If Valentine’s Day left you questioning your relationship status, you’re not alone. Breakup Season is a real thing, with couples historically calling it quits after the new year, climbing in February and peaking in mid-March. In fact, Breakup Day falls on the first Friday after Valentine’s year after year.
For some, a breakup is a shock, while it feels inevitable to others. If your holidays felt so-so, Valentine’s Day was lackluster or wasn’t celebrated, and your partner feels distant, consider this a red flag that you might become a statistic. Ouch. Don’t shoot the messenger.
The well-known Facebook “Breakup Chart” supports this trend and highlights the first breakup season of the year, also known as “Spring Cleanup.”
This period mirrors the infamous pre-holiday breakups in early December, with December 11th being the year’s second most popular breakup day. Both periods revolve around love-centric holidays, where couples either solidify their relationship or decide to fly solo.
RELATED: The Post-Valentine’s Breakup
And it’s not just romantic relationships; marriages feel the impact, too. The first Monday of the new year is known as Divorce Day when family law attorneys see an uptick in requests for consultations and divorce filings. If you’re feeling the sting of a recent split, know that with every ending comes a new beginning. Breakup Season also means a surge of singles hope to find a new romantic partner, and that’s a good thing.
Let’s dive in with tips on how to survive the post-Valentine blues and prepare you to be date-ready leading into spring.
Invest in Yourself: Prepare for Your Next Chapter
When you were part of a couple, you probably filled your calendar with “WE” activities, (think bike rides for two or couples massage). Now that you’re flying solo, it’s time to shift your “WE” focus to “ME.”
What to Do When the Wound is Fresh
You hear a lot about self-love, so I don’t want this to feel or sound like a broken record, but there’s a reason there’s a massive section in bookstores devoted to self-help and personal growth, and there are podcasts galore on the subject. Immerse yourself in all these resources and know you’re not alone in this journey.
If You’re Feeling Blue, Write it Down
Invest in a pretty journal and jot down your thoughts and emotions before bedtime. Journaling is a powerful tool for healing. Write down any triggers you notice, including your fear of an uncertain future, which is only temporary.
As you experience four stages of grief: sadness, denial, anger, and eventually relief, make sure to add the calendar dates to monitor your progress.
Take in Some Fresh Air
Healing isn’t just emotional. It’s physical too. Get out of your sweats and into activewear, and go out for a daily jog or walk to take in some vitamin D and sunlight. A smartwatch can help you monitor your daily steps.
Do a Digital Detox
Unplug and take a break from social media and consider hiding or blocking your ex’s profile to avoid any temptation or digital stalking. Seeing your former partner with someone new will set you back, even if they’re with a distant cousin or transition person.
If you have an old dating profile, don’t be too quick to reactivate it. Instead, keep it hidden until you’re ready and truly available with the best version of yourself.
RELATED: Dating App Burnout? Try a Digital Dating Detox, Then Refresh
What to Do When You Come Out from Under the Covers
Once you feel ready to go out in the world again, schedule that spa day you had been putting off. Indulge in a relaxing stone massage, a reiki session, or a foot massage to pamper yourself.
Go ahead and take in a binge-worthy series your ex had no interest in watching. It’s your time to enjoy guilt-free entertainment.
Don’t listen to too much advice from your pals. Everyone will have an opinion, but it won’t help you move forward if your friends want to bash your ex or continue to revisit the past.
Seek Inspiration Through New Classes
Whether it’s hot yoga, bar class, pilates, or pickleball lessons, group activities are a great way to connect with new people, and will prevent you from feeling sorry for yourself. Don’t just sign up, but show up, even when you’d rather stay home. Social interaction is healthy for the mind, body, and soul.
RELATED: 7 Signs the Way You’re Dealing With Your Breakup is Unhealthy
Swipe, Click, and Press the Restart Button
There’s no strict timeline for when you’ll be ready to date again. Some believe it takes one month for every year you were together, but often during the last several months as a couple, your relationship was already over.
When You’re Ready, Create a Dating Profile
Did you know that 53% of couples meet online, while only 15% meet through friends? The digital dating universe is huge, with over 60 million singles in the U.S. using dating apps.
To get started, find one dating app to focus on and focus your energy there. Writing about yourself is harder than crafting a profile for your BFF. Enlist the help of a certified dating coach or friend to help you craft an intriguing profile that reflects the real you. Here are our tips on how to create an irresistible dating profile.
Once you start chatting and flirting, your self-esteem will be on the rise, and thoughts of your ex will fade like dust from the past.
Spring is Coming: A Time for New Beginnings
The first day of Spring is just around the corner on March 20th. The beginning of a new season is a great time to consider dating again. You’ve put in the work by investing in yourself, and now it’s time to re-enter the dating game.
As you continue on your journey of healing and self-discovery, make it a goal to re-enter the dating world this spring. With the warmer weather and an exciting new social calendar, your date card is bound to heat up in no time.
Like the song “Closing Time” from Semisonic, remember that “every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo
Julie Spira is the Digital Matchmaker® and America's Top Online Dating Expert. She's an award-winning certified dating coach who's been helping singles find their perfect match for over three decades. Follow @JulieSpira on IG and @digitalmatchmaker on TikTok.