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Tinder’s New Panic Button Will Help Singles Date Safely

Tinder/Noonlight Panic Feature

Dating app Tinder just announced a new safety feature which can be added to users’ profiles to report an unsafe dating experience in real-time.

The Match-owned Tinder app has partnered with Noonlight, where they will implement a separate feed for you to share your location on a timeline while on a date. With this feature, if you are in danger, you can hit the panic button, and confirm that you need help. This will alert local authorities to check up on you.

With dating safety and privacy being of great concern to daters, having this badge on your profile will alert a potential date to let them know you expect a safe dating experience.

Before you head out on your date, you’ll be able to add details of your plans, which will appear in your Tinder timeline. According to Match’s announcement, you’ll be able to represent that you could be in danger secretly by pushing a panic button.

This new feature will launch in January, first on Tinder, and then is expected to be added to other Match-owned sites.

However, If your date doesn’t look like their profile photos, or you don’t have chemistry, politely leave the date early, and thank them for their time. In cases like these, there’s no need to panic.

RELATED: Tinder’s Panic Button is Here to Help You Swipe Safely

Tinder’s Panic Button is Here to Help You Swipe Safely
I’m thrilled to learn of this big step to help singles feel safe on a date. It will be simple to report a severe or dangerous problem should it arise, and you can be assured, help will be on its way.

Julie Spira is an Award-Winning Dating Coach, and America’s Top Online Dating Expert. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter

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Julie Spira on People – Expert Tips for Staying Safe Online

Online dating is the easiest way to fill your date card, with almost 40% of couples who say they’ve met online.

With the opportunity to meet so many new people, when you don’t have friends in common, how can you make sure that you’ll be dating safely?

On People, I weighed in with several tips on dating safety. Here’s a short excerpt. To read the full article, click here

How do you know a potential date is real? 

“I think one of the first red flags is about the photo,” Spira says. “If there are no photos, it’s a red flag. If there is only one photo, and they look like a hot model, it’s a red flag.”

In the “predate phase,” Spira tells her clients to use Facebook and Instagram accounts to find mutual friends.

If there are friends and followers in common, “You can then ask your friend if they really know this person to get a digital thumbs up or down before actually accepting a date,” Spira says.

What If They Won’t Meet IRL?

“The point of dating online is actually meeting in person,” Spira says. “It’s not to have a digital pen pal. So, if somebody is canceling or postponing and not making plans to meet IRL, it’s a real problem.”

Where Should You Meet For a First Date?

When it comes to scheduling a first date, you should always meet in a public place. Let a friend know who you’re meeting, and exactly when and where. If you feel uncomfortable for any reason, get up and leave.

There’s nothing more important than being safe on a date, and all of us in the dating industry take safety seriously. If you feel unsafe for any reason, it’s easy to report the person’s profile to the dating app.

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we put safety first. You can read our other safety articles here:

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. Julie’s been coaching singles on finding love online for 25 years. Visit CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice, and Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

 

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Good Day LA – Julie Spira on Online Dating Safety

As part of online safety week, Online Dating Expert Julie Spira sat down with Vanessa Borge on Good Day LA to teach singles how to date safely online.

With over 50 million singles using mobile dating apps and looking for love online, a question that is always asked is, “How safe is online dating?”

When the FBI reports 18,000 plus cases of problems, should you be concerned?

As a guest on Good Day LA, I explained that every issue and report is a concern, and all of us in the dating industry take dating safety seriously.

RELATED: How to Spot a Fake Dating Profile

In fact, a new research study from Stanford and the University of New Mexico showed that almost 40% of couples met online, which is double the amount of couples who met through friends at 20%, and significantly higher than couples who met in a bar, at 6%.

So what are the best safety tips?

Don’t leave the dating app quickly to communicate, as it’s safer and easier to track conversations.

Use my Digital Thumbs Up or Down Rule – Check your date’s social media profiles to see if you have friends in common.

You’re only as good as your worst photo. Red flags include a profile without a photo, or one where the photos look too good to be true, like a model or someone standing in front of a fancy car.

Don’t give personal information about where you work and live in case the date goes south.

Report any suspicious profiles to the dating apps.

