Internet dating, social dating, Facebook dating, meeting offline or at work, what’s a single dater to do?
A question I get asked often about online dating versus meeting someone offline is, which method is better for me to find the perfect date or mate?
While experts might not agree on this topic, even offline Matchmakers are incorporating digital dating into their business. I believe the answer is clear. There is no one-size fits all formula and everyone’s relationship goals may differ. From hook-ups to marriage proposals, there’s a site and way for everyone.
In my dating coaching practice, I work with singles who are truly looking for a meaningful relationship and send those looking to hookup to a variety of mobile dating apps. Whether it leads you to marriage or not, finding love online needs to be part of your dating regime, just like finding a job online from a message board or Linkedin will help you find your dream job. Being able to grow and maintain your relationship offline is critical as you go through the different phases of a relationship.
As one who believes in casting a wide net, I tell singles that you really need to do both. It’s not one way or the other. In reality, online dating, if done correctly, is just a method or service that will get you out there in the real world to meet someone offline IRL (In-Real-Life).
However, some really think the process of finding someone to love is an either-or proposition. I beg to differ. If you’re truly not comfortable with the computer and don’t think your iPhone or Android is truly a SmartPhone, you’re leaving opportunities behind that could change your relationship status to “In a Relationship,” “Engaged” or “Married” while your friends cheer you on.
Here are some pros and cons on finding love both online and offline.
Pro: Over 40 million singles in the U.S have tried online dating.
Con: It’s a crowded digital marketplace and can be an exhausting experience.
Pro: One out of five relationships start online. Whether it’s on Social media, Facebook, Twitter, a mobile app, or traditional online dating site, there are a lot of success stories.
Con: People lie about their age, weight, height, income, and marital status. Singles get frustrated after a few bad dates.
Pro: You can meet people outside of your geographic area and social circle with similar interests. You’ll meet more people, so you can learn what you’re truly looking for in a date, mate, or relationship.
Con: It can become addicting to some, who never meet offline or are looking for the next pretty face. Beware of the Digital Pen-Pal Syndrome.
Pro: It’s efficient and available 24-hours a day.
Con: It’s like a full-time job for many and you must be organized.
Pro: You may have friends in common which will make you more comfortable.
Con: You’re not really sure of their relationship status.
Pro: You can determine if there’s chemistry in person.
Con: You’re limited to your existing social circles or regular activities and will meet less people.
Pro: It’s pre-dating, without the pressure of wondering if you’re date is who they say they are.
Con: People decide too quickly that they aren’t interested or have no chemistry.
Pro: You can develop new friendships with people with similar interests, even if it doesn’t turn into a romantic relationship.
Con: You’re limiting yourself to a certain geographic area.
At the end of the digital day, if you’re serious about meeting someone special, you must include a combination of both online and offline dating in your routine. Remember the goal of online dating is to take your relationship offline. Riding into the digital sunset together is now a way of everyday life.
If you need a little hand holding, contact us about our Irresistible Profiles and dating coaching to help you find your dream date.
Julie Spira is an Online Dating Expert who was a very early adopter of the Internet. She created her first dating profile almost 20 years ago and has been helping singles on the dating scene. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt.