Cyber Love Story of the Week – Dabney and Vic
After 15 years of marriage, Dabney was ready to start dating again. She created a profile on Match.com and went on just five lunch dates.
When she first spoke to Vic, the two had instant phone chemistry. Vic had his list of questions that he asked all prospective dates. Dabney passed the test with flying colors.
When the two finally met in person, they were both delighted that the phone chemistry matched their feelings in-real-life. Vic went to hold Dabney’s hand and she pulled back in surprise. Vic asked Dabney, “Did you feel that?” Dabney tells us, “It was electric.”
Dabney and Vic were fortunate to have felt a spiritual and soulful connection on their first date. Five years later, during a vacation in the Florida Keys, Vic proposed to Dabney. Dabney, of course said “Yes!”
Congratulations to Dabney and Vic, who prove that you can have a second chance at love while looking for love online.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Julie Spira is an online dating, netiquette and cyber-relations expert. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice and where you can sign up for the Weekly Flirt. Like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
Is Creating an Excel Spreadsheet for Dating Creepy or Smart?
The financial guy whose online dating excel spreadsheet was spread all of the Internet was big news this week. Dealbreaker broke the story and he became the laughing stock in the dating world.
As an online dating expert, I’m here to defend him. I believe that online dating is a numbers game. In fact, when I coach singles on finding love online, I create a Microsoft excel spreadsheet for them to be organized, and I’ve been doing this for over 15 years. I’ve also written about the use of excel spreadsheets in my bestselling book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, which was released in 2009.
Sure, financial guy’s comments shouldn’t have been shared with his date. Even though she was number one on the list, remember anything that you send via email can be, and assume will be shared. Whether he likes his women hot or young is not the issue.
Looking for love online, if you’re truly serious about it can be compared to looking for a job. A well-organized job seeker will be more successful in finding his dream job. So will a well-organized dater.
So to those of you who have commented that this guy was creepy, I have to disagree. He appears to be a smart and busy businessman. Busy executive and CEOs don’t have a lot of free time to date, but they certainly spend a lot of time on their computers and mobile phones.
The only dating advice I can offer is to not should share your private information about your other dates with someone you’re dating. I’m sure financial guy learned his lesson well. Sometimes men and women are on a need-to-know basis. His date didn’t need to know about the other women he was pursuing.
Would you create a spreadsheet to organize your dates?
Your comments are welcome.
Julie Spira is an online dating and netiquette expert. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
Online Dating in a Klout World – Tawkify Speaks Out
Most singles who I coach on finding love online aren’t aware of Klout, social media reputation, or the marriage of social media and technology.
Perhaps they see their percentages of a Match on OkCupid with their Quiver matches, where a 90+ match is worth responding to.
Often they’re matched up on Chemistry.com with their Builder/Negotiator, Explorer/Director, created by biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher.
Most singles just want to find love, with any algorithm they can find.
So what happens when you marry a new dating site, Tawkify, created by Cyber-Dating Expert’s friend and Elle columnist E. Jean Carroll, with social influence site Klout? Talkify is the first dating site to partner with Klout to use the Klout scores as a measurement of allure and as a prediction of falling in love. Curious to hear more?
E. Jean tells Klout, “In a series of blind experiments (the thirty couples we matched were not told we were using their Klout Scores), we’ve found that Klout Scores will predict the brilliance or dullness of match—-and how quickly people will click.”
I have to admit, I do check my Klout score daily and it’s been steady at 61 for a while, where I’m labeled a “Broadcaster.” I now qualify for Tawkify’s “Red Carpet Vip Service.” Does that mean I need to meet someone else who is social media savvy with a 60+ score? Not really as the best relationships I’ve been in are with men who don’t tweet. I’m excited to see how the two will work together and would be curious to see if a Klout personality type of “Broadcaster” will match nicely with a “Thought Leader” or “Celebrity” with an “Observer,” or even “Pundit” with a “Specialist.”
So how does Tawkify work? You fill out a profile, answer ten questions and on Monday night your phone rings with a match. I’m hoping if there’s no match, that they won’t deduct the credit from your account. Prices range from $8 for one match to $1499 for the miracle worker.(with a special New York Times offer of $250.
Another brand that I admire who has partnered with Klout is fashion site Gilt, where you get discounts based upon your Klout score. We’ll be excited to share a Klout love story any day in our Cyber Love Story of the Week.
At the end of the digital day, online dating has finally moved to what I call social dating, and it’s here to stay.
