I received an email on Facebook from a former radio colleague of mine telling me that he was getting divorced at 60. He was petrified about dating after being married for 25 years.  He bought my book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating and joined a boomer online dating site.

Within a week, he submitted his first story for The Peril of the Week.

“I was just putting my toe in the dating water when I met a woman who had already gone off the deep end. “Rita” had a profile that reflected that she was smart, sassy, and had movie star looks. She messaged me about getting together for a glass of wine, and I said to myself “self, why not?” First bad sign for someone like me looking for honesty and trust in a relationship – she arrived looking much older than her picture, which was a glamour shot taken 15 years ago. The years had not been that kind to Rita, with a big weight gain and much sadder eyes.

By her 3rd glass of wine, Rita was getting very loud and in full party mode. By her 5th, she was talking about how great a lover she was, in graphic detail. After her 6th glass, I was able to pry her away from the bar and out to her car. Rita proceeded to pounce, with aggressive kisses and that extra hand women always complain about men having that seems to go right for the privates. I decided I really didn’t want my privates to go public with this woman.

I guess I have matured a little bit since the hormone raging days where I would have hit on her in a second (and probably lasted that long, too). I followed Rita home to make sure she was able to drive OK, and took off, telling her I just wasn’t ready to get intimate with anyone again. I don’t mean to make light of anyone with a drinking problem, but I have decided that coffee dates are better first dates than wine dates. Coffee opens your eyes to what she’s like, while drinking clouds your feelings and potentially your judgment. Note to self: Self, if you are not ready to swim, don’t dive into the deep end of the dating pool.”

The Peril of the Week was contributed by Suddenly Single at 60. Photo credit: Fotolia.

Do you have a dating disaster story to share?

Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice and share your online dating stories. Follow Julie on twitter @JulieSpira and like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert

Dating in your 30s and 40s often means dating men with kids and vice versa. The exact time to introduce your children to your new boyfriend or girlfriend is still up for debate. What’s absolutely not appropriate is bringing your child along when meeting a potential suitor for the first time.

In this Peril of the Week story, a woman agreed to go on a dinner date with a man she met online. When she arrived, the woman was shocked that her date had brought his six-year-old daughter, whom he had never mentioned nor made any indication of having a child on his profile, with him on their first date. Apparently, it was his weekend to have her. Why he didn’t reschedule, or, better yet, hire a babysitter, she never found out. But the girl proved to be a royal pain in the behind.

While deciding what to order, his daughter wanted to get a burrito, but her dad reminded her that she didn’t like the burrito last time and suggested she get the fish tacos instead. Well that didn’t go over smoothly. The little girl threw a whiny fit until she got what she wanted and ordered the burrito. Of course, when the burrito came it wasn’t what she wanted. Instead, she wanted her father’s date’s tacos. Wanting to eat the tacos instead of the burrito, she assumes she must have given her date some sort of look because the man yelled, “Just give her the damn tacos!”

At a complete loss of what to do, the woman felt like she had to give his daughter her tacos. Since she was really looking forward to the fish tacos, she placed a second order and sat there watching her date and his daughter chow down without her (which is just so rude in it of itself). By the time her tacos arrived, they were both done eating and the daughter was ready to go.

Finally, when the check came, her date asked for the second order of tacos to be on a separate bill, paid his portion and left her sitting there to finish her meal alone along with the check. Thankfully, the waiter seemed to understand her predicament and told her that her tacos were on the house.

Do you have a dating disaster story to share? The Peril of the Week was contributed by Big Red Flags.

Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice and to share your online dating stories. Follow Julie on twitter @JulieSpira and like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert

Cyber Love Story of the Week - Elizabeth and Joshua

I often say that the best things in life are worth waiting for and that you need to be proactive about finding love, both online and offline.

In a heartwarming story, our friends at Match.com have just announced that brunette beauty Elizabeth Kitt, one of the hopefuls in The Bachelor, found love on their online dating site, after her two unsuccessful attempts on national television.

After having her heart broken in both The Bachelor and The Bachelor Pad, Elizabeth found herself alone in her apartment in Los Angeles. She finally decided to take matters into her own digital hands and signed up for a 6-month membership to Match.

“Starting off on Match.com was an immediate thrill,” said Elizabeth. She added,  “I decided to have fun with it and not take each date too seriously. When I got a message from someone who seemed interesting, I immediately set up a time to meet. I went on tons of dates in those 6 months!”

Towards the end of her 6-month subscription, Elizabeth received a message from a guy named Joshua that read, “In case you missed the first one.”  The note jumped out at her because she had, in fact, missed the first message.  After reading his online dating profile and looking at his photos, she sent him a message,  “Let’s meet up! Just tell me when and where, and I’ll be there.”

Elizabeth enjoyed her first date conversation with Joshua.  At the end of the date he asked her how he could get a second date with her. She paused for a minute and asked him, “Well, how many dates have you been on from Match.com?” To her, surprise he told her that she was his very first online date.

When Elizabeth got home, she sent him a text with her dating advice that said, “You will get your second date with me as soon as you have gone on 5 first dates from Match.com. Joshua was up for the challenge and kept Elizabeth posted on the progress of each date.

Both Elizabeth and Joshua continued to date others, but realized after the 5-date challenge that they wanted to be together and had found their soul mates.

Congratulations to Elizabeth and Joshua, our Cyber Love Story of the Week who put their new relationship to the test and won with flying colors.

To you have an online dating story to share?

Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice and to share your online dating stories. Follow Julie on twitter @JulieSpira and like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert

This week’s Cyber Love Story of the Week is one where I’m proud to share, as I’ve known Tammye for over a year. Find out how an online flirt, initiated by Tammye, followed by her cancelling the date, eventually led to a marriage proposal. Here’s the story of Tammye and Scott.

He Said:

I had been dating online for about a year. If there was no connection, I just moved on. Most profiles and pictures were a lie and I was ready to give up on the entire process. I have never been one to go to bars, so dating online was my only real option. I had put a 25 mile limit on my search radius. Somehow Tammye came up within that search. She sent me a flirt. Tammye was 25.9 miles away, although she was just outside my criteria, I was impressed by her profile. She was articulate and I liked that. I answered the flirt. We set up plans to meet for coffee. Tammye cancelled [I still swear that she said due to a spider bite on her face]. That was my final straw … I was done. I was frustrated with the whole online dating thing, but Tammye and I remained Facebook friends. I watched her posts and the events she attended, she captured my attention. In one of her posts, she mentioned Italian food, I told her about a great spot for real Sicilian lasagna, and Tammye said “All you have to do is ask”. The date was set, June 15^th at 6:30pm. She was late, one of my pet peeves. I ordered for her.  She texted me when she arrived in the parking lot and I went out to meet her. As I waited to greet her, in my mind I saw her float above the ground, wearing a long white dress [come to find out it was a short black & white polka dot one] it was as if I had known her all my life.

I knew the moment I saw her I had found the one, I proposed on December 30, 2010. She said ‘Yes’ ~ three times. I never want to be without her. We have everything in common. She is my life mate.

She Said:

In December of 2009, out of sheer frustration, I joined an online dating site. I had just set up my Facebook account and one of their sister sites was Zoosk. I was dutiful and filled out the questionnaire, trying to be thorough yet interesting. Just let me say, you have to go through a lot of frogs before you find you find your prince. Having deleted my way through a few dozen or so gentlemen, and I use that term loosely, there was only one man that stood out, Scott. I was very hesitant, but we made plans to meet for coffee. Call it a mid-life crisis, but at the time I was determined to experience all those things that I didn’t have time for or money for in the past. I had recently taken up Kick boxing lessons, and a few days prior to our meeting, I took a punch to the eye. A swollen, black-purple-and-blue eyeball never makes a good first impression, so I cancelled. Scott and I never rescheduled the coffee meet up, however we remained Facebook friends for 6 months. In May of 2010, having found out it was my birthday, Scott invited me to dinner. We made plans to meet once again. This time the date was kept. We have been inseparable ever since. He means absolutely everything to me.

Scott and I just celebrated our one year anniversary; we are engaged and will be wed in March 2012. You really can find love online!

Congratulations to Tammye and Scott, our Cyber Love Story of the Week.

Do you have an online dating story to share?

Julie Spira is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for online dating advice and to share your online dating stories. Follow Julie on twitter @JulieSpira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert

In the category of Peril of the Week, this week’s news story of the Michigan woman who met her online boyfriend while playing Mafia Wars on Facebook makes it to the top of the list and on the court docket.

According to the Seattle Times, 50-year old Cheryl Gray, who initially claimed to be 42, claims Wylie Iwan from Washington state led her on, publicly humiliated her on Facebook, and cost her to spend money on an airplane ticket for a trip that was abruptly cancelled.

According to the Seattle Times, Gray was planning on visiting Iwan in Washington and had paid for an airline ticket that cost about $900. Just days before she was to fly to see him, he advised her that he had met someone else. It was a facebook breakup and she didn’t see it coming.

The Seattle Times reports:

Cheryl Gray says Wylie Iwan led her on, caused her to spend money on gifts and a trip to the Tri-Cities, then humiliated her when he posted vulgar comments on her Facebook wall.

They became Facebook friends in September and had about 300 friends in common, she said. During the next couple of months, they began talking through Facebook messages, and Gray said Iwan wanted to exchange personal information and get to know her.

Although they met on Mafia wars, they created their own Facebook war after the relationship ended with Gray setting up a hate group on Facebook. She accused Iwan of being an online predator. Iwan then allegedly posted bitter messages about her on Facebook, where Gray is now seeking damages in the amount of $8,368.88. Gray’s attorney is seeking damages for misrepresentation, promissory estoppel, defamation of character, and intentional infliction of emotional distress. So much for being social, on the world’s largest social network.

To you have an online dating story or dating disaster story to share?

Submit your story for consideration in the Peril of the Week

Julie Spira is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for online dating advice and to share your online dating stories. Follow Julie on twitter @JulieSpira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert

On the one-year anniversary of the online dating site Cupidtino, where Apple enthusiasts, find each other, we’re happy to share one of their success stories, Jesse and Curtis.

Jesse, a woman from Northern California had initially emailed Curtis when he was in Palm Springs, CA. She noticed he was in the military and asked him what there was to do in Palm Springs in her initial email. After a few weeks, Jesse gave Curtis her personal email address so they could communicate off the site. He asked for her phone number and began communicating with her regularly.

Their first date was at a Starbucks, where they met in the middle with their MacBooks in tow. They continued their date for the weekend wine tasting, visiting Hearst Castle, and their love affair began.

After eight months from when they first started communicating, including the time when Curtis was stationed in Japan, he was discharged and moved to Silicon Valley to be with his sweetheart.

Congratulations to Jesse and Curtis, our Cyber Love Story of the Week, who kept their love of Apple at the top of the list while looking for love online and didn’t let distance get in the way. And of course, congratulations to Cupidtino on celebrating their one-year anniversary as an Internet dating site.

Do you have an online dating story to share?

Read More Cyber Love Stories>>>

It started out as an email sent from a man in New York who was a member of a popular online dating site. The recipient, an attractive intelligent single female shared the introductory email with some of her friends on Facebook, myself included. She wanted to know if she should go out with the man with the red flags. At first she thought it was hilarious. I told her not to go. Her curiosity got the best of her, so without further adieu, here’s an example of a date destined to go bad.

His first email appeared to be a “cut and paste” to many filled with a negative attitude. It read as follows:

“This may sound rude/odd but…what’s wrong with you? I have found there has to be a catch if I come across a cute, seemingly intelligent, well manner girl on this site.”

“I have tried this online dating thing for a while and to be honest… IT SUCKS!!!

“In the last month or so, I have been: stood up three times, canceled on at the last minute, met a girl who started to make out with another random guy at the bar while I watched, found out mid-date that the girl was inky 21 when her profile said she was 29, had a girl tell me how she is still in love with her ex, been told the day after a first date that she was getting back with her fiancé, but would love to use me for sex and my favorite…told that I was part of a “30 dates with 30 guys in 30 days” dare and that I had no shot. Fun times, right????”

“Now…based on the fact that you seem pretty awesome and the fact that I am apparently not cool enough to have plans on what should be a beautiful Friday night…How would you feel about being totally spontaneous and meeting me this evening? (who knows we might even like each other and get to make out?)”

“Now, I know you may want to email back and forth for days and then build up all this excitement hoping you found “the one”…but…I have found that usually leads to disappointment and then possibly therapy and sadness, right? Let’s skip all that nonsense and meet right away…OK? It will save us the let-down in the long run.”

“Now if you call/text/email, we can have possibly the blindest of dates…(assuming you don’t stand me up) or we can flirt via text from now until we do meet and build up expectations. Your choice, but first, please warn me about what is wrong with you so I know going into this that there will be little surprise! ”

With an email like this, I would have done one of two things. Either deleted it without response and forgotten about it, or send an email saying “No thank you. Best of luck with your search.”

Comments from her friends included, “Just be careful” to “This is hilarious. Go and report back to us.”  I explained that it was a mass email sent to many other women and told her not to go. Online dating safety is a hot button for me. I had a bad feeling about this from reading just the first sentence of his email.  I thought she should use her time wisely and find a man who is positive, emotionally healthy and worthy of her. I told her to do her homework, Google his email and phone number to find out more about him if she really wanted to pursue this. I had a bad feeling. I was told that I was too serious and that this was hilarious.

She did indeed go on a date with him, which was a disaster. She said she should have known that he was going to be crazy. After resfusing to tell him where she worked or lived, he left her in the bar. That would have been fine if it was over, but it wasn’t. He started to send her mean and nasty text messages. She asked him not to contact her again, and he said “no.”

Not only does this date qualify for The Peril of the Week, but it’s a warning message to spot the red flags and remember how to date safely. Don’t give out your home or work address, create a separate phone number on Google voice so you can change it if you continue to get harassed by a date gone badly, and trust your intuition. Listen to your friends if they are concerned about you. There are many wonderful singles looking for love online, but if you come across a situation or profile like this, report it to the Internet dating site you met on.

Do you have an online dating story to share?
Send your submissions and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert

There’s nothing flattering about using the “F” word, whether on a date or not, so I’m perplexed when a man finds it so easy to say over-and-over on a date.

One of our favorite contributors Susana went on a date with a guy who was a big talker. He bragged about his accomplishments, name-dropped a few times about his Hollywood connections, discussed how much money he made 20-years ago, and spent most of his time talking about himself.

Susana, listened to his possible fish-tale stories and counted on her fingers from 1-10 how many times he used the F*! word until her frustration built up. She excused herself to go to the ladies room to take a break from the cursing. When she returned to the table, she apologized for the delay and said, “There was a big line at the ladies, room. You know how that goes.” Much to her surprise, her date responded with, “Us guys have it made. We just stand up and take a piss.” On that note, she didn’t care about his big job, fancy car, or to be in his company anymore. She thanked him and excused herself.

My dating advice: You only get a moment to make a first impression. You may get a grace period if you swear once and it slips out of your mouth. But a repeat offender won’t make it to the second date. It was a dating disaster and made it into the Peril of the Week.

If you have an online dating disaster story to share, we’d like to hear from you. Send your submissions to Cyber Dating Expert/contact and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert

“After being burned big time by my last relationship in 2007, I had officially given up dating,” said Valerie. She added, “My friends had been imploring me for years to try online dating, but I just couldn’t get past the stigma of it and was extremely concerned about the safety factor.”

Valerie thought the idea of a ton of strangers perusing her pictures and personal details would freak her out.  Finally she joined OkCupid, and as an attractive female was immediately inundated by e-mails.  She wasn’t interested in any of them until she received her first e-mail from Adam.

Adam had been home on a Saturday evening looking at some of the newest profiles on OkCupid, a weekly ritual for him. He believed in emailing a woman right away before she became swamped with emails and possibly gave up on online dating.

“Then I spotted this beautiful brunette with the handle ‘fleursetbonbons’. Ah, flowers and candy… so traditional for a woman, isn’t it?” thought Adam. Then when he read Valerie’s profile, he knew she was the type of person he was looking for. “Her profile said a lot about her personality and style and wasn’t just another, I love sushi and long walks on the beach type of diatribe,” Adam added. He didn’t expect Valerie to write back.

Valerie loved the fact that Adam was the first guy she’d seen on the site with the long haired, rock & roll, chiseled features look that she really went for. When she clicked on his pictures, she saw he also had an incredible smile, and was 6’4” tall, which she loved.

“I honestly wasn’t too impressed by his profile…he seemed a little too interested in beer and sports for my taste…but I decided to take a chance anyway based on the cuteness of his pics,” said Valerie. Valerie liked Adam because he was all about being real and there were no games involved.

Adam recalled, “I decided to email her and tell her as much, figuring all along I’ll never hear back.”  To his surprise she did respond and they started communicating a lot. On their first date, they went to brunch and he brought her a dozen roses.

Adam and Valerie shared that they have a magnetic attraction to each other that grows every single day. “He’s caring, attentive, and kind to me. I miss him when we’re apart no matter how long we’ve spent together, and I love being in love with him, said Valerie”

“I would never have expected to meet someone that I could fall in love with online, so I encourage anyone who’s hesitant to take the chance…you really just can’t know unless you try,” Valerie added.

Even though the two currently live approximately 30 miles apart, they regularly see each other about 3-4 days per week and are already considering moving in together.

Congratulations to Valerie and Adam, our Cyber Love Story of the Week who wouldn’t let distance get in the way of love.

Do you have an online dating story to share?

Read More Cyber Love Stories>>>

A woman is often attracted to a man based upon his career accomplishments. Men often experience increased self-esteem when they are happy with their career status. When the tables get turned, how do men feel about being lower on the totem pole than a woman’s job?

According to this male online dater, his romance went south fast when he realized he didn’t fit into the busy schedule of his latest date.

The two enjoyed communicating online with instant messages, phone calls, and met quickly within the first few days of contact. Their first date was enjoyable for both. His date revealed that she was a student in medical school along with running her family’s online gift shop. When he asked her if she had time for a romantic relationship with her obligations, she replied with, “I’m busy, but will make the time for a  relationship.”

Happy about their first date, he appropriately called her the following day and left a message on her answering machine. The call was not returned. Determined to make contact with her again, he called again several tines in the days following their first and only date. He assumed she wasn’t interested. She did resurface via email and said she was out of town on business and would call later that day. Busy focusing on her career, the phone call never arrived. Finally she called him and said she was too busy to focus on romance and apologized.

The moral of the story is that workaholics may attempt to schedule time for a romantic relationship or date, but often their daily planner isn’t big enough to take the time to find love online.

Do you think she just wasn’t into him? Would you re-prioritize your schedule if you met someone special?

If you have an online dating disaster story to share, we’d like to hear from you. Send your submissions to Cyber Dating Expert/contact and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert