5 Ways to Look and Feel Red Hot on Valentine’s Day

Wondering if you should wear red or pink this Valentine’s Day? I’m a firm believer that red the perfect color to wear year-round for your online dating profile, as well as on a first date. But don’t take my word for it. I reached out to Image Consultant Kimberly Seltzer, who agreed, it’s best to be the Lady in Red this Valentine’s Day. Kimberly compares Valentine’s outfits to Halloween for a little bit of fun.

“Both holidays give you a chance to dress up and perhaps wear something a little risqué that you perhaps wouldn’t normally wear,” says Kimberly.  “No matter if you are celebrating with your man, going out with your girlfriends to attract a new one or just pampering yourself on Valentine’s Day, put on something that makes you feel special, alive and sexy.” Seltzer encourages singles and women in a relationship to put on their little black dress, throw on a pair of high heels and pile on the vanilla-flavored lip-gloss.

Here are Kimberly’s 5 easy red-hot tips that will surely shoot an arrow right into any man’s heart.

1.     Feel Sexy—What men find sexy in a woman is when she herself feels sexy.   Men notice your sexual confidence in the way you dress, walk, move your body and smile.  Wear something that makes you feel sexy and sensual.   So put on a dress that you feel confident and a little daring in.  This doesn’t mean you have to show your mid-drift or fall out of your dress. Guys would much rather undress you with their eyes and leave things to the imagination than display it all right there.  Part of being sexy is leaving them with a sense of intrigue and curiosity.  If you give it all away to them, they may not have the desire to want more.  For example, wear a fitted red dress that shows your curves and just teases the man with a low cut-out back.  Or perhaps you want to go more casual and sport a leather jacket with a lacy cami peeking through.

Use fabrics that are great against your skin and touchable. Cashmere, silky satin, and buttery soft suedes are the real scene-stealers. Touchable fabrics not only invite another’s touch, they have the added bonus of feeling great against your skin so you feel pampered and sexy.  Find fun and unique ways to express your sensuality!

2.      Dress Feminine—Men absolutely love a soft womanly touch.  A dress, skirt and heels can make any man’s heart skip a beat.  Display your feminine sexuality with flowing hair or an attractive hairdo, nice nails, makeup and discreet displays of bare skin, plus colorful clothes and jewelry that are eye-catching signs of femininity.  And ladies, no corporate blazers please!  Your dress should be flirty, flowy and gorgeous.  Perhaps it is romantic and completely easy like a soft silk in a red and off-white combination.  Or maybe it is a tight fitted LBD worn with sleek patent red pumps.  And while you are at it, remember to laugh, smile, create softness and be light and open on your date with your man.  He’ll appreciate your receptive and delicate attitude and style.

3.     Wear Heels—A man will love the way you move in a pair of high heels.  There are three reasons why men’s jaw drop when you slip on the stilettos.  They love the way the shoes make your legs look, how they make you walk and move your body and how it exudes femininity.  Find the perfect footwear to go with that Valentine’s dress.  Think sexy, strappy, sparkly and high!  Feel a little unsteady in the skyscrapers?  Try a pair of platforms with a thicker heel to give you more support.

4.     Smell Amazing—Explore a new signature fragrance that captures your man’s attention.  Several studies show that vanilla-flavored perfumes can intoxicate his senses.  But perhaps he prefers something a little fresh and floral with a hint of citrus.  Notice those fragrances that get a reaction and go with it!  You might also want to try a new body lotion to put all over your body in unexpected places.

5.   Be Daring and Add A Surprise—If you have been with your beau for a while, most likely there is an element of monotony in your relationship and in the way you dress.  Even if you are going out with your girlfriends or you are with a new man, it’s important to infuse a little variety in your life which can help you give off new and exciting energy.  Spice things up by wearing something a little different for you.  Perhaps you secretly wear a new red lacy thong with a matching bra under your Valentine’s dress.  Or nothing attracts attention quite like a hat. First, it takes guts to wear one.  Second, it takes panache to carry it off.  Combine the two qualities and you get major sex appeal.

Whatever you decide to wear, enhancing and focusing on your Valentine attitude and your wardrobe will boost the way you feel about yourself, thus boosting your chances for love on this special day.

