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Valentine’s Gifts for Every Relationship Stage

Is gift giving for Valentine’s always complicated? We know the pressure of Valentine’s is on. You can’t help but notice the red candy boxes everywhere you go.

If you’re wondering what to get the new person you just started dating for Valentine’s Day, or perhaps want to get something for your long-time love, gift selection can be confusing, regardless of your relationship status.

Here’s our Valentine’s gifts cheat sheet for all relationship statuses.

Newly dating – If you’ve only had a few dates and aren’t exclusive yet, bringing her 1 dozen red tulips will brighten her Valentine’s Day. You won’t be splurging for expensive roses or going overboard, but will still have the impact of bringing her flowers. Start her day off by sending her a fun Valentine’s e-card. I’m a big fan of Jib-Jab, where you can customize the card with a photo of yourself or send a video card. Bringing her lingerie sends a message that you’re only looking for sex (who isn’t?), but at this point she should be selecting her her own lingerie. A gift card for a mani/pedi will always be appreciated.

Going Steady – Honeymoon Phase (1-3 months) – If you’ve been dating for a month or two, she’ll be expecting to be your Valentine’s date if geography doesn’t get in the way. At this point, bring her a gift certificate for a massage at her favorite spa, offer to cook her a meal and have in-room-dining and bring flowers.  Other fun items include sending her a box of chocolate covered strawberries, or bringing a bottle of her favorite wine or champagne. This way you can feed each other when it’s time for dessert.

Getting Serious – Imperfect Phase (4-6 months) – By now you’ve become an item. You might have even changed your Facebook relationship status to “In a Relationship” and have a drawer at her place. When you’re headed towards the half-year mark, she’ll want to receive roses from you. There are plenty of great sites online for you to order flowers from, or you can go to your local grocery store to pick up a dozen. When a woman doesn’t get flowers on Valentine’s Day, she starts to wonder if you’re still swooning over her. If you’ve taken a trip away together, bring her a personalized gift such as a silver framed photo of the two of you to memorialize your vacation together.

Totally in Love – Over 6 months  Once you’re headed towards the one-year mark, it’s time to up the ante in the love department. She’s going to want something very personal. If jewelry is in your budget, getting her a sterling silver heart necklace, trinket, or bracelet from Tiffany & Company, may end up on your list. If it’s too pricey, you can order a less expensive one on Amazon to show her that you care. For those of you ready to step it up, but aren’t ready to pop the Q, give her a lovely commitment ring. It will show you have all 10 toes in, without getting engaged or setting a wedding date.

It’s Complicated – The ex and almost ex – If your relationship is winding down or you’ve recently broken up, should you acknowledge someone who you didn’t go the distance with? Studies have shown that 20% of singles actually text an ex on Valentine’s Day. Whatever you do, don’t send mixed messages and send flowers to someone, when you’re in the arms of another. Trust me, it will sting. You can send them a birthday present, congratulate them on their new job, and call them on holidays to say hello. That is acceptable for every holiday, but Valentine’s Day. If you’ve moved on, sending chocolate covered strawberries shouldn’t be on your gift list. The best gift you can give, is the gift of time, so you both can move on.

What will you be giving as a Valentine’s gift this year?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

Sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice.

 

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Do Politics and Love Hurt or Help Your Relationship

Screen Shot 2016-02-03 at 4.34.24 PMIt’s politics season and if you’re getting ready to watch the debate with your date, or follow it on Twitter, listen and tweet closely as these stats might help you with your dating and love life.

In this year’s  Singles In America study published by Match, it was proven that talking about politics increases your chances of a second date by 91%.

That may be true, if you’re on the same political page, but for some, differing politics can add an explosion to your relationship.

Let’s take a look at how America’s singles feel about politics.

Hilary vs. Trump

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Hilary supporters are also more likely to do the following, as compared to Trump supporters.

  • Wait for “the one” (49%)
  • Want children (65%)
  • Discuss politics (70%)
  • Discuss marriage (266%)

What Side are Single Voters On?

Did you know there are over 107 million singles in the United States? Singles make up more than 1/3 of the U.S. adult population and they’re passionate about their politics.

Here’s the breakdown of party identification:

  • 19% Republican
  • 40% Democrat
  • 15% Independent
  • 2% Libertarians
  • 24% have no registered political affiliations

Morals and Values

The #SinglesInAmerica  study found that very few singles are willing to vote for a politician who has committed a crime (12%), had an affair (26%), or been caught in a lie (7%). On the other hand, singles are more willing to vote for a candidate who is single (75%), divorced (64%), or female (78%), and candidates with a successful business background (74%).

Rubio vs. Biden

Singles also weighed in on their romantic feelings about Republican candidate Marco Rubio and our current Vice President, Democrat Joe Biden.

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Those Passionate About Politics, Bring Their Passion to the Bedroom

Just how adventurous are you? While we believe in leaving the boardroom out of the bedroom, this study shows there’s a direct relationship between politics and passion.

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At the end of the day, watch a debate or two, and talk about it with your potential date. You’ll appear like you know what’s happening in the world and will score rating points on his or her date card.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for our Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

JUST RELEASED: Our 2nd edition of The Perils of Cyber-Dating is now available on Kindle and as an audio book, narrated by the author.

Listen to our book trailer here.

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Did You Know Tinder Has a Secret Desirability Code?

BBC 4 - Tinder DesirabilityGuess what? Tinder, the hottest mobile dating app now has an algorithm to secretly decide if you’re hot, or not.

The story broke when Fast Company’s Austin Carr got a glimpse of his score in a conversation with Tinder’s CEO, Sean Rad.

On BBC Radio 4, I discussed this feature on You & Yours with Winifred Robinson.

The BBC talked to some Tinder users and most weren’t excited to know they were being scored based on their desirability. The majority didn’t want to know their rating.

You can listen to the segment How the Dating App Tinder Calculates Its Desirability Score here. Click on Tinder when the segment opens up to hear our lively discussion.

How does Tinder calculate its desirability score?

Julie: When it comes to the mobile dating algorithms of Tinder, it’s a bit of a big secret. Nobody knows exactly how attractiveness is measured, but what we do know is that it’s based on things such as the amount of right swipes, the amount of mutual matches, and how well you have made your mobile dating profile. If you have a profile that is not filled out, you probably won’t be as desirable as someone who fills out their profile and uses all 6 photos, and actually writes a 2-3-sentence description of who they are and what they’re looking for.

When you say it’s counting right swipes, what’s the significance of the right swipe on Tinder?

Julie: when you swipe right it means “yes, I’m interested in this person” and if the person who is viewing your profile also decides to swipe right because they think you’re attractive, then you have a mutual match and you have the ability to chat with each other in a text-like form until you decide to meet in person.

Men right swipe more often. What are women doing?

Julie: Women are getting bombarded with potential matches and when they see people that don’t look very good, have blurry photos, or saying that they’re just looking to hook up, they’re going to swipe left. They’re very picky. Women will look at the profile and decide if they might want to go on a date with them. Men, on the other hand, are visual. It’s hot or not for them, and they just swipe right on almost anyone just to get a match.

Related: Tinder Update Ignites Gifs and New Flirting Features

Was it a big surprise when the truth emerged that Tinder is also calculating the attractiveness of people on the site?

Julie: I wasn’t surprised at all about Tinder’s new ELO score, that’s what they call it, with their hidden algorithms to determine if somebody is attractive or not. We’ve seen this with many other dating sites, including Ok Cupid, and for Ok Cupid premium members, you can actually see who has a higher rating or a lower rating on the attractiveness scale. So I’m not surprised. What I am surprised about is that it’s a secret for now, but I have a hunch that at some point they’re going to add that as a premium paid service for people that only want to swipe right on people that have a high desirability score.

Is it just an algorithm on Tinder and similar apps that work out how desirable you are? Is there any human input? Does anyone who works for the company look through your description and make a judgment or look at your photographs?

Julie: There are many dating companies that actually review the profiles and the photos before actually approving those. We see sites like Match.com and JDate that have a strict moderation policy where all photos and any changes to the profile have to get approved by a customer service team. So there are some checks and balances in place, but not necessarily on a mobile app like Tinder.

If you think you’re more interesting and attractive than the people you’re being matched up with, is there anything you can do about that?

Julie: I would not want to know. If I’m more attractive than the girl next door, then that’s someone else’s decision. But with this attractiveness level, it’s really an ego boost or an ego bust.

If you use these apps, is there anything you could do to boost your own rating?

Julie: When I work with singles, I actually critique and create Tinder profiles and profiles on other dating sites, I make sure that the 6 photos are really terrific. And the first photo is the first glance – you need to be looking into the camera and smiling. And if you’re a woman, I suggest you wear red because red is proven to be the color of love, romance, and the stop sign. Guys swipe right to more women wearing red. If you’re a guy, write something on your profile. And if you’re looking for something serious, say something in your profile like “not interested in a hookup,” “looking for the real deal.” And, of course, please no selfies in the mirror, and wear a shirt.

Related: Boyfriend is on Tinder, Should I Break Up With Him?

For more information on how to be successful with Tinder and other mobile dating apps, click here.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Watch our new book trailer for the revised edition of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

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Why the Super Bowl for Men is Like Valentine’s for Women

Valentine's Day versus the Super BowlIt’s officially Super Bowl week.

As we count down the days to Super Bowl 50 at Levi Stadium, whether you’re rooting for the Denver Broncos or the Carolina Panthers, one thing is for sure, it’s going to be an emotional and exciting two weeks for both men and women alike.

Women often wonder if men hate Valentine’s Day. Guys really want to know if women are cheering for their favorite team, or are they there just for the half time show.

This year, the Super Bowl and Valentine’s Day are exactly one week apart. Women get a bonus, as Valentine’s is on a three-day holiday weekend. Yes indeed. You can be romantic Friday, February 12th through Monday, February 15th with no excuses.

Valentine’s Day is the Super Bowl of Dating

I’ve gone on record as saying the Valentine’s Day for Women is like the Super Bowl for Men. It’s a double-header, so enjoy the ride. Most guys won’t even make a dinner reservation or ask a girl out until after Super Bowl Sunday. I encourage you not to wait until the last minute to ask your date to be your Valentine.

RELATED: HOW TO LAND A DATE FOR VALENTINE’S DAY

Here’s my side-by-side comparison of the Super Bowl and Valentine’s. 

Super Bowl Sunday is a sacred day for most American men. It’s showtime as most guys count down the days, hours, and even minutes to their favorite television day of the year.

Meanwhile, across the hall, women have their own favorite holiday to think about, Valentine’s Day. With these two major events exactly one week apart, it’s obvious that the Super Bowl for men is revered in the same way as Valentine’s Day is for women. Whether you’re a sports fan or a hopeless romantic, comparing the two will help you understand how important these days are for the opposite sex.

Why do I think the Super Bowl for men is like Valentine’s Day for women?

Quite simply, both men and women put all of their emotional energies into these two bigger-than-life events. Often, a woman doesn’t understand why watching two teams trying to score is so important to her guy. He just can’t miss this game. It’s the end of the season and the two best teams go for the ring.

Guys on the other hand, simply don’t understand that if you’re dating a woman and forget to plan something, just anything, for Valentine’s Day, you probably won’t get a date with her on February 15th, or shortly after. Guys, if you’re playing the field on mobile dating apps or flirting on Tinder, if you don’t ask our your digital crush, you lose. Game over.

Men wait all year for the Super Bowl, this big day in television. Women wait for Valentine’s Day, with the hope that their special guy will either propose, offer to take his online dating profile down, or say I love you for the first time. Women even secretly hope that the guy they are dating might want to change his Facebook status from ‘Single’ to ‘In a Relationship.’ It’s on the digital wish list for women, period.

Are you Prepared for Super Bowl and Valentine’s Day?

Men are very prepared for the Super Bowl. They decide which venue to view the game at and with whom they would like to spend watching the teams battle it out. Women like to be prepared. They will start giving little hints out a month in advance about their favorite romantic restaurant, with the hopes the the guy they are dating will take the cue and book a reservation before their favorite eatery is fully booked.

However in contrast, when a man’s favorite team loses the Super Bowl, he will be disappointed, but will get over it. He’ll know there’s another chance next year and will spend the entire football season rooting for his team. If a woman’s favorite beau or someone she is dating doesn’t ask her out for Valentine’s Day, she won’t get over it.

RELATED: 10 VALENTINE’S DATE IDEAS THAT WON’T BREAK THE BANK

She’ll assume he’s romancing another woman and will know she’s not on the top of his list. Chances are, his shelf life as her “number one guy” will immediately expire. Unless he’s out of town on business or in a long-distance relationship, he won’t get another chance to romance her. No woman wants to be at the bottom of the dating totem pole, especially on Valentine’s Day. Expect to be unfriended, or don’t be surprised if she doesn’t return your phone calls or texts.

So whether you like football or not, love or hate Valentine’s Day, remember to talk to the person you are dating about what these days mean to both of you. If you’re single, use this opportunity to accept all invitations for both the Super Bowl and Valentine’s singles mixers. Even if your team loses and you’re dateless on the 14th, you’ll be casting a wider net and expanding your social circle.

Go ahead and accept that Super Bowl party invitation. If you’re single, you just might find a date in time for Valentine’s as well. It’s a win-win for everyone. If you need help with your profile or online dating advice, we’re here to help.

Related: Social Media Rules for Valentine’s Day

Which team will you be rooting for this Super Bowl?

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for our Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

JUST RELEASED: Our 2nd edition of The Perils of Cyber-Dating is now available on Kindle and as an audio book, narrated by the author.

Listen to our book trailer here.

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Tinder Update Ignites Gifs and New Flirting Features

Flirting on Tinder just got easier. Instead of just swiping right on the mobile app and starting a chat with a potential love interest, their latest update (4.8.1) includes, among other things, access to a GIF library from the popular GIF app, Giphy.

Now, when you can’t think of a way to start a conversation with one of your matches, or don’t want to just say “hey,” you can send a GIF instead.

GIPHY-1

The mobile dating app now offers a diverse selection of GIFs to choose from, and even gives you a search option to find the perfect GIF for your digital crush.

IMG_1058How to Access the GIF Library

  1. Click the GIF button located to the left of the text box (in the exact same spot as the photo insert button in iMessage)
  2. You’ll immediately be shown some of the most popular GIFs.
  3. Search for GIFs by category from pop culture, to music, to a TV show, or even a popular meme.
  4. Click on the GIF and it will instantly be sent. 
  5. You message folder will say, You sent a GIPHY to each match who was a recipient of a GIF.

Before you start sending fun GIFs to your matches, take a deep digital breath before pushing the send button. Once you click on a GIF, it sends instantly without an option to preview it or add a message. You can’t undo the GIF button like you can with their premium rewind feature to take back that last left swipe.

So if you’ve ever been hit with a “Netflix and chill” on Tinder and wanted to delete your match, now you can express exactly how you were feeling while you rolled your eyes holding onto your mobile phone.

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With Tinder’s new update, users can also “like” messages by tapping the heart icon next to the received messages.

Related: Tinder vs. IRL: #OnTinderAtTender Trend

The greatest part of the new Tinder update, is the ability to upload photos from your camera roll instead of being limited to those already on Facebook.

The previous limitations on uploading photos from your camera roll were an attempt to establish authenticity among users and limit the amount of fake or nonexistent people creating profiles on the app.

Another huge addition to the app is the support of 3D Touch and the ability to preview web pages within conversations. You can also use 3D Touch before opening the app too. Much like using 3D Touch on your Messages app to open a recent conversation, you can now use it on Tinder to go straight to a conversation with one of your matches.

What are your thoughts on Tinder’s new updates?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and is the CEO of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more relationship advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

View our book trailer for The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love OnlineNEWLY REVISED with a magical epilogue and Bonus Audio Dating Advice.

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Tinder vs. IRL: A Digital Peek at #OnTinderAtTinder

Tinder #OnTinderAtTinderRecently, media outlet Someecards asked their readers to submit what they look like in pictures on their Tinder profiles compared to what they look like while browsing Tinder. The striking difference between the two is hilarious as, according to Someecards, the tweets sent in “fully support the stereotype that women on dating sites are mostly cat lady shut-ins.”

The hashtag’s full meaning is “How I look on Tinder” vs. “How I Look at Tinder” to expose the truth behind the photos we select for the mobile dating profile, as compared to how perfect we try to look to guarantee a right swipe on dating apps.

#OnTinderAtTinder Tinder Viral Hashtag

#OnTinderAtTinder went viral and the submissions are still pouring in. We all put forth the best, most swipe-able versions of ourselves online, according to Bustle, and I don’t disagree.

Related: Boyfriend is on Tinder. Should I Break Up With Him

While you work hard to present the best possible pictures of yourself on social media, and especially on dating apps, it’s important to remain genuine and real. Since you can select the best 6 photos from Facebook, and now from your camera roll as well, we’ll leave the swiping frenzy up to you.

Posting any photos online, whether it be on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or even Tinder, you should take the extra care to look your best. From choosing the right angle and proper lighting to picking the perfect filter (or sometimes multiple filters), you need to constantly make sure you’re putting your best digital foot forward. This new movement of honesty is a gentle reminder to be “just you” on social media, while still poking fun at the striking difference between our online and in-person appearances.

Related: Swipe Regret on Tinder? There’s Help for You

This viral hashtag sheds light on the fact that singles don’t show who they really are online. It also pokes fun at the superficial premise of Tinder.

With over 10 million members, over 9 billion matches and over 16 million swipes per day, now you can see your potential date in real time and decide if the real Tinder pictures are worth swiping right on, or not. Then again, it’s sill the quickest way to fill up your date card for Valentine’s.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and is the CEO of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more relationship advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

View our book trailer for The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, NEWLY REVISED with a magical epilogue and Bonus Audio Dating Advice.

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Celebrities Swiping Right for Love

Celebs Raya The LeagueWhen Tinder came out with verified profiles in 2015 to eliminate people thinking they ran into the Ryan Gosling instead of a fake, it was helpful for a while, but not exclusive enough for some celebs.

Recently a few apps have launched that are exclusively for celebrities. Much like some of the hottest clubs these celebs go to, these dating apps are private, invite-only apps that put them in touch with other high profile people.

The League Mobile Dating App

One app, The League, which started out in 2014 with a beta launch in San Francisco, invites users based on their LinkedIn profiles and their friend networks. The League uses an advanced screening algorithm to keep their dating pool well balanced and high quality.the league 1

The greatest thing about The League is that it uses your LinkedIn connections and completely hides your profile from your friends, business contacts, and coworkers. Who wouldn’t want a little stealth in their online dating? The app also uses your Facebook account to pull photos, personal information, and interests from your profile to match you more effectively

The downsides are that you’re only given 5 potential matches per day, and if you match with another user and don’t reach out to or respond to that match in 3 weeks, the match expires.

However, there are a couple of great things I noticed that I wish everyday folks on Tinder would get to experience.

Users of The League can set ultra-specific preferences for potential matches, including height, education, and ethnicity, as well as the Tinder-offered gender, age, and distance preferences. Matches can also be sorted into different categories based on how good of a match they are, how recently you matched, and how flaky the user is. Another cool thing about the app is the concierge service they offer to users. Every user gets a concierge to answer any questions they have about the app and to let them know about in-app updates.

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Raya Mobile Dating App

The other celeb-only app, Raya, aka the “Illuminati Tinder,” is an exclusive dating app and networking platform for people in creative industries. Raya launched in spring 2014 and has somehow, unlike The League, stayed totally out of the press until the recent announcement I viewed on Mashable that Amy Schumer met her new beau on Raya.raya 1

Raya is made of up a diverse group of people, but a group that is generally more Internet famous, like vloggers, artists, models, pro skateboarders and dancers, clothing designers, and even YouTube beauty guru. A secretive, anonymous committee admits each member to the app, based in part on their Instagram presence. Like The League, an algorithm that considers a few very key factors evaluates applicants on:

  • Overall Instagram influence,
  • Who recommended the applicant, and
  • How many active Raya members follow the applicant on Instagram

Instagram was the chosen platform for users to log in with because they believe it’s the most creative and expressive social network, which makes sense, considering Raya is designed for creatives.

There are two downsides to Raya. One, it charges users a membership fee, but Raya states on their website that it’s purely to “keep the lights on” and to eliminate advertisements that would cheapen the Raya experience. The other is, you’ll probably end up on their wait-list.

Celebrities on Tinder

As cool as these exclusive apps are, you still might find a celeb or two while you’re swiping through Tinder, or you’ve watched Jimmy Fallon’s frequent segments on Tinder for celebrities. A few celebs, like Hilary Duff and Britney Spears, have been spotted on Tinder. Duff even turned her Tinder experience into a music video for her song “Sparks,” off her 2015 album, Breathe In. Breathe Out, her first release in over 7 years. Mariah Carey also took to dating sites the rest of us use to promote her music as well by creating a profile and debuting the video to her break-up song, “Infinity,” on the site. Other artists, such as Ed Sheeran, were offered verified profiles, but the singer/songwriter turned it down, claiming he didn’t have time to be going on a lot of dates and that he’d rather spend his time talking about his music.

Dating pools on both The League and Raya are still relatively small since they’re so selective, so you may have better luck on apps available to non-celebs. It may take you a while to actually find an A-lister on an app like Tinder, but they’re out there, so keep swiping!

Let us help you find your dream date with SwipingRight

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Coaching programs.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Sign up for the free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

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10 Valentine’s Date Ideas That Won’t Break the Bank

Valentine's Dating IdeasIf you’re wondering what to do for Valentine’s Day and are on a budget,  we’ve come up with 10 out-of-the-box, fun and creative Valentine’s Day things to do with your significant other or date.

If the idea of buying a box of chocolates and one dozen roses sounds so cliché to you, you’ll enjoy these activities, regardless of your relationship status.

Let’s help you make it an evening, or weekend to remember.

1. Take a Dance Class Dancing to tango music can be very romantic. Dress up for the occasion and find a class near you. If tango isn’t your style, try salsa or hip-hop as an alternative. It will get your body moving and can get you in the mood for a romantic and memorable evening. Even if you can’t find a class anywhere, take your Valentine dancing at a local spot with live music anyway!

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2. Create a Digital Scavenger HuntWe know you’re attached to your mobile phones and tablets (it’s okay, so are we), so create a little mystery with your very own personalized scavenger hunt. Not sure where to start? Begin the day with a “Happy Valentine’s Day” text and send the first clue. When she arrives at the destination, send her a second clue requesting a Skype or FaceTime chat where you can wish each other a Happy Valentine’s Day, video style. Third, send another text message on where you’d like her to go next. Have her pampered with a manicure or pedicure to get ready for your big date night, or even send her to a spa for a relaxing massage. Fourth, at the end of the day, post a lovey picture of the two of you on her Facebook page for her and her friends to ‘like.’ Finally, send her a digital invitation with the exact location for your Valentine’s date. Remember to take photos along the way and share them on all of your social media accounts so everyone can see how you celebrated with you love.

Related: How to Land a Date for Valentine’s

3. Go Ice Skating.  Whether it’s ice-skating or roller-skating, take your Valentine to the closest rink in town. You’ll find yourselves reminiscing about your childhood memories, while you get a little physical activity. Remember to catch her if she falls!

4. Book His-and-Her Massages.  Having warm oil massaged into your body is surely a treat. If your relationship hasn’t moved in that direction yet, book Swedish massages for the two of you in separate rooms, so you both can enjoy the experience and compare notes afterwards and say hello to relaxation.

