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SIZZLE REEL

Jan 30th

Online Dating Expert Julie Spira Media Reel

As Featured in/on Over 1500 News Stories

Book Julie at 310-433-7786 or info@cyberdatingexpert.com

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for Dating Advice

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Have You Heard about Free.Date? Here’s How it Works

May 22nd

This is a sponsored post by FreeDate. 

With dating app usage on the rise during the coronavirus, and stay-at-home orders continuing to extend, it’s time to look at adding a new site to your arsenal.

Free.Date, describes themselves as a completely free dating site. They’ve got over 300,000 registered users, and there’s no freemium to premium model for members on their website.

Their founder explains that their site was created for the user experience, and they believe their service is unique in the world of free dating sites.

Their platform is based on an advertising model that runs with Google Ads so that you can leave your credit cards behind.

Here’s a tutorial on how to use Free.Date

Sign Up

Signing up is simple. Visit their website, where your options are to sign up using Google or to log in with your email address.

For using Google, click on the social login button, which will direct you to the registration page.

For Email sign up, you’ll need to include your birthday, gender, a valid email address, pass through the Recaptcha, and then start filling out your profile. You’ll get an email confirmation, and will need to confirm your email address to complete your registration.

Once you complete your registration, then you can start using the site.

Users can update personal details such as username, password, location, age, who you’re interested in, and your about section. You’ll also need to upload a minimum of three profile photos.

Here’s a tour of the site.

Home – The home section after login shows you profiles of users from the city and state where you registered when you signed up.

Edit Profile – Once you’ve created your profile, you can update it to change your location, photos, and About section. There are 30 boxes you can check to describe your profession or astrological sign.

Search – The fun part about the search feature is you can search for registered users in any city or another part of the world.

States – Users can explore American singles across the U.S.A.

Mail – The inBox and Outbox are separated, allowing users to check both sent messages and those they receive.

Pledge – The pledge section encourages users to follow the correct actions while using free.date. They have photo policies to help you feel safe, including messaging, and reporting users if necessary.

Members Online – This feature allows registered users to view the available members currently online.

FAQs – A place for all questions related to the site, including how to join, message, upload pictures, use their features, and report inappropriate users.

Free.Date

Settings – In settings, you can change your username, update your email address, change your password, and email preferences.

Match Me – This advanced feature option is available to all registered users.

Highlights

  • Send Free Messages to other profiles.
  • Unlimited Winks, Add Favorites, and Meet Me.
  • Search Singles from various regions (Australia to United States).
  • Find Profiles who are interested in Female, Male, or Female-to-Female and Male-to-Male matches.

Unregistered or guest users can still explore the site using search functions while looking at profiles from different cities, as listed in their footer.

Conclusion: Is it worth trying?

Free.Date is a genuine free dating site that stays true to its promise. User profiles and transparency is what makes them unique and attracts thousands of users every day.

You can feel safe when accessing their site since it uses a secure SSL connection.

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When Should I Talk About My Ex, or Should I?

May 15th

 
Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert - Ex
 
The question of reaching out to an ex during the pandemic is a popular one at Cyber-Dating Expert, but what do you do if you’ve met someone new, and you keep bringing your ex to the table? 
 
There’s always been an unspoken rule in dating that talking about your ex is an off-limits subject on a first date, or especially during the early days of dating.
 
It’s a huge turn-off to your new partner because it sends the message that you’re possibly not over your ex, or you’re playing the comparison game. No one wants to walk on eggshells with you, so refrain from talking about the ex, so you and your new partner can start with a clean slate, and you don’t end up in a complicated love triangle.
 
It’s not necessary to talk about an ex, but somehow these default questions frequently come up of, “So how long have you been single,” or “How long was your last relationship?” Just because someone asks, it doesn’t mean they genuinely want to know the answer. It falls into the category of asking how many people have you slept with. You know your answer will be judged as having too many, or not enough. I believe the same holds true with constant banter about someone from your past.
 
 
Still, you might run into your ex if you have mutual friends or might even be good friends with a previous partner.
 
