“If only my profile brought me my dream man.”
“Online dating works for some, but never for me.”
“Irresistible Profile? Right.”
These are some of the comments that I hear from frustrated online daters who quit within the first month after joining an Internet dating site.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
I feel your pain and know that just like having the perfect resume to get your dream job, your online dating profile needs to be IRRESISTIBLE to capture his or her attention. Sometimes you need a little bit of digital hand holding. Now, singles in Los Angeles will have the opportunity to learn all of the Secrets to Finding Love Online on Wednesday, May 22nd in Studio City, CA.
It’s with great excitement to announce our partnership between Cyber-Dating Expert, Julie Spira and Hurry Date to Pimp Your Profile.
I’ll be on hand with my best tips and will critique everyone’s profiles privately so you can quickly ride into the digital sunset together.
You deserve to have an Irresistible Profile.
Tickets are very limited, so RSVP now!
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter. To RSVP for the Pimp Your Profile Seminar, click here.
Whether you’ve gone through a recent breakup or you’ve gotten divorced after 20 years of marriage, even if the wounds are still raw, know that your decision to create an online dating profile is a step in the right direction.
Here are 6 simple tips to get you started.
1. Have a Profile Party. It’s time to take the plunge and join an online dating site. This is a digital statement telling the world that you’re not going to sit home and feel sorry for yourself. I recommend that you grab a girlfriend or two and let them participate in a Profile Party. After all, your BFF’s will want to hear the juicy details of your dates and they truly want to see you move forward with your life. Find a few outfits with bright colors such as red or bright pink and let your friends snap the photos for you. If you’re in the Los Angeles area, you can sign up for our Pimp Your Profile Seminar on May 22nd , where I’ll be working with singles how to ramp up their profile in person! If you’re anxious to get started now, here are some of our favorite dating sites. Some offer special discounts to Cyber-Dating Expert readers.
2. It’s a Bio, not a novel. Not sure what to write about yourself? When creating your Internet dating bio and on your first dates, less is more. Don’t focus on what went wrong in your relationship. Talking about your ex is an instant buzz-kill. You’ll come across as someone who just hasn’t gotten over him or her yet.
3. Talk about the kids. If you’re a parent, do mention how important your children are and list their ages in your profile, but don’t post photos of them. A man would like to know that you have time for him in your life, while you juggle work, parenting, and a new relationship. A woman will project to the future to decide whether she wants to be a part of an extended family. Hiding the kids isn’t going to attract your dream date. An understanding partner will appreciate your devotion to your family.
4. Ask and answer questions. Keep your introduction emails short and simple and mention something in his profile that caught your eye. I recommend only a few sentences. It’s also good to ask a question, which will provoke an answer. Mention one of your favorite rock bands and ask if they’ve ever seen them perform live. List some of your dream vacation spots and ask if they’ve ever traveled there. Your goal is to create a conversation based upon your passions.
5. Head over to Facebook and change your relationship status to “Single.” Yes, it may come to a shock to some of your friends, but others might be ready to introduce you to one of their friends. Some of the couples on Facebook Love Stories actually fell in love on Facebook, reconnected with crushes from high school and college, and tied the knot after seeing that someone they knew was suddenly single again.
6. Give good phone. As a parent, your time is very precious. Do make sure you have a phone date before you set up time to meet in person. If you don’t feel any chemistry on the phone, don’t waste your time on setting up a date that probably won’t go well. Avoid becoming a digital pen pal with your new online crush and take your relationship from online to offline within the first few weeks.
Getting divorced is traumatic for everyone. This isn’t the time to compare war-room stories with potential dates. With these online dating tools at your digital finger tips, you’ll be able to start the next chapter of your life sooner, rather than later. Remember, the person that you’ll be meeting may have also gone through a divorce or loss of a loved one. He or she might be just as nervous as you are about starting over again.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert who’s been helping singles find love online since 1994. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for our free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Photo credit: © ijdema – Fotolia.com
When you’ve signed up for an online dating site, at first you’ll be dating multiple people. We know it can be expensive. Then suddenly you meet the perfect girl online. Your phone chemistry is off the charts. The first date went so well, that you can’t wait to see her again. You’d like to show up with a dozen roses or provide a posh mode of transportation for your evening on the town to impress her. But what if you don’t have a lot of money and your credit is on the low end? It’s not uncommon with today’s economic shift to feel financially strapped while dating. Finding love online can be euphoric or cause a bit of anxiety in the early days.
