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STUDY: The 2018 List of Best and Worst States for Single Daters

Feb 6th

Wallet Hub online Dating

Should singles change their zip codes while looking for love online, or even take it further by moving to a more desirable state in the country?

A new study from WalletHub actually ranks all 50 states to determine the best and worst places for single daters.

The list breaks it down further into four categories.

  • Overall Rank
  • Dating Opportunities
  • Dating Economics
  • Romance & Fun

Digging deeper, the study shows the best states for online dating are:

  1. Washington
  2. Colorado
  3. New Hampshire
  4. Maryland
  5. Alaska

The worst states for online dating are:

  1. Mississipi
  2. Arkansas
  3. New Mexico
  4. West Virginia
  5. Louisiana

If you’re attached to your mobile phone and find yourself swiping left and right on mobile dating apps, the study shows a different digital picture.

wallet hub mobile dating

The best states for mobile dating apps are:

  1. Utah
  2. Maryland
  3. Colorado
  4. Massachusetts
  5. New Jersey

The worst states for mobile dating opportunities are:

  1. West Virginia
  2. Mississipi
  3. Arkansas
  4. Alabama
  5. Kentucky

Overall, California ranks as number one on the list. Perhaps the sunshine, Rose Bowl, and Disneyland contributed to that score. Just behind California is Florida, with New York coming in at number three.

Arkansas ranked at the bottom of the list as the worst place for singles.

This list shows the top 10 ranked states in the country.

Is your state on this list?

Wallet Hub Best States Dating

This map below, highlights each state to see where they rank.

Click on your state to find out the overall rank, and think about casting a wider net while looking for love online.

Source: WalletHub

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

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Do Singles Click “Add Friend” on Facebook Before a Date?

Feb 5th

I regret to inform you I will not be liking your status.

To friend, or not to friend on Facebook and social media? That question has been brewing for over a decade for singles who are excited about dating someone new.

The 2018 Singles in America Study conducted by Match has revealed some social media etiquette rules on how over 5000 singles prefer to connect when it comes to dating in the digital age.

With so much information available on the Internet, it’s a piece of digital pie to become a cyber-sleuth. From stalking (we mean searching) on public profiles on Instagram or Twitter, to conducting a google image search, there’s so much we can find out in advance.

In their survey, they found nearly 2/3 of singles use social media daily, with both men and women using social media to research their date.

RELATED: To Friend, or Not to Friend on Facebook

Social Media Before the First Date

Match tackled the question in their study with a pop quiz, asking “When do you hit the ‘Add Friend’ button?

While the majority (41%) prefer taking it slow, both online and offline, and say they’d wait until after a few dates, still 19% of singles actually take the leap and ask to become friends before a first date.

Let’s keep in mind there’s so much digital foreplay going on with texting, calling, and chatting online, that by the time many get to a first date, they feel like they’ve been dating for a while.

Prior to the first date, 20% of singles said they would ‘like’ a photo and 23% would strike up a private chat in Facebook messenger or on Instagram.

RELATED: Rules of Netiquette – Dating in a Facebook World

Post-Date Social Media Rules

Similar to those who are quick to click to become friends, 18% say they will only send a friend request once the relationship became serious.

After all, if you’re dating multiple people and playing the field, you really won’t want your date to see your whereabouts when you’re not together.

The survey showed that singles are most comfortable becoming friends on Facebook (75%) after a few good dates, as well as 36% approve of following on Instagram, lagging with 34% adding on SnapChat, and 40% would tag someone in a post.

To Tag, or Not to Tag?

When in doubt about posting and tagging, always ask for permission. Remember some people use social media for business purposes, and others don’t want a relationship that could become complicated appearing in the news feeds of their friends.

Once it gets serious, 66% actually changed their profile photo to a couples picture and say it’s find to become Facebook official. However only 13% of singles surveyed do change their status to “In a Relationship.”

At what point in the dating process would you become friends on social media?

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years.

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Does Love ‘Trump’ Politics? Match Survey Says Yes

Feb 1st

Love Trumps Politics

Source: Match

Last year, I believe Donald Trump hijacked Valentine’s Day.

This year, I’m relieved love is back atop the dating totem pole.

In 2017, with the Inauguration Day and Valentine’s Day less than a month apart, the results of the Electoral College vote permeated the bedroom, as well as surfaced in heated rants on social media, dividing friendships and romantic partners.

As a dating coach and love expert, the news media mostly wanted to talk to me about politics over love.

To say love got kicked to the curb by Donald Trump last year is an understatement, but our country was hurting, and relationships suffered.

I spend my days coaching singles and hearing about their attitudes on politics and dating. 

I’m happy to report I’ve noticed a shift since the new year where singles have been less interested in mentioning politics on their profiles in 2018.

In a previous Match Singles in America Survey from 2016, the dating site found 91% of singles had a better chance of getting to a second date if they mentioned politics on the first date.

With mobile dating profiles filled with text including, ‘Swipe left if you believe in all things Trump,’ to ‘Swipe Right if you think Trump is making America Great Again,’ the sentiments were strong with politics becoming one of the top deal-breakers for singles.

I spoke with Angela Hart, political writer for the Sacramento Bee on the effects of politics and love. Her piece, How Donald Trump is Killing Romance drew harsh criticism from Sean Hannity, who was apparently stunned that singles didn’t want to date a Trump supporter during one of his radio shows.

I even posted my heartfelt and emotional essays, Can True Love Endure Donald Trump and Love and Loss in the Age of Trump, where I painfully expressed how even the best relationships were getting tested due to conflicting political attitudes and views, including mine.

Now, I’m pleased to share the Match Singles in America Survey, of dating habits from 2017, just released for the 2018 Valentine’s season.

The survey shows things have lightened up for daters in the divisive political arena we’ve been living in.

In a section of the survey titled, “The Trump Effect” the Match results showed that singles put love first, ahead of our combative political climate.

Single Daters Will Now Date Across Party Lines

Match’s report showed that an overwhelming majority of singles (72%) would be willing to cross party lines with their date, with only 10% believing dating a Republican is a deal breaker and 5% saying they wouldn’t date a Democrat.

The survey, released just two days after Trump’s State of the Union address, shows singles are willing to be open to a different political point of view, with 45% saying they would try to understand the other’s perspective.

While politics was such a hot dating topic during the election year, 26% of singles in the survey said they’d change the subject if it came up on a date.

Does this mean the topic of politics is off the table for singles? Not at all. In the survey, 54% of singles think it’s important to find out their date’s political views, but the days of walking out on a date are gone, with only 5% admitting they would leave immediately.

It’s refreshing news for those seeking love and romance, and I couldn’t be happier.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 24 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter

SIGNUP for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox. 

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Mobile Love: 2018 Report – Singles Are Swiping More on Dating Apps

Feb 1st

Liftoff Mobile Dating

Photo credit: Liftoff

As Valentine’s Day is upon us, the annual dating apps report from Liftoff, shows mobile dating app usage increased by 50% at the start of ‘Cuffing Season.

When weather gets colder and the desire to couple-up increases, your mobile phone can become both your BFF and your personal wingman or wingwoman.

With over 1500 dating apps to choose from, it becomes easier to find a date in a digital split second.

In a press release, Liftoff stated:

“New data from Liftoff shows that to get that cold-weather love, people are eschewing the “traditional” method of dating and turning to dating apps as their primary means of finding an S.O.”

According to the report, in January 2017, Tinder alone revealed it observes users spending around 90 minutes a day in-app, logging in at least 11 times.

Singles Join Dating Apps During Breakups and in Colder Weather

The data comes from more than two dozen of the top dating apps, and confirms the trends that singles will be flocking to dating apps during the times they are finding themselves single.

The famous Facebook breakup chart that we often talk about shows the peak times couples split, right before Christmas, and then again heading into Spring Break.

In their report, I was cited on the seasonal trends of breakups and increased mobile dating app usage.

Julie Spira, an award-winning dating coach and internationally recognized cyberdating expert, sums it up best. “Couples who look deliriously happy on Facebook are breaking up around Thanksgiving,” she writes on her blog advising readers to “let their mobile phone be their BFF” in the search for the right partner for the year ahead. 

Break up chart

Dating Apps are Going Global

Dating apps aren’t just a local-based. Thinking out of the box, most of the major apps are expanding internationally, now in 50+ countries, as reported by the BBC.  If your plans include travel and a Passport, make sure to open your apps while out of the country, to meet interesting people abroad.

Russia and Brazil top the list of the most downloads, with the US coming in at 25%.

Mobile Dating Apps

The report concludes:

“Today mobile and matchmaking are one in the same. Swiping in public is as popular as sending a text. It’s why the market is witnessing an avalanche of mobile dating apps, gaining traction (and market share) by appealing to Long Tail tastes for apps that help people nd dates, mates and even BFFs.”

To access this full report, visit Liftoff.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, is the creator of Mobile Dating BootCamp, and as an award-winning dating coach, has been helping singles find love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

 
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It’s Showtime – Why the Super Bowl is Like Valentine’s Day

Jan 31st

Valentine's Day versus the Super Bowl

It’s officially Super Bowl week and Valentine’s Day is two weeks from today.

I’ve gone on record saying the Super Bowl for men is like Valentine’s Day for women.

Super Bowl Sunday is a sacred day for most American men. It’s showtime as most guys count down the days, hours, and even minutes to their favorite television day of the year.

As we count down the days to the 52nd Super Bowl (LII) at US Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, whether you’re rooting for the AFC championship team, the New England Patriots or the NFC championships team, the Philadelphia Eagles, one thing is for sure, it’s going to be an emotional and exciting two weeks for both men and women alike.

It’s that big of a deal for both sexes and here are the reasons why.

Women often wonder if men hate Valentine’s Day and a report by WalletHub says 53% of women say they’d break up with their significant other if they got nothing for Valentine’s Day. The same report shows that 9 million marriage proposals will take place on February 14th.

 Valentine’s Day is the third-largest consumer holiday of the year, with over $18 billion dollars spent in the name of love!

Back to sports, men often wonder if the women are authentically cheering for their favorite team, or if they really like football at all.

Most men don’t want to be distracted by women while watching the game, unless they’re viewing the cheerleaders on TV. Guys wait all year for this day and romance is put on hold until one team gets the ring, one that doesn’t include a diamond center stone with the promise to have and to hold forever.

We know between football pools and the high cost of advertising, this Sunday will be an expensive day for many.

This year, the Super Bowl Sunday and Valentine’s Day are ten days apart.

With Valentine’s Day being held in the middle of the week on a Wednesday, some decide to celebrate the holiday over the weekend before, on February 10th-12th, or on the long President’s weekend of February 16th- 19th, to avoid the huge expense on that one night of the year.

The pressure on Valentine’s Day is enormous. The pressure for your favorite team to win the title of Super Bowl Champion is at an all-time high.

Valentine’s Day IS the Super Bowl of Dating

These next two weeks are truly a double-header, so enjoy the ride. Most guys won’t even make a dinner reservation or ask a girl out until after Super Bowl Sunday. I encourage you not to wait until the last minute to ask your date to be your Valentine, or you might find out that she’s made other plans.

RELATED: Valentine’s Countdown: How to Land a Date

Whether you’re a sports fan or a hopeless romantic, comparing the two will help you understand how important these days are for the opposite sex.

Why do I think the Super Bowl for men is like Valentine’s Day for women?

Quite simply, both men and women put all of their emotional energies into these two bigger-than-life events. Often, a woman doesn’t understand why watching two teams trying to score is so important to her guy. He just can’t miss this game. It’s the end of the season and the two best teams go for the ring.

Guys on the other hand, simply don’t understand that if you’re dating a woman and forget to plan something, just anything, for Valentine’s Day, you probably won’t get a date with her on February 15th, which ironically is “Singles Awareness Day” or any day after.

Guys, if you’re playing the field swiping right and left on mobile dating apps, or flirting on Tinder and Instagram, if you don’t ask our your digital crush, you lose.

Game over.

Men wait all year for the Super Bowl, this big day in television. Women wait for Valentine’s Day, with the hope that their special guy will either propose, offer to take his online dating profile down, or say “I love you” for the first time.

Women even secretly hope that the guy they are dating might want to change his Facebook status from ‘Single’ to ‘In a Relationship.’ It’s on the digital wish list for women, period.

Are you Prepared for Super Bowl and Valentine’s Day?

Men are very prepared for the Super Bowl. They decide which venue to view the game at and with whom they would like to spend watching the teams battle it out.

Women like to be prepared for Valentine’s Day. They start giving little hints out a month in advance about their favorite romantic restaurant, post photos of jewelry or trinkets on instagram and facebook, all with the hope the the guy they’re dating will take the cue and book a reservation before their favorite eatery is fully booked.

However in contrast, when a man’s favorite team loses the Super Bowl, he will be disappointed, but will get over it. He’ll know there’s another chance next year and will spend the entire football season rooting for his team. If a woman’s favorite beau, or someone she is dating ,doesn’t ask her out for Valentine’s Day, she won’t get over it. Expect a breakup or a big confrontation.

RELATED: 10 Valentine’s Date Ideas that Won’t Break the Bank

She’ll assume he’s romancing another woman and will know she’s not on the top of his list. Chances are, his shelf life as her “number one guy” will immediately expire. Unless he’s out of town on business or in a long-distance relationship, he won’t get another chance to romance her. No woman wants to be at the bottom of the dating totem pole, especially on Valentine’s Day. Expect to be unfriended, or don’t be surprised if she doesn’t return your phone calls or texts.

So whether you like football or not, love or hate Valentine’s Day, remember to talk to the person you are dating about what these days mean to both of you. If you’re single, use this opportunity to accept all invitations for both the Super Bowl and Valentine’s singles mixers. Even if your team loses and you’re dateless on the 14th, you’ll be casting a wider net and expanding your social circle.

Go ahead and accept that Super Bowl party invitation. If you’re single, you just might find a date in time for Valentine’s as well. It’s a win-win for everyone. If you need help with your profile or online dating advice, we’re here to help.

Related: Social Media Rules for Valentine’s Day

Which team will you be rooting for this Super Bowl and do you love, or hate Valentine’s Day?

Julie Spira is America’s Top online dating expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles for almost 25 years in finding love online. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

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