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Jan 30th

Online Dating Expert Julie Spira Media Reel

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Should I ask a Guy His Last Name Before a Date?

May 22nd

Dating Advice - What's Your Name

Part of dating includes being organized, and if you’re using dating apps and find there are several men named Steve, should you ask them their last names?

One of my dating coaching clients posed this question, as she was preparing for her second date with someone she met online.  The truth is, she really wanted to check him out, and by asking for his last name, she thought she could get some information about him to help her feel safe.

How should she ask him, and should she even ask at all?

My response was simply not to ask for his last name.

Here’s why.

When someone asks for your last name on the phone, it’s basic code for letting you know they’ll be doing a google search, or maybe even digging deeper into a background search. 

I asked her how she’d feel if her date did the same, checked out where she lived, if she owned or rented, or any other personal or financial information. She replied that she wouldn’t have liked that either.

What I suggested, was to tell her date that she’d meet him at the theatre, to thank him for offering to pick her up, and to let him know that she’d like to take him up on his chivalrous offer to pick her up on a future date.

This way, she’s playing it cautious, acknowledging that he’s a gentleman, and letting the conversation flow during their date, where possibly more will naturally be revealed.

If she’s still stuck on getting the last name, I suggested she share hers with him casually, knowing that he’d probably reply with his.

Remember, it’s a date, not a deposition.

No one wants to feel interrogated about their net worth, but everyone wants to feel comfortable and safe.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is an award-winning dating coach, and America’s Top Online Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades.

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First Day of Spring and International Day of Happiness

Mar 20th

This year, we have a trifecta on March 20th.

Today is International Day of Happiness, the first day of Spring, and you can view the the last Super Moon of the year, called the Super Worm Equinox Moon.

With all of this positive activity today, it’s time to share some quotes on happiness as we celebrate the Spring Equinox, and celebrate longer days with more sunlight.

Happiness Day

The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters. ~Audrey Hepburn

Happiness - Goldie Hawn

“The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are, and not who people think you are.” ~Goldie Hawn

Happiness quote

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

Happiness Quotes

“Being happy never goes out of style.” ~Lily Pulitzer

ben franklin - happiness

“The U.S. Constitution doesn’t guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself.” ~Benjamin Franklin

To celebrate the day, buy yourself a bunch of tulips, do some spring cleaning, and with spring in the air, and all of that happiness around you, know that with every change of season, it’s a new beginning and opportunity to find love online. Update your profile and start searching, matching, and meeting IRL.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and an award-winning dating coach. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of the Internet and has been coaching singles on finding love online for 25 years.

Find out how Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

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The Business of Online Dating and Mobile Dating Apps

Feb 15th

In an interview with Rachel of CGTN America, Cyber-Dating Expert’s founder Julie Spira speaks with Rachelle Akuffo about the mobile dating industry in the United States.

With apps including Match, Tinder, OkCupid, and Plenty of Fish in the Match Group, to Bumble, and comparing mobile app usage with social networks, we took a look at the digital landscape for singles looking for love.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the Founder and CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, a dating coaching company, and has been helping singles find love on the Internet for over two decades with her Irresistible Coaching programs.

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Social Media Etiquette for Valentine’s Day

Feb 12th

Are you breaking the Rules of Netiquette on Valentine’s Day?

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it’s time to brush up on your social media etiquette skills.

Julie Spira - Finding Love Online

We know that you’re excited about your upcoming date or new relationship, but are you both on the same digital page?

Here are some Dos and Don’ts on how to handle social media and love on February 14th.

DO: send a fun and flirty “Happy Valentine’s Day” text to the person you’ll be spending the holiday with. It will generate excitement leading up to your date.

DON’T: Keep your phone on the table during the date or check text messages. It sends a message that someone else is more important than you are.

DO: Send a text message inviting them for a SKYPE date if you can’t be together or if they live out of town.

DON’T: Post photos of the two of you as a couple on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram unless both of you decide together that you don’t mind your extended network to view your whereabouts.

DO: Post a photo of the cute red or pink dress you might be wearing on your date.


DON’T: Tag your new boyfriend on Facebook. Chances are he hasn’t told his buddies and work pals about his Valentine’s plans.

DO: Post a photo if you’ve received flowers, a fun gift, or of the dessert at dinner. Everyone loves to view the photos and will cheer you on with ‘likes.’

DON’T: Post your “Happy Valentine’s” message on your date’s wall. Saying you can’t wait until the evening together should remain private. Remember, a simple post may be innocent. However your friends might wonder what kind of wild night the two of you will be having. Or worse yet, his ex-girlfriend might start posting inappropriate comments to ruin your evening.