The relationship between money and dating causes unnecessary stress for both men and women. Women want men who are financially secure. Men want women they’re attracted to who would fall in love with them, instead of their bank account.
So what should you do to impress her without breaking the bank? I believe that bringing a dozen tulips, costing 1/3 of the price will put a big smile on her face, but if you’d like to eventually splurge on a romantic vacation, it might be time to fix your credit and avoid spending more than you can afford.
While you’re getting your financial house in order, you still can impress a date with fun and inexpensive activities.
Nifty Date Ideas has several affordable suggestions for your next online date.
- Take your date to a remote spot to watch the sunset and bring a picnic lunch or dinner. If you live in a northern climate and the Aurora Borealis or a meteor shower can be seen that night, you could make an exception.
- Perform community service such as going to a community center to volunteer, planting flowers for a neighbor or shoveling snow.
- Playing board games is inexpensive, and there’s a wide range of games available: Monopoly, Candy Land or Sorry.
- Take your date on a nature walk and pick raspberries or blackberries. Eat them along the walk or save them in buckets to make a pie or tart.
- Remember the fun of school field trips? Take a free factory tour or visit a historical building to relive those grade-school excursions.
- Visit a library or bookstore, find a cozy corner and browse through books or magazines. You can also rent audiobooks or movies at most local libraries. The spot might have a coffee shop, so you can discuss what you read over a hot mocha or latte.
There’s no need to go into debt to impress your next date. You should still take some time to repair your credit in the next 6-12 months and be responsible about not spending more than you can afford.
How to Improve Your Score
Money problems is one of the top reasons for a relationship to split up. If your credit rating is low and your long-term goals are to find someone to spend the rest of your life with and even possibly buy a home or lease a car, it’s a good idea to start working on improving your credit score. MSN Money suggests you start by opening a line of credit through a credit card. It states you don’t need to carry a balance to have good scores; it’s a myth. Consider a secured credit card if you can’t open a traditional credit card. The issuing bank gives you a credit line equal to the deposit you make for a secured card. MSN Money says paying off your mortgage, auto and student loans can help, but not as dramatically as paying off accounts such as credit cards. Pay your bills on time and, if you can, pay more than the balance due.
If you want to improve your credit in a bigger way, consider getting a used car. Used cars are a good choice because a car that is only a year old is 20 to 30 percent cheaper than a new car, according to Edmunds.com. And it’s possible to get a regular interest rate, even with poor credit. A person with good credit will usually get an interest rate on a used car between 5 and 7 percent, while many auto companies and lenders will finance a vehicle or OK a loan from 6.7 to 13.5 percent, according to bankrate.com.
Have you managed to find fun and affordable dates?
Your comments are welcome.
Cyber-Dating Expert and Three Day Rule are teaming up again to bring you Mobile Dating BootCamp.
This year’s contestants will try to find love from the convenience of their mobile phones with a whole new list of mobile dating apps.
Mobile dating apps are all the rage. Ten lucky singles in Los Angeles will be competing to find their dream date.
Last year’s Mobile Dating BootCamp was featured in the Washington Post newspaper.
This year’s mobile dating apps this include:
- Let’s Date
- Match Mobile
- How About We
- Plenty of Fish
Daters will be receiving private coaching from online dating expert Julie Spira and prizes galore from Three Day Rule.
All contestants will meet together at the Mobile Dating Conference in Beverly Hills, where they’ll be generously hosted by iDate to enjoy a catered meal at the SLS Hotel and will share their experiences with Internet dating executives in a focus group panel.
