Peril of the Week – Hero in the Dog House

A man enjoys being the hero in his woman’s life. When he lends a hand to help her and she shows her appreciation he feels good.

And so the story goes about a woman who was dating a man she met online.  Every day he did something to impress her. When she was a damsel in distress, he was at her side offering his expert advice. In time, he became her hero and he was a happy man. He proudly nicknamed himself, HRH – Her Royal Hero.

Both appeared to be happy until that pivotal point in the relationship. The date when they finally wound up in the bedroom for the first time. All of their pent up tension that led to their first night of passion. He said it was good for him. She thought it was good for her. One would think flowers would arrive the next morning or at least a phone call. However, the morning after that momentous evening, he was no where to be found. No email, no voice mail, no sweet nothings. He simply disappeared.

She secretly wondered, did she rush in to it? Was he really a typical guy who vanishes after he scores? She got mad. While he still had a smile on his face from the evening before, she had no idea. He broke a cardinal rule and didn’t call her the next day.

Rather than crying over spilled milk, she renamed her guy from HRH to HDH–Hero in the Dog House. Did she hear from her guy? Eventually, yes, but only after she let him have it. Apparently, he was just busy and forgot to call.  The moral of the story, if it’s more than a booty call and you really are interested in having a relationship with a woman you have slept with,  make sure you contact them the next day with some sweet nothings. An email or text won’t suffice. It’s dating advice – 101. You’ve become intimate. Make sure she hears the sound of your voice, even if it’s only a voicemail.

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Peril of the Week – The Valentine’s Break Up

There’s no good time to break up with the woman or man in your life. However, there are some SACRED days that one should respect when it comes to matters of the heart. These days include Christmas, New Year’s, Birthdays, and of course, Valentine’s Day.

We all remember that Jessica Simpson got dumped by football star, Tony Romo the day before her birthday bash. Romo didn’t want to be the “Ken” in her “Ken and Barbie” theme party.

Flash forward to Valentine’s week. A handsome gentleman was courting a woman that he met in an online dating site. He said he wanted to pursue a romantic relationship with her. He was smitten.  He called her daily, told her she was beautiful, and made plans for future dates. Everything seemed to be going well and she expected an invitation for Valentine’s Day as he said he wasn’t dating anyone else. It appeared he was doing everything right.

Suddenly, one week before Valentine’s Day, he cancelled their plans for the weekend, without an excuse. He rescheduled for the following week–the week where you should already know if you are on the calendar for February 14th.

Then came the arrival of the e-mail breakup just a few days before Valentine’s Day.  The one where he said, “Let’s be friends.”

The email message said, “As for us; I think we are in the friend zone as I am obviously not the man for you.  I’ll spare you all the boilerplate of what a wonderful person you are (although it’s true) but the simple reality is that I am not the man who will be able to provide you with happiness, joy and contentment for the balance of your long and very meaningful life.  What you are looking for I cannot provide and I’m sorry I’m unable to do so as I’m very attracted to you.”

Was it a polite pre-Valentine’s breakup? Sure. He could have just disappeared. The bottom line appeared, that he didn’t want her to be his Valentine. Happiness, joy and contentment forever? It was too soon to know that. Was it the pressure of the date? “It’s not you, it’s me” is old line. She surmised that he found another Valentine and he just wasn’t that into her after all.

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Peril of the Week – Pizza Crust to Go

One day I went on a date with a handsome attorney who took me to lunch at a local pizza parlor. While ordering the gourmet pizza of his choice, he requested that his pie be cooked very well-done. He explained that he didn’t like a soggy crust.

When his dish arrived, he ate a small piece. He frowned and announced that he didn’t like his pizza. He claimed it wasn’t cooked enough for his taste. The date called the waiter over to complain. The waiter assured him that he gave the correct instructions to the chef, but would be happy to have another pizza made.

When the second pizza arrived, the gentleman was pleased. He was no longer being subjected to eating a soggy pizza. He was now a happy diner. However,the waiter and the chef were not smiling.

As a courtesy, the waiter offered to take the price of the pizza off of the bill. This was above and beyond what was necessary. After all, the date did enjoy his meal. Why should it be free?  At the end of lunch, the date requested a “to go” box to take the few remaining pieces of his pizza crust home in a doggy bag. He also requested to take the remains of my salad as well. He didn’t seem embarrassed at all to have asked.

Women just don’t find the practical side appealing on a first date.

Excerpt from the Internet dating book,  The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online by Julie Spira.

Peril of the Week – My Love is Blue

Peril of the Week

A gentleman was a member of several online dating sites. He met a woman online who lived 30 miles away. He was attracted to her photo, and decided to ask her out for dinner.

While perusing the menu, he suggested that they order pizza.

She replied by saying she doesn’t eat pizza. He then suggested a nice chicken dish. She told him she didn’t eat chicken. Apparently she only ate red meat, cheese, chocolate, bacon, and red wine. He was surprised at her reply and asked,  ”Do you eat fish?” “No,” she replied. He asked, “Do you eat lettuce?” Once again, she said no. “No broccoli?” “Never,” she replied.

Meanwhile her pager kept going off during their date, and he secretly wondered if she was selling drugs on the side. He also noticed that her skin had a strange blue tint to it.

It wasn’t a complete dating disaster, but apparently there was very little she could or would order on the menu. Finally, the blue woman said, she needed to leave. She had an medical emergency. When he asked what happened, she said that she worked in a psychiatric ward and helped children with eating disorders.

Perhaps next time, she should order broccoli. After all, green is in.

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Peril of the Week – The 2nd Date Shuffle

One of the best parts about joining an online dating site is the huge dating pool that is created when you post your online dating profile. However, the downside can result when you get shuffled around like this handsome gentleman did.

After a very successful first date,  two singles decided to put a second date on their calendar. There was chemistry. It was comfortable. Both seemed to want to move on to a second date.

However, when it got closer to actual day of the date, the woman called and asked if she could reschedule. She claimed she had a conflict in her calendar. The gentleman was happy to accommodate her request and they moved the date to the following week. When she asked to reschedule again for a second time, he was a bit suspicious but agreed to a revised date.

You can imagine how surprised he was when he went to the local deli to pick up a sandwich, only to find that he was replaced by another man she met while cyberdating. She seemed a bit embarrassed, as she should have been. He got shuffled around one too many times and suffered from a case of the “Second Date Shuffle” phenomenon. The interesting part of the story, is that this happened to him once before.

One has to wonder, how many men she was juggling. The man left in frustration and wondered, who will be the next man on her date card.Was it a dating disaster? I guess not as it seemed impossible to get to the second date. Perhaps he should take up shuffleboard lessons and perfect this sport or just shuffle off to Buffalo.

The Peril of the Week was contributed by David Kessler. For inclusion in the Peril of the Week, send your submissions to CyberDatingExpert.com

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Peril of the Week – Witchy Woman

And now, for a  little post-Halloween humor. A gentleman took the risk and went out with a woman whose online dating profile name included the word “witch.” Out of curiosity he contacted her and they set up their first date as she had an attractive profile photo. Now, we know that men are visual and the right photo will sell them in a heartbeat.

In this case, there was some truth in advertising. On their cyberdate, she described her amazing in-home lab which was complete with ancient glass filled with bubbly brew. She told her date about how she concocted home-made creations. She claimed her witches brew were in fact homeopathic medicines. The gentleman on the date had a spooky feeling during their conversation, and had a hunch there was more witchcraft to the story than met the eye.

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