It’s true that women often dress for women instead of men, but our fashion and shoe expert, Hillary Gadsby tells us that despite having hangers filled with clothes, there’s truly nothing to wear out.
“I’m a big believer in the shoes make the girl, and possibly even the date.”
While agonizing over the right top or finding a dress that’s not too short, it’s easy to spend more time with the clothes and less on the shoes and wind up settling on a pair of simple flats instead of high heels. (oops we better toss out the ballet flats on date night).
When it comes to getting dressed, Hillary firmly believes that the look starts at your feet first – pick the shoes, then the rest of the outfit will follow. First dates should always include a pair of showstopping stilettos and never flats (save those for a beach date instead.) Whether you’re planning on wearing boots, wedges, or stilettos, here are her tips on how to wear each shoe while still looking fun, fab, and flirty!
If you’re wearing stilettos… aim for a pop of color.
Wearing a classic little black dress to a dinner date? Pair ruby red or metallic gold stilettos with the dress to make it truly stand out! Everyone (including your date, most likely) will be expecting to see conservative shoes that match the dress and it’s always fun to shake it up and include a dash of bold, sexy color with your look.
If you’re wearing wedges… pair ‘em with dark wash denim.
Sometimes the first date involves a lot of walking around, like heading to a theme park or music festival, and you’ll want to be able to walk the distance without developing 101 blisters along the way. Sleek wedges are your best bet because the heel is often stacked instead of skinny and can range in size as well. Dark wash denim jeans, a nice blouse, blazer, and a statement necklace when paired with wedges make even the most casual first date also one of the most fashionable.
If you’re wearing boots… include a short skirt.
Find a pair of stiletto thigh-high boots and pair ‘em with a short skirt. The boots elongate your legs, giving you an extra boost of confidence. If you still feel self conscious, add a pair of tights which are also super sexy to wear with any of the shoes on my list!
Hillary Gadsby is the founder of Stilettogal.com, where she blogs about what a day in the life of a woman entrepreneur is like as told by her shoes. Find out more about Hillary and her signature pair of bright yellow python pumps at Stiletto Gal’s Facebook page and follow her on Twitter!
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
If the thought of chocolate candies and roses sounds so hum drum to you, we’ve come up with 10 fun and flirty Valentine’s Day things to do with your significant other or date, that will make it an evening to remember.
1. Take a Dance Class – Dancing to Tango music can be very romantic. Dress up for the occasion and find a class near you. If Tango isn’t your style, try salsa or hip-hop as an alternative. It will get your body moving and can get you in the mood for a romantic and memorable evening.
2. Book His-and-Her Massages – Having warm oil rubbed on your body is surely a treat. If your relationship hasn’t moved in that direction yet, book Swedish massages for the two of you in separate rooms, so you both can enjoy the experience and compare notes afterwards.
3. Create a Digital Scavenger Hunt – We know you’re attached to your mobile phones and tablets, so create a little mystery with your very own personalized scavenger hunt. Not sure where to start? Begin the day with a text message saying “Happy Valentine’s Day” along with the first clue. When she arrives at the destination, send her a second clue requesting a Skype or FaceTime chat where you can wish each other a happy Valentine’s Day, video style. Third, send another text message on where you’d like her to go next. Have her pampered with a manicure or pedicure to get ready for your big date night. Fourth, at the end of the day, post an e-card greeting on her Facebook page for her and her friends to “like.” Finally, send her a digital invitation with the exact location for your Valentine’s date. Remember to take photos along the way and share them on your Facebook, Pinterest, or Instagram accounts.
4. Skate Away – Whether it’s ice-skating or roller-skating, take your valentine to the closest rink in town. You’ll find yourselves reminiscing about your childhood while you get a little physical activity. Remember to catch her if she falls.
5. Enjoy In-Room Dining – If you’ve waited until the last minute and realize that his or her favorite restaurant is already booked, pretend you’re on vacation and opt for an in-room dining alternative. Let her know that you’ll be bringing the appetizers and main course. Allow her to contribute the dessert to the menu. Create great ambiance with candles, music, and perhaps a bouquet of red tulips if roses aren’t in your budget.
6. Make it About Music – Find out if your date’s favorite band will be playing in town and surprise him or her with tickets to the show. At the end of the show, give your date a music CD so you can memorialize Valentine’s long after the date is over.
7. Go to a Wine Tasting – Many local wine bars allow you to stop by and taste several options before deciding on your favorite selection. Take your date to a location where you both can get a wine card for samples and compare notes. At the end of the night, buy him or her his favorite bottle for a future date on the calendar.
8.Take a Cooking Class – Men actually do enjoy being in the kitchen. Take him to a cooking class, where the two of you can whip up a spicy meal. Find a place to go for dessert together, with your menus in hand.
9. Go to a Fortune Teller – Does he love me, does he not? Go to a fortune teller with your Valentine and see what the future will hold. Don’t worry, you don’t need to kiss-and-tell.
10. Go to an Amusement Park - Riding the Ferris wheel can be very romantic, especially when it stops and you’re feeling like you’re on top of the world. Remember to kiss your Valentine when you’re staring at the stars together.
How will you be celebrating Valentine’s Day this year?
Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice sign up for the Weekly Flirt newsletter, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Photo credit: © Arcady – Fotolia.com
For those of you who know me, you’ll know that more often-than-not, I’ll be wearing a red dress or sweater when out in public. Red is a signature color that defines both passion and love and is my favorite color for first date outfits and online dating profile photos. It also helps you stand out from the other women who can’t part with their signature little black dress, who don’t realize they’re blending in with the crowd, both online and offline.
This holiday season, you’ll have the chance to shine, both online and IRL, as I’ll go on record saying, “Let them wear red!” Even the late Fashion designer Bill Blass has a famous quote, “When in doubt, wear red.”
Need more expert fashion advice for the holidays?
In a recent article on Fashionista.com, Single All the Way? Expert Fashion Tips for Online Dating, I shared some of my holiday fashion, beauty, and hair tips for those looking for love online.
After all, your online profile photo is your love-life resume. The men you’ll be meeting will be delighted when you resemble the irresistible photos they’ve viewed.
Remember, that women spend too much time dressing for women. Men don’t care about the labels, and it’s rare that I’ll hear a guy ask, “Is that Chanel or Prada?” If you look good in an outfit that fits well and is appealing, they’ll like the package, regardless of the price tag of the item. If red isn’t your color, try pink or fuchsia, as men equate this with femininity. Both red and pink will help your profile stand out instead of wearing black, white, grey, or complicated patterns.
Remember that men undress you with your eyes, so avoid the extra-low cut tops and dresses, and please stay away from bathing suits. It’s no different than lingerie with a different fabric. You’re looking for a soul-mate, not an instant bed-mate.
Remember to wear a few different outfits to show that you’re diverse. This helps you avoid writing the cliché of saying you go from jeans to black-tie. Let the guys see that look instead.
If you’re getting ready for a hot online date or are prepping for your online dating photo shoot, invest $35 and go to a blow-dry bar to get your hair blown out nice and silky. However, don’t become a “hair chameleon,” as having too many different hair colors and styles could be off-putting to men who view your profile. Most men are simple and want truth-in-advertising, so they hope you’ll look like your online dating profile photos. Avoid the desire to have glamour shots taken. Guys will think everything about your profile is photo shopped, from your age to your laugh lines.
Decide which features you want to focus on for your online dating photo shoot. If you have luscious lips, add a bit of color and gloss to accentuate them. A guy will think about what it’s like to kiss you, but if you’re wearing bright red lipstick, he may not want it on his collar just yet. If your eyes are the most flattering, apply eyeliner, fabulous lengthening mascara, and a simple light colored lip-gloss. If you overdo it on the make-up, men will think you’re too high-maintenance and it will actually make you look older. Something we all dread when it comes to posting our age.