5. Go Wine TastingMany local wine bars allow you to stop by and taste several options before deciding on your favorite selection. Take your date to a bar known for their wine tastings, where you both can get a wine card for samples and compare notes. At the end of the night, buy him or her their new favorite bottle for the two of you to share on another date night.

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6. Enjoy In-Room Dining.  If you’ve waited until the last minute and realize that your date’s favorite restaurant is already booked, no need to fret! Pretend you’re on vacation and opt for an in-room dining alternative. You can take care of the appetizers and main course, but ask your date for input on the dessert the menu. Create great ambiance with candles, music, rose petals, and perhaps a bouquet of red tulips, if roses aren’t in your budget. After that romantic dinner, there’s not need to get a room. You’re already there.

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Related: Would you Text and Ex for Valentine’s

7. Make it About Music. There’s something uber romantic about sharing music with the one you love (or like). Plus, Shakespeare said, “If music be the food of love, play on.” Make your Valentine’s a night of music.   Buy your Valentine a music CD or create a playlist, then stay in and watch a recorded concert on TV. Download a mobile app where you can name that tune and see who wins.Make a music playlist for him or her as a gift, then go out to hear some live music together. If your date’s favorite band might be playing in the near future, surprise them and pick up some tickets as a gift. Hello Coachella and Stagecoach! If the show is months away, watch some live concerts on TV together and download some music to listen to together, so you can get pumped for the concert.

8. Go to an Amusement Park.  There’s something romantic about riding the Ferris wheel,  especially when it stops and you’re feeling like you’re on top of the world. Remember to kiss your Valentine when you’re staring at the stars together. Then hold your date tight as you ride the roller coaster together. Show them you’re there to protect him or her. Snap some photos and post them on Instagram (with permission from your date).

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9. Take a Cooking Class.  Guys actually enjoy being creative in the kitchen. It helps with relaxation, so take him to a cooking class, where the two of you can whip up a fancy meal. Find a place to go for dessert together, with your menus in hand and order chocolate. It’s the ultimate aphrodisiac.

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10. Go to a Fortune Teller or Psychic.  He love me, he loves me not? Stop by a fortune teller or card reader with your Valentine to see what the future will hold. Don’t worry, you don’t need to kiss-and-tell after your turn.

P.S. Take your profile down before Valentine’s Day. It’s a leap of good faith that will help you have a Happy Valentine’s Day.

How will you be celebrating Valentine’s Day this year?

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Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and is the CEO of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more relationship advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter and follow @Julie Spira on Instagram and Twitter.

View our book trailer for The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, NEWLY REVISED with a magical epilogue and Bonus Audio Dating Advice.

 

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#Snowmageddon: 7 Dating Ideas During a Blizzard

Snowstorm - Cyber Dating ExpertBundle up. It looks like a snowstorm may be headed your way. It’s another #Snowmageddon scheduled for the East Coast.

Believe it or not, being snuggled up with your new date is uber romantic in a blizzard.

Before you cancel your date, here are 6 tips to help you fall in love, or “like” with snow.

1. Go on a Skype or FaceTime Date

Still have electricity or a full battery on your computer? Get dressed up with what you’d wear on a date, remember to put on your lipstick ladies, and both of you grab a glass of wine or bubbly for the occasion. Log on and have a virtual date rather than canceling.

2. Binge Watch on Your favorite Shows or Films

Snuggled up with your date? Why not spend the day or evening binge watching some romance on Netflix if you can’t be at work. From Downton Abbey to Friends, or finding a classic rom-com,  you’ll be bonding with your sweetie and won’t be able turn off the TV.

3. Build a Snowman

If you can make it to his or her home, once the snow settles in, bundle up and go outside to build a snowman or make a snow angel. It’s playful and will bring you back to your youth. In between, indulge with a snowball fight or two.