Visit Kimberly at www.eliteimagemakeovers.com for a complete dating image consultation.

Summer Fashion Dos and Dont’s for Daters

We’re in the middle of summer now, but some singles are just starting to date again. Finding the right outfit to make that terrific first impression in your online dating profile or on a first date is really important.

Our friends at Match.com polled some of their members to find out what they prefer seeing their date wearing and I’m tossing in some of my fashion favorites for both men and women for the season.

Women

Do wear long hair in braids. It’s fun and flirty and not just for children anymore.

Don’t wear a low cut dress or top. There’s no need to show off your cleavage on a first date, unless you’re anxious to head to the bedroom.

Do wear white pants on a date. Take advantage of the clean feeling of bright white in the summer time.

Don’t wear flip flops. Men still like the look of a heel on a woman. Unless you’re taking a beach walk, wear a high-heeled open toe sandal.

Do wear a short skirt or dress. Short and sexy will never go out of style.

Men

Do wear khaki’s. It’s simple and conservative. You can’t go wrong with this look combined with a polo shirt.

Don’t wear a Hawaiian shirt. Bright patterns are distracting and out-of-style.

Do wear aviator sunglasses. Women find this look sexy on an outdoor date. Remember when you go inside, take them off so she can glance at your eyes.

Don’t wear a Speedo. Never ever wear a Speedo or she’ll speed out of there faster than you can imagine. Try wearing conservative swimsuit or shorts if you’re headed to the beach.

Do wear a vee neck tee shirt or cardian sweater. This casual look for the summer may make her eyes melt.

Do you have a favorite summer fashion look? Your comments and suggestions are always welcome.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert, bestselling author, and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible online dating profiles for singles on the dating scene. Follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira for dating advice and like her at facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert

When In Doubt, Wear Red

Design by Susana Mercedes

I have always believed in the significance of wearing red on a first date.

Here’s what we intuitively know about the color red:

• Red is the color of love.
• Red ignites passion.
• Red is the signature color for Valentine’s Day.
• You give red roses to a blue lady.
• Red is sexy.
• Red is a powerful color for women in the bedroom and the boardroom.
• Red stimulates the heart to beat faster.

Recently, I wrote an article on Huffington Post about why men were attracted to women who wore red. This behavior was backed up by a research study from the European Journal of Social Psychology called *”Red and Romantic Behavior in Viewing Women.”

In the above mentioned study,  male undergraduates were shown photographs of young adult women. Some women were wearing the color green and others were wearing red. As they were looking at photos alone, the study showed similar behaviors to those who would view women’s profiles on an online dating site. The men appeared to ask more forward questions to the women in red as compared to the generic questions asked of the women wearing green.

While wearing red won’t guarantee a marriage proposal,  it is more likely that it will result in more forward conversations according to the study.

I have been recommending that women wear red on their first dates with men for many years. My online dating profile always had a photo of me wearing red. The man who proposed to me, who I met on JDate, affectionately called me “The Lady in Red.”

Red might not be your favorite color, but wearing red when going to singles events and meeting men for the first time will capture the attention of the men in the room. I feel so strongly about the color red, that cover of my book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating shows a girl wearing a red dress getting ready for a date. We know that men are visual and are likely to remember what you wore on your first date, so why not wear red to make your first impression?

Wearing red to attract men is so powerful, that the Jewish Journal came to my home earlier this year to shoot a video with some of my expert online dating tips. Where did they start? In my closet of course. They wanted me to talk about the red dresses that were worn on many first dates. Men and women everywhere are backing up the research from the experts in the recent study on the color of red.

Does that mean I think you should toss out your favorite green shirt? No. But since first impressions do matter and men are looking at hundreds of photos every time they log online looking for love, perhaps wearing red isn’t such a bad idea at all. You have a split second to make an impression online and having a profile photo and catchy screen name to draw a man in, is important. Men are, and always will be visual. Once you get past the color test, it’s time to show him the authentic you and let your personality shine.

*”Red and Romantic Behavior in Men Viewing Women,” Daniela Niesta Kayser, Andrew J. Elliot, Roger Feltman, European Journal of Social Psychology (October, 2010)

How To Flirt On Halloween

There’s no doubt about it. Halloween is one of the most fun holidays for singles and couples of all ages. Dressing up for Halloween is an absolute must. Halloween costume stores start popping up in August and visits to the pumpkin patch are in abundance.

So how does a single person enjoy this fun and flirty holiday? I believe that Halloween gives you permission to jump out of your comfort zone and become more approachable. Besides the youthful trick-or-treaters ringing your doorbell,  singles holiday parties are in abundance. I suggest you RSVP to as many as possible, grab a few friends and go out with a smile on your face along with a devilish grin.

In preparation for Halloween, it’s also a good time to brush up on your flirting skills. Dr. Pat Allen, author of “Getting to I Do” and one of my mentors,  teaches the 5-second flirt technique and encourages singles to flirt with 5 men every day and gaze into their eyes for five very long seconds.  Although it’s a challenge and may seem like an eternity, on Halloween it should be a piece of cake, or at least a handful of candy corn.

Let’s start with selecting your sexy Halloween costume. Although you wouldn’t dress like this on a first date, you now have permission to show some skin without the expectation of jumping into the bedroom. Some of my favorites are from Leg Avenue. Check out the selection at Pure Delish, will give you free shipping on orders of $75 or more.

Halloween Cheerleader

1. The Cheerleader. What guy didn’t fantasize about being with a cheerleader in high school? Now’s his chance with this sexier version guaranteed to put a smile on his face. Cost $38.

Halloween - French Maid

2. The French Maid. This class Halloween costume never goes out of style. Now’s your chance to flirt with him with your duster in tow. Who knows just where he might be ticklish? Cost $65.

Halloween - Queen of Hearts

3. Queen of Hearts. Poker night will never be the same after he sees you in this Queen of Hearts outfit. Approach him and make a bet. See if he ups the ante.  Price $75.

Now that you have your costume selections ready to go, look at your local calendar section for Halloween parties. From charity events to speed dating to Haunted House parties, there are events going on all week long. Take advantage of the fact that Halloween is on a Sunday. That means from Thursday-Sunday you can get the most of out of your Halloween costume and practice the art of flirting on men who are dressed like Tarzan and George Clooney.

Don’t forget to bring your camera or Flip video and set your camera settings to movie. Go up to that cute guy and compliment him on his costume and ask if you can take his photo. Better yet, jump into the shot and have your friend take a picture of you and that hot guy. Then ask him if you can friend him on Facebook or email him the photos.

At the end of the week, you can memorialize your Halloween festivities in a video on YouTube or upload the photos to Facebook. Go ahead and tag him, he’ll be flattered that you took the time to do so.

Julie Spira is a worldwide authority in online dating and a dating advice columnist. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com where you can share your Internet dating stories. Follow her on Twitter @JulieSpira.

5 Ways for Singles to Get Ready to Mingle

My friend and relationship expert Lisa Steadman is celebrating all month long. The best-selling author has created a 30-day challenge to help singles find love during the month of June. As part of this month-long celebration, I have offered my dating advice on How to be Single and Ready to Mingle.

If you’re newly single and you’re waiting for your friends to fix you up,  before the phone starts to ring with potential dates excited about meeting you, you need to get in shape. Just like exercising before the summer to lose weight and fit into that bikini, you need to get ready to go out there and shine like the star that you are.

Here are some of my favorite pre-dating tips on how to get ready for your hot date.

1. Leave the Baggage Behind. If you are still pining away for your ex, have a conversation with yourself about why you are no longer together. Better yet, take a piece of paper and write down some of the negative traits to remind you it’s time to move on. Was he controlling? Did he have a roving eye? A bit too jealous? You need to dismantle him from the pedestal he was on and get ready for a new and exciting beginning. No guy is going to want to hear about the one who broke your heart. I have a saying, “Every Relationship Serves a Purpose, But is Limited.” Stand in front of the mirror and repeat it. It truly works.

2. Dress the Part. How you dress tells a story. Men love to unwrap the package, so don’t reveal too much. A man will undress you with his eyes, even on your first date. It doesn’t mean he’s ready to jump into bed with you. Be subtle, and it’s still sexy. It’s just not an instant invitation to the bedroom.

3. Embrace Your Girlfriend Network. Let everyone you know you would like to be fixed up. Mention it at the nail salon and hairdresser. Have a conversation at the post office with someone you might recognize. Find a supportive network of women who are single and can understand what it’s like to be in between relationships. Create a “Girls Night Out” which could include a movie with pre or post film cocktails. Dress flirty and smile. Let the men wonder, “Who’s that Girl?”

4. Practice the Art of Flirting. Smile at men at the grocery store. Introduce yourself to the cute guy on the airplane. Compliment a man on his stylish tie at a business mixer. Even if you aren’t meeting the one, perhaps he has a friend he can introduce you to.

5. Cast a Wide Net. Join an online dating site. Accept every invitation that you can for both business and social events. Realize that the handsome chap you are having a conversation with may not ask you out on a date, but he could invite you and your girlfriends to a fun summer party. You may not click on a date, but what if he becomes your next big client? A date isn’t always about meeting “the one.”

Exercise your heart with these tune-up tips and you’ll be ready to mingle with a smile on your face and be open to all of the possibilities this summer and beyond.

For more dating advice visit Lisa’s 30-day Get Out There Challenge with new tips daily for the month of June.

Julie Spira is known worldwide as The Cyber-Dating Expert. She is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com

The Multi-Million Dollar Sex and the City 2 Wardrobe

Photo by Craig Blankenhorn – © MMIX New Line Productions, Inc.

It won’t appear like there’s a recession when fans go to see the long-awaited Sex and the City 2, due out in theatres on May 27, 2010.

According to In Touch Weekly, Carrie Bradshaw’s  wardrobe included 41 costume changes. Some of the designers included Pucci, Halston, and Alexander McQueen.  Phillip Block, stylist-to-the-stars, was on the set and he estimated the price of the wardrobe for Sex and the City 2 at $10 million.

In the InTouch article, Block said, “Some of these pieces cost more than an SUV,” he says. “But they get better mileage!”

Sex and the City Stylist Patricia Field had dressed Carrie in Halston in one of the television episodes where Carrie was dating a politician. In the recently released documentary film, Ultrasuede: A Search for Halston, Field said, “It was a play on Jackie O.”

Krsitin Davis, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall and Cynthia Nixon will get to keep their new over-the-top wardrobe to memorialize their second feature film. The question to ask yourself is, “What fashion designer will you be wearing to view the Sex and the City 2 film with your girlfriends?”

Countdown to Sex and the City 2 – Celebrate with Macy’s Girls Weekend

Grab your girlfriends and get ready to shop and celebrate as we countdown to one of the most exciting films of the season, Sex and the City 2.

Macy’s and Warner Brothers have teamed up in conjunction with the launch of Sex and the City 2, scheduled to hit the screens in the U.S. on Thursday, May 27th. Mark your calendars now for “Girls Weekend” on May 20-23, 2010. There will be plenty of exciting in-store shopping events for fashion lovers everywhere.

On Thursday, May 20, 2010, the store chain will be giving away Sex and the City 2 advance movie screening tickets to the first 50 customers in 55 cities across the country who purchase $100 or more.

On Friday, May 21, 2010, pick up your exclusive, limited-edition Sex and the City 2 make-up brush set created by Warner Brothers and available only at Macy’s, redeemable at the Fragrance Bar. ($100 storewide purchase required and while supplies last).

On Saturday, May 22, 2010, for those who have to be the first to see the long-awaited film, Macy’s customers will receive Hollywood movie cash ($8.50 coupon towards your purchases of a Sex and the City 2 tickets at select movie theaters across the country with any storewide purchase of $100 while supplies last).

If that’s not exciting enough, you can even enter here to win a trip for four to head to Marrakesh.

For more information visit Macys.com/girlsweekend.

To get in the mood, watch the trailer for the film, perhaps while sipping a Skyy Vodka Cosmo.

Date Night Beauty Tips

My favorite cosmetic choice the past few months has to be Stila. Their lip glaze is so convenient and comes in a variety of fun and flirty colors. A recent visit to their website resulted in a terrific value and look with their Date Night collection.

