Cyber Love Links – Links to Love, When You’re in the Mood for Love
We’re still in the merry month of May, which has been proclaimed Romance Month. So if you have a digital crush on someone or would like to reconnect with a former college flame, reach out and feel the love.
It’s that time of the week where we take a moment to share the articles on the web and Twitter as well as thank those who have featured Cyber-Dating Expert in their many articles.
First with the gratitude: Thank you to GenConnect and our friend Laurel House, Quickie Chick for the great video interview, How to Create You Love Life Resume. Sure we know you don’t want to look at online dating like a chore or a job, but here are some tips to ramp up your search. Also, a huge thank you to YourTango who collected a group of experts for a 7-Day Love Your Body series. We wish women wouldn’t feel so insecure about their appearance. Men do love the real you, so enjoy our advice in 16 Things You Hate About Your Body That Men Love. The Friends of Ricki community shared our FOX News video on their Facebook page for their relationship Tuesday topic, so stop by and say hello! Our article, To Text or Not to Text: Crazy Dating Texts That Went Viral was shared by everyone who prays they never become that girl or guy.
On Twitter, some of our favorite stories included Huffington Post Weddings: How to Stop Money Problems in Your Marriage Before They Start. Do men think you’ll go to bed with them on the first date if you wear red? I say no. YourTango Experts say yes. Let us know what you think. Our friend Jeannie Assimos at eHarmony Advice posted a great article, Online Dating Wisdom from Hall and Oates. On The Rules of Netiquette, we shared Texting While Walking Will Cost You a Ticket. Better sit on a park bench to let your date know you’re running late. Match just announced their events for singles as well as Beyond the Wink: Games to play online. Let us know what you think.
We’re getting ready to launch the Mobile Dating Bootcamp and next week you’ll meet our contestants!
Our favorite quote of the week came from Sir Paul McCartney: “And, in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.”
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira and the Cyber-Dating Expert Team.
For more dating advice, Like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and join our Weekly Flirt.
Cyber Love Story of the Week – Jeanelle and Barry
Meet Jeanelle and Barry who were looking for love online on MySpace.
Both single, the two were hoping to meet someone to build a relationship with, but weren’t searching in the same zip code range. Barry was searching for girls in his zip code in Arizona and Jeanelle was searching within 50 miles of her own.
One day when Barry was online, his computer crashed causing him to have to restore his data. When he logged on to his MySpace page his search had mistakenly changed to include Jeanelle’s zip code. Barry told Jeanelle that her picture was on the second page of the results and although he kept looking for a few days, he kept going back to view Jeanelle’s photo.
For three days Barry read over Jeanelle’s page and wondered if he should reach out to Jeanelle and start a mixed-race relationship. Both Jeanelle and her friends were African-American according to the photos that Barry had viewed. Barry wasn’t sure if Jeanelle would be interested in meeting a white man for a serious relationship.
Barry emailed Jeanelle a sweet email welcoming her to Arizona and said that she could email him anytime. The two emailed each other for a month before they spoke on the phone and then talked via phone for an entire month before they met. They both wanted to make sure they were building a friendship before jumping into an intimate relationship.
What really made Jeanelle fall in love with Barry is that even after she told him that she had two sons and MS, he still chose to be with her. She knew they were really in love. After the two months of courting, the two finally met and one year later on the anniversary of their first date, they were married. “He’s my best friend and because we became friends first, we remain friends through any challenge we face,” said Jeanelle. “Online dating can be successful when both parties go in wanting a friendship before they become intimate.”
Congratulations to Jeanelle and Barry who teach us that true friendship is the basis of a long term and loving relationship.
Do you have a Cyber Love Story to share? Share your stories on our Facebook page
Julie Spira is an online dating, netiquette and cyber-relations expert. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice and where you can sign up for the Weekly Flirt. Like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
To Text, or Not to Text – Crazy Dating Texts That Went Viral
Dating and humor. It can be a winning combination for those looking for love online, and lethal for those who suffer from a texting anxiety complex.
First we saw the single girl with the cat video which spread across the Internet. We laughed, we shared it, and we really didn’t want to be that girl.
Then we found out about Ashton Kutcher’s online dating video, which was a spoof.
Most of us remember spreadsheet guy, who was totally embarrassed that his date and her friends leaked his private excel spreadsheet with comments about each date to the media.
But the saddest of them all are those who suffer from the crazy texting syndrome. Both men and women are not immune from this new epidemic.
A few stories have been spreading online with screen shots of text messages that will make you cringe. Yes, both men and women get obsessed with sending breakup texts or ones begging their dates to see them again.
Those desperate to love and be loved sometimes can’t always control their digital fingers. They call, they text, they email, they beg, become control freaks, breakup, and in the end they make complete fools of themselves for the rest of the world to see. Even if he or she might be interested in a second date or reconciliation, this behavior chases them away in a New York minute.