Open your heart, but don’t open your wallet.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating, and has been coaching singles on finding love online for 25 years.

For more information on Julie’s Irresistible Profiles, click here.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Social Media

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How to Verify Your Bumble Profile

BUMBLE GET VERIFIED

There’s a great feature on the Bumble dating app that allows you to verify your profile, by taking a selfie that matches their model’s pose on the app.

Verification features help singles date safely and help everyone feel comfortable about authenticity in dating.

Bumble had announced the photo verification feature on the Beehive Blog in 2017, to help prevent catfishing, but now they’ve taken it a step further. If you failed the simple photo verification test, or if you’ve been reported by another user as a potential fake member, your profile might not remain active until you retake it.

Since we feel strongly about dating safety, as do the online dating sites and mobile dating apps, we believe this added step from Bumble is essential. Plus, how can someone find you if you have a hidden profile?

Here are the simple steps to get verified on Bumble.

1. Open the Bumble app on your mobile phone. You’ll have the opportunity to use one of three services, Bumble Date, or the original Bumble, Bumble BFF to find new friends and to go into social networking mode, and Bumble Bizz, to grow your business like you would on Linkedin.

Bumble Date

2. Look for the Get Verified Button

Get Verified - bumble

3. If you failed the verification test, you’ll get this pop up notification when you log on, so it’s time to try it again.

Bumble Verification

4. Strike a Pose to Match their model’s pose. It’s typically one where you’re waving your hand up to say hello and send the photo to Bumble. The Bumble team actually has a real person who verifies that your photo looks similar the ones you’ve added to your profile.

Bumble verification

 

 

 

5. You’re now verified! Your Bumble profile will appear in searches, so get ready to swipe to find someone special to meet IRL.

Bumble Get Verified

If you need help with your Bumble profile, find out how our Swiping Right mobile dating profiles can help you find a date, a friend, or a business contact through the convenience of your mobile phone.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

 

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How to Spot a FAKE Dating Profile

Julie Spira Fox Los Angeles

Recently, I was a guest on FOX 11, Los Angeles, in a special feature about people grabbing photos from the Internet and creating a dating profiles on mobile apps and online dating sites.

While this happens, it’s really in the minority of profiles. Still, if you see a hunky model’s photo on a message to you, here’s how to tell if he or she is real.

After watching the video, scroll down to see a sample email that was sent (in bulk) on an online dating site to many users. If you find one like this, don’t reply. Report it as suspicious to the dating site, because they take dating safety seriously, and so do we!

RELATED: Here’s How to Tell Your Date You’re Not Interested Without Ghosting

Photo Swapping on Dating Profiles

In my interview with Susan Hirasuna, I explained the following:

“Julie Spira literally wrote the book on cyber-dating.”
               
“She says, the number one complaint is that people show up for the first date and they don’t look like their profile photos.  

“In the case of Emanuel, she theorizes he may be socially awkward or just needs an ego boost by matching with women on the dating apps.”

“Having the opportunity to chat with someone to boost your ego, if you’re looking like someone they might want to go out with. It’s a game and it’s really a sad game, because you’re really tugging at digital heart strings,” Spira told me.”

“She said, those with the photo swaps likely have no intention in meeting their dating app matches.”

RELATED: 10 Dating Safety Tips

The Suspicious Email

On a popular online dating site, this email has been floating around.

Note the following red flags:

  1. There’s it’s not personalized. “Hi there” doesn’t list your screen name or name.
  2. The writer claims to be in the military, which is a common sign.
  3. The writer claims he is financially stable, something that will attract a woman.
  4. He wants to communicate OFF the dating site and offers an email account and asks for yours.

Hi there,

My name is John and I think your profile looks amazing as It feels great to meet someone who has a positive outlook at life and still looking to find the right one. I am a loving, kind and successful man who is still looking to find the right match.  I’m a senior personnel working with the United States Military and would be retired in a couple months. I am secure, own my homes and financially stable. I have lived a great life with the exception of having that special someone to make memories with as life is full of beautiful memories. I believe life’s adventures are better when shared with someone special and would really love to get past the introduction part and get to know each other personally. I would prefer to communicate via email as I don’t come on here often. You can leave me an email on johnyoung23555@gmail.com  or leave yours as we seem to be on here at different times.  It would be refreshing to get to know each other and see how much we share in common and where it could possibly lead. Would look forward to read from you.

Warmly.
John

While John may indeed be a real person, he won’t brag about his money, be unavailable whenever you are logged on, and won’t immediately ask to communicate off the site.

If you receive an email like this, you can ignore it or report it, but be careful about falling in love from your computer screen with someone who has never appeared to have read your profile.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles dating services. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and was the recipient of the 2017 Best Dating Coach of the Year Award.

For dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

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Julie Spira Talks to KABC TV With 10 Dating Safety Tips

Everyday can be like Valentine’s Day, since dating and love never go out of style.

A huge thank you to KABC TV in Los Angeles for having me on Eyewitness News to share 10 of my dating safety tips. It’s my goal to help you date safely 365 days out of the year. Keep in mind, most daters have good intentions, but to be safe, follow these rules.

Some of the online dating safety tips include:

  • Facetime, Skype and/or Phone Date – Use technology to make sure you’re not dating a “bot” and to pass the phone chemistry test.
  • Visit Linkedin and Facebook  – See if you have friends in common and ask them to give you the digital thumbs up or thumbs down on your mutual connection.
  • Be Careful of the Country Dates or Emails from a Military – While I know a man from Los Angeles who married a woman from Paris, if someone contacts you from out of the country, use video chat to make sure they are real and check their punctuation. If someone from the military has a sob story and asks you for money, report them to the dating site.

RELATED: 10 SAFEST CITIES IN THE U.S. FOR ONLINE DATING

  • Saying “I Love You” Too Soon – Some people use those three little words that will make you swoon, but if you haven’t met, how can you really be in love? Sure they “get you,” but if they are mirroring your profile and you think they’re too good to be true, perhaps they are.
  • Meet in a Public Place – While it seems logical to meet in a public place, often someone will invite you to their place to “hang out” or “netflix and chill.” All first dates must be in a public place and let a friend know where you’re going and the screen/profile name of your date.

KABC Dating Safety Tips

  • Don’t Get in Anyone’s Car – While it’s chivalrous to be picked up at home, tell your date if they offer to do so, that you’d like to save that for the second or third date.
  • No Late Night Dates – With mobile apps, you can meet someone almost instantly 24 hours a day. If someone suggests a first date after 9pm, take a pass. That screams “booty call” and you don’t know if someone else was the dinner date, while you’re becoming dessert.
  • Don’t Sext Before Meeting – A Match Study showed that 34% of singles are actually having sex BEFORE they meet.  Millennials up that number to 48%! Remember, anything you text can be shared and if it doesn’t work out, chances are it will. My rule of thumb is, if you don’t want your parents, children, or boss to see your text, then don’t push the send button.
  • Let Google Be Your Best Friend – With my dating coaching programs, I conduct a Google search for email addresses, photos, and phone numbers. While I don’t believe in kissing and telling, I also don’t believe in googling and telling. Sneak a peek and be a cyber-sleuth and if something seems very off, cancel the date.
  • Limit Your Drinking on a First Date – If you’re out for dinner or drinks and are having a great time, instead of ordering a second drink or going home, order a club soda instead. Getting intoxicated on a date could lead to problems you might regret in the morning.

RELATED: Online Dating Expert Julie Spira Named Best Dating Coach at iDate Awards

Remember, how you act offline when meeting someone new is the same as how you should act online. Be safe and enjoy the ride.

Happy dating and I wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

LIKE us on Facebook!

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10 Tips to Stay Safe while Dating Online

dating safetyOnline dating is a great way to meet new people and to actually fall in love.

A recent Match Singles in America Survey of over 5000 singles revealed that 53% of singles have created a dating profile. The survey also showed that 81% of singles are looking for romantic love and we want you to find it, safely.

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we love helping singles find love online. As a matter of face, I’ve been coaching singles for 23 years now, sine online dating was in its infancy. We also want YOU to feel safe while on a date, and know that dating sites take safety seriously and provide tips that you should know before you open your heart and potentially your wallet.

Here are some dating safety tips to remember before you head out to meet your digital crush.

  • Have a facetime or skype chat, or at least talk on the phone before you meet IRL. While someone may look great in a profile, until you hear the sound of their voice, you won’t know for sure if the person is a neighbor or a bot. I call this pre-dating and if you’re comfortable on the phone, chances are you’ll have a good experience on the date.
  • Find out if you have friends in common. These days it’s so easy to see if you have friends in common on Facebook or Instagram. If so, reach out to your pals to see if you can get the thumbs up or down on your potential date.
  • Watch out for suitors from out of the country or in the military. A popular romance scam is one where the person is writing to you from another country. Sure I know of people from the U.S. who fell in love with someone from Paris and they lived happily ever after, but if someone is stationed someone out of the country, they might ask you for money for a plane ride to visit you. While there’s a song, “I love a Man in a Uniform,” don’t fall prey to requests for money.
  • Be careful if someone says “I love you” too soon. Until you meet in person, you have nothing more than a digital pen pal. Those whose intentions aren’t sincere will want you to fall in love with them immediately. They may say, “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.” Before you change your relationship status, know this is a common ploy to potentially get yo to send them a wire transfer when they have a sudden emergency. After all, they love you, right?
  • Meet in a public place. Whether it’s a dog park, coffee bar, or a happy hour, NEVER meet your date at his or her house. Your first few dates should be in a public place, where there’s activity going on.
  • Don’t get into anyone’s car. If your date asks you for a nightcap elsewhere, you’re pretty much getting into a car with a stranger. Until you get to know them better, take your own car or public transportation, where you can leave if you feel the need to do so.
  • No late night dates (after 10p). This should go without saying, but it screams booty call. You have no idea what other dates he or she had that night, but 10p, means you’re dessert and it’s not a proper date. Just say no and suggest something in the daytime.
  • Don’t sext before ever meeting. The match survey showed that millennials are 48% more likely to have had sex, than other age groups before they ever met their date. I call it digital foreplay, but if you’re sexting big time with someone you haven’t met, the expectation of having sex on the first date will be very high. Go ahead and flirt on text messages and have fun, but leave your clothes on.
  • Let Google become your best friend.  Be careful of photos that look too good to be true. Do a Google search for your date’s email address, phone number, and upload their dating profile photos to Google image reverse search. If they seem sketchy, cancel your date. If things match up, go out and enjoy your date.
  • Limit the drinking on a first date. Alcohol can blur your judgment and having that second drink just might result in a late night booty call or put you in a dangerous situation. If you’re meeting for drinks, limit your alcohol intake to one drink only. If the conversation is going well and you’re not ready to end the date,  order a club soda for your second drink.

If you feel that someone’s profile is suspicious, report the profile to the online dating site, who has your safety as a top priority while looking for love online.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

FOLLOW Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

SIGN UP for our FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online with her Irresistible Profiles programs for over 20 years. Julie’s the recent winner of the 2017 iDate Awards for Best Dating Coach and is the author of the bestseller The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and ranks as the most influential person in social media in “dating” and “online dating.”

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10 Safest States in the U.S. for Online Dating

10 safest states for online datingWith Valentine’s around the corner, a question I’m asked frequently is, “How safe is online dating?”

As an online dating expert who constantly teaches dating safety tips, I was pleased to see that highspeedinternet.com (HSI) and SafeWise, combined their efforts and did a deep dive into online dating safety, state-by-state to come up with a list of the safest and most dangerous states to be swiping right to look for a sweetheart.

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we believe that vetting your dates online can be safer than curling up at a bar with an intoxicated stranger. Therefore, each state is safe if you take the time to learn about someone and spot the red flags of those who might not be sincere.

At the end of the digital day, we say date online in all states and countries and cast a wide net, while selecting wisely.

Here’s their list of the safest places to find a digital sweetheart.

Top 10 Safest States to Date Online

  1. Vermont
  2. Maine
  3. New Hampshire
  4. Utah
  5. Idaho
  6. Wyoming
  7. West Virginia
  8. Connecticut
  9. Minnesota
  10. New Jersey

Their research included, crime, sex education, STDs.

On the downside, this report included a list of the 10 states they felt were more dangerous for digital daters.

  1. D.C.
  2. Alaska
  3. Louisiana
  4. New Mexico
  5. Nevada
  6. South Carolina
  7. Arkansas
  8. Tennessee
  9. North Carolina
  10. Alabama

For more dating safety tips, we recommend reading these articles.

RELATED: A Catfish Tale: Reelin’ Them In

RELATED: Online Dating Tips From an Expert

RELATED: From ‘Catfishing’ to Online Dating Tips: Julie Spira Speaks to Charles Tendell

RELATED: Badoo’s Selfie Feature May Prevent a Catfish

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. Julie’s been called the “Pioneer of Online Dating” and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a H0peful Romantic Looking for Love Online and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene.

For dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and LIKE us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

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Badoo’s Selfie Feature May Prevent a Catfish

Selfie dating

Selfies. Love them, love them not.

While selfies aren’t your best photos to appear on your online dating profile, your potential dates do want to know exactly who you are and if you resemble your profile pictures.

For this reason, our friends at Badoo have created a new feature in their mobile dating app called the “Selfie Request.”

According to their press release, the new selfie feature allows women to request a photo from a male user after they have received an initial message to confirm that their potential match is genuine and using a real photo. From there, a male user can either send the requested selfie or decline.

Women who come to us for Irresistible Profiles and Dating Coaching are fearful at times that the date will be like someone they’ve viewed on MTV’s ‘Catfish,’ or their potential date will be misrepresenting themselves in some way. While we believe online dating is mostly safe for both men and women, any feature that adds comfort to the process is one where we’ll give a thumbs up to!

A Pew Internet Research survey showed that over 54 percent of online daters have felt that someone misrepresented themselves on their profile. So ladies, go ahead and request a selfie from a potential date.

Online and mobile dating safety is important to both men and women. Currently the selfie request feature is only available to women, but in time we hope they add the feature for men to use as well.

So request away and have fun with their new mobile app feature.

Guys, don’t decline the rest, or your chances of getting a date with her will be zero.

Are you using selfies on your dating profile?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram and sign up for our Free Weekly Flirt for dating advice.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s a bestselling author and as an early adopter of the Internet, has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Find out more about how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Photo credit: Fotolia

 

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A Catfish Tale – Reeling Them In

CatfishThere’s been a lot of talk about ‘Catfishing’ and we’ve been interviewed a lot about how frequently it can happen, what catfishing means, and how to spot a ‘Catfish.’

In this interview and deep dive into ‘Catfishing,’ I spoke with Jasmine Kianfard about why this trend is happening, along with MTV’s co-host of ‘Catfish,’ Max Joseph and my friend and cyber-security expert Alan Silberberg.

Watch the full interview here.

Excerpt

Jasmine: Julie Spira Cyber-Dating Expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating explains how the Internet now presents a sort of free for all.

Julie: “People feel like the Internet has become the “Wild, Wild, West and you can be anything you want t0 be. A woman can pose as a man, a man can pose as a woman.”

Jasmine: Social media is helping to expand this wild, wild west.

Julie: Social media is creating an environment where people have this false sense of being in a relationship when  they’re not.

Related: What’s the Buzz About Catfishing?

The most important thing I say to people is, “Don’t be a digital pen pal.” You’ve got to get offline to see if there’s offline chemistry. Otherwise you’re just flirting with someone and you’re getting a little high that you’re getting from that text message and the customized chirp from the love your life, but the love of your life may just be somebody sitting from behind a computer somewhere.

“For years the number one search term…every year at the end of the year Google puts out a list…is what is love?” says Julie Spira, Cyber-dating expert and author of “The Perils of Cyber-Dating.”

“If that’s the number one search term we know that the desire to be in love is so strong and powerful and if someone can come in and be that knight in white armor and that perfect princess and that dream girl, you get so caught up with being in love with love rather than meeting the person IRL (in real life),” says Spira.

Alan Silberberg talks about digital hygiene and says it’s almost like brushing your teeth and you’ll have less of a risk in having a problem.

Related: From Catfishing to to Online Dating Tips

Related: Is Your Date a Catfish?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades and is the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert.

For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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