The Best Ways to Wear Jeans on a Date

Casual or dressy? What do you wear on a date?  Sometimes I believe a dress shows your femininity. Other times, jeans can show a carefree happy look on a date.

My friend Jennifer, who just launched Dress for the Date has some great suggestions on how to wear jeans on your next date.

I have two girlfriends who, at different points in my adult life, said they “would never wear jeans on a date”. Honestly, I never really understood that thinking, but figured they had their own fashion-faithful reasons.

Last year I was a cocktail party where one of these women, who happened to be with a handsome jean-clad date, was now wearing jeans. But, they were definitely not a date-appropriate pair.

The jeans were way too acid washed, over-the-top too tight, and had more manufactured holes than a wheel of Swiss cheese. That being said, let’s get down and dirty, and go over the best ways for men and women to wear jeans on a date.

At Dress for the Date think it’s always safe to go with a pair of dark blue or black denim jeans. Darker denim is continuously flattering, regardless of your size. Pair the jeans with a simple white or black shirt, which, depending on the date, is easy to dress up or down with accessories.

Ladies – Dressier Night Out

For a dressier night out, channel your inner J-Lo by glamming up your jeans outfit with some tasteful sparkly bangles and a great pair of sparkly hoops. Don’t forget to rock a pair of smoking hot black heels and a great hand clutch purse.

Ladies – Casual Date

Let’s say you’re hitting happy hour at the local dive bar with a man you’ve just met on Match.com. You’ll want to keep your outfit street-stylish and rock n’ roll chic to balance a flirty look with some edge. Black jeans tucked into some well-worn boots and a scoop neck tank (another fashion staple) with a motorcycle jacket will get your date’s engine revving.

For men, we here at Dress for the Date say step – no, RUN — far, far away from any embellished denim. Ed Hardy sword and skull, or Dragon Vs. Mermaid embroidered jeans will send your date fleeing for higher ground.

We do suggest that you stick with the basics. Jeans by Ernest Sewn or the good ole’ Levis 501’s will never fail you. Stick with darker washes and no manmade holes.

Men – Dressier Night Out

For cocktail parties, the darker the jeans, the better. Pair them a solid basic-fit dress shirt, a loose tie, and a vest. Don’t forget the shoes! Us gals always notice a great pair of shoes. We suggest trying a pair of leather lace-up oxfords.

Men – Casual Date

Much to your surprise, the person you’ve been eyeing at the local Starbucks has asked you out for a coffee date over the weekend! Keep your outfit low-key for this type of date. Think Levi’s 501’s and a black V-neck T-shirt ala Simon Cowell. Match it with a great stainless steel watch and a pair of stylish high top sneakers. Your date will be glad that they made the first move.

About DressfortheDate.com
People eat with their eyes first, and first impressions are ultra-important when you go on a date. DressfortheDate.com provides fashion advice for daters, both men and women. From brief online consultations to lengthy in-person shopping trips and consultations, a DressfortheDate.com stylist helps you “discover a better-looking you, so you can step out the door with confidence.” Founded by dating guru Jennifer Kelton, DressfortheDate.com provides dating fashion advice for as little as $20, so anyone can afford to look their best. Review the options at DressfortheDate.com, including a free dating fashion advice blog.

6 Tips for Online Dating After Divorce

Whether you’ve gone through a recent breakup or you’ve gotten divorced after 20 years of marriage, even if the wounds are still raw, know that your decision to create an online dating profile is a step in the right direction.

Here are 6 simple tips to get you started.

1. Have a Profile Party. It’s time to take the plunge and join an online dating site. This is a digital statement telling the world that you’re not going to sit home and feel sorry for yourself. I recommend that you grab a girlfriend or two and let them participate in a Profile Party. After all, your BFF’s will want to hear the juicy details of your dates and they truly want to see you move forward with your life. Find a few outfits with bright colors such as red or bright pink and let your friends snap the photos for you. If you’re in the Los Angeles area, you can sign up for our Pimp Your Profile Seminar on May 22nd , where I’ll be working with singles how to ramp up their profile in person! If you’re anxious to get started now, here are some of our favorite dating sites. Some offer special discounts to Cyber-Dating Expert readers.

2. It’s a Bio, not a novel. Not sure what to write about yourself? When creating your Internet dating bio and on your first dates, less is more. Don’t focus on what went wrong in your relationship. Talking about your ex is an instant buzz-kill. You’ll come across as someone who just hasn’t gotten over him or her yet.

3. Talk about the kids. If you’re a parent, do mention how important your children are and list their ages in your profile, but don’t post photos of them. A man would like to know that you have time for him in your life, while you juggle work, parenting, and a new relationship. A woman will project to the future to decide whether she wants to be a part of an extended family. Hiding the kids isn’t going to attract your dream date. An understanding partner will appreciate your devotion to your family.

4. Ask and answer questions. Keep your introduction emails short and simple and mention something in his profile that caught your eye. I recommend only a few sentences. It’s also good to ask a question, which will provoke an answer. Mention one of your favorite rock bands and ask if they’ve ever seen them perform live. List some of your dream vacation spots and ask if they’ve ever traveled there. Your goal is to create a conversation based upon your passions.

5.  Head over to Facebook and change your relationship status to “Single.” Yes, it may come to a shock to some of your friends, but others might be ready to introduce you to one of their friends. Some of the couples on Facebook Love Stories actually fell in love on Facebook, reconnected with crushes from high school and college, and tied the knot after seeing that someone they knew was suddenly single again.

6. Give good phone. As a parent, your time is very precious. Do make sure you have a phone date before you set up time to meet in person. If you don’t feel any chemistry on the phone, don’t waste your time on setting up a date that probably won’t go well. Avoid becoming a digital pen pal with your new online crush and take your relationship from online to offline within the first few weeks.

Getting divorced is traumatic for everyone. This isn’t the time to compare war-room stories with potential dates. With these online dating tools at your digital finger tips, you’ll be able to start the next chapter of your life sooner, rather than later. Remember, the person that you’ll be meeting may have also gone through a divorce or loss of a loved one. He or she might be just as nervous as you are about starting over again.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert who’s been helping singles find love online since 1994. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for our free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Photo credit: © ijdema – Fotolia.com

Julie Spira Named in Top 10 Best Online Dating Experts

It’s an honor and joy to have been named in the Top 10 Best Online Dating Experts by DatingAdvice.com.

Words can’t describe how super-thrilled I am to be a part of this wonderful community.

Being in the business of love and helping singles find love on the Internet since 1994 is something I’m so proud of. Every day I hold the digital hands of singles and help them ease into taking their relationships from online to offline. I give them the strength and confidence to start over when their relationships run their course and I feature their success stories in our Cyber Love Story of the Week.

Many thanks to the Editors at DatingAdvice.com for acknowledging my passion in this industry that I love so very much and for selecting me as their featured Online Dating Expert.  I invite you to sign up for our Free Weekly Flirt newsletter for more online dating advice and to stay in touch.

I thank you from the very bottom of my heart.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Cyber Love Links – 10 Links to Love

As the week draws to an end, it’s time to share our 10 favorite dating articles on the web and on Twitter for your weekend reading pleasure in Cyber Love Links — Links to Love, When You’re in the Mood for Love.

1. On Thought Catalog, we enjoyed 10 Reasons Not to Give Up on Love by Chelsea Fagan. I’m sure you can relate to some, if not all of these.

2. Our friends at Men’s Fitness asked the ladies what they didn’t like about emails from male online daters. Here are their findings with Do’s and Don’ts of Online Dating.

3. On the flip side, on eHarmony, the ladies should read 10 Things Women Should Never Say to Men.

4. In time for Passover,  we loved JDate’s article, Don’t Pass Over the JDate Haggadah. Will you take a date to a Seder? We’d love to know.

5. A huge Happy 5th Birthday to our friends at The Frisky. My how time flies! We’re happy to share their 15 Dating Don’ts Worth Repeating Again.

6. We enjoyed the post on Your Tango, What to Do on a 1st Date to Make Him Fall for You? Not sure about that first kiss? Read this post and put on some lip gloss.

7. In the thank you department, a huge thanks to Fox News for including our tips in Should You Ditch Online Dating?

8. So grateful to Cosmpolitan for the interview, How to Rock the Perfect Online Dating Profile Pic

9. Take a peek at my latest column on DatingAdvice.com, How to Ramp up Your Online Dating Profile.

10. Really dug in with a personal story on Huffington Post in Googling Your Dates ~Can It Backfire?

Have a favorite story to share with us? Post it in our comments.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Julie Spira on WGN – Online Dating Advice and Tips

Did you miss the radio broadcast with Online Dating Expert Julie Spira and WGN radio’s Bill Leff?

In an hour-long segment, we covered the dos and don’ts for cyberdating, the pros and cons of doing a Google search on your date, and how to spot fake online dating profiles.

Learn more about dating in a web 2.0 world.

Listen here:

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Valentine’s Day Survival Guide

Whether you love Valentine’s Day or dread it, our Survival Guide will help you get through the day with tips for your loved ones, as well as yourself.

The big question today is, would you go on a first date on Valentine’s Day? We said yes. According to Facebook, 70% of their  relationship status changes are announced on Valentine’s Day. Perhaps there’s something to it!

Speaking of Facebook, this week we launched a new site called Facebook Love Stories. We hope you check it out and let us know if you met your sweetheart on Facebook.

Our friends at eHarmony are having a F.R.E.E. Communication weekend from February 14th to 18th. Details here:

Happy Valentine’s Day. Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

10 Valentine’s Day Date Ideas

Katie Couric’s ‘Play That Online Dating Game’

In the continuing coverage of Manti Te’o and other daters who’ve been duped by online dating romance hoaxes, Katie Couric featured an entire episode of online dating safety with tips on what you need to know, while looking for love online.

On the Katie Show, we learned that online dating sites get more than 500 million clicks per month. Katie added that and 81% of people lie on their profiles.

To add a little entertainment to the serious topic of Internet dating safety, Katie polled her studio audience with three relevant dating deal-breaker questions that most female online daters could relate to.

Dating Deal-Breaker 1

Katie: “He’s talk dark and handsome. In real life he’s short and stout. Is that a deal breaker or not?”

Audience: 69% said Yes. 31% said No.

Dating Deal-Breaker 2

Katie: “His profile says his picture was from last week. Reality: It was from 1972. Is that a deal breaker or not?”

Audience: 71% said Yes. 29% said No.

Dating Deal-Breaker 3

Katie: “His profile says, ‘Filthy Rich.” Reality, he’s Dead Broke.”

Audience: 58% said Yes. 32% said No.

For more online dating safety tips from the Katie show, visit KatieCouric.com.

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. For more online dating advice,  follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for the Weekly Flirt newsletter and join the conversation at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Should I Give My Online Date My Phone Number?

Dear Cyber-Dating Expert,

My new profile is starting to get more attention and I’m excited about it, but I’m confused about phone etiquette.

What should I do when a guy I meet online asks me for my phone number?

I’m a bit squeamish about giving my number out to someone I haven’t met. One guy, who seems nice, has asked for it so we can talk this weekend.

Another guy just gave me his number. Do I have to reciprocate and give him mine as well, or should I just let him know that I’ll call.

~Confused

Dear Confused,

As a woman, I can understand why you’d like to keep your phone number private from someone you haven’t met.

There’s no reason to give out your phone number so quickly. I always recommend signing up for a free Google Voice phone number for dating. It’s simple to do. Just go to Google.com/voice. You will be assigned a phone number that isn’t associated to your name in any phone directory. You can have the calls forwarded to your cell phone.

This way if anyone who bothers you keeps calling, you can block their number or have the option to change it to another Google Voice number for dating.

Having a Google Voice number protects your identity and should solve the problem.

Phone number exchanges are really very personal. Some women prefer to give out their number so the men can call them. Others like to take control and do the dialing.

My suggestion is to ask the man for his number and what times are convenient for him to talk. If he doesn’t answer when you call, leave a message and say you’ll call back later.

As far as reciprocating, you don’t have to give out your phone number when a man provides his. See how the conversation goes and if you’re comfortable, then yes, give him your CELL number. He doesn’t have to know it’s really a Google voice number. It’s your secret for now.

If someone asks for your number, let them know you’d be happy to call him and ask for his number.

If all goes well on your date, you’ll be happy to exchange numbers with the man who you’d like to add to your date calendar.

Happy Dating!

Do you have a question for Julie Spira?

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Read Julie Spira’s bestselling book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. Available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Should I Respond to Someone Without a Photo?

Dear Julie,

I met this guy online before the holidays and he seemed interested in me.

The conversation pleasant enough, but I’m a little creeped out about his recent message.

In this most recent one, he asked me, Have you been single long? What kind of men are you typically interested in?” He also never put up a photo of himself.

I’ve been single for longer than I really want to mention and I don’t really have a type, but I don’t want anyone super unattractive or unhealthy.

What do you think I should do?

~C

Dear C,

It’s great that you’re communicating with someone online.

When a guy posts a profile without a photo, he doesn’t really have all ten toes in.

While you’re concerned about how to respond to him, you actually don’t need to respond to him at all.

The questions he’s asked of you are generic questions. Sometimes guys just don’t know what to ask and are trying their best to open a digital dialog.

You don’t have to say how long you’ve been single to someone you’ve never met. It doesn’t matter if it’s been 3 months or 3 years. He’s single, you’re single and you’re both on a dating site.

If you feel uncomfortable, just don’t reply. If you’re still interested in getting to know him, ask him if he can post his photos so you can see who you are chatting with.

If he isn’t willing to do so, he just isn’t date ready. There are plenty of guys who are genuine and will post recent photos. Take your time and put your energies into a relationship that has the potential of turning into a pleasant date.

Keep us posted.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

~Julie

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. She creates irresistible dating profiles for singles on the dating scene. Julie’s dating advice has appeared on eHarmony, JDate, Match.com, Zoosk, and on her columns on DatingAdvice.com, Examiner, and Huffington Post. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt, and like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Cyber Love Links

As the week comes to an end, it’s time to share this week’s Cyber Love Links–Links to Love, When You’re in the Mood for Love. From online dating advice to meeting IRL, we’ve got you covered.

First, our thanks to Carly Cylinder who included us in her story on Huffington Post,  So You’re on the Wedding D List: Now What?

Our friends at Her Campus quoted us in, On-Again, Off-Again Relationships: Can They Work? Cyber-Dating Expert friend Jenna Birch quoted us in her Answers from a Hot Girl Column to the guy who was frustrated with being the good guy. Check out Why Don’t My Compliments Work on Women? Yes guys, if they’re cheesy, the girls run the other way. Fashionista included our tips in Single All the Way? Expert Fashion Tips for Online Dating. This will help you both with your profile and on that very important first date. We were over-the-moon honored to be included in the Top 100 Blogs by Relationship Experts, so a huge thank you

On Twitter, we shared and loved Online Dating: Google’s Most Searched Singles Sites Of 2012 on Huffington Post Women. Our friends at YourTango posted, 5 Ways Google Affects Our Relationships, Fit Sugar came up with 9 ways to de-stress this holiday season, including nibbling on dark chocolate and lighting candles. On Woman’s Day, we shared, 10 Ways to Navigating the Holidays Alone.  Our new friends at Like Bright came up with their 10 Best Dating Sites list, filled with niche sites to check out for a chuckle and a date.

If you missed our Weekly Flirt, it can be found here.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert, bestselling author and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

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