In this episode of Words,Wine and Women, Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker Julie Spira teaches Tara the attorney and Beth the single mom digital dating tips on what to post in their profiles when starting Internet dating and using mobile dating apps for the first time.
Watch this episode if you think the following:
1. If you’re looking for a commitment and only dog-lovers apply.
2. You think there are only creeps online.
3. You want to feel safe with Internet dating.
4. You’re not sure which sites to try.
5. You aren’t sure what types of photos to post.
6. You need help in creating a buddy system.
7. You need tips on what to talk about on a date.
Find out the difference between all of the many dating sites now.
Are you ready to have an Irresistible Online Dating Profile to attract your dream date?
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has appeared in over 600 news stories with her online dating advice. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Recently I met this girl and she gave me her number.
We started texting and calling each other. Then I called her one day and we talked for about 30 minutes, so I thought everything was great.
One day later I sent her a text and she didn’t write back (one day has passed since I texted her).
My question is should I text her back again or should I just forget her?
Dear Texting Guy,
To text, or not to text. That is always a big question we get from our readers who anxiously wait by their phone counting the digital minutes and seconds waiting for the chime sound of a text reply.
Take a deep breath. It’s only been one day since you sent a text that didn’t result in a reply from your new digital crush. While texting etiquette, or our Rules of Netiquettestate that you should reply within 24-hours to a text and most daters think any text that isn’t responded to in four hours means someone isn’t interested, often there are other circumstances which prevent a text reply right away.
You see, lots of things can happen when you send a text. Here are a few reasons why she might not have written back.
1. Her battery ran out.
2. Her phone was turned off.
3. She was on an airplane or in a bad cell reception area.
4. She was at a movie or out with friends and decided she’d get back to you later and just forgot.
5. She’s playing hard to get.
6. She’s not interested in you romantically.
7. She’s got a boyfriend.
Of all of these scenarios, you can look at the first few and realize she was just busy and try texting her again. If she’s involved with someone, you’ll probably find out soon enough.
The point is, we can value ourselves based on a text message that wasn’t returned. What you can do is send a short, flirty, and fun text a day or two later saying, “Hey.. How’s your day going?” This low pressure text message which asks a question might result in her getting back to you and your banter can continue.
What I don’t want to see you do is text her 4, 5, 6, 7 times in one day, because as a guy, it’s your job to make her feel safe to be around you. If you continue to text her without a reply over-and-over again, she might block you or think you’re overanxious, or worse yet, may even think you’re a stalker.
Don’t be that guy, because every woman wants to be with a confident guy. We don’t like game playing when it comes to text messages, and genuinely love to hear from you, so stay on the digital radar. You can take it one step further and actually call her if you have something fun to invite her to.
Do you have questions about your digital love life or need dating advice? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twiter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
The June issue of Women’s Health magazine is now available on the newsstands and we’re jumping for joy at Cyber-Dating Expert headquarters!
Besides being a fun bikini issue with Gwyneth Paltrow on the cover, if you check out page 38, you’ll see a feature on niche dating sites, where it’s an honor to be quoted as the online dating expert in this fun quiz on spotting the fake niche dating site.
So if you’re a fan or Wyldfire, JSwipe, Wingman, or Puppy Partners, or aren’t sure what a niche site is, check out this article and please go buy the print edition filled with fabulous articles for the summer.
Highlights of the Pop Quiz are below. Did you know the answer?
As Mother’s Day approaches, it’s time to take a look at the online dating behaviors of single moms and what their children think of their dates. If you think being a single mom reduces your chance of finding love online, this is a misconception among many others. Read on.
According to dating site PlentyOfFish, a survey of their users revealed that 44% of women dating are line are single moms and their reasons for going online and what they’re looking for may surprise you. With almost 28% of single moms admitting they’ve been dating online for over three years, this survey states that they might not be looking for a knight in white armor.
What’s exciting for single moms, it is turns out they’re finding love 10% faster than women without children at home. Does this mean you should post photos of your children in your online dating profile? As an online dating expert and dating coach, I’m not a fan of having your children appear as your primary profile photo, but believe it’s important to state within the text portion of your profile that you’re proud of your children (and list their ages). It turns out that an overwhelming 76% of single moms do indeed mention their children and/or post photos of them in their profiles.
According to POF:
Like many online daters, single mothers are looking for partners they can relate to. Accordingly, they are 3.4 times more likely to date a single father than childless women are. In contrast, single moms are half as likely to date childless men as women with no children are.
But what do the kids have to say about their mom’s dates?
According to POF, 63% of moms said they’d consider their child’s disapproval of a potential partner as a major red flag or a deal-breaker.
