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What Happens to Relationships When Summer Ends

text end of summer on beach

Summer Love Affairs

From teenage crushes to boomers with empty nests, something odd happens around Labor Day weekend for many relationships. When you hit the 3-month mark, the honeymoon phase, it’s common to see a shift. It may be a tell tale sign that your relationship can’t go the distance, or you just might be getting tested for the next phase.

For those flying solo, the end of summer can be a reflective time thinking about your relationship status as you head into the holiday season, kicking off with Labor Day.

When summer is over, wardrobes change in closets, the temperature starts to dip, and inevitably a summer romance, one that went from Memorial Day to Labor Day, often runs its course. It’s often a time where relationships fall by the wayside. Before you call it quits, read this entire post to determine if your relationship is worth saving. If you’re already single, then I have good news for you. You’ll be in good company with many others who are looking for someone just like you and this weekend will be hopping digitally, big time.

Also, with students leaving for college, some students will find themselves in a long-distance relationship, which has its own set of challenges.

Single parents with children going back to school, will find their calendars split between parent-teacher meetings and filling up their date cards. It’s a new season, so get ready for the ride.

If you’re logging on to dating sites more often this weekend, you’re not alone. Sunday will be a peak day of the holiday weekend for new sign ups and log ins for singles who’d like to change their status to “In a Relationship” before the year is over.

Does a Change of Season Mean Your Relationship Has to End?

With the change of seasons, how do you know if you can handle a long distance relationship this fall? If your significant other is still in town, how do you know if your passionate summer love was just a fling or the real thing?

If you notice your relationship is tapering off as we lead into Labor Day, should you part ways as friends now that summer is over and wish each other well, or sign up for another season of love? These I can guarantee you are questions that you will be asking yourself. I suggest you take the time to really think about the next relationship stage.

Related: How to Handle the Dreaded Pull Back

The Four Seasons of a Long Term Relationship

I’ve always said that long-term relationships should go through multiple seasons to determine if you’re compatible with your significant other or not. Yes, winter, spring, summer and fall. All of them, each with their unique beauty and differences can help you pass the test of time.

First Three Months

As cliché as it sounds, we know there is some validity to the three-month honeymoon phase. At first, you’ll find everything about the other person to be exciting. It’s like having a first crush all over again. From giggles and hiccups to their exercise regime, you just suck it all in like a sponge that won’t dry out in those early days, especially in a summer romance. All those cute text messages are becoming part of your daily regime. It gives you a high just to hear the customized sound of your partner’s text tone.

When these relationships peak in the summer, it’s often hard to tell whether it’s lust or love with all of the outdoor heat, but oddly, as the summer ends, it’s not unusual to start receiving less text messages from your beau, or to want to spend more time with your friends instead. The days in between getting together seem to be getting longer while the days start to become shorter. The routine of your love life just isn’t as exciting as it used to be.

Months 3-6

During months 3-6, the “imperfect stage,” don’t be surprised if your single friends see your steady sweetie’s profile reactivated online. He or she may just be fishing to see who else might send a text or email, even if they aren’t setting up any dates. Then a Facebook check in mysteriously appears when someone is supposed to be home sick and boom, they’re busted and you’re in tears. During this phase, you should be enjoying time with each others’ friends and family to see how everyone fits in, or not.

If you can relate to these feelings or sequence of events, the problem may not be with the calendar, but more often-than-not be related to serious commitment issues that one of you may be struggling with.

The next think you know, someone isn’t sure if they’re feeling it anymore. Rather than be honest about the relationship, they’re cultivating conversations on Facebook with high school or college pals to create distance, and the trust dissipates. It’s the beginning of the end and it hurts big time.

Weather changes, months change, routines change and even those relationships with the best of intentions run their course. At the end of the summer, it’s like the end of the calendar year. People reevaluate their relationship statuses and decide whether to renew for another three months.

Related: What to Do When He Pulls Back

By months 6-9 and 9-12, you’re probably in a committed relationship. You’ve defined the relationship and might even talk about moving in together or the future.  This doesn’t mean you won’t feel a shift at the end of the summer. It might be just a bump on the road, but it’s a time to review your relationship status and see if you’re on the same page.

What to Do if Your Summer Romance is Fading

If you feel a distance growing between the two of you, this is what you need to do.

Have the conversation first with your partner sooner, rather than later.

Don’t toss away the relationship so quickly. Acknowledge all of the amazing things you’ve done together as a couple and honor the memories you’ve shared. Ask the other person if there’s anything they can do to keep the relationship alive. Space apart isn’t the end of the world, or even the end of your relationship. Often someone needs some time to miss the other and pulls back to regain their sense of self and individuality.  Remember, bumps on the road are an opportunity for personal growth within a relationship, and are not necessarily the beginning of the end.

Say goodbye gracefully.

If at the end of your conversation, you feel you aren’t compatible or if someone has already strayed, wish each other well before you start logging on or swiping right on your mobile apps looking for a replacement.

If it’s really over, it’s important to mourn the loss of your relationship, because your friendship, bond and the daily connectivity will abruptly end. Trying to get together immediately as friends during this emotional time is not a good idea. It will backfire. There’s no such thing as a mutual breakup where everyone is happy. One person might think it will lessen their guilt. I’m here to tell you that it won’t. You fell in love with someone for a reason, not a season.

Related: Time to Let Go of Your Ex

Take a breather and make time for you!

If you find that your summer love has ended, don’t reactivate your online dating profile or mobile dating apps for at least a week. Sure it’s great for your ego to get people lining up to meet you for dates, but it isn’t fair for someone new not to get the best version of you. Dating while you’re still pining away for your ex can increase your sadness. You’re a walking-wounded person and it’s healthy to take a break.

Can you Really be Friends with Your Ex?

Some people stay friends with their ex’s and have no problem with it, but I can tell you it doesn’t happen seamlessly and instantly. My ex-boyfriend is one of my best friends, but it took time to get to that point and we had a serious talk about boundaries. Also the guy I originally wrote this article about three years ago just sent a text over Labor Day weekend, after disappearing many years ago.

After enough time has gone by and you both have moved on with other relationships, it’s possible to be friends with your summer romance in another season, but in my experience, you truly need at least three to six months to segue a romantic relationship into a real friendship (without benefits or jealousy).

But then again, do you really want to be friends with someone who broke your heart?

If you’re ready to find a serious relationship, contact us now for our Labor Day Special of 20% off Irresistible Profiles  and become one of our many success stories!

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram. Sign up for the free Weekly Flirt.

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7 Online Dating Photo Tips to Rock Your Summer Profile

Match tells us things will be heating up this summer online, specifically on June 27th, the busiest day of the summer. They asked me to write a post for their blog with some tips to freshen up your online dating profile for summer.

As someone who’s been creating dating profiles for two decades, I can tell you that neglecting to refresh your profile and keeping it stagnant might result in an empty date card. Ouch. It’s summer and you should be having fun, right?

Since you switch your wardrobes for the summer season (out with the wool and in with the white), let’s do the same with a digital facelift for your online dating and mobile dating profile photos.

Photos

Men and women are visual creatures by nature, it’s just a fact of life! The first thing we see about anyone is their face, so profiles without even one photo will be passed over in a digital moment.

  1. What’s the number? Besides your main profile photo, you should have a handful of other pictures that depict you in different settings and showcase your personality. In my opinion, five is the magic number of photos to upload to your profile. Four to six is perfect. Anymore, post them on social media instead. Any less, and someone will wonder what you’re hiding.
  2. Grab a BFF and Have a Photo Party. Don’t like taking pictures of yourself or find it impossible to decide on the best pictures of you? One fun and easy way to snap more pictures of yourself is to grab a best friend and either a digital camera or high quality smartphone camera. Then, put on a your own fashion show by shopping in your closet and picking out 3-5 great outfits that make you feel your best!
  3. Use Social Media Photos. Another tip is to head over to your Facebook profile and grab your best, smiling/happy pictures to add to your dating profile. Make sure to caption the photos with the location and date the photo was taken so members will know they’re recent.

 

4. Wear red! For the ladies, you should ditch the little black dress so you don’t look like every other profile photo. Research from the University of Rochester has shown that photos of women wearing red get more views and more dates than any other color. Red is the color of love and passion, so it’s a no-brainer!

5. Ditch the selfies. We are dating in a selfie-crazed world, so it’s more than normal for your Instagram feed to be loaded with fun selfies. However, for your dating profile, selfies don’t always make you look your best or most social. Have someone you trust to hold your phone when you have the urge to take a selfie for dating profile purposes.

6. Look to the left. Studies have shown that when you look to your left, your best emotions will shine. However, if you’re looking to the right in your favorite photo, that’s no problem! Just use some photo editing software or a simple photo editing app to reverse the image to get a left side-facing photo.

7. Wear summery outfits. Find something fun, colorful, and summer-like to wear in your profile shots. A well-fitted t-shirt and jeans works well for the guys, whereas ladies do best in a flirty sundress. To speak more to the season, take down the snow skiing shots and replace them with photos that show summer-based activities, like water skiing or lounging by the pool. That said, try to avoid posting any sort of swimsuit picture — you don’t want to show too much too soon.

To read the full post with more tips, check Match.com’s blog here!

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and as an early adopter of online dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades.  Julie ranks as the most influential person in “dating” and “online dating” in social media. Follow her @JulieSpira on TwitterInstagram, and Facebook and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice.

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It’s the Busiest Summer Time for Online Dating

As summer’s starting to heat up, do you know what that means? It’s time for summer love. Are you ready?

Our friends at Match recently conducted a study and found that summer is the best time of the year to start online dating.  So grab your mobile phone, tablet, computer, and a smile as June 27th is around the corner and it’s the busiest day for online dating this summer.

As you dive into online dating this summer, here are some fun date ideas to suggest to your digital crush to add to your date card.

Dr. Helen Fisher, Biological Anthropologist and Match’s Chief Scientific Advisor, said in a press release that, “Sunlight gives people energy.”

“We humans don’t have a mating season; we breed all year long. But increasing light does give us a sunny personality and more energy and optimism – all of which could increase our sexuality.”

Get ready to fill your date card for Monday, June 27th, and for the rest of the summer, with these hot summer date ideas.

1. Hike

2. Barbecue 

3. Catch an Outdoor Movie

4. Attend a Music Festival

5. Prepare a Meal and Have a Picnic

6. Go Stargazing

7. Explore at a Farmer’s Market

8. Attend a Baseball Game

9. Be Tourists

10. Ride a Roller Coaster

The study also identified the top 10 cities where users communicate the most during this season, so you just might want to change your zip code and cast a wider net if your city isn’t on this list.

Top 10 Flirtiest Cities in the Summer

1. Winston-Salem, NC
2. Stockton, CA
3. Raleigh, NC
4. Springfield, MA
5. Hartford, CT
6. Durhamn-Chapel Hill, NC
7. Santa Rosa, CA
8. Jacksonville, FL
9. Manchester, NH
10. Tucson, AZ

Are you ready for summer love? If not, we’re here to help, so check out our Irresistible Dating Coaching plans to help you find the love of your life.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of online dating and as a celebrity dating coach, has been helping singles on finding love online for over two decades with her Irresistible Profiles coaching programs.  Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online .

For dating advice, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.

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How to Date a Single Dad on Father’s Day

Father's Day - Cyber Dating ExpertIf you’re wondering if you should be joining the guy you’ve been dating on Father’s Day, here are some dating and relationship tips to honor the dad your adore in your life.

Since it’s almost Father’s Day and if you’re lucky enough to be dating a divorced or single man with children, it can be an exciting day to share together.

Keep in mind it’s also a day filled with emotions for all, especially his kids (and ex-wife).

5 Ways to Celebrate Father’s Day with the Man You’re Dating

1. New Relationship – If your relationship is new and you haven’t met his kids yet, let him enjoy the day alone with them. It’s not time to introduce the new girlfriend to the relationship. Remember to send a sweet text message in the morning wishing him a “Happy Father’s Day.” He’ll appreciate that you care enough to acknowledge the day and aren’t making the day all about you or the relationship status.

2. Already Met His Kids – If you’ve already met his kids and don’t have children of your own, have a conversation about how he wants to spend the day. He may or may not want to include you in the day if he’s concerned about his own time with his kids, so don’t take it personally. Offer to celebrate Father’s Day with him separately by suggesting making a home cooked dinner the night before as a “date night” or by giving him tickets to his favorite sporting or concert event for him and his children to go to together.

3. Blending the Families – If you have children of your own, don’t insist on blending the families if your children won’t be with their father or suggest splitting the time on Father’s Day between two families. Everyone will feel a bit left out with half of a celebration. Go ahead and let your date know you respect his time with his children and make other plans with your kids and go to a movie. Father’s Day is still a day to celebrate the mother in their life.

4. Gift-Giving – Don’t go buying him an extravagant gift if your relationship is new, give him a photo montage of just the two of you, or suggest going away for a romantic weekend trip. He might feel overwhelmed if you haven’t become serious or “Facebook Official” yet and could withdraw from the relationship into that man cave of his. Instead, send him an iTunes musical CD if he loves music from his favorite band, or send a fun e-card. I’m a big fan of JibJab filled with cute and whimsical animated music cards. It’s the thought that matters.

5. Don’t Assume You’re Included – If you’ve met his kids and see them on a regular basis, ask your guy if he wants to be alone with them on Father’s Day. Then ask him to talk about it with his children to see if they’d like to go out as a group or just with their dad. Maybe they will go golfing or bowling during the day and you can meet them later on for a barbecue. His kids will appreciate that you consider their feelings on the day that they celebrate their dad.

Remember, single dads are really interested in meeting women who want to share time with their children, at an appropriate time. Match reports that single dads are 56% more likely to email single moms than men without children. Eventually if your relationship progresses, you’ll be blending the families on his weekends, but don’t rush into it just yet.

How are you planning on celebrating Father’s Day this year?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and creates irresistible profiles and coaches singles on the dating scene. Like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice. Interested in improving your odds on Tinder? Check out SwipingRight to help you find your dream date.

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Looking to get Hitched? These 1st Messages Lead to Marriage

Do you have dreams of being a June bride or groom?

Have you ever wondered what the secret is to turning digital love into eternal love?

It appears the answer lies in the first message you send to your online crush.

In a recent study, our friends at PlentyOfFish surveyed over 1,000 of their former users in the United States who are now married to their partners whom they met online. They shared with us what made them think they’d found “the one.”

You Had Me At “Hello”

In their survey results, POF found two common first messages respondents received. The most popular first message (17%) highlighted something in a user’s profile that caught their crush’s eye.

The second?

“Hey, what’s up?”

This may be a sign we should rethink looking past this simple message, as it could turn into something long term.

first message

Respondents also said they kept things relatively simple for their first date. The most popular first date among the married couples surveyed was dinner, followed by coffee or drinks, and finished up with an evening stroll.

How Long Until You Know They’re “The One?”

When it came to the first date, men fell hard for their dates faster than women.

More men also reported falling in love at first sight  (17%) than women (11%).

Overall, 40% of respondents said they knew they found “The One” after only a few weeks. Sometimes you just know.

