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Laughter Will Fill Your Online Dating Card Faster

Laughter is known as the best medicine, both online and offline.

When it comes to matters of the digital heart, endless dating profiles often include “must have a sense of humor” listed as a requirement for a potential date. Sure you want to fall in love with someone who makes you laugh, right?

Since April is “National Humor Month,” our friends at SKOUT, the global app that helps you meet people and expand your social circle, asked 3,372 of their members their thoughts about profile photos and also did a deep dive into the topics of humor, friendship, and more. The results just might get you to ROTFL as you fill your date card.

It’s time to go beyond a smile or a wink once you see these survey results which proves laughter is the best medicine, both online and offline.

The mobile app found that users who posted a photo of themselves laughing, not just smiling, on their profile have had responses that have skyrocketed above all else. It turns out that photos including laughter were favorited 404% more often and 324% more connections were made as compared to the average SKOUT user who wasn’t laughing.

Here are 6 key findings of the SKOUT Humor Survey

1. We’re Our Own Favorite Comedian

A majority of respondents (75%) think they’re funny. SKOUT also found that people with a witty sense of humor are most likely to think that they’re funny (81%).

2. No One Likes to Laugh Alone

Who doesn’t like making other people laugh? It seems like a majority of SKOUT users agreed and 94% of respondents said they enjoyed making other people laugh.

3. Our Humor Style’s Effect on Friendships

If “bathroom humor” and practical jokes are your style, you’re most likely to have five or more close friends. However, you’re less likely to have five or more close friends if your humor style is more sarcastic or self-deprecating. Be careful of sending those text messages.

4. No Clowning Around

Coulrophobia, a fear of clowns, is a pretty common fear in the U.S., but only 30% of respondents said they were afraid of clowns. The survey found that those who have a sarcastic sense of humor are most likely (37%) to be afraid of clowns. Who knew?

5. Chick Flicks vs. Comedies

When it comes to selecting a movie, the survey found that women were more likely to pass on chick flicks and go for a comedy instead.

Comedy trumped all other movie genres among the women surveyed, with 26% preferring comedy to the 23% that preferred action/adventure, 21% who preferred horror, and 18% who preferred romance movies.

Action and adventure movies were the most common among 43% of men, while comedy came in second as the most popular genre (21%).

6. Laugh It Up With the Locals

The two cities with respondents who were most confident in their sense of humor were New York and San Francisco (83%).

Are you ready to change your zip code for that extra laugh? If so try heading to Houston, Los Angeles, or Atlanta, where almost everyone surveyed said they enjoyed making other people laugh.

It’s both April Fool’s Day and National Humor Month, so start showing off your sense of humor in your profile. Enlist the help of a few friends (or us) to help with your profile or to take photos of you the next time you’re rolling on the floor clutching your stomach in a fit of laughter. The candid aspect of the photo will capture you in the moment and you won’t look posed or fake.

Now go ahead and start laughing.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and has been coaching singles on finding love for over 20 years.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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Julie Spira Quoted in the New York Times on Tinder Love

New York Times TinderIt was an honor and joy to be quoted as the Tinder dating expert in the cover story in the Style section of the New York Times.

In the article, The Tinder Dating Pool Isn’t Completely Shallow, I was interviewed by Brooke Lea Foster on the successful couples who are finding love and serious relationships on the mobile dating app, Tinder.

Six couples were featured who swiped right and either got engaged or have already gotten married to their Tinder love match.

Finding love on Tinder is becoming more common each day. Recently we featured Steph and Mark in our Tinder Love Story feature, as well as Matt and Allee who fell in love after Swiping Right.

Tinder New York Times

So if you think Tinder is just for hook ups, think again.

Related: How to Use Swipe the Vote on Tinder to Match With Your Favorite Candidate

Years ago you didn’t tell anyone you were on any online dating site due to the stigma. It was a matter of time before Tinder became mainstream and this feature piece in the New York Times has shown that Tinder’s come a long way baby.

It was only a year ago that the New York Times did a feature piece on Tinder for Valentine’s Day, where they asked me to weigh in on the popularity of mobile dating apps.

When we created Mobile Dating BootCamp, ahead of the curve in 2012, the Washington Post first broke the story.  Even then, the daters were skeptical.

So grab your mobile phone, log on several times a day, keep those push notifications coming and be open to the possibilities of finding love from the convenience of your mobile phone.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online and IRL for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online (newly revised in 2016 on Kindle and Audible, with bonus dating advice and a new epilogue to help you believe in love).

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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How to Use Swipe the Vote on Tinder to Find Your Candidate

Swipe hte VotePolitics and love. It can be a winning combination or a highly charged debate while on a date.

Tinder has now partnered with Rock The Vote, a non-profit organization with the goal of getting young singles to vote. Their new campaign, “Swipe the Vote” will pop up while swiping on the Tinder mobile app and will ask users to answer 10 questions to help you decide if you’re on the fence.

Tinder stated on their blog that they’ve “been amazed by the amount of users expressing their political views with matches during this presidential campaign.”

“After all, millennials should play a big role in deciding who our next president is,” the company wrote on its blog.

How to Use the Swipe the Vote Feature on Tinder

  1. Log on to Tinder or set up a new account by downloading the app and using your Facebook credentials.
  2. While logged on to the app, while swiping left and right through potential matches, users will see the “Swipe The Vote” option will come up as a potential match. If you swipe right, a ten-question survey pops up and asking you your opinion on 10 issues ranging from same-sex marriage to oil drilling.
  3. If you’re unfamiliar with a specific issue, tapping on the issue gives you general information about the issue as well as what those who support the issue and those who oppose it have to say about it so that users can get well-rounded information.
  4. After reading over an issue, users agree or disagree simply by swiping right or left.

Related: This Strategy Ups Your Tinder Game

Tinder Swipe the Vote

 

“Once you’ve swiped through ten of the hottest issues, you’ll be matched with the candidate who best matches your views,” Tinder wrote on their blog. You’ll also be shown how you compare with other candidates too.

Users are also given the option to register to vote, to further encourage users to “Swipe The Vote” and take the initiative to participate in politics, which is the goal of the partners, Rock The Vote.

Tinder released the latest survey results on their blog showing that Bernie Sanders was the top choice for the Democratic nomination, while Republican Ted Cruz was most popular for the opposite party.

Related: These Jobs Get the Most Right Swipes on Tinder

The survey claims the majority of their male users matched with Hillary Clinton (35.5%) versus Bernie Sanders at 32.7%. However, Sanders was the leading choice among women, receiving 43.4% of Tinder votes, while Clinton received 39.9% of female votes.

Note: Swipe the Vote is available for members of all ages, except Tinder Plus members.

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Have you registered to vote yet? If not, get involved and help “Swipe The Vote!”

Swipe The Vote will remain on the Tinder platform during this Presidential election season.

Not on Tinder? Head to iSideWith.com to figure out which candidate you best match up with and register to vote here.

Who did Tinder match YOU up with?

Need help with your Tinder profile? Our Swiping Right coaching plan will help you find your dream match.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and sign up for our Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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Most Millennials Have Been Ghosted

Millennials Ghosting

Source: Giphy

Breaking up isn’t hard to do anymore.  All you have to do is ghost and disappear.  One minute you’re texting your steady girlfriend or boyfriend non-stop then suddenly they going MIA with no explanation. It’s simple, but oh so hurtful and I don’t recommend it.

Everyday I hear another story of someone who’s been ghosted, also known as ghosting, or the digital disappearing act. When it’s time to call it quits with your boyfriend or girlfriend, where have the manners gone?

Related: Ghosted for the First Time

One of our favorite online dating sites, Plenty of Fish, just released a survey of 800 singles 18-33, which showed that showing that 80% of these singles had been ghosted.

POF says, “Ghosting” seems to be the new trend when ending a relationship, with the majority of singles reporting getting dumped when the person they were dating suddenly cut off all communication with them, without explanation.”

What do do when you’ve been ghosted?

If you’re steady squeeze or digital crush disappeared, bid a fond farewell and get back on that dating saddle.

The good news from the POF survey on digital dating showed that millennials don’t skip a digital beat when this happens to them. Their report showed that 14.% surveyed wasted no time in getting back into the dating scene by scheduling multiple dates for one night. I’ve always said the best revenge is a life well-lived.

Related: Confused, Is He Ghosting?

Communication is Key

Part of the survey studied the attachment between millennials and their mobile phones. Millennials are so attached to their phones, it’s not surprising that 66% of respondents said their preferred method of communication with an online date is through text messaging, followed by only 14% preferring a phone call.

Mobile dating speeds up the process. The classic “three day rule” of waiting to call after a date has gone out the window with millennials. Now, 20% will contact someone the same day to follow up for a second date after a great first date.  Almost half wait a day or two, while 15% don’t bother at all and wait for their date to reach out first. If you wait the full week, your date might forget your name by the time you call.

POF Millennial Dating Study

Overall, millennials have impacted and changed the dating game quite a bit, but at the end of the digital day, they’re still looking for love. That’s good news for all hopeful romantics. Over 1/4 of the respondents stated they check their dating app once a day, while others admitted to checking in at least 5 times a day.

So log on and keep those push notifications coming.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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This Strategy Ups Your Tinder Game

Here’s a little secret that’s been used over 20 million times by Tinder users to increase their responses by from their match.

Send a GIF (animated video) in your message. We’re sharing 20 of Tinder’s top GIFS with you in case you’re not sure which ones to use.

When Tinder, introduced their GIF button earlier this year to allow users to search through the Giphy database to send a GIF to their match, the impact on getting a response increased by 30%! Plus, using a GIF when communicating with your matches on Tinder means your conversation can last twice as long. After all, your potential date will want o know how you did that or might even ask if you created it on your own. It’s a great ice-breaker.

Think about it. You’re swiping and matching, but then the match either fizzles out, or you don’t hear back from him or her. As a Tinder dating expert, I know there’s a strategy to help you stand out so you can meet your match IRL.

Welcome to the world of Tinder, where many connect and others just sit and wonder why it’s not working for them.

If you’ve spent time on an online dating site such as eHarmony or on a mobile app such as Tinder or Bumble, you’ve probably experienced the awkward moment of not knowing what to say to your digital crush after you’ve matched with them.

Related: Tinder Update Ignites Gifs and New Flirting Features

Tinder co-founder and vice president of product, Jonathan Badeen, told Buzzfeed that “GIFs allow people to better say what they want and express emotion, which is something that’s really difficult to do in text alone.”

Badeen said another benefit is that “It opens up people to start more conversations and to break the ice,” and he couldn’t be more right.

Here’s the top 20 GIFs used on Tinder that will help make that first interaction with your Tinder love a little less awkward and give you something more to say than “hey.”

 

We know the default message is “hey” or “hi.” Wouldn’t it be more fun if your match received this gif instead? We think so.

Who wouldn’t love a heart shaped pizza? It says like, or love, and pizza is a universal language.

This GIF screams flirt, big time. Toss that hair and look aside. He’ll want to reply to this one.

Like “hey,” “How you doing” can get a better reaction than just typing the words.

Can you say, “wow!” Let’s schedule a date on the date card, now!

How flattering! There’s something sexy about a woman wearing glasses. Taking them off to view you? Yes, she’ll get a reply.

What a fun way to say hello. Pets can warm anyone’s heart, especially this cute one jumping out of the pool to say hello to you!

Ding dong. Happy holidays! Here’s a balloon bouquet just for you!

It’s the oldest line in the book and if written in text form, just might get deleted. However it screams charming in this GIF.

Don’t say no, when you can say YES! Plus the exclamation point gives it a double whammy.

Normally we don’t recommend hiding behind shades, but these perfectly manicured nails waiving hello to you is worth a reply.

Bat those eyelashes for a guaranteed reply to your message.

A drinking contest? Maybe not, but it’s sure funny and size is important, right?

Hello cowboy and let’s tip a hat for a reply. Yes!

It’s not just the ladies who should be batting the eyelashes. That sweet smile deserves a reply.

Blow him a kiss for a fast and flirty reply.

How proper and sweet. Ok, it’s a bit goofy, but that will get her attention.

Can someone save me? Maybe save me from the other guys on Tinder?

If you wave hello and look like you want to cuddle, your Tinder match just might reply to claim his or her hug.

Wishing you much love and joy on Tinder, or wherever you may roam. xo.

Instagram Julie SpiraThe Perils of Cyber-Datingtwitter - Julie Spira

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, newly released with a magical epilogue and a fairy tale ending.

Sign up for the Free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

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7 Quotes for International Day of Happiness

1456934358635March 20th is International Happiness Day and it’s also the first day of spring.

It’s on a weekend this year, so find some time to add joy and happiness to your life, with a little help with these quotes and gifs.

  1. “The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.” – Audrey Hepburn

2. “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” – Mahatma Gandhi

3. “Being happy never goes out of style.” – Lily Pulitzer

4. “The U.S. Constitution doesn’t guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself.” – Benjamin Franklin

5. “Happiness is not a goal; it is a byproduct.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

6. “The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are, and not who people think you are.” – Goldie Hawn

7. “If you can do what you do best and be happy, you’re further along in life than most people.” – Leonardo DiCaprio

 To get involved, head over to the official International Day of Happiness website and take the pledge to help create a happier world.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Instagram Julie SpiraThe Perils of Cyber-Datingtwitter - Julie Spira

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, newly released with a magical epilogue and a fairy tale ending.

Sign up for the Free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

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Hello Spring! 10 Quotes to Welcome the Season

Spring is here. The groundhog saw his shadow, the days are getting longer, and love is in the air.

Many singles and couples are enjoying spring break. With the change of seasons, some singles looking for a spring fling and are swiping right in a digital frenzy. Others are glad that a new season means it’s time to think about starting a new relationship.

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we’ve been busy coaching singles and wanted to share a few inspirational quotes to help you say embrace a spring filled with hope, love and joy.

Here are 10 Inspiring Quotes for Spring

A life without love is like a year without spring.

“A life without love is like a year without spring.” – Octavian Paller

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” – Seneca

In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns into thoughts of love.

“In the spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns into thoughts of love.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson

i love spring everywhere, but if i could choose i would always greet it in a garden.

“I love spring everywhere, but if I could choose I would always greet it in a garden.” – Ruth Stout

In spring, everyone's in love and flowers pick themselves.

“In spring, everyone’s in love and flowers pick themselves.” – E.E. Cummings

In springtime, love is carried on the breeze. Watch out for flying passion or kisses whizzing by your head.

“In springtime, love is carried on the breeze. Watch out for flying passion or kisses whizzing by your head.” – Emma Racine deFleur

Spring is nature's way of saying, %22Let's party!%22

“Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!'” – Robin Williams

Spring is when life's alive in everything.

“Spring is when life’s alive in everything.” – Christina Rossetti

Spring

“Spring is the time of plans and projects.” – Leo Tolstoy

Love is always fresh

“The garden of love is green without limit and yields many fruits other than sorrow or joy. Love is beyond either condition: without spring, without autumn, it is always fresh.” – Rumi

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Instagram Julie SpiraThe Perils of Cyber-Datingtwitter - Julie Spira

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, newly released with a magical epilogue and a fairy tale ending.

Sign up for the Free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

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7 Must Do Dating Tips for Spring Fever

Spring Fever

It’s official! Spring starts this weekend and we are sure ready for the new season.

It’s springtime and we all know that spring fever is in the air and many singles are hoping to find love this season, or at least fill their date cards.

Now that you’ve moved the clocks forward to daylight savings time, it’s time to think about sunset dates, changing your wardrobe to lighter colors, and getting out to smell the digital roses.

Here are 6 Must-Do Online Dating Tips for Spring

1. Swipe Right

It’s time to turn up the volume and download a few mobile dating apps and start flirting. By now most of you have either used the hot mobile app Tinder, where you swipe to the right to connect with a potential date, or swipe to the left to send them into Internet heaven. It’s time to join the digital party. We can help you with our Swiping Right service to tweak your Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel or other mobile dating apps.

Don’t forget the mobile versions of the dating sites you already belong to. If you’re a member of eHarmony, JDate, Match, OkCupid, PlentyOfFish, Zoosk, or other dating sites, make sure to keep the push notifications on so you can find a date in a digital minute.

2. Log on Twice Daily

Take one hour twice a day and log on to your favorite dating site or scroll through your mobile dating apps. Did you know that just having your profile appearing as online often will raise your visibility in a search to potential dates?  Ready, set, log on.

3. Turn on Chat

Whether you’re on Facebook or are on an Internet dating site or mobile dating app, make sure your settings are configured for you to be able to chat with someone IRL. Download Facebook Messenger on your mobile phone if you haven’t done so and start chatting with someone you might have a digital crush on. Every time you hear that chime on your phone or computer, it just might bring a smile to your face.

4. Cast a Wider Net (and Zip Code)

Not getting much activity in your inbox? Expand your search from 15 miles to 60 or even 200 miles. If you find the one, it’s worth the commute, or even relocating for love. Are you limiting yourself to searching for a narrow age range? Revise your search parameters by a few years. That’s right, 5 years lower and 5 years higher than what you’ve already been looking for might be a good idea. If you’ve upgraded to Tinder Plus, their new feature allows you to add a new location to search in, so if you’re planning on visiting friends or family in New York, you can add that location to start getting matched with singles in another city. By the time you arrive, your date card should be filled.

5. Reorder Your Photos

If you have 3-5 of your favorite photos on your profile and can’t find time to grab a new one from your Facebook page, change the primary photo so your profile looks fresh. When you get the time, add a few more recent shots, wearing something colorful and retire those photos that are 5 years old, or more!

READ: WHEN IN DOUBT, WEAR RED

6. View and Hotlist Profiles

Some people just don’t like writing emails or making the first contact. If you’re a bit shy about initiating contact, view profiles of those you might be interested in and check out your suggested matches.  Chances are they’ll see that you’ve viewed them and will contact you if they’re interested in you. Take it one step further and rate them with 5 stars or put them on your hotlist. Often they’ll be notified, will be flattered, and you just might put a date on your calendar.

 

7. Watch Your Grammar

A study conducted by online dating site and app Zoosk of 9000 online daters found that 72% of users were turned off by blatant spelling errors. Almost 1/4 thought poor grammar was lazy and 93% of singles would be happy to receive a text with proper punctuation. poorly worded messages or messages with typos and grammatical errors. Don’t be that lazy dater who doesn’t appear to be taking  your digital conversation seriously.

Related: National Grammar Day

The good news is Zoosk found that response rates for opening messages sent with an exclamation point are 10% higher than average!

If you still need some help to make your profile stand out from the rest, contact us about our Irresistible Profiles to help you find your dream date.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She was an early adopter of online dating and has been helping singles find love on the Internet for 20 years. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, join us for #DateChat on Thursdays at 5p/PT, 8p/ET, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter, and visit our Facebook page.

Photo credit: Fotolia.com

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Why You’re Not Getting Lucky in Love Online

IMG_1467
Spring is around the corner. The clocks have been pushed ahead and many of you are calling and writing in with that achy pain and frustrated feeling.

You’re swiping, you’re smiling, you’re flirting, and you’re still single.

If you feel this way, know that you’re not alone. Just like you do a spring cleaning of your closets and homes, or your medical health checkup at the beginning of a season, it’s time for a digital checkup on the reasons why you’re not successful with online dating.

If you’re feeling unlucky on the day one believes in luck the most, this post is for you.

Roman philosopher Seneca said it best when he talked about luck. “Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity. ”

Just how prepared are you? How much work are you willing to do to be happy and in love? Is it fate and are you waiting or will you take matters into your own digital hands?

Here’s an open letter to women to help open your heart to find love this spring.

Do any of these sound familiar?

  • I’m unhappy with the quality of matches.
  • I think all guys want to hook up.
  • Online dating and mobile dating feels like too much work.
  • No one responds to my emails.
  • Guys have too many options and are looking for the next great swipe.
  • All he wants to do is text.
  • I don’t want to be online for too long.
  • The same people are online that were online last year.

The list goes on.

These gripes and frustrations are coming from both men and women. You see, we’ve all been there. I can tell you that we are coaching more men these days than women and they are SERIOUS about finding love.

They pay for a dating coach, they put the expense and effort into getting new photos taken for the Internet dating profiles, they’re proactive and are writing to ten women a day. They put the same effort into online dating or are using their mobile dating apps to find a partner, with the same effort they do in getting that promotion at work. They know it can take a moment, a day, a week, or a year. They do the work and for the most, they don’t complain about it. There’s a gold ring at the end. It’s getting the girl.

This is what someone does when they pursue what they’re looking for. Seek and ye shall find.

Related: 7 Ways to Flirt on St. Patrick’s Day

As women, we are trained to wait for the man to find us. We don’t search that frequently and we don’t send ten emails to men every day or respond to that mutual match on a mobile dating app first.  That’s too much male energy for us. We think about the guy who couldn’t commit, about a potential date’s height, income, our ex who found a younger girlfriend, and the boyfriend who cheated. There’s so much negative thinking going on, that it’s impossible to attract someone great. Guys are guilty until proven innocent. I know this, because I talk to single men and women every day who are looking for love.

Related: Ladies, Make the First Move Online to Score 2.5 More Dates

These days, if you don’t have a mobile dating strategy, you’re pretty much not in the game. Not every swipe turns to a match. Not every match turns into a date. Not every date turns into your boyfriend. Not swiping means you just might be waiting…and waiting. Next season, you’ll be reading this post again waiting for summer to begin, wondering where all the great guys are.

So what are the guys complaining about?

  • Every girl’s profile looks the same.
  • Every girl wants a sugar daddy or someone to pay her bills.
  • Women have too many choices and they never write back.
  • We want to sleep with her eventually, but we need to have chemistry.
  • Women are looking for free meals.
  • Women complain about bad dates, exes, work, and money.
  • She’s a serial dater and not looking for something serious.
  • The same people are online that were online last year.

As a Digital Matchmaker and Online Dating Expert for over 20 years, I can tell you that both men and women have the same complaints. They want to connect, they just can’t find you. Or if they find you, you complain and don’t seem open and available.

I’m here to tell you that women are allowed to make the first move, while still remaining in their feminine energy. This is why both women and men enjoy the new Bumble app, where women make the first move. Women have more control over their love lives now, rather than waiting for their one in 50 million to find them. Men are flattered to hear from the women. Guys are frustrated when they keep swiping and writing, with no reply. Matches are being made. It’s what happens IRL that can help or hinder the process of getting to a second date and starting a relationship.

Related: Why Women Like Bumble

Here’s the thing, everyone’s dating online. No one calls to say they’re super-excited to be dating five guys a week for 52 weeks. They’re hoping their online dating tenure is shorter than longer.

A Pew Internet Research survey on online dating has shown that 30% of women actually enlist the help of someone to write their dating profile. These are the women who are taking it seriously. The same survey also showed that three times the amount of singles 18-24 are using mobile dating apps as compared to two years ago. It also showed that online dating use for adults 55-64 has doubled in the same time period. Everyone from your kids to grandma are dating online.

As you write down your long list of what you’re looking for and what you’re NOT looking for, I urge you to take any negative words or statements out of your vocabulary, out of your profile, and out of your first few dates. Everyone has a bad day here or there. If you’re walking train wreck, no one will want to date you or fall in love with you. Sure, they’ll sleep with you if you let them, but then you’ll complain that all guys want to hook up. As much as guys say they want a drama-free woman, there is no such thing as a drama free life. Our life lessons are what makes us unique.

Related: How to Write a Dating Profile That’s As Cool And Interesting as You

With spring around the corner, I urge you to leave the drama behind, leave the novel behind and go out and be happy. Enjoy meeting new people and learning about life outside of your world.

If your profile is filled with deal-breakers and you’re saying “don’t contact me if…,” I promise you, he won’t.

Life and love have a bit of luck involved, but it’s the effort that you put in that will determine the outcome of your fate. If you’re still stuck, you know where to find us.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert , Mobile Dating Expert, and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s a frequent guest in the media with her online dating advice. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, and remember to sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

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10 Ways to Flirt on St. Patrick’s Day

Cyber Dating ExpertYears ago, I would wear a button that said “Kiss Me, I’m Irish,” even though there was not a speck of Irish blood in me.

These days, to get into the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day, it’s time to ramp up your digital flirting skills, dress in green, and swipe right to fill your date card, or at least to enjoy the time together with the object of your affection or potential date.

1. Send a flirty text.  Texting the the person you have a crush on to say “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” will brighten their day. Add a four-leaf clover emoji. Even if they aren’t Irish, chances are they’ll reply to you.

2. Wear green.  Find the tackiest flashing buttons, goofiest, hats, and make sure to wear something green to celebrate. It’s the easiest way to strike up a conversation with someone on St. Patrick’s Day.

3. Change your dating profile.  It’s time to mix it up online. Post a photo wearing something green, ask if someone wants to get lucky in love, post quotes about the luck of the Irish and St. Patrick’s Day on your profiles and on social media. Get bolder and post “Kiss me if you’re Irish.” Start swiping right in the morning on Tinder, Bumble, or other mobile dating apps to find a date by the afternoon.

4. Send a GIF. Open your mobile dating app and send a GIF to your digital crush. These days, apps such as Tinder, Bumble, or even Twitter are using Giphy. Send a fun animated GIF to someone you’ve been chatting with to spice up the convo.

5. Send an animated e-card.  We’re big fans of JibJab!, where you send a customized a video or e-card starring you. It will come complete with background music and is guaranteed to give a smile or two.

6. Smile everywhere you go.  A smile is contagious and everyone wants to be around someone who appears to be happy. Practice the 5-second stare while smiling at someone you would like to meet. It’s the cue for them to come over and wish you a “Happy St. Patrick’s Day.” Who knows where the conversation will lead?

7. Compliment everyone.  You might normally run away from the guy with the tacky green tee shirt, but stop and say hello. Take it one step further and pose in a ‘selfie’ together.  He won’t be able to help himself and will put his arm around you for the photo. If the sparks start to fly, it’s your invitation to continue the conversation. Be even bolder and post it, with permission of course, on Facebook or Instagram.

8. Find a parade.  Go to a St. Patrick’s Day parade in your city. Everyone loves a parade and it will give you an excuse to start a conversation with those you end up bundled up with.

 

8. Go to the dog park.  There’s a reason it’s called puppy love. Put a green bandana on your dog’s collar and take a walk to the local dog park. Your dog will do the flirting for you and it will be a great conversation starter.

10. Make a Shamrock Shake. We have a healthy recipe for a Shamrock Shake that you’ll absolutely love and it can be a fun date idea. If you aren’t into buying the ingredients, and are flying solo, head to Starbucks for a coffee date and order a green tea Frappuccino, or go to a sushi bar and order green tea and green tea ice cream.

 

Wishing you much love, luck, and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. 

Julie Spira is America’s Top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com.

She’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

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