In honor of Valentine’s Day, SiriusXM radio host of Dot Complicated, Randi Zuckerberg decided to add some musical fun and humor to our online dating segment.
Joined with Broadway star Aaron Finley, the two sang their hearts out to the tune of “Summer Nights” from Grease.
As a radio show guest, I was humming in the background from Los Angeles with a smile on my face and shared 7 tech gifts for your Valentine.
Yes, with online dating, there are so many apps and sites. Sometimes you need to laugh about the digital dating process. From Christian Mingle to Farmers Only; Tinder to Uber Pool, this song’s got you covered.
As you swipe right, listen to this adorable “Dot Complicated” original song about Internet dating written by Randi Zuckerberg and Eric Kuhn. Since there are so many dating apps, sometimes you need to have a sense of humor about finding love online.
In the show, we talked about online dating profiles, mobile dating apps, confidence in dating, and which profile photos will capture his or her attention.
You can listen to this Valentine’s radio segment in its entirety on SiriusXM on:
Saturday, February 13th at 9pm ET/6pm PT on Stars channel 109
Sunday, February 14th 10am ET/7am PT on Business Radio channel 111
(Song courtesy of SiriusXM and available to listen to on SoundHound)
Follow Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice
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Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, just re-released and completely revised for Valentine’s Day with new bonus dating advice and a magical epilogue with a fairy tale ending.
I think I got ghosted. I met a great guy at a family wedding. He approached me we spoke for a few hours he asked me out, but I couldn’t go the next day so he asks me for my number.
The twist here is he lives in another state and after he went back next day he disappeared for a week after telling me he wants to come back next month .
I text him and he seems very happy. He calls, we talk for an hour or so, and he tells me he wants to move to my state. Then he vanishes and doesn’t answer my texts.
I give about a week and a half and write, “hey how r u” and he responds normally and everything seemed to be OK. We text a few weeks later, then once again he disappears.
Apparently he told his family that I’m great and cute and have a good personality, but we live far away and he is not ready for a relationship that’s long distance. Being the great over thinker I am, I text him and ask if he can call so we can talk.
He calls and says he thought everything was ok. Really? He said he might come back after he finishes school in a few months. I am honestly really annoyed that he promised me all those things and then backs out and no contact. What really bothers me is that I still think about it, and wonder, will he ever come back??
Side note there was family involvement so maybe he got scared of that. because his mom said he wanted to pursue the relationship, but not now. Then she speaks to him again and he says he doesn’t want to think about anyone right now and is concentrating on school.
First the family was in support of our relationship. Now they’re not. What should I do?
Was she Ghosted?
As a dating expert, I can tell you, I don’t think you were really ghosted by this guy. You actually weren’t in a relationship. Sure, you clicked at a wedding and had fun. Yes, his family thought you were great and gave a thumbs up. But in reality, he doesn’t live near you and he needs to finish concentrating on school and his education.
He wasn’t your boyfriend who disappeared. He was an out-of-town guy that you connected with at a wedding, which is fun-filled and filled with love.
He never promised to be your boyfriend and you had a casual texting relationship His signs make it clear that he isn’t interested in a relationship. By leading you on and continuing to text you, he will give you mixed messages that you’re his girlfriend, which unfortunately you’re not.
Between school and distance, he doesn’t have time for you. I know you wish this was more of a relationship, but it’s not.
My best advice to you is to consider him an acquaintance. Try to find someone you can connect with that lives closer to you and truly wants to have a relationship.
When someone ghosts, they’re in a relationship and then poof, disappear. So if you want to be friends, send a friendly text every few weeks. This is a no-pressure way to stay in touch, without havin ghim feel obligated to be in a relationship he can’t sustain.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
Do you have a question for Online Dating Expert Julie Spira? Send them here
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years.
Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, newly revised for 2016.
Geography used to be a barrier to the success of long distance relationships. These days technology can be our best friend when it comes to matters of the heart. Singles are dating online across town, across the U.S. and even in other countries.
So plug in your iPhones, set up your tablets and computers, and let’s get creative. It’s Valentine’s week and time to plan in advance to keep that spark alive.
If you and your long distance love can’t be in each other’s arms this Valentine’s Day, here’s your check list on what to do to make that day special for both of you.
1. Special Delivery
When in doubt, send flowers. Nothing will put a smile on her face more than receiving flowers, but did you know he might be flattered with a special delivery package as well? Go online and find something unique he’d like, that you know he wouldn’t buy for himself. Our list of 7 tech gifts for Valentine’s has a cross-section of items he might enjoy in a variety of price ranges. Is he a golfer? Send a gift certificate for a round of golf. Does he ski? Order new ski pants or send a lift ticket. He’ll be happy when he opens the door.
2. Schedule a Skype or Facetime Dinner Date
If you can’t be with your one-and-only cheek-to-cheek, dress up for the occasion, whip up a fun meal, and dine together with the help of your webcam. Ladies, make sure to wear red and pucker up with some shiny lip gloss. If you did receive flowers from your BF, place them next to you so he can see what he ordered. Swap recipes in advance and let one of you be responsible for the appetizers, while another decides on the main course. At the end of the date, remember to have a romantic dessert. One of my favorites is in our Love Potions: Stuffed Strawberries with Dark Chocolate. You’ll both fall asleep with smiles on your faces, guaranteed.
3. Make a CD Mix or playlist
Music and romance are a winning combination. One way to show you care is to take the time from your busy day to create a music list and send it electronically to your date. If he or she still likes CDs, mail a gift-wrapped CD to their home. It’s a great way to show that you love them. Your Valentine will think of you every time they listen to it, so it’s a gift without an expiration date, in between the times you get to see each other IRL.
