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5 Gifts To Impress Your First Date

Feb 13th

7 Ways to Find a Date for Valentine'sIt’s still possible to find a date for Valentine’s by just popping up your mobile dating apps.  Turn on your push notifications and be bold and agree to meet on Valentine’s Day.

With that in mind, if you score a date, what are you supposed to do about a gift? Should you give anything at all? Our guest blogger Michelle G.,CRS® offers these tips for Valentine’s gift ideas for a 1st time date.


Valentine’s Day reignites the conversation of whether a first date gift is appropriate. Some argue that it may be a bit “cheesy” to show your softer side on a first date, while others may feel the fear of their gift being rejected. My recommendation is to do what feels right for you.

In today’s competitive dating landscape, it’s all about the little details to help you stand out from the crowd. The rule of thumb for choosing a gift is to make your choice based on a previous conversation you had with your date. If you haven’t had a chance to glean any tips on what to gift just yet, here are some foolproof ideas to spark up your first date.

Here are 5 Simple Gifts to Give on a First Date

Flowers1. Flower Bouquet

Who doesn’t love flowers or a gift from nature? Flowers and plants are thoughtful, unisex and not too personal. If you didn’t know, there was a time when flowers where a traditional (and lovely) first date gift every woman loved. Stand out from the crowd, impress your date and start off on the right foot with a bouquet of red roses or white lilies.

P.S. Pick up red tulips from the grocery store. They’re a fraction of the cost of roses and you’ll have the same impact.

RELATED: 3 Online Dating Photos to Avoid this Valentine’s

2. Greeting Card

A thoughtful greeting card with an uplifting or inspirational message can also work miracles when you’re looking to stand out and make an impression on a first date. Your positive spirit can take you places you never thought possible, faster than you could imagine. Everyone can use a little extra cheer in their lives and you could stand out on your first date by turning up your positively with a thoughtful greeting card.

P.S. We love digital cards from JibJab!

Chocolate Chip Cookies3. Baked Goodies

If you’re meeting in a coffee shop, treat your date to a delicious pastry and watch how quickly you can control the ambiance and mood of your date. Be mindful of any food allergies, intolerances (gluten), or sensitivities (dairy) your date might have. You don’t want to inadvertently get them sick. To be sure, wait until they arrive at the coffee shop, ask them if they have a food intolerance, then offer a treat. You’ll be a rockstar for caring!

P.S. Bake some homemade cookies for both of you to share.

 

4. Chocolates

An oldie but a goodie… If you’re not sure what kind of chocolates your date likes, an incognito way of asking is to share insider information about your favorite foods and desserts first before asking them what they like. Then, by the magic of reciprocity, your date will feel compelled to share similar information with you and voilà; you’ll know what types of chocolates he or she likes… Try this simple technique on your next date!

P.S. Chocolate is an aphrodisiac!

RELATED: What do I do If He Doesn’t Ask Me Out for Valentine’s Day

5. Bottle of Wine

Coda WinesThis is an excellent gift idea for when you want to show off your classier side. In case you feel this is a risky move, just know that wine’s not too “forward” of a gift and it’s well accepted. While you may not know what type of wine your date prefers, it is the thought that counts! The best recommendation when selecting a bottle of wine is to go for a red Cabernet Sauvignon or a refreshing white Pinot.

P.S. You can ramp it up with a bottle of prosecco from the grocery store if you think your date likes bubbles or check out codawines.com, where their wines are inspird by music.

For more Valentine’s Day ideas, read our Valentine’s Day Survival Guide.

Follow @AskMichelleG on Twitter

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook

 

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Julie Spira on KTLA With New Mobile App Features

Feb 12th

Many thanks to KTLA’s Rich DeMuro, who interviewed me for this fun segment on mobile dating on Tech Report.

We talked about new features on mobile dating apps to speed up your search to find a Valentine’s date. Watch this video to learn about the latest tips to better your odds on Match, Bumble, and Tinder apps.

Mobile dating apps are all the rage. There are new niche dating apps to help you find a Valentine.  Are you making the most of these popular and apps?

