Spreading Netiquette and Love in New York

In this week’s Where’s Julie column, I’m happy to say that I’m home curled up by the fire busy confirming Valentine’s appearances for the next two weeks. However, in between snowstorms, I had the opportunity to spend a few days in New York City, where I appeared on NBC News to talk about my new book, The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Manners on the Web. The segment was called Netiquette: Minding Your Virtual Manners. I hope you can take a moment to view the video. Comments are always welcome. Even Pope Benedict embraced netiquette for social networking last week.

The Rules of Netiquette was originally the title of a chapter in my first book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, inspired in part when an ex-fiance ended the engagement via email. Yes, that was a netiquette no-no.

While in New York, I had the chance to sip cappuccino with She Knows columnist and author, Jamie Beckman, whose book is featured this month in the Cyber-Dating Expert Reading Room. I also met with the GenConnect group to go over the final details of my Valentine’s live chat scheduled for February 3, 2011 at 3:30pm/Pacific time. The subject will be “For Lovers and Lovers in Waiting.” I’ll be posting details on how you can participate in the live chat on Monday, so get your relationship questions ready.

On Friday, our friends at eHarmony posted my article 5 Reasons She Won’t Call You Back on their site and sent it out to 5 million people on their eHarmony Advice newsletter. The last I looked, there were 76 comments so feel free to chime in. Needless to say, I’ve been busy working on irresistible profiles throughout the weekend for those looking for love online or at least a date before Valentine’s.

Valentine’s is around the corner, and I’ve gone on record as saying, “Valentine’s to a woman is like the Super Bowl to men.” With that in mind, we’ll be posting several articles to help you leading up to Valentine’s Day, regardless of your love stage. For now, take a look at my recent post, Valentine’s Etiquette: Dos and Don’ts for Your Valentine.

Stay tuned for my Valentine’s special offer for Irresistible Profiles for a limited time on February 1st – 6th.  I’ll also be posting some special free offers from some of the online dating sites next week which are worth signing up for which will appear in the Weekly Flirt.

Holiday Dating Advice on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show

Just in time for the holidays! Join Cyberdating Expert Julie Spira along with DeAnna Lorraine for a very special edition of Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show.

You’ll hear our best dating and relationship advice with tips for singles looking for love online during the holidays.

According to an article in the New York Post, singles would rather find a date as their number one choice during the holidays over a gift. From holiday gift giving, to last minute online dating profile tips, it’s time to ask us anything!

Call in at 646-929-0012 at 2pm/ET, 12 noon/PT or join in on the live interactive chat room at BlogTalkRadio.com/CyberDatingExpert and learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.

Listen to internet radio with Cyberdating Expert on Blog Talk Radio

Dr. Carole Lieberman on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Show

If you think that riding into the sunset with the man of your dreams is more than just a dream, this week’s radio show on relationships is for you.

Join Julie Spira on Saturday, November 13, 2010 as she welcomes Internationally reknowned Media Psychiatrist and bestselling author, Dr. Carole Lieberman to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show.

Dr. Carole Lieberman is the author of Bad Boys: Why We Love Them, How to Live with Them, and When to Leave Them and we’ll be talking about her latest release,  Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets. Listen to find out how you can even the playing field and say goodbye to losing your guy to the bad girl.

Call in at 2pm/ET, 11am/PT at 646-929-0012 or join our live interactive chat room at BlogTalkRadio.com/CyberDatingExpert to learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.

Listen to internet radio with Cyberdating Expert on Blog Talk Radio

Tasha Cunningham – DDHG on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Show

Listen to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show where Julie Spira spoke with Tasha Cunningham, founder of DontDateHimGirl.com and author DontDateHimGirl.com Presents – So the Bastard Broke Your Heart, Now What?

Tasha’s dating advice book was inspired by her frustration of reading books on how women need to change to find a man and realized that the women needed to change to become more confident for themselves.

Tasha recommends you create the Don’t Date Him Girl list, where you identify 5 things about the past 5 relationships to see what your dating patterns and what you didn’t like about each of these relationships.

We talked about online dating safety and how to protect your Internet identity by doing your homework and research before getting too emotionally involved.

Learn about the ten-step guide to help you get your “brokenhearted butt” in gear and break your addiction to bad boyfriends while looking for love online.

Where’s Julie – The Love Panel in Beverly Hills

It was hard to say no to Renee Piane, when she invited me to participate on her Love Panel at her Fall Matchmaking Singles Party in Beverly Hills. I had already made plans to go to the United Friends of the Children’s charity event, Cultivate L.A., which was held on the same evening in Brentwood, but when there’s love involved, I’m usually around. I decided to attend both events on Saturday, October 2nd.