Gawker reported on the Fedora Lawyer guy in New York who went to the movies to see The Avengers with a movie date who needed to keep the upper digital hand. His date wasn’t that into him, but she behaved properly on the date, didn’t insult him and let him know she had a nice time, but he wasn’t for her. This is more typical than not, as most singles don’t get to a second date.
The Fedora was described as passive-aggressive. He decided to rate his date a 5.5 out of 10 and put her down saying it was her loss.
A few months ago, BuzzFeed shared the story of the girl who slept with the guy on a first date. She subsequently sent over 50 messages in 3 days, both begging him to see her and getting angry with him. All they had was one date. Now she has a permanent digital footprint on the Internet of a drama she probably wished she hadn’t been a participant on.
The point is that we all want to feel love and be loved so badly, that sometimes we act in desperate ways to connect which results in sabotaging any potential with your new crush. Sure we can make fun of these stories. When I wrote The Perils of Cyber-Dating, I wanted to share some humor about my own personal stories that I believed others could relate to. But there comes a time where you need to take the high road, hold your head up and have some dignity and just walk away when it’s over.
Dating is a numbers game. Instant chemistry is rare. When you find it, don’t take it for granted. Don’t play texting games or try to manipulate someone to like you or see you again if the feelings aren’t mutual. Let the relationship move at a healthy course and keep the communications open. If someone politely says they’re busy and can’t get together again, don’t let it become an interrogation or deposition. You don’t want to go down in history as being that crazy guy or girl that no one will want to go out with again.
At the end of the digital day, think before you text. Anything you send digitally can and will be shared. There’s always someone else who will find you to be an incredible addition to his or her life. Sometimes the best things in life are worth waiting for.
Don’t Become a Digital Dating Fool while Dating in a Web 2.0 World.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and cyber-relations expert. She’s the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and The Rules of Netiquette. Connect with Julie on Facebook and Twitter. Join in the conversation on the pages for The Rules of Netiquette and Cyber-Dating Expert and share your online dating stories.
Should Single Parents Mention Their Kids on Online Dating Profiles?
It’s Mother’s Day and Father’s Day is just around the corner. It’s time to honor the single parents who are trying to find love on the Internet.
Being a single parent can be tricky. You should be proud and excited about your child’s school play or graduation. I personally believe kids, especially in their formulative years while still in the household should rank higher on the totem pole than your date.
Our friends at Sparkology posed the question to 10 relationship experts, myself included. We all chimed in with our thoughts in the latest expert panel, Should Single Mom’s Include Their Kids in Online Dating Profiles?
I’m a big believer that hiding children is a big mistake. You want to attract someone who admires you for being a great parent. I also believe that you shouldn’t post photos of your kids on your profile as it’s exploitative. Put yourself in your kids shoes. Do they really want to know you’re advertising for a new step parent or lover along with their smiling faces?
The boomer market is the largest growing age range for singles looking for love online. Most of them have children. Some have taken on the role as a full-time single parent. Some are interested in blending families and others are not.
It’s important for your date to understand that your children are a priority for you, but there’s still room for them. It’s a balancing act that if handled properly can result in enriching everyone’s life.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of the single moms who are proud of their children. One day you’ll have an empty nest and can look back on these days knowing you did the best in your role as a parent, both while married, while alone, and while you were dating for companionship and love.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is an online dating and cyber-relations expert. Visit her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert, @JulieSpira on Twitter, and sign up for the Weekly Flirt for more dating advice.
Photo credit: © Konstantin Tavrov – Fotolia.com
Cyber Love Links – Mother’s Day Edition
It’s Mother’s Day weekend and May has also been proclaimed Romance Month, so there’s no shortage of fabulous stories about dating, love and romance on the web and on Twitter.
Let’s start with overwhelming amount of gratitude for all the media mentions this week. Monday started out with a terrific TV promo shoot for the upcoming Ricki Lake Show. I was honored to participate along with others in the Friends of Ricki community. Here’s a sneak peek of a hug from Ricki on location posted on Twitter.
On Tuesday, Dr. Drew Pinsky featured a segment on MissTravel.com and asked me to chime in with my thoughts on the subject. It was an honor to be featured as one of 30 influential women in the Speakerpalooza series on Wednesday. Enjoy the article, Dating Online? 5 Secrets to Finding Love Again. We’ve got free books to give away, so make sure to comment on the post. On Wednesday we also announced the first-ever Mobile Dating Bootcamp.
On Thursday, I was honored to be featured as one of America’s Ultimate Experts in Woman’s World magazine. The issue is now available at most grocery store check out stands. Check out page 26, I want more romance in my life! Lastly, I’d like to thank our friends at iVillage for the contribution to The Rules: Dos and Don’ts for Online Dating. Whew! There’s enough dating advice to last you through the summer romance season. None of this excitement could be possible if it wasn’t for the continuing support from you, our loyal readers and students.
What stories were hot this week? The Time magazine Mother’s Day cover story has gone viral. Yahoo! posted the story Jamie Lynne Grumet Defends Her Time Magazine Breastfeeding Cover from an interview on “Today Show.” On YourTango, We Love Dates posted the 4 Things You Should Never Say on a First Date and we couldn’t agree more. Be authentic, but stay positive and leave the drama at home. Clutch posted 3 Things We Wish Men Would Leave Off Their Online Dating Profiles and our friends at Match featured a timely article in Happen magazine, Dating a Mom on Mother’s Day with a reminder not to overwhelm her if you’re in a new relationship. It’s not Valentine’s Day.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Happy Mother’s Day.
Julie Spira and the Cyber-Dating Expert Team.
Dating Advice: To Take Down, or Not to Take Down Your Profile
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert
Dating in a Web 2.0 World can be very tricky and emotional at times. The big drama often surrounds one pulling down their online dating profile while the other is still playing the field. I’m not into game playing and believe you should follow your heart.
However, it’s rare for two people who are in a new relationship to be on the same digital page on each and every date. While you’re in the getting-to-know you phase, the best rules are ones which include honesty and avoid entrapment.
So when I was asked by Diane Mapes to contribute to her article on Match.com’s Happen Magazine, in Pulling your profile after finding The One, I was happy to share my thoughts.
Let’s start with the unplugging parties. Should you agree to have a celebration and pull down your profiles together? It’s a growing popular trend, but I think it comes with too much pressure. If the man suggests an unplugging celebration and you feel great about it, go ahead and do so. It’s like having a digital anniversary. While I believe a woman could suggest future outings and dates, I don’t believe she should be the one to schedule a date to unplug. There’s still some old-fashioned chivalry and courtship that takes place, both online and offline.
In matters of digital courting, typically the man takes down his profile first. Perhaps he’ll share that information with his date, but if they’ve just met, it can scare a woman away. She’ll be flattered, but might not be ready to go to the next step of dating exclusively or be ready for any intimate expectations that might be expected with retiring dating profiles. If a woman takes down her profile, guys shouldn’t run away thinking she did it for them. Often a woman will receive too many emails from men she isn’t interested in, or her paid membership may have expired.
Taking down your profile as well as changing your Facebook relationship status can be a big deal and come along with 2-dimensional assumptions that could kill your relationship.
The best times to take down your profile:
1. You’re tired of online dating and are receiving too many emails from incompatible people, or too few emails to make it worth your while.
2. You have a crush on someone and you don’t want him or her to think you’re a serial dater logging in daily to see the next fresh face.
3. One has already taken their profile down and you feel you’d like to reciprocate and see where the relationship will go.
4. You both agree to date exclusively.
5. Before you become physically intimate.
The worst times to take down a profile:
1. After a first date. Sorry, it’s just too soon and will send him or her running with the fear they are in an instant relationship.
2. If you feel pressured to do so by the other party.
3. To make someone else you like feel jealous.
4. To pressure your date to do the same.
5. To hide it temporarily before your date knowing you plan on re-posting it when you get home.
When *Debbie was thinking about going on her first romantic weekend away with *Mike, it made sense for the two of them to take down their profiles. However *Mike gave her the big ultimatum. She wasn’t exactly ready to retire her profile, but he kept her on the phone and walked her through the instructions until he was satisfied that her profile was removed. Debbie found this behavior controlling and their relationship ran its course. She still tells me that she remembers the day that he forced her to take down her profile, or he’d be moving on.
When *Mark told *Jill he had taken his profile down on their 4th date, Jill was flattered, but told him she just wasn’t ready. She hoped that she would catch up, but was open to dating others still. After the 6th date, Jill decided to date Mark exclusively and took down her profile on her own. This relationship started off based upon honesty and without manipulation. Mark was willing to wait for Jill rather than leave her for a more eager face. The two eventually got engaged.
At the end of the digital day, I believe in developing the friendship part of your relationship if you’re looking for long-term love. Remember, you’ve met online and you’re creating your relationship history now offline. Taking down your profile doesn’t mean you’re going ring shopping or heading to the altar. It doesn’t mean you’re jumping into bed either. Often it’s a gesture to show genuine interest. Be flattered when he or she takes down their profile, but don’t go crazy with assumptions and over analyze the situation. You’re just dating and getting to know each other. Enjoy the journey.
Julie Spira is an online dating and cyber-relations expert. She’s the Editor-in-Chief at CyberDatingExpert.com and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt and Like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Announcing the First-Ever Mobile Dating BootCamp
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Online Dating Expert Julie Spira and ThreeDayRule to Host Mobile Dating Boot Camp
Los Angeles, CA — May 9, 2012 Julie Spira, the leading online dating expert and ThreeDayRule, Los Angeles’ top singles event company will join forces to create the first-ever Mobile Dating Boot Camp, designed to help online daters improve their chances to find a date, a friend, or love online using the latest mobile dating apps.
Twelve of ThreeDayRule’s most eligible singles will participate in a four-week challenge starting on May 17, 2012. Each contestant will utilize two mobile dating apps daily during the period and chronicle their experiences at mobiledatingbootcamp.com.
The selected daters’ will share their experiences on the use of these apps in a mobile dating focus group led by Spira at iDate/Mobile Dating Conference in front of Internet Dating Executives on June 22, 2012 at the SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills, CA.
“It’s an honor to have been selected to moderate the first-only mobile dating user focus group at this year’s iDate Conference,” said Spira. “Mobile dating is certainly on the rise and is the number one topic at the summer Internet Dating Conference,” Spira added. “Users are more engaged and online dating sites are embracing mobile strategies. Knowing what their customer base thinks of existing mobile apps will help sites formulate a better strategy, while helping singles find love online much faster on their smartphones.”
According to a Juniper research study, the mobile industry is expected to grow to $1.4 billion by 2013. Users of mobile apps are more engaged than those who visit the web-based site versions of dating sites.
Contestants in the Mobile Dating Boot Camp will receive over $600 in prizes including an online dating profile critique from Cyber-Dating Expert, a dating coaching session from ThreeDayRule, and will receive other prizes, including a luxurious catered lunch at the SLS Hotel.
About Cyber-Dating Expert
Cyber Dating Expert is the leading online dating advice site created by Internet dating pioneer, online dating expert and mobile dating expert Julie Spira. Spira’s dating advice has reached millions and she is a well-sought out expert in the media on the topic of cyber-relations. Spira is the author of the bestseller,“ The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.” She was an early adopter of the Internet having created her first online dating profile in 1994. She coaches singles with her signature irresistible profiles program. This will be Spira’s third time speaking at the Internet Dating Conference. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com and MobileDatingExpert.com.
About ThreeDayRule
ThreeDayRule is an online dating site for sophisticated singles. The ThreeDayRule experience is different because the community is curated. The result? A high quality pool of potential candidates with impressive careers, achievements, and great personalities. Request membership at ThreeDayRule.com
About the Internet Dating Conference
Since 2004, iDate is the worldwide leading trade show and convention for the dating business. The event brings together CEOs and senior executives from all the major dating companies. The event covers online dating, social dating, speed dating, matchmaking, mobile dating, dating coaching, software, dating affiliate management, dating services and other forms of the industry. iDate will be held on June 22-24, 2012 at the SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills, CA. To register, visit internetdatingconference.com.
Cyber Love Song – Give Them Something to Talk About – Bonnie Raitt
Happy Music Monday. One of our Facebook fans had requested this fabulous song from Bonnie Raitt, “Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About” after reading our article on Flirtationships.
Enjoy the music and feel free to share it with your friends.
Do you have a favorite Cyber Love Song?
Connect with us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and join our Weekly Flirt for dating advice
Follow @JulieSpira
FOX News – Cyber Love Can Come With Tricks [video]
Watch Online Dating Expert Julie Spira on FOX News with tips on how to navigate online dating. Does there profile look too good to be true? Share your comments below.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert, bestselling author, and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
How to Know if You’re in Flirtationship Mode
It can happen at any age, but when my friends at HerCampus reached out to me to talk about the flirtation phenomena that was happening on the college campuses everywhere, I wasn’t surprised. Dating and relating in a web 2.0 world is quite simply complicated these days.
We flirt in text messages, on twitter, in emails, and in-real-life.
If you regularly find yourself flirting with a guy friend but for one reason or another, you don’t become an official couple, guess what? Your relationship status can be defined as “In a Flirationship.”
So what is a flirtationship and how do you know if your relationship status is in that in-between phase that won’t move to the next level? A flirtationship is that fun and flirty in-between place of being just friends and without claiming that you’re in a relationship. More often than not, it doesn’t become a romantic relationship. It’s a friendship filled with flirting and sometimes benefits.
When your friends ask you if you and that guy who keeps escorting you to parties are dating, it’s time to take a romantic pause and ask yourself, “How do I feel about my guy pal? Can we become more than just-friends?” If you go to sleep at night with thoughts of him on your mind, it’s time to realize that you’re more than just friends.
For a list of rules on how to behave in a Flirtation relationship, read the full article on Her Campus.
Are you in a Flirtationship? We’d love to hear your story.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. For dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
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