Other key findings include:
- 1.2% are interested in meeting a clone of their ex, while 60.28% said they didn’t have a type.
- 51.81% will introduce their date to their children once they are in a monogamous relationship.
- 54.98% said that with their busy schedule, there was no time to meet anyone anywhere else.
- 53.99% said that online dating allowed them to get to know someone without sacrificing time with their kid(s).
- 56.97% are dating online to find a partnership, as compared to less than 1% who are looking for financial support.
- 62.29% will go online whenever they can find a spare second, followed by weekday nights when their kids are asleep.
On this Mother’s Day, we wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. To find out how you can have an Irresistible Online Dating Profile, visit CyberDatingExpert.com and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice.
How do you create an irresistible online dating profile and protect yourself from being a victim of a ‘Catfish?’
We tackled these questions and more in a radio interview on “The Night Side” on AM1010 in Toronto with Barb DiGiulio.
From word-count to safety; photos to emails; long-distance relationships and more, listen in to find out how you can be more successful with Internet dating.
Follow @JulieSpira for online dating advice.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has helped singles find love online for over 20 years. For more online dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and visit CyberDatingExpert.com.
Our friends at Match teamed up with Wella for a #LoveisintheHair survey to of online daters on Match to find out what the guys and gals had to say about women and their hair color and styles.
Check out this fun Infographic and maybe try a new hairstyle for your next date to mix it up.
Some of the key findings are:
- Blondes have more long-term relationships.
- Brunettes have more first dates.
- Almost half of the women think that sleek and straight hair makes them feel more confident.
- Almost half of the single men found women with curly hair to be more irresistible
- 1/4 of single men find women with straight-sleek hair to be more wife-worthy
- 1/4 of single men find women with hair in braids to be more sporty
Does this mean you need to run to the hair salon and change your color and style? I say no. The number one attraction to a man will always be confidence, so ladies…smile be confident, be happy both on the Internet and offline and he’ll be enjoying his date with you.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for online dating advice.
If you’ve spent hours-and-hours swiping left and right in search of your dream date, you’re not alone.
The latest known celebrity to join Tinder is the lovely Hillary Duff, who spilled the digital beans in a radio interview on “Valentine in the Morning” in Los Angeles. The blonde-haired beauty filed for divorce from her hockey player husband earlier this year and entered the Tinderverse to get back on the saddle.
What does Hillary say about being on the hottest mobile dating app?
She’s says she’s never been on a blind date and is looking forward to her first date tonight.
Duff admits the whole process is “wildly addicting.” She’s talking to about 9 guys now and gives her input on why she swipes right.
To get a date with Duff, she says that the guy must be funny and make her laugh. She’s bringing a few friends on her date and so is her date. So it’s a group date.
The audio of the interview is below.
Need help with your Tinder profile? Check out our Swiping Right service to help you with your Tinder profile and to fill your date card.
Follow @JulieSpira for online dating and mobile dating advice.
When it comes to love and romance, that good morning text or smiley face emoticon can make your day. Receiving a text when your date gets home to say he had a great time will help you fall asleep with a smile on your face. Hearing the chime on your phone with a simple, “Sweet dreams” is an almost guarantee that you’ll be dreaming about him.
On the opposite end of the digital spectrum, the absence of a daily text or a change in routine can send many in new relationships and the lovelorn into an unnecessary panic attack. Let’s face it. Women often tend to over-analyze the word count and sentence structure of every text they receive from men. What’s intended to just make sure you have a connection and to keep the momentum going often ends up with a bad reaction of sending a text you wish you hadn’t pushed the send button on, or not sending any reply at all. It’s enough to make you lose sleep at night, grab a pint of ice cream, or dial ten girlfriends to ask them what to do. It’s exhausting and unnecessary. It’s just a text or a way to ping someone to stay in touch, not a relationship measuring stick on whether he’s into you or not.
Most people are so attached to their cell phones that they sleep with them at night or would put them in the shower with them if they were waterproof. Texting can be addicting, but is a great form of digital foreplay.
If the rhythm of your texts has gone awry from your digital crush, here are some of the reasons why and tips on how to stay calm when your phone isn’t chirping or vibrating.
1. He’s Busy. Men are typically goal-oriented and work and projects are at the top of their list. He might be stuck in a meeting all day out of the office and forgot to tell you his schedule. He might be compartmentalizing and getting his tasks done for the day before he starts to think about romance with you. He might be on an airplane without WiFi. The list goes on. If he isn’t texting you, it doesn’t mean you’re not on his mind. Women on the other hand are great at multitasking. They text, talk, tweet, and blow-dry their hair at the same time.
