Martha Stewart’s decision to join Match.com is still a hot topic. If Martha loves dating, of course she should join the millions of singles who are members of an online dating site.
As a guest on the FOX News show, Good Day LA I spoke with Steve Edwards and Robin Sax with suggestions for Martha’s new online dating profile.
I believe Martha needs to create a catchy screen name. Using her real name of Martha Stewart is fine for Linkedin and Twitter, but since she says she feels like she’s 45-50, then she should create a fun and flirty user name for her profile. Martha’s new profile reveals that she’s selected the title of her new book as her screen name. In her profile, of TheGoodLongLife, she indicates that she’s seeking men 55-70 who make $150,000 or more.
Martha should post 3-5 recent photos of herself, but resist the urge to use her magazine cover to treat her online dating profile like a magazine spread. Those photos should be posted on Facebook instead. So far, she’s only posted two pictures. I guess she’s dipping her toes in slowly.
Martha should list some of her recipes under hobbies. She could say that she bakes an amazing key lime pie and then ask a question such as, “Have you ever tried key lime pie or lobster bisque?” It’s no secret that men love to be fed and this gives the men a reason to write to her.
Online dating can be overwhelming. Martha should create an organizational spreadsheet. My coaching clients all receive a Dating Docket, which they fill out to keep all of their dates straight. After all, she wouldn’t want to call Robert by the name of last night’s date, if his name was actually Richard.
What are you dating tips for Martha Stewart? Your comments are welcome.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
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Whether you’ve gone through a recent breakup or you’ve gotten divorced after 20 years of marriage, even if the wounds are still raw, know that your decision to create an online dating profile is a step in the right direction.
Here are 6 simple tips to get you started.
1. Have a Profile Party. It’s time to take the plunge and join an online dating site. This is a digital statement telling the world that you’re not going to sit home and feel sorry for yourself. I recommend that you grab a girlfriend or two and let them participate in a Profile Party. After all, your BFF’s will want to hear the juicy details of your dates and they truly want to see you move forward with your life. Find a few outfits with bright colors such as red or bright pink and let your friends snap the photos for you. If you’re in the Los Angeles area, you can sign up for our Pimp Your Profile Seminar on May 22nd , where I’ll be working with singles how to ramp up their profile in person! If you’re anxious to get started now, here are some of our favorite dating sites. Some offer special discounts to Cyber-Dating Expert readers.
2. It’s a Bio, not a novel. Not sure what to write about yourself? When creating your Internet dating bio and on your first dates, less is more. Don’t focus on what went wrong in your relationship. Talking about your ex is an instant buzz-kill. You’ll come across as someone who just hasn’t gotten over him or her yet.
3. Talk about the kids. If you’re a parent, do mention how important your children are and list their ages in your profile, but don’t post photos of them. A man would like to know that you have time for him in your life, while you juggle work, parenting, and a new relationship. A woman will project to the future to decide whether she wants to be a part of an extended family. Hiding the kids isn’t going to attract your dream date. An understanding partner will appreciate your devotion to your family.
4. Ask and answer questions. Keep your introduction emails short and simple and mention something in his profile that caught your eye. I recommend only a few sentences. It’s also good to ask a question, which will provoke an answer. Mention one of your favorite rock bands and ask if they’ve ever seen them perform live. List some of your dream vacation spots and ask if they’ve ever traveled there. Your goal is to create a conversation based upon your passions.
5. Head over to Facebook and change your relationship status to “Single.” Yes, it may come to a shock to some of your friends, but others might be ready to introduce you to one of their friends. Some of the couples on Facebook Love Stories actually fell in love on Facebook, reconnected with crushes from high school and college, and tied the knot after seeing that someone they knew was suddenly single again.
6. Give good phone. As a parent, your time is very precious. Do make sure you have a phone date before you set up time to meet in person. If you don’t feel any chemistry on the phone, don’t waste your time on setting up a date that probably won’t go well. Avoid becoming a digital pen pal with your new online crush and take your relationship from online to offline within the first few weeks.
Getting divorced is traumatic for everyone. This isn’t the time to compare war-room stories with potential dates. With these online dating tools at your digital finger tips, you’ll be able to start the next chapter of your life sooner, rather than later. Remember, the person that you’ll be meeting may have also gone through a divorce or loss of a loved one. He or she might be just as nervous as you are about starting over again.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert who’s been helping singles find love online since 1994. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for our free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Photo credit: © ijdema – Fotolia.com
She initially joined both Match.com and JDate. “They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince and I did just that,” said Andrea. Having one bad date after another, she kept going offline only to go back online again.
When she met Dan, she thought he was very different than any of her other dates. They chatted online only a few very brief times and sent a few texts to put a date on the calendar.
On the way to their first date, Andrea decided to call Dan. She told him that this was the only time she had never talked on the phone prior to meeting a date. He said it was his first time as well. When they met, she realized they had so much in common. They talked for hours and didn’t even realize anyone else was in the restaurant. After many rounds of our “all you can eat” soup and salad, they said their goodbyes and Dan walked Andrea to her car. Andrea tells said, “He gave me a huge kiss and I was kind of surprised by it, but pleasantly!”
Then their Cyber Love Story got tricky.
Three weeks went by before their scheduled second date, so Andrea didn’t think that Dan was very interested in her. She then canceled their date and starting dating someone else.
When that relationship ran its course, she rejoined Match for a second time. Dan noticed Andrea’s reactivated profile and “winked” at her. Andrea responded and wondered if he had recognized her, which he did. They made plans to get together almost immediately and finally went on their second date.
The two have been inseparable ever since and Andrea knows for sure, that Dan is the love of her life. Andrea and Dan plan on moving in together and look forward to celebrating their one-year anniversary together in September.
Congratulations to Andrea and Dan who gave online dating a chance.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt newsletter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Digital dating can be tricky and there are no real rules, other than you should treat someone the way that you’d like to be treated. Sometimes initial emails that you’ve carefully crafted to someone you think you might connect with, don’t pass the test and you either get ignored, or receive the big rejection email.
While you might be used to receiving rejection letters from schools that you’ve applied to or for manuscripts you might have submitted, when it comes to matters of the heart, these notifications can be hurtful and cold.
Below are six actual rejection letters sent to women online. Some passed the test of being polite, others weren’t necessary.
On Match.com, they make it easy for you to reject someone by giving you the option of sending their canned email to someone whose profile didn’t make the cut on their date card.
This one gentleman was so sure he wanted to reject a particular woman who was on his daily match list, that he sent this canned email twice and followed up with an additional personal email a few hours later.
Was it a bit of overkill? I think so.
Online Dating Rejection Letter One (via automated email)
Subject: Match.com Message: Thanks, but…
Some people just don’t know a good thing…
[Profile user’s name] appreciates your taking the time to let him know you’re interested, but doesn’t think you’re a good match for him. Don’t be discouraged. Magic happens when you least expect it. With millions of singles on Match.com, you could be just one click away from finding someone who’s right for you.
Six hours after receiving two canned rejection letters, he decided to send a personalized rejection letter.
Online Dating Rejection Letter Two (via email)
Subject: i am not sure
i dont know vhy….a think you are not funny..
With all of the punctuation problems and three attempts to be rejected, it appears a bullet was dodged. One can only wonder how many others received multiple rejection letters on a daily basis from this guy and why he’s still single. I think he made his point, but they hadn’t even exchanged a single email yet. Three strikes, he’s out.
Online Dating Rejection Letter Three (via email)
It was great meeting you the other evening.
I got the feeling that we most likely are in the “friend pile” and that’s OK.
Lets stay in touch!
All the best!
Did he really want to be “just friends?” Probably not, as men and women can’t be friends, right? However, he was a gentleman about it and didn’t put her down. Leaving the options open? Looking for Plan B?
Online Dating Rejection Letter Four (via email)
How are you?
I really enjoyed the time with you. You’re interesting and fun to talk to–you have great experience and accomplishments and sharing your views with people. It was a quality evening ….thank you.
I wish that I felt that we are a good/right match, but my senses tell me not–so best to carry on with our searches, I believe.
I wish you the best of luck in yours and in finding the great man you deserve.
Yes. He didn’t have the chemistry with her that he was hoping for. It was the most flattering online dating rejection letter that ever crossed my desk. How can you not like this man while he gently let her down? Did he need to send an email at all? No. They didn’t have plans for a second date, nor did he say, “I’ll call you” when he walked her to her car.
Online Dating Rejection Letter Five (via email)
In the department of he was feeling it, but thought she wasn’t, a gentleman sent the following email to his date who he had been excited about. Fortunately, she read between the lines and replied to him to keep the conversation going.
Subject: No Subject
Thanks for a wonderful evening..you are a beautiful accomplished intelligent woman…but pretty clear we don’t mesh = I got that from your parting and body language…I wish you all the best with your career brand and love life.
Rather than ignoring his email, she responded, because she did feel a connection with her date.
Subject: Your Email
Thanks for a lovely evening.
I really enjoyed our conversation and thought we were getting along well, so I was surprised to get your rejection letter today, after over a combination of a dozen phone calls/emails.
I don’t believe that body language is a barometer and it was a cold winter night. I did say I had a great time with you when I said goodbye, which would have been a cue to ask me out for a second date, but you decided not to. I would have welcomed that.
However, I do understand these types of emails…the “it’s not you it’s me…” I don’t believe it had to do with parting after about 3 hours (most dates are much shorter), or my body language, so perhaps you were wrong with your assumption, and so it goes…..
I wish you the best of luck with your search and hope you find someone to mesh with.
He of course replied to her and realized that he was wrong in assuming there wasn’t a connection. In this case, it was salvageable.
Sometimes a rejection letter gives the sender the feeling of power. Other times, they’re hoping to get a reply begging them to consider. Either way, I recommend no contact after a date that didn’t go well, especially if there’s no second date scheduled on the calendar.
Dating can be hard. You’re meshing two people together in one night of conversation to try to decide whether you should go on a second date or not. First impressions matter and we’re human. Sometimes we might have an off night. I think you should always give someone a second chance if you’ve enjoyed their company, rather than sending a unilateral rejection letter.
Have you ever sent a rejection email to someone after a date? Have you ever received one that caught you off guard? Do you think it’s necessary to communicate that you’re not feeling it for someone after a first date? Personalized or canned? I invite you to post your experiences in our comments.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is the leading online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene and is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt.
Photo credits: © indomercy – Fotolia.com
Meet Rasheda and Brandon, who found love on the free online dating site OKCupid.
Rasheda was ready to give up on Internet dating, but decided to return to OkCupid, where she met Brandon in August of 2012.
After their first date, Rasheda thought Brandon was a really “nice” guy.
Brandon managed to catch her attention by sending her a bouquet of flowers to her office on the Monday following their first date. Continuing to be the good guy, he would send Rasheeda e-cards and suggest interesting dates.
However, after a month, Rasheda decided that Brandon belonged in the “friend zone” (ouch). They stopped dating during the month of October, while she decided whether to date him or another guy.
Fortunately, she came to her senses before losing him completely. The two reconnected in November and went on a romantic date to the Opera. Afterwards, they went dancing, where she realized that she was falling for him.
Brandon invited Rasheda over for Thanksgiving dinner and they’ve been together ever since. The two are planning a romantic trip to the Bahamas this spring.
Congratulations to Rasheda and Brandon who prove that nice guys don’t always finish last and that patience is a virtue.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Share your Cyber Love Story with us!
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter and connect at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and on Twitter @JulieSpira.
In the continuing coverage of Manti Te’o and other daters who’ve been duped by online dating romance hoaxes, Katie Couric featured an entire episode of online dating safety with tips on what you need to know, while looking for love online.
On the Katie Show, we learned that online dating sites get more than 500 million clicks per month. Katie added that and 81% of people lie on their profiles.
To add a little entertainment to the serious topic of Internet dating safety, Katie polled her studio audience with three relevant dating deal-breaker questions that most female online daters could relate to.
Dating Deal-Breaker 1
Katie: “He’s talk dark and handsome. In real life he’s short and stout. Is that a deal breaker or not?”
Audience: 69% said Yes. 31% said No.
Dating Deal-Breaker 2
Katie: “His profile says his picture was from last week. Reality: It was from 1972. Is that a deal breaker or not?”
Audience: 71% said Yes. 29% said No.
Dating Deal-Breaker 3
Katie: “His profile says, ‘Filthy Rich.” Reality, he’s Dead Broke.”
Audience: 58% said Yes. 32% said No.
For more online dating safety tips from the Katie show, visit KatieCouric.com.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for the Weekly Flirt newsletter and join the conversation at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Meet Chanel and Brandon who met online on POF.com.
Chanel was immediately intrigued by Brandon’s sense of humor. They soon started chatting online for hours, laughing, and getting to know each other.
Brandon was instantly enamored with Chanel’s outgoing and fun personality, and knew right away that she was someone he had to get to know.
When their first date at a comedy club rolled around, they hit it off effortlessly, and an online spark immediately turned into a real-life connection. Soon enough, Brandon was asking for permission to propose, and presented her with a diamond ring made from his grandmother’s, and they were engaged.
Brandon and Chanel remember their wedding day on July 21, 2012 as a completely magical affair. Because they met online, they selected a Plentyoffish theme throughout to celebrate their love for the color blue! The couple also performed a Korean tea ceremony called Pae-Baek, in which each family welcomes the new member with blessings and words of wisdom. The pair further paid tribute to their families by wearing Chanel’s mother and father’s original wedding bands.
After overcoming obstacles together including unemployment, family health scares, and even entering in “Tough Mudder”, a brutal obstacle-style 12 mile race designed by Navy Seals, the couple is looking forward to traveling and starting a family together!
Congratulations to Chanel and Brandon who found love online on Plenty of Fish.
Share your Cyber Love Story with us!
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
With all of the frenzy and constantly updating stories of the Manti Te’o hoax, I was invited to appear on Good Day LA with Steve Edwards and Robin Sax. If you missed the segment, you can watch it now to learn the signs of an online dating hoax and find out how to find love online.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
With online dating, we’ve been told it’s all about the photo, as both men and women are visual.
Today, our friends at OkCupid have launched their Crazy Blind Date mobile app, where you go back to the basics of when your grandmother fixed you up, along with a technology twist.
In honor of the launch, you’ll feel a bit naked when you log on to OkCupid today, as the site celebrates “Love is Blind Day.” OkCupid has removed all ten million photos on their members’ profiles to create awareness of their new app.
Sam Yagan, OkCupid founder and Cyber-Dating Expert friend says, “People will say that Crazy Blind Date is too crazy.” He adds, “But for a whole generation of young singles, it’s going to be a great adventure, and a great compliment to online dating.”
One thing we know for sure, is that mobile dating does speed up the process to meet someone IRL. In our recent Mobile Dating BootCamp, several of the participants used OkCupid’s mobile app and other mobile dating apps to try to find love from the convenience of their mobile phones. This app could help you if you’re looking for a last minute date or don’t want to be dateless on Valentine’s Day.
OkCupid says that Crazy Blind Date takes less than a minute of work:
- Download the Crazy Blind Date app for iPhone or Android
- Choose which nights this week you want to go on dates.
- Pick your favorite bar or coffee shop.
- Go on with your day; Crazy Blind Date does the rest.
Users are encouraged to share their dates on Twitter with the hashtag of #CrazyBlindDate and fees for the dates will apply.
Are you ready to go back to blind dating?
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She’s the host of Online Dating BootCamp and Mobile Dating BootCamp. Julie creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @Juliespira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
So you think you’d like to start a dating service or perhaps are interested in the online dating industry.
The 10th Annual iDate (Internet dating) Conference is just a few days away in Las Vegas.
This is the most comprehensive three days of deep knowledge about the dating industry.
I’ll be moderating the online dating focus group on Thursday, January 17th, as well as being a presenter at the evening’s annual iDate Awards.
Marc Lesnick, iDate Conference Organizer has curated over 70 panelists, including Dr. Neil Clark Warren who founded eHarmony, Larry Magid from CBS News, and a large group of offline matchmakers.
Registration details are here: I hope to see you there.