The Life of The Cyber Dating Expert
February 14, 2010
Having a career as a writer and dating advice columnist allows me to meet interesting people. I hear about their quests to find love online. I share their success stories in the Cyber Love Story of the Week. I write about their dating disasters in the Peril of the Week. I interview interesting people in the world of online dating. I love my life.
Often, I am asked about my personal life. Many wonder who am I currently dating. They ask me if I have met someone online. I have met hundreds. They want to know what online dating sites I recommend. I answer with, “There’s something for everyone.” I hear, “What was your best date?” and “What was your worst date?” Sharing personal information with the popularity of Facebook and other social networking sites has not only become the norm, but it has become expected. Years ago it would have been considered exploitation. Now it is fondly known as status updates and tweets, filled with friends, connections, and followers.
As I sit here on the one-year anniversary of my first published book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, I reflect on why I felt the need to share my personal stories and why I became so passionate about helping others find love on the web.
It was 16 years ago when I posted my first online dating profile. I was a charter member of Love@AOL. It was before the days of Match.com and high-speed Internet. I learned then, as I know now, the vast opportunities that can be found on the Internet. I was a former radio broadcaster, turned Internet executive. Along the way, I became a super-successful cyberdater.
I reinvented my former radio career and every Saturday enjoy interviewing online dating CEOs and bestselling relationship authors on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show where I educate singles on all the options on finding love online.
Although I made the conscious decision to reveal very personal stories– some which were extremely painful, others hilarious, and some heartfelt, I have also made the decision to keep my present personal life private, for a while at least.
For now, I will continue writing about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World. I am appreciative for the many online dating sites that feature my articles. I have a whole new group of friends who are authors and dating experts. I enjoy educating and entertaining my audience. I am often told that I have made a difference in the lives of singles who can relate to my stories. I help people fall in love online. My personal experience and advice has touched many. This brings me joy.
On this very important one-year anniversary of my book release and radio show launch, I am very grateful. As I read the two Los Angeles Times articles today written by Whitney Friedlander called, Make it personal, keep it real and Finding the Right Online Dating Service, where I provided dating advice on Valentine’s Day, I know that I made the right decision in publishing my tell-all memoir. In the manner that I normally end my radio show, I will end this article as well with, “I look forward to seeing you in cyberspace.”
Julie Spira is known worldwide as The Cyber-Dating Expert. She is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert: To Tell or Not to Tell
January 25, 2010
Cyber-Dating Expert
Bruce came to me needing some dating advice. He has a serious medical condition which is under control now. He doesn’t know whether to tell his new dates about his illness or not. He hasn’t dated much and this is a delicate issue. Do you tell your dates early on that you have a possible life-threatening illness? And if so, at what point to you fully disclose this information?
Dear Bruce,
There is no right or wrong answer as to when you will tell someone you are dating about your medical illness. The good news is that you are feeling well now and should be dating. Serious matters that can affect relationships usually deal with family, medical or physical, financial, and emotional.
If you start dating someone who you think can become a serious relationship, you need to have the talk. Hopefully she will be supportive of you and want to be at your side. Life has no guarantee of perfect health. However, I don’t recommend that this becomes the subject of a first date conversation. You will likely scare someone away before they have the opportunity to get to know the real you.
Good luck with your search looking for love online.
Julie Spira is known worldwide as The Cyber-Dating Expert™. She is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com
Peril of the Week – My Love is Blue
January 1, 2010
Peril of the Week
A gentleman was a member of several online dating sites. He met a woman online who lived 30 miles away. He was attracted to her photo, and decided to ask her out for dinner.
While perusing the menu, he suggested that they order pizza.
She replied by saying she doesn’t eat pizza. He then suggested a nice chicken dish. She told him she didn’t eat chicken. Apparently she only ate red meat, cheese, chocolate, bacon, and red wine. He was surprised at her reply and asked, ”Do you eat fish?” “No,” she replied. He asked, “Do you eat lettuce?” Once again, she said no. “No broccoli?” “Never,” she replied.
Meanwhile her pager kept going off during their date, and he secretly wondered if she was selling drugs on the side. He also noticed that her skin had a strange blue tint to it.
It wasn’t a complete dating disaster, but apparently there was very little she could or would order on the menu. Finally, the blue woman said, she needed to leave. She had an medical emergency. When he asked what happened, she said that she worked in a psychiatric ward and helped children with eating disorders.
Perhaps next time, she should order broccoli. After all, green is in.
For consideration in the Peril of the Week, send you story to Submit Stories
Gelato – A New Flavor in Online Dating on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show
December 12, 2009
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert
Listen to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show where Julie Spira interviewed Steve Odom, founder of the new online dating site Ge.la.to
Gelato dating is reinventing the way that singles date online by offering a real-time search service. They call it stream dating.
It’s simple to sign up from your facebook or twitter account and share your information from last.fm, pandora, netflix, flickr and more.
In this segment, you will find out:
- Who their users are
- What Steve’s favorite flavor of gelato is
- What is a SCOOP and how to you get a high scoop rating
Listen to hear more about dating in a Web 2.0 World.
Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt
November 4, 2009
Click here and let the flirting begin>>>
The Dos and Don’ts for your Online Dating Profile
October 20, 2009
Join Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira as she provides her Top Dos and Don’ts for creating an attractive online dating profile for both men and women.
Spira will be appearing at Hurry Date’s Pimp Your Profile seminar to be held on Wednesday, October 21, 2009. She will be providing live one-on-advice at their interactive event along with photographer Katie Botel of Katie B. Photography.
Singles will learn
- Tips for the most intriguing profile content
- What your profile should say about you (and what it shouldn’t)
- One-on-one profile critique by Cyber-Dating Expert, Julie Spira
- Receive a free professional photo that can be used on your online dating profile
Who? Single? Come on down!
Where? Rush Street, 9546 Washington Blvd, Culver City, CA
When? Check in at 7:00 pm, Event begins at 7:30pm
What else? Drink Specials!
How Much? Members $22.50; Non-Members $30.00
To purchase tickets go to HurryDate.com
Julie Spira is a dating coach and the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at http://CyberDatingExpert.com
Cyber Wedding Album – Kendra and John
October 19, 2009
Kendra and John – Denville, NJ
Met in September, 2004
Engaged in September, 2005
Married in September, 2006
Met on Match.com® Official Site
Kendra and John met in 2004. They are now happily married and have a 15-month old daughter, thanks to the help of the online dating site, Match.com® Official Site.
Congtatulations to Kendra and John, our Cyber Wedding Album couple, from your friends at Cyber-Dating Expert.com
How to Avoid The Perils of Cyber-Dating
October 12, 2009
In a recent interview with Erin Darling from TheSmartandPretty.com, we talked about The Perils of Cyber-Dating, the advantages of being able to screen your dates, and how to sift through your overflowing Inbox while searching for love on your favorite online dating site.
Written by Erin Darling
Monday, October 12, 2009 Being a 21st century girl certainly has its advantages and being able to screen your dates is one of them. Although signing up for a website that allows you to sift through a pool of pre-screened men seems almost too good to be true, there are drawbacks and downsides to meeting your next boyfriend through an online dating site. We’ve all seen the commercials featuring smiling, seemingly perfect couples, holding hands and walking barefoot along a private beach telling the camera that they wouldn’t have found true love if it weren’t for (insert dating site name here).com. But is finding Mr. Right online as easy as it seems? Not according to dating coach and cyber-dating expert, Julie Spira who penned the book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Spira believes that although finding a match on match.com is definitely possible, it’s more than likely you’ll hit a few roadblocks. Spira sat down with The Smart & Pretty to share her wisdom and advice for finding love online.
Peril of the Week – In Second Place
October 9, 2009
I recently heard the story from a man who treated his cyber-date to a lovely evening of fine wining and dining. He thought the evening was going well, but he couldn’t help but notice that his date was taking notes on the napkin during the entire evening.
Finally, she slid the note over to him, face down. He wondered if it was a “love note” or if she was writing some poetry to express her desire for him.
When he turned the paper napkin over, the man was stunned. It was a break up note that said, “I can’t date you anymore. There is another man that I must find out about that I met a week ago. If there isn’t anything there, or if he doesn’t like me, then maybe we can get back together.”
He wasn’t interesting in being the sloppy second and went home laughing about the experience.
Ah, those who think the grass is greener may come up empty handed. Time will tell. But it is she who won’t get the second chance.
The Peril of the Week was contributed by VIP Social Events. For consideration for The Peril of the Week, please send your submissions to info@CyberDatingExpert.com
For more Peril of the Week stories, click here
Book Review – SHE KNOWS
October 3, 2009
Book Review: The Perils of Cyber-Dating
SHEKNOWS Love Sexy Single Column
by Margeaux Baulch Klein
Author Julie Spira encounters every breed of man in her new tell-all memoir, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.
Online since 1994, Spira is a self-proclaimed internet dating pioneer, having gone on over 250 blind dates, receiving several marriage proposals and then marrying (and later divorcing) someone she met online. Spira has turned her dating horror stories and romantic journeys – both the good, bad, and, quite literally, ugly – into a witty memoir that every woman whose ever dipped her toe into the online dating pool will appreciate.
For starters, Spira compares a woman’s online dating profile to a real estate listing:
“In real estate, the first week that your house in on the market is important because if it’s priced correctly, professionally staged, and marketed well, it generates a lot of leads. Hopefully a qualified buyer will show.”
She also offers a “Top Ten Rules of Cyber Dating Netiquette” in Chapter 9 that is one of the best parts of the book. Here are a few tips she endorses:
ONLINE DATING TIP #1:
Don’t knock-off more than 5-10 pounds off of your weight or 5-10 years off of your age on your dating profile. ”It’s always best to be authentic and tell the truth,” she says, “but anything more than that is just too noticeable. You will find yourself meeting someone who won’t be so happy to see you.” In her list of common profile definitions, she also notes that if a man lists his age as 40-something, it means that he’s a 50-something who wants a 30-year-old female.
ONLINE DATING TIP #2:
Don’t Google a potential date before having the opportunity to see if there is a connection. Partly due to her own embarrassment over a New York Times wedding announcement that she wishes didn’t come up when people searched for her, Spira believes that it’s too easy to misconstrue or jump to an incorrect conclusion about a piece of informationwithout knowing its context.
ONLINE DATING TIP #3:
“A man should not suggest sharing an appetizer on the first date, nor should he meet his date for coffee without the intention of ordering a beverage.” Spira hates cheap men.
ONLINE DATING TIP #4:
Don’t discuss ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands, or anything to do with body parts, extramarital affairs, and long lost loves on a first date. Spira declares that information should be rationed over the course of getting to know someone.
ONLINE DATING TIP #5:
Don’t cyber-fight. Although it’s tempting to hit ’send’ and launch an angry missive into cyberspace, Spira recommends sleeping on any upset or hurt feelings. “When in doubt, pick up the phone to get that real connection,” she says.
Even after two failed marriages and four engagements, Spira believes in remaining a “hopeful romantic.” She is still in search of her happily ever after.
For more info on The Perils of Cyber-Dating, visit CyberDatingExpert.com
