New Online Dating Site for Virgins Only
August 9, 2010
Do you remember the hit song from the 80s, “Like a Virgin” from Madonna? Well hum a little more now if you are single, have not had sex, and want to meet another virgin. There’s now an online dating site for you.
YouAndMePure.com has been created exclusively for virgins who want to wait until marriage to have sex. Their tagline is “The Friendly place for Virgins to Meet.”
The site, originally called virgintovirgin.com, was created by husband and wife team, Lety and Jose Colin. The couple credits their successful marriage to the fact that they had saved themselves for each other. They were virgins and are proud to spread the news and become evangelists to create a new home for singles looking for love online.
According to Jose Colin, “Our site is designed specifically for singles who share the value of premarital sexual abstinence.” Colin added, “We offer a comfortable place where abstinence is nothing to be ashamed of and can be discussed safely and with freedom.”
Often, we see the lack of authenticity in online dating profiles. As it’s common for singles to lie about their age and weight, would one lie about their sexual past? Naturally, we can’t guarantee that those who “went all the way” won’t find themselves intrigued with YouAndMeArePure.com ‘s free membership with a new pool of dating prospects. It will be hard to police the members and it’s unlikely the site will require proof of a medical exam to become a premium member.
YouAndMeArePure.com offers free standard memberships to all applicants. An upgraded Gold Membership is currently free for women. I look forward to hearing about their online dating success stories.
Julie Spira is worldwide authority in online dating. She is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and is the host of Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show.
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Peril of the Week – The Donny Downer
July 30, 2010
You may have heard the stories of the “Debbie Downer” on a date. She’s the girl that talks about all of her problems and turns guys away faster than the speed of lightning. This week, you’ll meet her counterpart, the “Donny Downer.” Our online dating story this week is about the tale of the gentleman who came completely unprepared for his date. He didn’t rehearse his conversation on the long drive to lunch.
When they sat down at the restaurant, he first complained about the calorie count of the entrees. She smiled and changed the subject. Then he complained about his bad back and asked her if she had any back problems. He went on to talk about his father’s dementia and his mother’s hospital stay. She didn’t believe in bringing her medical history to the table.
The conversation then switched to the financial and gambling problems his adult son had. She wondered why he thought she needed to know. In between the appetizer and entree, he managed to talk about his two ex-wives.
Finally, he asked her what she thought of Obama as the President of the United States and talked about how awful he was in doing his job as the leader of our country. She preferred not to talk about politics.
Here’s my dating advice for this situation. Please leave the baggage behind. Conversations about the ex, financial, and health problems shouldn’t be on the top of your list on a first date. Keep your first date positive, upbeat and light. He was a classic “Donny Downer.” Although he might have been a nice guy, he wasn’t about to get to a second date.
Do you have an online dating story to share? For consideration in the Peril of the Week, please send us your stories.
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7 First Date Mistakes You Absolutely Can’t Afford to Make
July 27, 2010
Have you ever felt like Internet dating was similar to an online auction? What happens when there’s multiple bidders for the newest fresh face? In a recent article on Match.com’s Happen Magazine, I point out seven key items
Sometimes singles dating online feel like they are nothing other than a 2-dimensional object. What you need to remember is that online dating is simply the first step in building a relationship between two people. The goal is to successfully move your relationship from offline to online. Remember, there could be heavy competition for dates — and you can’t afford to blow your first impression, either online or off-line.
Here are some first-date mistakes that you absolutely can’t afford to make if you want to put a second date on your social calendar:
1. Avoid the ex-factor. I’ve seen too many dinner dates that start out great only to end up being over before the main course has arrived. Why? Because too many people bring their exes to the table with them. This includes not only former spouses and lovers, but jobs, too. No one wants to hear about your sad past on a first date. Instead, always try to keep it light and fun. Talk about your favorite film, play, vacation spot, book, or what you enjoy doing on the weekends.
2. Flirting with disaster. My dad likes to flirt with waitresses. It’s fine for my parents, as they have been married for over 50 years. Too often, though, I hear about men staring at their cute waitress or having a roving eye while on their first date with someone. So, men: focus on the woman you are meeting. Be captivated by your first-date conversation. Engage with the person sitting across the table from you.
3. Don’t dress for the bedroom. Men are visual creatures and they can imagine undressing women with their eyes the moment they meet. This doesn’t mean that women should wear a sexy low-cut outfit showing off lots of cleavage. Men like to slowly unwrap a package, so to speak. Unless you’re just looking for a hook-up, women should leave the sexy clothes for when they really are ready for a more intimate relationship.
4. Obey the food and beverage rule. While dating can be expensive if it includes multiple restaurants or drink tabs every week, if a man asks a woman out for coffee on a first date, he should offer to order her a beverage. If you think this is ridiculous, you’d be surprised. Often, I hear about coffee dates where a gentleman will either bring his own water or just refuse to order a cup of tea for the woman he is meeting. If he is truly interested in getting to a second date, a coffee date means exactly that: it involves a beverage. Offer to order a coffee. A lunch or dinner date means ordering something to eat.
5. Hide the iPhone and BlackBerry. Sure, you connect with others online. You can even use MatchMobile™ while you’re on the go. But when you get to your date, put your smartphone in your pocket or purse and leave it there. It shouldn’t be a visible accessory on your date. Otherwise, it will give the impression that you are waiting for a better invitation to come in. Avoid the urge to check your messages and text a friend while you’re on a date.
6. Do your homework. Just as you should be prepared for a job interview by researching your prospective employer to make a good impression, you should remember important details about the date you’re meeting. If your calendar is filled with dates, it can be confusing. Nothing is more of a turn-off than a man asking a woman why she never got married when she’s actually been married twice before. A man won’t feel good about his date when she asks why he decided to go into real estate when he’s really a doctor. Print out your date’s profile. Make notes on the page outlining the conversations you have together. Mention something that you liked about his or her profile. Don’t act like this person’s just another number in a series and that you’re too busy dating around to remember individual details.
7. It’s a first date, not an instant relationship. Dating and courting is a process. Even if you connect on a deeper level and think he or she could be The One, don’t start talking about your future together right now. It’s just a first date. Enjoy the fact that it’s going well. Be excited that you both want to put a second date on the calendar, but don’t start filling up someone’s life as the instant girlfriend or instant boyfriend. It can come across as needy and you might get a voicemail message later on canceling date number two. Show your date that you have a full and happy life. Having someone special in it will just make it that much better. And remember that courtship should be enjoyable!
Even if there is no chemistry on your date, don’t be rude and walk out. What if your date happens to have a friend he or she’d be happy to introduce to you that would be a better fit? What if your date invites you to a business-networking event? Look at every date as a possibility for expanding your social network or meeting a new friend. If it turns into a romantic relationship, then you’ve hit the jackpot.
Julie Spira is a worldwide authority in online dating who posted her first online dating profile in 1994 and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Spira’s dating advice has been featured in such publications as The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Glamour, Men’s Health, Woman’s Day, and more. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com.
Finding Your Perfect Match
July 26, 2010
After Dr. Pepper Schwartz’s appearance on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show, I just needed to share more with you. It’s with great pleasure for me to add her book, Finding Your Perfect Match
Dr. Schwartz is the Chief Relationship Expert at Perfect Match, an online dating site that she helped create the Duet Compatibility Profiles for. Her book helps readers identify the eight specific personality characteristics that they need to understand about themselves-and others. In her book, she helps singles determine who they would be compatible with based upon similar personalities. Her book includes a series of self-tests that have helped thousands of people in their search for love, gives them an intimate and honest appraisal of who they are, what they want, and ultimately, who they should be with.
Some of the lifestyle issues she focuses on includes: money, sex, children, core values, and social life. You’ll learn what your deal-breakers are and be able to determine whether someone is a potential match before getting deeply involved. If you are looking for a lasting relationship, this book may be for you.
Click here to purchase a copy>>>
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10 *Free* Summer Days on eHarmony
July 24, 2010
What’s better than an eHarmony *Free* weekend? Well the popular online dating site is now offering you an opportunity to try their service for *free* for 10 full days this summer. Starting July 23rd and lasting through August 1st, start communicating with other singles on their site.
Summer is one of the best times to find love. Make it your best.
eHarmony.com for FREE—Communicate for free between 7/23/10 – 8/1/10 in the US…Try Now
The Love Hypnotist on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show
July 17, 2010
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert
Imagine being with your ideal partner. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?
Listen to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show, where my guest, Debra Berndt, the Love Hypnotist and author of the bestseller, Let Love In: Open Your Heart and Mind to Attract Your Ideal Partner, provided invaluable dating advice and tips for how to find the love you are looking for online.
You’ll hear about how self-hypnosis can help change your thought patterns and how easy it really is to do. You’ll find out how to get that “hypno-glow.”
If you find yourself constantly drawn to the same type of women or men over and over again, and realize that it isn’t working for you, listen to Debra’s relationship advice. This includes thinking about 3 positive things about yourself that you want to be on your first date.
Listen to the program, where you’ll learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.
Cyber Love Story of the Week – Vanessa and Ray
July 16, 2010
Vanessa moved from the east coast to the suburbs of Houston a few years ago. She wanted to meet new and interesting people, but was too busy with her job at NASA and didn’t have time to enter the dating scene.
Based upon recommendations from friends, she joined the online dating site BlackPeopleMeet.com as a free member. When she saw Ray’s profile, she decided to upgrade her membership immediately to meet him.
She sent Ray, a foster parent, an email introduction. Ray responded and the communication began.
During their first lunch date, they quickly realized that they both had a lot in common. Both Vanessa and Ray had children from their previous marriages. They also both enjoyed crossword puzzles and exercising.
The two easily blended their families together and two years after their first online date, they were married.
Congratulations to Vanessa and Ray who found love online on BlackPeopleMeet.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
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Why People Lie in their Online Dating Profiles
July 15, 2010
Lately, more than ever, the subject of lying in one’s cyberdating profile has become a hot topic. Some have become accustomed to the age, height, and income exaggerations for the benefit of showing up in a search.
It appears that lying on your profiles never goes out of style. It’s become a bit of an epidemic. On July 29, I will be a guest on The Stars of PR with Cindy R at 7am/PT. Her radio show segment is called The Big Lie on VoiceAmerica Radio Network. Cindy contacted me as lying has become so in vogue that she wanted to do an entire segment on why singles lie to fit into a search. Just days later after confirming my show segment with Cindy Rakowitz, my friend Sam Yagan at OkCupid sent me an email with their latest statistical great post in OkTrends called The Big Lies People Tell in Online Dating. I am a big fan of OkCupid and always look forward to their blogposts.
Let’s take a deeper look at OkCupid’s findings, which are not shocking. Of course, I’ll toss my two cents in.
1. Height – Reality: People are 2 inches shorter in real life. If you have read my book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online
My first entry simply said:
WHAT THEY SAY: Male: Height 5’7″
WHAT THEY MEAN: Male: Height 5’5″
It appears things have not changed in the past few years.
2. Income – Reality: People are 20% poorer than they say they are.
OkCupid says that apparently, an online dater’s imagination is the best performing mutual fund of the last 10 years. I have to agree. More often than not, men are not putting their income on their profiles so they don’t have to see for themselves what the economy has done. Others aren’t interested in finding gold diggers. A recent online dater that I know of listed his previous salary which was 50% higher than his current income. He was in his 50s. He also said he was divorced, however he was “separated, divorce pending.” Interesting data from OkCupid.
3. Photos – REALITY: The more attractive the picture, the more likely it is to be out-of-date.
OkCupid has some terrific tricks to determine when a photo was actually taken. It’s worth taking a look at. Their findings claim that “most of the pictures on their online dating site were of recent vintage; site-wide the median photo age at upload was just 92 days. However, hotter photos were much more likely to be outdated than normal ones.”
I don’t disagree, but here’s a refreshing and amusing twist on the other side. A recent dater that I know of sat across from his attractive date and confessed the following: “I’m sorry. I’m uncomfortable. You appear too young for me.” Yes, you read this correctly. He was expecting an older woman, someone closer in age to himself or at least visually closer in age to his ex-wife, and not a woman that appeared closer in age to his daughter.
He added that, “Most women lie about their age in their profiles so I was hoping you would be older. You look younger than your photo.” Now, this isn’t the norm, but are we accustomed to being disappointed on our first dates to the fact that if you do indeed look like your profile it is a complete shock?
4. Swinging Both Ways – REALITY: 80% of self-identified bisexuals are only interested in one gender.
OkCupid claims to be a gay-friendly site and has some interesting statistics about their members in their study. The fantasy is clearly greater than the reality.
Feel free to comment and share your opinion. Do you lie on your online dating profile? Have your expectations been lowered to the point that you are in shock when someone looks like their profile and accurately represents themselves?
I hope you listen to our radio show segment on this subject on July 22, 2010.
Julie Spira is known as the Cyber-Dating Expert. She created her first online dating profile in 1994. She is the author of bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberdatingExpert.com. Follow her on Twitter @JulieSpira. Like the Fan Page
Dr. Romance on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show
July 10, 2010
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert
Listen to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show, where my guest Tina B. Tessina, known as Dr. Romance and author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again, provided her dating advice and relationship tips for those who are newly single.
You’ll hear some of our best tips including:
♥ When and how to introduce your children to your date
♥ How to spot a player and why he’s so tempting
♥ How to find happily ever after, safely on your favorite online site.
We talked about our favorite dating tips to help you find love on the Internet. Listen to the program to learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.
Dating Advice – Why Her First boyfriend Probably Isn’t “the one”
July 8, 2010
Cyber-Dating Expert
The excitement of a first love or first crush can make your emotions fly high, hormones hit the roof, and create a feeling of overall happiness. However, in your early 20s, it’s more likely that it’s the first of many new relationships.
Read my dating advice for Dara who met her first boyfriend online.
Dear Julie:
I’m a very inexperienced 23-year-old and I’ve never had a boyfriend, until now. I joined Mate1.com about two weeks ago and met a really great guy.
We chat almost everyday, exchange calls, and even met up a few times. He is kind, respectful, and gives me as much space as I need, but lately things have become quite intimate and I think I might be developing some serious feelings.
My question is; am I rushing into things? Should I try meeting other guys to see what else is out there? I’ve felt so happy since I met him, but then I’m not used to getting attention from men so is it because of him or the attention?
Dara
Hi Dara,
Congratulations on meeting a quality guy online. At 23-years old, you are aware that you are not very experienced with men. Chatting with your new beau almost every day after only a few weeks of dating is a good sign that you are developing a relationship.
What kind of relationship? It’s too soon for anyone at any age to know after two weeks. It’s important to know that when a woman becomes intimate with a man, she automatically bonds to him.
The chemicals are released and you might even feel like you love this man early on. If you have serious feelings for him and the feelings are mutual, just enjoy it. He has all of the qualities of a dream guy so far. Unless you have the conversation about being exclusive, assume you are not.
By dating other men, it will help keep this new relationship in perspective. If you both decide together to retire your online dating profiles, then you will need to focus on this relationship and treat him the way you want to be treated.
Enjoying the honeymoon phase of a new relationship and see where it goes. Don’t put too expectations on the relationship and hope that he is as happy as you are.
Julie Spira is known worldwide as the Cyber-Dating Expert. She coaches singles on finding love online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com
