The CyberDating Expert Blog | Dating Advice | Dating Coach : Cyber Dating Expert
In the News


Jan 30th

Online Dating Expert Julie Spira Media Reel

As Featured in/on Over 1500 News Stories

Book Julie at 310-433-7786 or

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for Dating Advice

Sign Up for the Free Weekly Flirt  

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Dating Sunday 2020 – Everything You Need to Know

Jan 1st

Dating Sunday 2020 - Cyber Dating Expert

New Year’s Resolutions. Who needs them? When you’re single and desire to change your relationship status, finding love in the New Year is usually on your list, and there’s no better time to get started than Sunday, January 5th. 

Call it being hopeful about the future, call it kicking 2019 and the entire decade to the curb, or chalk it up to a lackluster holiday, any way you dice it, Sunday, January 5th will be the world’s largest digital singles party, and you’re invited to join in on the fun. 

What is Dating Sunday? 

Dating Sunday is an annual tradition in the dating industry, as we get ready for the enormous surge of singles joining dating apps on the first Sunday of the New Year, and if you’d like to fill your date card, you won’t want to miss this.

Related: Dating Sunday Survival Guide

Julie Spira on ABC News – Dating Sunday 2018

Dating Sunday by the Numbers

Match, who initially coined Dating Sunday, expects to see the biggest day in history on their app, with 80% of new singles joining the app on Dating Sunday (up 90% from last year).

They predict the peak minute to be logged will be at 9:15 pm/EST, and during Peak Season, December 26th through February 14th, 60 million will be messages sent, which is 1.5 million messages per day! 

Additionally, Match will see more than 600,000 dates taking place across the US. That’s over half a billion dates, everyone. 

Dating app Inner Circle expects new signups to peak around 7 pm, with the highest activity to spike around 9 pm. Inner Circle predicts a 33% increase in number of matches on Dating Sunday.

David Vermeulen, Inner Circle’s CEO and founder said, “We see a huge spike in activity on the first Sunday of the year as singles start to set new year resolutions and contemplate being single on Valentine’s Day.”

According to dating app Coffee Meets Bagel, over 1 million messages were sent on Dating Sunday in 2019, with January being their most popular month of the year. 

Bumble, where Sharon Stone is now a new member, defines peak season as the time from Thanksgiving to Valentine’s Day and tells the New York Post they expect to see more than 3 million new users join and over 20 million messages sent on their app during this time.

How Can You Make the Most of Dating Sunday?

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we’re busy getting singles profiles perfected in time for Dating Sunday and expect it to be a busy month of matching and dating in January. 

In an interview with USA Today, I provided some suggestions on what to do now to get ready for Dating Sunday.

Start the Decade with a Clean Digital Slate

Since it’s a new year and decade, chances are your photos are making your profile stale. I recommend starting with a clean digital palette, and that means your pictures posted 5+ years ago just won’t cut it. 

Dawoon Kang, CEO of the Coffee Meets Bagel dating app, reports that 80% of singles pass on a profile because of bad photos, and recommends uploading at least three pictures to your profile. By doing so, she says it will increase your chances of being liked by more than 30%!

To make it easy, I suggest going through your camera roll and find some photos that were insta-worthy or ones that you’ve sent via text to friends and loved ones. 

Grab a friend and take new photos with five different looks, or if your budget permits, hire a photographer and a dating coach. Since Pew Research reports that 30% of women have asked for help with their profiles, you want to make sure you make the best impression.

Remember, you’re only as good as your worst photo, so the blurry shots, selfies, and group photos need to go.

As I told BBC radio in a recent interview, wearing sunglasses in your photos gives the impression that you’re hiding something, so let’s look into those gorgeous eyes to capture the essence of the person you’d like to meet.

Caption Your Photos

Singles are still leery of meeting someone in person who won’t look like their photos, so make sure you caption your photos with the year and location, especially the travel shots, as everyone has a dream trip on their bucket list. It’s one of the easiest conversations to start with, when you need to say more than, “hey.”

Update Your Bio

Photos aside, if you’re talking about something you did in 2017, it sends the message that you’ve been online for a long time, and you haven’t had anything exciting happen in your life in a few years.

If you went to a great concert last year, or you’re planning a trip to Macchu Picchu in 2020, add it to your profile. If there’s an interesting art exhibition opening in 2020 that you’d like to see, put it in your bio, as it gives the person reading your profile an easy way to ask you out on a date, over your shared love of art.

Use Multiple Apps

You need to cast a wide net, and with thousands of dating apps available at your fingertips, I recommend starting with three, as it’s the most manageable number. Remember to log on at least twice a day, so the magic dating algorithms have a chance to show your profile more often

For the best and easiest way to fill your date card, stay active for at least one hour every day, with Sunday nights still being the most active time for swiping and matching.

Get Organized

Having the ability to make every conversation and date feel special, starts with being organized and doing your homework before you hop on the phone or meet IRL.We create a spreadsheet at Cyber-Dating Expert for each client, called the signature Date Card. The Date Card keeps you organized and makes sure that someone great doesn’t fall through the cracks.

There’s nothing worse than calling “Danny,” “Jimmy,” or asking your date where they went to medical school when they’re a practicing attorney.

Don’t Play Hard to Get

Now is not the time to be coy and invisible. Communicate with people, exchange phone numbers, and start setting dates to meet.  I can’t stress enough how many people played the waiting game, and by the time they responded to someone they really liked, they found out that person met someone on an app and decided to become exclusive.

CMB’s Dawoon Kang agrees, and says to strike while the iron’s hot. Kang says you’re 52% more likely to get a response if you initiate a chat within three hours of matching.

Answer Questions to Make Better Matches

I’ve always been intrigued by the match percentages on a profile, and answering thought-provoking questions on OkCupid is not only just fun to do, but helps you determine compatibility, and makes it easy to start a conversation.

Melissa Hobley, OkCupid’s CMO told The Hill that climate change teen activist Greta Thunberg, who was named Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year,” actually helped make more matches on their app. OkCupid saw an 800% increase in mentions of Thunberg on profiles in 2019!

“Climate change and your feelings about that show up in your life in so many ways,” Hobley told The Hill. She added, “Climate change and how you feel about that can really help for compatibility.”

It’s a Numbers Game and You Need to Play to Win

When you have millions of messages sent on dating apps, it can be both exciting and overwhelming. The only way that Dating Sunday will work for you is if you commit to chatting online, and then scheduling a date to meet someone offline, and the sooner, the better.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, and has been coaching singles on finding love online for 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook

SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Yes, Sharon Stone IS on Bumble

Dec 30th

Photo Source: Wikipedia

A few weeks ago, I spoke with a single male, who said say he saw Sharon Stone’s profile on Bumble, and of course, he swiped right.

We both realized at that time, that it was indeed the actress Sharon Stone, as she included her home town, real age, and appeared to be a single woman looking for love on the app.

Despite his desire to be matched with the star of the Basic Instinct film star, Stone never swiped right on my friend.

Instead, Bumble got inundated with complaints from other users who believed it was a fake profile. Since most dating apps have a zero-tolerance policy for fake profiles, so Stone’s profile was removed and blocked in error.

Stone posted a photo on Twitter of her notification of being blocked and said,

“I went on the @bumble dating sight [sic] and they closed my account.”

She added,

“Hey @bumble, is being me exclusionary? Don’t shut me out of the hive.”

Sharon Stone did receive an apology from Bumble, and her profile is now back on the app for singles to swipe right on.

Are celebrities on dating apps a new phenomenon? Not at all.

On BBC Radio 5 Live, I was a guest on the Tony and Helen show to talk about celebrities using dating apps. 

Recently Channing Tatum was spotted on dating app Raya, and other celebrities who have used dating apps have included Demi Lovato, Zac Efron, Katy Perry, John Mayer, Lindsay Lohan, Khloe Kardashian, and Hillary Duff. 

Should celebrities be using dating apps? Of course! Today, finding a partner on a dating app ranks as the top way to meet, with a study from Stanford University reporting 39% of heterosexual couples meeting online, and 65% of same-sex relationships began online.

With Dating Sunday, the busiest day for online dating set for December 5, 2020, it’s time to ramp up your profile and log on for love.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of the Internet, has been coaching singles on finding love online and on dating apps for 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

3 Ways to Know if You’re on a Date, or In the Friend Zone

Dec 18th

Photo Credit:

These days, meeting someone online for drinks doesn’t always equate to going on a romantic date. Add in to the equation that many singles tend to go out in groups, so defining dating has become complicated.

Unless you’ve met someone on a dating app, and you’ve stated that you’re looking for a long-term relationship, meeting someone you like or have a crush on for drinks could mean a several things.

From getting together to hang out casually to, expanding your social network or even to talking shop if you met this person in the course of business, unless they lean in for a kiss, you might be in the friend zone, for now.

With all of these possibilities, it might be baffling to know in advance if you’ll be on the same romantic page as the person you’re meeting for happy hour during the week.

Ramp Up Your Flirting Skills 

To know for sure if you’re on a date, notice if there are visible signs of flirting. This could be in the form of sending regular text messages, possibly with a flirt emoticon, letting you know they’re single, and watching their body language to see if they smile when they see you.

Since first dates need to be in a low-pressure environment, I always advise going on a date to expand your social network and also to see if there’s any chemistry. There’s nothing worse than meeting someone you’ve got a crush on, only to find out they have a live-in partner they never mentioned before.

If you’re female, and you’re hoping your upcoming get together will be a romantic evening, make sure you dress up for the occasion. That means to change your outfit from work-mode to something a little flirtier such as a little black dress with a jacket and boots, add a little lipstick, and you’re ready to go.

Be Interested in Your Date

Remember to listen more than talk to find out more about the person you’re meeting for drinks.

Watch for their body language when you arrive. Are you greeted with a hug and a smile, or a handshake with your chair pulled out for you.

Try to limit your alcoholic intake to one drink, and at the end of the date, see if they’d like to get together again. If the person you’re meeting picks up the tab, that’s code for being on an official date, and a great sign if you feel the same.

If they suggest splitting the bill, know that you’re in the friend zone, and be okay with it. You never know if this person has a friend they could introduce you to, so be an exciting date, regardless of the label.

Follow Up When You’re Still Aglow

If you had a great time on your date, send a text the same evening to thank your date for getting together, and to let them know you had a great time and look forward to seeing them again.

Don’t play the waiting game, because the squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. As an early adopter of the Internet, Julie’s been coaching singles on finding love online for 25 years. 

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter for Dating Advice Delivered to your Inbox

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Julie Spira on People – Expert Tips for Staying Safe Online

Oct 29th

Online dating is the easiest way to fill your date card, with almost 40% of couples who say they’ve met online.

With the opportunity to meet so many new people, when you don’t have friends in common, how can you make sure that you’ll be dating safely?

On People, I weighed in with several tips on dating safety. Here’s a short excerpt. To read the full article, click here

How do you know a potential date is real? 

“I think one of the first red flags is about the photo,” Spira says. “If there are no photos, it’s a red flag. If there is only one photo, and they look like a hot model, it’s a red flag.”

In the “predate phase,” Spira tells her clients to use Facebook and Instagram accounts to find mutual friends.

If there are friends and followers in common, “You can then ask your friend if they really know this person to get a digital thumbs up or down before actually accepting a date,” Spira says.

What If They Won’t Meet IRL?

“The point of dating online is actually meeting in person,” Spira says. “It’s not to have a digital pen pal. So, if somebody is canceling or postponing and not making plans to meet IRL, it’s a real problem.”

Where Should You Meet For a First Date?

When it comes to scheduling a first date, you should always meet in a public place. Let a friend know who you’re meeting, and exactly when and where. If you feel uncomfortable for any reason, get up and leave.

There’s nothing more important than being safe on a date, and all of us in the dating industry take safety seriously. If you feel unsafe for any reason, it’s easy to report the person’s profile to the dating app.

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we put safety first. You can read our other safety articles here:

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. Julie’s been coaching singles on finding love online for 25 years. Visit for dating advice, and Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.


Print Friendly, PDF & Email

What To Do If You Get Ghosted on a Dating App

Oct 29th


It doesn’t have to be Halloween for the ghosts to come out on dating apps.

Ghosting, which started as the unpleasant phenomenon on how badly behaved singles broke up without warning, has turned into an epidemic. It’s now the norm, and many make the unilateral decision on how they end a relationship by leaving the “ghostee” without closure.

Regardless of how much chemistry you had while texting, chatting, or even dating IRL, ghosting has hit home for most singles.

A survey from showed that 75% of single daters admitted to ghosting someone they were casually dating, with almost everyone (92%) saying they’ve been ghosted. Ouch.

Our friends at PlentyofFish reported a similar statistic, with 80% of Millennials who said they were on the receiving end of being ghosted.

It’s one of the most popular questions asked in our Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert column.


Why Do People Ghost? 

According to, more than half of singles (63%) admitted they ghosted someone they were dating because they just lost interest in them, while the majority (88%) felt it was easier to ghost someone and disappear than deal with a potentially angry confrontation.

There’s no doubt that ghosting someone is the coward’s way out of a relationship that was about to get to the next step or even a second date.

The problem is, if you’ve met online, chances are you could get matched again, or since you still have their digits, you might reach out to try and get closure.

Texting and calling the ghoster is a huge mistake because if the person wanted to let you know they’ve met someone else, or didn’t see the relationship moving forward, they’d have the guts and courage to call it quits and have the conversation to say it’s over.


How Do you Break Up With Someone Without Ghosting?

If you’ve met on a dating app, unless the person fell in love with someone else they were dating at the same time, your digital paths could easily cross again. For this reason, I strongly recommend pulling your big boy pants up or grab your favorite date dress and schedule a call or date to meet up.

If you’ve been pulling away and texting less, chances are the person you’ve been dating will know that something’s up and could expect a breakup.

My best dating advice in this scenario is as follows:

  1. Schedule a date to meet in person if possible, or a time to talk on the phone. 
  2. Let the person you’ve been sending texts to every morning and night know you’ve enjoyed getting to know them, and especially enjoyed the picnic you had on the beach, or another memorable date. Then pause.
  3. Let them know you’re looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with if finding a serious relationship is your goal. OR
  4. Let them know you’re only interested in a casual relationship and want to date multiple people, if that’s what you desire.


If you’re the one who’s been ghosted, I shared some tips with Elite Daily, including “Remember that the person you’re chatting with is most likely messaging with a dozen or more others, in between swiping to match with another bunch of fresh faces to add the queue.” In other words, patience sometimes is a virtue, and until you define the relationship, know that you might be in rotation, until you’re official and take down your profiles.

So swipe left the next time you see that ghosting fool, because know within your heart that you’re too good to be “Caspered.”

Wishing you much love and joy on Halloween, wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. Julie’s been coaching singles on finding love online for 25 years. Visit for dating advice, and Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.


Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Next Page »