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Dating Advice – 5 Ways to Heal When Your Ex Moves On

Jul 14th

Celebrity relationships were all the buzz this week. As the guest dating expert on “Access Hollywood Live,” I joined Natalie Morales and Kit Hoover to talk about dating, love, Jay-Zee big confession about his marriage to Beyonce, and Ben Affleck’s public appearances with his new girlfriend, SNL producer Lindsay Shookus.

RELATED: Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus – Dating Expert Julie Spira Weighs In

With Affleck showing off his new relationship status, the question was asked, “what do you do when your ex moves on?”

Since just about everyone can relate to a heartbreak, we did a deep dive on how Hollywood celebs, or the girl next door should cope post-breakup when your ex finds a new girlfriend.

Here are the 5 tips I shared with Access Hollywood Live

1. Do a Digital Detox

Julie Spira - Access Hollywood

“The first tip is do what I call a digital detox. Even if you’ve said, ‘Okay, we’re going to stay friends when you break up,’ it’s really hard to just move into that friend zone. What happens is you start to become a stalker and you just can’t help yourself. So don’t do that. Block them and unfriend them on Facebook. You can always become friends again once the dust has settled and you both have moved on. Staring at other the other people at you and your sweetheart’s favorite restaurant that you used to go to for your anniversary is just something that is going to sting.”

2. Don’t Compare and Contrast

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“It’s so easy to fall into that trap of comparing yourself to the new girl. You may ask yourself, is she prettier? Does she have nicer clothes? Is she better in bed? Is she smarter? Is she sexier? You get into this trap, and it’s really bad because what happens is, your brain starts to trick you into thinking that comparing yourself to this person is natural. You need to your own individuality. You don’t really know that she’s good at anything other than being the next girl.”

3. Practice Self Love

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“Self-love really is number one. One of these tips that I use with the singles that I coach is if you’re going through a break-up, get dressed up, looked good, stand in front of your mirror and say, ‘You are the the prize,’ and repeat it, ‘You are the prize.’ Eventually, you will believe it. The more that you can love yourself and go out and do good things for yourself, like workout more, maybe lose that weight you want to, take up a yoga class, or take up a new hobby, the more you will become more dateable.”

4. Avoid the Rebound Relationship

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“We see more rebound relationships with men than with women. Women tend to hang out with their girlfriends and, of course, talk about their ex. Just because he might have moved on in a split second doesn’t mean that you need to do the same. I really feel that– having a replacement boyfriend immediately, can often backfire. It might not be a good fit for you, and then you’ve got to get over two break-ups.”

5. Get Out and Live Life!

Julie Spira - Access Hollywood

“I always say that take that covers off your head. Think about the books and magazines that might have been stacking up and start reading them. Maybe go under a palm tree and read a magazine, or if you actually once thought you might want to write a book, start penning that book and writing down your thoughts. Journal about your break-up because the more you read and write it, the more healing it is. Remember, there’s a reason that you broke up and that this person is now your ex. I always say, “Knock him off that pedestal right now.”

RELATED: Jay-Z and Beyonce – Dating Expert Julie Spira Weighs In

Julie Spira is a celebrity dating coach, relationship expert and online dating expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter

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Jay-Z and Beyoncé – Dating Expert Julie Spira Weighs In

Jul 14th

Access Hollywood Live - Julie Spira

Jay-Z and Beyoncé. The perfect Hollywood romance, or is it?  We love to watch love in Hollywood unfold, feel betrayed when there’s a bump in the road, and watch with enthusiastic eyes when there appears to be a Hollywood Happily-Ever-After story.

On Access Hollywood Live, this story aired and as a dating and relationship expert, I was asked to join hosts Natalie Morales and Kit Hoover to talk about their relationship.

Jay-Z dropped a bomb in his mini-documentary

Jay-Z made a big confession in a mini-documentary for his new album, 4:44, and said his relationship with Beyoncé wasn’t based on truth. In a video played on Access Hollywood Live, this is what Jay-Z said:

Jay-Z: “I just ran into this place and we built this big beautiful mansion of relationship. I mean, that wasn’t totally built on 100% truth, and then it start cracking, and then things start happening that the public can see. You know what I’m saying? And then we had to go to a point it’d be like, “Okay, tear this down and let’s start from the beginning.” By far, and I’m telling you, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

When asked what I thought about it and if a couple could get over infidelity, I explained, 

“Every relationship takes a lot of work, but when you’re in the public eye and you’re a celebrity, people look for the little cracks in relationship. They look to see if something is wrong. Now, we’ve got a confession – and a very public confession. It’s going to take a while to rebuild, and both parties seem to want to rebuild this relationship. Again, this confession is very public. It will sting, it will sting for a while.”

When asked if Jay-Z’s public admission would make her or women in general, forgive quicker, I replied with:

“Forgiveness is something that we all need to practice. It’s just a question of building trust. Really, we’re building that trust.”

Beyonce and Jay-Z
By the end of the week, Beyoncé posted a photo of her twins for the first time on Instagram. Yes, Hollywood couples go through big public bumps in the road and we hope for nothing but happiness for Jay-Z, Beyoncé, and their family.

Next up, we chatted about Ben Affleck’s new public romance with SNL producer Lindsay Shookus, after the couple appeared together regularly in New York and Los Angeles.

Julie Spira is a celebrity dating coach, relationship expert, and online dating expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter

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Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus – Dating Expert Julie Spira Weighs In

Jul 14th

Ben Affleck Romance - Julie Spira Weighs inHeartthrob Ben Affleck has moved on, so how should Jennifer Garner feel about it?

Access Hollywood Live has been following the story of Ben Affleck’s new romance with SNL producer Lyndsay Shookus, and I was asked to weigh in on their public appearance

ACL hosts Natalie Morales and Kit Hoover asked me if if was too soon for the couple to become official.  After all, Jen and Ben only filed for divorce three months earlier.

Will Ben Affleck’s New Relationship Last?

While I don’t have the crystal ball and everyone deserves to find love and happiness after a divorce or a split, it’s too soon to know whether it will last. The couple appears to be happy and in the honeymoon phase of their relationship.

The reality is, men do typically move on more quickly then women. Men often overlap and go from relationship-to-relationship, often grabbing onto a rebound relationship quickly, while women tend to mourn and take the time to grieve the ending of a romance that didn’t go the distance.

As told to Access Hollywood Live,

“That doesn’t mean the new relationship will last forever. It really doesn’t even mean your ex has upgraded. It just means they’ve found a replacement person, for now.”

So how does someone go on (like Jennifer Garner), when you see your ex in a new relationship? In Jennifer’s case, it’s very public, however these days, everyone’s relationship statuses are public because of social media. The world wide web is filled with social media celebrities who chat IRL with Hollywood celebs in a digital world.

Page Six reports that Garner isn’t too happy with the news of Affleck’s romance. The new couple have been seen all smiles in Los Angeles.

I told Access Hollywood Live,

“Even if your sweetheart is on vacation thousands of miles away, you’re going to see it online or on Facebook, and you’re going to think, ‘My gosh, it’s happening right in my living room.’ It really does sting when you see it so publicly.”

RELATED:  5 Ways to Cope When Your Ex Starts to Date

Julie Spira is a celebrity dating coach, relationship expert, and online dating expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter

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Pucker Up – It’s National Kissing Day

Jul 6th

5 Ways to Create a Great Date Night - Cyber Dating ExpertPucker up! It’s National Kissing Day, so if you’re still on a high from Fourth of July fireworks, there’s no need to let the flame sizzle.

Every year on July 6th, singles and couples will have a good excuse to become more romantic and flirty for this annual holiday. It’s time to get creative, both on the lips and in the desired location of that memorable kiss.

In honor of International Kissing Day, our friends at online dating site Match have partnered up with Colour Pop with a “Kiss + Tell” Survey, which showed that 84% of singles really enjoy kissing, with most experiencing their first kiss between the age of 13 – 16.

Other kissing survey results include:

Ideal Kiss

The TOP 3 spots to be kissed?

  • At sunset (48%)
  • Moonlight stroll (46%)
  • The beach (37%)

How long is the perfect kiss?

  • 20 % of singles agreed that 10 seconds is the amount of time for the ideal kiss.
  • 70% of singles say BAD BREATH has definitely ruined a kiss.
  • 70% of singles say a bad first kiss is NOT a deal breaker.
  • 75% of single women and 53% of single men say they CLOSE their eyes during a kiss.
  • The second most romantic place to be kissed is on the neck.

Lipstick Rules!

  • Nearly 1/3 (30%) of single women say they’ve actually had more success landing a first kiss while wearing lipstick!
  • Nearly 1/3 (30%) of single men say a great make out is when they have a woman’s lipstick on their face.

Celebrity Kisses
Women:

  • Kanye vs. Drake: DRAKE (86%)
  • President Trump vs. Former President Obama: OBAMA (82%)
  • Prince William vs. Prince Harry: HARRY (64%)
  • Chris Hemsworth vs. Liam Hemsworth: LIAM (58%)
  • Dev Patel vs. Aziz Ansari: DEV (58%)
  • Ryan Reynolds vs. Ryan Gosling: REYNOLDS (52%)
  • Brad Pitt vs. George Clooney: BRAD (51%)

Men:

  • Taylor Swift vs. Miley Cyrus: TAYLOR (82%)
  • Gigi Hadid vs. Bella Hadid: GIGI (60%)
  • Jessica Alba vs. Jessica Biel: ALBA (60%)
  • Kim Kardashian vs. Khloe Kardashian: KHLOE (55%)
  • Beyonce vs. Rihanna: RIHANNA (55%)
  • Emma Watson vs. Emma Stone: STONE (51%)

Top 3 TV show hosts singles would want to kiss:

Women:

  1. Jimmy Fallon (28%)
  2.  Ryan Seacrest (22%)
  3. Trevor Noah (18%)

Men:

  1. Megyn Kelly (35%)
  2. Kelly Ripa (28%)
  3. Savannah Guthrie (11%)

National Kissing DayIn honor of National Kissing Day, Match and Colour Pop created limited edition lipstick, Mwah, a raspberry red ultra-matte lipstick, plus $1 of each lipstick purchased will be donated to GLAM4GOOD Foundation, for only $6.

Check out these special lipsticks here: ColourPop.com/mwah

If you’re away from your sweetheart, remember to send a few digital hugs and kisses XOXO’s via text on your mobile phone to celebrate International Kissing Day. Remember that a goodbye kiss can be more important than the hello kiss and leave a wonderful memory to the end of your date.

What’s your kissing style? Do you have your own kissing dos and don’ts? A dream spot for that first kiss?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter

 

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5 HOT Dating Tips for Summer Love

Jun 29th

Summer Heart

There are many reasons why having a summer romance has become a popular trend. The weather is warm, your outfits show more bare skin, it’s bikini weather and beach volleyball time, chemisty is proven by science to heighten in the sunshine, and the list goes on.

With Fourth of July around the corner, it’s time to think about the fireworks in the sky and in your relationship.

Here’s how to have a sizzling hot summer filled with love and romance online and IRL

 1. Change your mobile dating app and online photos to include outdoor shots

Replace the winter ski photos, with boating, water, golfing, hiking, and anything that includes sunshine.

2. Start Using Emoticons and GIFs in Your Messages

 Many mobile apps including Tinder and Bumble include the option to use giphy, which is a lot of fun. If you seem like a fun person to be around, you will get more matches and your date card will start filling up.

 3. Host a Barbecue

Barbecue

Invite your single friends and ask them to bring another single friend. Grilling is fun and guys love taking charge at the BBQ. Make it a pot luck event and start getting out IRL.

RELATED: 10 ABSOLUTELY Fun Dating Ideas for Summer

4. Change Your Relationship Status to Single on Facebook

Facebook Relationship Status

You might still be recovering from a breakup, but facebook could be the world’s largest dating site if they wanted to be. Change your relationship status and you might find a secret crush emerging. Be open to the possibilities.

RELATED: When to Change Your Facebook Relationship Status

5. Log on Twice a Day to Dating Apps and Sites and Reply Promptly

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I have a saying, “the squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.” Ditch those old waiting rules and remember, when someone joins a dating site or mobile app, it’s because they want to meet someone. If you wait around a day or two, don’t be surprised if you hear back that they’ve met someone and want to date exclusively. Don’t underestimate chemistry. When a couple clicks, they often stop dating to see where the relationship will go.

At the end of the digital day, smile as bright as the sun to find a great reflection called love.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

 

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