Where to Find Love Online this Father’s Day
Just in time for Father’s Day, our friends at Match.com have come up with their Top 10 list of single dads looking for love online in three popular categories. [See infographic below]
Foodie-Dads: The online dating site polled their members and found that those men who are happy in the kitchen can be found in Scottsdale, Seattle, San Francisco, Portland and Boise.
Do-It-Yourself Dads: You won’t have to head to Home Depot alone if you’re in Spokane, Boise, Vancouver, Sarasota, or Toledo.
Sports-Crazed Dads: If you’re ready to fall for a sports fanatic or at least cheer him on, you’ll be the most successful in two cities in Arizona, Milwaukee, and Charlotte, to name a few.
When’s the most popular time for single dads to log on to look for love? According to Match’s members, early in the morning. Most men sign on from 6am – 9am, over coffee and a newspaper before they get ready for their busy day. Whitney Casey, Match.com’s relationship insider and author of The Man Plan says it’s because their testosterone level is the highest when they wake up.
The best news is that single dads are really interested in meeting women with children. With 30% of Match’s male members being single dads, newly divorced and single women with children should be able to fill their date card. Match reports that single dads are 56% more likely to email single moms than men without children. How are you planning on celebrating Father’s Day this year?
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. She creates irresistible profiles and coaches singles on the dating scene. Like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Cyber Love Story of the Week – Jesse and Curtis
On the one-year anniversary of the online dating site Cupidtino, where Apple enthusiasts, find each other, we’re happy to share one of their success stories, Jesse and Curtis.
Jesse, a woman from Northern California had initially emailed Curtis when he was in Palm Springs, CA. She noticed he was in the military and asked him what there was to do in Palm Springs in her initial email. After a few weeks, Jesse gave Curtis her personal email address so they could communicate off the site. He asked for her phone number and began communicating with her regularly.
Their first date was at a Starbucks, where they met in the middle with their MacBooks in tow. They continued their date for the weekend wine tasting, visiting Hearst Castle, and their love affair began.
After eight months from when they first started communicating, including the time when Curtis was stationed in Japan, he was discharged and moved to Silicon Valley to be with his sweetheart.
Congratulations to Jesse and Curtis, our Cyber Love Story of the Week, who kept their love of Apple at the top of the list while looking for love online and didn’t let distance get in the way. And of course, congratulations to Cupidtino on celebrating their one-year anniversary as an Internet dating site.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Read More Cyber Love Stories>>>
Online Dating – Is Honesty the Best Policy?
I recently attended a swanky party in Beverly Hills and met a lovely single woman who said she had to talk to me about her online dating profile. Naturally, I was ready to hear what her secret was.
She boasted about how she had written the most creative and best profile of anyone on Match.com. She went into great details about how she listed everything that was unacceptable in a man and that if he had any of these personality traits, they shouldn’t bother writing to her.
After listening to her enthusiasm about a profile filled with negativity, I asked the million dollar question, “Did you lie about your age?” Her response was an immediate yes. She claimed, as many singles do, that she looked so much younger than her real age and took six years off her age to fit into a search. When I asked her how long she had been looking for love online, she responded that she hadn’t been in a relationship for six years.
Obviously her personal digital marketing plan wasn’t working. She had never been married and was almost 60 years old. She agreed to a critique and was ready for some dating tips.
Sure, she went to one of the top dermatologists in town. Sure, she wore designer labels and dressed to impress the women who would recognize them. At the end of the day, she was inauthentic and still single.
I offered to critique her profile and made some subtle changes. She listed her dream life, one where she wanted a man to financially support her and proudly claimed she was high maintenance. It wasn’t the life she was living yet, and her inbox wasn’t filled with male suitors ready to sign up. She stated in her first sentence that she was great looking. Men are visual. They will decide upon viewing your profile photo if they are attracted to you or not. Stating it in the first sentence appeared conceited to most men who viewed her photo and most of them moved on.
I share these true stories with you because authenticity is sexy. Being authentic translates to being confident and happy. Where you are now is just fine. Keep your dreams, but portray yourself in your profile as approachable, realistic and human. I encourage all of you who feel you need to lie in your profile about your age, weight, or financial status to toss that belief out the digital window. You are just perfect, the way you are. It’s time for some truth-in-advertising and for you to really find love online.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com. Like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert for dating advice and follow her at Twitter.com/JulieSpira
Peril of the Week – Advanced Warning Issued
It started out as an email sent from a man in New York who was a member of a popular online dating site. The recipient, an attractive intelligent single female shared the introductory email with some of her friends on Facebook, myself included. She wanted to know if she should go out with the man with the red flags. At first she thought it was hilarious. I told her not to go. Her curiosity got the best of her, so without further adieu, here’s an example of a date destined to go bad.
His first email appeared to be a “cut and paste” to many filled with a negative attitude. It read as follows:
“This may sound rude/odd but…what’s wrong with you? I have found there has to be a catch if I come across a cute, seemingly intelligent, well manner girl on this site.”
“I have tried this online dating thing for a while and to be honest… IT SUCKS!!!
“In the last month or so, I have been: stood up three times, canceled on at the last minute, met a girl who started to make out with another random guy at the bar while I watched, found out mid-date that the girl was inky 21 when her profile said she was 29, had a girl tell me how she is still in love with her ex, been told the day after a first date that she was getting back with her fiancé, but would love to use me for sex and my favorite…told that I was part of a “30 dates with 30 guys in 30 days” dare and that I had no shot. Fun times, right????”
“Now…based on the fact that you seem pretty awesome and the fact that I am apparently not cool enough to have plans on what should be a beautiful Friday night…How would you feel about being totally spontaneous and meeting me this evening? (who knows we might even like each other and get to make out?)”
“Now, I know you may want to email back and forth for days and then build up all this excitement hoping you found “the one”…but…I have found that usually leads to disappointment and then possibly therapy and sadness, right? Let’s skip all that nonsense and meet right away…OK? It will save us the let-down in the long run.”
“Now if you call/text/email, we can have possibly the blindest of dates…(assuming you don’t stand me up) or we can flirt via text from now until we do meet and build up expectations. Your choice, but first, please warn me about what is wrong with you so I know going into this that there will be little surprise!
”
With an email like this, I would have done one of two things. Either deleted it without response and forgotten about it, or send an email saying “No thank you. Best of luck with your search.”
Comments from her friends included, “Just be careful” to “This is hilarious. Go and report back to us.” I explained that it was a mass email sent to many other women and told her not to go. Online dating safety is a hot button for me. I had a bad feeling about this from reading just the first sentence of his email. I thought she should use her time wisely and find a man who is positive, emotionally healthy and worthy of her. I told her to do her homework, Google his email and phone number to find out more about him if she really wanted to pursue this. I had a bad feeling. I was told that I was too serious and that this was hilarious.
She did indeed go on a date with him, which was a disaster. She said she should have known that he was going to be crazy. After resfusing to tell him where she worked or lived, he left her in the bar. That would have been fine if it was over, but it wasn’t. He started to send her mean and nasty text messages. She asked him not to contact her again, and he said “no.”
Not only does this date qualify for The Peril of the Week, but it’s a warning message to spot the red flags and remember how to date safely. Don’t give out your home or work address, create a separate phone number on Google voice so you can change it if you continue to get harassed by a date gone badly, and trust your intuition. Listen to your friends if they are concerned about you. There are many wonderful singles looking for love online, but if you come across a situation or profile like this, report it to the Internet dating site you met on.
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Send your submissions and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Cyber Love Story of the Week – Kristina and Tom
Kristina was on Match.com for about four weeks when she met Tom.
“I had been messaging with a few other guys and met only one other in person. When I received Tom’s first message I just had to respond,” said Kristina.
Tom’s message read something like this:
“Hi, I am looking for a good looking girl who doesn’t talk, has lots of ex-boyfriend drama and only eats salad at dinner. From your picture I see you are good looking and noticed you are a Mets fan, which is a bonus. Let me know if you are interested. If not, good luck in life and stuff. –TOM”
“When I clicked onto his profile his main quote said, “Three Words: NO BACK HAIR.” I have a weakness for cute, funny guys and he had me at that. Then I went on to read his absolutely ridiculous bio which was all made up, but very well written! I was laughing so hard and messaged him back right away,” added Kristina.
Their relationship worked right from the beginning and instantly clicked. The two were engaged nine months from their first date. Tom’s proposal was perfect and sentimental.
“The beach had always played an important role in my family’s life from the time my parents met at Jones Beach in the 1976,” said Kristina.
She added, “My father passed away on July 25, 1996. The year following his death, we held a memorial service for him at the beach where he would fish every weekend. On July 25, 2009, my mom, stepdad, my brother, his girlfriend, Tom and I went to the same beach where my dad fished so we can share the moment with them.”
Little did she know, but Tom had a marriage proposal all planned out and the moment her mom said, “let me get a picture of you two,” that was his cue to get on one knee. Tom began his proposal with, “I know you wanted your family to be here for this moment and I wanted to make sure your dad was a part of it as well.” He then continued to say, “so, do you want to do this?”
Kristina and Tom will be getting married on July 22, 2011—the exact date her parents would have been celebrating their 33rd wedding anniversary.
Congratulations to Kristina and Tom, our Cyber Love Story of the Week couple who found love online on Match.com
Do you have an online dating story to share?
Read More Cyber Love Stories>>>
eHarmony’s Valentine’s Advice – Ask the Cyber Dating Expert Show
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert
What an honor and pleasure it was to feature eHarmony on the Valentine’s edition of Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Show.
Dr. Gian Gonzaga, Senior director of research and development took time from his busy media schedule and book tour for this exclusive 30-minute radio interview.
Find out his online dating tips and relationship advice for Valentine’s. We know it’s stressful and your expectations are high.
You’ll hear about their new book the eHarmony Guide to Dating the Second Time Around and we’ve got 10 signed copies that we’re giving away on Facebook, so I hope you like us to enter to win.
We talked about when and how to introduce your children in your new relationship, what makes a good date, and if you should say “I Love You” on Valentine’s Day for the first time.
You’ll be surprised to find out that both men and women want the same three things.
Here’s the list:
1. Funny
2. Smart
3. Adaptable
Did you notice that sexy and hot aren’t on this list? So ladies, be flexible and enjoy the show!
Win an Autographed Copy of the new eHarmony Book
As part of our Irresistible Valentine’s Celebration and in anticipation of Dr. Gian Gonzaga’s appearance on Ask the Cyber Dating Expert Show, 10 lucky readers and listeners will win a signed copy of the eHarmony Guide to Dating the Second Time Around.
If you’re looking for a love that lasts, you’ll want to participate in this fun contest. All you need to do is Like our page on Facebook, and comment on the wall about your most romantic Valentine’s Date ever. Winners will be selected daily from now until Valentine’s Day.
Don’t forget to tune in to Ask the Cyber Dating Expert Show on Saturday, February 12, 2011 at 2pm/EST, 11am/PST at blogtalkradio.com/cyberdatingexpert.
Join in on the fun, share your online dating stories and win a rare autographed copy of Dr. Gian Gonzaga’s book during our Irresistible Online Dating Celebration.
*Winners will be notified privately and must be in the continental U.S.
Valentine’s Edition of Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Show with eHarmony
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert
Join me for a very special edition of Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show where my guest will be Dr. Gian Gonzaga, Ph.D, senior director of research and development at eHarmony.
Gian is the editor of the new book, the eHarmony Guide to Dating the Second Time Around
“This book aims to help you understand yourself better and equip you with all the tools needed to find a relationship that’s better, stronger and more satisfying that your last,” commented Dr. Gonzaga.
“As the director of eHarmony Labs I’ve come across many people looking for love again after a divorce, bereavement or the end of a long term relationship. The people we meet in our labs are often ready to find love again but are unsure about where to start or how best to put themselves ‘out there’.“
Tune in on Saturday, February 12, 2011 at 2 pm/EST, 11am/PST to learn more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.
eHarmony Becomes More Social With New Activity Feed Feature
In a plan to continue to be more social media friendly, eHarmony has just announced their new service called “Your New Activity Feed” to help you while looking for love online.
Broken down into four simple categories including Communication, Photo Updates, Profile Updates, and Who’s Viewed Me, users can enhance their experience by seeing who is active on the site. Some of these features are in line with Facebook profiles, which online daters are so accustomed to. The new photo updates will always pique someone’s curiosity. Knowing that someone recently viewed your profile gives you a quick advantage to responding to someone who is more likely to want to communicate with you. (see photo screen shot).
In their email, eHarmony provided a “Quick Tip,” which I’ve been teaching singles for quite some time now. “If you want a great way to get your matches to take a second look at you, update your profile or post your latest photos and you will go to the top of their feed.” Refresh and renew your profile if you want to have more success with Internet dating.
In honor of Valentine’s month, eHarmony is offering their free guided communication service through the end of February. Click the link below to sign up and take advantage of their special offer.
Get to know your matches better with FREE Guided Communication at eHarmony through February!
New Year, New Online Dating Profile
It’s the New Year’s resolution for many singles. You make a commitment to making finding love a priority. Perhaps you had a lonely New Year’s or the thought of Valentine’s Day will result in singles taking action with their love lives.
As good as the intentions are, like many resolutions, after a few weeks it moves down on the list of daily activities. I’m here to let you know that now is the time for you to revisit online dating and more specifically, create a new irresistible online dating profile.
Why should this stay on the top of your list? Forget the holiday pressures and red candy hearts. The period from New Year’s through Valentine’s Day is when singles will either join an online dating site for the first time, or renew their membership. Just like refreshing your Facebook profile with new photos and new updates, you need to keep your online dating profile fresh instead of the stagnant profile you once had.
Here are some easy-to-follow and keep New Year’s resolutions for singles looking for love online:
1. Narrow down your search. Do your friends complain that you are too picky? Have they stopped fixing you up? There’s nothing wrong with knowing exactly what you want in a relationship. Remember, no one really gets it all. We are an imperfect society. Make a list of what is most important to you. Number it from 1-10. Now, focus on the first 3 items on your list. Is it Religion? Bicycling? Hiking? Strolling through museums? Put those key words in your search. You might be delighted to see who pops up.
2. Reach out and reconnect. Did you get too busy during the year and miss out on meeting someone you started to communicate with online? Take a look in your Inbox and see if they still have an active online dating profile. Reach out and send an email with a simple, “Happy New Year.” If their profile is still online, assume they haven’t met “the one” yet. It may be a time for a new beginning for both of you.
3. Refresh your profile. If you are satisfied with the online dating profile you currently have, change the order of your sentences or add something new and exciting that you’re looking forward to doing. Perhaps it’s an upcoming vacation or seeing one of your favorite bands in concert. As a result, your profile will become refreshed and chances are will show up higher in a search.
If you need some extra handholding, I will work with you privately to create an irresistible online dating profile complete with a catchy screen name to stand out in the crowded digital playing field. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for more details or contact me at CyberDatingExpert.com/contact
Let’s make this year the one you really find the love you are looking for.
Facebook
GooglePlus
Twitter
LinkedIn
