Writing an Online Dating Profile
September 22, 2010
Recently, I was interviewed by the Mercury News for an article called, How to Write an Online Dating Profile. The article was published in newspapers throughout the country where I provided online dating tips along with some words and phrases to avoid in your Internet dating profile.
By Jessica Yadegaran
Online Profile Writing – 101
How do you draw eyes to your online dating profile? Follow these tips from cyber dating expert Julie Spira
- Include three clear, recent photographs of yourself.
- Talk about your passions, hobbies, and volunteer work.
- Use humor, as long as it translates well.
- Mention what you are looking for in a date or partner.
- Run spell-check and fix grammatical errors.
- Have a friend read your profile to make sure it represents you.
Bad Buzz Words
Avoid using these words and phrases when writing your online profile, says cyber-dating expert Julie Spira. They often carry loaded meanings.
- Don’t call yourself sexy. Let the person viewing your profile make that determination.
- Don’t say you’re “looking for someone who is financially stable.” It makes you sound like a gold digger.
- Avoid saying you want a person who is physically fit. They can see what your physical “type” is in the multiple choice sections of most online dating websites.
- The phrase “I’m looking for my better half” makes you sound needy and less confident. People want to know that you’re a whole person before they meet you. Same with “I’m looking for my soulmate.” It’s cliche and over the top.
- Avoid saying you like the “finer things in life.” Spell out what you mean, or you’ll wind up sounding too high maintenance.
FIVE YEARS AGO, Tiffany Garcia spotted Matt Weber’s profile on Match. It was the humor and honesty in Weber’s profile that stood out from the others, she says.
“It wasn’t too self-promoting,” says Garcia, 35, who married Weber last year. The couple lives in San Jose. As Garcia recalls, Weber spoke of his love of being a dad and how he doesn’t like meeting people in bars. “People have a certain need to brand themselves, and his was more authentic and genuine.”
Last April, Match.com reported that one in five couples meet online, surpassing church and bars as a way to find a partner. Writing a profile to catch someone’s eye is akin to dressing up for a singles party: You want to make a good first impression. So if you don’t already know how to look good on the computer screen, it may be time you learned.
Think of your profile as the resume for your personal life, a short, snappy write-up that reflects your personality and what you are looking for without revealing too much, says Los Angeles-based cyberdating expert Julie Spira. Don’t brag. Don’t be long-winded. And don’t forget to run spell-check.
Avoid buzz words and phrases. They can convey things you didn’t intend, Spira says. For instance, you might think writing that you enjoy the finer things in life sounds good. But it can come across as high maintenance. “Looking for my better half” sounds desperate. Soulmate? Cliche.
Three clear, current photographs are ideal, says Spira, author of “The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online” (Morgan James, 2009). Use a head shot, body shot, and one that shows you hiking, wine tasting, or doing something else you love. Lastly, leave out photos of children, even if they’re yours.
“I don’t believe in exploiting kids online,” she says. “You can talk about them in your essay.”
Ah, the dreaded essay. To take the pressure off and pique peoples’ curiosity, Spira suggests using a catchy, descriptive screen name, like yogagirl415 or giantsfan925. “If they like that, chances are they’ll keep reading,” she says.
Other tips: Don’t tell your life story. Skip the drama. Instead, include interesting hobbies, passions, and what you’re looking for, not what you think a man or woman wants to hear, Spira adds. Most importantly, have a friend read your profile before you post it.
For the full article, visit Mercury News
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show with Dr. Diana Kirschner
July 11, 2009
Dr. Diana Kirschner and Julie Spira
Listen to this week’s Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show, where my featured guest Dr. Diana Kirschner discussed her best-selling book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love.
Dr. Diana talked about some of the 13 deadly dating patterns from her book including The Flame Out, The Fantasy Relationship, I’ll Make You Love Me, and Not Perfect, I’ll Pass. We also discussed her Six Secrets of Rapid Online Dating Success.
Learn how to get your Internet dating profile to stand out among the large pool of online daters in this terrific show.
