Cyber Love Links
Links to love, when you’re in the mood for love.
We’ve gone green for St. Patrick’s Day and are feeling slightly crazy with March Madness going on. We couldn’t let the week end without thanking those who have featured us, quoted us, and share the articles we loved and tweeted this week.
A huge thank you to Jen Kirsch for featuring our advice on Canadian Living in 6 Online Dating Tips and Jenna Birch who asked for my two cents worth on YourTango in March Madness Time: 5 Reasons to Date a Girl Who Loves Sports. Very thrilled to appear on StyleList with the Rules of Netiquette for Texting and had a blast on Planet Love Match Radio with Jen and Josh.
Our friends at The Frisky posted the Official Frisky Girl Code of Conduct worth sharing. My friend Rita Watson wrote a beautiful post on Psychology Today, 13 Romantic Ideas for Lovers. Match shared the Cities Luckiest in Love in 2011 and on Woman’s Day, you can read, 10 Things Your Husband’s Friends Won’t Tell You.
Don’t forget, our friends at eHarmony are having their Free Communication Weekend, so you just might have a St. Patrick’s date after all. We’ve officially changed our Facebook page to the new Timeline, so check out our new cover and Like us!
Connect with us on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter for free dating advice.
10 Ways to Flirt on St. Patrick’s Day
Is it a coincidence that March Madness is the same time of year as St. Patrick’s Day?
Whether you know the history of St. Patrick or not, it’s the perfect time to brush up on your flirting skills to get ready for spring fever. With St. Patrick’s Day on a Saturday, start celebrating on Friday, where you have permission to stay out late and sleep in on Saturday or Sunday.
To get into the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day, you don’t need to be Irish. If you practice these expert dating and flirting skills, you’ll likely have a date on your calendar before the weekend is over, or will enjoy the time together with the object of your affection.
1. Send a text message the the person you’ve had a crush on to say “Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Even if they aren’t Irish, chances are they’ll reply to you.
2. Log onto your online dating site and change your profile photo to wearing something green. Do the same on Facebook and change the first line of your profile to say, “Happy St. Patrick’s Day.”
3. Wear a green button that says, “Kiss me if you’re Irish.” Chances are you’ll get at least a smile, if not a peck on the cheek.
4. If you have a date on the calendar, pick up a green carnation for him or her. Although receiving carnations might appear tacky on Valentine’s Day, a month later it’s fine. It’s worth a chuckle or two and shows your date that you took the time to think of them.
5. Grab some friends and go to your local watering hole. You don’t need to drink green beer, or anything green for that matter to get into the spirit. While standing in line, comment on someone’s outfit who has caught your attention. Guys should wear a green tie. Ladies, compliment him on it, even if it’s the tackiest thing you’ve seen all month. It’s the kind of day where approaching others isn’t just accepted, it’s expected.
6. Smile. A smile is contagious. Practice the 5-second stare while smiling at someone you would like to meet. It’s the cue for them to come over and wish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Who knows where the conversation will lead?
7. Bring a camera or your iPhone, take photos and upload them to your Instagram account. If you aren’t on Instagram yet, what are you waiting for? It’s a photo sharing site for your iPhone that allows you to pictures directly to Facebook, Twitter, or Flickr. Compliment the guy with the tacky green tee shirt and take his photo. It will help get the conversation started. Chances are he’ll want to see his digital photo and may even ask you to take another one. You’ll be engaging in no time.
8. Put a green bandana on your dog’s collar and go to the local dog park. There’s a reason it’s called puppy love and it’s a great conversation starter.
9. Go to a St. Patrick’s Day parade in your local city. Everyone loves a parade and it will give you an excuse to start a conversation with those you end up bundled up with.
10. If the festivities are too much for you and you’d prefer avoiding crowds, go to a sushi bar or your favorite Japanese restaurant and sip on some hot green tea and order green-tea ice cream for dessert.
11. Set up a coffee date and order the green tea Frappuccino at Starbucks or meet at an ice cream shop and grab a mint-chocolate ice cream cone.
12. If you have a sweet tooth, bake some chocolate cupcakes and decorate them with green frosting. Bring a few for your date to nibble on. If you’re not the best in the kitchen, stop by your local bakery or sprinkles cupcakes store and select some luscious items all wrapped up and ready to go.
Keep in mind St. Patrick’s Day is the perfect time to practice the art of flirting. Go ahead and wear that flashing green button to draw attention to yourself. If you are not one to visit a local pub, go to a public place and wear green and start smiling. You have permission to do it all.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert, bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating, and is the CEO of CyberDatingExpert.com, where they create irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
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Winks, emails, and IMs — oh my! Online Dating Etiquette
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert
Yes ladies. Men do take online dating seriously.
After creating an irresistible profile for a newly widowed male client on Match.com, he decided it was time to put all ten toes and suddenly realized he needed a lesson in online dating etiquette.
He’s a terrific catch, signed up for the Totally in Love plan, and actually wants to meet an age-appropriate woman and wonders, what is the proper online dating etiquette? Within 24 hours he was bombarded with emails, winks, and IMs. He already has a date on the calendar with a highly educated woman who lives close to him. He’s on the right digital path.
I told him to get ready for the ride and showed him how to get organized. I knew he’d get a lot of initial emails and views to his profile. He wasn’t prepared for the overwhelming response from women interested in meeting him. Rather than feeling overwhelmed, he decided to embrace the process. He wanted to know how to put his best foot forward to be successful. His questions were ones that many singles are confused about when they first join an Internet dating site. All are worth sharing.
1. I haven’t responded yet to the 3 or 4 women who’ve “winked” at me. What’s the proper etiquette?
When a woman winks at a man, she’s signally to him that she’s open to communicating. Generally, it’s her way of saying, “check out my profile and if you’re interested, please email me.” What she won’t probably want is to be winked back in return, so if you like what you see, read her profile and find something unique and interesting to write about and put that in the subject line. This way you’ll have a greater chance of receiving an email in return from her.
2. Same thing with the women who’ve e-mailed me. What’s considered good, what’s simply appropriate, and what’s rude?
If you’re interested in someone who has emailed you, read her profile and write back in a timely manner. Remember, you’re not the only guy she’s communicating with and a prompt response will not only be appreciated, but will put your name on her date card. If you’re not interested, you can either ignore the email, or thank her for writing to you. If her profile isn’t inline with what you’re looking for, you can politely point that out and wish her the best. The only way you’d be rude is if you insulted her, which I’m sure you wouldn’t want to do.
3. A couple of women have IM’d me while I was online. Personally I find that really intrusive, even obnoxious. For that reason, I’m highly reluctant to IM anyone else. But I don’t know how the game is played. Again, what’s the proper thing to do? Can I just turn off my IM capability?
Instant messaging isn’t for everyone. While it can be fun, flirty, and instantaneous, some might find it annoying. To remove the IM feature, log onto your account, click on Account in the upper right hand side of the profile and in the dropdown menu click on settings, and then click on Instant messenger. This is where you can both turn off your instant messaging and IM alerts.
4. What’s a polite but clear way to express disinterest (for example, if I decide I’ve got no interest in meeting someone who contacts me first)?
There’s no perfect answer to this question. While you might want to appear like the nice guy and let them know that you don’t think you’re a match, they might be offended and insulted. If you ignore them, then they’ll wonder why they’re being rejected. You can take your time before you quickly push the reply button to the email and do what you feel is right for you, but remain polite. After all, she might have a friend to introduce you to if you’re a genuine guy, so don’t close the door completely.
Do you have questions about online dating? Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and subscribe to our Weekly Flirt.
The Digital Marriage Proposal – Would You Propose Online?
We all know that our best friends and potential loved ones are spending more time digitally connected. Whether it’s the hours a day viewing your friends profiles on Facebook or the chit-chat on Twitter, if you’ve met online, would you propose online?
This question was asked of me by my friend and dating expert Jen Kirsch. In an article on Yahoo! Shine, Man Proposes to Girl in Infographic, Jen takes a look into the latest and creative Valentine’s digital Infographic marriage proposal from Drake Martinet to his girlfriend, Mashable VP of Marketing and Communications, Stacy Green. Fortunately, her answer was yes.
We watch each others timelines on Facebook and create a permanent digital footprint about our love lives for the world to see. I told Jen that, I’ve witnessed a number of these online proposals first hand and says it’s the modern equivalent of people proposing by skydiving or on a Jumbotron at a sports game. “They are living in a world that is surrounded by online activity. They look at it in the same romantic way as someone who is being proposed to at a game,” says Spira.
“The people we are talking about that are proposing this way they are in the social media world and this is an offshoot of their personality habits, which are more online than offline. It’s a way for someone to get cute and creative outside of the box,” says Spira.
To read the full article, click here. Many thanks to Jen for including me in her story.
Would you, or wouldn’t you propose marriage on Facebook, Twitter, Groupon, or in an Infographic? Would you say yes? Feel free to chime in with your thoughts.
If you get a moment, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and @JulieSpira on Twitter and vote for us in the Readers’ Choice Awards for best dating blog.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert, founder of CyberDatingExpert.com, and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for our free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
It’s Complicated – Dating in a Web 2.0 World
Just in time for Valentine’s, Harlequin publishing has released their 2012 Romance Report card with the resulting grade of, “It’s Complicated.”
Marrying both love and technology has both helped speed up relationships and connect through “Missed Connections,” as well as resulted in hurting someone’s digital feelings. I experienced this first-hand, as my ex-fiancé dumped me in an email during the time when a post-it was passé and Facebook was still an infant. Although it’s very old news in my digital book, I’m hoping that others will think twice before they push the send button or consider having their mobile phones rank higher on the totem pole than their sweetheart this Valentine’s Day.
The romance publisher looked at how Twitter, Facebook, Smartphone and technology has changed the way that men and women communicate with one another in matters of the heart. By polling single women 18-40, they found that the majority (58%) thought technology was a positive force in the dating world. Those who skewed younger (21-24 year olds) preferred texting to calling.
Although 91% of those surveyed said that dating rules had become more flexible, their findings showed that more than half of the women still had traditional values as it relates to romance. Women still want men to as them out, hold the door open for them, and pay for the first date. 82% of those surveyed said they preferred dating a guy with a sense of humor. With, or without technology, not much has changed in these areas.
However, Harlequin added in some dating “deal-breakers,” and they found that three out of five were technology-related. Having a too-needy guy was on the top of the list (32%), followed closely behind with a dependence on a BlackBerry or iPhone (31%), too many Facebook photos with an ex-girlfriend (29%), and those who were grammatically challenged (24%). Oh how simple it really is to untag an ex when you breakup and use spell-check during the digital courtship process. If men knew how easy it was to fix these little things, perhaps more relationships would flourish.
As for those deal-breakers, relationship expert Dr. Wendy Walsh says, “Men who are addicted to their smart phones may be too disconnected from real world relationships or may have a tech-induced attention-deficit-disorder that could impair kindness and intelligence.” Walsh added, “Men who display too many photos of themselves with their ex’s on Facebook may be showcasing their prior conquests to indicate that they are a player and out for sex rather than love.”
So what do women think is romantic? It’s not the price tag of a gift as much as remembering the small details and showing that you care. At the end of the digital day, romance is alive and well and all you really need is love.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and writes about the marriage of love and technology on Huffington Post. Julie is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and The Rules of Netiquette. Follow her @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Science or Luck – The Great Online Dating Debate
By now you’ve probably heard the good news. Online Dating has officially lost its stigma and now ranks second in the U.S. for matchmaking. Whether you’ve met your dream date or spouse by answering 250 questions on eHarmony or answered some intimate questions on OkCupid, one thing’s for sure, online dating is no longer for the socially challenged. It’s here to stay and is now residing primarily on your mobile phone or iPad.
A group of 5 researchers collected data on the subject to be published in the February issue of the Journal for the Association of Psychological Science. These experts claim that these dating algorithms are nonsense. The report claims that online dating encourages a “shopping mentality” and that singles are getting too picky with too many choices. Do you agree? Is it just the luck of the draw, or is there some magic to the proprietary methods Internet dating sites use to keep you engaged and active on their site?
Dating algorithms and scientific matching were a subject of heated panel at the recent Internet Dating Conference in Miami, where Dr. Eli J. Finkel, the study’s lead author and an associate professor of social psychology at Northwestern University, said there was no science behind the algorithms. OkCupid’s CEO and co-founder Sam Yagan and Dr. Pepper Schwartz, professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle, who created the Personality Profiler for online dating site Perfect Match, vehemently disagreed. The sites stood by their list of questions to help singles meet better matches, whether through math or science.
At the end of the digital day, online dating has become social dating, and it’s not going away anytime soon.
How do you feel about personality profiles on Chemistry, Perfect Match, and eHarmony.com? Do you believe you’ll get better matches? Are you finding it hard to commit with too many choices in your inbox?
Your comments are welcome and appreciated.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice and follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
Will All the Men Online Stop Frowning? Online Dating Profiles [Infographic]
We sure love these Infographics, especially when it comes to matters of the heart and online dating.
The Truth About Online Dating created a fun one for Valentine’s Day with statistics about Online Dating: Men vs. Women, by grabbing statistics from OkCupid and Wikipedia
Are you surprised at these results? Men lie three times as much as women about their relationship status, age, and real last names on a first date.
In addition, 50% of men didn’t smile on their online dating profiles? What’s up guys? Women want to see a happy man just as much as you’d like to see a confident smiling woman.
Full post @The Truth About Online Dating
VIDEO – Is Texting Preventing You From Dating In Real Life?
You’ve met that someone special and have great online chemistry. Watch our video to learn the right time to take your relationship from online to offline.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and online dating expert. Click here for more video dating advice and connect with us on Twitter @JulieSpira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
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And the Winners Are… iDate Awards for Best Dating Sites
with Lifetime Achievement Award Recipient Gary Kremen
You might have your favorite online dating site, but did you know the Internet dating industry actually has their own awards ceremony, similar to the Academy Awards?
iDate Conference organizer Marc Lesnick emceed the 3rd Annual iDate Awards ceremony along with Mark Brooks from Online Personals Watch. It was an honor and privilege to also be a presenter at the event held in Miami Beach on January 24, 2012.
The Internet Dating Executive Alliance and dating site members and users had the opportunity to vote.for their favorites in 12 categories.
OkCupid walked away with 3 iDate awards, received by Sam Yagan, CEO and co-founder of the site. Gary Kremen, known for creating online dating back in 1993 by being the original creator of Match.com received a well-deserved special Lifetime Achievement Award. Gary was a Keynote speaker earlier in the day,
The complete list of winners are….
Best Dating Site – OkCupid
Best Dating Site Design – OkCupid
Best Dating Software Provider – White Label Dating
Best Mobile Dating App – Grindr
Best Dating Coach – Evan Marc Katz
Most Innovative Company – OkCupid
Best New Technology – Grindr
Best Up-And-Coming Dating Site – How About We
Best Marketing Campaign – Match.com
Best Affiliate Program – FriendFinder
Best Payment System – Paymentwall.com
Best Matchmaker – Julie Ferman, Cupids Coach/eLove
We’ll be posting video highlights from the conference with the latest in online dating safety, mobile dating, and letting you know about some of the new niche sites that might help while looking for love online.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira for dating advice and on Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
New Online Dating Site Hitch.me Mixes Business With Pleasure
Do you believe that LinkedIn profiles are more accurate than most online dating profiles? If so, you’re not alone. On Friday the 13th, Hitch.me was officially launched using LinkedIn profiles as the basis for their site’s algorithms.
I had the opportunity to interview Hitch.me founder Navid Nadir, who is happily married with two children. Nadir has a degree in computer engineering from Queens University in Kingston, Canada and although he isn’t interested in finding love online, both he and his wife have single friends who were frustrated with the process.
Nadir believes that over 50% of online dating profiles are fabricated. Nadir said, “If you want to date someone, why lie?” That’s a question that many single daters struggle with as they hope there’s truth-in-advertising when viewing online dating profiles.
Nadir added, “It’s not just another niche site. It’s a niche site that is in demand. This is something we have been waiting for a long time. You can actually search for a profile based upon a skill-set, find someone based on specific industries, and search within groups that you are a member of on LinkedIn.”
The site is simple to use and there are no monthly fees.
Hitch.me members purchase credits in a pay-as-you-go format. Their 3 levels are:
- Beginner: $10 for 500 credits
- So Much for So Less: $25 for 2000 credits
- Guaranteed Satisfaction: $50 for 4000 credits
So how does the credit system work?
For 20 credits, you get just a “smile.” It’s their way of flirting.
For 50 credits, you get a “pitch,” the opportunity to send a 200 word email to the object-of-your-affection.
For 100 credits, Private Presentation: 100 credits. Can add youtube videos and images, 500 words and can add 3 images and one youtube video.
Does the site mix business with pleasure? Only if you want it to. You can select from finding a casual date, soulmate, friend, or a business partner.
For a limited time period, they are offering 200 free credits as they build their membership base. Click here to get started on Hitch.me
Do you believe LinkedIn profiles are more accurate than online dating profiles? Your comments are always welcome.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com and Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert for dating advice and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
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