The Love Panel, held at Aqua Nightclub in Beverly Hills also featured my friend and matchmaker Julie Ferman from Cupid’s Coach, Dr. Cindy Brown, author of The Cinderella System, and one man only, producer Lamont K. Roberts.

Filled with dating and relationship advice, singles wanted to know what to do when a man asks for your phone number, but doesn’t call. Rather than waiting by the phone for him, he usually isn’t interested or he’d be calling within the typical 3-day period. On the other hand, the men wanted to know what to do when the women didn’t return their calls. Simply put, sometimes we’re busy or out of town, so guys, give it a second try.

Other topics of discussion included how to date someone in transition, a subject that ‘s near and dear to my heart. Renee’s husband Joe took the microphone and told the story about how he had been married twice before and wasn’t 100% percent available when he met Renee. He added, he fell in love with her heart. They are truly very happily married, so don’t give up on the newly divorced single. Chances are, they’ll probably want to get married again.

All the women in the audience unanimously agreed that they like a man with a plan. A woman is more likely to accept a date when the man suggests attending a particular event, dinner at a restaurant, or says he has concert tickets for Sunday and would like you to join him.

My final suggestion to singles looking for love online was to cast a very wide net. Look at each person as the opportunity to meet a new friend, a business associate, and if you’re lucky, perhaps you’ll fall in love in the process.

The bottom line, everyone agreed that a man is willing to wait for sex with the right woman, so ladies, don’t give it up too easily, but flirt with him and let him know you may be interested in time. After the Love Panel, singles engaged in Renee’s Rapid Dating icebreaker where they had the opportunity to spend a few minutes getting to know each other in a speed-dating type style.

Thank you Renee for including me in this wonderful event and for the passion that you have in bringing singles together for love and networking.

Julie Spira is a dating expert and a worldwide authority on online dating. She is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com

Dating Advice – Why Women Should Initiate Contact Online and Offline

With today’s modern technology becoming a major part of our daily routine,  it’s time to toss out the old rules book, or you might end up alone on another Saturday evening.

In my video, I discuss my dating advice and cyberdating tips to change your fairly empty InBox to one that becomes overflowing.

You may be thinking, shouldn’t the man always make the first move? You may be saying, I’m an old-fashioned girl and I’d never ask a man out. I say, rethink things if your dream date doesn’t automatically find you.

This includes doing your own search and sending a short complimentary email to a potential date on your favorite online dating site. Often, the man will feel flattered to hear from you. At times, he can be overwhelmed with the many choices and you might have gotten overlooked. Look at this initial email as a simple nudge or a smile so you will appear on his radar, or in reality, in his InBox.

Men get frustrated so easily after writing to many women without receiving a response. You might make his day, and if so, a date may be added to your calendar and you might find yourself in a nice new relationship.

Think of it like creating hints for your wish list for the outfits you might want as a birthday gift. Go ahead and wink or flirt, but if you really want to get his attention, flattery will boost his ego with a personalized email. He may be pushing the reply button in a New York minute.

For more personalized help with your online dating profile, sign up for IRRESISTIBLE Coaching.

5 Ways for Singles to Get Ready to Mingle

My friend and relationship expert Lisa Steadman is celebrating all month long. The best-selling author has created a 30-day challenge to help singles find love during the month of June. As part of this month-long celebration, I have offered my dating advice on How to be Single and Ready to Mingle.

If you’re newly single and you’re waiting for your friends to fix you up,  before the phone starts to ring with potential dates excited about meeting you, you need to get in shape. Just like exercising before the summer to lose weight and fit into that bikini, you need to get ready to go out there and shine like the star that you are.

Here are some of my favorite pre-dating tips on how to get ready for your hot date.

1. Leave the Baggage Behind. If you are still pining away for your ex, have a conversation with yourself about why you are no longer together. Better yet, take a piece of paper and write down some of the negative traits to remind you it’s time to move on. Was he controlling? Did he have a roving eye? A bit too jealous? You need to dismantle him from the pedestal he was on and get ready for a new and exciting beginning. No guy is going to want to hear about the one who broke your heart. I have a saying, “Every Relationship Serves a Purpose, But is Limited.” Stand in front of the mirror and repeat it. It truly works.

2. Dress the Part. How you dress tells a story. Men love to unwrap the package, so don’t reveal too much. A man will undress you with his eyes, even on your first date. It doesn’t mean he’s ready to jump into bed with you. Be subtle, and it’s still sexy. It’s just not an instant invitation to the bedroom.

3. Embrace Your Girlfriend Network. Let everyone you know you would like to be fixed up. Mention it at the nail salon and hairdresser. Have a conversation at the post office with someone you might recognize. Find a supportive network of women who are single and can understand what it’s like to be in between relationships. Create a “Girls Night Out” which could include a movie with pre or post film cocktails. Dress flirty and smile. Let the men wonder, “Who’s that Girl?”

4. Practice the Art of Flirting. Smile at men at the grocery store. Introduce yourself to the cute guy on the airplane. Compliment a man on his stylish tie at a business mixer. Even if you aren’t meeting the one, perhaps he has a friend he can introduce you to.

5. Cast a Wide Net. Join an online dating site. Accept every invitation that you can for both business and social events. Realize that the handsome chap you are having a conversation with may not ask you out on a date, but he could invite you and your girlfriends to a fun summer party. You may not click on a date, but what if he becomes your next big client? A date isn’t always about meeting “the one.”

Exercise your heart with these tune-up tips and you’ll be ready to mingle with a smile on your face and be open to all of the possibilities this summer and beyond.

For more dating advice visit Lisa’s 30-day Get Out There Challenge with new tips daily for the month of June.

Julie Spira is known worldwide as The Cyber-Dating Expert. She is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com

Dating Advice – Long Distance Romance and the Big Ultimatum

Dear Julie,

I’ve met a man online that I’m absolutely crazy about. He’s tall, sexy, worldly, and I knew instantly there was a connection. The problem is, he lives in another country. I know I should try to meet someone closer to home, but every month one of us flies to visit the other. I call him my boyfriend.

I am recently divorced and he’s never been married. He says he dates other women due to the distance. Yet, I hear from him every day via text messaging, emails, and phone calls and we plan wonderful trips together. I count the days until I see him.

I feel like I am being kept on hold just waiting for him to tell me that I’m the one and that he wants me to move in with him. It’s been a year already. What can I do to get him to commit to me exclusively? I am not interested in dating anyone else.

Please help.

Lauren

Dear Lauren,

You are in a classic vacation romance relationship. It can be so exciting, especially when there’s a passport involved. However, you are wasting your precious youth as you wait for him to decide if you’re the one.  Have you counted the amount of nights you end up alone for significant holidays or for special events?  You also indicated that you are recently divorced, so this may be a transition relationship, which is not a bad idea.

However, for you to call a man who lives thousands of miles away your boyfriend when you know he is dating others, isn’t realistic. You also can’t force a man to decide to be exclusive. He is sending you all of the messages that this a relationship of convenience and fun. If he isn’t talking monogamy, future, and marriage, he is just plain not interested. My best advice is to put your online dating profile back up on one or two sites and start casually dating. Men hate the big ultimatum and there’s no reason for you to put your life on hold.

It’s time to move the fantasy of your relationship over and let an available men enter your life. You don’t have to break up or stop communicating, but it’s an international friends with benefits relationship you’ve got going.

Good luck with your search.

Julie Spira

Do you have a relationship question for Julie Spira or need dating advice? Contact us at CyberDatingExpert.com/contact

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show with Cosmopolitan

Mark your calendar for Saturday, April 10, 2010 at 2pm/ET as we welcome Ky Henderson, an editor at Cosmopolitan magazine to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show.

Ky answers questions about sex and relationships in his popular Ask Him Anything column. Now is your chance to speak directly to an editor at Cosmo and find out what makes a woman desirable to a man and what attracts a man to a particular type of online dating profile. You’ll hear more about Guys Uncensored: What’s Overrated vs. What’s Underrated and get the male point of view to be fully ready for your next cyberdate.

Call in at 646-929-0012 or join our live chat room during the broadcast at BlogTalkRadio.com/CyberDatingExpert where you can learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.

Listen to Cyber-dating Expert on Blog Talk Radio

Ask the Cyber Dating Expert – Advice for the Newly Divorced

I recently met a young woman whose divorce papers were final last week. She needed some dating advice as to how to start over post-divorce. With the new year, she should be celebrating and getting ready for a new beginning. At 27, she is considering online dating for the very first time. She would like to get married and have children, but thought the stigma of saying she was divorced in her 20s would scare the men away.

She asked, “Is it too soon to start dating again?” “Will someone want to have a relationship with a divorced woman in her 20s.” “Should I say I’m single on my profile as my marriage was brief?”

“Where do I begin?”

Newly Single – Los Angeles

Dear Newly Single,

It’s natural to feel insecure when the dream of your perfect marriage was shattered.

What are you waiting for?  It’s time to hop back on that cyber-dating saddle. With the divorce rates above 50% in the state of California, you are in the majority.You need to be authentic in your online dating profile and say you are divorced and post some terrific photos.  It’s a new year and time for a new beginning. Since you want to have a family, I suggest you state in your profile that you want to get married and have children. Don’t worry about scaring away men who aren’t interested in marriage. They will be doing you a favor by not responding to you.

Good luck with your search.

Julie Spira

If you have a dating question for Julie Spira, please send them to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact

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