READ MORE: KTLA: Original Post: Matchmaking Apps Add New Features To Help You Find a Date Fast

MATCH – The world’s largest dating site has been rolling out new features for their members.

  • Top Spot – For $2.99, your profile will appear at the top of a search for 60 minutes. Match says you’ll get three times more views with this feature.  You’ll also appear the in top 6 search results when members are searching for someone like you. You can view the countdown of the time remaining during your Top Spot session.  They actually show you the photos of who has viewed you in your search. You’ll also receive an activity summary via email once your session has expired.
  • Missed Connections – This free mobile only feature helps you fill your date card faster after you’ve crossed paths with them. You’ll be matched with others who could have been in the same restaurant, supermarket, etc.  You’ll have to opt-in to use this feature on your mobile app when it appears. Match says this will be less creepy that the old Craig’s List “Missed Connections” (we hope so). It’s similar to Happn’s location-based app, which is solely based on matching you with people you’ve crossed paths with. The trend of meeting IRL is important to dating apps and sites, to avoid ghosting, breadcrumbing, or just endless chats.

READ MORE: Match Adds New Missed Connections Feature

BUMBLE – This bumble bee hive apps let’s women make the first move. I call it the “Sadie Hawkins” of digital dating. Users set their distance and age parameters and start viewing matches. A simple swipe to the right says you’re interested. A swipe to the left says you’re not. If both parties swipe right, you’ll appear in the match queue, where the woman needs to strike up a chat within 24 hours. Once the match gets notified, they have to reply in 24 hours to get the chat going. If you swipe left in error, don’t worry. You get three free “backtracks” a day,  where you shake your phone to see the photo you swiped left to.

READ MORE: KTLA: Original Post: Matchmaking Apps Add New Features To Help You Find a Date Fast

Bumble Boost, their paid service, has a variety of pricing levels of one, three, or six months, or one year. 

Bumble Boost has some fun premium features including:

  • Beeline: You’ll see people who’ve liked you when you open up the app, instead of waiting to swipe right through profiles.
  • Rematch: You can get matched again with someone you didn’t have time to start a convo with. Those profiles will have a grey circle around them.
  • Extended Rematches: If you’re a busy bee, you can have unlimited extensions on your match. But then again, if you have time to open the app and extend, why not just say hello?

READ MORE: Bumble Makes Men Reply or Match Disappears

BumbleVid is their newest feature.  You can post 10-second videos to your profile that will be deleted in 24 hours.  I call it dating in a snapchat world.

TINDER – Tinder is losing the perception of only being a hook up app.  Tinder reports that 80 % of their users are looking for something more meaningful. Plus they’re seeing 1.4 billion swipes a day!

  • Smart Photos: This new feature will select your best photo and make it your primary profile shot. So if that selfie in the mirror doesn’t cut it, it will be moved to a secondary photo. It’s great because your best face will appear in a search.

READ MORE: Tinder Love Story: Adriana and Dave

Tinder Plus: This premium service costs about $9.99/month.  You’ll get unlimited swipes, as compared to the free service. You’ll can also get back your last left swipe with their rewind feature, as often as you like.

  • Passport: Planning a trip and looking to fill your date card before you arrive? Passport allows you to add other locations to search for and to appear in a search. Remember, dating apps are location-based, so your searches will show where you’re hanging out now. Just add a new city in a search and it will be on your Passport in your settings.

At the end of the digital day, there are an enormous amount of mobile dating apps. The average person using dating apps has downloaded 3.5 apps.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Need a little help with your dating life? Find out how our Irresistible Coaching will help you find your dream date.

FOLLOW @Julie Spira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

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3 Reasons Why Guys Ghost

Feb 10th

Why Men GhostAs a ghosting expert, I’ve heard every wacky and excuse as to why someone ghosted you.

Imagine this scenario. You’ve been seeing a great guy for weeks now and you think this one’s a keeper.

You get daily texts from him, see him on weekends, and he’s called you his girlfriend.

Then one day out of nowhere, POOF. He’s gone. MIA. No texts. No calls. No dates. No closure.

Here are three reasons why guys ghost after a great date.

1. They have a girlfriend, and it’s not you.

Unfortunately there are lot of people dating when they’re not single. Perhaps the relationship is on a bumpy road, or maybe they want to look at other options. A survey has found that about 40% of people on Tinder aren’t even single. For these reasons, guys swipe right for validation, or because there’s something missing in their relationship. When it gets to the point of getting serious, they have to bail. The easiest way is to ghost and disappear.

READ MORE: Most Millennials Have Been Ghosted

2. They have commitment issues.

Some guys just can’t go the distance. They love the excitement of a new relationship, especially the chase. They go on three-week intervals and when they see they have to step it up to make a deeper commitment, they bail with no trail or reason why. This is painful for women who want closure. They think things are going well and then suddenly their BF goes MIA and ghosts.

3. They’re playing the field.

There’s a lyric in the Stevie Nicks song Dreams, “Players only love you when they’re playing.” Guys like these like to play the field and believe dating is a numbers game. Once their date card is overflowing, someone has to be deleted. When it’s you, you won’t know why. If they text you 3 times a day and call every day and see you on weekends, you think you’re in a relationship. The problem is, you’re just in rotation.

What should a woman do if she’s been ghosted?

The worst thing you can do is to keep trying to reach him. You will appear needy, obsessive, and it will be a turn off for a guy. If he disappears, just realize it’s his loss. There is no closure. You can be sure he’s ghosting someone else right now, while you trying to decide what to text him next.

READ MORE: Ghosted for the First Time

My best advice is to move on and be open to finding someone else. By the time he comes back, and he probably will, you might be in the arms of a great guy, where ghosting is not a part of his vocabulary.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating, Mobile Dating, and Ghosting Expert. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online and helping heal hearts after someone’s been ghosted. Julie’s been crowned “Best Dating Coach” of the year at the iDate Awards and ranks as the most influential person in dating and online dating in social media.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, & Facebook for dating and ghosting advice.

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Photo credit: Fotolia

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iPhone vs. Android, It Makes a Difference on Who You’ll Date

Feb 10th

KNX Match Singles in AmericaAs I’ve been digging through the wonderful nuggets of data in the 7th Annual Match Singles in America Study, one that sticks out and makes me wonder why, is the debate between iPhone users versus Android owners. When CBS Radio asked me to weigh in on the subject on KNX – IN DEPTH,  we had a lively discussion (Transcript at the end of this post).

Here’s the question about the big digital elephant in the room.

Are singles with iPhones really judging their dates if they carry an Android phone or have a cracked screen? Apparently so.

Here are some fun facts from the Match survey,

  • iPhone users are 21 more times likely to judge Android users
  • Android users are 15 times more likely to negatively judge an iPhone use.

Let’s take it a step forward as your date card will be empty if you don’t upgrade or fix that cracked phone. The survey said that iPhone users are critical of other iPhone users if their phone is an older model, to the tune of 56% saying you won’t get to a second date. Ouch.

If you have a flip phone or a cracked screen, you’re at the bottom of the digital dating totem pole, so head to the store and upgrade and fix that screen now.

The survey on mobile phone issues found:

  • 15% of adults could think twice about dating someone with a cracked screen
  •  86% of women are more likely to negatively judge a man for having a cracked screen.

And if you’re texting with that clicking noise, STOP now. The survey said boomers hate the audible key clicks, so head to your settings and stop the noise to get more dates.

READ MORE: Match Singles in America Survey Says Put Your Phone Away

#ICYMI, Here’s the transcript of the radio interview with Charles Feldman and Chris Sedens on CBS/KNX Radio.

Charles: There’s a study that finds that single people who have an iPhone don’t want to date someone who has an Android phone. Apparently that’s not all. With us now to discuss this is author and expert on cyber-dating, Julie Spira, Julie, what else do we know about iPhone users and the people they don’t want to date?

Julie: Well it’s interesting to know that there’s research that shows that the stigma shows that iPhone users maybe made more money than Android users.

Charles: Maybe they’re poorer than Android users because iPhones cost so much.

Julie: Especially when we upgrade every two years! I think this is all really interesting because it shows that daters have become picker about subjects such as technology and politics. Certainly pickier than even what your date is wearing.

Charles: So seriously, you have these two people let’s say and they meet at Starbucks or something, because that’s where they meet, and one takes out an iPhone to text and the other takes out an Android phone and they look at each other and go, nope, not for me.

Julie: People are doing that. Probably millennials are doing it more than boomers are, but they shouldn’t be taking their phone out on a date anyway. That phone belongs in your purse or your pocket. 

Charles: You know I’m taking it a step further than I probably should, but I believe I read somewhere that President Trump carries an Android. I use an iPhone. Now, not that he’s on the market, or whether I am or not, but you say it comes down sometimes to people with iPhones make more money, I’m guessing the President makes more money than I do.

Chris: Are you saying you wouldn’t date President Trump?

Charles: I’m just saying he uses an Android; he’s a billionaire.

Chris: Oh, alright.

Charles: I think that kind of blows that one out of the water Julie. I can’t help but think, if you’re an attractive person and you see somebody, there’s a lot of people listening this who think this is hooey.

Julie: Right. It should be ridiculous. You shouldn’t say I can’t go on a second date with you, because we don’t share the same interests in technology or phones. I think another point that’s so big on this study which came from Match.com, nearly 15% of  adults that are currently dating, they won’t date somebody with a cracked smart phone screen. So if you’ve got an old phone, you might not get a second date.

Charles: So let’s say we get past the phone stuff and maybe they both have iphones, and so they go on the date and they are happy and they go back to one place or the other and then they discover that one has a MacBook and the other has a dell. So is the relationship then off?

Julie: No the relationship is not off. We really can’t be that superficial about the kind of technology our partners have. I think the more inclusive we can be about everything we can be in life, including technology, the happier we can be. So don’t sweat the small stuff. If you have chemistry and a lot in common and similar values, let someone have a different type of phone and be happy about it.

Charles: Julie, Thank you. Julie Spira, she is an author and expert on cyber-dating. “You’re Beautiful you’re the woman of my dreams. Oh you’re using an Android. NEXT.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook for online dating and mobile dating advice.

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Mobile Love – Women are on a Swiping Frenzy on Dating Apps

Feb 9th

Liftoff Mobile Dating Study
We know that men are swiping right and left on mobile apps in record numbers, but this study and infographic from Liftoff shows that it’s the women in North America who are more serious about finding a relationship on mobile apps than the men. The Liftoff team analyzed 20 of the top dating apps, with almost 3 billion dating app impressions, to see who was signing up for mobile apps across the world.

Women Are More Serious in Using Mobile Dating Apps

After analyzing the data, Liftoff says, “It’s clear that women are more serious mobile daters, while their male counterparts are far less committed–meaning marketers should aim cupid’s arrow at North American women.”

Does this mean men are swiping for hookups or convos only? This research calls women in North America “swipe happy,” and you thought men were swiping the most, right?

READ MORE: 12 Mobile Dating Apps for Different Relationship Goals

This study shows that compared to other popular app categories, dating apps have a much large user base with 91 million users worldwide, many of which open their mobile app over five times per day!

Summer is the Busiest Time for Mobile Dating Apps

Liftoff Mobile Dating

While many singles are in a swiping frenzy to find that last minute Valentine’s date, this research shows the busiest time for mobile dating apps is during the summer, when the heat rises online and IRL. Liftoff says registration rates for mobile dating apps peak in June and remain hot and heavy through September. Think summer romance? Probably so.

Other findings include that females register 100% more than men on Android and 107% than men on iOs.

READ MORE: 6 Mobile Dating Apps to Help You Find Love

What does this mean for singles looking for love on their mobile phones? It shows the level of intent for women, so guys, start getting serious, because the squeaky deal wins the mobile dating love lottery.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

FOLLOW Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

SIGN UP for our FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online with her Irresistible Profiles programs for over 20 years. Julie’s the recent winner of the 2017 iDate Awards for Best Dating Coach and is the author of the bestseller The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and ranks as the most influential person in social media in “dating” and “online dating.”

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