DO: Send a digital gift, such as his or her favorite band on iTunes, an e-card, or a redeemable gift card to a store or restaurant.

DON’T: Send a musical playlist of “I Love You?”songs if you haven’t said those three little words yet.

DO: Ask for permission before you post anything online. Remember you?re creating a permanent digital footprint and your status and photos can be shared, even by people you don’t know.

DON’T: Overshare. Remember, many of your friends are single and may not be enjoying the day.

DO: Make an exciting announcement. If you become engaged on Valentine’s Day, your friends will want to know.

DON’T: Change your Facebook relationship status to ‘In a Relationship’ until both of you have had the talk and agree to be on the same digital page.

Do you have any social media rules for Valentine?s Day?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and The Rules of Netiquette. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

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The Definitive Valentine’s Survival Guide

Feb 12th

Valentine's Day -

It’s Valentine’s week, and both singles and couples alike are filled with emotions, just by seeing red candy boxes in the stores. If you’re feeling the stress, there’s no need to fret. Our annual Cyber-Dating Expert Valentine’s Survival Guide is here to the rescue.

This year, Valentine’s Day falls on a Thursday, and right before a three-day holiday weekend. The options are endless, from starting with a Galentine’s celebration for the ladies on Valentine’s Eve, to staying home and watching a series of rom-com’s, to a weekend away with your boo.

At Cyber-Dating Expert HQ we’ve been hard at work putting together everything you need to have the perfect Valentine’s Day.  From date ideas, to gifts that won’t break the bank, and even how to fill your date card in time for Valentine’s super-fast using the best mobile dating apps.

Many of you who, I know, are single. Some would like to be coupled up, others are find spending time alone or with friends. Although Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday, when I was single, I preferred to be dateless, over finding just someone to grab a fancy meal with.

I’ve gone to the movies with friends, gone alone to the theatre, stayed home and soaked in a bubble bath, and watched sappy movies.

Celebrate Galentine’s Day


The past few years, “Galentine’s Day” has been on the radar. I think it’s a great idea to have a girls’ night out, regardless of your relationship status.

On Galentine’s Day, why don’t you schedule something fun with your girlfriends? It can be a potluck dinner at someone’s home, happy hour, or a movie marathon. It’s a day to celebrate the female friendships in your life, regardless of your relationship status.

Watch a Romantic Comedy

Whether you’re flying solo, are having a quiet night at home with in-room dining and candles, or are out with a group of your friends, there’s nothing like watching a rom-com to make you life, or commiserate with another lovelorn.

This year, the big film is “What Men Want,” but sent over a map of the most popular romantic comedies, just in time for Valentine’s Day. The movie that’s the most popular to watch across the country is “Pretty in Pink,” which was the favorite of one out of every four states.

Netflix and Chill?

And if you are staying in for a ‘Netflix and Chill or Not’ night, research from High Speed Internet shows one out of ten people dated someone just to get their Netflix account.

Other surprising stats singles would choose Netflix over having sex, and 2/3 of couples prefer their partner has the same Netflix tastes as they do.

Gift Giving For Every Relationship Stage

Valentine’s Day expensive, we get it. In fact, a survey from the National Retail Federations shows that about $143.56 was spent on Valentine’s Day last year per person, and $2 billion was spent on flowers alone! Here’s a list of suggestions from first date to getting engaged, and please remember to bring a card. [Read More]

Social Media Rules for Valentine’s

If you are one of the 6 million people who are getting engaged on Valentine’s Day, or are changing your relationship status to “In a Relationship,” post away to spread the good news but don’t tag your date without their permission. Remember your friends might not be feeling great about their relationship status, so err on caution with the lovey-dovey posts. [Read More]

Signs You’re Headed for a Valentine’s Breakup

It’s still breakup season, with the day before and the day after Valentine’s showing a spike in relationship endings.

Break up chart

If your significant other is going out of town, making plans without you, texting you less, says they’re not interested in celebrating this year, these are clear signs your relationship could be headed for a split.

RELATED: The Post-Valentine’s Day Breakup

Valentine’s Day is a big deal to most women, and guys know it. So if you’ve been dating someone, and he suddenly has an office party or meeting to attend, be bold and ]call it quits. It’s better to be single on Valentine’s Day watching movies and hanging with your friends, instead of being in a relationship that’s headed south.

“After all, more people want to stream movies instead of having sex, and you won’t be the only one requesting the song “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor.

Wishing you much love and joy on Valentine’s Day, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of the Internet, has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades. 

SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter and FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

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