended network to view your whereabouts.
DO: Post a photo of the cute red or pink dress you might be wearing on your date.
DON’T: Tag your new boyfriend on Facebook. Chances are he hasn’t told his buddies and work pals about his Valentine’s plans.
DO: Post a photo if you’ve received flowers, a fun gift, or of the dessert at dinner. Everyone loves to view the photos and will cheer you on with “likes.”
DON’T: Post your Happy Valentine’s message on your date’s wall. Saying you can’t wait until the evening together should remain private. Remember, a simple post may be innocent. However your friends might wonder what kind of wild night the two of you will be having. Or worse yet, his ex-girlfriend might start posting inappropriate comments to ruin your evening.
DO: Send a digital gift, such as his or her favorite band on iTunes, an e-card, or a redeemable gift card to a store or restaurant.
DON’T: Send a musical montage of “I Love You” songs if you haven’t said those three little words yet.
DO: Ask for permission before you post anything online. Remember you’re creating a permanent digital footprint and your status and photos can be shared, even by people you don’t know.
DON’T: Overshare. Remember, many of your friends are single and may not be enjoying the day.
DO: Make an exciting announcement. If you become engaged on Valentine’s Day, your friends will want to know.
DON’T: Change your Facebook relationship status to “In a Relationship” until both of you have had the talk and agree to be on the same digital page.
Do you have any social media rules for Valentine’s Day?
Your comments are welcome.
Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and The Rules of Netiquette. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
With Valentine’s Day just a month away, singles are thinking about red hearts and online dating sites are seeing record activity.
According to CNN, some online dating sites have surged by up to 350% in the past two months, so singles looking for love online can have more choices to find a date or mate for the holiday season.
So how can you ramp up your search in the next 30 days?
Here are 5 tips that will shorten the search so you can ride into the digital sunset together.
1. Become a Social Dater. If you’re constantly updating your status on Facebook and posting new photos on Instagram, Pinterest, and Flickr, go ahead and share some of those on your online dating profile as well. Toss out the outdated blurry photos, group shots, and the arm hanging over your shoulder and replace them with newer photos that reflect who you are today. Remember to post a caption under the photos and add the date they were taken, so your potential suitors can see there’s truth-in-advertising
2. Don’t Wait, Initiate. I know the “Rules” book says a woman should never ever contact a man, but I disagree with this one. There’s a fine line between chasing a guy and playing hard-to-get. Playing the waiting game won’t fill your date card. Sure if you call a guy all the time, you might be considered needy, but most men are so frustrated with writing to women online who never respond. Your quick introduction email will be refreshing to him. Send a flirt, wink, or a nudge, if you’d like to subtly get his attention. Rate his profile or let him know you’ve viewed it, so he can see you’re interested.
3. Flirt on Facebook. Finding love on the world’s largest social network will expand your search. Facebook reported that 40.5% of their members changed their relationship status in 2012 to “Single,” as compared to 29.2% who changed their status to “In a Relationship.” Check out Facebook chat and see if someone who captures your eye is online and start the conversation. Go ahead an Poke someone and see if it’s returned like a digital boomerang.
4. Log on Daily. If you keep your online dating profile hidden with the fear that you’ll look desperate, the result is you just won’t get found as easily. Change your settings to being visible while logged on, so you can show up higher in a search. Take it one step further and turn on the chat and instant message feature. It’s time to start flirting online.
5. Practice the Magic of 5. If you’d go on a few job interviews every day to find your dream position, shouldn’t you do the same with your personal life? Go ahead and book five dates a week. Sound overwhelming? Not really. Schedule two coffee dates, one lunch date, and two dates for drinks to fill your calendar with potential male suitors. By the weekend, you should have date number two on your calendar. Even if you don’t meet “the one,” you’ll be expanding your social network. I call it casting a wide net. You never know if a party invitation will follow.
Practice these five tips from now until Valentine’s Day and look forward to the possibility of finding love online.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert, bestselling author and the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
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