Woman’s Day Guide to Online Dating

Woman’s Day just published their guide to online dating. Both eHarmony’s Gian Gonzaga and myself were featured in their guide.

They listed 12 important dating and relationship tips to be successful while looking for love online. Just how many people should you date at once? What are the keys to a successful Internet dating profile? Which are the most popular sites to try?

Read the article for the answers to these questions and to improve your odds to make your online dating experience more enjoyable.

Click here to read article>>>

Los Angeles Times – Make it personal, keep it real

There’s an abundance of expert dating advice for the long Valentine’s Day weekend to help you find love online beyond February. Whitney Friedlander from the Los Angeles Times wrote an excellent article featuring expert advice on how to write an online dating profile to get the best response.

I provided expert my advice and tips for the article on how to create a successful online profile.

“Keep profiles brief and specific. Leave the novel at home. Long, drawn-out profiles and sob stories don’t belong on an online dating site. Use a catchy screen name. For instance, I use PianoBaby and Paperback Writer. It makes it easy for a man to approach me because they have something to say. Don’t put pictures of you and your pets or children. Don’t post party photos — a picture of a man and his buddy might confuse the person looking at the profile [who would wonder] who the right person is in the photo.”

–Julie Spira, author of CyberDatingExpert.com and the book “The Perils of Cyber-Dating”

The article includes other tips from Match.com, eHarmony, Online Personals Watch, Plenty of Fish, and Spark Networks, owner of JDate.

Click here to read full article

The Valentine’s Day Cut Off Rule

It’s now 5 days before Valentine’s Day. The Super Bowl memories are starting to fade. Have you asked your date to be your Valentine yet? If not, are you aware that there is a “cut-off” rule for when to solidify who you will be spending February 14th with?

If you have watched Curb Your Enthusiasm, you might recall that Larry discussed the cut-off rule in an episode. They determined 9:30-10:00pm for the cut-off time to phone a friend. It became a heated discussion. The same theory applies to Valentine’s Day.

In my online dating book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, one of my rules of netiquette was the cut-off rule. This rule applied to the most common misrepresentation in an online dating profile – the accuracy of your age . Although I believe in authenticity, I had decided that 5-10 years was the maximum amount of years that you could take off your age in your profile. I added that you need to be honest in the body of your email, on the phone, or certainly the latest by the first-date. I don’t promote lying on your profile, I just know that many singles want to fit into a search.

So, getting back to Valentine’s Day. When is it too late to ask the woman you are dating out for Sunday night?  Here’s my relationship advice. I took a poll during the Super Bowl and most men felt they could wait until the last day, if there was chemistry with someone they had just met. I disagreed. I told them, one week maximum, and that once the Super Bowl was over, it was time to put the date in ink on the calendar and get whatever remaining reservations were available at such a late date.

Think about it. Most restaurants book up a month in advance of Valentine’s Day. There will be slim pickings. You can always bring food home and set the table with fine china and candles, but it won’t be the same. If you are waiting until the last minute, don’t be surprised to find your date has made other plans. A smart, confident woman doesn’t wait around for the phone to ring. She’d rather be alone than be an afterthought.  If you have made Valentine’s plans and have a change of heart, don’t go down in history as the guy or girl who cancels on her Valentine’s date the week of because something better came along. It will come back to haunt you. If you are gearing up for this romantic day, logging into your online dating profile on a regular basis during the days leading to Valentine’s may get you in the “dog house.” It certainly won’t get you into the bedroom.

With or without a date, my advice is to try and enjoy Valentine’s Day and be open to the possibilities of love. It may arrive on time, or it may be late. If you are really interested in pursuing someone romantically, don’t forget Valentine’s Day. If so, be prepared that your calls won’t be returned.

Julie Spira is known world wide as the Cyber-Dating Expert. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com

Dating Expert David Wygant on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show

Listen to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show with a rare conversation with dating expert David Wygant and cyber-dating expert Julie Spira.

David provided his dating advice for Valentine’s Day for both men and women with some suggestions on how to create a romantic date by thinking out of the box.

You’ll hear why you shouldn’t say “I love you” for the first time on Valentine’s Day and what David thinks of Valentine’s marriage proposals.

If your relationship is one month or less, you will want to listen to this show to make sure that your date is one to remember.

We talked about telling the truth in your online dating profile and why “39″ is the most popular age for singles looking for love online, and more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 World.

Cyber Love Story of the Week – Amanda and Ryan

Amanda’s roommate, eager to date, wanted to join Match.com.  However, she preferred to have Amanda join with her – safety in numbers, she thought.  Amanda originally declined. She had no interest in online dating.  Fast-forward two weeks later,   when Amanda’s roommate confessed that she secretly had put up an online dating profile for her without her knowledge.

After the shock had passed, Amanda went to her account to cancel it.  Out of curiosity she peeked at the five guys that Match had selected for her.  One of them was pretty cute and she couldn’t resist sending him a quick email.  The next week Amanda and met Ryan for coffee.  They began to date and the more time they spent together, the better it got!

After a year of dating, Amanda left to volunteer in Africa for three months.  With very little access to email, phone, or other forms of communication, this time apart was something that was going to make or break their relationship.  Amanda knew when Ryan never tried to convince her to stay and was fully supportive of her dreams, he was the one.  The week before her trip, Ryan road his bike on a century ride and raised over $6,000 to support the children Amanda was going to help.  After surviving this time apart, Amanda moved in with Ryan on her return.  They have lived together for 3 years – including a move from Orange County to New York City and then back to California where they both now reside in Los Angeles.  Upon their return to LA, they took a hike.  Ryan then asked Amanda to marry him.

The couple will be married in September in an intimate ceremony with family in Jackson, Wyoming in September 2010.

Congratulations to Amanda and Ryan, our Cyber Love Story of the Week from your friends at CyberDatingExpert.com

Click here for more Cyber Love Stories

Oprah.com – Online Dating: The Dos, The Don’ts, The Musts plus a Smile

Lesley Dorman wrote a terrific article on Oprah.com about online dating.

By carefully crafting her online dating profile 12 years ago, she met and married her husband.

Besides the obvious suggestions of making sure you have a terrific profile photo and tell your accurate age, Dorman suggests that you put on your lipstick, wear your favorite outfit, and feel sexy while writing your Internet dating ad.  She came up with 9 suggestions. I am adding #10 – Smile.

Smile when you are writing your profile, smile when you are reading the emails from your male suitors, and smile if you get lucky enough to graduate to a phone call and meet in person.

One of the biggest compliments I have received from men online is that they were drawn to my smile. This first impression is a lasting one. Even on a date, a gentleman will tell me how he enjoys seeing me smile.

Thank you Lesley for sharing your tips and your success in finding love online.

Click here to read more on Oprah.com

Julie Spira is known worldwide as The Cyber-Dating Expert. She is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com

Cyber Dating Tips for Valentine’s Day

Welcome to February. It’s officially the month of love.

If you are feeling the pressure, don’t fret. Here are some online dating tips to help you get through the month of February.

How many Valentine’s Dates Should You Have?

Valentine’s Day is on a Sunday this year. In addition, Monday is a legal holiday in the U.S. so it becomes a three day weekend for many. Does that mean that you should have three dates on your calendar if you are single?

I happen to believe that three is a lucky number. If you aren’t in an exclusive relationship and your online dating profile is still up, there’s no reason NOT to ask three women out or accept more than one invitation over the course of the weekend.

Your Online Dating Profile

If your online dating profile is still active and you have your date(s) lined up for the weekend, I suggest that you don’t visit your online dating site in the days leading up to Valentine’s. It might take the romance out of your date if he or she notices your activity level.

Dine in, or Dine Out

Make sure you make your dining reservations early. Some of the best restaurants get booked in full in January. If you can’t get a restaurant reservation, dining at home with take-out food on fine china by candlelight makes a nice alternative to expensive dining. If you don’t have time to call around, go to OpenTable.com to see what’s available in your neighborhood and price range.

Valentine’s Gift Giving

When it comes to gift-giving on Valentine’s Day, it can be a bit tricky. Being over extravagant early on in your relationship might scare someone away.

If you are wondering what kind of gift you should give your date,  stop by your local Hallmark store and pick up an appropriate card for your Valentine and a box of chocolate. One simple rose for her will make a nice addition to the evening. For the man in your life, stop by Whole Foods and pick up a chocolate lollypop that says, “You’re My Hero” for $4.00. You’ll find them both melting in your arms. If your relationship is new, find a card that is witty and humorous.

If you have moved into an exclusive relationship and want to impress him or her, stop by Tiffany & Co. where they have a selection of Valentine’s Gifts. Their Elsa Peretti® Color by the Yard bracelet in sterling silver with a pink sapphire is priced at $175. They have a full page of gifts for under $100. For him, Engine-turned oval cuff links in sterling silver are priced at $150.

The Morning After

Take advantage of the holiday if you can. If your date involves an overnight stay, having breakfast in bed together will be a nice way to end the weekend, but only if you aren’t book for a lunch date with another suitor.

Still Dateless?

If Valentine’s arrives and you don’t have a date, don’t fret. There’s nothing worse than pretending to enjoy a very expensive evening. During the daytime if you are in Los Angeles, I will be speaking along with Dr. Pat Allen, author of “Getting to I Do” at The Second Sunday Series of An Empowered Woman. For the evening, find another single friend and go to a movie or stay in and read a book. If there are any singles events in your area, sign up and meet other singles. It’s not the end of the world and before you know it, spring fever will be in season.

Julie Spira is known world-wide as The Cyber-Dating Expert. She is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com

True.com on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show

Listen to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio show, where Herb Vest, CEO and Founder of the online dating site True.com talked about the 6 True compatibiilty tests.

Some of the tests include:

• Communication Test
• Personality Test
• Interests Test
• Sexploration Test
• Romance Test

Find out which compatibility test is the most popular and learn about their safety policies to ensure that Internet dating is a safe place for singles.

Herb gave his dating tips for creating a successful online dating profile.

Learn more about dating in a Web 2.0 World.

Ask the Cyber Dating Expert – Advice for the Newly Divorced

I recently met a young woman whose divorce papers were final last week. She needed some dating advice as to how to start over post-divorce. With the new year, she should be celebrating and getting ready for a new beginning. At 27, she is considering online dating for the very first time. She would like to get married and have children, but thought the stigma of saying she was divorced in her 20s would scare the men away.

She asked, “Is it too soon to start dating again?” “Will someone want to have a relationship with a divorced woman in her 20s.” “Should I say I’m single on my profile as my marriage was brief?”

“Where do I begin?”

Newly Single – Los Angeles

Dear Newly Single,

It’s natural to feel insecure when the dream of your perfect marriage was shattered.

What are you waiting for?  It’s time to hop back on that cyber-dating saddle. With the divorce rates above 50% in the state of California, you are in the majority.You need to be authentic in your online dating profile and say you are divorced and post some terrific photos.  It’s a new year and time for a new beginning. Since you want to have a family, I suggest you state in your profile that you want to get married and have children. Don’t worry about scaring away men who aren’t interested in marriage. They will be doing you a favor by not responding to you.

Good luck with your search.

Julie Spira

If you have a dating question for Julie Spira, please send them to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact

Tom Miller and Your Tango on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show

Listen to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show with my featured guest Tom Miller– the voice behind Tomfoolery on YourTango.com.

Learn about Your Tango – a community for love, sex, dating and relationship advice.

Find out what Tom thinks about Internet dating including:

• Should women pursuing men online
• When to take down your online dating profile
• The BIG ultimatum
• Changing your Facebook status
• Breaking up via text messaging.

You’ll hear this and more about dating, love and romance in a Web 2.0 world on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show with Julie Spira.

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