Question: Would you value your date’s Klout score? Would you take a digital peek before deciding to go on a date?
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and social media strategist. She’s the CEO and Editor-in-Chief at CyberDatingExpert.com. As an early adopter of online dating, Julie created her first profile in 1994. Today, she writes irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and is an expert in mobile dating. For more dating advice, Like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Online Dating Tips for Spring Fever
Whether your relationship recently ended, are newly divorced, or have taken a break from dating, we’re here to help you with your digital search. These lucky seven tips will speed the process so you won’t be wasting your time with Mr. or Ms. Wrong this spring.
1. Be open to all of the possibilities. With the change of seasons comes a new attitude, both online and offline. Outdoor cafes are filled with patrons again. Convertible tops are down, and it’s time to tune up your flirting techniques and jump back on the online dating saddle.
2. Dress it up. Appearance counts online and offline. After all, isn’t it your goal to turn that online romance into an offline relationship? Spend an afternoon spring-cleaning session in your very own closet. Recycle a dress or outfit in your closet and make it your first date outfit.
3. Sensual Scent. Try a fresh new perfume or cologne to wear on your first online date. Hopefully your date won’t be allergic and will find your new scent appealing enough to put a second date on the calendar.
4. Going Mobile! Why wait to go home to meet your dream date? Download a mobile dating app and respond to your date’s email while it’s still fresh in your inbox. Here’s the Mobile Dating Expert’s list with some of our favorites.
5. Turn on your webcam. Many online dating sites now offer webcam or video chat as part of their features. Go ahead and put on your lipstick and comb your hair. Remember to smile. It’s show time. By using video chat, your potential honey will know it’s the real you and not your younger sister. This will prevent that disappointing look one receives when the photos of their online dates don’t match up in real life.
6. Renew and Refresh. If you’ve let your online dating account expire, go ahead and renew your membership. Refresh your profile with new photos and a new catchy screen name. Need a little help? Check out IRRESISTIBLE profiles, and we’ll help you in your quest to find love online.
7. It’s a numbers game. We know that online dating can be a lot of work and is time consuming. So is finding your dream job and working out at the gym. Allocate an hour a day every day to your online dating site. Respond to, or write to at least 5 online profiles every day for one week and see what happens. Check out who’s viewed your profile or added you to their favorites or hot lists and send them an email. Initiate the conversation and you may find someone who will be so flattered to hear from you.
If you are lucky in love and meet the one online, let us know. We may feature you in the Cyber Love Story of the Week.
~The Cyber-Dating Expert Team.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and Editor-in-Chief at CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Cyber Love Links
It’s a beautiful spring weekend and time to share some of our favorite stories about dating, love and romance from around the web and on Twitter with you.
First of all, we’d like to thank Ithaca College for the terrific article in their IC View magazine that is sent out to all alumni. The story, Finding Love Online featured my dating advice and tips for singles on the dating scene. Many thanks to our friends at Sparkology for including us in their Dating Experts column in, “How to Politely Say You’re Not Interested.”
My two cents worth:
More often-than-not, online messages are ignored. Don’t start humming to the Nick Lowe song, “You’ve Got to be Cruel to be Kind” if you decide to respond. Say thank you, but add that you don’t feel you have enough in common to pursue a relationship, or let them know if they’re out of your geographic location or age range.
Of course the hot romantic news of the week was the Friday the 13th announcement of Brad and Angelina’s engagement. There’s no shortage of stories about the ring, but our favorites include CBS News who reports that Brad worked on the engagement ring for a year and Vanity Fair who announced that the famous ring now has an agent.
USA Today interviewed Steve Harvey, author of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, which we had featured in our Reading Room. In this article, the cast dished dating advice, both from the film and how they handle love in the real world. Cosmo posted 10 Fun First Date Ideas He’ll Love. Our favorite was sneaking into a matinee. Our friend Natasha Burton posted on Huffington Post Weddings: Should You Follow Your Nose — Not Your Heart–To Find Love. Would you go to a Pheromone Party to find love at first sniff? See what Natasha has to say on the subject.
YourTango reported on Chris Noth’s (aka Mr. Big) Hawaiian wedding bells to his long-time girlfriend Tara Wilson. Yes, there can be happy ending for a 10-year relationship. Sometimes patience is a virtue.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
The Cyber-Dating Expert Team
Online Dating Advice on Planet Love Match
It was an honor to be a guest on Planet Love Match Radio with hosts Jen Tapiero and Josh Nasar. Some dating advice included what to put in your online dating profile as well as topics to avoid. Learn what makes a profile irresistible with dating tips for singles looking for love online. Also in this episode, Quentin Aaron, from The Blind Side joined the show and talked about his views on dating.
For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Julie Spira is a cyber-relations and online dating expert. She’s the Editor-in-Chief at CyberDatingExpert.com and writes irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene.
Online Dating Advice – How Many People Should I Talk to At Once?
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert
We’ve all heard that online dating is a numbers game. 122 million worldwide to be exact according to ComScore’s research.
When we created Jerry’s irresistible profile, [winks, emails, and IMs, oh my!] his response was “OMG, this stuff is like crack!” While we want you to fall in love and give you many tools to do so, we certainly don’t want to create a universe of online dating addicts.
Having too many conversations at once or viewing too many profiles doesn’t mean you’re going to be successful with the process. As a matter of fact, it could actually backfire on you.
The first week your profile is active is always the busiest time. It then settles down to a more manageable pace. Those who winked at you or flirted with you without a profile are probably not paying members or are not serious about the process, so unless you like their profile, you can just ignore them. If you like the profile, don’t wink or flirt back. Be bold and send an email saying hello. You can even thank them for the wink to let them know you’ve noticed.
I recommended to Jerry that he shouldn’t communicate with more than 5 people at a time. Limiting the ongoing communication will give you the opportunity to get to know someone. If the online conversation goes well, then schedule a phone date. If you feel like you’re at the dentist’s office where someone is pulling teeth, don’t schedule a date.
I shared my thoughts in the ask the dating experts column on Sparkology on how to politely say you’re not interested.
More often-than-not, online messages are ignored. Don’t start humming to the Nick Lowe song, “You’ve Got to be Cruel to be Kind” if you decide to respond. Say thank you, but add that you don’t feel you have enough in common to pursue a relationship, or let them know if they’re out of your geographic location or age range.
Wishing you much joy and love in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and cyber-relations expert. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Like us at Facebook.com/cyberdatingexpert for more dating advice.
Cyber Love Links – Links to Love When You’re in the Mood for Love
We hope you’re enjoying your holiday weekend. It’s time to share our favorite stories shared on Twitter and on our site this week.
A timely post from our friends at YourTango answers the question that mystifies many as to when is the right time to introduce your new GF or BF to your family. Is it the Right Time to Bring Him Home for Easter or Passover? They were kind enough to include our recent video, What is Mobile Dating? at the end of the holiday post.
In her Love & Gratitude column, Rita Watson shared her inspiration on Psychology Today with Come to the Table of Love: An Easter and Passover Tradition.
Our friends at Zoosk announced their new Couples Profiles where you can continue sharing your love milestones on a combined profile. Our favorite Infographic this week comes from FreeDating.co.uk on Dating in a Virtual World. Find out if gentlemen prefer blondes and who falls in love at first sight the most.
Still nervous about online dating? Apparently Sinead O’Connor is looking for love online. Her profile is on Plenty of Fish and we wrote about celebrities who have joined online dating sites. Chemistry.com released their latest Top 10 Cities Survey that was a hot tweet with results that will increase or decrease your passion, depending on where you live.
Over at Glamour.com, we fell in digital love with this story, 10 Stellar Responses to Use the Next Time Some Rude Person Asks, “Why Are You Still Single?
Our favorite Quote of the Day came from BFFTips.com, ”If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t, nothing will make him stay.”
If you missed our Weekly Flirt, you can sign up here.
Wishing you much love and joy in Cyberspace, or wherever you man roam.
~The Cyber-Dating Expert Team
Like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Weekly Flirt – Online Dating Advice
Just in time for the spring holiday weekend, grab your jelly beans and bikinis and enjoy this issue of the Cyber Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Dating and Love in a Web 2.0 World [infographic]
We love Infographics showing the latest trends in online and social dating and couldn’t wait to share this latest one with you.
Some old standards remain to this day, including 49% of singles look at physical characteristics and 64% are interested in dating someone with common interests, but 27% of women are reporting they’ve been dumped in an email, text, or IM. Guys, where are your digital manners? We’re still happy though that 54% of men have experienced love at first sight, so romance is still alive and well.
Since “Brunette” is the new “black,” we had to point out that 60% of men prefer dark hair over blonde.
Enjoy!
~The Cyber-Dating Expert Team
Dating in a Virtual World by Free Dating.co.uk
For online dating advice, Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
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