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Match Singles in America Study Says Put Your Phone Away

Online Dating Anxiety Disorder

Every year, our friends at Match conduct an in-depth survey of singles to determine their habits in a variety of topics.

In the 7th annual Singles in America study, released for Valentine’s, the dating site surveyed 5000 singles and showed that many suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out) on social media, and that some are addicted to the process that I call Online Dating Anxiety Disorder, or ODAD.

On the Match blog, they posted their findings and found that 15% of singles say they feel addicted to the process of looking for a date. It gets worse for millennials, where they are 125% more likely to feel addicted to dating, than older generations.

Singles in America - ODAD

RELATED: Online Dating Anxiety Disorder: Is it Worse During the Holidays?

What’s interesting to note, is that men suffer more from online dating addiction, with 97% admitted to feeling addicted to finding a date, as compared to 54% of women who are feeling burned out while looking for love.

What is Online Dating Disorder, and Do You Have it?

Online dating anxiety disorder, online dating addition disorder, or even online dating fatigue. I call it ODAD and it happens to singles who swipe all day long on mobile apps and to those with the shopping cart mentality who feel there’s another pretty face around the corner. When this happens, I encourage singles to take a break, take a walk, go to the movies, and leave your mobile phone at home.

RELATED: Holiday Dating Online: Does it Make You Anxious?

If this feels like a dating doomsday story, that’s not exactly the case. The good news is over half (53%) of singles have created a dating profile and 40% of singles actually met someone they found online, as compared to 25% of singles surveyed who said they met someone from a friend.

So if you’re feeling burned out on dating and tired of swiping, my best advice to you is to take a mini break. Spend time with your friends, read a good book, have a girls’ or guys’ night out and then jump back on the digital dating saddle and log on for love.

Leave Your Mobile Phone OFF the Table During a Date

Single in America Match Phones
Source: SinglesinAmerica.com

Remember, your mobile phone is really for emergencies if you’re on a date, or for confirming a date with someone, other than the person you’re sitting across from. Keep that phone in your purse and pocket and focus on getting to know your date. The Match survey found that 75% of singles are turned off if you answer your phone on a date and 66% aren’t keen on you texting during a date.

While this seems to make common sense, one of the biggest complaints I get from clients as a dating coach, is that their date was texting and tweeting during the date. Don’t do this. Put your phone away!

If you happen to love your meal and can’t resist taking a photo for your instagram account, ask permission from your date to do so, instead of just snapping away. Let your date know you’re a foodie and love the meal in front of you. This way he or she will be pleased on the selection of the date and won’t feel like they are lower on the dating totem pole than your not-so-smart phone.

For more on the survey visit SinglesinAmerica.com.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online with her Irresistible Profiles programs for over 20 years. Julie’s the recent winner of the 2017 iDate Awards for Best Dating Coach and is the author of the bestseller The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and ranks as the most influential person in social media in “dating” and “online dating.”

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice.

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7 Tips to Get Lucky in Love by Valentine’s

7 Ways to Find a Date for Valentine'sValentine’s is about one week away. Some singles are stressing big time about how to find a date for the most romantic day of the year. Others could care less and will hang out with friends or hide under the sheets alone.

If finding a date for Valentine’s is on your list, I have great news for you. With a little effort and the help of your mobile phone, you can get lucky and find a date by Valentine’s Day.

7 tips for singles to get lucky in love this Valentine’s Day

1. RSVP to all events and parties

Whether it’s a business mixer or speed dating event, go out, dress up, and wear that smile of yours. Check out some events on MeetUp or any singles events and don’t be shy.

2. Update your online dating profile

If your primary shot was from three years ago, it’s outdated. It’s time for a digital facelift to show off the new you. Post photos of a recent trip and caption them if you can. Find a favorite photo or two on Facebook or Instagram. If you got a new puppy add it to your profile, but don’t use it as a primary shot. Mobile dating app Tinder actually reorders your photos showing the best one first.

3. Download 3 mobile dating apps

Research shows that singles are using on average 3 mobile dating apps. They’re so easy to use and you can find a date in minutes, not days. A Pew research survey showed that the number of millennials using dating sites and apps has tripled in the last few years!

4. Be proactive and Upgrade During Peak Times

The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal. If you’re online, write to 5-10 people a day. Think of it like sending out 5-10 resumes a day if you’re looking for a job, only this is better. You could find the love of your life. Respond quickly and turn on those push notifications to find out when someone hot sends you a message!

Also, you can appear more frequently on sites and apps for just a few dollars.Did you know that OkCupid lets you know when it’s Rush Hour? Match has a Top Spot and Tinder has a Boost? All of them boost your profile to the top of the list in a search, where you can be viewed more than 10 times than normal. Yes, for less than the price of one cup of coffee, it’s worth a shot.

5. Check out your single friends on Facebook 

Have a digital crush? Check out his or her relationship status and if it it says “single,” go ahead and start flirting on Facebook chat. Plenty of couples have found love on the world’s largest social network, as can be seen on FacebookLoveStories.com.

6. Go to a restaurant or coffee shop with WIFI

Working from home? Why be alone when you can be out in public with your computer instead. Make sure to dress up and take walks to the restroom or pass by as many people as possible with a smile on your face. It will become your new office to work and flirt. Stop, stare, and smile.

7. Text an ex 

As a last resort, know that 20% of singles do text their former love on Valentine’s if they’re flying solo. Send a quick Happy Valentine’s message with an emoticon to your former flame. If you decide to do so, do it in the morning, not at night, as he or she might be on a Valentine’s date, or they might look at you as a late night booty call.

Remember, although Valentine’s Day is a big day for couples, the day after, February 15th, is Singles Awareness Day. Either way, love yourself first and love will come your way.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Looking for help with dating? Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been named the Best Dating Coach of the Year in the 2017 iDate Awards and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and facebook. SIGN up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 
Photo credit: Fotolia

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12 Best Mobile Apps For 8 Different Dating Goals

Irish IndependendWe know that everyone is looking for something different when it comes to matters of the heart.

With that in mind, there is no one-size-fits-all formula or perfect dating site for everyone and the average mobile dating app user is active on 3.5 mobile dating apps!

When reporter Chrissie Russell interviewed me as the dating expert for a special Valentine’s issue of the Irish Independent’s weekend magazine, I provided a list on how people can find the right dating website or app for them. The feature is called “Finding the Most Appealing Dating Technology.”

If you can’t pick up a copy of the magazine, here are some highlights that were featured.

Dating Apps for Different Relationship Goals

1. The Young Professional: Match is a great choice because of the large amount of members worldwide. You can search by his or her profession and list your profession in your profile choices. Hinge is a dating app geared towards young professionals and recently they eliminated the swiping feature to differentiate them from Tinder. Now they’re calling themselves, the relationship app.

READ MORE: Match Adds Misconnections Feature

2. Someone a Bit Cynical About Online Dating and Apps: If you’re cynical, have some fun with some niche dating apps such as Bristlr for women who fancy men with facial hair, Align to match you based on astrology, or Gluten Free Singles for the gluten-fee intolerant.

3. Someone Just Looking for Fun: Tinder started out with most of the users swiping right to hook up. Now they say 80% of their members are looking for a meaningful relationship. Read the mini bios on the profiles to see if you should swipe right or left to find someone fun to hang out with.

READ MORE: These Names Will Get You More Right Swipes on Tinder

4. Someone Who Wants Companionship: Many sites and apps will help you find friends. The Bumble app has a BFF feature, where you can switch from looking for a relationship, to looking for a friend to hang out with for a non-dating experience. They call it switching to the friend zone.  OkCupid also gives you a choice of searching for New Friends, Casual-Dating, Long-Term Dating, or Casual Sex. Happn is a great app, because it matches you based on who you’ve crossed paths with, as they are a geo-location app.

5. Someone Divorced or Widowed and a Bit Apprehensive of Online Dating: If you’re starting over and don’t want to be bombarded with cubs looking for cougars and might want to meet someone more serious, eHarmony, a name that’s been around since 2000 would be the way to go. They allow you to take your time in communicating with potential dates.

READ MORE: Bumble App Now Helps You Find Your BFF

6. Someone Sporty Who Wants to Avoid the Bar Scene: Avoiding the bar scene is high on a lot of singles’ lists. Any site or app that has a chat feature would be good to have a virtual drink date. You can both grab a glass of bubbly or your favorite spirit and chat. If you’re a workout fanatic,, try the new Sweatt app for fitness enthusiasts.

7. Gay or Bi-Curious: Grindr was the original app for gay men, but these days many sites allow you to search based on your sexual preferences. Check out OkCupid, where in the drop down menu of your profile you can state if you’re Straight, Gay, or Bi-sexual. Click the more button and you’ll find a wider selection including Asexual, Demisexual, Heteroflexible, Homosexual, Lesbian, Pansexual, Queer, Questioning, and Sapiosexual. That’s a pretty full menu. Tinder just added a new gender feature, which includes transgender relationships.

8. Someone Not Very Good with Technology: For those technically challenged, they won’t be happy with any site. I suggest they enlist the help of a dating coach with experience in this area. A recent PEW research study showed that 30% of women had someone write their profiles. If you really can’t stomach logging on and swiping right, find a professional who can do this. As one who’s been been coaching singles for over 20 years, I do the work for many busy CEOs, or technically challenged singles, to be their digital wing woman. It solves the goal of meeting someone, while not having to be attached to the push notifications on your cell phones.

READ MORE: Find out How Irresistible Profiles Will Help You Find Your Dream Date

About Julie:

Julie Spira is the world’s top online and mobile dating expert. As an early adopter of the Internet, Julie has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and ranks as the most influential person in social media in the categories of “dating” and “online dating.” Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and is the go-to person in the media, having appeared in over 1000 stories on the intersection of dating and technology. She was the winner of the 2017 iDate Awards for Best Dating Coach.  She’s also listed as one of the top 10 columnists to follow on Twitter.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

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Valentine’s Day for Women is Like the Super Bowl for Men

Valentine's Day versus the Super BowlIt’s officially Super Bowl week and Valentine’s Day is two weeks from today.

As we count down the days to Super Bowl 51 (LI) at NRG Stadium in Houston. Stadium, whether you’re rooting for the New England Patriots or the Atlanta Falcons, one thing is for sure, it’s going to be an emotional and exciting two weeks for both men and women alike.

Women often wonder if men hate Valentine’s Day and are sending roses and buying them chocolate just to stay out of the doghouse.  Men want to know if the girls are authentically cheering for their favorite team and if they really like sports at all, or are they there just to see Lady Gaga perform in the half time show.

In other words, most men don’t want to be distracted by women while watching the game, unless they’re viewing the cheerleaders on TV.  Guys wait all year for this day and romance is put on hold until one team gets the ring.

This year, the Super Bowl Sunday and Valentine’s Day are nine days apart. Some decide to celebrate the holiday over the weekend before, on February 10-12th and others pony up the price fixe menu at a romantic restaurant, because they know if you’re not together on Valentine’s Day, there will be an explosion, and it won’t be when you’re under the sheets.

Valentine’s Day is the Super Bowl of Dating

I’ve gone on record as saying the Valentine’s Day for Women is like the Super Bowl for Men. It’s a double-header, so enjoy the ride. Most guys won’t even make a dinner reservation or ask a girl out until after Super Bowl Sunday. I encourage you not to wait until the last minute to ask your date to be your Valentine, or you might find out that she’s made other plans.

RELATED: Valentine’s Countdown: How to Land a Date

Here’s my side-by-side comparison of the Super Bowl and Valentine’s.

Super Bowl Sunday is a sacred day for most American men. It’s showtime as most guys count down the days, hours, and even minutes to their favorite television day of the year.

Meanwhile, across the hall, women have their own favorite holiday to think about, Valentine’s Day. With these two major events just over one week apart, it’s obvious that the Super Bowl for men is revered in the same way as Valentine’s Day is for women. Whether you’re a sports fan or a hopeless romantic, comparing the two will help you understand how important these days are for the opposite sex.

Why do I think the Super Bowl for men is like Valentine’s Day for women?

Quite simply, both men and women put all of their emotional energies into these two bigger-than-life events. Often, a woman doesn’t understand why watching two teams trying to score is so important to her guy. He just can’t miss this game. It’s the end of the season and the two best teams go for the ring.

Guys on the other hand, simply don’t understand that if you’re dating a woman and forget to plan something, just anything, for Valentine’s Day, you probably won’t get a date with her on February 15th, or any day after. Guys, if you’re playing the field on mobile dating apps or flirting on Tinder and Bumble, if you don’t ask our your digital crush, you lose. Game over.

Men wait all year for the Super Bowl, this big day in television. Women wait for Valentine’s Day, with the hope that their special guy will either propose, offer to take his online dating profile down, or say I love you for the first time. Women even secretly hope that the guy they are dating might want to change his Facebook status from ‘Single’ to ‘In a Relationship.’ It’s on the digital wish list for women, period.

Are you Prepared for Super Bowl and Valentine’s Day?

Men are very prepared for the Super Bowl. They decide which venue to view the game at and with whom they would like to spend watching the teams battle it out. Women like to be prepared. They start giving little hints out a month in advance about their favorite romantic restaurant, post photos of jewelry or trinkets on instagram and facebook, all with the hope the the guy they’re dating will take the cue and book a reservation before their favorite eatery is fully booked.

However in contrast, when a man’s favorite team loses the Super Bowl, he will be disappointed, but will get over it. He’ll know there’s another chance next year and will spend the entire football season rooting for his team. If a woman’s favorite beau, or someone she is dating ,doesn’t ask her out for Valentine’s Day, she won’t get over it. Expect a breakup or a big confrontation.

RELATED: 10 Valentine’s Date Ideas that Won’t Break the Bank

She’ll assume he’s romancing another woman and will know she’s not on the top of his list. Chances are, his shelf life as her “number one guy” will immediately expire. Unless he’s out of town on business or in a long-distance relationship, he won’t get another chance to romance her. No woman wants to be at the bottom of the dating totem pole, especially on Valentine’s Day. Expect to be unfriended, or don’t be surprised if she doesn’t return your phone calls or texts.

So whether you like football or not, love or hate Valentine’s Day, remember to talk to the person you are dating about what these days mean to both of you. If you’re single, use this opportunity to accept all invitations for both the Super Bowl and Valentine’s singles mixers. Even if your team loses and you’re dateless on the 14th, you’ll be casting a wider net and expanding your social circle.

Go ahead and accept that Super Bowl party invitation. If you’re single, you just might find a date in time for Valentine’s as well. It’s a win-win for everyone. If you need help with your profile or online dating advice, we’re here to help.

Related: Social Media Rules for Valentine’s Day

Which team will you be rooting for this Super Bowl and do you love, or hate Valentine’s Day?

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Sign up for our Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

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And the Winner is…Julie Spira: Best Dating Coach

idate Winner Julie SpiraOne of the highlights of the year is attending the iDate Conference and Awards in Miami.

Every year in January, the dating industry gets together to discuss the latest trends in dating, mobile apps, and more.

This year, the 8th Annual iDate Awards were held at the Miami Botanical Gardens and it was an honor to be voted as a finalist for “Best Dating Coach of the Year.”

When it came time for celebrity Matchmaker Carmelia Ray to announce one of five finalists in this category, I actually felt nervous and closed my eyes, hoping I’d hear my name.

RELATED: Online Dating Expert Julie Spira Named Best Dating Coach at iDate Awards

My wish came true, but not without the votes and support of the dating industry and all of the singles around the world who voted for me as Best Dating Coach of the Year.

Here’s a quick video of my acceptance speech at the iDate Awards.

The 13 iDate Award Winners Included:

  • Best Dating Site: Match
  • Best Dating Coach: Julie Spira (me!)
  • Beat Mobile Dating App: Bumble
  • Best Marketing Campaign: eHarmony
  • Best Up and Coming Dating Site: Lively
  • Best New Technology: Smart Match App
  • Best Matchmaker: Andrea Messent
  • Best Software and Saas: Dating Pro
  • Most Innovative Company: eHarmony
  • Best Payment System: CCBill
  • Best Niche Dating Site: Christian Filipina
  • Best Affiliate Program: Wamba and Mamba
  • Best Product Design: Dating Pro

Many thanks to Marc Lesnick from the Internet Dating Conference and Mark Brooks from Courtland Brooks for the great work putting together this event and for recognizing my 20+ years as a pioneer in the online dating industry.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for dating advice and sign up for the FREE Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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Dating Expert JULIE SPIRA Named Best Dating Coach at iDate Awards

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

SPIRA is Celebrated for her Excellence in Navigating Love

Miami, Florida –January 26, 2017—JULIE SPIRA, who ranks as the most influential person in dating and online dating, was named “Best Dating Coach,” at the iDate 2017 Awards. The iDate Awards represents the best dating and social networking has to offer the public. The awards include 13 categories and is the largest gathering of executives who specialize in online dating, matchmaking, mobile dating, and the growing niche dating industry.

Julie SpiraSpira, CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, was one of five finalists in her category and received a majority of the votes. Other winners of the iDate Awards included Match, eHarmony, and mobile app, Bumble. Spira who specializes in coaching singles who are looking for love online, is an accomplished dating coach and bestseller author who helps people looking for love in the digital age.

“Its great to be recognized for something that I’m truly passionate about,” said 2017 Best Dating Coach winner, Julie Spira. “When you love playing cupid, it’s a joy to help those who desire love to date smarter, with the goal of finding their soul mates.”

Held on location in Miami, at the Miami Beach Botanical Garden, the Internet Dating Conference is the largest trade show and business conference for the online dating, social networking, and matchmaking industries. Several business meetings are held each year covering the technology, management and marketing for the industry. The Miami conference is the largest. Held each January, it focuses on the multi-billion dollar global dating industry.

About Julie Spira

Julie Spira is a dating and relationship expert who has become the go-to person in the media for online dating and mobile dating advice. She’s been featured in over 1000 media stories and has been helping singles find love for over two decades by helping them find their perfect match.

  • America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker
  • Ranks as most influential person in dating and online dating
  • Named as one of the Top 10 Columnists to Follow on Twitter
  • Winner, Best Dating Coach for 2017

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter

PR Contact: Amy Prenner
310-709-1101

amy@theprennergroup.com

Contact: Julie Spira
310-433-7786
julie@juliespira.com

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Match Adds New ‘Missed Connections’ Feature

Now you can mind more ways of meeting people around you on your mobile app.

As announced on the Match blog, their new location-based feature, “Missed Connections” will help the 55% of singles that feel technology has made it more difficult to connect with others in real life. Match wants to reverse this trend by harnessing technology to do what people want to do naturally—meet in real life.

Match, who won the Best Dating Site of the Year at the iDate awards, just announced their new feature, with the intent of beineg less creepy that the old Craig’s List “Missed Connections, and similar to Happn’s app, which is solely based on matching you with people you’ve crossed paths with.

This new feature on Match will help you fill your date card with singles, AFTER you’ve crossed paths at the same place.

The trend of meeting IRL is important to dating apps and sites, to avoid ghosting, breadcrumbing, or just chatting without meeting IRL.

RELATED: Happn Now Helps Users Meet Up With Match’s Faster

Match Missed Connections

How Missed Connections Works

  1. Match members will see a Missed Connections introduction page in the app, showing off the feature and asking you to opt-in.
  2. Once you’ve opted in, you’ll be able to browse through your recent feed of members you’ve crossed paths with, based on your current matching criteria and your location.
  3. The feature now makes geolocation THE priority in your search criteria, revealing the intersection points for your last crossed spot, within one block (such as Prince and Broadway) and the number of times a person has crossed paths with you.
  4. Missed Connections now makes it easy to start up a conversation, right within the feed, providing a natural alibi to connect with someone else.

Match’s CEO Mandy Ginsberg tells Mashable,

“While we all love to know as much as we can about potential mates, this isn’t just about giving you more information. The whole point is starting these relationships out in the real world.” 

RELATED: 5 Love Experts Predict Dating Apps for 2017, Because It’s Time to Get Offline Faster

Missed Connections helps you meet the person who hangs out at the same coffee shop or dog park; someone with similar interests.

With the trend of meeting IRL and taking the relationships offline in 2017, we have high hopes for this feature, but remember, just because you like the same place, doesn’t remove the safety element you should always adhere to when meeting someone from offline, online.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the recipient of the Best Dating Coach of 2017 and has been coaching singles with her Irresistible Dating Profiles programs for over two decades.

For dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram, LIKE us on Facebook, and sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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10 Safest States in the U.S. for Online Dating

10 safest states for online datingWith Valentine’s around the corner, a question I’m asked frequently is, “How safe is online dating?”

As an online dating expert who constantly teaches dating safety tips, I was pleased to see that highspeedinternet.com (HSI) and SafeWise, combined their efforts and did a deep dive into online dating safety, state-by-state to come up with a list of the safest and most dangerous states to be swiping right to look for a sweetheart.

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we believe that vetting your dates online can be safer than curling up at a bar with an intoxicated stranger. Therefore, each state is safe if you take the time to learn about someone and spot the red flags of those who might not be sincere.

At the end of the digital day, we say date online in all states and countries and cast a wide net, while selecting wisely.

Here’s their list of the safest places to find a digital sweetheart.

Top 10 Safest States to Date Online

  1. Vermont
  2. Maine
  3. New Hampshire
  4. Utah
  5. Idaho
  6. Wyoming
  7. West Virginia
  8. Connecticut
  9. Minnesota
  10. New Jersey

Their research included, crime, sex education, STDs.

On the downside, this report included a list of the 10 states they felt were more dangerous for digital daters.

  1. D.C.
  2. Alaska
  3. Louisiana
  4. New Mexico
  5. Nevada
  6. South Carolina
  7. Arkansas
  8. Tennessee
  9. North Carolina
  10. Alabama

For more dating safety tips, we recommend reading these articles.

RELATED: A Catfish Tale: Reelin’ Them In

RELATED: Online Dating Tips From an Expert

RELATED: From ‘Catfishing’ to Online Dating Tips: Julie Spira Speaks to Charles Tendell

RELATED: Badoo’s Selfie Feature May Prevent a Catfish

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. Julie’s been called the “Pioneer of Online Dating” and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a H0peful Romantic Looking for Love Online and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene.

For dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and LIKE us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

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Valentine’s Day Countdown – How to Land a Date

Valentine's Day - CyberDatingExpert.comTime is flying and it’s about 1 month until Valentine’s Day, the most romantic day for many, and a time others can’t stomach. It’s also a long weekend for many right now, so it’s time to come up with a dating strategy, both online and offline.Whether you love or hate Valentine’s Day, our annual  Valentine’s Survival Guide is here to help you leading into February 14th.

If you’re single, there’s no need to hide under the covers. If you’re dating someone, but he hasn’t asked you to be his or her Valentine just yet, here are some tips to enjoy the day, regardless of your relationship status.

Remember, Valentine’s is on a Tuesday this year, so if you aren’t celebrating on the 14th, you have an opportunity to book a romantic weekend away, while having a quiet Valentine’s Day snuggled up in the arms of your sweetheart. 

1. Ramp up Your Online  Search

Let’s face it, everyone seems to be online theses days, so if you’re not logging on twice EVERY day, checking your matches and responding quickly to his or her emails, some other girl or guy just might get their attention faster. I always say the squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal. If you can carve out time to go to the gym, you should be able to schedule time to log on daily. Make sure you’ve signed up for push and email notifications of when someone has emailed you, liked you, flirted with your or made yo their favorite. Check out their profile and thank them for the compliment.  Ditch the old waiting game rules. This is how the digital dating world words.

2. Download New Mobile Dating Apps 

If you’re not on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Happn, or are using the mobile dating apps from your favorite online dating site, make more of an effort to download these apps now! January is the busiest month for NEW online and mobile dating log ons. The numbers are HUGE, so we want you to jump right in to meet someone special. 

3. Start Swiping Right

Being proactive on mobile dating apps is the only way to fill your date card. Open your apps and swipe right to your matches if they are at least 50% of what you’re looking for. Now is not the time to be swiping left.  It’s really a numbers game. Unless your match is advertising for a hookup or looks like an a total freak, then swipe right and take a moment to say hello. A guy will be flattered to see the notification that you’re digging him digitally. Remember to take your relationship from online to offline so you can meet IRL. This means a few chats back-and-forth and then a MANDATORY phone date. Keep the date to 20 minutes with the goal of getting a second date on the calendar.

4. Attend Singles Events

The one thing about singles events is, everyone is in the same boat. They’re single and are hoping to connect with someone. Check out Match.com’s Stir events in your city with happy hours and fun games, RSVP to a MeetUp for a subject you’re passionate about, and attend business networking events that seem to ramp up the after the first of the year. The more you’re out there in the public, the more opportunities you have to flirt with a potential date. Remember not to be too coy. Be bold and smile.

Dr. Pat Allen, my mentor and author of”Getting to ‘I Do’,” suggests the five-second stare. It may feel like an eternity, but it may bring you closer to that cute guy across the room. P.S. Remember to wear red! It’s the color of love and romance and is backed up by tons of research studies to be known to attract men.

Related: Read Valentine’s Survival Guide

5. Text an Ex

Did you know that 20% of singles do text an ex on or around Valentine’s Day? So if both of you are single, why not get together and go down memory lane. Just make sure you’re BOTH on the same page and just enjoy the evening. You may not be rekindling that old romance, but the familiarity might just make it a fun evening rather than flying solo. Or, you might rekindle the romance and realize that the other people you dated while apart just didn’t match up to your ex.

Read: Holiday Dating: 5 Tips on Getting Back with an Ex

6. Lighten up on the Pressure and do Something Fun

From going to an amusement park to ride the Ferris Wheel to taking a cooking class or going ice skating, make Valentine’s Day a no-pressure experience if you’re in a new relationship and aren’t exclusive yet. There’s no need to break the bank.

Being single on Valentine’s isn’t the end of the world. Sure you go into stores and see nothing but boxes of red candy and roses throughout the grocery stores, but a new survey from U.K. online dating site Smooch.com shows that only 10% of the 2000 singles polled actually love Valentine’s Day. Are the other 90% pretending to go along with the program?

Grab your BFF’s, dress in pink or red, and head to the movies or a concert together. Valentine’s Day isn’t always about love. It’s about spending quality time with someone you really like.

Whatever you do, DON’T GHOST your date leading up to Valentine’s Day. It’s just uncool, period.

Read: 10 Fun Valentine’s Date Ideas

Are you a fan or foe of Valentine’s Day?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert, on Instagram and Twitter, and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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Dating Resolutions You Can Really Keep

New Year's Resolutions

 

My how time flies!

It’s already the middle of January in 2017.  The V word is right around the corner, Valentine’s Day, the ‘Super Bowl ‘of dating.

For those who made New Year’s resolutions, if they included joining a gym, losing weight, dating again or finding love, here’s some wise dating advice to add to your list that we know you can really keep.

1. I will create a NEW online dating profile.

If you’ve tried dating sites without success, guess what? You’ve got a lousy profile. Whether you decide to hire a dating coach to hold your hand or take on the task on your own, it’s time to say out with the old, in with the new. Your stale profile needs a digital facelift to attract your dream date.

2. I will log on EVERY morning before work and EVERY night before going to sleep.

If you can find an hour a day to call your BFFs to talk about your day, or your empty date card, you have time to log on twice so your profile shows you are active and for you to write to and respond to potential dates.

3. I will ACCEPT three dates a week and will stop looking for perfection.

Going on a date doesn’t mean you’ll be walking down the aisle with your date or merging bank accounts. It’s just a date; a meet-and-greet. The more you date, the better dater you will become. So if someone has 50% of what you’re looking for, agree to go on a date. Who knows? He or she just might become a new friend or might have someone else for you if there’s no romantic connection. Fill your date card (less than 50% of the week) by scheduling three dates. Coffee, lunch, drinks, you name it.

RELATED: Moving From Best Friends to In a Relationship

4. I will go out on TWO dates with each person.

Say goodbye to one-and-done dating and hello to meeting new and exciting people. We believe that everyone deserve a second chance. First dates can make many nervous. In fact some people change locations in the same night (dinner somewhere and dessert elsewhere) just to say they’ve gone on two dates. The goal of your first date should be to keep it light and simple and SCHEDULE a second date on the calendar.

5. I will search and write to TEN people a day. Before you shoot the messenger, you should know that by writing to ten people, you might only get one reply. Remember, not everyone is logging on at the same time, some go on vacation, and others are dating multiple people. It’s not unusual for someone to thank you for your email, but to tell you they’ve met one person and want to see where it goes. The only way to be successful is to be PROACTIVE. That means ladies can write to men, so toss out the old rules. Men will be flattered to hear from you, because they are writing to a lot of women and many don’t write back.

Related: Dating Netiquette: Why Grammar Matters

Think of dating and finding the perfect match for you like looking for a job. You won’t stop searching for a job when you’re out of work, even after three bad interviews or no replies. The same goes with dating. If you’re looking for love, you need to put in the effort to win the digital love lottery.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Photo credit: Fotolia

Our Irresistible Profiles Coaching programs come in a variety of levels, from Going Steady, a profile critique to Totally in Love, with a brand new profile and 30 days of unlimited text/email support, to our VIP Digital Matchmaker plan for the most serious of singles, which includes a new profile and 10 private coaching sessions.

So get out of fear mode, stop ghosting, stop swiping without meeting IRL, and come to the digital party with all the tools you need for a happy and loving 2017.

If you need some help in getting started with your online dating profile, contact us and we’ll help you create that IRRESISTIBLE Profile to help you stand out among the millions of online daters.

Julie Spira is a dating coach and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. She’s a finalist for Best Dating Coach in the 2017 iDate Awards. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com and sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter, where you’ll also be able to download for free the 7 Secrets to Finding Love Online.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for Dating Advice

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