Cyber-Dating Expert Dating Secrets Archives - Cyber Dating Expert : Cyber Dating Expert
In the News

7 Ways to Find a Date By Valentine’s Day

7 Ways to Find a Date for Valentine'sValentine’s is about one month away, and it’s countdown time for romance.

Some singles are stressing big time about how to find a date for the most romantic day of the year. Others could care less and will hang out with friends or hide under the sheets alone.

If finding a date for Valentine’s is on your list, I have great news for you. With a little effort and the help of your mobile phone, you can get lucky and find a date by Valentine’s Day.

7 tips for singles to get lucky in love by Valentine’s Day

1. RSVP to all events and parties

Whether it’s a business mixer or speed dating event, go out, dress up, and wear that smile of yours. Search for events on Eventbrite, Facebook, and don’t be shy.

2. Update your online dating profile

If your primary shot was from last year, or even six month ago, it’s outdated. It’s time for a digital facelift to show off the new you. Post photos from a recent trip and caption them if you can. Find your favorite photos that got the most likes on Facebook or Instagram, and add them to your profile. If you got a new puppy add a cute photo of your four-legged friend to your profile, but don’t use it as a primary shot.

RELATED: What to Do if He Doesn’t Ask Me Out for Valentine’s Day

3. Start Swiping! Download 3 mobile dating apps

Research shows that singles are using on average three mobile dating apps. They’re so easy to use and you can find a date in minutes, not days. A Pew research survey showed that the number of millennials using dating sites and apps has tripled in the last few years! Connect your instagram feed or spotify account to your mobile profile, so people can see exactly what you look like now, and know your musical taste.

4. Be proactive and Upgrade During Peak Times

It’s peak season, now through Valentine’s Day, with Sunday being one of the most popular days for onlien daters. I always say, “The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.” If you’re online, write to 5-10 people a day. Respond quickly and turn on those push notifications to find out when your digital crush sends you a message!

Upgrade during peak times and rush hour for just a few dollars to a premium service on sites such as OkCupid and Match.

Use the “Boost” feature on Tinder to appear at the top of the list in a search, where you can be viewed more than 10 times than normal. Yes, for less than the price of one cup of coffee, it’s worth a shot.

5. Check out your single friends on Facebook 

Flirting on Facebook? If so, you’re not alone. Check out his or her relationship status and if it it says “single,” go ahead and start flirting on Facebook chat. Plenty of couples have found love on the world’s largest social network, as can be seen on FacebookLoveStories.com.

RELATED: Facebook Love Stories: Showcasing Tales of Romance and Dishing Out Tips for Dating on Social Media

6. Go to a restaurant or coffee shop with WIFI

Working from home? Why be alone when you can be out in public with your computer instead. Make sure to dress up and take walks to the restroom or pass by as many people as possible with a smile on your face. It will become your new office to work and flirt. Stop, stare, and smile.

7. Text an ex 

As a last resort, know that 20% of singles do text their former love on Valentine’s if they’re flying solo, and over 50% of singles have tried to get back together with an ex. Go ahead and send a quick Happy Valentine’s message with an emoticon to your former flame. If you decide to do so, do it in the morning, not at night, as he or she might be on a Valentine’s date, or they might look at you as a late night booty call.

RELATED: How to Get Back Together With Your Ex

Remember, although Valentine’s Day is a big day for couples, the day after, February 15th, is Singles Awareness Day. Either way, love yourself first and love will come your way.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Looking for help with dating? Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been named the Best Dating Coach of the Year in the 2017 iDate Awards and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and facebook. SIGN up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 
Photo credit: Fotolia

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

5 Tips to ROCK Dating Sunday

Dating Sunday - Cyber Dating Expert

What’s all the buzz about Dating Sunday?

With the New Year and love on the minds of many singles, Match and other dating sites have predicted the first Sunday after New Year’s as the busiest time of the year for activity. The EXACT time you should be logging on for love is at 8:55pm/ET, 5:55pm/PT.

Area you ready for the world’s largest digital love fest?

RELATED: Watch Online Dating Expert Julie Spira on ABC News on Dating Sunday

Here are some tips to make the most of Dating Sunday

Dating Sunday Tip #1: Don’t be Shy: I always say, “The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal,” so go ahead and make the first move. Check out who has viewed your profile and reply back the same day. If you don’t respond, someone else will.

Dating Sunday Tip #2. Get Ready to Push. Log onto your mobile dating app profile and check your settings. Make sure your push notifications are set to ON, so you’ll get notified if your digital crush responds to you and then start swiping, big time.

Dating Sunday Tip #3. Upload New Photos and Smile! It’s a new year, so replace your existing profile photos with some new fun shots. The built-in cameras are terrific on mobile phones now, so have a friend help take new photos of you, or hire a professional to look your best. At Cyber-Dating Expert, we have photographers we work with and we’ll make sure your profile is date-worthy when we create your Irresistible Profile.

Dating Sunday Tip #4. Log On Frequently. Your soulmate can’t find you if you’re invisible. Log on twice daily to keep your profile active, especially in the evening during peak traffic hours, and take time to see who has viewed your profile or liked your photos.

Dating Sunday Tip #5: Fill Your Bucket List. Match has a great feature called, the bucket list, where you can list the things you’ve been dreaming about doing. If you like hiking, say you hike on weekends, but would love to hike Mt. Kilamanjaro someday. You might not make it to the top of the mountain, but you will easily fill your date card with those who also enjoy hiking. If you’d love to go on a safari in Africa, add it to your bucket list. You might meet someone who’s been there and can’t wait to show you his or her photos, or better yet, you just might end up there with someone you meet online.

Singles will be looking for love online in record numbers, exactly at 8:55pm/ET on Sunday, January 7th. Remember, 1 in 3 relationships start online, so you’ll be in good company and peak season is happening now, through Valentine’s Day.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt for Dating Advice Delivered to Your InBox

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Let’s Talk About Food – Zoosk Survey Reveals What Singles Should Order on a Date

via GIPHY

Let’s talk about food. It’s Thanksgiving week, which means that Christmas will be here in a digital minute.

With all of the food consumption going on during the holidays and with singles dating up a storm in ‘cuffing season,’ our friends at Zoosk decided to survey 7000 singles to gauge their feelings about the most popular food to eat on a date.

If you’re planning on perusing a menu, or cooking up a storm for your date, here are some surprising facts about food and online dating, to help you decide what to order on date night, or write in your profile to get more messages.

Food Fact 1: Guacamole is the Most Popular in a Profile. 

Food - guacamole

While you might think mentioning chocolate would get the most responses, it actually ranked at number three. While analyzing over 3.7 million dating profiles and more than 364 million first messages, those who mentioned “guacamole” in their profile received 144% more messages. Who knew that mashed avocados would be so sexy? In between the guacamole and chocolate, potatoes ranked at number two, with 101% more messages.

Food Fact 2: Fried Chicken and Yams are the Worst To Mention in a Profile.

via GIPHY

If you’ve got a craving for fried chicken or yams, don’t order it on a date, list it in your profile, or cook it for your date. The Zoosk survey found mentioning yams resulted in a 70% decrease in inbound messages, with fried chicken ranking with a 15% decrease.

Food Fact 3: Foodies are Sexy.

via GIPHY

While saying you’re a “foodie” can sound as cliché as “taking a beach” walk or going from “jeans to black tie,” it’s true that the way to a man’s heart is often through his stomach. With that in mind, if you really love unique restaurants and keep up on the latest food trends, say so. The survey found profiles that include the word “foodie” receive 82% more incoming messages, while those who mention the word “cook” receive 26% more incoming messages.

Food Fact 4: Seafood is the Most Popular Food to Order on a Date.

via GIPHY

Have a dinner date? If you love seafood, you’re at the top of the list. The survey showed that seafood ranked the highest at 19% for online daters for their favorite date-night food, while steak came in as a close second at 18%. Does sushi count as seafood? Well, almost. Sushi ranked at number 5 at 8%.

Food Fact 5: Chocolate Covered Strawberries are Still the Sexiest.

via GIPHY

When I cook a romantic dinner, often I will pick up chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. Next to feeding each other crème brûlée, it’s the most romantic dessert I know of, and the Zoosk survey agreed with 34% ranking it as number one. Wine and cheese came in second place at 28%. There’s no need to get too fancy, as caviar ranked at the bottom of the list at 1%.

Click here for complete details on the Zoosk survey.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years.

FIND OUT how Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE WEEKLY FLIRT Newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

How to ACE Meeting His Adult Kids at the Holidays

 

Meeting Kids at Holidays

Being in a relationship with someone during your first holiday together can be both exciting, as well as filled with emotions and anxiety.

While meeting someone’s parents is a big deal, meeting your significant other’s children is a bigger deal. It’s quite possible they might have not met another woman besides their mother, and may be examining you with a cautious eye.

If your partner’s divorced or a single dad, chances are he’ll have family commitments that may or may not include you.

Before you start stuffing his turkey or filling his Christmas stocking with something fancy or coal, take a BIG deep breath and follow these tips to ensure they will love you just as much as your guy does.

1. Communicate. Talk to your significant other about logistics. Decide where you’ll be meeting his family and how long you’ll be staying there. Chances are his kids may want to see their friends as well over the holidays and meeting you won’t be as high on their priority list as it is on yours.

2. Control the PDA. While you’re used to being lovey-dovey together, there’s no getting around the fact that his kids will imagine you having sex with their dad. While they want to see him happy, they’d rather visualize the two of you fully clothed. Stick to hand holding and a hug and avoid sitting on his lap.

3. Include Laughter. Nothing will lighten up a potentially stressful situation (ie: meeting the family) than a joke and the ability to smile and laugh. Keep the jokes G-rated, regardless of the everyone’s age. Remember to stay positive and leave your baggage behind. If his kids see you’re a happy person, they’ll project to you making their dad happy as well.

4. Don’t Talk About Their Mom. The kids you’re meeting, even if they’re adult children, will always give their loyalty to their mom. Even if they realize the split was for the best, they will have years-and-years of memories of the family celebrating the holidays together.  Avoid the urge to say something about his ex, even if it’s sharing his mumbling sentiments, or a recent memory that gets brought to the table. They already have a mom and you’re not signing up to be an instant step-mother. Show respect for their mother to avoid any uncomfortable feelings.

5. Bring a Gift. If you’re going to their adult children’s home, bring a thoughtful gift, such as a holiday basket or a candle so you don’t show up empty-handed. Don’t do the complete opposite by smothering them with gifts from a stranger. If the kids are school-age, bring each of them a small gift, so they have something to open.

6. Avoid Taking Photos. Let your boyfriend or his kids be in charge of snapping photos when you meet. His family won’t be sure if you’ll be sticking around, so posting them on social media is a netiquette no-no.

7. Give a Hug. There’s something warm about hugging someone hello or goodbye. If you greet them with a handshake and your get together goes well, leave with a quick goodbye hug to show affection to your boyfriend’s kids, so they can welcome you warmly to the family and be happy for their dad.

Let your boyfriend know you’re excited you are to meet his children and that you’re proud that he thinks enough about your relationship to show that you’re officially a couple.

Remember, he’s nervous that it will go well too. Be genuine and warm.

Wishing you much love and joy at the holidays.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and was an early adopter of the Internet. Julie’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles dating coaching programs.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox

 

Photo Credit: Fotolia

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Match Poll Shows Men and Women Agree on Wearing Red on a Date

Red Hot

Date Outfits - Cyber Dating Expert

I’ve always said single women should wear red on a date and on their online dating profile primary photos.

It’s not just because red is my favorite color, but research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology at the University of Rochester also proved that women who wore red on their online dating profiles received more emails from men, went on more dates, and the men actually spent more money on women wearing red.

We know that red is the color of love, passion, and the stop sign. But red is that winning color both in the boardroom and the bedroom.

To add to that theory, our  friends at Match partnered with Finery and polled 2500 singles to determine the best date outfits and the worst date outfits.

BEST DATE OUTFITS AS SELECTED BY MEN

The winner by both was clearly a simple sophisticated and casual mid-length red dress, paired with a classic clutch, heels, and fun earrings. The look was called “Red Hot,” and I have to agree on the choice. So for those who think you should wear a mini-dress, or plunging cleavage, think again. 

The second pick by the guys was called “Sweet and Flirty,” which is a good summer look. Off the shoulder tops are all the rage now, and wearing hot pink is as close to wearing red as you can find.

Sweet and Flirty

Sweet and Flirty date outfit

When it comes to first date outfits, or any date for that matter, where what makes you feel comfortable, flirty, and happy. Dressing in grunge, sweats, or uggs, are good for hanging out at home, but they’re a turn-off for a guy. Dressing for women who will notice the brands will just bleed  your wallet. A guy wants to see you wearing something feminine and form fitting.

WORST DATE OUTFITS AS SELECTED BY MEN

As far as the worst date outfits, the men gave a thumbs down to outfits with minimal effort, ones that were too trendy, mis-matched, Woodstock glam, and striped with a pop of color.

Here were the top 2 losers according to the Match and Finery poll

Minimal Effort

men's worst date outfits

Trend Overload

Men's Worst Dating Outfits

Former E! News Correspondent, blogger and stylist, Alicia Quarles, commented on the fashion survey and said,

“Our poll results don’t exactly prove that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, we actually found that both genders agreed on the best date look, and that men don’t care about the latest trends or high fashion.” Quarles continues to say, “They want to see a woman’s figure—and less women dressing for other women on a first date (i.e., in very fashionable outfits which are on trend, but that don’t necessarily show off everything). Through this, we’ve realized that men just want to determine all lines of attraction on a first date, including physical attraction, so outfits that don’t show a woman’s shape can potentially complicate things.”

So does it matter what you wear on a date? Absolutely. You have that split second to make a first impression and I think the choices selected by men and women are feminine and memorable, both online and IRL.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 23 years. Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter

 

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Dating Advice – 5 Ways to Heal When Your Ex Moves On

Celebrity relationships were all the buzz this week. As the guest dating expert on “Access Hollywood Live,” I joined Natalie Morales and Kit Hoover to talk about dating, love, Jay-Zee big confession about his marriage to Beyonce, and Ben Affleck’s public appearances with his new girlfriend, SNL producer Lindsay Shookus.

RELATED: Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus – Dating Expert Julie Spira Weighs In

With Affleck showing off his new relationship status, the question was asked, “what do you do when your ex moves on?”

Since just about everyone can relate to a heartbreak, we did a deep dive on how Hollywood celebs, or the girl next door should cope post-breakup when your ex finds a new girlfriend.

Here are the 5 tips I shared with Access Hollywood Live

1. Do a Digital Detox

Julie Spira - Access Hollywood

“The first tip is do what I call a digital detox. Even if you’ve said, ‘Okay, we’re going to stay friends when you break up,’ it’s really hard to just move into that friend zone. What happens is you start to become a stalker and you just can’t help yourself. So don’t do that. Block them and unfriend them on Facebook. You can always become friends again once the dust has settled and you both have moved on. Staring at other the other people at you and your sweetheart’s favorite restaurant that you used to go to for your anniversary is just something that is going to sting.”

2. Don’t Compare and Contrast

via GIPHY

“It’s so easy to fall into that trap of comparing yourself to the new girl. You may ask yourself, is she prettier? Does she have nicer clothes? Is she better in bed? Is she smarter? Is she sexier? You get into this trap, and it’s really bad because what happens is, your brain starts to trick you into thinking that comparing yourself to this person is natural. You need to your own individuality. You don’t really know that she’s good at anything other than being the next girl.”

3. Practice Self Love

via GIPHY

“Self-love really is number one. One of these tips that I use with the singles that I coach is if you’re going through a break-up, get dressed up, looked good, stand in front of your mirror and say, ‘You are the the prize,’ and repeat it, ‘You are the prize.’ Eventually, you will believe it. The more that you can love yourself and go out and do good things for yourself, like workout more, maybe lose that weight you want to, take up a yoga class, or take up a new hobby, the more you will become more dateable.”

4. Avoid the Rebound Relationship

via GIPHY

“We see more rebound relationships with men than with women. Women tend to hang out with their girlfriends and, of course, talk about their ex. Just because he might have moved on in a split second doesn’t mean that you need to do the same. I really feel that– having a replacement boyfriend immediately, can often backfire. It might not be a good fit for you, and then you’ve got to get over two break-ups.”

5. Get Out and Live Life!

Julie Spira - Access Hollywood

“I always say that take that covers off your head. Think about the books and magazines that might have been stacking up and start reading them. Maybe go under a palm tree and read a magazine, or if you actually once thought you might want to write a book, start penning that book and writing down your thoughts. Journal about your break-up because the more you read and write it, the more healing it is. Remember, there’s a reason that you broke up and that this person is now your ex. I always say, “Knock him off that pedestal right now.”

RELATED: Jay-Z and Beyonce – Dating Expert Julie Spira Weighs In

Julie Spira is a celebrity dating coach, relationship expert and online dating expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Jay-Z and Beyoncé – Dating Expert Julie Spira Weighs In

Access Hollywood Live - Julie Spira

Jay-Z and Beyoncé. The perfect Hollywood romance, or is it?  We love to watch love in Hollywood unfold, feel betrayed when there’s a bump in the road, and watch with enthusiastic eyes when there appears to be a Hollywood Happily-Ever-After story.

On Access Hollywood Live, this story aired and as a dating and relationship expert, I was asked to join hosts Natalie Morales and Kit Hoover to talk about their relationship.

Jay-Z dropped a bomb in his mini-documentary

Jay-Z made a big confession in a mini-documentary for his new album, 4:44, and said his relationship with Beyoncé wasn’t based on truth. In a video played on Access Hollywood Live, this is what Jay-Z said:

Jay-Z: “I just ran into this place and we built this big beautiful mansion of relationship. I mean, that wasn’t totally built on 100% truth, and then it start cracking, and then things start happening that the public can see. You know what I’m saying? And then we had to go to a point it’d be like, “Okay, tear this down and let’s start from the beginning.” By far, and I’m telling you, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

When asked what I thought about it and if a couple could get over infidelity, I explained, 

“Every relationship takes a lot of work, but when you’re in the public eye and you’re a celebrity, people look for the little cracks in relationship. They look to see if something is wrong. Now, we’ve got a confession – and a very public confession. It’s going to take a while to rebuild, and both parties seem to want to rebuild this relationship. Again, this confession is very public. It will sting, it will sting for a while.”

When asked if Jay-Z’s public admission would make her or women in general, forgive quicker, I replied with:

“Forgiveness is something that we all need to practice. It’s just a question of building trust. Really, we’re building that trust.”

Beyonce and Jay-Z
By the end of the week, Beyoncé posted a photo of her twins for the first time on Instagram. Yes, Hollywood couples go through big public bumps in the road and we hope for nothing but happiness for Jay-Z, Beyoncé, and their family.

Next up, we chatted about Ben Affleck’s new public romance with SNL producer Lindsay Shookus, after the couple appeared together regularly in New York and Los Angeles.

Julie Spira is a celebrity dating coach, relationship expert, and online dating expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus – Dating Expert Julie Spira Weighs In

Ben Affleck Romance - Julie Spira Weighs inHeartthrob Ben Affleck has moved on, so how should Jennifer Garner feel about it?

Access Hollywood Live has been following the story of Ben Affleck’s new romance with SNL producer Lyndsay Shookus, and I was asked to weigh in on their public appearance

ACL hosts Natalie Morales and Kit Hoover asked me if if was too soon for the couple to become official.  After all, Jen and Ben only filed for divorce three months earlier.

Will Ben Affleck’s New Relationship Last?

While I don’t have the crystal ball and everyone deserves to find love and happiness after a divorce or a split, it’s too soon to know whether it will last. The couple appears to be happy and in the honeymoon phase of their relationship.

The reality is, men do typically move on more quickly then women. Men often overlap and go from relationship-to-relationship, often grabbing onto a rebound relationship quickly, while women tend to mourn and take the time to grieve the ending of a romance that didn’t go the distance.

As told to Access Hollywood Live,

“That doesn’t mean the new relationship will last forever. It really doesn’t even mean your ex has upgraded. It just means they’ve found a replacement person, for now.”

So how does someone go on (like Jennifer Garner), when you see your ex in a new relationship? In Jennifer’s case, it’s very public, however these days, everyone’s relationship statuses are public because of social media. The world wide web is filled with social media celebrities who chat IRL with Hollywood celebs in a digital world.

Page Six reports that Garner isn’t too happy with the news of Affleck’s romance. The new couple have been seen all smiles in Los Angeles.

I told Access Hollywood Live,

“Even if your sweetheart is on vacation thousands of miles away, you’re going to see it online or on Facebook, and you’re going to think, ‘My gosh, it’s happening right in my living room.’ It really does sting when you see it so publicly.”

RELATED:  5 Ways to Cope When Your Ex Starts to Date

Julie Spira is a celebrity dating coach, relationship expert, and online dating expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

What to Do When He Cancels Your Date

canceled date

So you’ve met a great guy online and he’s asked you out again because you had off the chart chemistry and the conversation just flowed on your first date.

Congratulations! You’re making it past the one-and-done dating grind, which is common for online daters and singles using mobile dating apps.

What happens next? You give your girlfriends the good news about your hot date and you and your date get into a groove texting each other every day. Good morning and good night texts keep you connected and keep the very important momentum going during the early stages of dating.

Finally, the day comes when you’re going on your second date with your dream guy, so you pick up your favorite date dress from the dry cleaner’s, get your hair blown dry during lunch so you can look and feel remarkable, and everything feels great.

Then the familiar chime of his customized text rings on your phone. You smile, because you’re sure he’s as excited as you are about the date and he’s just sending a text to confirm your date like a true gentleman.

It’s an hour until date time and as you look down at your phone, your heart falls to your knees. The text says,

“Sorry…have to cancel, not feeling well. Can we reschedule?”

Your gut says, hey he knew he was sick all day and I just spent $50 on a blow dry. This is not cool. You’re not happy and you’re not even sure if he’s sick, found someone else, got back together with his ex, or if he double booked dates on calendar by mistake. Let’s face it, texts like these do happen while dating in a digital world.

RELATED: Gone Fishing, or Is It Over?

What’s a girl to do? The first thing not to do is pout. If you’re both dating online, realize you’re dating other people until you decide to be exclusive. Sure, maybe he got sick and was excited to see you and was hoping he’d feel better by 5pm. Maybe the dog ate his paper and you don’t recall him mentioning having a dog. Maybe he had a work project he had to deal with and felt it was easier to say he wasn’t feeling well. It doesn’t matter. You’re date-ready and his text might be the beginning of the end, or at least the end of a well-planned date.

Here’s the thing about when someone cancels a date.

You really don’t know why he canceled and after going on only one date together, you don’t need to be a cyber detective and make yourself crazy.

RELATED: How to Handle the Dreaded Pull Back

Here’s what you don’t do:

  • Don’t check his Instagram or Facebook to see his last check in or post.
  • Don’t text him more than once to see how he’s feeling.
  • Don’t assume he’s double dipping. The guy really could have come down with the flu.
  • Don’t bitch about it on social media. No one wants to see a “Debbie Downer.”
  • Don’t stay home. You’re already date-ready and you might even meet someone more exciting.

Here’s what you should do:

  • Do give him the benefit of the doubt if he does indeed reschedule. Guys don’t do well with being sick and if it’s contagious, he’s doing you a favor by canceling.
  • Do reply to his text and ask if you can bring over chicken soup!
  • Do find a girlfriend and go out anyway or go online and see if some guy you’ve been chatting with is free to meet you for a drink.
  • Do find your favorite happy hour and go flirt up a storm. Remember to smile and say hello to strangers.
  • Do wait for your date to reach out and reschedule and show him that you can go with the flow, this one time.

RELATED: What to Do When He Pulls Back

If you end up going on the rescheduled makeup date, don’t bring up the reasons your previous date was canceled. Act like it’s still a first date and let him get enamored with you and continue to pursue and court you.  Make sure another date is put on the calendar after the end of a fabulous date, so you can look forward to seeing each other again. Keep the momentum going.

If the same guy cancels again, let him go. It’s time for you to find an available man who won’t look at you as an option, and won’t be playing games and tugging at your heartstrings.

Remember to keep your online dating profile active while you’re casually dating, so you can fill  your date card or chat on your mobile dating app. Perhaps you should kick the date canceler to the curb.

You deserve better and you will find someone else in the crowded digital playground called online dating.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top online dating expert and mobile dating expert. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and has been coaching singles on finding love online with her signature Irresistible Profiles for over 20 years.

Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

For dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook

SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

Book Pop Up

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

How to Flirt BIG TIME on St. Patrick’s Day

Cyber Dating ExpertSt. Patrick’s Day is here, and it’s time to get into the spirit of this flirty holiday.

Years ago, I would wear a button that said “Kiss Me, I’m Irish,” even though there was not a speck of Irish blood in me.

To help you flirt, big time and to ramp up your digital flirting skills, here’s the online dating expert’s guide to flirting on St. Patrick’s Day.

 

1. Send a flirty text. Texting the the person you have a crush on to say “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” will brighten their day. Add a four-leaf clover emoji. Even if they aren’t Irish, chances are they’ll reply to you.

2. Wear green. Find the tackiest flashing buttons, goofiest, hats, and make sure to wear something green to celebrate. It’s the easiest way to strike up a conversation with someone on St. Patrick’s Day.

3. Change your dating profile. It’s time to mix it up online. Post a photo wearing something green, ask if someone wants to get lucky in love, post quotes about the luck of the Irish and St. Patrick’s Day on your profiles and on social media. Get bolder and post “Kiss me if you’re Irish.” Start swiping right in the morning on Tinder, Bumble, or other mobile dating apps to find a date by the afternoon.

4. Send a GIF. Open your mobile dating app and send a GIF to your digital crush. These days, apps such as Tinder, Bumble, or even Twitter are using Giphy. Send a fun animated GIF to someone you’ve been chatting with to spice up the convo.

5. Send an animated e-card. We’re big fans of JibJab!, where you send a customized a video or e-card starring you. It will come complete with background music and is guaranteed to give a smile or two.

6. Smile everywhere you go. A smile is contagious and everyone wants to be around someone who appears to be happy. Practice the 5-second stare while smiling at someone you would like to meet. It’s the cue for them to come over and wish you a “Happy St. Patrick’s Day.” Who knows where the conversation will lead?

7. Compliment everyone. You might normally run away from the guy with the tacky green tee shirt, but stop and say hello. Take it one step further and pose in a ‘selfie’ together. He won’t be able to help himself and will put his arm around you for the photo. If the sparks start to fly, it’s your invitation to continue the conversation. Be even bolder and post it, with permission of course, on Facebook or Instagram.

8. Find a parade. Go to a St. Patrick’s Day parade in your city. Everyone loves a parade and it will give you an excuse to start a conversation with those you end up bundled up with.

 

9. Go to the dog park. There’s a reason it’s called puppy love. Put a green bandana on your dog’s collar and take a walk to the local dog park. Your dog will do the flirting for you and it will be a great conversation starter.

10. Make a Shamrock Shake. We have a healthy recipe for a Shamrock Shake that you’ll absolutely love and it can be a fun date idea. If you aren’t into buying the ingredients, and are flying solo, head to Starbucks for a coffee date and order a green tea Frappuccino, or go to a sushi bar and order green tea and green tea ice cream.

 

Wishing you much love, luck, and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top online dating expert and mobile dating expert. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and has been coaching singles on finding love online with her Irresistible Profiles for over 20 years.

Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

For dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

Book Pop Up

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Next Page »