What to do: Take a deep breath. It’s just a text and not a life-threatening illness. Understand he may not even realize the last time he sent you a text. If you’re on his mind, he might think things are fine.
2. He Responds with One Word. Does it upset you when you write a sweet long text and he replies, with, “ok” or “yep” or “nope?” If so, you’re not alone.
What to do: Reply back with a short text. Use an emoticon such as a happy face to acknowledge it. Women tend to be more gabby. Guys who are busy read the text reply quickly and move on. Don’t look at his word-count as a lack of interest. He’s not keeping score, nor should you.
3. He Hasn’t Figured Out Your Relationship Status.If you started out as friends and moved into casual dating, he might not be sure if it’s time to get serious or not. Going steady is a big deal to guys. It means they typically won’t be keeping their options open anymore. Rather than disappearing permanently, his texts might become less frequent while he sorts it out.
What to do: Stop living and judging the health of your new relationship based upon the frequency of texts. Take the time to enjoy the moments you have together and don’t over think or spend your precious time projecting to the future. Allow your relationship to progress at its own pace. Women worry about relationship labels. Men think about how they feel when they are around you and miss you when you’re apart. When he realizes you’re a catch and doesn’t want anyone stealing his girl, he’ll amp it up. Don’t ask him why he hasn’t sent you a text in five days. When you hear from him, be happy and respond to keep the digital dialog going.
4. He has a girlfriend or is involved. Some guys are just flirts by nature. They like to engage in digital conversations with women to boost their egos to keep their options open. If he’s texting you sporadically, but not putting a date on the calendar or changing plans last minute, he just might be setting you up as a back-up girl or might have had a bump on the road with his steady sweetie.
What to do: Ask him. Be blunt and honest. If he can’t schedule something with you on the weekends, but loves to text with you during the week, you should be filling up your date card and keeping your options open. Let him know you’d like to be friends, but don’t allow yourself to get invested in a relationship where you’re just the backup girl. Who really wants to play second fiddle?
5. He always replies a day later. Most of us are attached to our phones, but sometimes the battery life gets depleted, the phone is turned off, someone went to sleep early, family commitments get in the way, or they glanced at your text and decided to reply in the morning. All of these scenarios are natural. However if every text is returned 24 hours later, then realize that he just isn’t that interested in you or is playing hard to get. The digital flow just isn’t happening.
What to do: You can mirror his actions by taking another 24 hours to reply, but it’s just game-playing. Let him know that you enjoy receiving texts from him and the daily banter. If he still doesn’t up the ante, find someone else who can’t wait to see your text or emoticon on his phone.
Remember, communication in relationships is key and everyone these days use their cell phones for calls, texts, tweets, and facebook comments or likes. Let your guy know that staying in touch when you’re apart and that his texts put a smile on your face. Don’t play texting games and punish him by not replying to his texts when he sends them. No one wants to be with someone who is playing too hard to get. Show that you appreciate it when he takes the time to send you a text. Keep those smiley face emoticons in your text replies when you’re happy to hear from him.
At the end of the digital day, texting is just one ingredient in the recipe for love, it’s not the sole defining factor in your relationship.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com, where they create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene and help daters swipe right on mobile apps such as Tinder. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.
On Friday, April 22nd, the world will celebrate Earth Day. The awareness of Earth Day has grown dramatically since it was first started in 1970. Now, we are taking it further and are honoring our earth all week long, so you can continue throughout the weekend.
According to PartyEarth.com, Earth Day is now celebrated by over one billion people in nearly 200 countries around the globe. They have a list of activities you can attend in a variety of cities around the world.
Here are some fun and romantic suggestions on what to do with your date on Earth Week
- Attend a cleanup of local bodies of water in your area.
- Plant a tree in a botanical garden.
- Go to a park and recite nature poems.
- Wear green and brown or Earth Day tee shirts.
- Cook a meal with organically grown vegetables.
- Turn off your cell phone and enjoy the moments together without technology.
- Go to a beach or park and have a picnic with organic wine and organic food.
ABC News has provided a list of freebies and specials for Earth Day here.
Happy Earth Day to you and your loved ones.
How will you be celebrating Earth Day?
It was a joy and pleasure to be a guest on Larry King Now, with guest host Katherine Schwarzenegger on the topic of mobile dating, Tinder, online dating, and dating in the Digital Age.
In the full segment, “Swipe Right: Dating in the Digital Age,” I was joined by Grant Langston from eHarmony, Psychologist Rob Weiss, and Johnny Drubel.
From how many photos to put on your profile to finding love and hooking up, watch Katherine and I discuss the segment below: