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Quote of the Day

Feb 21st

Quote of the Day

Today’s Quote is from Jeremy Taylor. Many of you have seen it before and it’s always worth sharing.

The power of love, friendship and passion are parts of the recipe for a great relationship. Always start with friendship, because no matter what obstacles come your way, friendship is the glue that keeps it all together.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

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The Post-Valentine’s Breakup

Feb 19th

Peril of the Week - The Valentine's Break UpIf you’re feeling a little down after Valentine’s Day, you’re not alone.

Relationships go through peaks and valleys, or seasons and years.

Most couples love new beginnings and take the time to fall in love with each other all over again, whether from traveling to new places, or going down memory lane to where they once met. The other option is calling it quits because someone thinks the grass could be greener, which usually isn’t the case, and they often find it’s temporary.

When your expectations for Valentine’s Day, or any major holiday for that matter are high, it can cause a bump on the road or a full on collision.

RELATED: Gone Fishing or Is it Over?

The famous Facebook breakup chart shows a little bump the day before and the day after Valentine’s Day, as breaking up on Valentine’s Day would be a cruel thing to do with someone you’ve been dating for a long time.

Facebook Breakup Chart

As you can see, the time from Valentine’s to Spring Break are peak times for couples to call it quits, so hold on to your helmets. This phase happens twice a year and it’s going on right now. If you can make it past Spring Break, chances are you’re relationship will last for at least another eight months.

RELATED: Peril of the Week: The Valentine’s Breakup

Whether your relationship was sliding downward for a while, or the ending came as a complete shock, you’re bound to be feeling sad or down right now if you find yourself in this situation. 

There’s a reason why “Spring Fever” sounds like an illness and why April Fool’s Day is on par with a Valentine’s breakup. I you can relate to this, I urge you to communicate with your partner before jumping to wrong conclusions and losing what you’ve built, forever.

If you’re single, had a disappointing Valentine’s Day, or are in the middle of a breakup or divorce, you might be suffering from post-Valentine’s blues.  You may wake up sad in the morning, feel hopeless, and never get the closure you need to move on in a healthy way.

RELATED: 7 Dating Tips for Spring Fever

On the Wellness Universe blog,  Bernadette Smith listed 7 things to do if you’re feeling down after Valentine’s Day. She included sending yourself a “sweetheart card” and mailing it to yourself as something you’d like to receive from someone who loves you, as well as asking someone to hold your box of chocolates in the line at the supermarket, then leave, thus giving them a chocolate gift from the heart. Do things that make you and others feel good. I found her tips empowering and heartwarming.

The main takeaway from the post is the importance of gratitude.

Every night before I go to sleep, I say out loud, the five people I am grateful for. This helps me sleep better at night with a smile on my face. I also have a wish pillow, where I have a handwritten note in it, describing the type of love I want in my life. I have manifested love and the so-called perfect guy, by visualizing how he looked and he magically appeared. On the road map to love, I’ve been though most of the phases, which helps me be a better dating coach to you and to singles starting over, or who are looking for love online and finding it difficult in the crowded digital playground.

We are at a time where love is being replaced by fear and we don’t have to accept that. I encourage and challenge all of you to bring back love to the top of your list, starting with that lipstick on the mirror that says, “I love you.”

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

If you need a little hand-holding, find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find love. We have helped so many singles through our coaching programs and want to give you hope and the tools to start over again.  Your next great relationship just might be a click or swipe away.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and is an award-wining dating coach. She’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

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Julie Spira Talks to KABC TV With 10 Dating Safety Tips

Feb 17th

Everyday can be like Valentine’s Day, since dating and love never go out of style.

A huge thank you to KABC TV in Los Angeles for having me on Eyewitness News to share 10 of my dating safety tips. It’s my goal to help you date safely 365 days out of the year. Keep in mind, most daters have good intentions, but to be safe, follow these rules.

Some of the online dating safety tips include:

  • Facetime, Skype and/or Phone Date – Use technology to make sure you’re not dating a “bot” and to pass the phone chemistry test.
  • Visit Linkedin and Facebook  – See if you have friends in common and ask them to give you the digital thumbs up or thumbs down on your mutual connection.
  • Be Careful of the Country Dates or Emails from a Military – While I know a man from Los Angeles who married a woman from Paris, if someone contacts you from out of the country, use video chat to make sure they are real and check their punctuation. If someone from the military has a sob story and asks you for money, report them to the dating site.

RELATED: 10 SAFEST CITIES IN THE U.S. FOR ONLINE DATING

  • Saying “I Love You” Too Soon – Some people use those three little words that will make you swoon, but if you haven’t met, how can you really be in love? Sure they “get you,” but if they are mirroring your profile and you think they’re too good to be true, perhaps they are.
  • Meet in a Public Place – While it seems logical to meet in a public place, often someone will invite you to their place to “hang out” or “netflix and chill.” All first dates must be in a public place and let a friend know where you’re going and the screen/profile name of your date.

KABC Dating Safety Tips

  • Don’t Get in Anyone’s Car – While it’s chivalrous to be picked up at home, tell your date if they offer to do so, that you’d like to save that for the second or third date.
  • No Late Night Dates – With mobile apps, you can meet someone almost instantly 24 hours a day. If someone suggests a first date after 9pm, take a pass. That screams “booty call” and you don’t know if someone else was the dinner date, while you’re becoming dessert.
  • Don’t Sext Before Meeting – A Match Study showed that 34% of singles are actually having sex BEFORE they meet.  Millennials up that number to 48%! Remember, anything you text can be shared and if it doesn’t work out, chances are it will. My rule of thumb is, if you don’t want your parents, children, or boss to see your text, then don’t push the send button.
  • Let Google Be Your Best Friend – With my dating coaching programs, I conduct a Google search for email addresses, photos, and phone numbers. While I don’t believe in kissing and telling, I also don’t believe in googling and telling. Sneak a peek and be a cyber-sleuth and if something seems very off, cancel the date.
  • Limit Your Drinking on a First Date – If you’re out for dinner or drinks and are having a great time, instead of ordering a second drink or going home, order a club soda instead. Getting intoxicated on a date could lead to problems you might regret in the morning.

RELATED: Online Dating Expert Julie Spira Named Best Dating Coach at iDate Awards

Remember, how you act offline when meeting someone new is the same as how you should act online. Be safe and enjoy the ride.

Happy dating and I wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

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10 Best U.S. Cities to Find Love This Year

Feb 15th

Love knows no boundaries

“Love knows no reason, no boundaries, no distance. It has a sole intention of bringing people together to a time called forever.” ~Unknown

When I coach singles who are looking for love online, they limit themselves by searching maybe 15 miles from where they live. I actually had one client who only wanted to search 5 miles from Beverly Hills. When I reminded her that the airport was further than 5 miles away and she’d be happy to meet a cute guy on the plane, I convinced her to change her geographic parameters.

Whether you’re single and hoping to find your soulmate, or just want to find companionship and are open to having a long distance relationship, this list of the best cities from Zillow, may make you reconsider changing your zip code on your online dating profile, or widen the search parameters on your favorite mobile app.

See Infographic Below

RELATED: Digital Dating: Tips for Long-Distance Love

Best Cities for LoveZillow took a list of new single residents moving to a metropolitan city, their median income, and a peek at the number of spots that were good to meet a date per 10,000 residents.
The results were heavily weighed towards the East Coast and Mid-West, while the West Coast (Los Angeles, San Francisco and San Diego) didn’t make it to the list this year.

Here’s where you should consider moving to, if your job and family aren’t tying you to the city you reside in.

  • Boston, MA –  This collegiate city has 66% of singles, with 159 date spots.
  • New Orleans, LA – Not just a Mardi Gras party town, they’ve ranked at 59% of singles.
  • Indianapolis, IN – Even on a non- racing day, this town has 56% of singles with 30 date spots.
  • Richmond, VA – Known for their street art, this city has 54% of singles with 30 date spots.
  • Louisville, KY – Headed to the Derby? Maybe you’ll want to stay, with 54% of singles and 29 date spots.
  • Memphis, TN – A visit to Graceland might convince you to hang around longer, with 57% of singles and 20 date spots.
  • Providence, RI – Little Rhode Island’s Capitol has 53% of singles and 49 date spots.
  • Cleveland, OH – Cleveland rocks, plus they have 53% of singles and 27 date spots.
  • Las Vegas, NV – The former “Sin City” has become a hot place with the best restaurants around. Plus they’ve got 54% of singles and 21 date spots.
  • Milwaukee, WI – A visit to Lake Michigan might find you one of 53% of singles at 25 date spots.

Zillow, who’s in the real estate business, reports that the majority of new home owners are married. So my advice is to cast a wide net before you put a ring on it, or decide to couple up and go house hunting.

RELATED: Would You Move for  Love?

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Zillow - Best Cities for Love

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Quote of the Day

Feb 13th

Quote of the Day

Love knows no boundaries

“Love knows no reason, no boundaries, no distance. It has a sole intention of bringing people together to a time called forever.” ~Unknown.

While looking for love online, remember to cast a wide net and change your zip code. People move for love all of the time. Your next love just might be a zip code, state, or country away.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook for Dating Advice

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