You may have heard the stories of the “Debbie Downer” on a date. She’s the girl that talks about all of her problems and turns guys away faster than the speed of lightning. This week, you’ll meet her counterpart, the “Donny Downer.” Our online dating story this week is about the tale of the gentleman who came completely unprepared for his date. He didn’t rehearse his conversation on the long drive to lunch.

When they sat down at the restaurant, he first complained about the calorie count of the entrees. She smiled and changed the subject. Then he complained about his bad back and asked her if she had any back problems. He went on to talk about his father’s dementia and his mother’s hospital stay. She didn’t believe in bringing her medical history to the table.

The conversation then switched to the financial and gambling problems his adult son had. She wondered why he thought she needed to know. In between the appetizer and entree, he managed to talk about his two ex-wives.

Finally, he asked her what she thought of Obama as the President of the United States and talked about how awful he was in doing his job as the leader of our country. She preferred not to talk about politics.

Here’s my dating advice for this situation.  Please leave the baggage behind. Conversations about the ex, financial, and health problems shouldn’t be on the top of your list on a first date. Keep your first date positive, upbeat and light.  He was a classic “Donny Downer.” Although he might have been a nice guy, he wasn’t about to get to a second date.

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Imagine that you’re a busy executive looking for love online and you finally connect with a sexy lady whom you share many things in common such as riding motorcycles. This new date was indeed a true biker enthusiast, since right at the beginning she kept on repeating, “You know, there is nothing like a Harley.”

This was great for the guy who was the proud owner of a nice Harley Davidson VRod, one of the most classic and muscular models on the road. The Harley guy and his date were an item for two months. Things were going well–after all–she wanted a “sensitive, intelligent man but with a bit of bad boy…” and his Harley really turned her on.

One day the Harley owner decided to trade in his reliable, bike for a brand new Honda Goldwing, a high performing touring motorcycle. He didn’t ask for her permission or opinion. He pulled up proudly at his date’s doorstep to take her to a party. “When I arrived she looked at me like I had two heads” said the executive.

At the party the couple met a few other motorcycle enthusiasts and when the conversation turned to bikes, his date kept repeating, “There’s nothing like a Harley. There’s nothing like a Harley.” The executive got the message that his lady didn’t like the new Honda because the next day she was uncommunicative and stayed in bed all morning, despite his attempts to talk to her. Later when the new Honda Goldwing owner emailed her suggesting that maybe she needed a Harley guy, she eagerly agreed. The gentleman-biker was immediately dumped because he traded his Harley for a Honda!

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One day I went on a date with a handsome attorney who took me to lunch at a local pizza parlor. While ordering the gourmet pizza of his choice, he requested that his pie be cooked very well-done. He explained that he didn’t like a soggy crust.

When his dish arrived, he ate a small piece. He frowned and announced that he didn’t like his pizza. He claimed it wasn’t cooked enough for his taste. The date called the waiter over to complain. The waiter assured him that he gave the correct instructions to the chef, but would be happy to have another pizza made.

When the second pizza arrived, the gentleman was pleased. He was no longer being subjected to eating a soggy pizza. He was now a happy diner. However,the waiter and the chef were not smiling.

As a courtesy, the waiter offered to take the price of the pizza off of the bill. This was above and beyond what was necessary. After all, the date did enjoy his meal. Why should it be free?  At the end of lunch, the date requested a “to go” box to take the few remaining pieces of his pizza crust home in a doggy bag. He also requested to take the remains of my salad as well. He didn’t seem embarrassed at all to have asked.

Women just don’t find the practical side appealing on a first date.

Excerpt from the Internet dating book,  The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online by Julie Spira.

Peril of the Week - The 2nd Date Shuffle

One of the best parts about joining an online dating site is the huge dating pool that is created when you post your online dating profile. However, the downside can result when you get shuffled around like this handsome gentleman did.

After a very successful first date,  two singles decided to put a second date on their calendar. There was chemistry. It was comfortable. Both seemed to want to move on to a second date.

However, when it got closer to actual day of the date, the woman called and asked if she could reschedule. She claimed she had a conflict in her calendar. The gentleman was happy to accommodate her request and they moved the date to the following week. When she asked to reschedule again for a second time, he was a bit suspicious but agreed to a revised date.

You can imagine how surprised he was when he went to the local deli to pick up a sandwich, only to find that he was replaced by another man she met while cyberdating. She seemed a bit embarrassed, as she should have been. He got shuffled around one too many times and suffered from a case of the “Second Date Shuffle” phenomenon. The interesting part of the story, is that this happened to him once before.

