A few weeks ago, I spoke with a single male, who said say he saw Sharon Stone’s profile on Bumble, and of course, he swiped right.

We both realized at that time, that it was indeed the actress Sharon Stone, as she included her home town, real age, and appeared to be a single woman looking for love on the app.

Despite his desire to be matched with the star of the Basic Instinct film star, Stone never swiped right on my friend.

Instead, Bumble got inundated with complaints from other users who believed it was a fake profile. Since most dating apps have a zero-tolerance policy for fake profiles, so Stone’s profile was removed and blocked in error.

Stone posted a photo on Twitter of her notification of being blocked and said,

“I went on the @bumble dating sight [sic] and they closed my account.”

She added,

“Hey @bumble, is being me exclusionary? Don’t shut me out of the hive.”

Sharon Stone did receive an apology from Bumble, and her profile is now back on the app for singles to swipe right on.

Are celebrities on dating apps a new phenomenon? Not at all.

On BBC Radio 5 Live, I was a guest on the Tony and Helen show to talk about celebrities using dating apps. 

Recently Channing Tatum was spotted on dating app Raya, and other celebrities who have used dating apps have included Demi Lovato, Zac Efron, Katy Perry, John Mayer, Lindsay Lohan, Khloe Kardashian, and Hilary Duff. 

Should celebrities be using dating apps? Of course! Today, finding a partner on a dating app ranks as the top way to meet, with a study from Stanford University reporting 39% of heterosexual couples meeting online, and 65% of same-sex relationships began online.

With Dating Sunday, the busiest day for online dating set for December 5, 2020, it’s time to ramp up your profile and log on for love.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of the Internet, has been coaching singles on finding love online and on dating apps for 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

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These days, meeting someone online for drinks doesn’t always equate to going on a romantic date. Add in to the equation that many singles tend to go out in groups, so defining dating has become complicated.

Unless you’ve met someone on a dating app, and you’ve stated that you’re looking for a long-term relationship, meeting someone you like or have a crush on for drinks could mean a several things.

From getting together to hang out casually to, expanding your social network or even to talking shop if you met this person in the course of business, unless they lean in for a kiss, you might be in the friend zone, for now.

With all of these possibilities, it might be baffling to know in advance if you’ll be on the same romantic page as the person you’re meeting for happy hour during the week.

Ramp Up Your Flirting Skills 

To know for sure if you’re on a date, notice if there are visible signs of flirting. This could be in the form of sending regular text messages, possibly with a flirt emoticon, letting you know they’re single, and watching their body language to see if they smile when they see you.

Since first dates need to be in a low-pressure environment, I always advise going on a date to expand your social network and also to see if there’s any chemistry. There’s nothing worse than meeting someone you’ve got a crush on, only to find out they have a live-in partner they never mentioned before.

If you’re female, and you’re hoping your upcoming get together will be a romantic evening, make sure you dress up for the occasion. That means to change your outfit from work-mode to something a little flirtier such as a little black dress with a jacket and boots, add a little lipstick, and you’re ready to go.

Be Interested in Your Date

Remember to listen more than talk to find out more about the person you’re meeting for drinks.

Watch for their body language when you arrive. Are you greeted with a hug and a smile, or a handshake with your chair pulled out for you.

Try to limit your alcoholic intake to one drink, and at the end of the date, see if they’d like to get together again. If the person you’re meeting picks up the tab, that’s code for being on an official date, and a great sign if you feel the same.

If they suggest splitting the bill, know that you’re in the friend zone, and be okay with it. You never know if this person has a friend they could introduce you to, so be an exciting date, regardless of the label.

Follow Up When You’re Still Aglow

If you had a great time on your date, send a text the same evening to thank your date for getting together, and to let them know you had a great time and look forward to seeing them again.

Don’t play the waiting game, because the squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. As an early adopter of the Internet, Julie’s been coaching singles on finding love online for 25 years. 

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

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Online dating is the easiest way to fill your date card, with almost 40% of couples who say they’ve met online.

With the opportunity to meet so many new people, when you don’t have friends in common, how can you make sure that you’ll be dating safely?

On People, I weighed in with several tips on dating safety. Here’s a short excerpt. To read the full article, click here. 

How do you know a potential date is real? 

“I think one of the first red flags is about the photo,” Spira says. “If there are no photos, it’s a red flag. If there is only one photo, and they look like a hot model, it’s a red flag.”

In the “predate phase,” Spira tells her clients to use Facebook and Instagram accounts to find mutual friends.

If there are friends and followers in common, “You can then ask your friend if they really know this person to get a digital thumbs up or down before actually accepting a date,” Spira says.

What If They Won’t Meet IRL?

“The point of dating online is actually meeting in person,” Spira says. “It’s not to have a digital pen pal. So, if somebody is canceling or postponing and not making plans to meet IRL, it’s a real problem.”

Where Should You Meet For a First Date?

When it comes to scheduling a first date, you should always meet in a public place. Let a friend know who you’re meeting, and exactly when and where. If you feel uncomfortable for any reason, get up and leave.

There’s nothing more important than being safe on a date, and all of us in the dating industry take safety seriously. If you feel unsafe for any reason, it’s easy to report the person’s profile to the dating app.

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we put safety first. You can read our other safety articles here:

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. Julie’s been coaching singles on finding love online for 25 years. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice, and Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

It doesn’t have to be Halloween for the ghosts to come out on dating apps.

Ghosting, which started as the unpleasant phenomenon on how badly behaved singles broke up without warning, has turned into an epidemic. It’s now the norm, and many make the unilateral decision on how they end a relationship by leaving the “ghostee” without closure.

Regardless of how much chemistry you had while texting, chatting, or even dating IRL, ghosting has hit home for most singles.

A survey from Dating.com showed that 75% of single daters admitted to ghosting someone they were casually dating, with almost everyone (92%) saying they’ve been ghosted. Ouch.

Our friends at PlentyofFish reported a similar statistic, with 80% of Millennials who said they were on the receiving end of being ghosted.

It’s one of the most popular questions asked in our Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert column.

RELATED: GHOSTING: THE CULTURAL PHENOMENON IN DATING 

Why Do People Ghost? 

According to Dating.com, more than half of singles (63%) admitted they ghosted someone they were dating because they just lost interest in them, while the majority (88%) felt it was easier to ghost someone and disappear than deal with a potentially angry confrontation.

There’s no doubt that ghosting someone is the coward’s way out of a relationship that was about to get to the next step or even a second date.

The problem is, if you’ve met online, chances are you could get matched again, or since you still have their digits, you might reach out to try and get closure.

Texting and calling the ghoster is a huge mistake because if the person wanted to let you know they’ve met someone else, or didn’t see the relationship moving forward, they’d have the guts and courage to call it quits and have the conversation to say it’s over.

RELATED: CONFUSED, IS HE GHOSTING?

How Do you Break Up With Someone Without Ghosting?

If you’ve met on a dating app, unless the person fell in love with someone else they were dating at the same time, your digital paths could easily cross again. For this reason, I strongly recommend pulling your big boy pants up or grab your favorite date dress and schedule a call or date to meet up.

If you’ve been pulling away and texting less, chances are the person you’ve been dating will know that something’s up and could expect a breakup.

My best dating advice in this scenario is as follows:

1. Schedule a date to meet in person if possible, or a time to talk on the phone. 
2. Let the person you’ve been sending texts to every morning and night know you’ve enjoyed getting to know them, and especially enjoyed the picnic you had on the beach, or another memorable date. Then pause.
3. Let them know you’re looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with if finding a serious relationship is your goal. OR
4. Let them know you’re only interested in a casual relationship and want to date multiple people, if that’s what you desire.

RELATED: HOW TO  TELL YOU’RE DATE YOU’RE NOT INTERESTED WITHOUT GHOSTING

If you’re the one who’s been ghosted, I shared some tips with Elite Daily, including “Remember that the person you’re chatting with is most likely messaging with a dozen or more others, in between swiping to match with another bunch of fresh faces to add the queue.” In other words, patience sometimes is a virtue, and until you define the relationship, know that you might be in rotation, until you’re official and take down your profiles.