If that’s the case, you should let your date know that you’re proud that you’ve been able to keep a healthy friendship with your ex, but there’s no chance of reconciliation. 
 
This conversation should only come up if you know you’re in a promising relationship, where you’ve agreed to be exclusive, and if you travel traveling in the same circles as your ex.
 
If you’re going to attend a birthday party, holiday gathering, or will be on the same virtual happy hour together, it’s best to let your partner know your ex will be at the same event. 
 
You should always avoid bashing your ex, or complaining about your sexual life because your partner will assume you could say the same about them. 
 
The conversation about the ex will come up at some point, and I firmly believe the best approach is to say they’re an ex for a reason, or the relationship ran its course, but you’re still cordial.
 
When you talk about an ex with someone new, it comes across as baggage that you’re still carrying. I believe in taking the high road, not pointing out all of the flaws in your past relationships, and instead praise the things you like about your new relationship. Let your new boo know how grateful you are that you’ve met theme, and are happy they’re at your side. 
 
If you’re directly asked about your past history or an ex early on in your relationship, I believe you should change the subject, or say something flirty such as, “An ex? I thought you were my first.”
 
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 25 years. Find out how the Dress Rehearsal service will help you get ready for your virtual dates, and FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram
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Confidence Dating

May 15th

Do you talk to your friends about frustrations with your love life? Do you feel better after you’ve shared your woes with them?

If so, check out Confidence Dating. It’s a new blog created by Iman Llompart, where experiences and lessons are learned to help you feel less alone.

Iman believes when you share your relationship stories, others will feel helpful and it leads to starting a conversation.

Confidence Dating is looking for people who are willing to share their dating rituals and opinions for their blog. They’d also like you to go virtual, and hop on a Zoom call with them to talk about their site, where they say, “Sharing Experiences in Dating. Building Confidence in Love.”

Sound interesting?

Contact ConfidenceDating.net, or follow them on Facebook, and @confidencedati1 on Twitter.

This is a sponsored post by Confidence Dating. 

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Ask the Virtual Dating Expert – Should I Reach Out to my Ex During Corona?

May 11th

During this period of self-isolation, quarantining, and when life seems so uncertain, it’s not unusual to reach out to old friends, family members, and of course, the ex who’s still on your mind.

Whether you’re sending a text to rekindle the spark, or just because you really care about their being, now’s the perfect time to reach out and say hello.

Chris, a reader sent in this question to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert on this subject.

Dear Julie,

I hope you’re staying safe and healthy during this crazy time.

I’m reaching out because I could really use some advice. I would like to reach out to my ex, but I’m not sure what is the best approach.

We stopped speaking eight years ago, and I tried calling her 3 years ago, but received no response (please note, I sent her a follow-up text). I’m assuming this was her way of saying no.

If given the opportunity, I would try to take the approach of showcasing to her the new person I am but haven’t had the chance.

When we stopped speaking, we were 20 and didn’t end on the best of terms, but I feel like now that we’re two older adults, eight years later, maybe things could be different. Please note, she lives in New York, and I’ve been living in L.A. for the past six years.

Would reaching out to her again after my previous attempt even be worth it?

Thank you Julie. Any and all guidance would be appreciated.

Chris

RELATED: 8 Reasons Why She Didn’t Reply to Your Text

Dear Chris,

Thanks for reaching out. You’re not alone.

It’s been a busy time with people connecting on dating apps to meet someone new, and a lot of singles are reaching out to an ex to check in and make sure they’re safe during COVID-19.

If you try to reach out, it can’t jump in to sell the “new you” to her, and should only do so to show your concern for her health and well-being.

If you take the “look at the new me,” approach, she may feel like you’re pressuring her into an instant relationship and have ulterior motives, and it will backfire for sure, and most likely result in you getting ghosted again.

Plus, we don’t know if she’s in a relationship, or the thought about entering a long-distance relationship is something of no interest to her, especially with someone where there was a bad breakup.

For now, you’ve still got her on a pedestal, reliving past memories and hoping for a new future, which isn’t realistic.

WATCH: What to Do if He Only Wants to Text Me

Keep in mind, you don’t even know what she’s like in today’s time, eight years later. Perhaps her personality has changed, and you won’t like the “new her,” and if you met today, it wouldn’t be a fit.

Still, try to stay in the friend zone, because that’s all anyone’s ex can be right now, it’s the perfect time to reach out to her in a text to say: 

“Hi (insert name), I hope you’re safe and well during this crazy time.” Then add your first name.

Don’t ask her to answer a bunch of questions, don’t ask her about her relationship status and if she’s seeing anyone, or would consider getting back together.

Living in the past can haunt you, as you try to navigate love moving forward, which is an ideal time, as 75% of singles on the Love Poll in Dating in the Age of COVID-19 say they’re looking for a meaningful and long-term relationship.

If there’s any time to reach out, it would be now, but don’t start jumping into lengthy text exchanges, and don’t be surprised if you don’t hear back.

Reaching out once the crisis is over would be less genuine, so now’s the time to show you care, with no expectations. Consider your ex, an old friend, and everyone changes in the course of close to a decade.

Start looking for someone online who’s terrific and wants to meet someone just like you. If you’ve truly evolved in the past eight years, someone will benefit from your self-growth.

Keep me posted!

Julie

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 25 years, and as a virtual dating expert, helps singles master video dating with her Dress Rehearsal service.

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9 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Alive While Social Distancing

Mar 31st

Photo credit: Pexels

Regardless of your relationship status, just about everyone is in a long-distance relationship while self-isolating due to the novel coronavirus. Technology needs to be your BFF right now. 

Since you can’t see each other IRL for now, there’s no reason to push the pause button if you just started dating someone new, or if you can’t spend time with your partner. 

Keeping the flow going while staying connected digitally is essential. It will help you perfect your flirting skills while keeping the spark alive, and it may help you define the relationship by creating a stronger bond. 

Since you might have already spent time together before being quarantined, jumping on a video date is the perfect way to help your relationship grow in such a critical time.

Instead of talking about the news cycle, try scheduling some fun virtual activities together to create new memories. While it might feel awkward at first, it’s the new normal, and with these nine tips, I know you’ll master this in a digital heartbeat.

1. Go on a Virtual Happy Hour Date

Happy Hour

Photo Credit:  GEORGE DESIPRIS from Pexels

Who doesn’t want to feel happy right now? The first place to start is with an online happy hour date using video chat. Whether you’re using Facetime, What’sApp, Skype, Zoom, or an in-app feature on a dating app, remember to check your lighting so you can look your best. 

Both of you can show up sipping a quarantini (the popular drink du jour).

While no one looks exactly like their profile photos these days, you’re not expected to show up with over-the-top filters. 

2. Graduate to a Dinner Date

Video date

It’s time to ditch the sweats and show up wearing something hot, or date-night appropriate. You can cook a meal together, or binge-watch the same shows at the same time, taking turns in selecting ones that are captivating and uplifting for both of you.

At the end of your virtual dinner date, make sure you schedule the next one, like you would at the end of a great in-person date.

3. Send a Food Delivery 

Food Delivery

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Since many of your favorite restaurants are still providing food-to-go or delivery options, ordering a meal to be delivered in time for your virtual date will be a fun surprise.

Talk about any food allergies with your date in advance, or find out if they’re gluten-free or vegan before you send over a pizza or a steak.

You’ll get bonus points if you send over a box of chocolates. 

4. Binge-Watch Shows Together While Apart

Netflix Party

Photo Credit: Netflix

Everyone’s been asking friends what they’re watching, and “Netflix and Chill” has been replaced by “Quarantine and Chill.” Think of all the shows and films you were too busy to watch, and make a list with you boo, now that you have some extra time on your hands.

Netflix Party is the new hot date idea. There’s a Google Chrome extension for this feature, where you and your date can watch the same shows simultaneously. With Netflix Party, you can invite other friends, chat during the program or film, and push the pause button when you want to talk about it, or take a break to dine with your date in a video chat. It’s also a great feature for double-dating.

If you’re stumped on what shows to select, Entertainment Weekly published a list, including “Love is Blind” and “Isolation,” which both seem relatable right now.

5. Keep on Texting

flirt

Continuity is key, so sending a text in the morning to each other to check-in and show that you care is a great way to start the day. Texting helps you stay connected when you’re taking a night off from having a video chat.

Create a ritual by sending a fun video or meme to your date to brighten up their day, and make sure to use the wink emoji wherever possible. 

Remember to send a message at night before you go to sleep to leave your partner with thoughts of you in their dreams.

RELATED:  20 FLIRTY TEXTS TO CAPTURE HIS HEART

6. Ask Meaningful Questions

Question and Answers

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Getting to know someone, short of being in a deposition, is the fun part of being in a relationship. If you aren’t sure what to talk about that’s non-coronavirus related, an easy and bonding default is Arthur Aron’s list of 36 questions to help you fall in love.

If you’re not exclusive, head over the OkCupid app, where you can both answer thought-provoking questions to see how your match percentages add up. Since there are over 4,000 questions, ranging from politics to sex, you can spend months answering these questions to get to know your date better. 

Michael Kaye OkCupid’s Global Communications Manager sent me a list of some of the new questions added to their app, including: 

OkCupid Coronavirus

Photo Credit: OkCupid

  • What’s your ideal virtual date?
  • Would you say “I love you” to someone you’ve never met in person?

According to OkCupid, 25% of Millennial and Gen Z respondents have already been on a virtual date during this period of self-isolating, where the app saw an enormous increase (900%) in mentions of Coronavirus and social distancing in February and March. 

The And Card Game

Photo Credit: The Skin Deep

The Skin Deep has a collection of questions and answer cards for every relationship stage. I recently purchased both the Dating Edition and the Couples Edition from [The And], which are both good for dating with 6-feet of separation.

Each box comes with 199 questions about the size of a deck of cards, with enough to cover a month’s worth of dates. Also, they have a Long-Distance relationship version, which describes just about everyone’s relationship status during this quarantine period. 

Some questions include:

Dating: What would your ex say they taught you? and What’s an opinion you have that you rarely share?

Couples: Which one of my friends don’t you trust? and What would you do differently if we weren’t together?

7. Add in Music 

Coachella

If you love music and are disappointed you’ll be missing Coachella, plenty of artists are holding living room concerts on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitch with your date.

On YouTube, they’ll be releasing a documentary, Coachella: 20 Years in the Desert on April 10th. Tagged as #Couchella, you can feel like you’re in the desert while watching from your living room at home. 

Paul McCartney released a playlist of his songs, which he said was inspired by home, family, and kindness. You can stream Sir Paul’s playlist on Spotify, or request songs on your Amazon echo that help you feel safe at home.

8. Go Museum Hopping Around the World

Passport

Photo Credit: Element5 Digital from Pexels

If you’ve ever dreamed of going on a romantic trip to Paris, now’s your chance to go to the Louvre or visit Hermitage in Russia without a passport.

From the convenience of your comfy sofa, you can view thousands of museums and art galleries together. If you prefer staying in the country, you and your date can visit the Guggenheim museum in New York or the Smithsonian in Washington, DC. 

9. Become Your Date’s Favorite Digital Pen Pal

Mobile Phone

While I’ve spent decades coaching singles on not becoming a digital penpal by encouraging them to meet offline, now’s the time to stay safe at home. By becoming your date’s steady pen pal, you can talk about the places you’d like to go, and dates you’d like to go on, when the coast is clear, and it’s safe to meet IRL.

Know that you’re in the same boat as everyone else right now, and the need to connect, form, and maintain a meaningful relationship is heightened. There’s no reason to let a hopeful relationship fade, just because you’re stuck indoors. Let technology be your best friend during isolation. 

Until then, I’ll see you in my digital dreams.

Need a little hand-holding? Ask me about the Cyber-Dating Expert Swiping Right Dress Rehearsal, where I’ll be your date before you go on your first virtual date. 

I’m Julie Spira, and I’m an online dating expert who’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 25 years. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram @JulieSpira and sign up for our Free Weekly Flirt

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