Let’s face it. You’re hanging your digital hat on Facebook and Twitter a bit more often than logging into your online dating account, and with good reason. You like to see what your friends are up to and cheer them on with an occasional like or two. Staring at ‘Selfies’ photos can be fun, and watching someone change their relationship status is a golden moment.
Most online dating sites are now entrenched with social media allowing you to upload your photos directly from Facebook and even using the like button for people to vote on their favorite photos of you. This is quite helpful as you can and should change your photos around a bit. If you notice that some are getting more attention, then they’re keepers.
Internet dating has evolved from the early days of chat rooms and dial up Internet to high-speed wireless Internet and now to a social dating experience. From getting dating advice on Twitter from @Match or @eHarmony to checking out your potential date’s Facebook page, while still chatting on the phone with him or her, digital dating has ramped it up a big notch.
When Facebook launched their Social Graph search in January, I spoke with USA Today. The article, Facebook Unleashed Cupid Potential came out while many of the Internet dating executives were at the Internet Dating Conference.
I was quoted as saying:
Dating norms, however, have already taken root on Facebook. People have long-perused the photos and postings of members in the game of attraction, says Julie Spira, a digital-dating maven who runs CyberDatingExpert.com.
“It’s the world’s largest social network, and they could be the world’s largest dating network if they want to go there,” Spira said.
No longer could online dating sites and singles ignore the big digital gorilla in the room. A few weeks later, we debuted Facebook Love Stories, featuring real world couples who met or reconnected on Facebook and fell madly in love.
Cyber-Dating Expert friend Cliff Lerner, the CEO of Are You Interested wrote an interesting piece in Huffington Post entitled, Why Facebook Graph Search Will Make Online Dating Cool.
I have to agree with Lerner. There are some that still think there’s a stigma with online dating, but have no problem contacting other singles on Facebook chat. This my friends is social dating at it’s best.
At the end of the digital day, you need to cast a very wide net. If you’re uncomfortable saying that you’re an online dater, tell people that you’re a social dater. Do whatever it takes to find love, online, offline, and on Facebook.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, on Facebook, or wherever you may roam.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and FacebookLoveStories.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and coaches them on finding love online and on Facebook. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and like her at at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
With Valentine’s Day just a month away, singles are thinking about red hearts and online dating sites are seeing record activity.
According to CNN, some online dating sites have surged by up to 350% in the past two months, so singles looking for love online can have more choices to find a date or mate for the holiday season.
So how can you ramp up your search in the next 30 days?
Here are 5 tips that will shorten the search so you can ride into the digital sunset together.
1. Become a Social Dater. If you’re constantly updating your status on Facebook and posting new photos on Instagram, Pinterest, and Flickr, go ahead and share some of those on your online dating profile as well. Toss out the outdated blurry photos, group shots, and the arm hanging over your shoulder and replace them with newer photos that reflect who you are today. Remember to post a caption under the photos and add the date they were taken, so your potential suitors can see there’s truth-in-advertising
2. Don’t Wait, Initiate. I know the “Rules” book says a woman should never ever contact a man, but I disagree with this one. There’s a fine line between chasing a guy and playing hard-to-get. Playing the waiting game won’t fill your date card. Sure if you call a guy all the time, you might be considered needy, but most men are so frustrated with writing to women online who never respond. Your quick introduction email will be refreshing to him. Send a flirt, wink, or a nudge, if you’d like to subtly get his attention. Rate his profile or let him know you’ve viewed it, so he can see you’re interested.
3. Flirt on Facebook. Finding love on the world’s largest social network will expand your search. Facebook reported that 40.5% of their members changed their relationship status in 2012 to “Single,” as compared to 29.2% who changed their status to “In a Relationship.” Check out Facebook chat and see if someone who captures your eye is online and start the conversation. Go ahead an Poke someone and see if it’s returned like a digital boomerang.
4. Log on Daily. If you keep your online dating profile hidden with the fear that you’ll look desperate, the result is you just won’t get found as easily. Change your settings to being visible while logged on, so you can show up higher in a search. Take it one step further and turn on the chat and instant message feature. It’s time to start flirting online.
5. Practice the Magic of 5. If you’d go on a few job interviews every day to find your dream position, shouldn’t you do the same with your personal life? Go ahead and book five dates a week. Sound overwhelming? Not really. Schedule two coffee dates, one lunch date, and two dates for drinks to fill your calendar with potential male suitors. By the weekend, you should have date number two on your calendar. Even if you don’t meet “the one,” you’ll be expanding your social network. I call it casting a wide net. You never know if a party invitation will follow.
Practice these five tips from now until Valentine’s Day and look forward to the possibility of finding love online.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert, bestselling author and the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
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What do you get when you match up 8 single daters and 8 mobile dating apps?
Hi, this is Julie Spira and I’ve created Mobile Dating Bootcamp, a social dating experience to help singles find love from the convenience of their mobile phones.
With over 14 million singles using mobile dating apps, we decided to put mobile to the test. Let’s see what the daters had to say.
Most singles who I coach on finding love online aren’t aware of Klout, social media reputation, or the marriage of social media and technology.
Perhaps they see their percentages of a Match on OkCupid with their Quiver matches, where a 90+ match is worth responding to.
Often they’re matched up on Chemistry.com with their Builder/Negotiator, Explorer/Director, created by biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher.
Most singles just want to find love, with any algorithm they can find.
So what happens when you marry a new dating site, Tawkify, created by Cyber-Dating Expert’s friend and Elle columnist E. Jean Carroll, with social influence site Klout? Talkify is the first dating site to partner with Klout to use the Klout scores as a measurement of allure and as a prediction of falling in love. Curious to hear more?
E. Jean tells Klout, “In a series of blind experiments (the thirty couples we matched were not told we were using their Klout Scores), we’ve found that Klout Scores will predict the brilliance or dullness of match—-and how quickly people will click.”
I have to admit, I do check my Klout score daily and it’s been steady at 61 for a while, where I’m labeled a “Broadcaster.” I now qualify for Tawkify’s “Red Carpet Vip Service.” Does that mean I need to meet someone else who is social media savvy with a 60+ score? Not really as the best relationships I’ve been in are with men who don’t tweet. I’m excited to see how the two will work together and would be curious to see if a Klout personality type of “Broadcaster” will match nicely with a “Thought Leader” or “Celebrity” with an “Observer,” or even “Pundit” with a “Specialist.”
So how does Tawkify work? You fill out a profile, answer ten questions and on Monday night your phone rings with a match. I’m hoping if there’s no match, that they won’t deduct the credit from your account. Prices range from $8 for one match to $1499 for the miracle worker.(with a special New York Times offer of $250.
Another brand that I admire who has partnered with Klout is fashion site Gilt, where you get discounts based upon your Klout score. We’ll be excited to share a Klout love story any day in our Cyber Love Story of the Week.
At the end of the digital day, online dating has finally moved to what I call social dating, and it’s here to stay.
Question: Would you value your date’s Klout score? Would you take a digital peek before deciding to go on a date?
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and social media strategist. She’s the CEO and Editor-in-Chief at CyberDatingExpert.com. As an early adopter of online dating, Julie created her first profile in 1994. Today, she writes irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and is an expert in mobile dating. For more dating advice, Like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
From the first kiss to will you marry me and beyond, our friends at Zoosk are encouraging their success couples to share their romantic milestones and hang around once their relationship has become official.
Redefining themselves as “the romantic network,” they’ve announced a new feature called “Couples Profiles,” where happy couples can create a joint profile to highlight their romantic journey.
Zoosk co-founder Shayan Zadeh and a friend of Cyber-Dating Expert tells us, “Zoosk started by helping singles find a partner to begin their romantic journey. Yet when we helped two people find each other and develop a relationship they left Zoosk and there was no dedicated place online for them to share their romantic journey. Our new Couple Profiles offering provides couples with a place to share their romantic milestones and memories online in a joint profile that can be shared with friends. As we continue to develop Couple Profiles, we have plans to add many more features.”
This makes a lot of sense as Facebook’s timeline also features these important relationship milestones, however not on a single profile.
Watch their video to see the features of “Couples Profiles” and feel free to chime in with your thoughts.
Julie Spira is the leading online dating expert, bestselling author, and CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating and relationship advice, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and sign up for our Weekly Flirt Dating advice newsletter. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
Join online dating expert Julie Spira as she returns to The Tonya Hall Show on KCRN, The Radio Colorado Network on Friday, March 30, 2012. We’ll be talking about social dating, love and romance in a web 2.0 world.
The online dating industry is continuing to grow at rapid speed with thousands of sites to choose from. Julie and Tonya will talk about how to stand out in the crowded digital marketplace and how to embrace mobile dating.
Should you be sending that Facebook friends request to someone you just started dating? Will you talk about searching him or her on Google? Should you send a text message to confirm?
Call in at 855-464-5905 at 8am/pacific time with your questions. We’ll be discussing this and more on The Tonya Hall Show.
Online dating doesn’t mean just signing up for a dating site when you’re single any more. It’s a multi-billion dollar industry filled with mobile apps, dating coaches, and helps both singles find love and couples stay together with ongoing dating tips.
In a pre-Valentine’s Love Goes Digital panel hosted by Kevin Winston of Digital LA, online dating experts and sites discussed dating advice, the growing trend of mobile dating, and how to keep your love alive after the knot has been tied.
Grant Langston, head of social media at eHarmony and an employee of the site since before it’s launch in 2000 shared his experience on the changes their site has gone through. In my personal opinion, I think they have one of the best iPad apps around. The site will shortly be rolling out a new feature for your eHarmony timeline that’s similar to a Facebook time-line.
Justin Fredericks, founder of Marriage.com, a video network that curates, produces and promotes videos about wedding, marriage, dating, and relationships talked about the new social networking site Pinterest, as it focuses on women.
I shared with the audience how I created my first online dating profile in 1994 as a charter member of Love@Aol, during the days of the dial-up connection. I penned my stories in my first book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and created CyberDatingExpert.com as a place for singles and couples to share their online dating stories. The use of social media on Twitter and Facebook has made a big impact on my brand. I also told singles not to ‘friend’ someone on Facebook before or after a first date. Personally, I think it’s creepy.
The audience was a mixed group of singles, married couples, dating industry executives, love coaches and those who are still looking for love online. We nibbled on chocolate, sipped One Coconut Water, and discussed what you should say or not say in your online dating profile.
At the end of the digital day, most of the audience felt they’d rather keep their love and dating life off of Facebook.
One thing’s for sure. The audience left fully armed with the dos and don’ts of social and online dating in time for Valentine’s Day.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. Follow her @JulieSpira on Twitter. If you loved this post, Like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert for more dating advice.
By now you’ve probably heard the good news. Online Dating has officially lost its stigma and now ranks second in the U.S. for matchmaking. Whether you’ve met your dream date or spouse by answering 250 questions on eHarmony or answered some intimate questions on OkCupid, one thing’s for sure, online dating is no longer for the socially challenged. It’s here to stay and is now residing primarily on your mobile phone or iPad.
A group of 5 researchers collected data on the subject to be published in the February issue of the Journal for the Association of Psychological Science. These experts claim that these dating algorithms are nonsense. The report claims that online dating encourages a “shopping mentality” and that singles are getting too picky with too many choices. Do you agree? Is it just the luck of the draw, or is there some magic to the proprietary methods Internet dating sites use to keep you engaged and active on their site?
Dating algorithms and scientific matching were a subject of heated panel at the recent Internet Dating Conference in Miami, where Dr. Eli J. Finkel, the study’s lead author and an associate professor of social psychology at Northwestern University, said there was no science behind the algorithms. OkCupid’s CEO and co-founder Sam Yagan and Dr. Pepper Schwartz, professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle, who created the Personality Profiler for online dating site Perfect Match, vehemently disagreed. The sites stood by their list of questions to help singles meet better matches, whether through math or science.
At the end of the digital day, online dating has become social dating, and it’s not going away anytime soon.
How do you feel about personality profiles on Chemistry, Perfect Match, and eHarmony.com? Do you believe you’ll get better matches? Are you finding it hard to commit with too many choices in your inbox?
Your comments are welcome and appreciated.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice and follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
How digital is your love life? Come to the Digital LA – Love Goes Digital panel on February 13, 2012, where we’ll be talking about online and social dating.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
January 31, 2012 — Los Angeles, CA — Julie Spira, bestselling author of “The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online” and a frequent media guest on the subject of online and social dating will be a featured panelist on the first-ever “Love Goes Digital” panel, hosted by Digital LA on February 13, 2012.
Julie will discuss social dating trends, how she helps singles by creating their online dating profiles, and about how she successfully used social media strategies to help her online dating book become a bestseller.
“For our pre-Valentine’s Day Digital LA – Loves Goes Digital panel, we want to celebrate by getting LA’s experts in online dating and love together, to share tips, trends, and success stories in building dating/love related blogs and businesses,” said Kevin Winston, Digital LA founder. “It’s the first time we know of that local dating and love experts have been gathered on a panel in Los Angeles.”
The event will be held at Hotel Shangri-La in Santa Monica, CA.
The secret to a successful online dating site is a combination of social dating, mobile dating, matching, and a critical mass of members. Jazzed, created by eHarmony appears to be successful at combining all four.
The social dating site announced their official launch today with over 500,000 members and more than 250,000 mobile downloads of their iOS and Android apps.
In an exclusive video interview for the Online Dating Minute, I spoke with Grant Hosford, Senior Director at Jazzed, who shared a behind the scenes look at the dating site, including what inspired eHarmony to create a social dating site, as well as describing some of their features.
In addition, you can connect with Jazzed_Kate, their official Twitter account with over 16,000 followers who provides dating advice and customer service.
Are you ready to start adding your social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, and Netflix on your profiles? Are you interested in joining a site to expand your social network and meet more friends? Your comments and thoughts are welcome.
Julie Spira is known worldwide as the leading online dating expert. She provides dating and relationship advice on CyberDatingExpert.com, where singles and couples share their online dating stories. Connect with Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert