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What to Do if Your Boss Sees Your Dating Profile

Aug 29th

Ask the Cyberdating Expert Radio ShowIt’s bound to happen, you nervously put up an online dating profile with the hope of finding someone special to date, and suddenly it’s spotted by your boss, your neighbor, parents of friends of your kids, co-workers and more.

As a dating expert and coach, I’ve seen this happen to many of you. In my relationship column on Bikini, a female reader asked this question.

Q: I caught my boss checking me out on a dating website? I’m not sure if I should be excited or disturbed

A: Of course your boss is on a dating site or a mobile app. So are you and over 50 million other singles, including people who don’t know about your relationship status. It does feel like a creepy boundary issue, doesn’t it?  Chances are your boss was scrolling through hundreds of profiles photos in your geographic area and your familiar face popped up on the screen or on his mobile phone, so it was natural to take a peek at your profile.

So many sites allow you to see who has viewed your profile, so this isn’t unusual. Before you start comparing bad dates with your superior, my best advice is to ignore it. Then take matters into your own hands and block your boss from viewing your profile. I call it digital housekeeping. This way he or she won’t appear in your search and you won’t appear in theirs.

Both of you now know you’re on the same dating site and it could be just as uncomfortable for him or her as well. If your boss happens to mention viewing your profile, don’t have a meltdown. Just say, you’re single and dating and can’t think of a better way to meet someone outside of work than by joining an online dating site and mobile dating apps.

At some point, you’ll meet an amazing guy and will be taking your profile down anyway.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Do you have a question for online dating expert Julie Spira? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact

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20 Tips from Female Dating CEOs at Silicon Beach Fest

Aug 29th

Silicon Beach Fest Dating CEOs

Photo: Left to right: Jennifer Kelton, Kelly Steckelberg, Talia Goldstein, Julie Spira

Dating and looking for love? In case you missed it Silicon Beach Fest, it was an honor and joy to put together the first-ever Female Dating CEO panel for a lively discussion on the dating industry, relationships, and tips for online dating profiles and safe dating.

The panelists included some of the busiest women running dating and matchmaking companies, who took the time to collaborate on an informative panel and answered questions from the audience.

Collectively our businesses represented 30 years of dating industry, matchmaking, mobile apps, and coaching experience. We talked about the big elephant in the room, Tinder, and how it has affected our businesses as well as your dating experience.

Here are some of the advice we dished at SBF16.

Panelists

Kelly Steckelberg, CEO of Zoosk and Lively Mobile App

Jennifer Kelton, CEO of Bad Online Dates and BOD Dating App

Talia Goldstein, CEO of Three Day Rule, a Matchmaking Company

Julie Spira, CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and Online Dating Expert

Kelly Steckelberg - ZooskKelly’s Top 5 Tips from Zoosk:

  • Use a full body shot as your primary photo, as you’re 200% more likely to get responses to your messages.
  • You will get 50% fewer responses if the primary photo is a group photo. (Guys will wonder, which one are you?)
  • No pets in your primary photo.
  • Talk about yourself and what’s interesting about you, not about what you’re looking for in that person.
  • Use Spellcheck. The Zoosk study about grammar and spelling showed it had a huge effect on success rate.

Jennifer KeltonJennifer’s Top 5 Tips from BOD Dating App:

  • Grammar, grammar, grammar! No matter how good looking they are, grammar matters.
  • Be authentic in who you are. You’ve gotta keep it real. You don’t need to have your profile be a dissertation, but don’t put something out there that’s not genuine.
  • Don’t post bathroom selfies or a photo of a party scene. I realize that I’m probably not going to have a lot in common with that person.
  • You’ve got to think about safety first. Don’t ever meet somebody not in public, even after a few dates.
  • Don’t post selfies in the steamy bathroom mirror. Find a friend to take your photos.

talia goldstein Talia’s Top 5 Tips from Three Day Rule

  • Women need to be proactive and reach out to men.
  • Don’t post “distractor” photos where you are looking at almost everything in the photo, but the person (maybe they’re hiding behind a leaf).
  • Don’t post a mysterious other man or woman. The person viewing the profile will wonder, is this your husband or brother?
  • Do be chivalrous and open a door.
  • The League’s recent study said women wearing white dresses do well in the app, as well as men wearing suits.

Julie Spira Cyber Dating ExpertJulie’s Top 5 Tips from Cyber-Dating Expert

  • Ditch the little black dress and wear red in your profile. It’s the color of love, romance, and men view and write to women more often wearing red.
  • Don’t post goofy photos wearing a gorilla suit. Leave that for Comic Con.
  • Don’t get hung up on someone’s weight, height or distance.
  • Check out your potential date’s photos in Google.com/images to see if they match who they are.
  • Use social media to verify if your date looks the same and see if you have friends in common. Ask your friends if they will give the thumbs up or down on your date.

Follow our panelists on Twitter @zoosk @badonlinedates @threedayrule @JulieSpira

Visit: Zoosk.com, BodDatingApp.com, ThreeDayRule.com and CyberDatingExpert.com

 

 

 

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Thought of the Day

Aug 23rd

Game of Love

Do you ever feel like you’re not a priority in your relationship?

When looking for love or a partnership, are you doing all of the heavy lifting?

If so, you’re not alone. These tips to the Game of Love will guide you into being in the right relationship, and steer you away from the wrong one.

In the Game of love, making the other person a priority, means carving out the time to be together.

The togetherness results in creating memories.

Building memories creates bonding.

Communicating, whether by phone, in person, text, or drone, you’re developing and building to stay connected.

In love, if you combine all of these four giving actions, you can wrap it up in one big beautiful red ribbon.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

xo

Follow Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

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Meet Dating CEOs at Silicon Beach Fest

Aug 18th

It’s an honor and joy to put together a panel of female dating CEOs at Silicon Beach Fest, being held at the Marina del Rey Hotel on August 24 – 27th.

Silicon Beach Fest Dating Panel

 

Our panel will include Kelly Steckelberg, CEO of Zoosk; Jennifer Kelton, CEO of BOD Dating App;  Talia Goldstein, CEO of Three Day Rule, and myself Julie Spira, CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert.

The Dating CEO panel will be held at 4pm in the Waterfront Room and you’ll learn all the best tips for dating profiles and hear directly from industry pros.

SPEAKER BIOS

Julie Spira – CEO and Founder, Cyber-Dating Expert

Julie Spira is the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, an online dating coaching, advice and consulting business in the dating industry. As an early adopter of Internet dating and online dating expert, Julie has been coaching singles for over two decades on finding love. Her dating advice has been featured in over 1000 media stories and she’s the author of the bestseller, “The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online,” which was re-released this year on Audible, where she narrated audio book version. Julie is the creator of “Mobile Dating BootCamp” and “Online Dating BootCamp.” Julie graduated from the Park School of Communications at Ithaca College, where she received a B.S. in Television-Radio. She started her career in broadcasting as a media personality. Always on the leading edge of technology, become the first female executive at RKO Radio Networks, the country’s first digitally delivered satellite radio network. She ranks as the most influential person in “dating” and “online dating” on social media influence site, Klout.

Site: CyberDatingExpert.com Twitter @JulieSpira

Talia Goldstein – CEO and Founder, Three Day Rule

Talia Goldstein is the CEO and founder of Three Day Rule. After studying communication at Tulane University, Talia worked as a TV producer at E! True Hollywood Story, where she quickly became the office dating expert, setting up many co-workers with matches and handing out insightful dating advice from her cubicle. Recognizing her hidden talent for matchmaking, Talia quit her full-time job and began hosting popular singles events and offering personalized matchmaking services. Three Day Rule was officially created in 2013, allowing Talia to turn her lifelong hobby of matchmaking into a thriving business. Leveraging her extensive network of successful, attractive singles, Talia has found matches for hundreds of clients, including top executives, entrepreneurs, and everyday young professionals. Among her clients, Talia has been recognized for her strong instinct for what drives lifelong connections between two people. She has made it her mission to help clients on their quest to find true love, and is thrilled that her work allows her to make a difference in people’s lives.

Web: ThreeDayRule.com Twitter: @TaliaGoldstein @ThreeDayRule

Kelly Steckelberg – CEO, Zoosk

Kelly Steckelberg is the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) at Zoosk. Kelly joined Zoosk in March 2011 from Cisco, where she held various roles including divisional CFO positions for the Consumer Segment and WebEx. Kelly joined Cisco through the WebEx acquisition, where she served as Controller, Chief Accounting Officer (CAO). Prior to WebEx, Kelly held executive positions with Epiphany, Inc. and a variety of finance positions at PeopleSoft, Inc. in the U.S. and Europe. She started her career at KPMG in both tax and audit. Kelly holds both a bachelor’s and master’s degree in accounting from the University of Texas at Austin.  In addition to her work at Zoosk, Kelly also serves on the board of Episcopal Community Services of San Francisco (ECS), which helps provides housing, jobs, shelter, and essential services to homeless and low-income people in San Francisco. When not working, she loves to travel and has been to over 60 countries.

Web: Zoosk.com Twitter @ksteckel @zoosk

Jennifer Kelton – CEO and Founder, BOD Dating App

Jennifer Kelton is a dating industry expert and Founder & CEO of the recently launched bod (Bad Online Dates) app. She is also author of the acclaimed dating book, Don’t Use My Sweater like a Towel and creator of dressforthedate.com.  The bod (Bad Online Dates) app is a geo-location-based dating app where users can move on from a bad date and potentially meet someone new, in real-time.

Web: boddatingapp.com  Twitter: @BadOnlineDates

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Quote of the Day

Aug 18th

Quote of the Day:Look into the sky and make a wish.”

The August Full Sturgeon Moon will be visible tonight, August 18th. You’ll also be able to view it on Friday, August 19th.

There’s nothing more romantic than watching the full moon with a date or your significant other. If you can’t be together, you can watch a live stream together and have a digital date. If you’re alone, no need to fret, look up at moon and make a wish. May all your dreams come true.

Full Moon

Follow America’s Top online dating expert  @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Sign up for the FREE Weekly flirt newsletter for dating advice.

Need a little hand holding, find out our our Irresistible Profiles coaching packages will help you find your dream date.

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