Is Creating an Excel Spreadsheet for Dating Creepy or Smart?
The financial guy whose online dating excel spreadsheet was spread all of the Internet was big news this week. Dealbreaker broke the story and he became the laughing stock in the dating world.
As an online dating expert, I’m here to defend him. I believe that online dating is a numbers game. In fact, when I coach singles on finding love online, I create a Microsoft excel spreadsheet for them to be organized, and I’ve been doing this for over 15 years. I’ve also written about the use of excel spreadsheets in my bestselling book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, which was released in 2009.
Sure, financial guy’s comments shouldn’t have been shared with his date. Even though she was number one on the list, remember anything that you send via email can be, and assume will be shared. Whether he likes his women hot or young is not the issue.
Looking for love online, if you’re truly serious about it can be compared to looking for a job. A well-organized job seeker will be more successful in finding his dream job. So will a well-organized dater.
So to those of you who have commented that this guy was creepy, I have to disagree. He appears to be a smart and busy businessman. Busy executive and CEOs don’t have a lot of free time to date, but they certainly spend a lot of time on their computers and mobile phones.
The only dating advice I can offer is to not should share your private information about your other dates with someone you’re dating. I’m sure financial guy learned his lesson well. Sometimes men and women are on a need-to-know basis. His date didn’t need to know about the other women he was pursuing.
Would you create a spreadsheet to organize your dates?
Your comments are welcome.
Julie Spira is an online dating and netiquette expert. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
Online Dating in a Klout World – Tawkify Speaks Out
Most singles who I coach on finding love online aren’t aware of Klout, social media reputation, or the marriage of social media and technology.
Perhaps they see their percentages of a Match on OkCupid with their Quiver matches, where a 90+ match is worth responding to.
Often they’re matched up on Chemistry.com with their Builder/Negotiator, Explorer/Director, created by biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher.
Most singles just want to find love, with any algorithm they can find.
So what happens when you marry a new dating site, Tawkify, created by Cyber-Dating Expert’s friend and Elle columnist E. Jean Carroll, with social influence site Klout? Talkify is the first dating site to partner with Klout to use the Klout scores as a measurement of allure and as a prediction of falling in love. Curious to hear more?
E. Jean tells Klout, “In a series of blind experiments (the thirty couples we matched were not told we were using their Klout Scores), we’ve found that Klout Scores will predict the brilliance or dullness of match—-and how quickly people will click.”
I have to admit, I do check my Klout score daily and it’s been steady at 61 for a while, where I’m labeled a “Broadcaster.” I now qualify for Tawkify’s “Red Carpet Vip Service.” Does that mean I need to meet someone else who is social media savvy with a 60+ score? Not really as the best relationships I’ve been in are with men who don’t tweet. I’m excited to see how the two will work together and would be curious to see if a Klout personality type of “Broadcaster” will match nicely with a “Thought Leader” or “Celebrity” with an “Observer,” or even “Pundit” with a “Specialist.”
So how does Tawkify work? You fill out a profile, answer ten questions and on Monday night your phone rings with a match. I’m hoping if there’s no match, that they won’t deduct the credit from your account. Prices range from $8 for one match to $1499 for the miracle worker.(with a special New York Times offer of $250.
Another brand that I admire who has partnered with Klout is fashion site Gilt, where you get discounts based upon your Klout score. We’ll be excited to share a Klout love story any day in our Cyber Love Story of the Week.
At the end of the digital day, online dating has finally moved to what I call social dating, and it’s here to stay.
Question: Would you value your date’s Klout score? Would you take a digital peek before deciding to go on a date?
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and social media strategist. She’s the CEO and Editor-in-Chief at CyberDatingExpert.com. As an early adopter of online dating, Julie created her first profile in 1994. Today, she writes irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and is an expert in mobile dating. For more dating advice, Like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Online Dating Tips for Spring Fever
Whether your relationship recently ended, are newly divorced, or have taken a break from dating, we’re here to help you with your digital search. These lucky seven tips will speed the process so you won’t be wasting your time with Mr. or Ms. Wrong this spring.
1. Be open to all of the possibilities. With the change of seasons comes a new attitude, both online and offline. Outdoor cafes are filled with patrons again. Convertible tops are down, and it’s time to tune up your flirting techniques and jump back on the online dating saddle.
2. Dress it up. Appearance counts online and offline. After all, isn’t it your goal to turn that online romance into an offline relationship? Spend an afternoon spring-cleaning session in your very own closet. Recycle a dress or outfit in your closet and make it your first date outfit.
3. Sensual Scent. Try a fresh new perfume or cologne to wear on your first online date. Hopefully your date won’t be allergic and will find your new scent appealing enough to put a second date on the calendar.
