Over 25 years ago, Patience had a serious crush on Sam.
She knew him the class clown and the wildly popular senior who always found new ways to be in the spotlight.
By contrast, Patience was quiet and considered more of a wallflower. She thought that Sam was “out of her league.” They two never dated and barely acknowledged each other in the halls. During a formal dance, after her date had ditched her, Patience was shocked when Sam asked her to dance and pulled her into a random picture. They still have that picture.
Twenty-six years went by. Sam got married and then divorced. He lived in Israel, where he was teaching college and high school French. Meanwhile in New York, Patience had gone into publishing and had serial-dated for two decades. She was 41-yeats-old and thought she was completely over the New York dating scene, which she jokingly refers to as “buffet dating.”
In August 2009, in the “Suggested Friends” section on Facebook, Sam noticed “the little redhead” as one of his options and “friended” Patience immediately. For Patience, it was a no-brainer to be in contact with such a popular person from high school. She started flirting on Facebook by “liking” his morose status updates. Finally, Sam picked up the phone and called her. Their first phone conversation lasted for over two hours.
One Facebook friendship and three months of Skype dates later convinced them there was something there. He asked if he could visit and possibly “marry and father her children.” Patience said all of her girlfriends thought she was crazy, but she knew there was a connection between them.
On December 17, 2009, Sam uprooted himself to go west and saw Patience for the first time in twenty-six years. He ended up staying in New York. On their first visit to his father’s house in Miami, Sam dug out the original picture of them, which he’d kept all these years. They were married on January 16, 2011 and live in New York.
Congratulations to Patience and Sam, our featured couple in Facebook Love Stories.
Do you know someone who fell in love on Facebook?
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and FacebookLoveStories.com. For online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert. For Facebook dating advice, follow @FBLoveStories on Twitter and their Facebook Page
In the continuing coverage of Manti Te’o and other daters who’ve been duped by online dating romance hoaxes, Katie Couric featured an entire episode of online dating safety with tips on what you need to know, while looking for love online.
On the Katie Show, we learned that online dating sites get more than 500 million clicks per month. Katie added that and 81% of people lie on their profiles.
To add a little entertainment to the serious topic of Internet dating safety, Katie polled her studio audience with three relevant dating deal-breaker questions that most female online daters could relate to.
Dating Deal-Breaker 1
Katie: “He’s talk dark and handsome. In real life he’s short and stout. Is that a deal breaker or not?”
Audience: 69% said Yes. 31% said No.
Dating Deal-Breaker 2
Katie: “His profile says his picture was from last week. Reality: It was from 1972. Is that a deal breaker or not?”
Audience: 71% said Yes. 29% said No.
Dating Deal-Breaker 3
Katie: “His profile says, ‘Filthy Rich.” Reality, he’s Dead Broke.”
Audience: 58% said Yes. 32% said No.
For more online dating safety tips from the Katie show, visit KatieCouric.com.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for the Weekly Flirt newsletter and join the conversation at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Meet Chanel and Brandon who met online on POF.com.
Chanel was immediately intrigued by Brandon’s sense of humor. They soon started chatting online for hours, laughing, and getting to know each other.
Brandon was instantly enamored with Chanel’s outgoing and fun personality, and knew right away that she was someone he had to get to know.
When their first date at a comedy club rolled around, they hit it off effortlessly, and an online spark immediately turned into a real-life connection. Soon enough, Brandon was asking for permission to propose, and presented her with a diamond ring made from his grandmother’s, and they were engaged.
Brandon and Chanel remember their wedding day on July 21, 2012 as a completely magical affair. Because they met online, they selected a Plentyoffish theme throughout to celebrate their love for the color blue! The couple also performed a Korean tea ceremony called Pae-Baek, in which each family welcomes the new member with blessings and words of wisdom. The pair further paid tribute to their families by wearing Chanel’s mother and father’s original wedding bands.
After overcoming obstacles together including unemployment, family health scares, and even entering in “Tough Mudder”, a brutal obstacle-style 12 mile race designed by Navy Seals, the couple is looking forward to traveling and starting a family together!
Congratulations to Chanel and Brandon who found love online on Plenty of Fish.
Share your Cyber Love Story with us!
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
With online dating, we’ve been told it’s all about the photo, as both men and women are visual.
Today, our friends at OkCupid have launched their Crazy Blind Date mobile app, where you go back to the basics of when your grandmother fixed you up, along with a technology twist.
In honor of the launch, you’ll feel a bit naked when you log on to OkCupid today, as the site celebrates “Love is Blind Day.” OkCupid has removed all ten million photos on their members’ profiles to create awareness of their new app.
Sam Yagan, OkCupid founder and Cyber-Dating Expert friend says, “People will say that Crazy Blind Date is too crazy.” He adds, “But for a whole generation of young singles, it’s going to be a great adventure, and a great compliment to online dating.”
One thing we know for sure, is that mobile dating does speed up the process to meet someone IRL. In our recent Mobile Dating BootCamp, several of the participants used OkCupid’s mobile app and other mobile dating apps to try to find love from the convenience of their mobile phones. This app could help you if you’re looking for a last minute date or don’t want to be dateless on Valentine’s Day.
OkCupid says that Crazy Blind Date takes less than a minute of work:
- Download the Crazy Blind Date app for iPhone or Android
- Choose which nights this week you want to go on dates.
- Pick your favorite bar or coffee shop.
- Go on with your day; Crazy Blind Date does the rest.
Users are encouraged to share their dates on Twitter with the hashtag of #CrazyBlindDate and fees for the dates will apply.
Are you ready to go back to blind dating?
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She’s the host of Online Dating BootCamp and Mobile Dating BootCamp. Julie creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @Juliespira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Meet Nicole and Gerald from Chesapeake, VA, who met just over 6 years ago on eHarmony.
If you haven’t heard the big news, this romantic couple will be getting married on New Year’s Day on the 2013 Rose Parade as they cruise through Pasadena on the Farmers Insurance “Love Float.”
Although Nicole and Gerald went to the same high school in Virginia, Gerald didn’t know that Nicole had a secret crush on him. Ten years later, they were matched on eHarmony, when they gave online dating a try.
Gerald said he knew Nicole was the one for him on their first date, as she walked into the room and gave him a big hug. Nicole loves the fact that Gerald loves her and accepts her for who she is.
Nicole and Gerald were voted in in the Farmers Insurance Dream Wedding promotion. You can watch them get married in front of 52 million television viewers at the 2013 Rose Parade on New Year’s Day.
Congratulations to Nicole and Gerald, our Cyber Love Story of the Week who will be starting their lives together as a married couple in a wedding to remember.
It’s peak season for Internet dating. Will Nicole and Gerald be an inspiration to you, that you too, can find love on the Internet?
Share your Cyber Love Story with us!
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and host of Mobile Dating BootCamp. For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and Follow @JulieSpira.
It was a joy and honor to be a guest with Marc Cohen and Marsha Collier on Computer & Technology Radio Show to talk about the latest trends in online dating.
From niche sites such as Farmer’s Only and Stache Passions to household names of eHarmony, OkCupid, and Match.com, find out which singles are really logging into Internet dating sites. We also talked about the huge trend of mobile dating, which is becoming more-and-more popular every day.
If you’re looking for a date for the holidays, find out the best ways to create an irresistible profile worth catching his or her eye.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace this holiday, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert, bestselling author, and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and is the host of Online Dating BootCamp. For more dating advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
One night over Thanksgiving while visiting her family and was bored, she got a glass of wine and began to peruse the human MLS listing. In this, was match.com.
Judy only dipped a half a toe in to online dating, as she posted a profile with no information and no picture. After looking through a myriad of pictures of men in her area from 55-65, she decided that online dating wasn’t for her. She felt that all of the profiles seemed the same. Before she turned off her laptop, Judy noticed one man’s profile which caught her eye. Kenny had a big smile, curly blond hear, and was wearing a baseball jacket from her favorite team.
Judy laughed at reading Kenny’s humorous profile. However, Kenny had stated in bold letters, “DO NOT REPLY IF YOU DON’T HAVE A PICTURE,” proving once again that men are visual.
Judy decided to send him a cordial email to tell him that although she had no picture she just wanted to tell him what a funny profile he had. Kenny’s headline said, “I’m looking for someone who colored outside the lines.”
Judy told him that she colored outside the lines professionally, as she was an artist. Upon receiving Judy’s email, Kenny laughed at her remark and wrote her back. Judy was sure she was not ready to date and was only writing to pass the time while she was away on vacation. The two exchanged several emails and much to both their surprise, agreed to meet when Judy returned to town. Kenny still had no idea what Judy looked like, so when Judy returned, they had their first date and spent 5 hours together having coffee. It was “like” at first sight for both of them.. After six months, they decided to move in together and have been a couple for one year.
Both Judy and Kenny colored outside their lines and didn’t close the door when Kenny viewed Judy’s empty profile or when Judy was sure she was not ready to date yet.
It’s amazing what can happen when you follow your intuition, break your own rules, and open your heart.
Congratulations to Judy and Kenny, our Cyber Love Story of the Week couple.
Do you have a Cyber Love Story to to share?
Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and host of Mobile Dating BootCamp. For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Recently on MensFitness.com, I was asked to chime in on some of the huge mistakes both men and women were making in their online dating profiles. As an online dating expert and one who has studied the industry since its infancy, the list could have easily jumped to 50 items. Meredith Bodgas selected her top 10 favorites for the story, 10 Little Ways to Kill Your Online Dating Game. We were glad to contribute to the story.
1. DON’T include a laundry list of turnoffs in your profile.
No one wants to date a guy who’s too judgmental. Instead, mention the traits you do want in a girlfriend. You’ll seem way less negative.
2. DON’T Say you want a “drama-free” woman.
It’s a cliché that will not only turn a woman off, but it sends the message that you’ve got excess baggage regarding your ex. Most women will realize you have unresolved issues from past relationships and probably take a pass. Instead, stick to naming the positive qualities you seek in a mate or a date.
3. DON’T Mention sex in your profile.
Include that, and the ladies may think that you’re looking for a hook up. Worried you’ll wind up with a prude? Don’t. Women know that intimacy’s part of the package if the relationship moves forward.
4. DON’T Start IMing right away.
Many women don’t like receiving IMs from men whose profiles they haven’t read yet. So start the dialogue with an e-mail to give her a chance to check out your details. And hold off on IMing until you’ve exchanged a few e-mails. It’s a digital courtship and you need to know the rules to play the game and win.
5. DON’T Tell a woman she’s hot.
Focusing on the physical makes a woman feel you’re not interested in getting to know the real her. Mention something else you admired about her profile if you want your email to be taken seriously.
6. DON’T Wait too long to ask her out.
I believe you should take your relationship from online to offline after a few e-mails, otherwise, you’ll end up with a digital pen-pal, which isn’t quite the point of online dating. If there’s chemistry after one phone chat, set a date to meet in person.
Do you have an online dating story to share? Share your Success Stories to be featured in our Cyber Love Story of the Week and let us know about your bad dates in our Peril of the Week.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Our friends at We Love Dates have contributed a guest blog on a serial dating condition which many are sadly suffering from called, “Online Dating Addiction.”
Most people sign up for an online dating site with clear intentions – they want to meet someone wonderful and get offline as fast as possible. Many go into it as a quick fix, and they wouldn’t fathom someone would choose to stay online rather than go live happily ever after in the real world; but it happens all too often.
With Internet dating, your choices and options are endless. Some men and women think they can do just a little bit better with the next click. If a woman is looking for a 6-foot tall man with a great career who likes sushi, chances are her search results may reveal fifteen or more men who might meet her criteria in their neighborhood. Why settle for one of the bunch when you can try them all out, so to speak?
Digital dating is a double-edged sword. Having a multitude of options and choices at your fingertips is one of the very best things about online dating and why so many are huge advocates of finding love on the Internet. However, it can become a slippery slope and form a condition called, online dating addiction. The trouble starts when someone becomes obsessed with checking their online dating in-box and craves virtual attention to the point of letting it control them. It’s one thing to be excited to log on; it’s quite another to put your job or relationships with friends and family in jeopardy because you obsessively log on every fifteen minutes.
Another common issue associated with online dating addiction is a user’s inability to commit to someone in the “real world” because they don’t want to lose the chance of finding someone “better” online. Addicted to the thrill of the hunt and driven by a personal challenge, they become terrified they are going to miss out on someone a few clicks away, and subsequently their real world relationship begins to suffer. So that 6 foot tall sushi lover, for example; well-what if there is another guy who is 6’2 who makes just a bit more money? The options are endless…sometimes, unfortunately.
All of these options can make it nearly impossible to focus on the person who is right in front of you because your mind is always playing a game of “Who else can I get?” There is a difference between defining what you want in a date or partner and being completely unrealistic that you’re going to find someone who is the absolutely most perfect person for you, especially when your definition of perfect keeps changing. As a result, some singles spend their lives looking for someone who probably doesn’t exist.
If you find yourself displaying any warning signs of online dating addiction, it might be time to take a break and cut the virtual cord temporarily. In a world filled with so many options, sometimes it’s best to step back and reflect on what is truly important to you. Remember that people are more than just their shiny, perfectly composed profiles and that when it comes to true love, your options shouldn’t be endless. Online dating should be the means to an end, not the main attraction.
Liz is the social media manager for We Love Dates, a worldwide online dating site. She’s battled online dating addiction and won. For more dating advice and tips, visit the popular We Love Dates blog.
Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert, bestselling author, and CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Photo credit: Stuart Miles – Fotolia.com
As we say goodbye to August and get ready for Labor Day Weekend, it’s time to share some of our favorite dating advice stories on the web and tweets we loved on Twitter this week.
On Glamour, they have a list of fun and flirty things to do on Labor Day weekend, so check it out. Our friends at We Love Dates and Your Tango posted an article that both men and women can relate to, Why You Shouldn’t Say ‘I Love You’ Too Soon. Just how soon is too soon? Follow your heart and wait a little while longer. Mashable brought us the news that the Are Your Interested mobile app has embraced social discovery. This will be our topic at SxSW. Have you voted yet and given us a thumbs up? Click here to vote.
On Huffington Post, Bianca Bosker wrote an article about a new Facebook Report that lets you know how many of your friends are single. Curiosity killed the digital cat and I couldn’t resist. It’s filled with a whole lot of data, some which you just might want to keep to yourselves. How About We’s Date Report featured a great article, Do This When You Get Dumped, Says Science. Cyber-Dating Expert friend and Elle columnist E. Jean Carroll answers the question, Can You Find Love Online?
If you missed our Cyber Love Story of the Week, check out Doreen and Keith who met on OkCupid.
Many thanks to WCCO in Minneapolis, NPR’s All Things Considered for SmartPhones Apps Help More Singles Find The Boy (Or Girl) Next Door and the Washington Post for the wonderful interviews on mobile dating.
Our favorite quote this week is, “Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.” – Rose Franken
Our friends at eHarmony are having a free Communication Weekend going on right now, so try their site and let us know if you get lucky in love.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you roam.
Julie and the Cyber-Dating Expert Team.
Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert, bestselling author, and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt newsletter, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert