Internet dating, social dating, Facebook dating, meeting offline or at work, what’s a single dater to do?
A question I get asked often about online dating versus meeting someone offline is, which method is better for me to find the perfect date or mate?
While experts might not agree on this topic, even offline Matchmakers are incorporating digital dating into their business. I believe the answer is clear. There is no one-size fits all formula and everyone’s relationship goals may differ. From hook-ups to marriage proposals, there’s a site and way for everyone.
In my dating coaching practice, I work with singles who are truly looking for a meaningful relationship and send those looking to hookup to a variety of mobile dating apps. Whether it leads you to marriage or not, finding love online needs to be part of your dating regime, just like finding a job online from a message board or Linkedin will help you find your dream job. Being able to grow and maintain your relationship offline is critical as you go through the different phases of a relationship.
As one who believes in casting a wide net, I tell singles that you really need to do both. It’s not one way or the other. In reality, online dating, if done correctly, is just a method or service that will get you out there in the real world to meet someone offline IRL (In-Real-Life).
However, some really think the process of finding someone to love is an either-or proposition. I beg to differ. If you’re truly not comfortable with the computer and don’t think your iPhone or Android is truly a SmartPhone, you’re leaving opportunities behind that could change your relationship status to “In a Relationship,” “Engaged” or “Married” while your friends cheer you on.
Here are some pros and cons on finding love both online and offline.
Pro: Over 40 million singles in the U.S have tried online dating.
Con: It’s a crowded digital marketplace and can be an exhausting experience.
Pro: One out of five relationships start online. Whether it’s on Social media, Facebook, Twitter, a mobile app, or traditional online dating site, there are a lot of success stories.
Con: People lie about their age, weight, height, income, and marital status. Singles get frustrated after a few bad dates.
Pro: You can meet people outside of your geographic area and social circle with similar interests. You’ll meet more people, so you can learn what you’re truly looking for in a date, mate, or relationship.
Con: It can become addicting to some, who never meet offline or are looking for the next pretty face. Beware of the Digital Pen-Pal Syndrome.
Pro: It’s efficient and available 24-hours a day.
Con: It’s like a full-time job for many and you must be organized.
Pro: You may have friends in common which will make you more comfortable.
Con: You’re not really sure of their relationship status.
Pro: You can determine if there’s chemistry in person.
Con: You’re limited to your existing social circles or regular activities and will meet less people.
Pro: It’s pre-dating, without the pressure of wondering if you’re date is who they say they are.
Con: People decide too quickly that they aren’t interested or have no chemistry.
Pro: You can develop new friendships with people with similar interests, even if it doesn’t turn into a romantic relationship.
Con: You’re limiting yourself to a certain geographic area.
At the end of the digital day, if you’re serious about meeting someone special, you must include a combination of both online and offline dating in your routine. Remember the goal of online dating is to take your relationship offline. Riding into the digital sunset together is now a way of everyday life.
If you need a little hand holding, contact us about our Irresistible Profiles and dating coaching to help you find your dream date.
Julie Spira is an Online Dating Expert who was a very early adopter of the Internet. She created her first dating profile almost 20 years ago and has been helping singles on the dating scene. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt.
As an early adopter of Internet dating and as an Online Dating Expert with almost 20 years of writing dating profiles, I’ve helped many Jewish singles find love on JDate. Some fond memories include one couple who gave birth to the first JDate baby, and another who found love by expanding their zip code to include dating in Europe. Many couples who I’ve coached have taken my online dating advice are now happily married or are in long-term exclusive relationships.
I know that cyber dating can be challenging, but there are so many Internet dating success stories that are worth sharing and I look forward to watching all of your marriage proposal videos.
If you’ve met your fiance or spouse on JDate, I invite you to share a video on their Facebook page about your marriage proposal and enter their Top Proposal Contest.
One lucky couple will be treated to on a 7-Day romantic trip to Breezes in the Bahamas. Isn’t it time for a second honeymoon?
Details can be found on their Facebook Page.
Need help with your online dating profile? Visit IrresistibleProfiles.com to learn more on how we can help you find your dream date.
Photo credit: JDate
It’s time to put on my DJ hat again. Since today is Bruce Springsteen’s birthday, we’re featuring a romantic love song, “I’ll Work For Your Love” as our Cyber Love Song of the Week.
This song is so romantic, that it was once requested to be played in concert so a guy could propose marriage to his girlfriend.
Listen to the melody and lyrics of this song and let us know if it makes you swoon.
Do you have a favorite Cyber Love Song?
Listen to our other featured Cyber Love Songs of the Week.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
On WashPost Live, Online Dating Expert Julie Spira and Dr. Eli Finkel from Northwestern University talk with Nia-Malika Henderson about online dating algorithms and the latest trends in mobile dating. Has online dating become a social dating experience? Why is Tinder the hottest new mobile dating app? Is cyber dating here to stay?
All these questions and more were discussed on the latest in Internet dating on Washington Post’s Live Channel, On Background.
From creating Irresistible Profiles, to listening to your date updates in 15 Magic Minutes, and with our exciting promotion with ProFlowers, where five lucky winners will be receiving stunning roses to send to someone they’ve got a crush on, or to keep for themselves.
The five winners of the Romance and Roses Contest are:
Alex Shapiro – @AlexShapiroPR
Kerianne Mellott – @keri_mellott
Cija Black – @modernloveguide
Each winner will receive one of three choices in a romantic rose bouquet from ProFlowers.com. Even if you didn’t win the free roses, during National Romance Awareness Month, you can save up to 50% off a large variety of flowers and roses. Visit ProFlowers.com/Romance to find the perfect floral bouquet for you.
Still need a little more romance in your life? Now through the end of the month, we’ll be giving 10 winners a day 15 Magic Minutes for FREE! That’s right. We know that you could be frustrated with dating, or that your profile could use a second set of eyes.
You can enter by following @JulieSpira and tweeting @JulieSpira I’d like to win 15 Magic Minutes. #romancemonth.
Increase your chances of winning by posting to our Facebook page and let us know why you want to win 15 Magic Minutes.
Enter here for your chance to speak with Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira via phone or Skype for free with your dating questions during National Romance Awareness Month.
From August 19-31, 20 lucky singles will have the chance to win the Cyber-Dating Expert 15 Magic Minutes service completely free.
That’s right! Do you have a burning question about your love life, did you have a bad date last night? Confused about his or her text messages? Have a bit of a bump on the road in your relationship? All these questions and more will be answered by Julie Spira, the country’s top online dating expert and digital matchmaker.
Enter here for your chance to speak to Julie via phone or Skype. This offer is valid in the United States and Canada for singles and couples 21+.
After my divorce three years ago, one of my single friends suggested I try online dating. I wasn’t sure if it was for me, but now my ego is invested and I’m going on at least five dates a week. When the dates are over, I log back on to see who else I can meet.
While I’m excited to meet so many different people, I never can get to the point of wanting to be with just one guy. I’m not sleeping with anyone, but my friends think I’ve got commitment issues and the thought of taking down my profile makes me anxious.
Then when I see a guy I’ve dated has met someone else and moved on, I feel bad.
Is this normal?
Online Dating Addict
Joining an online dating site after a divorce is a great way to rebuild your self-esteem. Sure the ego is being stroked with so many men writing to you and watching your inbox fill up with male suitors. There’s no magic timetable of how long you should play the digital field, but at some point, being a permanent member of an online dating site can be demoralizing.
Decide exactly what you’re looking for and make sure you’re upfront about it both on your profile and during your dates. Let men know that you’re newly single and will be casually dating multiple guys for a while. At some point, you need to decide if you really want to be in a relationship or not. Becoming one who needs to log on for hours a day every day without ever finding a relationship doesn’t mean you’re an online dating addict. It just means you’re enjoying meeting many different types of people online that you wouldn’t have had the chance to meet offline.
If it’s truly your goal to find one special person to share your life with, when you find chemistry and mutual interests with someone, you need to give the guy the chance to be your one and only to see what it’s like to be in a relationship. Yes, that means taking down your profile. If it doesn’t work out, then just reactivate your profile and keep searching.
When you’re ready to go steady, you’ll know it. Until then, enjoy meeting a variety of people. I always say there are 64 colors in the Crayola crayon box. I feel the same way about online dating. It’s not an addiction unless you feel it’s a problem. Don’t let your friends comments influence how you feel about dating after a divorce.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Do you have a question for Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira? Send your questions here and read other Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert columns for online dating advice.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt.
Love never goes out of style, but did you know the entire month of August is National Romance Awareness Month? We’re so delighted to announce that Cyber-Dating Expert has teamed up with ProFlowers to make your life a bit more romantic this week with the Romance and Roses Giveaway.
For five days starting August 12 and continuing through August 16, Cyber-Dating Expert will be giving away one beautiful arrangement of long stemmed roses to a lucky winner. You can send them to your sweetheart or keep them for yourself, or better yet, keep one dozen and show up on his or her doorstep with the second dozen roses!
Who doesn’t like receiving beautiful roses? We’ll be selectin one winner a day all week long. Those five lucky winners can choose from three selected styles: 2-Dozen ‘Diamonds’ and Roses, 18 Red Velvet Roses, or 18 Long Stemmed Roses.
In addition, ProFlowers is offering promotions of up to 50% off on a variety of special bouquets at unbelievably low prices. Visit ProFlowers.com/Romance to view their beautiful selections. ProFlowers offers a wide selection of stunning flower arrangements with a seven-day “freshness” guarantee.
No purchase is necessary.
Enter the contest here: ROMANCE AND ROSES GIVEAWAY
Best of luck. Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more online dating advice, sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
We’re in the middle of the summer with lots of hot August nights.
Enjoy our featured Cyber Love Song of the Week from Sly and the Family Stone with Hot Fun in the Summertime.
This song will never go out of style and may get your feet tapping.
Do you have a favorite summer love song? Listen to our other featured Cyber Love Songs at CyberDatingExpert.com
In this episode of Online Dating BootCamp, Dating Expert Julie Spira works with Lauren from Beverly Hills who is looking for love online.
Just how many photos should you post to your online dating profile? Lauren posted ten photos on her Match profile, but her primary shot showed her wearing sunglasses. Lauren explains that she likes sunglasses, but her stunning eyes were hiding behind her designer shades. An online dating no-no. Remember, women often dress for women. Men like the basics, not the labels. Other shots were blurry, artsy, and didn’t show Lauren at her best.
Watch as we select the best five photos to attract the perfect date, taking into consideration how many “likes” each photo received by the men who viewed her profile.
What photos don’t belong on dating profiles and what’s the magic number? Find out more by viewing our Online Dating BootCamp video.
For more on Online Dating BootCamp, visit CyberDatingExpert.com.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestseller author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Julie was a very early adopter of Internet dating and is the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. Julie creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.