On Take Part Live on PointTV, we tackled the subject of digital dating and how texting and social media have affected our love lives.
It was a honor and joy to be a featured guest on the program with hosts Jacob Soboroff and Cara Santa Maria.
I was joined with Comedienne and Glamour blogger Phoebe Robinson, who appeared earlier on Raising McCain with Meghan McCain, and Jessica Sorbino.
One of the main questions that came up is should you change your Facebook relationship status? The opinions from the panel differed. Phoebe met her boyfriend on Facebook and checked out his profile before agreeing to going on a date. I said that everyone who is single should list their relationship status as Facebook could be the world’s largest dating site, and Jessica believes you shouldn’t list a relationship status at all, so forget about “It’s Complicated.”
How long should you wait to respond to his or her text message? Are we becoming Internet dating addicts? Watch the show segment for details.
You can read more in this article on Digital Technology and Romantic Relationships.
As an early adopter of Internet dating and as an Online Dating Expert with almost 20 years of writing dating profiles, I’ve helped many Jewish singles find love on JDate. Some fond memories include one couple who gave birth to the first JDate baby, and another who found love by expanding their zip code to include dating in Europe. Many couples who I’ve coached have taken my online dating advice are now happily married or are in long-term exclusive relationships.
I know that cyber dating can be challenging, but there are so many Internet dating success stories that are worth sharing and I look forward to watching all of your marriage proposal videos.
If you’ve met your fiance or spouse on JDate, I invite you to share a video on their Facebook page about your marriage proposal and enter their Top Proposal Contest.
One lucky couple will be treated to on a 7-Day romantic trip to Breezes in the Bahamas. Isn’t it time for a second honeymoon?
Details can be found on their Facebook Page.
Need help with your online dating profile? Visit IrresistibleProfiles.com to learn more on how we can help you find your dream date.
Photo credit: JDate
It’s time to put on my DJ hat again. Since today is Bruce Springsteen’s birthday, we’re featuring a romantic love song, “I’ll Work For Your Love” as our Cyber Love Song of the Week.
This song is so romantic, that it was once requested to be played in concert so a guy could propose marriage to his girlfriend.
Listen to the melody and lyrics of this song and let us know if it makes you swoon.
Do you have a favorite Cyber Love Song?
Listen to our other featured Cyber Love Songs of the Week.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
From checking out his or her Facebook profile, to following your digital crush on Twitter, the conversation is expanding.
So how do social media and love connect online to help you with your love life offline?
Both Jeff Pulver, the 140 Conference creator and my friend Debra Eckerling from Write on Online will be hosting the #140LA13 Mini-Conference: “The Rise of Listening in the Era of Social Media” on Monday, September 23, 2013 from 6:30pm – 9:30pm at Cross Campus at 820 Broadway in Santa Monica, CA.
I’ll be joined on our panel, Romance, Speaking and Hearing from the Heart with Kerianne Mellot, eHarmony’s Social Media Manager and Marni Battista, founder of Dating With Dignity. Together, the three of us will be answering your questions on how we engage with singles using social media and what social media channels we’re finding the most effective.
We’ll address emotional issues such as how much should we reveal on social media about our personal lives, how do we handle those whose hearts are healing and encourage others to be positive during an emotional time.
We do hope you join us at this very special event.
Other sessions in the 140LA 13 mini conference include:
Hosts: Jeff Pulver and Debra Eckerling
- Love, Passion & Chocolate, Ashley Walsh
- Romance, Speaking & Hearing from the Heart, Kerianne Mellott, Julie Spira, Marni Battista
- Engaging Your Community, David Bloom speaking with Catherine Geanuracos about Eric Garcetti’s social campaign strategy
- Transforming Entertainment through Social Media, Steven Swimmer, Jon Cody, Peter Hyoguchi, Mike Rotman
- Paying it Forward, Brian Mac Mahon
The #140conf events provide a platform for individuals and entrepreneurs to listen, connect, share, and engage with each other, while collectively exploring the effects of the emerging real-time internet on business.
Limited tickets can be purchased for $15 at 140confla13-estw.eventbrite.com
In this Episode of the Online Dating Expert BootCamp, Julie Spira critiques Lauren’s emails that she’s sending to potential daters.
Much to her surprise, Lauren’s emails were filled with grammar problems and she started her emails with the word, “Hey.” Julie reminded Lauren that horses hang out in hay, not a marriage-minded single woman from Beverly Hills.
Remember to always use spell check and grammar check on all of your online dating emails and respond in a timely fashion to attract your dream date.
Let’s start with what is a ‘Selfie?’ It’s one of the most popular hashtags on Twitter when someone snaps their own photo with their mobile phone. Usually it’s goofy, a bathroom shot in the mirror, or in the case of Rhianna, a bikini shot or two.
I love technology and there’s no doubt that the iPhone has made cyberdating a whole lot easier and so much more fun.
As the cameras continue to improve on the Samsung Galaxy, iPhones, and other mobile devices, while Instagram remains the favorite social networking photo site du jour, the prevalence of ‘Selfies’ photos are appearing more often on Internet dating profiles.
So who’s posting ‘Selfies’ and are they narcissistic, funny, expected, or a turn-off? Just because celebrities are jumping on the ‘Selfie’ bandwagon, should you?
In a recent Glamour magazine article, a list of 11 turn-offs to men who viewed women’s online dating profiles listed ‘Selfies” twice.
Men felt that posting over ¾ of your profile photos as ‘Selfies’ was a turn-off.
“Just makes me wonder how long you spent in your room taking shots that didn’t make the cut,” one guy claimed.
In addition, the bathroom ‘Selfie’ is an online dating no-no.
“Unless it’s done ironically, in which case, are you free on Thursday?” was another response.
Taking it a step further, research from the University of Birmingham in the UK found that too many ‘Selfies’ posted on Facebook could actually damage your relationship.
David Houghton, the lead researcher said, “‘Selfies,’ or self-portraits, seem to be some of the most irksome images.”
In a recent interview with the New York Daily News, I provided several tips for those who have no self-control when posting ‘Selfies.’ Including:
Ladies: No Bikini Photos. Just because Rhianna does it, doesn’t mean your potential online date will appreciate yours. A bikini shot is just lingerie with different material. A man will undress you with his eyes. There’s no need to say take me to the bedroom with your bikini ‘Selfie.’\
Guys: Ditch the Mirror Photos. Posting a photo of yourself without wearing a shirt in the bathroom mirror has become as cliché as the woman who says she wants to go on beach walks in her Internet dating profile.
While authenticity is appreciated in posting recent photos, we know that the selfies shots aren’t usually your best. I say save them for Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Put your best digital foot forward and post the best photos you can of yourself. Add the dates they were taken, so your online date will know how recent they are.
Are you posting ‘Selfies’ on your dating profile? What has the response been?
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter to join in the conversation.
Photo credit: © berc – Fotolia.com
On WashPost Live, Online Dating Expert Julie Spira and Dr. Eli Finkel from Northwestern University talk with Nia-Malika Henderson about online dating algorithms and the latest trends in mobile dating. Has online dating become a social dating experience? Why is Tinder the hottest new mobile dating app? Is cyber dating here to stay?
All these questions and more were discussed on the latest in Internet dating on Washington Post’s Live Channel, On Background.
I met my boyfriend on Plenty of Fish and we’ve been dating for about six months. We took your advice and both took our profiles down together as a bit of a ceremony and celebration after two months of dating and have even been talking about the future.
Last week, my friend saw a new POF profile that he posted with a different name, as he viewed hers while he was searching.
My heart is broken. I confronted him on it and he said it was an old profile, one he had before he met me, but deep down I think he always had two profiles up and that I’ve been played.
I’m not sure if I can trust him or not or if I’m overreacting. Please help.
Disappointed in Baton Rouge
I can feel your pain and what you’re going through is not uncommon. As a matter of fact, I hear this all the time.
Often when a man gets too close to a woman, especially around the 6-month mark, he starts to panic. Men are very basic. The thought of never sleeping with another woman again feels like death to him. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, or that you aren’t the best thing that’s ever happened to him in the whole wide world.
The Internet makes it so easy for people to take a peek to see who else is out there, especially if he’s thinking about a more permanent relationship with you. In the bestselling book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus , author John Gray talks about the rubber-band man. The guy who gets really close to you and then has to retreat and disappear when he needs time for the tension in the rubber band to build up again. Sometimes he goes into his cave and doesn’t want to be with you. Other times, he pulls back because he isn’t sure of his feelings about love and commitment. Either way, don’t chase after him and ask what’s wrong.
Before you think he’s breaking your heart, give it a little time. A pull back and new Internet dating profile are both something to be concerned with, but don’t overreact just yet. Accusing him of messing around on you isn’t the answer. If he wants to be with you, let him know you’d appreciate him taking down the second profile, but don’t insist on it. It’s up to him to decide if he wants to continue fishing and run the risk of losing a lifetime of love with you.
Now is not the time to get even and put up your profile and start dating until you’ve resolved this issue together. If he truly wants to date others, wish him well and do so as well.
There are over 1500 dating sites on the Internet, so if you decide it’s time to move on find a different site to hang your digital hat so you don’t find yourself staring at his profile and obsessing whether he’s found someone else or not.
Looking at other women online is very hurtful, I know. It’s emotional cheating, even if he isn’t setting up other dates. But it also gives him the time to look at some photos and decide if you’re the one he wants to move forward with. Think of it as if he’s looking at photos in a magazine. I know it’s worse, but remember, your friend saw his profile online, she didn’t catch him in bed with another woman.
Please keep us posted.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Do you have a dating question for Cyber Dating Expert Julie Spira?
From creating Irresistible Profiles, to listening to your date updates in 15 Magic Minutes, and with our exciting promotion with ProFlowers, where five lucky winners will be receiving stunning roses to send to someone they’ve got a crush on, or to keep for themselves.
The five winners of the Romance and Roses Contest are:
Alex Shapiro – @AlexShapiroPR
Kerianne Mellott – @keri_mellott
Cija Black – @modernloveguide
Each winner will receive one of three choices in a romantic rose bouquet from ProFlowers.com. Even if you didn’t win the free roses, during National Romance Awareness Month, you can save up to 50% off a large variety of flowers and roses. Visit ProFlowers.com/Romance to find the perfect floral bouquet for you.
Still need a little more romance in your life? Now through the end of the month, we’ll be giving 10 winners a day 15 Magic Minutes for FREE! That’s right. We know that you could be frustrated with dating, or that your profile could use a second set of eyes.
You can enter by following @JulieSpira and tweeting @JulieSpira I’d like to win 15 Magic Minutes. #romancemonth.
Increase your chances of winning by posting to our Facebook page and let us know why you want to win 15 Magic Minutes.
Enter here for your chance to speak with Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira via phone or Skype for free with your dating questions during National Romance Awareness Month.
From August 19-31, 20 lucky singles will have the chance to win the Cyber-Dating Expert 15 Magic Minutes service completely free.
That’s right! Do you have a burning question about your love life, did you have a bad date last night? Confused about his or her text messages? Have a bit of a bump on the road in your relationship? All these questions and more will be answered by Julie Spira, the country’s top online dating expert and digital matchmaker.
Enter here for your chance to speak to Julie via phone or Skype. This offer is valid in the United States and Canada for singles and couples 21+.