One has to wonder, how many men she was juggling. The man left in frustration and wondered, who will be the next man on her date card.Was it a dating disaster? I guess not as it seemed impossible to get to the second date. Perhaps he should take up shuffleboard lessons and perfect this sport or just shuffle off to Buffalo.

The Peril of the Week was contributed by David Kessler. For inclusion in the Peril of the Week, send your submissions to CyberDatingExpert.com

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And now, for a  little post-Halloween humor. A gentleman took the risk and went out with a woman whose online dating profile name included the word “witch.” Out of curiosity he contacted her and they set up their first date as she had an attractive profile photo. Now, we know that men are visual and the right photo will sell them in a heartbeat.

In this case, there was some truth in advertising. On their cyberdate, she described her amazing in-home lab which was complete with ancient glass filled with bubbly brew. She told her date about how she concocted home-made creations. She claimed her witches brew were in fact homeopathic medicines. The gentleman on the date had a spooky feeling during their conversation, and had a hunch there was more witchcraft to the story than met the eye.

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I recently heard the story from a man who treated his cyber-date to a lovely evening of fine wining and dining. He thought the evening was going well, but he couldn’t help but notice that his date was taking notes on the napkin during the entire evening.

Finally, she slid the note over to him, face down. He wondered if it was a “love note” or if she was writing some poetry to express her desire for him.

When he turned the paper napkin over, the man was stunned. It was a break up note that said, “I can’t date you anymore. There is another man that I must find out about that I met a week ago. If there isn’t anything there, or if he doesn’t like me, then maybe we can get back together.”  

He wasn’t interesting in being the sloppy second and went home laughing about the experience.

Ah, those who think the grass is greener may come up empty handed. Time will tell. But it is she who won’t get the second chance.

The Peril of the Week was contributed by VIP Social Events. For consideration for The Peril of the Week, please send your submissions to info@CyberDatingExpert.com

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I met a lovely young lady who accepted a third date from a man she met in an online dating site. Now, some may think there is a lot of pressure when it’s time for date #3. More often than not, cyber-daters don’t make it past the first date. So one would think it’s time to be on your best behavior.

They went to a local bar for drinks and as her date was walking to the men’s room, he inadvertently pushed a guy who had too much to drink. Rather than apologize and move on, the tipsy man got angry and provoked a fight with her Internet date. So the moment came where her date had to make that big decision, move on or join in.

Unfortunately, he chose to swing back at the drunken man, and knocked him down. This resulted in a true bar brawl and the bouncer had to kick both of them out of the establishment. Her date had a cut on his eye and drove home in his own car. Fortunately for the lovely young woman, she drove to the date alone and made it home safely.

One has to wonder who was he trying to impress? Now he has been banned from his favorite watering hole and lost the girl.

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They say you dream of a man who will find the key to your heart. As a hopeful romantic, I like this optimistic way of thinking.

But in this true-life police story, a man actually went on a date with a woman, and when it was time to pay for the meal, he told her he left his wallet in her car. Now, I don’t recommend going in the same car with someone on a first date. It’s just not a safe thing to do.

When asked for her keys to retrieve the wallet, not only did he stiff her for the meal, he took off and actually stole her car as well. The incident was reported to the police and the 23-year old Michigan man was charged with a five year felony.

In a previous Peril of the Week – Where’s my Car? a woman also lost her car on her first date. In that story, it wasn’t a police crime. 

The moral of the story, drive alone and hang on to your keys!

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An attractive woman went for dinner with her cyber-date to a trendy restaurant. They met on her favorite online dating site. As they were escorted to their table, the gentleman complained to her that something smelled like fish. She replied with a witty comment and said, “You don’t want to say that to a lady.” He replied with, “Well, it happened when you showed up.”

She stayed for drinks to be polite, but they never made it to dinner.

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One of the challenges of online dating is moving from an online relationship to an offline relationship. Although it is easier staying glued to your computer, in order to be successful, you need to meet face-to-face at a mutually convenient time and place.

They say when a man tells you how he really feels, you should believe it! When a man says he doesn’t want to get married, well he just doesn’t want to get married. So when a friend of mine accepted a cyber-date from a man and he called to say he was a bit on the tired side and requested that they reschedule the date, she should have listened. However, she didn’t want to get replaced by another online prospect in the competitive dating pool and convinced him they should still meet for their casual dinner.

After the entree was brought to the table, she heard a loud noise. No, it wasn’t the table crashing, and the waiter didn’t drop a full tray of plates. The noise she actually heard was from her cyber-date who actually meant what he said, and was sitting across from her snoring loudly. I guess he forgot to take a nap that day before their online date. Sometimes what a man says and what he means are actually true.

For consideration for The Peril of the Week, please send your submissions to info@CyberDatingExpert.com.