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Thought of the Day

Aug 23rd

Game of Love

Do you ever feel like you’re not a priority in your relationship?

When looking for love or a partnership, are you doing all of the heavy lifting?

If so, you’re not alone. These tips to the Game of Love will guide you into being in the right relationship, and steer you away from the wrong one.

In the Game of love, making the other person a priority, means carving out the time to be together.

The togetherness results in creating memories.

Building memories creates bonding.

Communicating, whether by phone, in person, text, or drone, you’re developing and building to stay connected.

In love, if you combine all of these four giving actions, you can wrap it up in one big beautiful red ribbon.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

xo

Follow Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

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Meet Dating CEOs at Silicon Beach Fest

Aug 18th

It’s an honor and joy to put together a panel of female dating CEOs at Silicon Beach Fest, being held at the Marina del Rey Hotel on August 24 – 27th.

Silicon Beach Fest Dating Panel

 

Our panel will include Kelly Steckelberg, CEO of Zoosk; Jennifer Kelton, CEO of BOD Dating App;  Talia Goldstein, CEO of Three Day Rule, and myself Julie Spira, CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert.

The Dating CEO panel will be held at 4pm in the Waterfront Room and you’ll learn all the best tips for dating profiles and hear directly from industry pros.

SPEAKER BIOS

Julie Spira – CEO and Founder, Cyber-Dating Expert

Julie Spira is the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, an online dating coaching, advice and consulting business in the dating industry. As an early adopter of Internet dating and online dating expert, Julie has been coaching singles for over two decades on finding love. Her dating advice has been featured in over 1000 media stories and she’s the author of the bestseller, “The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online,” which was re-released this year on Audible, where she narrated audio book version. Julie is the creator of “Mobile Dating BootCamp” and “Online Dating BootCamp.” Julie graduated from the Park School of Communications at Ithaca College, where she received a B.S. in Television-Radio. She started her career in broadcasting as a media personality. Always on the leading edge of technology, become the first female executive at RKO Radio Networks, the country’s first digitally delivered satellite radio network. She ranks as the most influential person in “dating” and “online dating” on social media influence site, Klout.

Site: CyberDatingExpert.com Twitter @JulieSpira

Talia Goldstein – CEO and Founder, Three Day Rule

Talia Goldstein is the CEO and founder of Three Day Rule. After studying communication at Tulane University, Talia worked as a TV producer at E! True Hollywood Story, where she quickly became the office dating expert, setting up many co-workers with matches and handing out insightful dating advice from her cubicle. Recognizing her hidden talent for matchmaking, Talia quit her full-time job and began hosting popular singles events and offering personalized matchmaking services. Three Day Rule was officially created in 2013, allowing Talia to turn her lifelong hobby of matchmaking into a thriving business. Leveraging her extensive network of successful, attractive singles, Talia has found matches for hundreds of clients, including top executives, entrepreneurs, and everyday young professionals. Among her clients, Talia has been recognized for her strong instinct for what drives lifelong connections between two people. She has made it her mission to help clients on their quest to find true love, and is thrilled that her work allows her to make a difference in people’s lives.

Web: ThreeDayRule.com Twitter: @TaliaGoldstein @ThreeDayRule

Kelly Steckelberg – CEO, Zoosk

Kelly Steckelberg is the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) at Zoosk. Kelly joined Zoosk in March 2011 from Cisco, where she held various roles including divisional CFO positions for the Consumer Segment and WebEx. Kelly joined Cisco through the WebEx acquisition, where she served as Controller, Chief Accounting Officer (CAO). Prior to WebEx, Kelly held executive positions with Epiphany, Inc. and a variety of finance positions at PeopleSoft, Inc. in the U.S. and Europe. She started her career at KPMG in both tax and audit. Kelly holds both a bachelor’s and master’s degree in accounting from the University of Texas at Austin.  In addition to her work at Zoosk, Kelly also serves on the board of Episcopal Community Services of San Francisco (ECS), which helps provides housing, jobs, shelter, and essential services to homeless and low-income people in San Francisco. When not working, she loves to travel and has been to over 60 countries.

Web: Zoosk.com Twitter @ksteckel @zoosk

Jennifer Kelton – CEO and Founder, BOD Dating App

Jennifer Kelton is a dating industry expert and Founder & CEO of the recently launched bod (Bad Online Dates) app. She is also author of the acclaimed dating book, Don’t Use My Sweater like a Towel and creator of dressforthedate.com.  The bod (Bad Online Dates) app is a geo-location-based dating app where users can move on from a bad date and potentially meet someone new, in real-time.

Web: boddatingapp.com  Twitter: @BadOnlineDates

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Quote of the Day

Aug 18th

Quote of the Day:Look into the sky and make a wish.”

The August Full Sturgeon Moon will be visible tonight, August 18th. You’ll also be able to view it on Friday, August 19th.

There’s nothing more romantic than watching the full moon with a date or your significant other. If you can’t be together, you can watch a live stream together and have a digital date. If you’re alone, no need to fret, look up at moon and make a wish. May all your dreams come true.

Full Moon

Follow America’s Top online dating expert  @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Sign up for the FREE Weekly flirt newsletter for dating advice.

Need a little hand holding, find out our our Irresistible Profiles coaching packages will help you find your dream date.

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How to Handle the Dreaded Pull Back

Aug 10th

Ask the Cyberdating Expert Radio ShowOne of our most popular dating advice blog posts, What to Do When He Pulls Back, is still getting a lot of comments.

I get it that so many of you are in such pain and don’t understand it when things are going great, why your boyfriend will disappear, call you less, stop texting, or even take the more drastic action of breaking up.

Our recent comment comes from A. As a dating expert and coach, I can tell you that she’s not alone. Read her relationship problem and feel free to comment.

Dear Julie

Wow! I’ve been researching the web for answers for about a month now and it seems like your article just answered all of my questions.

I’ve dated a guy for 3 months. It seems like he was the one and made me feel like I was the one too. He never said “I love you” but I felt like he was in love… He was texting me at least twice a day, we saw each other every 2 weeks (we had a long distance relationship and he had his son every other week).

He wrote me a beautiful birthday card, I met his son and BAM, a week later, he left just saying he was scared and that maybe, he didn’t love me enough to continue in this relationship. I asked to discuss more but he just disappeared.

Note: he is also getting through some stressful times at work + his last relationship with his son’s mom ended very badly.

A month later, I still haven’t heard from him but I still think he loves me and made a big mistake. I know it was stressful for him and he probably just was overwhelmed. It was a big deal for him to introduce me to his son as well.

Anyways. I am still hopeful. What do you think? Can he realize that it was all about stress? How long can it take? I am slowly moving on but he was “my man” and I still feel that our story is not over…

Thanks 🙂

Dear A.

I’m sorry to hear that you’re guy had to pull back and couldn’t handle a serious relationship with you. Timing is always an important factor in relationships. The trick is to meet the right person at the right time and have a relationship move forward effortlessly.

Unfortunately it’s often not the case. Either someone is in transition from a previous relationship, has work issues that are higher on the totem pole than a relationship, or needs space. You might be the right person at the wrong time. I can’t tell you that for sure, as I’ve never met nor spoken with your now ex-boyfriend.

What I can tell you is that men often need space and time to figure things out without having outside pressure. Also, three months is a critical time for all relationships. I call it the first trimester of love. This is when the honeymoon phase takes place and both  men and women reanalyze their relationship statuses at 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, and one year. Three months is probably the most frequent time that I see people breaking up, deciding they don’t want to step it up to a more serious stage, which does include agreeing to be in a committed relationship, saying “I love you,” and more of a groove.

When a man says “I love you,” outside of the bedroom and afterglow of sex, it’s really a big deal to them. They project to the future and if they aren’t ready, they’ll disappear if they think that’s what you want.

That being said, if he comes to his senses and realizes what a prize you are, he’ll come back. If he said he was scared, he was being authentic and genuine. The guy has his hands full!

The big questions is, will you still be available if and when he returns? At this point, you need to start dating and maybe you’ll even meet someone who’s a better match for you. This can’t happen if you’re pining away for the guy you adored for just three months.

Go and be confident and become available for love. The right person will find you. Your guy just isn’t ready for anything serious, or isn’t ready for anything serious with you. (sorry)

Be grateful that you could have such strong feelings for someone, but if he comes back, it will be because you aren’t needy and he is ready. For now, there’s no reason to chase him or expect your guy to magically come back. There’s no calendar date. He may even meet someone else, but if his feelings for you were stronger, he will realize that by comparison.

I know it hurts. I’ve been there and can tell you, often they do come back. It comes down to a question of timing.

Perhaps if and when he resurfaces, you’ll no longer have a relationship status of “single.” No matter what, don’t chase him. Live your fabulous life and surround yourself with friends and activities. If it’s meant to be, it will be, but he will need to be the one to realize that.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie

Follow dating expert @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter for relationship advice.

 

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August is National Romance Month

Aug 6th

National Romance Month

Although love and romance is a 24-hour a day 7-day a week topic, in the hot steamy month of August, romance does gets an extra boost.

To celebrate National Romance month, here are some uber romantic things to do for your date so they’ll be thinking about you all day long, while waiting for date night.

Here are seven ways to ramp up the romance

Cyber Love
As one who spends a lot of time helping singles with their mobile dating and online dating profiles, I can’t help but stress that logging on and swiping right are one of the simplest ways to think about romance and relationships. When you log in daily, take extra time to compliment someone on his or her outfit. Let them know you think they have an incredible smile and always use their first name if you know it. You’ll be surprised how quickly the boomerang effect will take place. You’ll feel like romance is just a click away.

Digital Foreplay

I’m a huge fan of sending romantic text messages leading up to your date. Sending a fun and flirty morning text message letting your date or significant other know that you’re excited about your date with a few xoxo’s will definitely add some romance to your love life.

Read: 20 Flirty Text Messages to Capture His Heart

Leave a Love Note

There’s something old fashioned and sexy about seeing a surprise love note on your pillow or in your bathroom drawer from the object of your affection. The best part, it’s a keepsake and can be looked at during the days and nights in between your next date.

Smile and be Confident

Believe it or not, you actually feel happier and more confident even when you’re smiling while on the telephone. Nobody can imagine romance with a “Debbie” or “Donnie Downer,” so smile at the grocery store, while standing in line at the bank or waiting for your turn at the ATM, or in an exercise class. You’ll come across as happier and don’t be surprised if a few heads turn.

First Date Rules – Be Proactive for Romance

Being passive on a date doesn’t help you in the romance department. Sure you don’t want to be too aggressive, but a survey from dating site Zoosk showed the squeaky wheel gets the romance deal with 34% of singles finding it most romantic when their date plans a surprise activity for their first date, with 27% liking to hold hands on the first date and 25% actually enjoying it when their date leans in for that first memorable kiss.

Schedule Date Nights

If you already have a steady loved one, you know how often relationships can end up in a rut after the first three months. When the honeymoon period starts to wane, if you’re not dating your mate and creating romantic memories, it’s easy for the relationship to fizzle out. Pick the same day each week and take turns selecting your date spot. You don’t have to break the bank, especially during Romance Awareness Month, as there are plenty of free concerts, where you can bring a picnic basket to or take the beach walk that so many swear they can’t wait to do.

Read: 5 Ways to Create a Great Date Night

Take that Beach Walk

Cliche as it may seem, many singles write that they enjoy taking beach walks on a date. Stop dreaming about it and schedule it with your date. Being barefoot on the beach with your toes in the sand is still the ultimate romantic date.

What romantic rituals help you in your relationship?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Mobile and Online Dating Expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and has been creating Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene for over two decades.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice.

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