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Put on Your Seat Belts – Break Up Season is Here

Dec 12th

facebook breakup heart If your relationship status isn’t as steady as glue, put on your seat belts as breakup season is here.  Now through Christmas Eve, if you’re in a rocky relationship, as you may become one of the holiday statistics.

The famous Facebook breakup chart from David McClandess, which was released a few years ago, spread like wildfire over the Internet. Based on a study of profile updates with the words “breaking up” and “breakup” it was proven that the two weeks leading up to Christmas showed a peak for those bidding farewell to their current love interest.

Facebook Breakup Chart

Although couples were given ample time to prepare for holiday breakups, we were told that the period of December 11 – 24th would be a peak period for relationships to dissolve. Fortunately, Christmas day isn’t a popular day to say “au revoir” to your beau. The research on Facebook status updates was based on search words for breakup and breaking up.

RELATED: BREAKING UP: 12 SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE GETTING DUMPED

So why has breaking up become such a hot topic this holiday season? The time leading up to a major holiday or event for a couple can be very stressful. Along with birthdays, Valentine’s Day, and anniversaries, the Christmas season is a time where you show the world that you are a couple. It also involves a financial investment, and with today’s economy, many singles aren’t willing to invest in an expensive gift if they know the relationship is about to run its course.

RELATED: FACEBOOK EASES THE PAIN DURING A BREAKUP

Unfortunately, breaking up has become a little too easy to do. Saying goodbye in an email, text, or changing your Facebook status relationship change has become more popular for those who don’t want to get slapped in the face. Don’t be surprised if you find out your current love interest has reactivated their online dating profile in the coming weeks. Then again, sometimes it’s good to say, “Out with the old, in with the new.”

RELATED: DEADLY BREAKUP OBSESSIONS

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Online Dating Profiles. For dating advice, follow Julie on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

RELATED: THE TEXT MESSAGE BREAKUP: WHO’S DOING IT?

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Thanksgiving Quotes to Warm Your Heart

Nov 23rd

It’s Thanksgiving, a time to thank those who mean a lot in our lives and share some gratitude quotes to warm your heart.

Thanksgiving quotes

“Carry a Thankful Heart” ~Julie Spira

 

Thanksgiving Quote
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” ~Oprah Winfrey

Thanksgiving quote

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like unwrapping a present and not giving it.” ~William Arthur Ward

Thanksgiving Quote

“Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart.” ~Seneca

 “Gratitude is when memory is stored in the hart and not in the mind.” ~Lionel Hampton

Thanksgiving Quote

 “Keep calm and gobble on.” ~unknown

Thanksgiving Quote

 

As always, I wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

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Let’s Talk About Food – Zoosk Survey Reveals What Singles Should Order on a Date

Nov 21st

via GIPHY

Let’s talk about food. It’s Thanksgiving week, which means that Christmas will be here in a digital minute.

With all of the food consumption going on during the holidays and with singles dating up a storm in ‘cuffing season,’ our friends at Zoosk decided to survey 7000 singles to gauge their feelings about the most popular food to eat on a date.

If you’re planning on perusing a menu, or cooking up a storm for your date, here are some surprising facts about food and online dating, to help you decide what to order on date night, or write in your profile to get more messages.

Food Fact 1: Guacamole is the Most Popular in a Profile. 

Food - guacamole

While you might think mentioning chocolate would get the most responses, it actually ranked at number three. While analyzing over 3.7 million dating profiles and more than 364 million first messages, those who mentioned “guacamole” in their profile received 144% more messages. Who knew that mashed avocados would be so sexy? In between the guacamole and chocolate, potatoes ranked at number two, with 101% more messages.

Food Fact 2: Fried Chicken and Yams are the Worst To Mention in a Profile.

via GIPHY

If you’ve got a craving for fried chicken or yams, don’t order it on a date, list it in your profile, or cook it for your date. The Zoosk survey found mentioning yams resulted in a 70% decrease in inbound messages, with fried chicken ranking with a 15% decrease.

Food Fact 3: Foodies are Sexy.

via GIPHY

While saying you’re a “foodie” can sound as cliché as “taking a beach” walk or going from “jeans to black tie,” it’s true that the way to a man’s heart is often through his stomach. With that in mind, if you really love unique restaurants and keep up on the latest food trends, say so. The survey found profiles that include the word “foodie” receive 82% more incoming messages, while those who mention the word “cook” receive 26% more incoming messages.

Food Fact 4: Seafood is the Most Popular Food to Order on a Date.

via GIPHY

Have a dinner date? If you love seafood, you’re at the top of the list. The survey showed that seafood ranked the highest at 19% for online daters for their favorite date-night food, while steak came in as a close second at 18%. Does sushi count as seafood? Well, almost. Sushi ranked at number 5 at 8%.

Food Fact 5: Chocolate Covered Strawberries are Still the Sexiest.

via GIPHY

When I cook a romantic dinner, often I will pick up chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. Next to feeding each other crème brûlée, it’s the most romantic dessert I know of, and the Zoosk survey agreed with 34% ranking it as number one. Wine and cheese came in second place at 28%. There’s no need to get too fancy, as caviar ranked at the bottom of the list at 1%.

Click here for complete details on the Zoosk survey.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years.

FIND OUT how Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

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How to ACE Meeting His Adult Kids at the Holidays

Nov 17th

 

Meeting Kids at Holidays

Being in a relationship with someone during your first holiday together can be both exciting, as well as filled with emotions and anxiety.

While meeting someone’s parents is a big deal, meeting your significant other’s children is a bigger deal. It’s quite possible they might have not met another woman besides their mother, and may be examining you with a cautious eye.

If your partner’s divorced or a single dad, chances are he’ll have family commitments that may or may not include you.

Before you start stuffing his turkey or filling his Christmas stocking with something fancy or coal, take a BIG deep breath and follow these tips to ensure they will love you just as much as your guy does.

1. Communicate. Talk to your significant other about logistics. Decide where you’ll be meeting his family and how long you’ll be staying there. Chances are his kids may want to see their friends as well over the holidays and meeting you won’t be as high on their priority list as it is on yours.

2. Control the PDA. While you’re used to being lovey-dovey together, there’s no getting around the fact that his kids will imagine you having sex with their dad. While they want to see him happy, they’d rather visualize the two of you fully clothed. Stick to hand holding and a hug and avoid sitting on his lap.

3. Include Laughter. Nothing will lighten up a potentially stressful situation (ie: meeting the family) than a joke and the ability to smile and laugh. Keep the jokes G-rated, regardless of the everyone’s age. Remember to stay positive and leave your baggage behind. If his kids see you’re a happy person, they’ll project to you making their dad happy as well.

4. Don’t Talk About Their Mom. The kids you’re meeting, even if they’re adult children, will always give their loyalty to their mom. Even if they realize the split was for the best, they will have years-and-years of memories of the family celebrating the holidays together.  Avoid the urge to say something about his ex, even if it’s sharing his mumbling sentiments, or a recent memory that gets brought to the table. They already have a mom and you’re not signing up to be an instant step-mother. Show respect for their mother to avoid any uncomfortable feelings.

5. Bring a Gift. If you’re going to their adult children’s home, bring a thoughtful gift, such as a holiday basket or a candle so you don’t show up empty-handed. Don’t do the complete opposite by smothering them with gifts from a stranger. If the kids are school-age, bring each of them a small gift, so they have something to open.

6. Avoid Taking Photos. Let your boyfriend or his kids be in charge of snapping photos when you meet. His family won’t be sure if you’ll be sticking around, so posting them on social media is a netiquette no-no.

7. Give a Hug. There’s something warm about hugging someone hello or goodbye. If you greet them with a handshake and your get together goes well, leave with a quick goodbye hug to show affection to your boyfriend’s kids, so they can welcome you warmly to the family and be happy for their dad.

Let your boyfriend know you’re excited you are to meet his children and that you’re proud that he thinks enough about your relationship to show that you’re officially a couple.

Remember, he’s nervous that it will go well too. Be genuine and warm.

Wishing you much love and joy at the holidays.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and was an early adopter of the Internet. Julie’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles dating coaching programs.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox

 

Photo Credit: Fotolia

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Dating in a Political World

Nov 8th

Dating in a Trump World

It was one year ago today, when like most others, I was glued to the television watching the results of the Clinton versus Trump election. In my hand, as I sat solo in my family room, was my iPhone. Like others, I was busy texting election results back-and-forth with my friends.

Most of us had expected Hillary Clinton to win the election and it would be a historical day for America to have our first female President.

As the night went on, many of us were stunned as the electoral college results came in. With Florida and Ohio in the Trump camp, shock waves hit across the country and throughout the world.

None of us were prepared for the outcome.

Some were thrilled with the news of Donald Trump becoming the next president, while others literally cried and started to worry about our country.

How this relates to dating is huge.

As a dating and relationship coach, the biggest dating divide I’ve ever experienced in the history has been this past election, along with the year that has passed since election day.

Mashable reports that a single man on Tinder has been using a new technique which he calls “Trumping” to reject dates he’s not interested in anymore.

Dan, the Trumping guy, sends a message to his matches saying he voted for Trump, instead of telling them he isn’t interested, or taking the coward’s way out of ghosting, which has plagued over 90% of millennials.

RELATED: Will Online Daters Support Trump? See What the POF Survey Says

Meanwhile, conservatives are still bashing Clinton and liberals don’t want to date Trump supporters. Being on opposite ends of the political spectrum is a passion that just isn’t sexy in Trump’s America.

Other data shows existing relationships became strained with the election results. I predicted in my Huffington Post column that many relationships would end between Inauguration Day and Valentine’s Day, and now know this to be a fact.

RELATED: Post Inauguration Breakups: Differing Politics Are Destroying Relationships

The truth is, it’s not about being liberal or conservative. It’s not even about who one voted for, as much as it’s about values. Values are the core of what makes a couple click and what helps them stick together during the inevitable bumps on the road.

Whether it’s family values or walls being built, singles have a lot to say these days, with politics topping the list of deal-breakers.

While I think things have calmed down a bit, with singles and couples agreeing to disagree, it’s been a challenging time for the love world.

RELATED: Does Politics Help or Hurt Your Relationship

Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and chief science officer at Match agrees and tell me, “Maybe couples should have a little system of a time out, where one person says one thing.”

An adult time-out. Maybe this will ease the tension of dating in a Trump world.

Here’s how it works.

“He gets two minutes to say that one thing and then the other person gets two minutes to say theirs,” explains Fisher. “Then they go into the bedroom and don’t talk about it, or they go and play a game, or do something to change the brain.”

Fisher believes something as simple as taking a bike ride will bump up the dopamine system and will reduce the pain in your relationship.

From my view, people are definitely more passionate about their political views these days. Watching the news or scrolling through tweets has given us a 24-hour reality show. Having a voice on social media is now a license to post public rants in one direction or another, resulting in the deterioration of many friendships.

How does this relate to love one year later?

For me, I’ve been glued to the news in a more magnified way and I know others feel the same. As a dating coach, I encourage political conversations to be brought to the front in a kind manner, without people attacking each other. If it’s true that love will find a way, remember why you fell in love in the first place.

It’s time to return to the time when a lively debate made an interesting topic for a date.

Let’s not bring war into the bedroom.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles for over 23 years on finding love online.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Photo credit: Fotolia

 

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