Would you Use Facebook to Land a Date?

Our friends at YourTango just completed their Dating in a Digital Age survey and found that 63% of singles are using online dating sites to find a serious relationship.

Of those surveyed, 95% said they have used Facebook to find a date. This number is enormous and does give hope to singles that cyber love is truly a way of everyday life.

So how do you make sure you’re putting your best digital foot forward?

Let’s start with amping up your Facebook profile.

PHOTOS

Putting the best primary photo you can possibly find is key to your success in finding love on Facebook. Posting a photo with your BFF is off-limits. One with your cousin is also off the list if you’re single. It can send confusing messages and you won’t know for sure that someone is single.  Posting no photo at all is as obsolete as the fax machine or VHS player. Remember, your photo will appear in a search, even to non-friends who would like to connect with you.

The YourTango study confirmed this as they found that two-thirds would not go on a date with someone whose profile contains no photos.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS

Think you’re too shy to let someone know you’re single? Think again. Not posting you’re relationship status as “Single” or “Divorced” doesn’t mean you’re desperate. It means you’re stating your intention that you’re available for a relationship. On Facebook Love Stories, you’ll read the heartwarming story of Taunia and Jake. When Taunia changed her relationship status to “Divorced,” she became reunited with a former boyfriend from twenty years earlier. The two got engaged at the Eiffel Tower in Paris and will be getting married this summer. Is that worth the free advertising on Facebook if you want to find love? We think so.

BECOME A FACEBOOK FLIRT

If you have a digital crush on someone, spend time occasionally “liking” and commenting on his or her posts. Don’t overdo it, as you don’t want to come across as an obsessed cyber-stalking type. It’s digital foreplay and it’s amazing how it really works.

WATCH WHAT YOU POST

Posting photos and party shots over-and-over again might not send the message that you’re relationship material. Make sure your posts are varied and not all about you. Ask engaging questions in your posts and thank those who comment. Even if he or she won’t be the love of your life, think about their extended social network. Who doesn’t want to play digital matchmaker?

Are you flirting on Facebook? Do you think Facebook could be the world’s largest dating site?  You’re comments are welcome.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and Facebook Love Stories. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more digital dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and visit our Cyber-Dating Expert and Facebook Love Stories pages.

Does Online Dating Really Work?

The big news in the online dating world is that couples who have met through an online dating site have a higher marital satisfaction rate than those who met offline.

In a Harris Interactive study, commissioned by eHarmony, the new statistics show that over 1/3 of recent marriages have actually met online.  This clearly shows that more people are interested in finding a serious relationship through a digital connection. The findings were published in the journal, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.  The study, titled “Marital satisfaction and break-ups differ across on-line and off-line meeting venues,” is based on a survey of almost 20,000 people who wed between 2005 and 2012.

Just how much more satisfied are these relationships? On a scale of 1-10, relationships from online dating ranked 5.64 as compared to offline relationships at 5.48. Of those who met online, 45% met in a traditional online dating site and almost 21% met on a social networking site.

In a recent radio interview on AmericaWeekend, I discussed the eHarmony findings with Turi Ryder. You can listen to our radio show broadcast here.

To be successful in online dating, I believe that you need to be very specific in what you’re looking for. More-and-more people are joining online dating sites for the first time, due to divorce, death of a spouse, or relationships running their course.

Earlier this year, we launched Facebook Love Stories to focus on the large amount of couples who are finding love through social networking sites.

So does online dating work? It certainly does, but you need to be patient and diligent in the process if you’re seriously interested in finding love on the Internet. Those who give up after a week or a month will be naysayers, but those who understand that finding love or a life partner is probably more important than finding your next job, should take the time and enjoy the journey.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and dating coach. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Julie creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt.

Online Dating BootCamp – Creating an Irresistible Profile [Video]

Meet Lauren who signed up for Online Dating BootCamp with Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira. In a video series on YourTango, we’ll follow her progress while she looks for love online.

Lauren has a new profile on Match and has high hopes that she’ll find someone to marry.

In this video, you’ll find out how to create a catchy screen name, learn the best number of photos to include in an Internet dating profile, and how to describe exactly what you’re looking for.

For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert. To learn about Online Dating BootCamp, visit IrresistibleProfiles.com

Cyber Love Story – Marsha and Curt

Digital love. It comes in many flavors and varieties. We’ve got traditional online dating sites, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Skype, and the list goes on.

This week, my dear friends Marsha Collier and Curt Buthman became engaged. Marsha, a bestselling author living in Los Angeles, met Curt, a business consultant who resided in North Carolina on Twitter in October of 2010. Marsha shared her excitement about her new Twitter love and the two were scheduled to meet IRL at BlogWorld, a social media conference in Las Vegas. Fortunately, I was there to cheer the two on and witness the power of social media and romantic relationships first hand.

The two were lucky and excited to see that their online chemistry transferred to an exciting offline connection. They stayed in touch via Skype every night as their relationship continued to develop.

When the holidays arrived two months later, Curt decided to fly to Los Angeles to see how the two would mesh in Marsha’s home town. After two weeks together, Curt knew it was perfect. He was hooked.

Curt moved to Los Angeles two months later and the two have been inseparable for the past two years.

Curt realized that Twitter was a big part of their lives. Marsha is the host of the #custserv twitter chat on Tuesday evenings and the two regularly chat on Twitter. Curt decided Twitter and social media needed to be a part of his proposal. On the day he decided to propose to Marsha, he sent several of us a private message on Facebook to let us know that he would be proposing at 6:45pm using the Twitter hashtag of #willyoumarryme during her weekly #custserv chat.

At 6:45pm, the loving tweet was sent. Curt popped the digital Q on Twitter.

 

 

In his associated Vine video Curt said, Marsha. I love you so much. Will you marry me, please please?

Curt held up an engagement ring, which was a family heirloom. His Twitter and Vine marriage proposal went viral.

Many of Marsha’s followers waited patiently for her to accept.

 

Curt apologized for disrupting Marsha’s Twitter #custserv chat.

 

Finally, Marsha said Yes! Their Vine marriage proposal on Twitter has gone viral.

 

Congratulations to Marsha and Curt, our Cyber Love Story of the Week who will ride into the digital sunset together.

Do you have an online dating story to share?

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt newsletter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Special Event – Pimp Your Profile – Online Dating Advice

 

“If only my profile brought me my dream man.”

“Online dating works for some, but never for me.”

“Irresistible Profile? Right.”

These are some of the comments that I hear from frustrated online daters who quit within the first month after joining an Internet dating site.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

I feel your pain and know that just like having the perfect resume to get your dream job, your online dating profile needs to be IRRESISTIBLE to capture his or her attention. Sometimes you need a little bit of digital hand holding. Now, singles in Los Angeles will have the opportunity to learn all of the Secrets to Finding Love Online on Wednesday, May 22nd in Studio City, CA.

It’s with great excitement to announce our partnership between Cyber-Dating Expert, Julie Spira and Hurry Date to Pimp Your Profile.

I’ll be on hand with my best tips and will critique everyone’s profiles privately so you can quickly ride into the digital sunset together.

You deserve to have an Irresistible Profile.

Tickets are very limited, so RSVP now!

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter. To RSVP for the Pimp Your Profile Seminar, click here.

The Rolling Stones – You Made a Grown Girl Smile

It’s been awhile since I’ve written about my whereabouts in “Where’s Julie,” but it was a date night to remember that I wanted to share with you.

As a Rolling Stones fan who has seen the world’s greatest rock and roll bank in concert over 40 times, I was super-excited to have great seats for the kick-off of their “50 and Counting” anniversary world tour, which started in Los Angeles.

On Friday night at the Staples Center, even with the controversy of the overpriced tickets, I was treated to two hours and twenty minutes of solid rock and roll and another memory that will remain in my heart and soul forever.

As a former music radio DJ, I’ve had the unique experience of meeting the band, seeing them perform for four decades spanning three countries, I couldn’t miss this historical event, even as I wondered if it would be my last time.

Speculation was abuzz all week long as to who the surprise guests would be. After all, this is Los Angeles. If Bruce Springsteen and Lady Gaga showed up in New York, someone could easily hop on stage from the audience to add to the harmonies on a tune or two.

Prior to the show, Keith Urban tweeted to his 770,000 fans:

 

 

 

Urban sang to the song “Respectable” from their Some Girls album. The snippet of the video clip from his performance was posted to his twitter page and can be found here.

We also knew prior to show time that Gwen Stefani would be making a guest appearance and we were treated to her accompaniment on “Wild Horses.”

The show started an hour late, possibly due to the late arrival of Jack Nicholson, a regular at the venue during the Lakers Games. Nicholson received a standing ovation as he made his way to the front of the stage area.

Shortly there after, the UCLA Bruins Marching Band arrived for an introduction to “Satisfaction.” Then one of the greatest shows began.

In a stage designed with their signature tongue, we were treated to 23 songs and a few memorable quotes:

• “The only reason we’re here is to make the Laker’s look younger.” ~Mick Jagger (referring to the concert date change due to the NBA Playoff’s)

• “It’s great to be here. It’s great to be anywhere.” ~Keith Richards

• “Good evening L.A. Or is it really Beverly Hills, Brentwood and Santa Monica?” ~ Mick Jagger (referring to the high-priced tickets)

• “It’s either us or the Lakers, so now you’ve got us.  It doesn’t matter to Jack Nicholson because he was coming to both of them.” (Jagger’s apology for the date change).

• “We first played LA in 1965. Thank you for coming to see us. We really appreciate it.”

Jagger ran around the stage like a Mexican jumping bean causing anyone in their 60s and 70s to feel a bit jealous of his energy.

There wasn’t a fan in the crowd, who didn’t feel completely satisfied from seeing the world’s greatest rock and roll band.”

Set list.

1.    Get Off of My Cloud
2.    The Last Time
3.    It’s Only Rock ‘n’Roll
4.    Paint it Black
5.    Gimme Shelter
6.    Wild Horses (with Gwen Stefani)
7.    Factory Girl
8.    Emotional Rescue.
9.    Respectable (with Keith Urban)
10.    Doom and Gloom
11.    One More Shot
12.    Honky Tonk women
13.    Before They Make Me Run
14.    Happy
15.    Midnight Rambler (with Mick Taylor)
16.    Miss You
17.    Start Me Up
18.    Tumbling Dice
19.    Brown Sugar
20.    Sympathy for the Devil
Encore
21.    You Can’t Always Get What You Want (Cal State Long Beach Chamber Cole Conservatory Choir)
22.    Jumpin’ Jack Flash
23.    Satisfaction

Julie Spira on Good Day LA – Online Dating Tips for Martha Stewart

Martha Stewart’s decision to join Match.com is still a hot topic. If Martha loves dating, of course she should join the millions of singles who are members of an online dating site.

As a guest on the FOX News show, Good Day LA I spoke with Steve Edwards and Robin Sax with suggestions for Martha’s new online dating profile.

I believe Martha needs to create a catchy screen name. Using her real name of Martha Stewart is fine for Linkedin and Twitter, but since she says she feels like she’s 45-50, then she should create a fun and flirty user name for her profile. Martha’s new profile reveals that she’s selected the title of her new book as her screen name. In her profile, of TheGoodLongLife, she indicates that she’s seeking men 55-70 who make $150,000 or more.

Martha should post 3-5 recent photos of herself, but resist the urge to use her magazine cover to treat her online dating profile like a magazine spread. Those photos should be posted on Facebook instead. So far, she’s only posted two pictures. I guess she’s dipping her toes in slowly.

Martha should list some of her recipes under hobbies. She could say that she bakes an amazing key lime pie and then ask a question such as, “Have you ever tried key lime pie or lobster bisque?” It’s no secret that men love to be fed and this gives the men a reason to write to her.

Online dating can be overwhelming. Martha should create an organizational spreadsheet. My coaching clients all receive a Dating Docket, which they fill out to keep all of their dates straight. After all, she wouldn’t want to call Robert by the name of last night’s date, if his name was actually Richard.

What are you dating tips for Martha Stewart? Your comments are welcome.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Full article on My Fox LA

6 Tips for Online Dating After Divorce

Whether you’ve gone through a recent breakup or you’ve gotten divorced after 20 years of marriage, even if the wounds are still raw, know that your decision to create an online dating profile is a step in the right direction.

Here are 6 simple tips to get you started.

1. Have a Profile Party. It’s time to take the plunge and join an online dating site. This is a digital statement telling the world that you’re not going to sit home and feel sorry for yourself. I recommend that you grab a girlfriend or two and let them participate in a Profile Party. After all, your BFF’s will want to hear the juicy details of your dates and they truly want to see you move forward with your life. Find a few outfits with bright colors such as red or bright pink and let your friends snap the photos for you. If you’re in the Los Angeles area, you can sign up for our Pimp Your Profile Seminar on May 22nd , where I’ll be working with singles how to ramp up their profile in person! If you’re anxious to get started now, here are some of our favorite dating sites. Some offer special discounts to Cyber-Dating Expert readers.

2. It’s a Bio, not a novel. Not sure what to write about yourself? When creating your Internet dating bio and on your first dates, less is more. Don’t focus on what went wrong in your relationship. Talking about your ex is an instant buzz-kill. You’ll come across as someone who just hasn’t gotten over him or her yet.

3. Talk about the kids. If you’re a parent, do mention how important your children are and list their ages in your profile, but don’t post photos of them. A man would like to know that you have time for him in your life, while you juggle work, parenting, and a new relationship. A woman will project to the future to decide whether she wants to be a part of an extended family. Hiding the kids isn’t going to attract your dream date. An understanding partner will appreciate your devotion to your family.

4. Ask and answer questions. Keep your introduction emails short and simple and mention something in his profile that caught your eye. I recommend only a few sentences. It’s also good to ask a question, which will provoke an answer. Mention one of your favorite rock bands and ask if they’ve ever seen them perform live. List some of your dream vacation spots and ask if they’ve ever traveled there. Your goal is to create a conversation based upon your passions.

5.  Head over to Facebook and change your relationship status to “Single.” Yes, it may come to a shock to some of your friends, but others might be ready to introduce you to one of their friends. Some of the couples on Facebook Love Stories actually fell in love on Facebook, reconnected with crushes from high school and college, and tied the knot after seeing that someone they knew was suddenly single again.

6. Give good phone. As a parent, your time is very precious. Do make sure you have a phone date before you set up time to meet in person. If you don’t feel any chemistry on the phone, don’t waste your time on setting up a date that probably won’t go well. Avoid becoming a digital pen pal with your new online crush and take your relationship from online to offline within the first few weeks.

Getting divorced is traumatic for everyone. This isn’t the time to compare war-room stories with potential dates. With these online dating tools at your digital finger tips, you’ll be able to start the next chapter of your life sooner, rather than later. Remember, the person that you’ll be meeting may have also gone through a divorce or loss of a loved one. He or she might be just as nervous as you are about starting over again.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert who’s been helping singles find love online since 1994. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for our free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Photo credit: © ijdema – Fotolia.com

Cyber Love Story – Andrea and Dan

After finding herself single again at the age of 52 with two teenage kids, Andrea decided it was time to join an online dating site in May of 2012.

She initially joined both Match.com and JDate. “They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince and I did just that,” said Andrea. Having one bad date after another, she kept going offline only to go back online again.

When she met Dan, she thought he was very different than any of her other dates.  They chatted online only a few very brief times and sent a few texts to put a date on the calendar.

On the way to their first date,  Andrea decided to call Dan.  She told him that this was the only time she had never talked on the phone prior to meeting a date.  He said it was his first time as well.  When they met, she realized they had so much in common. They talked for hours and didn’t even realize anyone else was in the restaurant.  After many rounds of our “all you can eat” soup and salad, they said their goodbyes and Dan walked Andrea to her car.  Andrea tells said, “He gave me a huge kiss and I was kind of surprised by it, but pleasantly!”

Then their Cyber Love Story got tricky.

Three weeks went by before their scheduled second date, so Andrea didn’t think that Dan was very interested in her. She then canceled their date and starting dating someone else.

When that relationship ran its course, she rejoined Match for a second time. Dan noticed Andrea’s reactivated profile and “winked” at her. Andrea responded and wondered if he had recognized her, which he did. They made plans to get together almost immediately and finally went on their second date.

The two have been inseparable ever since and Andrea knows for sure, that Dan is the love of her life.  Andrea and Dan plan on moving in together and look forward to celebrating their one-year anniversary together in September.

Congratulations to Andrea and Dan who gave online dating a chance.

Do you have an online dating story to share?

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt newsletter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Love and Money – Online Dating on a Budget

When you’ve signed up for an online dating site, at first you’ll be dating multiple people. We know it can be expensive. Then suddenly you meet the perfect girl online. Your phone chemistry is off the charts.  The first date went so well, that you can’t wait to see her again. You’d like to show up with a dozen roses or provide a posh mode of transportation for your evening on the town to impress her. But what if you don’t have a lot of money and your credit is on the low end? It’s not uncommon with today’s economic shift to feel financially strapped while dating. Finding love online can be euphoric or cause a bit of anxiety in the early days.

The relationship between money and dating causes unnecessary stress for both men and women. Women want men who are financially secure. Men want women they’re attracted to who would fall in love with them, instead of their bank account.

So what should you do to impress her without breaking the bank? I believe that bringing a dozen tulips, costing 1/3 of the price will put a big smile on her face, but if you’d like to eventually splurge on a romantic vacation, it might be time to fix your credit and avoid spending more than you can afford.

While you’re getting your financial house in order, you still can impress a date with fun and inexpensive activities.

Inexpensive Dates

Nifty Date Ideas has several affordable suggestions for your next online date.

• Take your date to a remote spot to watch the sunset and bring a picnic lunch or dinner. If you live in a northern climate and the Aurora Borealis or a meteor shower can be seen that night, you could make an exception.
• Perform community service such as going to a community center to volunteer, planting flowers for a neighbor or shoveling snow.
• Playing board games is inexpensive, and there’s a wide range of games available: Monopoly, Candy Land or Sorry.
• Take your date on a nature walk and pick raspberries or blackberries. Eat them along the walk or save them in buckets to make a pie or tart.
• Remember the fun of school field trips? Take a free factory tour or visit a historical building to relive those grade-school excursions.
• Visit a library or bookstore, find a cozy corner and browse through books or magazines. You can also rent audiobooks or movies at most local libraries. The spot might have a coffee shop, so you can discuss what you read over a hot mocha or latte.

There’s no need to go into debt to impress your next date. You should still take some time to repair your credit in the next 6-12 months and be responsible about not spending more than you can afford.

How to Improve Your Score

Money problems is one of the top reasons for a relationship to split up. If your credit rating is low and your long-term goals are to find someone to spend the rest of your life with and even possibly buy a home or lease a car, it’s a good idea to start working on improving your credit score. MSN Money suggests you start by opening a line of credit through a credit card. It states you don’t need to carry a balance to have good scores; it’s a myth. Consider a secured credit card if you can’t open a traditional credit card. The issuing bank gives you a credit line equal to the deposit you make for a secured card. MSN Money says paying off your mortgage, auto and student loans can help, but not as dramatically as paying off accounts such as credit cards. Pay your bills on time and, if you can, pay more than the balance due.

If you want to improve your credit in a bigger way, consider getting a used car. Used cars are a good choice because a car that is only a year old is 20 to 30 percent cheaper than a new car, according to Edmunds.com. And it’s possible to get a regular interest rate, even with poor credit. A person with good credit will usually get an interest rate on a used car between 5 and 7 percent, while many auto companies and lenders will finance a vehicle or OK a loan from 6.7 to 13.5 percent, according to bankrate.com.

Have you managed to find fun and affordable dates?

Your comments are welcome.

Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates Irresistible Profiles for Singles on the dating scene.

For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt.

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