4. Remember to put a stamp on it
Write a love letter and mail it to them, snail mail. Your Valentine will have a permanent keepsake and there’s something uber romantic about a hand-written card with a stamp on it. Call me old-fashioned, but love letters will never go out of style.
5. Say “I Love You”
How do I love thee. Let me count the ways. There’s no limit to the amount of times you should let your S.O. know you love them. Should you text or call? I say do both. Send a text early enough to wake him or her up in the morning. Follow it up with a call or voicemail message wishing them a “Happy Valentine’s Day.” Then it’s off to your Skype date in the evening.
6. Have a Movie Marathon
Watching a rom-com in each other’s arms can give you that warm and fuzzy connected feeling. But what happens when you’re in a LDR? I say keep that movie night on the calendar. Pick a romantic comedy to watch together, while apart. Head over to Skype or FaceTime, grab some snacks, and enjoy a movie date together. If you’d rather binge watch your favorite TV series, no need to fret. Netflix has released a survey showing your love and affection together, as it relates to the way you binge watch. Need more deets? Check it out.
7. Send a Care Package
Nothing screams TLC in a better way when you’re far away, than sending your Valentine a care package in advance. What should you include? Anything romantic. Candles, lingerie, chocolate, music, a hand-written love note, framed photos of the two of you, or something you know that will make him or her smile. Remember to send it in advance, or go for a 2-day delivery. Valentine’s is on a Sunday this year, so your package will need to be received by Friday.
If all else fails, you can always plan a surprise visit. It doesn’t get much better than that. Our friends at PlentyOfFish shared a video with us, about how they brought together a long-distance relationship couple, Kristen from New Jersey and Johnny from Pennsylvania. POF flew them to Vancouver for a romantic Valentine’s Day, claiming they recognized the remarkable strength and fortitude of couples who navigate the highs and lows of long-distance relationships. As Kristen says, “Love is really is greater than distance.”
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace this Valentine’s Day, or wherever you may roam. xo
Looking for love online?
Check out our completely revised edition of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, released for Valentine’s Day. This 2nd edition is available digitally on Amazon on Kindle and in an audio book on Audible and Amazon and includes a new epilogue with a romantic twist and a fairy tale ending.
Looking for Love Online?
A new Pew Research Center study was released in time for Valentine’s with good news for daters both young and old. Your chances of finding a date or a soul mate have increased dramatically just in the past two years.
A new Pew Research Center study among 2,001 adults from June 10-July 12, 2015, has found that online dating has nearly tripled for singles 18-24 and more than doubled for singles 55-64.
Largest Users of Online and Mobile Dating are Young Americans 18-24
According to the survey, young Americans 18-24 now make up the largest percentage of users to online dating sites and mobile dating apps, with most of them using mobile dating apps that weren’t around when the survey was taken two years ago.
Attitudes Towards Online Dating Continue to be Favorable
The good news is that 80% of those who have used online dating sites agree that online dating is a good way to meet people. Say goodbye to the stigma and hello to finding love online. At Cyber-Dating Expert, we’ve been coaching singles from college-age to baby boomers for years now, so we are pleased to see the research back up our own work.
Some of the reasons for the growth in acceptance to online dating is that it allows singles to find a better match by meeting a lot of people, and it has become an efficient way of meeting someone new.
We know that Tinder has led the way for mobile dating app use for singles 18-24, who are constantly attached to their smartphones. We know they often swipe right, without paying attention to the photos on the screen. Yet, if you ask any single person now, they’ll be comfortable in letting you know that they are using a mobile dating app.
The Whole Family is Dating Online Now, Well, Almost
What’s interesting to note is that their single or divorced parents are looking for love online now in record numbers as well. With many baby boomers becoming single by divorce or the death of a spouse, they are finding online dating a source of hope in getting back out there in the dating world, a world where mobile apps didn’t exist while they were raising their kids.
So if you’re at the dining room table and you’ll probably notice that both mom and her kids are swiping left and right to fill their date cards.
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If date night consists of binge watching Breaking Bad or Orange is the New Black with your date, you’re not alone.
Netflix released the results of a survey of 1,008 American Netflix users between the ages of 18 and 29 to find out what Netflix meant in their relationship with their significant other. According to the results, 25% of people get “Show Goggles” and find their crushes or significant others more attractive based on the shows they watch.
Compatibility is also very important, not just in your relationship, but in your show preferences. 27% insist that show compatibility is very important, which makes a lot of sense. If your S.O. won’t binge Archer with, how are you supposed to be together?
So how do you know if you’ll be binge watch compatible? For starters, post your favorite TV shows in your online dating profile to see if you have shows in common with a potential date. With over 1/2 of those surveyed using TV show titles to attract a date, make sure to use those keywords where you can, including listing the show on the 6 things you can’t live without on OkCupid, or stating it in your Match or POF profile.
Making Your Relationship “Netflix Official”
I’ll admit, my ex-boyfriend and I had a Netflix love affair. I still have the password to his account and with his permission am able to continue viewing shows as my leisure. A majority of respondents (51%) agreed that sharing a Netflix password means that the relationship is serious, while 17% won’t share a password until they’re engaged.
Date Night Decisions
Staying in and watching Netflix together is a great way to spend a casual date night. Over 1/2 of those surveyed said they use Netflix as a way to bond with their significant other.
If you’ve ever negotiated over shows with your boyfriend or girlfriend, know that you’re not alone. 65% of respondents engage in negotiations over which show to watch, and 35% trade show for show.
Remember: Couples that stream together, dream together.
Infographic courtesy of Netflix. View full infographic here.
Newly released: Our completely revised edition of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Now available as an audio book in Audible and on Kindle. Listen to the magical epilogue with the fairy tale ending to help you believe in love.