Stila offers four top sellers for only $34 – a $90 value! Shimmering lids and lashes, luminous skin and sweetly flushed lips and cheeks give you a perfectly pretty look for date night or every night!

Set includes:

Black Diamond Mascara – black with shimmer
Eye Shadow – Kitten*
Cherry Crush Lip & Cheek Stain
All Over Shimmer *3

*Individual compact sold separately.

If you get lucky in love, don’t forget to spread the news.

The Cyber Love Basket – Valentine’s Special

As we celebrate both Valentine’s Weekend and the anniversary of my online dating book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, we have put together a very-special Cyber Love Basket filled with romantic goodies to spice up your love life. The new, sexy, and romantic Cyber Love Basket will be raffled off on Valentine’s Day at the Love Panel at An Empowered Woman in Bel Air, CA.

What’s in the Cyber Love Basket and how can you be eligible to win?

Attend the Second Sunday Love Panel on February 14, 2010. Receive dating advice and relationship tips from experts Dr. Pat Allen, Julie Spira, and Lucia. Stop by the CyberDating Expert table and purchase an autographed copy of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. The first 30 who purchase a copy of the book will immediately receive a VIP Cyber Swag bag worth over $125 (including a one-hour private massage and olive butter steam hair treatment). Everyone who purchases the book  will be entered into the drawing  for The Cyber Love Basket, now worth over $1800!

Here’s what’s inside the Cyber Love Basket:

• One bottle of Champagne
• One private coaching session or IRRESISTIBLE online dating profile from Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira
• Five one-hour private massage sessions from Beyond Physical Therapy
• Hair and Beauty makeover from Steven Crithfield of Claudio d’ Italia in Brentwood
• Chocolate Aphrodisiac hearts and love birds from Diana Phillips Chocolatier
• Five private one-hour Pilates sessions from Beyond Physical Therapy
• One 1-hour Tantra Session from Embody Tantra
• Two tickets to Lock and Key Events
• One beautiful painting, “The Power of Love” from artist Sandra Cooper aka R. Vega
• One 3-CD Music collection, “Straight from the Heart” from SHOUT Factory
• One DVD movie, “Yoga- An American Journey”
• Diva High Maintenance Drama Candle Collection

To purchase tickets to the Second Sunday Love Panel, click here>>>

Thank You to our Sponsors and Supporters

Arthur Klein, Sandra Cooper, Beyond Physical Therapy, Byu-ti Salon, Steven Crithfield,

Diana Phillips Artisan Chocolatier, Embody Tantra, Lock and Key Events, Klean Bath and Beauty, Shout Factory

Gone Brazilian – No Visa Required

It’s the hottest trend in hairstyle now. The Brazilian Blowout — the keratin smoothing hair treatment that took over Hollywood last year was suddenly booked on my calendar. I was told it would only take 90-minutes and would be perfect for that last minute photo shoot or hot date.

I had seen photos of celebrities with their new shiny manes and assumed it wasn’t for me. After all, I already had straight hair. But somehow, my hair never looked as good as it did on the day of my monthly visits with Steven Crithfield of Claudio d’Italia in Brentwood.  I just couldn’t do it on my own.

Steven convinced me to try this simple treatment. I figured if it was good enough for Halle Berry, Lindsay Lohan, Ashley Tisdale, and Nicole Richie’s manes’ it was worth a try. Who wouldn’t want Jennifer Anniston perfect-hair on a daily basis? The Brazilian Blowout products are even listed in Vanity Fair as Janie Bryant’s favorite shampoo. It was time to go Brazilian.

When I arrived at the salon in Brentwood, Steven greeted me with a smile and snapped the “before” photo. The treatment started with the Brazilian Blowout Acai shampoo. I was told that these products were similar to those that come from the rain forests in Brazil and actually improve the condition of the hair. No harsh chemicals were used.

After 90-minutes the final touch of the Acai Smoothing treatment was applied to my hair, which was then flat-ironed and ready to go. Thank you Steven for washing the frizz right out of my hair. I may not make it back to Rio this year, but you’ll find me in Brentwood.

For more information and to book an appointment:
The Brazilian Blowout
Master Stylist, Steven Crithfield
Claudio d’Italia
11686 San Vicente Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA
310-826-0868

Julie Spira is the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com

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