The Top 10 Rules of Netiquette for Online Daters

After reading the post from Anthony Michael Rojas called “How to Treat a Woman on a Date,” the outpouring of comments from many who disagreed, which resulted in a follow up article appearing on CNN.com written by The Frisky’s Amelia McDonnell-Parry, “Chivalry tips cause all kinds of outrage,” I decided it was time to republish my “Top 10 Rules of Netiquette” for Online Daters and see what reaction I would receive.

Call me old-fashioned, but if a man did all of the 8 things listed in his article, he’d be my hero and would be a suitable date for my daughter, if I had one.

From a woman’s standpoint here my online dating tips and excerpts from my book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

1.    The Google Rule – Don’t tell your date he or she has been “Googled” before a first date. Can you believe some actually brag about the fact that they did a background check on you before your first date? If you choose to “Google” a date, it’s best to keep it to yourself. No one wants to be accused of being a stalker early on.

2.    The Cut-Off Rule – Authenticity Matters. However, we all know that some people want to fit into a search and age is one of the biggest misrepresentations in a profile. If you feel compelled to stretch it, please don’t subtract more than 5-10 pounds off your actual weight or 5-10 year of of your age on your online dating profile. I can’t force the universe to tell their correct age online, so If you do choose to subscribe to this cut-off rule, please come clean about your age either on the phone or on your first date, especially if you want to make it to a second date.

3.    The Food and Beverage Rule - A man should not suggest sharing an appetizer on a first date, nor should he meet his date for coffee without the intention of ordering a beverage. I once went on a date where the man brought his own bottle of water to the coffee bar. He never made it to a second date.

4.    The Valet Parking Rule - It’s just gentlemanly and chivalrous to offer to pay for the woman’s valet parking on a first date, especially if you like her and want to get to the second date. Is it worth standing on ceremony and not paying $5 for parking? It’s typically less than the cost of the next drink and you will get extra bonus points if you ask the valet parking attendant to bring her car first. Even if you aren’t interested in a second date, she will remember this kind gesture and may have a friend to introduce you to. Make a great first impression.

5.    The Ex Rule - Never discuss an ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, or ex-spouse on a first date. If your date insists on talking about spousal support or how happy he is that his payments are about to end, change the subject, or run!

6.    The Body Parts Rule - Don’t discuss cosmetic surgery, vasectomies, or anything that personal in nature regarding your body parts. Yes, this does come up on first dates, and it should not.

7.    The To Go Bag Rule - Don’t EVER, take your food from a first date to go in a doggy bag. And even more important, don’t request your date’s food to go in your doggy bag as well.

8.    The Send Button Rule - When in doubt, don’t push the send button in an angry or emotional email that you’ve written when you are upset at your date. Sleep on it or send it to yourself. You can’t take it back.

9.    The Marriage Proposal Rule - Don’t give or accept a marriage proposal online or in a text message. If you think this hasn’t been done this before, give me a call!

10. The Break Up Rule – Never break up with a significant other in an email. It’s just common courtesy to have a conversation and preferably in person.

I’m not insisting that men follow all of these ten rules. They are just suggestions that will make a difference to a woman that you are interested in dating again.

Excerpts from the book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online by Julie Spira. Visit her at http://CyberDatingExpert.com.

Book Review – Ask Matt and Tamsen

Looking for Love Online? The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, is just the book you need to take from the city to the beach this summer!

Julie Spira dishes it all as a hopeful romantic looking for love online. From her fabulous Rules of “Netiquette” that map out what men and women say vs. what they actually mean, to one hilarious story after another, she has mastered it all in a few clicks of her keyboard. This tell-all memoir spans over 250 dates in almost 15 years online. It’s a must read!

~ Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal, America’s Love Experts

Brad Pitt Giving Online Dating Tips?

The subject of authenticity in an online dating profile is a HOT Topic! 

Just this week, I appeared on FOX-News on this subject, where I told singles to be authentic in their online dating profiles. When I returned home from San Diego, I found out that Brad Pitt, who is on the August issue of WIRED Magazine, gave his two-cents and suggested that singles who are online dating should lie about how much money they make on their profile. 

In my book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating, I list the top ten rules of netiquette for online daters.  One of these rules is the  ”cut-off” rule. I created the rule when I saw a male profile of a 53 year old who was claiming to be 40. Thirteen years? Men complain about women lying about their age, but I was stunned to see it in the other direction as well.

I decided there should be a cut-off rule, only because we can’t force singles to be honest online. It’s my belief that you should post your accurate age. However, since many will not, I simply suggested that singles should not take off more than 5-10 years off their age or weight in an online dating profile, if they insist on following the trend.

While I don’t promote lying about your age, I can’t stop the fact that it is so common. I add in my book that you should come clean on the first date or on the phone about your real age. I personally believe in telling the truth, but stretching the truth about your age, weight, and financial status online is the norm for many online daters – hence the “cut-off rule” has merit.

According to the Wired Article, Pitt states, “Everyone lies online. In fact, readers expect you to lie. If you don’t, they’ll think you make less than you actually do. So the only way to tell the truth is to lie.” He has a point as singles reaching a pivotal birthday, usually take at least 2-5 years off their age to remain in a search. 

Is it time to come clean and be authentic in your online dating profile?  I think so, and this week’s radio show will feature a service called HonestyOnline. This service can help you to determine if your potential date is who he or she says they really are. They recently partnered up with DatingHeadshots.com where your verification badge will also confirm that they were the ones who indeed did take your online dating photo. I personally believe that the trend for authenticity is on the rise with the success of social networking sites. Very slowly, singles are starting to come clean about their real age, and it’s refreshing to see.

Wouldn’t you like to know that your online date has passed a verification test? There are certificates of authenticity for diamonds, real estate, art work, but what is more important than your personal safety online?

I answered the five questions correctly, even though I had to guess where an ex-husband resided. Shortly afterwards I received the verification badge below which can be visible on my Facebook Profile.

As a woman, I can see the value in knowing that a man is who he says he is. If you are interested in trying it out, go to www.HonestyOnline.Com or check out their Facebook application.

Julie Spira is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at www.CyberDatingExpert.com.

Love Life Makeovers with Gina Hendrix

Are you interested in hearing more about Cyber Dating?  Listen to Cyber-Dating Expert, Julie Spira, who was a recent guest on Gina Hendrix’s fun and flirty radio show, Love Life Makeovers.  Gina, a professional matchmaker and owner of Selective and Single asked Julie some very personal questions about her love life, her viewpoint on Internet dating, and her personal rules of netiquette from her upcoming book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating:Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.   Listen to the podcast now and hear some online dating tips from an expert.

Don’t forget to sign up for your free newsletter and free copy of the Top Ten Rules of Netqiuette at cyberdatingexpert.com.

The Top Ten Rules of Netiquette

Did you ever go on a Cyber-Date to find yourself in some of the most embarrassing moments of your life? Are you struggling to find a quality date online? Are you looking for the man of your dreams to find you?  Do you want a great relationship with a real man?

As a Cyber-Dating Expert and one who has been on over 250 Internet dates including a few marriage proposals, I can share stories with you that will have you laughing for hours. But what do you do in these embarrassing moments?

The first thing to do is to know the red flags upfront and politely exit stage right or stage left, whatever you prefer. I send the inappropriate dates on a one-way ticket to Internet Heaven, a place reserved as a trash icon on my desktop.

For myself, I have collected stories for years, and have come up with the Top Ten Rules of Netiquette which will be featured in my upcoming book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating – Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

You can attract and keep the Man of Your Dreams NOW by signing up for The Top Ten Rules of Netiquette at http:/cyberdatingexpert.com.

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