At the end of the digital day, a natural look is something most men would enjoy seeing. They won’t know all the effort you put in to creating your irresistible online dating profile. It’s our little secret.
Full article at Fashionista.com
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and Editor-in-Chief at CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice sign up for the Weekly Flirt newsletter, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Wondering if you should wear red or pink this Valentine’s Day? I’m a firm believer that red the perfect color to wear year-round for your online dating profile, as well as on a first date. But don’t take my word for it. I reached out to Image Consultant Kimberly Seltzer, who agreed, it’s best to be the Lady in Red this Valentine’s Day. Kimberly compares Valentine’s outfits to Halloween for a little bit of fun.
“Both holidays give you a chance to dress up and perhaps wear something a little risqué that you perhaps wouldn’t normally wear,” says Kimberly. “No matter if you are celebrating with your man, going out with your girlfriends to attract a new one or just pampering yourself on Valentine’s Day, put on something that makes you feel special, alive and sexy.” Seltzer encourages singles and women in a relationship to put on their little black dress, throw on a pair of high heels and pile on the vanilla-flavored lip-gloss.
Here are Kimberly’s 5 easy red-hot tips that will surely shoot an arrow right into any man’s heart.
1. Feel Sexy—What men find sexy in a woman is when she herself feels sexy. Men notice your sexual confidence in the way you dress, walk, move your body and smile. Wear something that makes you feel sexy and sensual. So put on a dress that you feel confident and a little daring in. This doesn’t mean you have to show your mid-drift or fall out of your dress. Guys would much rather undress you with their eyes and leave things to the imagination than display it all right there. Part of being sexy is leaving them with a sense of intrigue and curiosity. If you give it all away to them, they may not have the desire to want more. For example, wear a fitted red dress that shows your curves and just teases the man with a low cut-out back. Or perhaps you want to go more casual and sport a leather jacket with a lacy cami peeking through.
Use fabrics that are great against your skin and touchable. Cashmere, silky satin, and buttery soft suedes are the real scene-stealers. Touchable fabrics not only invite another’s touch, they have the added bonus of feeling great against your skin so you feel pampered and sexy. Find fun and unique ways to express your sensuality!
2. Dress Feminine—Men absolutely love a soft womanly touch. A dress, skirt and heels can make any man’s heart skip a beat. Display your feminine sexuality with flowing hair or an attractive hairdo, nice nails, makeup and discreet displays of bare skin, plus colorful clothes and jewelry that are eye-catching signs of femininity. And ladies, no corporate blazers please! Your dress should be flirty, flowy and gorgeous. Perhaps it is romantic and completely easy like a soft silk in a red and off-white combination. Or maybe it is a tight fitted LBD worn with sleek patent red pumps. And while you are at it, remember to laugh, smile, create softness and be light and open on your date with your man. He’ll appreciate your receptive and delicate attitude and style.
3. Wear Heels—A man will love the way you move in a pair of high heels. There are three reasons why men’s jaw drop when you slip on the stilettos. They love the way the shoes make your legs look, how they make you walk and move your body and how it exudes femininity. Find the perfect footwear to go with that Valentine’s dress. Think sexy, strappy, sparkly and high! Feel a little unsteady in the skyscrapers? Try a pair of platforms with a thicker heel to give you more support.
4. Smell Amazing—Explore a new signature fragrance that captures your man’s attention. Several studies show that vanilla-flavored perfumes can intoxicate his senses. But perhaps he prefers something a little fresh and floral with a hint of citrus. Notice those fragrances that get a reaction and go with it! You might also want to try a new body lotion to put all over your body in unexpected places.
5. Be Daring and Add A Surprise—If you have been with your beau for a while, most likely there is an element of monotony in your relationship and in the way you dress. Even if you are going out with your girlfriends or you are with a new man, it’s important to infuse a little variety in your life which can help you give off new and exciting energy. Spice things up by wearing something a little different for you. Perhaps you secretly wear a new red lacy thong with a matching bra under your Valentine’s dress. Or nothing attracts attention quite like a hat. First, it takes guts to wear one. Second, it takes panache to carry it off. Combine the two qualities and you get major sex appeal.
Whatever you decide to wear, enhancing and focusing on your Valentine attitude and your wardrobe will boost the way you feel about yourself, thus boosting your chances for love on this special day.
Visit Kimberly at www.eliteimagemakeovers.com for a complete dating image consultation.
We’re in the middle of summer now, but some singles are just starting to date again. Finding the right outfit to make that terrific first impression in your online dating profile or on a first date is really important.
Our friends at Match.com polled some of their members to find out what they prefer seeing their date wearing and I’m tossing in some of my fashion favorites for both men and women for the season.
Do wear long hair in braids. It’s fun and flirty and not just for children anymore.
Don’t wear a low cut dress or top. There’s no need to show off your cleavage on a first date, unless you’re anxious to head to the bedroom.
Do wear white pants on a date. Take advantage of the clean feeling of bright white in the summer time.
Don’t wear flip flops. Men still like the look of a heel on a woman. Unless you’re taking a beach walk, wear a high-heeled open toe sandal.
Do wear a short skirt or dress. Short and sexy will never go out of style.
Do wear khaki’s. It’s simple and conservative. You can’t go wrong with this look combined with a polo shirt.
Don’t wear a Hawaiian shirt. Bright patterns are distracting and out-of-style.
Do wear aviator sunglasses. Women find this look sexy on an outdoor date. Remember when you go inside, take them off so she can glance at your eyes.
Don’t wear a Speedo. Never ever wear a Speedo or she’ll speed out of there faster than you can imagine. Try wearing conservative swimsuit or shorts if you’re headed to the beach.
Do wear a vee neck tee shirt or cardian sweater. This casual look for the summer may make her eyes melt.
Do you have a favorite summer fashion look? Your comments and suggestions are always welcome.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert, bestselling author, and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible online dating profiles for singles on the dating scene. Follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira for dating advice and like her at facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
I have always believed in the significance of wearing red on a first date.
Here’s what we intuitively know about the color red:
- Red is the color of love.
- Red ignites passion.
- Red is the signature color for Valentine’s Day.
- You give red roses to a blue lady.
- Red is sexy.
- Red is a powerful color for women in the bedroom and the boardroom.
- Red stimulates the heart to beat faster.
Recently, I wrote an article on Huffington Post about why men were attracted to women who wore red. This behavior was backed up by a research study from the European Journal of Social Psychology called *”Red and Romantic Behavior in Viewing Women.”
In the above mentioned study, male undergraduates were shown photographs of young adult women. Some women were wearing the color green and others were wearing red. As they were looking at photos alone, the study showed similar behaviors to those who would view women’s profiles on an online dating site. The men appeared to ask more forward questions to the women in red as compared to the generic questions asked of the women wearing green.
While wearing red won’t guarantee a marriage proposal, it is more likely that it will result in more forward conversations according to the study.
I have been recommending that women wear red on their first dates with men for many years. My online dating profile always had a photo of me wearing red. The man who proposed to me, who I met on JDate, affectionately called me “The Lady in Red.”
Red might not be your favorite color, but wearing red when going to singles events and meeting men for the first time will capture the attention of the men in the room. I feel so strongly about the color red, that cover of my book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating shows a girl wearing a red dress getting ready for a date. We know that men are visual and are likely to remember what you wore on your first date, so why not wear red to make your first impression?
Wearing red to attract men is so powerful, that the Jewish Journal came to my home earlier this year to shoot a video with some of my expert online dating tips. Where did they start? In my closet of course. They wanted me to talk about the red dresses that were worn on many first dates. Men and women everywhere are backing up the research from the experts in the recent study on the color of red.
Does that mean I think you should toss out your favorite green shirt? No. But since first impressions do matter and men are looking at hundreds of photos every time they log online looking for love, perhaps wearing red isn’t such a bad idea at all. You have a split second to make an impression online and having a profile photo and catchy screen name to draw a man in, is important. Men are, and always will be visual. Once you get past the color test, it’s time to show him the authentic you and let your personality shine.
