How to Make the Most of Your Free eHarmony Weekend
September 2, 2010
Labor Day weekend is almost here. Starting tonight at midnight, our friends at eHarmony have a special weekend that I highly recommend.
Goodbye, Summer. Hello, Love. Connect on eHarmony FREE 9/3-6!
With summer relationships winding down, many singles will be looking for love online. If you’re ready to start dating, here’s my advice on how to make this weekend work the best for you during their 4-day event.
1. You can take advantage of their offer by signing up now and creating your profile so it’s ready to go tonight at midnight. Their in-depth questionnaire is really targeted to those who are looking for serious relationships and marriage.
2. If you need help with your irresistible online dating profile, at Cyber-Dating Expert, we work with singles to make the process easier and more enjoyable.
3. Make sure you carve out the time to get organized and spend several hours a day reviewing the matches that eHarmony sends to you.
4. Respond in a timely manner to those who start the communication process with you.
5. If you’re ready to communicate, jump over to their fast-track where you can send emails to your matches.
I know that eHarmony works. I was with dozens of their success couples in New York during their 10th anniversary celebration earlier this month. Their online dating site is now responsible for over 500 people getting married every day.
Don’t Labor Over Finding Love—Connect on eHarmony FREE 9/3-6! Let us know if you meet that someone special!
10 Best Cities to Find Love Online
August 30, 2010
Our friends at OkCupid looked at over 1 million active users on their free online dating site to see where the most active singles resided in the past year.
In an article on Forbes.com, Sam Yagan, OkCupid’s CEO and a friend of CyberDatingExpert.com talked about the specifics of each city. Whether they are filled with tech-savvy singles or college students who chose to reside in their college town, overall the popularity of online dating continues to rise.
As more singles are busy signing onto Facebook on a daily basis, they are expanding their personal search onto Internet dating sites in record numbers.
If you’re lucky to live in one of these top 10 cities, it’s time to log on more often and revise your online dating profile. If not, I suggest you cast a wider net and look outside your geographical area if you are serious about finding love online.
OkCupid’s Top 10 Cities to Find Love Online
1. Boston, MA
2. Washington, DC
3. San Francisco, CA
4. Seattle, WA
5. Atlanta, GA
6. Portland, OR
7. Philadelphia, PA
8. Los Angeles, CA
9. Dallas, TX
10. Detroit, MI
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show with Paige Parker
August 25, 2010
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert
Join Cyber Dating Expert Julie Spira at a very special time and date on Friday, August 27, 2010 at 3pm with Paige Parker, author of Dating Without Drama on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show.
You’ll hear Paige’s dating advice on how a woman can successfully attract a man, leave the drama behind, and become more confident while looking for love online.
You won’t want to miss this end of summer special program.
Call in at 646-929-0012 at 2pm/ET, 12noon/CT, 11am/PT to learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.
7 First Date Mistakes You Can’t Afford to Make
August 18, 2010
Recently, I wrote an article for Match.com’s Happen magazine about first date blunders you should avoid while looking for love online. Here are some first-date mistakes that you absolutely can’t afford to make if you want to put a second date on your planning calendar.
Click here for full article on Match>>>
Experts know that online dating can be a numbers game. You need to always put your best foot forward when you find a profile that’s intriguing and are interested in pursuing someone. But what many singles fail to realize is that your number-one pick may also be many other people’s favorite, too!
I sometimes compare Internet dating to an online auction: there might be multiple bidders at any time, and may the best man or woman win. Do I think that online singles are nothing more than objects of affection? Not at all. Online dating is simply the first step in building a relationship between two people that you need to successfully move offline. But remember, there could be heavy competition for dates — and you can’t afford to blow your first impression, either online or off-line.
1. Avoid the ex-factor.
I’ve seen too many dinner dates that start out great only to end up being over before the main course has arrived. Why? Because too many people bring their exes to the table with them. This includes not only former spouses and lovers, but jobs, too. No one wants to hear about your sad past on a first date. Instead, always try to keep it light and fun. Talk about your favorite film, play, vacation spot, book, or what you enjoy doing on the weekends.
2. Flirting with disaster.
My dad likes to flirt with waitresses. It’s fine for my parents, as they have been married for over 50 years. Too often, though, I hear about men staring at their cute waitress or having a roving eye while on their first date with someone. So, men: focus on the woman you are meeting. Be captivated by your first-date conversation. Engage with the person sitting across the table from you.
3. Don’t dress for the bedroom.
Men are visual creatures and they can imagine undressing women with their eyes the moment they meet. This doesn’t mean that women should wear a sexy low-cut outfit showing off lots of cleavage. Men like to slowly unwrap a package, so to speak. Unless you’re just looking for a hook-up, women should leave the sexy clothes for when they really are ready for a more intimate relationship.
4. Obey the food and beverage rule.
While dating can be expensive if it includes multiple restaurants or drink tabs every week, if a man asks a woman out for coffee on a first date, he should offer to order her a beverage. If you think this is ridiculous, you’d be surprised. Often, I hear about coffee dates where a gentleman will either bring his own water or just refuse to order a cup of tea for the woman he is meeting. If he is truly interested in getting to a second date, a coffee date means exactly that: it involves a beverage. Offer to order a coffee. A lunch or dinner date means ordering something to eat.
5. Hide the iPhone and BlackBerry.
Sure, you connect with others online. You can even use MatchMobile™ while you’re on the go. But when you get to your date, put your smartphone in your pocket or purse and leave it there. It shouldn’t be a visible accessory on your date. Otherwise, it will give the impression that you are waiting for a better invitation to come in. Avoid the urge to check your messages and text a friend while you’re on a date.
6. Do your homework.
Just as you should be prepared for a job interview by researching your prospective employer to make a good impression, you should remember important details about the date you’re meeting. If your calendar is filled with dates, it can be confusing. Nothing is more of a turn-off than a man asking a woman why she never got married when she’s actually been married twice before. A man won’t feel good about his date when she asks why he decided to go into real estate when he’s really a doctor. Print out your date’s profile. Make notes on the page outlining the conversations you have together. Mention something that you liked about his or her profile. Don’t act like this person’s just another number in a series and that you’re too busy dating around to remember individual details.
7. It’s a first date, not an instant relationship.
Dating and courting is a process. Even if you connect on a deeper level and think he or she could be The One, don’t start talking about your future together right now. It’s just a first date. Enjoy the fact that it’s going well. Be excited that you both want to put a second date on the calendar, but don’t start filling up someone’s life as the instant girlfriend or instant boyfriend. It can come across as needy and you might get a voicemail message later on canceling date number two. Show your date that you have a full and happy life. Having someone special in it will just make it that much better. And remember that courtship should be enjoyable!
Even if there is no chemistry on your date, don’t be rude and walk out. What if your date happens to have a friend he or she’d be happy to introduce to you that would be a better fit? What if your date invites you to a business-networking event? Look at every date as a possibility for expanding your social network or meeting a new friend. If it turns into a romantic relationship, then you’ve hit the jackpot.
Julie Spira is a worldwide authority in online dating who posted her first online dating profile in 1994 and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Spira’s dating advice has been featured in such publications as The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Glamour, Men’s Health, Woman’s Day, and more. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com Follow her on Twitter @JulieSpira
Carrie Seim on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show
August 6, 2010
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert
Listen to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show where my guest, Carrie Seim, dating columnist and contributor to the New York Post and Betty Confidential shared with us some of her personal experiences while looking for love online.
Carrie shared some of her dating advice and her personal experience with Outsourcing Love, where she hired a virtual assistant in India to help her with her cyberdating search.
You’ll hear about Dating with Borders, and why you should consider joining European dating site such as Meetic.com if you aren’t meeting someone in your local city. Hear about SkyeCandy.com, CrazyBlindDates.com and more.
Join in on the fun and learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.
Single Edition on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show
July 31, 2010
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert
Listen to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show, where Sherri Langburt, founder of SingleEdition.com shared her mission of creating a lifestyle site to help singles in many areas of their lives.
Sherri, herself, is an online dating success story. After 10 years of online dating, she met her husband on JDate.
Single Edition provides dating and relationship advice from experts, along with suggestions for traveling solo, as well as health and beauty advice.
Find out Sherri’s secrets on why her online dating profile led to her marriage and hear her inspiration for singles looking for love online.
Listen to the program where you will hear more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show: Single Edition
July 29, 2010
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert
Join Cyber Dating Expert Julie Spira on Saturday July 31, 2010, as she welcomes Sherri Langburt, Founder of Single Edition to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show.
This week we’ll be starting the program earlier at 1pm/eastern time.
Single Edition is a lifestyle site filled with dating advice for singles: women and men of all ages who have never been married as well as those who are divorced, solo parents or suddenly single.
We are honored to have Sherri, an online dating success story, share with us some of her best dating and relationship tips for singles looking for love online.
Call in with your relationship questions on Saturday, July 31, 2010 at 1pm/ET, 11am/CT, 10am/PT at 646-929-0012 to learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.
Pepper Schwartz on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show
July 24, 2010
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert
What a fun-filled show we had with our featured guest, Dr. Pepper Schwartz on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show.
Dr. Pepper Schwartz, Chief Relationship Expert for Perfect Match, provided her dating advice and tips for singles looking for love online.
Pepper talked about her top online dating profile advice. You may wonder, how long do people look at a profile for? Pepper will tell you the answer is only :30 seconds. You’ll hear how to make the best of those split second views, learn about the introvert vs. the extrovert, as well as the 4 key similar traits from Perfect Match’s Duet Total Compatibility System.
Find out who you will be compatible with as well as what men and women are really looking for in their love lives.
Listen to the program to learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.
Cyber Love Story of the Week – Vanessa and Ray
July 16, 2010
Vanessa moved from the east coast to the suburbs of Houston a few years ago. She wanted to meet new and interesting people, but was too busy with her job at NASA and didn’t have time to enter the dating scene.
Based upon recommendations from friends, she joined the online dating site BlackPeopleMeet.com as a free member. When she saw Ray’s profile, she decided to upgrade her membership immediately to meet him.
She sent Ray, a foster parent, an email introduction. Ray responded and the communication began.
During their first lunch date, they quickly realized that they both had a lot in common. Both Vanessa and Ray had children from their previous marriages. They also both enjoyed crossword puzzles and exercising.
The two easily blended their families together and two years after their first online date, they were married.
Congratulations to Vanessa and Ray who found love online on BlackPeopleMeet.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Read More Cyber Love Stories>>>
Why People Lie in their Online Dating Profiles
July 15, 2010
Lately, more than ever, the subject of lying in one’s cyberdating profile has become a hot topic. Some have become accustomed to the age, height, and income exaggerations for the benefit of showing up in a search.
It appears that lying on your profiles never goes out of style. It’s become a bit of an epidemic. On July 29, I will be a guest on The Stars of PR with Cindy R at 7am/PT. Her radio show segment is called The Big Lie on VoiceAmerica Radio Network. Cindy contacted me as lying has become so in vogue that she wanted to do an entire segment on why singles lie to fit into a search. Just days later after confirming my show segment with Cindy Rakowitz, my friend Sam Yagan at OkCupid sent me an email with their latest statistical great post in OkTrends called The Big Lies People Tell in Online Dating. I am a big fan of OkCupid and always look forward to their blogposts.
Let’s take a deeper look at OkCupid’s findings, which are not shocking. Of course, I’ll toss my two cents in.
1. Height – Reality: People are 2 inches shorter in real life. If you have read my book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online
My first entry simply said:
WHAT THEY SAY: Male: Height 5’7″
WHAT THEY MEAN: Male: Height 5’5″
It appears things have not changed in the past few years.
2. Income – Reality: People are 20% poorer than they say they are.
OkCupid says that apparently, an online dater’s imagination is the best performing mutual fund of the last 10 years. I have to agree. More often than not, men are not putting their income on their profiles so they don’t have to see for themselves what the economy has done. Others aren’t interested in finding gold diggers. A recent online dater that I know of listed his previous salary which was 50% higher than his current income. He was in his 50s. He also said he was divorced, however he was “separated, divorce pending.” Interesting data from OkCupid.
3. Photos – REALITY: The more attractive the picture, the more likely it is to be out-of-date.
OkCupid has some terrific tricks to determine when a photo was actually taken. It’s worth taking a look at. Their findings claim that “most of the pictures on their online dating site were of recent vintage; site-wide the median photo age at upload was just 92 days. However, hotter photos were much more likely to be outdated than normal ones.”
I don’t disagree, but here’s a refreshing and amusing twist on the other side. A recent dater that I know of sat across from his attractive date and confessed the following: “I’m sorry. I’m uncomfortable. You appear too young for me.” Yes, you read this correctly. He was expecting an older woman, someone closer in age to himself or at least visually closer in age to his ex-wife, and not a woman that appeared closer in age to his daughter.
He added that, “Most women lie about their age in their profiles so I was hoping you would be older. You look younger than your photo.” Now, this isn’t the norm, but are we accustomed to being disappointed on our first dates to the fact that if you do indeed look like your profile it is a complete shock?
4. Swinging Both Ways – REALITY: 80% of self-identified bisexuals are only interested in one gender.
OkCupid claims to be a gay-friendly site and has some interesting statistics about their members in their study. The fantasy is clearly greater than the reality.
Feel free to comment and share your opinion. Do you lie on your online dating profile? Have your expectations been lowered to the point that you are in shock when someone looks like their profile and accurately represents themselves?
I hope you listen to our radio show segment on this subject on July 22, 2010.
Julie Spira is known as the Cyber-Dating Expert. She created her first online dating profile in 1994. She is the author of bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberdatingExpert.com. Follow her on Twitter @JulieSpira. Like the Fan Page
