The Truth About Online Dating Addiction
Our friends at We Love Dates have contributed a guest blog on a serial dating condition which many are sadly suffering from called, “Online Dating Addiction.”
Most people sign up for an online dating site with clear intentions – they want to meet someone wonderful and get offline as fast as possible. Many go into it as a quick fix, and they wouldn’t fathom someone would choose to stay online rather than go live happily ever after in the real world; but it happens all too often.
With Internet dating, your choices and options are endless. Some men and women think they can do just a little bit better with the next click. If a woman is looking for a 6-foot tall man with a great career who likes sushi, chances are her search results may reveal fifteen or more men who might meet her criteria in their neighborhood. Why settle for one of the bunch when you can try them all out, so to speak?
Digital dating is a double-edged sword. Having a multitude of options and choices at your fingertips is one of the very best things about online dating and why so many are huge advocates of finding love on the Internet. However, it can become a slippery slope and form a condition called, online dating addiction. The trouble starts when someone becomes obsessed with checking their online dating in-box and craves virtual attention to the point of letting it control them. It’s one thing to be excited to log on; it’s quite another to put your job or relationships with friends and family in jeopardy because you obsessively log on every fifteen minutes.
Another common issue associated with online dating addiction is a user’s inability to commit to someone in the “real world” because they don’t want to lose the chance of finding someone “better” online. Addicted to the thrill of the hunt and driven by a personal challenge, they become terrified they are going to miss out on someone a few clicks away, and subsequently their real world relationship begins to suffer. So that 6 foot tall sushi lover, for example; well-what if there is another guy who is 6’2 who makes just a bit more money? The options are endless…sometimes, unfortunately.
All of these options can make it nearly impossible to focus on the person who is right in front of you because your mind is always playing a game of “Who else can I get?” There is a difference between defining what you want in a date or partner and being completely unrealistic that you’re going to find someone who is the absolutely most perfect person for you, especially when your definition of perfect keeps changing. As a result, some singles spend their lives looking for someone who probably doesn’t exist.
If you find yourself displaying any warning signs of online dating addiction, it might be time to take a break and cut the virtual cord temporarily. In a world filled with so many options, sometimes it’s best to step back and reflect on what is truly important to you. Remember that people are more than just their shiny, perfectly composed profiles and that when it comes to true love, your options shouldn’t be endless. Online dating should be the means to an end, not the main attraction.
Liz is the social media manager for We Love Dates, a worldwide online dating site. She’s battled online dating addiction and won. For more dating advice and tips, visit the popular We Love Dates blog.
Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert, bestselling author, and CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
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