The one

Most Online Daters Are True Romantics

An impressive majority of POF users stated they believed in soulmates, with over 76% of married respondents agreeing (72% of men and 78% of women).

soulmates

Final Advice From the Happy Couples

POF asked the respondents their best piece of advice they wish someone had told them during their online dating days.

Most of the couples said they wished they had said “yes” to more dates, sent and replied to more messages, and allowed themselves to have more fun (22%).

The most popular piece of advice (44%) the would have given themselves is to ditch the idea of having a “type” online. You never know, by expanding your type and opening up your preferences in a significant other, you could end up meeting someone you never would have met otherwise!

advice for dating online

Are you looking for love online?

Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and has been coaching singles for over two decades.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

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How to Pimp Your Profile for Valentine’s

13 News Now Julie Spira

It’s Valentine’s Week at at ABC in Norfolk VA, they’ve declared it #loveweek.

It was an honor and joy to be interviewed by ABC’s 13 News Now on how to have the best online dating profile.

In our video below, I share the best profile dating tips with reporter Andre Senior including:

  • The catchy screen name
  • Profile word count
  • Photos
  • Captions
  • Truth-in-advertising

Plus I shared a personal story from my book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

Full article at 13 News Now

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for our free Weekly Flirt newsletter filled with dating advice and delivered to your inbox.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been coaching singles on how to find love online for over 20 years. Julie’s a frequent guest in the media with her online dating and mobile dating advice. She ranks as the most influential person in dating and online dating on social media influence site, Klout.

The Perils of Cyber-Dating

Listen to our audio book trailer for the newly revised bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, now available on Audible, Kindle, and Amazon.

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Valentine’s Gifts for Every Relationship Stage

Is gift giving for Valentine’s always complicated? We know the pressure of Valentine’s is on. You can’t help but notice the red candy boxes everywhere you go.

If you’re wondering what to get the new person you just started dating for Valentine’s Day, or perhaps want to get something for your long-time love, gift selection can be confusing, regardless of your relationship status.

Here’s our Valentine’s gifts cheat sheet for all relationship statuses.

Newly dating – If you’ve only had a few dates and aren’t exclusive yet, bringing her 1 dozen red tulips will brighten her Valentine’s Day. You won’t be splurging for expensive roses or going overboard, but will still have the impact of bringing her flowers. Start her day off by sending her a fun Valentine’s e-card. I’m a big fan of Jib-Jab, where you can customize the card with a photo of yourself or send a video card. Bringing her lingerie sends a message that you’re only looking for sex (who isn’t?), but at this point she should be selecting her her own lingerie. A gift card for a mani/pedi will always be appreciated.

Going Steady – Honeymoon Phase (1-3 months) – If you’ve been dating for a month or two, she’ll be expecting to be your Valentine’s date if geography doesn’t get in the way. At this point, bring her a gift certificate for a massage at her favorite spa, offer to cook her a meal and have in-room-dining and bring flowers.  Other fun items include sending her a box of chocolate covered strawberries, or bringing a bottle of her favorite wine or champagne. This way you can feed each other when it’s time for dessert.

Getting Serious – Imperfect Phase (4-6 months) – By now you’ve become an item. You might have even changed your Facebook relationship status to “In a Relationship” and have a drawer at her place. When you’re headed towards the half-year mark, she’ll want to receive roses from you. There are plenty of great sites online for you to order flowers from, or you can go to your local grocery store to pick up a dozen. When a woman doesn’t get flowers on Valentine’s Day, she starts to wonder if you’re still swooning over her. If you’ve taken a trip away together, bring her a personalized gift such as a silver framed photo of the two of you to memorialize your vacation together.

Totally in Love – Over 6 months  Once you’re headed towards the one-year mark, it’s time to up the ante in the love department. She’s going to want something very personal. If jewelry is in your budget, getting her a sterling silver heart necklace, trinket, or bracelet from Tiffany & Company, may end up on your list. If it’s too pricey, you can order a less expensive one on Amazon to show her that you care. For those of you ready to step it up, but aren’t ready to pop the Q, give her a lovely commitment ring. It will show you have all 10 toes in, without getting engaged or setting a wedding date.

It’s Complicated – The ex and almost ex – If your relationship is winding down or you’ve recently broken up, should you acknowledge someone who you didn’t go the distance with? Studies have shown that 20% of singles actually text an ex on Valentine’s Day. Whatever you do, don’t send mixed messages and send flowers to someone, when you’re in the arms of another. Trust me, it will sting. You can send them a birthday present, congratulate them on their new job, and call them on holidays to say hello. That is acceptable for every holiday, but Valentine’s Day. If you’ve moved on, sending chocolate covered strawberries shouldn’t be on your gift list. The best gift you can give, is the gift of time, so you both can move on.

What will you be giving as a Valentine’s gift this year?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

Sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice.

 

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Do Politics and Love Hurt or Help Your Relationship

Screen Shot 2016-02-03 at 4.34.24 PMIt’s politics season and if you’re getting ready to watch the debate with your date, or follow it on Twitter, listen and tweet closely as these stats might help you with your dating and love life.

In this year’s  Singles In America study published by Match, it was proven that talking about politics increases your chances of a second date by 91%.

That may be true, if you’re on the same political page, but for some, differing politics can add an explosion to your relationship.

Let’s take a look at how America’s singles feel about politics.

Hilary vs. Trump

politics-infographic-2-HR

Hilary supporters are also more likely to do the following, as compared to Trump supporters.

  • Wait for “the one” (49%)
  • Want children (65%)
  • Discuss politics (70%)
  • Discuss marriage (266%)

What Side are Single Voters On?

Did you know there are over 107 million singles in the United States? Singles make up more than 1/3 of the U.S. adult population and they’re passionate about their politics.

Here’s the breakdown of party identification:

  • 19% Republican
  • 40% Democrat
  • 15% Independent
  • 2% Libertarians
  • 24% have no registered political affiliations

Morals and Values

The #SinglesInAmerica  study found that very few singles are willing to vote for a politician who has committed a crime (12%), had an affair (26%), or been caught in a lie (7%). On the other hand, singles are more willing to vote for a candidate who is single (75%), divorced (64%), or female (78%), and candidates with a successful business background (74%).

Rubio vs. Biden

Singles also weighed in on their romantic feelings about Republican candidate Marco Rubio and our current Vice President, Democrat Joe Biden.

Screen Shot 2016-02-03 at 3.28.12 PM

Those Passionate About Politics, Bring Their Passion to the Bedroom

Just how adventurous are you? While we believe in leaving the boardroom out of the bedroom, this study shows there’s a direct relationship between politics and passion.

Screen Shot 2016-02-03 at 3.28.34 PM

At the end of the day, watch a debate or two, and talk about it with your potential date. You’ll appear like you know what’s happening in the world and will score rating points on his or her date card.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for our Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

JUST RELEASED: Our 2nd edition of The Perils of Cyber-Dating is now available on Kindle and as an audio book, narrated by the author.

Listen to our book trailer here.

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10 Valentine’s Date Ideas That Won’t Break the Bank

Valentine's Dating IdeasIf you’re wondering what to do for Valentine’s Day and are on a budget,  we’ve come up with 10 out-of-the-box, fun and creative Valentine’s Day things to do with your significant other or date.

If the idea of buying a box of chocolates and one dozen roses sounds so cliché to you, you’ll enjoy these activities, regardless of your relationship status.

Let’s help you make it an evening, or weekend to remember.

1. Take a Dance Class Dancing to tango music can be very romantic. Dress up for the occasion and find a class near you. If tango isn’t your style, try salsa or hip-hop as an alternative. It will get your body moving and can get you in the mood for a romantic and memorable evening. Even if you can’t find a class anywhere, take your Valentine dancing at a local spot with live music anyway!

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2. Create a Digital Scavenger HuntWe know you’re attached to your mobile phones and tablets (it’s okay, so are we), so create a little mystery with your very own personalized scavenger hunt. Not sure where to start? Begin the day with a “Happy Valentine’s Day” text and send the first clue. When she arrives at the destination, send her a second clue requesting a Skype or FaceTime chat where you can wish each other a Happy Valentine’s Day, video style. Third, send another text message on where you’d like her to go next. Have her pampered with a manicure or pedicure to get ready for your big date night, or even send her to a spa for a relaxing massage. Fourth, at the end of the day, post a lovey picture of the two of you on her Facebook page for her and her friends to ‘like.’ Finally, send her a digital invitation with the exact location for your Valentine’s date. Remember to take photos along the way and share them on all of your social media accounts so everyone can see how you celebrated with you love.

Related: How to Land a Date for Valentine’s

3. Go Ice Skating.  Whether it’s ice-skating or roller-skating, take your Valentine to the closest rink in town. You’ll find yourselves reminiscing about your childhood memories, while you get a little physical activity. Remember to catch her if she falls!

4. Book His-and-Her Massages.  Having warm oil massaged into your body is surely a treat. If your relationship hasn’t moved in that direction yet, book Swedish massages for the two of you in separate rooms, so you both can enjoy the experience and compare notes afterwards and say hello to relaxation.

5. Go Wine TastingMany local wine bars allow you to stop by and taste several options before deciding on your favorite selection. Take your date to a bar known for their wine tastings, where you both can get a wine card for samples and compare notes. At the end of the night, buy him or her their new favorite bottle for the two of you to share on another date night.

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6. Enjoy In-Room Dining.  If you’ve waited until the last minute and realize that your date’s favorite restaurant is already booked, no need to fret! Pretend you’re on vacation and opt for an in-room dining alternative. You can take care of the appetizers and main course, but ask your date for input on the dessert the menu. Create great ambiance with candles, music, rose petals, and perhaps a bouquet of red tulips, if roses aren’t in your budget. After that romantic dinner, there’s not need to get a room. You’re already there.

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Related: Would you Text and Ex for Valentine’s

7. Make it About Music. There’s something uber romantic about sharing music with the one you love (or like). Plus, Shakespeare said, “If music be the food of love, play on.” Make your Valentine’s a night of music.   Buy your Valentine a music CD or create a playlist, then stay in and watch a recorded concert on TV. Download a mobile app where you can name that tune and see who wins.Make a music playlist for him or her as a gift, then go out to hear some live music together. If your date’s favorite band might be playing in the near future, surprise them and pick up some tickets as a gift. Hello Coachella and Stagecoach! If the show is months away, watch some live concerts on TV together and download some music to listen to together, so you can get pumped for the concert.

8. Go to an Amusement Park.  There’s something romantic about riding the Ferris wheel,  especially when it stops and you’re feeling like you’re on top of the world. Remember to kiss your Valentine when you’re staring at the stars together. Then hold your date tight as you ride the roller coaster together. Show them you’re there to protect him or her. Snap some photos and post them on Instagram (with permission from your date).

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9. Take a Cooking Class.  Guys actually enjoy being creative in the kitchen. It helps with relaxation, so take him to a cooking class, where the two of you can whip up a fancy meal. Find a place to go for dessert together, with your menus in hand and order chocolate. It’s the ultimate aphrodisiac.

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10. Go to a Fortune Teller or Psychic.  He love me, he loves me not? Stop by a fortune teller or card reader with your Valentine to see what the future will hold. Don’t worry, you don’t need to kiss-and-tell after your turn.

P.S. Take your profile down before Valentine’s Day. It’s a leap of good faith that will help you have a Happy Valentine’s Day.

How will you be celebrating Valentine’s Day this year?

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Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and is the CEO of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more relationship advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter and follow @Julie Spira on Instagram and Twitter.