4. Going Mobile! Why wait to go home to meet your dream date? Download a mobile dating app and respond to your date’s email while it’s still fresh in your inbox. Here’s the Mobile Dating Expert’s list with some of our favorites.
5. Turn on your webcam. Many online dating sites now offer webcam or video chat as part of their features. Go ahead and put on your lipstick and comb your hair. Remember to smile. It’s show time. By using video chat, your potential honey will know it’s the real you and not your younger sister. This will prevent that disappointing look one receives when the photos of their online dates don’t match up in real life.
6. Renew and Refresh. If you’ve let your online dating account expire, go ahead and renew your membership. Refresh your profile with new photos and a new catchy screen name. Need a little help? Check out IRRESISTIBLE profiles, and we’ll help you in your quest to find love online.
7. It’s a numbers game. We know that online dating can be a lot of work and is time consuming. So is finding your dream job and working out at the gym. Allocate an hour a day every day to your online dating site. Respond to, or write to at least 5 online profiles every day for one week and see what happens. Check out who’s viewed your profile or added you to their favorites or hot lists and send them an email. Initiate the conversation and you may find someone who will be so flattered to hear from you.
If you are lucky in love and meet the one online, let us know. We may feature you in the Cyber Love Story of the Week.
~The Cyber-Dating Expert Team.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and Editor-in-Chief at CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Online Dating Advice on Planet Love Match
It was an honor to be a guest on Planet Love Match Radio with hosts Jen Tapiero and Josh Nasar. Some dating advice included what to put in your online dating profile as well as topics to avoid. Learn what makes a profile irresistible with dating tips for singles looking for love online. Also in this episode, Quentin Aaron, from The Blind Side joined the show and talked about his views on dating.
For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Julie Spira is a cyber-relations and online dating expert. She’s the Editor-in-Chief at CyberDatingExpert.com and writes irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene.
Online Dating Advice – How Many People Should I Talk to At Once?
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert
We’ve all heard that online dating is a numbers game. 122 million worldwide to be exact according to ComScore’s research.
When we created Jerry’s irresistible profile, [winks, emails, and IMs, oh my!] his response was “OMG, this stuff is like crack!” While we want you to fall in love and give you many tools to do so, we certainly don’t want to create a universe of online dating addicts.
Having too many conversations at once or viewing too many profiles doesn’t mean you’re going to be successful with the process. As a matter of fact, it could actually backfire on you.
The first week your profile is active is always the busiest time. It then settles down to a more manageable pace. Those who winked at you or flirted with you without a profile are probably not paying members or are not serious about the process, so unless you like their profile, you can just ignore them. If you like the profile, don’t wink or flirt back. Be bold and send an email saying hello. You can even thank them for the wink to let them know you’ve noticed.
I recommended to Jerry that he shouldn’t communicate with more than 5 people at a time. Limiting the ongoing communication will give you the opportunity to get to know someone. If the online conversation goes well, then schedule a phone date. If you feel like you’re at the dentist’s office where someone is pulling teeth, don’t schedule a date.
I shared my thoughts in the ask the dating experts column on Sparkology on how to politely say you’re not interested.
More often-than-not, online messages are ignored. Don’t start humming to the Nick Lowe song, “You’ve Got to be Cruel to be Kind” if you decide to respond. Say thank you, but add that you don’t feel you have enough in common to pursue a relationship, or let them know if they’re out of your geographic location or age range.
Wishing you much joy and love in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and cyber-relations expert. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Like us at Facebook.com/cyberdatingexpert for more dating advice.
Cyber Love Links – Links to Love When You’re in the Mood for Love
We hope you’re enjoying your holiday weekend. It’s time to share our favorite stories shared on Twitter and on our site this week.
A timely post from our friends at YourTango answers the question that mystifies many as to when is the right time to introduce your new GF or BF to your family. Is it the Right Time to Bring Him Home for Easter or Passover? They were kind enough to include our recent video, What is Mobile Dating? at the end of the holiday post.
In her Love & Gratitude column, Rita Watson shared her inspiration on Psychology Today with Come to the Table of Love: An Easter and Passover Tradition.
Our friends at Zoosk announced their new Couples Profiles where you can continue sharing your love milestones on a combined profile. Our favorite Infographic this week comes from FreeDating.co.uk on Dating in a Virtual World. Find out if gentlemen prefer blondes and who falls in love at first sight the most.
Still nervous about online dating? Apparently Sinead O’Connor is looking for love online. Her profile is on Plenty of Fish and we wrote about celebrities who have joined online dating sites. Chemistry.com released their latest Top 10 Cities Survey that was a hot tweet with results that will increase or decrease your passion, depending on where you live.
Over at Glamour.com, we fell in digital love with this story, 10 Stellar Responses to Use the Next Time Some Rude Person Asks, “Why Are You Still Single?
Our favorite Quote of the Day came from BFFTips.com, ”If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t, nothing will make him stay.”
If you missed our Weekly Flirt, you can sign up here.
Wishing you much love and joy in Cyberspace, or wherever you man roam.
~The Cyber-Dating Expert Team
Like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Dating and Love in a Web 2.0 World [infographic]
We love Infographics showing the latest trends in online and social dating and couldn’t wait to share this latest one with you.
Some old standards remain to this day, including 49% of singles look at physical characteristics and 64% are interested in dating someone with common interests, but 27% of women are reporting they’ve been dumped in an email, text, or IM. Guys, where are your digital manners? We’re still happy though that 54% of men have experienced love at first sight, so romance is still alive and well.
Since “Brunette” is the new “black,” we had to point out that 60% of men prefer dark hair over blonde.
Enjoy!
~The Cyber-Dating Expert Team
Dating in a Virtual World by Free Dating.co.uk
For online dating advice, Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Zoosk Encourages Couples to Share Their Romantic Journey
From the first kiss to will you marry me and beyond, our friends at Zoosk are encouraging their success couples to share their romantic milestones and hang around once their relationship has become official.
Redefining themselves as “the romantic network,” they’ve announced a new feature called “Couples Profiles,” where happy couples can create a joint profile to highlight their romantic journey.
Zoosk co-founder Shayan Zadeh and a friend of Cyber-Dating Expert tells us, “Zoosk started by helping singles find a partner to begin their romantic journey. Yet when we helped two people find each other and develop a relationship they left Zoosk and there was no dedicated place online for them to share their romantic journey. Our new Couple Profiles offering provides couples with a place to share their romantic milestones and memories online in a joint profile that can be shared with friends. As we continue to develop Couple Profiles, we have plans to add many more features.”
This makes a lot of sense as Facebook’s timeline also features these important relationship milestones, however not on a single profile.
Watch their video to see the features of “Couples Profiles” and feel free to chime in with your thoughts.
Julie Spira is the leading online dating expert, bestselling author, and CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating and relationship advice, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and sign up for our Weekly Flirt Dating advice newsletter. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
Finding Love Online – Tonya Hall Radio Show
Join online dating expert Julie Spira as she returns to The Tonya Hall Show on KCRN, The Radio Colorado Network on Friday, March 30, 2012. We’ll be talking about social dating, love and romance in a web 2.0 world.
The online dating industry is continuing to grow at rapid speed with thousands of sites to choose from. Julie and Tonya will talk about how to stand out in the crowded digital marketplace and how to embrace mobile dating.
Should you be sending that Facebook friends request to someone you just started dating? Will you talk about searching him or her on Google? Should you send a text message to confirm?
Call in at 855-464-5905 at 8am/pacific time with your questions. We’ll be discussing this and more on The Tonya Hall Show.
3 First-Date Mistakes You Should Never Make
Our friends at We Love Dates released an Infographic that would make any online dater pause and take a look. We’re happy to include a special guest post from them with dating and relationship tips to help prevent you from making some first date mistakes when you finally meet someone you truly do like.
Have you ever come home after a first date that you thought went well, only to never hear from him or her again? It’s pretty safe to say that you have. There will always be much left to the unknown when it comes to first dates (that’s partly what makes them so exciting) here are a few first date mistakes that you might not even know you’ve made…until your phone stops ringing.
1. Don’t Assume There Is Going To Be a Second Date
First dates are your one chance to make a lasting first impression. Don’t count on future opportunities. Make sure you’re in the right frame of mind and own it. In addition, don’t make plans for the future, especially if the feelings aren’t mutual. Avoid conversations such as, “We should do that, let’s go there, we should plan it…” Let second dates evolve naturally.
2. Sharing Isn’t Always Caring
Remind yourself that this person is, quite literally, a virtual stranger. There is no need to share your every thought and feeling with them, or spill the messy details of your last break-up. Forget bringing up the latest drama of your girlfriends. He really doesn’t want to know. Remember to keep it light and easy when you first meet.
3. Don’t Drag It On
If you see there’s no chemistry in the first 15-minutes of your date, why drag it on for another hour-or-two? Keep the date brief as a meet-and-greet. Thank your date for taking the time to meet and move on.
Have you ever made any first date mistakes that you regret? We’d like to hear your stories.
This dating advice post was contributed by We Love Dates. View their infographic here: first date survival guide infographic.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert, bestselling author, and the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
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