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Do you have to drink while on a date?

While singles aspire to have a unique and memorable first date (after all, he or she could be ‘the one’), more often than not, someone you will meet on an online dating site or mobile dating app will ask you to get together for the default date of “drinks” or “coffee.”

While meeting someone at a happy hour, could advance to dinner, what do you do if you don’t drink alcohol? Should you fake it, or order a “mocktail?”

In polling over 8,000 online daters and analyzing over 100,000 messages, dating app Zoosk asked these questions and more for this Drinking Study.

Some of their findings show that singles are drinking big time on dates, with the majority, 72% consuming alcohol.

Since 1/3 of singles are non-drinkers, and it can help relax you if you’re nervous about a date, how does dating sans alcohol affect their dating lives?

No one should feel pressured at all on a first, date, but the Zoosk Drinking Study found that 10% of singles actually pretended to sip an alcoholic drink while on a date.

RELATED: 10 Fun Summer 1st-Date Ideas That Are More Fun Than Just Grabbing a Drink

How do singles really feel about drinking on a date?

• A majority of singles (92%) order their first drink before their date arrives.
• A majority of singles (73%) believe meeting for drinks makes a good first date.
• Over half of singles (55%) think two (2) drinks should be the maximum on a date.
• Mentioning “sparkling wine” in your online dating profile or message increases  your response rate by 29%.

All of this pressure to drink to feel more relaxed on date isn’t that necessary.

The study found that almost a third of non-drinkers find it more difficult to date when they didn’t drink, but it’s not all doom-and-gloom.

A majority of drinking singles (86%) say they’d date a non-drinker, and non-drinkers (81%) are open to dating those who drink alcohol.

RELATED: Summer Dating Profile Tips You Can Make Instantly

What’s the solution?

If you feel the pressure to order a beverage, and you’re not interested in getting a buzz, try ordering kombucha, ginger ale, tonic and water, cranberry and soda, iced-tea, or an espresso.

Or, in the alternative, suggest a fun outing or daytime date that doesn’t include alcohol.

We’ve got plenty to choose from here.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

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A new politics study from Pew Research Center confirms the pain that many of you have been feeling both online and offline; friendships and romance are feeling stressed when the subject of Donald Trump comes up, and inevitably it will.

The Pew poll of over 2,500 adults conducted from June 27 – July 9, 2017, and released on July 20, 2018, shows that a majority (52%) of American’s are paying attention to politics since Donald Trump was elected president, with almost 60% of women driving the political conversations.

Almost half of the Democrats in the study admit that supporting Donald Trump is putting a strain on relationships, and members of both parties believe that someone supporting the other party didn’t share the same values and goals as they did. Most of us know someone who has lost a friend or romantic partner due to differing politics, right?

I believe this strong divisiveness is a reality that isn’t going to go away soon.

While researching my upcoming book, Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships, I have seen similar findings, with women being less willing to date across party lines than men. I’ve also witnessed the testing of friendships, and people who quickly unfriended and blocked people they used to be close with on social media.

As someone who’s in the business of forging love relationships, I believe in taking an inclusive approach, and for people to be open-minded about listening to another point of view, but I’m even more aware that the struggle is real, and the stress that Pew has confirmed is as intense as the reality show that our country is living in.

RELATED: Love and Loss in the Age of Trump

I’ve gone on record as saying politics ranks higher on the dating totem pole than dating a smoker who could quit.  In addition, we’ve added the subject “politics” to all of our dating coaching consultations, and have found the majority of liberals said they wouldn’t date a Trump supporter, with the majority of conservatives said they’d prefer not to talk about politics.

If you’re single and living in D.C., there will be slim pickings when it comes to dating. Politico reports that if you work for the Trump administration, it’s hard to find a date,  but this isn’t happening just in D.C. I see it everywhere.

These days, on Facebook, even a political cartoon can result in a visceral reaction from your friends.

When I posted the meme of Bob and Sally on Facebook, I was trying to get a temperature reading from my friends. The meme went viral, and the comments poured in, with the majority saying “No, we can’t be friends with a Trump supporter.” Many took it a step further and said, “We can’t even be friends with someone who is friends with a Trump supporter.”

I have strong views and opinions where it comes to our current administration but have an even stronger desire to make sure love prevails past Trump’s current or potential future term.

RELATED: SURVEY: Singles Would Rather Have Bad Sex Than Date a Trump Supporter

If Politics is Important to You, Wear it Proudly

Yes, Donald Trump has polarized our country, our families, and our friends. Wearing a political baseball cap including “#NOTMYPRESIDENT” or on the opposite side, a “MAGA” hat, are now both front and center on dating profiles.

OkCupid profiles are proudly filled with the #RighttoLove badge, and singles now instruct potential partners to “swipe left if you voted right.”

This presidency has brought the conversation about values and attitudes to the table, and I believe that’s a good thing. Finding someone like-minded about the issues that are the most important to you will help you find a partner to join you on this turbulent journey in Trump’s America.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and is the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s the author of the upcoming book, Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships and has been coaching singles for almost 25 years on finding love online.

Contact Julie

FOLLOW @JulieSpira

I have to confess. I embrace a healthy diet, eat a banana every morning for the potassium, an avocado a day for the good fat, eat wild salmon for the omega fats, and nibble on raw almonds as a snack.

I haven’t eaten red meat in decades, but when it comes to chocolate, all bets are off.

I try to justify my desire for chocolate by eating only dark chocolate, and chocolate covered pomegranates, thinking it’s healthier. In reality, they’re filled with sugar and caffeine, and I’ve always wondered, is chocolate truly an aphrodisiac, or is it a myth?

In honor of World Chocolate Day, held annually on July 5th, Elite Singles came up with some fun facts about this sugar-filled day, as it relates to romance, which might surprise you.

Fun Fact 1. The scent of chocolate can make you more likely to buy a romance novel

Since many of you have bookshelves filled with romance novels or self-help relationship books, it’s not a random decision that bookstores with cafes have chocolate strategically placed near the romance sections.

According to Elite Singles,

“In 2013, Belgian researchers conducted an experiment where they pumped chocolate smells around a local bookstore and then analyzed shopper’s behavior. When the store smelled of chocolate, sales of romance novels and cookbooks rose 40% higher than when the store didn’t have the scent.”

Fun Fact 2. Chocolate can get you more worked up than passionate kissing

In 2007, researchers found that eating chocolate makes your heart beat faster than the already fast heartbeat you experience while kissing. The research took it further and found if you let the chocolate melt in their mouth, it’s more of an intense and longer lasting feeling than just when kissing.

No wonder, ordering a flour-less chocolate cake or a chocolate-covered strawberry seems romantic at the end of a date.

via GIPHY

Fun Fact 3. You won’t feel the aphrodisiac effects unless you eat 25lbs of chocolate at once

Famous philanderer Giacomo Casanova, the kind of guy you don’t want to date, loved sipping hot chocolate, even more than champagne. Could a chocolate martini be a better drink to order than a glass of prosecco?

Casanova called chocolate the “elixir of love” and used it to woo women. But the reality is, you’d have to eat an enormous amount of sugar-filled chocolate for it to be noticeable, and we know that’s not healthy.

Fun Fact 4. Chocolate can make singles fantasize about love

A study in 2014 on the effects of snack foods and romantic thoughts of singles found that those who eat Oreos were more likely to think about a dreamy potential romantic scenario, as compared to those who ate salty chips.

Fun Fact 5. Chocolate and water taste better when you’re falling in love

According to Elite Singles,

“A set of 2013 studies compared the tastes of a neutral group with groups of participants induced to feel love, jealousy, and happiness. Each group was asked to rank the sweetness of certain foods, like chocolate and even water. The neutral, jealous, and happy groups ranked the foods similarly – but the love group’s rankings were consistently higher on the sweet scale.^“

So if you’re wondering if chocolate is an aphrodisiac and will help your dating or love life, my best advice is to nibble it in moderation and take steps to manifest the perfect relationship for you.

If you need help to fill your date card, or are looking for a loving relationship, contact Online Dating Expert Julie Spira at info@cyberdatingexpert.com

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter

You don’t need to be watching a romantic-comedy to know that a first kiss can be the beginning of a beautiful romance, or not.

On Friday, July 6th, it will be International Kissing Day, so if you didn’t kiss that hottie during the fireworks display on Fourth of July, here are some tips from our friends at Coffee Meets Bagel to get it right.

This week will be one of the busiest times of the summer, with Coffee Meets Bagel telling me they saw a 33% jump in sign-ups on July 3rd and 21% on July 4th last year.

Match has declared Sunday, July 8th as the busiest day of the summer for activity on their online dating site.

RELATED: Summer Profile Dating Tips You Can Make Instantly

From French kissing, to how many dates should you go on before that first passionate kiss, here are some kissing turn-ons and turn-offs.

• 42% of women and 40% of men say the best time to lean in for the kiss is near the end of the date.
• 49% of women want the kiss to be light and gentle with lips closed, followed closely with 47% pf want a deep kiss with no tongue.
• 47% of men find bad breath a turn-off and 31% of women gave a thumbs down to too much tongue or saliva
• 64% of women and 58% of men agreed that the magic length of the first kiss should be 2-5 seconds. Anything longer would be a turn-off and anything shorter doesn’t measure up.

RELATED: The Benefits of Dating While on Vacation

If you’re nervous about leaning in for the first kiss, don’t be. The Coffee Meets Bagel survey found that only 2% of both men and women found just a peck with lips barely touching a turn-on.

One tip that I always recommend at the end of a date, is to ask the person permission for a kiss. Just simply saying, “May I kiss you goodnight?” will show you respect your date and you’ll get the cue if it’s safe to lean in for that smooch. 

So grab your lip gloss, bring some breath mints, and get ready for a week of kissing.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may kiss, swipe, or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

If your date card is empty, try casting a wider net and schedule some summertime dates, out-of-town.

The summer heat is rolling, school’s out, the airports are crowded, and it’s time to start thinking about summer love and your very own fireworks display.

The Fourth of July holiday is around the corner, National Kissing Day, just two days later on July 6th, and Match predicts the busiest day for dating this summer will be on Saturday, July 8th.

With that in mind, it’s also a busy time for online dating, with new singles joining dating sites to find a summer romance, or maybe even more.

As a dating coach, I always recommend that singles expand their search by changing their zip codes. If you knew the person of your dreams was in another city, would you be willing to hop on a plane to meet him or her?

RELATED: Pucker Up. It’s National Kissing Day

To make it easier to date while in vacation mode, I have two approaches that work well.

1. Act like your in vacation mode.

Have you ever noticed how friendly people are while they’re on vacation? They let their guards down and don’t size each other up based on their resumes and work history like they do at home. As a result, it’s easier to strike up a conversation with someone who’s sitting next to you on a plane, or poolside as you sip on a frozen libation. If your summer doesn’t include a fantastic trip to the Greek Islands, why not act as if you’re there? Try smiling more often, engaging with someone who’s not your usual type, and even the playing field while leaving work behind.

2. Go on a Date-Cation. 

This means getting prepared in advance, by joining or being very active on an online dating site before you leave, using mobile dating apps when you’re there, changing your profiles to indicate that you’ll be on vacation and listing the city, and going on dates every day while you’re gone. 

While the thought of becoming a serial dater while on vacation might not sound appealing, it’s effective, and you’ll have an opportunity to be the out-of-town girl or guy everyone wants to meet.

While I recommend going into the vacation zone for singles, whether they’re home or venturing out to another city, don’t just take my word for it.

RELATED: Summer Dating Profile Tips You Can Make Instantly

Online dating site Plenty of Fish polled over 1500 singles in the U.S. aged 18-60 to find out how they felt about dating while on vacation. It turns out the majority (over 70 percent) were open to the opportunity to go on a date while out of town.

While I’m not an advocate of the ‘Mile High Club,” 52 percent of singles in the POF survey had experienced having a great conversation with someone on the plane, and 20% actually hooked up on a plane or a train.

If you find yourself seated next to someone attractive and exciting, be bold and take it a step further.

Ask the person who you shared your life story with at 15,000 miles in the sky if they’d like to meet for a drink or go to a museum while you’re in town. 

Some other fun facts from the survey include:

• 49 percent of singles had gone on a date while on vacation. 
• 40 percent of singles had a vacation fling.
• 22 percent of singles fell in love while on vacation.
• 46 percent used a dating app to scope out singles in another city before traveling there. 
• 16 percent of singles ended up in a long-term relationship with someone they met while on vacation.

All of these possibilities are just a click, swipe, or smile away.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

At a swanky West Hollywood rooftop party, the Match team came to celebrate their new dating-game app, Crown, starting in the Los Angeles market.

How Crown works is, instead of swiping on one potential date at a time as you would on Tinder or Bumble, users are presented with 16 matches every day at noon, with two profiles on the screen at one time. Once you “crown” or select your favorite of the two, you continue in pairs until the first round is over.

The players or potential dates then move into the second round of eight, where once again you can view and select one of the two until you eventually reach the final four, where you officially have the opportunity to chat with those from the four profiles you’ve crowned.

Does it sound like March Madness? Well, it’s similar, but the end-game is to find one to four matches to strike up a chat with and hopefully meet IRL.

RELATED: Summer Dating Profile Tips You Can Make Instantly

I asked Match Group’s VP, Andy Chen, why he thinks gamification is a great way to find a date.

“The attraction to games is that they are naturally fun, there is excitement in terms of anticipation and the chance to win that creates a sense of payoff,” says Chen. “The experience with Crown feels more fun to our users than other dating apps on the market because it mimics these same elements.”

Chen flew to Los Angeles from the Match HQ with other executives, as well as the app’s creator, Patricia Parker from the Match products and events teams.

Parker’s idea was the winner from about 60-100 apps that were presented internally at the company’s internal “ideathon.”

“I met my husband on Match, so initially I was trying to think of dating things that were overwhelming for me,” says Parker.

Her inspiration? “Initially it just started off with, what can we do to get a limited amount of people, and this idea of choosing one person over the other, which is such a natural way of how you choose anything from the grocery store to matches on any other dating app,” says Parker. “The gamification part came later.”

RELATED: Cyber Love Story – Melissa and Ross

Chen tells me that people are craving a more focused and curated online dating experience. “We also find that choosing between two users is an easier and more fun approach than swiping through endless profiles,” says Chen. 

If you’re tired of swiping right and left on mobile dating apps, I believe this new dating game app launched by Match may help soothe the brain and fill up your date cards with quality matches.

Dr. Helen Fisher, Match Group’s Chief Scientific Advisor explains, “Crown solves the single biggest problem in online dating today: ‘cognitive overload.’”

According to Dr. Fisher, “the human brain is simply not built to choose between hundreds of potential suitors—as all the current dating apps require singles to do.”

Crown wants singles to have a more focused experience; long enough for them to discover new people but short enough to avoid the fatigue that singles struggle with, and to leave just enough anticipation for the next day’s batch of matches.

If you’re Gen Z or Millennial in the Los Angeles area, you can download the Crown app on iOs HERE.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Summer starts this week, and at Cyber-Dating Expert HQ, we always see an uptick in new clients looking for love online.

Don’t just take our word for it, as our friends at Match have predicted that Sunday, July 8th will be 20% busier than Valentine’s Day based on 20+ years of data.

If you don’t experience fireworks with someone special on 4th of July, you’ll have an opportunity to find summer love BIG TIME a few days later, and we’re here to help you look your best.

RELATED: 5 HOT TIPS FOR SUMMER LOVE

What should you do to get ready for summer fun?

1. Update your existing profile now to get ready with new photos wearing summer apparel.
2. Include some of your favorite summer activities, such as beach barbecues, fly fishing, or hiking.
3. Change your profile to include favorite date ideas, such as going to an outdoor concert, an amusement park, or riding a tandem bicycle.
4. If you have a summer vacation booked, include how excited you are to travel to that destination.
5. Include your favorite flavor of ice cream or frozen yogurt, as it’s a hint of where you should go on a date that extends into dessert.

RELATED: 10 ABSOLUTELY FUN SUMMER DATE IDEAS

There’s something magical about sunshine, beach or lake walks, and finding a summer romance that will last through all of the seasons.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

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On Father’s Day, we honor those who hold the title of dad, pops, papa, father, grandpa, uncle, and even any male siblings and friends who are dads.

Our friends at dating site Zoosk conducted a survey of single fathers again and found that the majority of single women interested in dating a single dad has increased to 92%! That’s a 9% rise from their 2016 survey, and Zoosk actually says, “dating a single dad is “so hot” right now.”

The Zoosk study looked at over 3,000 single women and analyzed over 300,000 messages determine that single dads are really a hot ticket for women looking for love online.

Other fun Father’s Day facts

• Dad bods are in. Six-packs are out.
  • 86% of women are totally okay with the “dad bod.”
  • 24% finding a “dad bod” them attractive.
  • If you include the term “dad bod” in a message, daters are 41% more likely to respond.

• Dad jokes are in.
  • More than half (55%) of women think that dad jokes are a great way to break the ice.
  • 66% of Millennial women find dad joke-type pick up lines even funnier.

• Single dads are no longer the center of the universe.
  • 15% of women say single dads are more caring.
  •  9% believe single dads are more patient.
  • 41% believe single dads are more responsible.
  • 9% think single dads are more thoughtful.

• Single women like tradition.
  • 44% of female online daters like getting their dad’s approval of their date.
  • 61% of women like it when their boyfriend asks their dad for their hand in marriage.

With close to 100% of women interested in dating a single dad, we honor and encourage all of the single dads to enrich their lives by adding love to the mix.

Wishing all of the dads a very Happy Father’s Day, wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

One of our favorite online dating sites, OkCupid has partnered with the ACLU for a #RighttoLove Badge to show their support of ACLU, inclusion in honor of Pride month.

As reported on the OkCupid blog, 90% 0f OkCupid users who answered the YES to the question,”Do you support the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU)?” will receive the badge.

Also, OkCupid will be donating $1 for each user who adds the badge to their profile, up to $50,000.

Ariel Charytan, CEO of OkCupid says on their blog, “Nothing is more attractive than people who believe in every individual’s #RightToLove who they want to love.”

The site reports a 64% Increase in Political Terms on Dater’s Profiles in 2018, and we see similar sentiments and trends at Cyber-Dating Expert, with singles swiping left on Trump supporters, or making politics a deal-breaker for dating.

RELATED: Love VS. Trump: Is Politics Polarizing Relationships?

The conversation about politics on OkCupid is working, as they report profiles that included politics are, “52% more likely to have mutual likes and 78% more likely to have a successful conversation than members who do not.”

Charytan adds, “At OkCupid, we’re proud to be a champion of inclusivity because we believe you should be able to love whomever you want, regardless of your gender, sexual orientation, or ethnicity.”

Interesting stats on daters who support the ACLU include:

• They’re 4 times more likely to consider themselves feminist (and are looking to dating a feminist)
• They’re 2 times as likely to have responded “hell no” to the question,”Trump?”
• They’re 30 times more likely to believe in climate change.

Melissa Hobley, chief marketing officer at OkCupid, tells Refinery29, “LGBTQ communities using political filters on OkCupid comes from the feeling that their rights are under attack by the current presidential administration.” Hobley adds, “Many folks don’t want to have the experience of talking to someone, going on a date, only to find that they voted for Trump — because the stakes are very high.”

Every OkCupid user who answered the question of “do you support the ACLU” will receive the badge on their profile.

RELATED: Do Politics and Love Help or Hurt Your Relationship?

OkCupid was the first dating app to offer 22 gender and 12 orientation options on their users profiles.

If you’re’ a member of OkCupid, click here to answer the question and to receive the badge.

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we believe in inclusion and love for all. We constantly track the trends of politics and dating. We know the importance of finding a date with similar attitudes and values, and are proud of the dating industry as they address these issues.

Julie Spira is and award-winning dating coach and America’s Top Online Dating Expert . She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs. As a political dating expert, Julie’s now writing her third book, Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships.

There’s a great feature on the Bumble dating app that allows you to verify your profile, by taking a selfie that matches their model’s pose on the app.

Verification features help singles date safely and help everyone feel comfortable about authenticity in dating.

Bumble had announced the photo verification feature on the Beehive Blog in 2017, to help prevent catfishing, but now they’ve taken it a step further. If you failed the simple photo verification test, or if you’ve been reported by another user as a potential fake member, your profile might not remain active until you retake it.

Since we feel strongly about dating safety, as do the online dating sites and mobile dating apps, we believe this added step from Bumble is essential. Plus, how can someone find you if you have a hidden profile?

Here are the simple steps to get verified on Bumble.

1. Open the Bumble app on your mobile phone. You’ll have the opportunity to use one of three services, Bumble Date, or the original Bumble, Bumble BFF to find new friends and to go into social networking mode, and Bumble Bizz, to grow your business like you would on Linkedin.

2. Look for the Get Verified Button

3. If you failed the verification test, you’ll get this pop up notification when you log on, so it’s time to try it again.

4. Strike a Pose to Match their model’s pose. It’s typically one where you’re waving your hand up to say hello and send the photo to Bumble. The Bumble team actually has a real person who verifies that your photo looks similar the ones you’ve added to your profile.

5. You’re now verified! Your Bumble profile will appear in searches, so get ready to swipe to find someone special to meet IRL.

If you need help with your Bumble profile, find out how our Swiping Right mobile dating profiles can help you find a date, a friend, or a business contact through the convenience of your mobile phone.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

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