View our book trailer for The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, NEWLY REVISED with a magical epilogue and Bonus Audio Dating Advice.

 

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Fun Dating Ideas for a Rainstorm

 

Dating Rain Storm

Grab your umbrellas and galoshes. It’s raining. When it rains in Los Angeles, it’s a hard news story, especially with the current drought conditions

Growing up on the East Coast, I remember the first blizzards of the season happening about the same time as our current downpour in the ‘City of Angels.’

Last year, people panicked and filled up their pantries with food and water for the first blizzard of 2015. When #Snowmageddon was heading to the East Coast with record anticipated snowfall from New York to Boston, it was a major news story.

Now, we much have needed rain to fill our empty reservoirs and drop a ton of snow on the mountains to keep the ski resorts flourishing on the West Coast.

The phenomenon in Los Angeles when it rains has always mystified me.

Golf games are canceled, birthday lunches have empty seats, movie screenings are not well-attended, and those who dare to drive tend to slam on their breaks, so accidents are abundant when it’s raining outside.

Now to the subject of dating. Don’t cancel your dates!

Singles who have filled their date cards are probably wondering whether to cancel their dates or not. Don’t be a rain-flake. There are an abundance of songs about rain that are uber-romantic, so grab your umbrellas and mobile phones, but don’t change your plans, and please don’t cancel your dates.

Whether you stay in or go out, here are some dating ideas for a rainy day or night.

1. Go on a Skype or FaceTime Date

Get dressed up with what you’d wear on a date, and remember to put on your lipstick ladies. The two of you should pour a glass of wine or bubbly for the occasion. Date night is still on, it’s just a digital date.  Log on and have a virtual date rather than canceling your plans.

2. Answer these 36 Love Questions

A Modern Love column on the New York Times reads, To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This. These questions from Psychologist Dr. Aron suggest they can help you fall in love with anybody. Some questions include:

  • Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life
  • Tell your partner something that you like about them.

This exercise should help you get to know each other better and has been known to be responsible for some marriages.

Not sure if that’s realistic or not? Why not give it a try.

3.  Watch ‘Downton Abbey’ or Binge Watch on Netflix

Snuggled up with your date? Why not spend the day or evening binge watching some romance on Netflix. If you recorded the Season Premiere of  ‘Downton Abbey,’ it could be a perfect time to watch it together.  P.S. There are some romantic scenes in the first episode of season six.

4. Take a Walk Under an Umbrella

Men love to be protectors. Here’s your chance guys to show her your chivalrous side. Keep that date and take a walk with her, while keeping her dry. As your cuddled up together under the umbrella, you’ll be hugging and maybe even kissing. It’s worth not canceling a date for, believe me.

5. Send Each Other Songs About Rain

Stay digitally connected with music throughout the night. It’s fun playing ‘Name that Tune’ and even William Shakespeare said, ‘If music be the food of love, play on.” From “Bus Stop” by the Hollies to Led Zeppelin’s “Rain Song,” there’s a rainy day song just for the two of you.

Read 30 Great Love Songs About Rain.

6. Create an Indoor Scavenger Hunt

If the geography and transportation allows you to keep your scheduled date, a great way to make it fun and flirty is to create a treasure or scavenger hunt inside your home. To do this, place romantic clues in envelopes around your house and number them. At each location, there will be a love note with suggestions for a kiss, a back rub, a foot massage, or whatever your imagination will allow.

7. Write a Traditional Love Note

If your electricity goes out and the battery life has expired on your mobile phone, light a candle and grab and pen and paper. It’s time to get traditional and draft a hand-written love note. When you get together for your rescheduled date, hand him or her an envelope to open. You’ll be surprised how it will be received.

Will you be canceling your dates or be taking a digital approach to stay in touch?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and is the CEO of CyberDatingExpert.com, where they create Irresistible Dating Profiles and coach singles on the dating scene. For more relationship advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, and Instagram

 

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