Plus, Uber has generously donated round trip transportation in Los Angeles with a private driver to the hotel for each contestant.
For more information and to apply for your chance to be included, visit MobileDatingBootCamp.com/apply.
Today is Sir Elton John’s birthday, so we’re featuring one of his best love songs ever and his very first hit, Your Song.
Enjoy this live performance and list some of your favorite love songs in the comments.
Do you have a favorite love song?
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for our free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Get out your digital fingers as this week the pressure may be on to propose marriage to your sweetheart as today is not just the first day of Spring, but it’s also National Proposal Day.
Held twice a year in both the Spring and the Fall, Proposal Day falls on the Vernal Equinox, where daytime and nighttime are of equal lengths.
While I still long to see traditional marriage proposals, complete with the gentleman asking for permission from the father of the future bride, to getting down on one knee and asking, “Will you marry me?,” the trend to announce relationship status changes and become “Facebook Official” is happening more-and-more online, than offline. We’re dating in a Web 2.0 World, so does a digital courtship include proposing in cyberspace?
Are Facebook pages replacing the New York Times wedding section as the place to submit engagement announcements?
With one out of five relationships starting online, it’s a natural progression to see a digital marriage proposal and to even see live tweeting during a wedding ceremony and reception. But still you need to ask yourself and your significant other, would you want your marriage proposal to be handled on the public Internet, at a ball game, on TV, or do you prefer that this be an intimate experience for just the two of you?
Talking about how you use social media as a couple is imperative to the success of your relationship. Both of you need to be on the same digital page, or it can backfire and cause friction in your relationship.
Just this week, the big news was the announcement by Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn that they’re officially a couple. How did we find out? Together they shared their new status on their individual Facebook pages. While responses to their announcement filled the Twitterverse, one might ask, will they soon be ready for a digital marriage proposal?
In a heartwarming and surprising marriage proposal, Huntsville Alabama TV anchor Jillian Pavlica of Fox 54 was shocked when the live breaking news story she was reading turned out to be her very own marriage proposal from her boyfriend, Vince Ramos. After reading the news in front of her television viewing audience, Ramos appeared on the set. Fortunately, she said yes, but it also included a social media element of the video going viral along with sharing the news on her Twitter page.
Mashable reported on 5 couples who met on Social Media, from Flickr, Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter.
We’re living in a world that is surrounded by online activity. Couples jumping on the digital bandwagon today profess their love look at it in the same romantic way as someone who might have received a marriage proposal on the Jumbotron at a baseball or basketball game years ago.
These days, couples want to create a digital history of their relationship to add to their digital memory book. From memorializing the first date, first kiss, and even the marriage proposal Facebook timelines are filled with these romantic moments.
Still, with a digital marriage proposal, you might run the risk of embarrassment if you don’t say “Yes” to “I do.”
Wishing you a Happy National Proposal Day and much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Would you, or wouldn’t you propose marriage on Facebook, Twitter, Groupon, or in an Infographic? Would you say yes? Feel free to chime in with your thoughts.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Digital Manners. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com and RulesofNetiquette.com.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter
Photo credit: © Denys Rudyi – Fotolia.com
For me, there are few things more upsetting than having to “rain check” on a date you’ve been excited about for days because you’ve come down with a bug, like the flu. Will he think I’m not interested? Will he want to reschedule? Will he meet someone else this weekend? All these thoughts stirring in the back of your mind can have you wanting to scream, “What The Flu?!?”
But rest assured, today there are several real-time, digital ways to maintain their interest, even if you’re sick at home with the flu.
Below are a five easy digital ways to help keep you top of mind from afar, so you’re not spreading germs while you’re on the road to recovery.
- Text Message. The day after taking a rain check, send a text message saying, “Looking forward to chatting after I feel better. How’s your day going?” Incorporating a question at the end of the text is the key to eliciting a response and keeping the conversation alive.
- Facebook. Friend your date on Facebook if you aren’t already friends. This is a sure way to let them know you are thinking of them and interested in getting to know them better.
- Twitter. Tweet a light-hearted, and even funny, message that let’s your date know that you are in fact sick at home with the flu. And, be sure to use the #WTFlu hashtag when referencing your flu mishap! You just might receive a special care package.
- Email. Shoot your date a short-but-sweet email after calling them to postpone the date. It’s important when sending an email to make sure it doesn’t come off as to business-y, so be sure to keep it flirty.
- Send an iTunes Song – Know his favorite group? Email your date a musical gift with songs from his favorite band. Not sure what to send? Try sending a song that really lets him know you’re ill. Some of my favorites are Bruce Springsteen’s “Fever,” or “Doctor, Doctor” by the Thompson Twins. If you’re relationship is more serious, he might enjoy hearing Robert Palmer’s “Bad Case of Loving You,” while he hopes you’re on the road to a speedy recovery.
Sick at home and wishing you were on your date instead? Visit Clorox’s new #WTFlu Tumblr page to commiserate about those frustrating “What the Flu?!?” moments – like missing out on a hot date – we all can relate to. You can also get in on the action by sharing your own flu mishaps on Twitter with the #WTFlu hashtag.
I am working with Clorox as a paid spokesperson for their #WTFlu program. All opinions are my own.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene.
The big question today is, would you go on a first date on Valentine’s Day? We said yes. According to Facebook, 70% of their relationship status changes are announced on Valentine’s Day. Perhaps there’s something to it!
Speaking of Facebook, this week we launched a new site called Facebook Love Stories. We hope you check it out and let us know if you met your sweetheart on Facebook.
Our friends at eHarmony are having a F.R.E.E. Communication weekend from February 14th to 18th. Details here:
Happy Valentine’s Day. Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and digital matchmaker. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for the Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
In a recent interview with CNN’s Karin Caifa, we talked about digital etiquette for Valentine’s Day.
With courtship getting digital, here are some dos and don’ts on posting your date or romantic rendezvous on social media.
Some of the tips include:
- Do put that smart phone down. It sends a bad message to your date that maybe there’s someone more important than the person sitting across the table from you.
- Don’t post all of those early date details on Twitter or Facebook.
- Do share very little about what’s going on with your your new beau in the early stages of the relationship.
- Don’t lose friends and followers by over sharing your relationship details
- Do keep in mind who might be on your sweetheart’s list of Facebook friends. Coworkers, a boss, family members, even parents. Those wall posts that you think are sweet could be embarrassing to your Valentine.
- Don’t post your play-by-play every hour about your romantic rendezvous including arriving at the hotel, seeing the flowers in the room, going to dinner, or sipping champagne.
Remember, in a new relationship, he may still be dating others, you may be dating others, and you’re not ready to become “Facebook Exclusive,” until you’ve had the talk.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and netiquette expert. She’s the author of The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Digital Manners and The Perils of Cyber-Dating.
For more digital dating advice, visit CyberDatingExpert.com, where you can sign up for the Weekly Flirt newsletter, Facebook.com/RulesofNetiquette and Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
Just in time for Valentine’s Day, facialist-extraordinnaire Gia, from Gia Skin Care, shares her Red Velvet Mask. It looks and smells so good, you may find yourself nibbling on it while applying it to your face.
How do you enjoy this do-it-yourself process at home?
All you’ll need is a food processor or blender and the following ingredients:
1/4 Cup of Fresh Organic Raspberries
1 Tablespoon Manuka or Raw Local Honey
1 Teaspoon of powdered Cocoa
1-2 Tablespoons Organic Almond Milk
Blend all the ingredients until it becomes a smooth velvety consistency.
Apply your mask from a bowl with either an applicator or facial brush making sure you avoid the eye area.
Leave on 10 minutes and simply Breathe and Relax.
With the amazing power of antioxidants from the raspberries and the medicinal antibacterial healing qualities from the honey, this is the ideal indulging mask without any calories!
It’s a nice way to pamper yourself, while getting ready for your next cyber-date.
Julie Spira is leading online dating expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. For online dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.