4. Answer these 36 Love Questions

A Modern Love column on the New York Times reads, To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This. These questions from Psychologist Dr. Aron suggest they can help you fall in love with anybody. Some questions include: Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life and Tell your partner something that you like about them. This exercise should help you get to know each other better and has been known to be responsible for some marriages.

Not sure if that’s realistic or not? Why not give it a try.

5. Create an Indoor Scavenger Hunt

If the geography and transportation allow you to keep your scheduled date, a great way to make it fun and flirty is to create a treasure or scavenger hunt in your home. To do this, place romantic clues in envelopes around your house and number them. At each location, there will be a love note with suggestions for a kiss, a back rub, a foot massage, or whatever your imagination will allow.

6. Write a Traditional Love Note

If your electricity is out and the battery life has expired on your mobile phone, light a candle and grab and pen and paper. It’s time to get traditional and draft a hand-written love note. When you get together for your rescheduled date, hand him or her an envelope to open. You’ll be surprised how it will be received. If your penmanship isn’t the best, a lovey-dovey text never goes unappreciated.

7. Listen to This Audio Book

Download the Audible app on your mobile device and listen to the new audio book version of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. It’s four hours of dating stories and new bonus advice that will help you with your online dating journey. Our bonus chapters include the Epilogue (grab a tissue), which is after Chapter 17 on Kindle and Chapter 21 on Audible.

How has the snowstorm affecting your dating calendar?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and is the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more relationship advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

Photo credit: Fotolia

View our NEW book trailer for The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

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Happn Dating App Adds Voice Feature

HappnThey say you can fall in love with someone, just from hearing their voice.

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we  listed Happn as one of our favorite mobile dating apps to use in 2016.

As reported in Business Insider, Happn, the app that sends you notifications if you happen to cross paths with someone in your neighborhood or favorite watering hall, has added a new voice feature to their mobile dating app.

Happn now has 10 million members and is growing in popularity, hoping to catch up to Tinder, as their release shows they expect to reach 30 million users by the end of 2016.

Happn co-founder and CEO Didier Rappaport said in a statement: “This new voice feature provides our members with another opportunity to connect on a more personal level and create meaningful relationships.”

Rappaport added:

“The voice is something that is very emotional,” the French entrepreneur continued. “Just listening to the voice of someone else can give you a lot of impression.”

If you’re worried about your safety, don’t fret. You can only use the voice feature when both people agree to do so.

As mobile dating apps continue to grow in popularity, we will continue to keep you posted on new apps to shorten the search to help you find your dream date.

Here’s our review of Happn.

Happn Happn – Android, iOs, Windows Phone

Remember Craig’s List Missed Connections? Happn is a more modern day approach to matching with someone you’ve already crossed paths with, but never really connected. Every time you pass by a spot with another member IRL, you’ll get an instant push notification that another member is nearby and boom, you can meet instantly. Some may find it very efficient. Others may think it’s creepy, and might not want to meet after a sweaty yoga class. But then again, they wouldn’t be on this app if that were the case, so go ahead and be spontaneous. If you think you might miss out on a digital crush who hangs in the same h0od as you, but are on the shy side, this app is for you. Note: The app was created in France and is available in 25 cities around the world. They are starting to expand in the U.S. and may not have rolled out in your city yet.

How it works: Download the app and log in to Facebook, where yo can edit which information in your Facebook profile that you want to appear in your bio. You must enable your location services for the app to work. Every time you cross paths with another member, it will appear on your timeline feed. You can like someone’s profile by tapping on the heart button. If the feeling is mutual, you’ll be notified and you’ll be considered in the crush stage. You can also view how many times your paths have crossed. If you want to take it a step further, men can pay to to send a charm. There is no cost to women at this point. Charms are similar to Tinder’s “Super Like” feature, except you buy them in a package. Each charm is equal to using one credit.

Why we like it: You won’t have to wonder about the one who got away. You can also now sync with Instagram to see your potential date’s feeds and interests.

Are you using Happn?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, where she’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.

NEW: JUST RELEASED: The audio book version of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Now available on Audible and Amazon.

Listen to our Book Trailer here:

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