So swipe left the next time you see that ghosting fool, because know within your heart that you’re too good to be “Caspered.”

Wishing you much love and joy on Halloween, wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. Julie’s been coaching singles on finding love online for 25 years. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice, and Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

As part of online safety week, Online Dating Expert Julie Spira sat down with Vanessa Borge on Good Day LA to teach singles how to date safely online.

With over 50 million singles using mobile dating apps and looking for love online, a question that is always asked is, “How safe is online dating?”

When the FBI reports 18,000 plus cases of problems, should you be concerned?

As a guest on Good Day LA, I explained that every issue and report is a concern, and all of us in the dating industry take dating safety seriously.

RELATED: How to Spot a Fake Dating Profile

In fact, a new research study from Stanford and the University of New Mexico showed that almost 40% of couples met online, which is double the amount of couples who met through friends at 20%, and significantly higher than couples who met in a bar, at 6%.

So what are the best safety tips?

Don’t leave the dating app quickly to communicate, as it’s safer and easier to track conversations.

Use my Digital Thumbs Up or Down Rule – Check your date’s social media profiles to see if you have friends in common.

You’re only as good as your worst photo. Red flags include a profile without a photo, or one where the photos look too good to be true, like a model or someone standing in front of a fancy car.

Don’t give personal information about where you work and live in case the date goes south.

Report any suspicious profiles to the dating apps.

Open your heart, but don’t open your wallet.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, and has been coaching singles on finding love online for 25 years.

For more information on Julie’s Irresistible Profiles, click here.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Social Media

Say goodbye to hookups and hello to meaningful relationships.

Every year, Match conducts an in-depth study of singles on their views on dating, love, sex, and more.

In the 9th annual Singles in America study, Match revealed four main types of modern relationships singles are seeking. On the top of the list is a partner to do things with (69%), followed by a long-term companion (60%), romantic love (57%) and a sex partner ranking at the bottom of the list at 43%. In fact, only 9% of the singles surveyed want to date casually.

Pay Attention to the Profile

While it wasn’t that long ago that singles were swiping right on just about every profile to play the numbers game, the study shows that singles are now swiping left on casual dating, meaning they’re taking time actually to review a profile before deciding to match. Isn’t that refreshing not to be judged solely based on your thumbnail photo?  I think so.

When it comes to romantic love, 57% of singles in the survey desire it very much, but just aren’t putting in the effort. Yes, you do need an Irresistible dating profile and need to move the conversation from online to meeting IRL.

Match enlisted the help of Rebel Wilson to talk about their latest survey.

Dating Deal-Breakers

Since singles typically make lists to attract their perfect match, it makes sense that they have a list of deal-breakers in tow to sift out those who aren’t a fit. In this study, the top deal-breakers include:

• Poor hygiene
• Disheveled or unclean appearance
• Laziness
• Someone without a sense of humor
• An emotional, needy person

So grab a dose of confidence, get a blow dry or take time to shave, and find something witty to talk about that doesn’t include sharing a list of your bad dates, and you’ll be on track to finding a great relationship.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 25 years.

For dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira and SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Photo credit: Fotolia

Guess what?

Research shows the majority of singles aren’t relying on friends and family to fix them up anymore.

Online Dating is the Most Popular Way to Meet

A new study shows a rapid increase of couples meeting online, to the tune of double the amount than meeting through friends.

Researchers, Michael Rosenfeld and Sonia Hausen from Stanford University and Reuben J. Thomas, of the University of New Mexico, have published their findings in a research note called, Disintermediating your friends. 

What they found is that for the very first time in the United States, is that online dating is the most popular way for heterosexual couples to meet.

The intersection of the two occurred in 2009. In the latest study released on July 15, 2019, it showed that close to 40% of singles met online in 2017, as compared to 20% who met through friends. Additionally, 11% of the couples surveyed met through co-workers, with 7% through family members.

On BBC Radio 5 Live, I spoke with presenter Sarah Brett, about this research study and the upward trend of digital dating

The simple question of, ‘How did you meet?’ was asked of 3,510 couples, with close to 40% saying they met online.

The reason for this considerable spike is everyone is attached to their mobile phones, and dating apps are so easy to use these days. Using dating apps cuts out the extra time of having a middle person like mom, dad, or your BFF wait for a reply from a friend-of-a-friend to introduce you to.

It puts fate into your own hands as you swipe left and right in search of finding your perfect match.

To those naysayers who still believe dating is the same as in 1995, where only 5% of couples met online, it’s time to grab your mobile phone and create the most irresistible profile you can. I have a feeling I can help you in your quest.

Your next relationship is just a swipe away.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. As an early adopter of the Internet, she’s been coaching singles on finding love online for 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira for Dating Advice

SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter

In an interview with Rachel of CGTN America, Cyber-Dating Expert’s founder Julie Spira speaks with Rachelle Akuffo about the mobile dating industry in the United States.

With apps including Match, Tinder, OkCupid, and Plenty of Fish in the Match Group, to Bumble, and comparing mobile app usage with social networks, we took a look at the digital landscape for singles looking for love.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the Founder and CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, a dating coaching company, and has been helping singles find love on the Internet for over two decades with her Irresistible Coaching programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Celebrating Valentine’s Day can be confusing depending on if you’re newly dating, or have a February 14th tradition with your steady squeeze.

While ignoring Valentine’s Day will put you in the dog house if you’re in a relationship, the financial and emotional pressure of ignoring the most romantic day of the year doesn’t need to cause so much stress that you’d rather ‘Netflix and Chill’ at home all by yourself.

In fact, a survey from the National Retail Federations shows that about $143.56 was spent on Valentine’s Day last year per person, and $2 billion was spent on flowers alone! Men also tend to spend twice as much as women do on Valentine’s Day, with $4.7 billion being spent on jewelry!

So what do you get that new crush who asked you to be his or her Valentine?

New Relationship Gifts

I’m a believer of keeping it simple when it comes to going on a date with someone you’ve just met. What do you do if it’s just your second or third date, or if you’ve been dating for about one month?

Start the day by sending a Happy Valentine’s Day text or cute meme from Giphy in a text message to show you’re thinking of them.

via GIPHY

When it comes to gift giving, you can never go wrong with bringing chocolate, flowers, coupon books, and gift cards.

To stand out and not over-do it, remember to pick up a card, and pen a hand written message, grab a bunch of red tulips to show you’re not smothering your date, and stay away from jewelry and lingerie.

If you’ve waited until the last minute, most grocery stores have terrific floral departments, where you can easily pick up a single rose and a box of candy

Dating for 3 – 6 Months

Couples who have already defined the relationship, but aren’t at the stage of committing for the long haul need to have a conversation with their partner on what Valentine’s Day means to them, and schedule the day/evening accordingly.

I spoke with a single guy who started to complain to his dates about how much he hates Valentine’s Day, and thinks gift giving and romantic gestures should be celebrated on birthdays and Christmas only. I was a bit stunned, and asked him if he liked football. He said he loved watching football. I then asked him if he watched the Super Bowl, and he said he wouldn’t miss it for anything and went to a great annual Super Bowl party.

RELATED: Why Valentine’s Day for Women is Like the Super Bowl for Men

I then brought up my analogy of how Valentine’s Day for women is like the Super Bowl for men. It’s THAT important. He understood, but again said it was a Hallmark holiday and not for him. I asked him if he fell in love with someone, would he celebrate Valentine’s with his partner?” He said no. It wasn’t for him.

I get it. Valentine’s Day can be expensive, but if in the first few months with someone you’re interested in isn’t being honored, you just might not make it to the summer.

At this point in the relationship, sending flowers to women in advance to be delivered before Valentine’s Day is a great idea.

If you have dinner plans, bring a gift or a token of your relationship, such as a framed photo of the two of you from a recent getaway, or a sterling silver key chain, which shows your date that they have the key to your heart.

If you want to give a gift with an experience, give him a gift card for a massage, a shave, or tickets to see his favorite sporting team when they’re in town.

For the woman in your life, add in a gift card for a facial, mani-pedi, or a ten-pack of movie tickets, so you can continue to plan movie dates together

Long Distance Relationships

Being away from your SO on Valentine’s Day can make even the most romantic couples feel lonely. Use technology as your best friend, and set up a Facetime or Skype date, where both of you are dressed up as if you were together IRL, have a glass of bubbly, and order dinner from your date’s favorite restaurant to nibble on during your video date.

It’s a great idea to send a card and care package in advance if you’re not living in the same city, state, or country. One year, my long-distance boyfriend sent me gift cards to Sephora to get a makeover , The Dry Bar for a blowout, before he arrived in town with his dozen hand selected long-stemmed roses. It was thoughtful and showed that he planned in advance, and I enjoyed getting ready for our romantic date.

Dating for 6 – 12 Months

By now, you probably have a toothbrush or even a key at each other’s place. If you haven’t exchanged keys, putting yours in a card on Valentine’s Day shows a level of commitment to the relationship.

At this point, depending on your budget, you could order a sterling engraved money clip or cuff links for him, and a sterling heart for her. It shows the sentiment, and ramps it up on the most romantic day of the year.

Since Valentine’s Day is on a Thursday this year, and right before the long President’s holiday weekend, you can plan a trip away, or celebrate Valentine’s all weekend long, when the restaurants aren’t as booked up.

The folks at Pinhole Press came up with this fun Infographic, if you’re stumped on how to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of the Internet, has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

Valentine’s Day is around the corner, and it’s both an exciting time for couples and romantics, but can also be a stressful time for singles and those who are newly dating, and haven’t defined their relationship status.

On Spectrum News 1, I joined Afternoon Beat host Kelvin Washington to talk about some ways to speed up your search, and find a Valentine’s date online.

1. Update Your Profile – Mention You Like Valentine’s Day

If you’re a hopeful romantic and love Valentine’s Day, it’s not time to put your head under the covers.

If you log on and update your profile, be bold and say, “I’m an incurable romantic, and love Valentine’s Day. It sends a message that you’d be open to meeting someone on or before Valentine’s Day.

I also recommended wearing something red for the season. After all, red is the color of love, and research backs up that profiles where women wear red do get more views.

2. Check Who Has Viewed Your Profile

If you’d like to send a message that will have a greater chance of getting a reply, on the Match app, you can see who has viewed your profile. If they’ve checked you out, but didn’t have time to write to you, it’s a good chance that your digital nudge just might turn into a date.

3. Be Online During Rush Hour

Depending on where you live, chances are being stuck in traffic during morning or afternoon drive is pretty unpleasant.

For online dating and mobile dating apps, being logged on during “Rush Hour,” is a traffic jam you’ll want to be in leading up to Valentine’s Day.

So when is Rush Hour, and how can you stand out even more?

Rush hour is the busiest on Sunday evenings, and according to OkCupid, their Rush Hour starts as early as 2pm on Sundays. I’ve found Monday nights, or just about any night when you’re home from work to find the most active users.

If you want to stand out more during Rush Hour, for less than the price of a cup of coffee, you can sign up for OkCupid’s Boost, which will give you 30 minutes of time to appear more frequently for $1.99, Match’s Boost, where you’ll be seen by three times more for $2.99 for a one-hour period, Tinder’s Boost, where you can “skip the line” and show up as a top profile for 30 minutes for $3.99, and Bumble’s new Spotlight feature, which costs two coins, or about $3.00.

4. Log On More Frequently

After you’ve tweaked your profile, viewed your matches and those who have already viewed your profile, sent out a few messages, it’s time to keep your app open for a while.

The reason I suggest not logging out, is because profiles with the most activity tend to be favored by the mysterious and magical dating algorithms, and you simply will show up more often to potential dates.

5. Take Your Relationship From Online to Offline

Chatting and texting can be fun, but it’s time to meet IRL (in real life), so suggest meeting for coffee, swapping digits and having a conversation.

It’s time to avoid becoming just a digital pen pal to someone you’ll never meet.

Life is too short to have an empty date card, when there are so many easy ways to find a quality date online.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam on Valentine’s Day.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Instagram