*”Red and Romantic Behavior in Men Viewing Women,” Daniela Niesta Kayser, Andrew J. Elliot, Roger Feltman, European Journal of Social Psychology (October, 2010)
There’s no doubt about it. Halloween is one of the most fun holidays for singles and couples of all ages. Dressing up for Halloween is an absolute must. Halloween costume stores start popping up in August and visits to the pumpkin patch are in abundance.
So how does a single person enjoy this fun and flirty holiday? I believe that Halloween gives you permission to jump out of your comfort zone and become more approachable. Besides the youthful trick-or-treaters ringing your doorbell, singles holiday parties are in abundance. I suggest you RSVP to as many as possible, grab a few friends and go out with a smile on your face along with a devilish grin.
In preparation for Halloween, it’s also a good time to brush up on your flirting skills. Dr. Pat Allen, author of “Getting to I Do” and one of my mentors, teaches the 5-second flirt technique and encourages singles to flirt with 5 men every day and gaze into their eyes for five very long seconds. Although it’s a challenge and may seem like an eternity, on Halloween it should be a piece of cake, or at least a handful of candy corn.
Let’s start with selecting your sexy Halloween costume. Although you wouldn’t dress like this on a first date, you now have permission to show some skin without the expectation of jumping into the bedroom. Some of my favorites are from Leg Avenue. Check out the selection at Pure Delish, will give you free shipping on orders of $75 or more.
1. The Cheerleader. What guy didn’t fantasize about being with a cheerleader in high school? Now’s his chance with this sexier version guaranteed to put a smile on his face. Cost $38.
2. The French Maid. This class Halloween costume never goes out of style. Now’s your chance to flirt with him with your duster in tow. Who knows just where he might be ticklish? Cost $65.
3. Queen of Hearts. Poker night will never be the same after he sees you in this Queen of Hearts outfit. Approach him and make a bet. See if he ups the ante. Price $75.
Now that you have your costume selections ready to go, look at your local calendar section for Halloween parties. From charity events to speed dating to Haunted House parties, there are events going on all week long. Take advantage of the fact that Halloween is on a Sunday. That means from Thursday-Sunday you can get the most of out of your Halloween costume and practice the art of flirting on men who are dressed like Tarzan and George Clooney.
Don’t forget to bring your camera or Flip video and set your camera settings to movie. Go up to that cute guy and compliment him on his costume and ask if you can take his photo. Better yet, jump into the shot and have your friend take a picture of you and that hot guy. Then ask him if you can friend him on Facebook or email him the photos.
At the end of the week, you can memorialize your Halloween festivities in a video on YouTube or upload the photos to Facebook. Go ahead and tag him, he’ll be flattered that you took the time to do so.
Julie Spira is a worldwide authority in online dating and a dating advice columnist. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com where you can share your Internet dating stories. Follow her on Twitter @JulieSpira.
My friend and relationship expert Lisa Steadman is celebrating all month long. The best-selling author has created a 30-day challenge to help singles find love during the month of June. As part of this month-long celebration, I have offered my dating advice on How to be Single and Ready to Mingle.
If you’re newly single and you’re waiting for your friends to fix you up, before the phone starts to ring with potential dates excited about meeting you, you need to get in shape. Just like exercising before the summer to lose weight and fit into that bikini, you need to get ready to go out there and shine like the star that you are.
Here are some of my favorite pre-dating tips on how to get ready for your hot date.
1. Leave the Baggage Behind. If you are still pining away for your ex, have a conversation with yourself about why you are no longer together. Better yet, take a piece of paper and write down some of the negative traits to remind you it’s time to move on. Was he controlling? Did he have a roving eye? A bit too jealous? You need to dismantle him from the pedestal he was on and get ready for a new and exciting beginning. No guy is going to want to hear about the one who broke your heart. I have a saying, “Every Relationship Serves a Purpose, But is Limited.” Stand in front of the mirror and repeat it. It truly works.
2. Dress the Part. How you dress tells a story. Men love to unwrap the package, so don’t reveal too much. A man will undress you with his eyes, even on your first date. It doesn’t mean he’s ready to jump into bed with you. Be subtle, and it’s still sexy. It’s just not an instant invitation to the bedroom.
3. Embrace Your Girlfriend Network. Let everyone you know you would like to be fixed up. Mention it at the nail salon and hairdresser. Have a conversation at the post office with someone you might recognize. Find a supportive network of women who are single and can understand what it’s like to be in between relationships. Create a “Girls Night Out” which could include a movie with pre or post film cocktails. Dress flirty and smile. Let the men wonder, “Who’s that Girl?”
4. Practice the Art of Flirting. Smile at men at the grocery store. Introduce yourself to the cute guy on the airplane. Compliment a man on his stylish tie at a business mixer. Even if you aren’t meeting the one, perhaps he has a friend he can introduce you to.
5. Cast a Wide Net. Join an online dating site. Accept every invitation that you can for both business and social events. Realize that the handsome chap you are having a conversation with may not ask you out on a date, but he could invite you and your girlfriends to a fun summer party. You may not click on a date, but what if he becomes your next big client? A date isn’t always about meeting “the one.”
Exercise your heart with these tune-up tips and you’ll be ready to mingle with a smile on your face and be open to all of the possibilities this summer and beyond.
For more dating advice visit Lisa’s 30-day Get Out There Challenge with new tips daily for the month of June.
Julie Spira is known worldwide as The Cyber-Dating Expert. She is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com
It won’t appear like there’s a recession when fans go to see the long-awaited Sex and the City 2, due out in theatres on May 27, 2010.
According to In Touch Weekly, Carrie Bradshaw’s wardrobe included 41 costume changes. Some of the designers included Pucci, Halston, and Alexander McQueen. Phillip Block, stylist-to-the-stars, was on the set and he estimated the price of the wardrobe for Sex and the City 2 at $10 million.
In the InTouch article, Block said, “Some of these pieces cost more than an SUV,” he says. “But they get better mileage!”
Sex and the City Stylist Patricia Field had dressed Carrie in Halston in one of the television episodes where Carrie was dating a politician. In the recently released documentary film, Ultrasuede: A Search for Halston, Field said, “It was a play on Jackie O.”
Krsitin Davis, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall and Cynthia Nixon will get to keep their new over-the-top wardrobe to memorialize their second feature film. The question to ask yourself is, “What fashion designer will you be wearing to view the Sex and the City 2 film with your girlfriends?”
Grab your girlfriends and get ready to shop and celebrate as we countdown to one of the most exciting films of the season, Sex and the City 2.
Macy’s and Warner Brothers have teamed up in conjunction with the launch of Sex and the City 2, scheduled to hit the screens in the U.S. on Thursday, May 27th. Mark your calendars now for “Girls Weekend” on May 20-23, 2010. There will be plenty of exciting in-store shopping events for fashion lovers everywhere.
On Thursday, May 20, 2010, the store chain will be giving away Sex and the City 2 advance movie screening tickets to the first 50 customers in 55 cities across the country who purchase $100 or more.
On Friday, May 21, 2010, pick up your exclusive, limited-edition Sex and the City 2 make-up brush set created by Warner Brothers and available only at Macy’s, redeemable at the Fragrance Bar. ($100 storewide purchase required and while supplies last).
On Saturday, May 22, 2010, for those who have to be the first to see the long-awaited film, Macy’s customers will receive Hollywood movie cash ($8.50 coupon towards your purchases of a Sex and the City 2 tickets at select movie theaters across the country with any storewide purchase of $100 while supplies last).
If that’s not exciting enough, you can even enter here to win a trip for four to head to Marrakesh.
For more information visit Macys.com/girlsweekend.
To get in the mood, watch the trailer for the film, perhaps while sipping a Skyy Vodka Cosmo.