It’s Thanksgiving week and many of you are headed to the airport or are packing your bags to visit friends, family, and loved ones.
Thanksgiving is an emotional time for many. It’s the big holiday leading up to even bigger holidays. The stores are filled with holiday ornaments and often we look for things that aren’t working in our lives.
Maybe your career isn’t on track. Maybe your relationship is uncertain. Maybe you’re suffering from a recent breakup or can’t get over an ex. All of these feelings and more are very real.
However, Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays of the year. There have been some Thanksgiving holidays that I wished I could stay under the covers. Yes, even the most positive person, myself, has had a few Thanksgivings that I’d like to forget.
Still, it’s a time to pause and think about those in your life. The memories that still bring a smile to your face, the possibilities of the future, and most importantly, think about living in the present right now. As I embark on a road trip to visit my family for Thanksgiving, I thought I’d share 12 things I’m grateful for this Thanksgiving and hope that you chime in with your gratitude list as well.
12 Things I’m Grateful for This Thanksgiving
- I’m spending it with my happily married parents.
- I have a huge girlfriend network online and IRL, who I consider my extended family.
- I have a boyfriend, who I adore, who gets me and is the love of my life.
- I live in a beautiful place; Silicon Beach near the Pacific in sunny California.
- I enjoy daily walks around boats and water and watch sunsets over the Pacific.
- I have helped so many singles find love and have been responsible for many marriages.
- I’m friends with many of my ex’s and we think of each other fondly.
- I work out with an amazing trainer to keep my mind, body, and soul all in shape.
- I’m building a multi-media empire about dating, love, and romance.
- Cyber-Dating Expert has become a top online dating advice site in the world!
- I’m getting ready to release the audio book version of my first book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and have an amazing producer!
- I stay true to my heart and true to my soul and always come from a genuine place of authenticity.
All in all, I’m healthy, happy, and live in the moment to make each moment special. That, my friends is a priceless feeling.
Gratitude can change your day, your moments and add more joy to your life. So grab your gratitude journal or start one day. Sneak a note into your wish pillow. Create a vision board for your life. Know that the possibilities are endless!
What are you grateful for today?
Please take a moment and make your list. You might be surprised at the results.
On this Thanksgiving, I wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for Dating Advice
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So how does a single person enjoy this fun and flirty holiday? I believe that Halloween gives you permission to jump out of your comfort zone and become more approachable. Besides the youthful trick-or-treaters ringing your doorbell, singles’ holiday parties are in abundance. I suggest you RSVP to as many as possible, grab a few friends and go out with a smile on your face, along with a devilish grin.
Be dare and be bold and post a picture of you and post it on your Tinder or online dating profile in costume and change your profile bio to “Trick or Treat!”
A recent Glamour article says to wear RED if you’re looking for LOVE and wear YELLOW if you’re looking for FUN and to be the life of the party; and it’s backed up by research!
In preparation for Halloween, it’s also a good time to brush up on your flirting skills. Dr. Pat Allen, author of “Getting to I Do” and one of my mentors, teaches the 5-second flirt technique and encourages singles to flirt with 5 men every day and gaze into their eyes for five very long seconds. Although it’s a challenge and may seem like an eternity, on Halloween it should be a piece of cake, or at least a handful of candy corn.
Let’s start with selecting your sexy Halloween costume. Although you wouldn’t dress like this on a first date, you now have permission to show some skin without the expectation of jumping into the bedroom. Here are four favorites to choose from.
1. The Cheerleader. What guy didn’t fantasize about being with a cheerleader in high school? Now’s his chance with this sexier version guaranteed to put a smile on his face.
2. The French Maid. This class Halloween costume never goes out of style. Now’s your chance to flirt with him with your duster in tow. Who knows just where he might be ticklish?
3. Queen of Hearts. Poker night will never be the same after he sees you in this Queen of Hearts outfit. Approach him and make a bet. See if he ups the ante.
4. The Devil: What can we say, except that Red will attract the men, big time. If you’re looking for love, grab this cute red Halloween costume and add red fishnet stockings and patent leather heels and you’re ready to go!
Don’t forget to bring your camera or SmartPhone and set your camera settings to movie. Go up to that cute guy and compliment him on his costume and ask if you can take his photo. Better yet, jump into the shot and have your friend take a picture of you and that hot guy. Then ask him if you can friend him on Facebook or post the photos to Instagram.
Remember to memorialize your Halloween festivities videos on Vine, Instagram, or YouTube and upload your photos to Facebook. Go ahead and tag him if he agrees. He’ll be flattered that you took the time to do so.
Julie Spira is an online dating and relationship expert and author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com where you can sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and share your dating stories. Follow her on Twitter @JulieSpira and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert
I’m excited to share that my friend Marni Battista selected me as one of 12 dating experts for her three-day free teleclass.
On Friday, October 23, 2015 at 3pm/PT (6p/ET), I’ll be sharing my secrets for finding love online and will be joined by my other esteemed colleagues Carol Allen, Jonathan Aslay, and Adam Gilad for an amazing afternoon of free dating advice to help you become more irresistible to men.
To sign up for the telecall, click here.
My LIVE training is going to cover “Online and On Top: Online Dating Do’s and Don’ts for the Smart, Successful Woman” and will be this Friday at 3pm. You definitely don’t want to miss it!
Plus as an added bonus, if you sign up today, Marni will give you her free bestselling book, Becoming Irresistible as a free gift. Quite exciting, right?
I’m going to be revealing new insight and techniques I’ve never told anyone from my 20+ years of being an online dating expert, and am going to hand you specific steps in order to amplify your attraction factor so that you attract the right guy for you.
You can check out the amazing line-up when you >> download the FREE book. <<
If you really want to create an undeniable magnetic attraction and devotion between you and any man that lasts forever…
I can’t wait for you to join in at 3pm/pt today to hear all of my secrets from 20 years over coaching singles on how to find love online.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.
It’s an honor and joy to announce that Dr. Gary Penn has invited me, along with Shannon Colleary to his LIVE PODCAST event in Los Angeles on Wednesday, October 21, 2015.
If you’re struggling to find a great relationship or are trying to get out of a dead-end one, this event is for you.
For only $25 you’ll receive:
Wine, nibbles and a great interactive coaching workshop with Dr. Penn and his guests: Life Coach Shannon Colleary and myself, Julie Spira, America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker!
We’ll be fielding audience questions, (anonymously, due to the podcast) which will serve as “mini” sessions for the entire group.
Dr. Penn has certainly walked the walk. He has learned a great deal in his quest to find a loving and connecting relationship. He knows how difficult it is to find “the one”. He is committed to increasing your odds!
He brings not only his clinical knowledge to this workshop, but also his personal experience to help you work on the self-awareness and emotional availability necessary to find and sustain a loving, healthy relationship.
He’ll help you achieve a state of psychological awareness while teaching you his unique communication and dating skills.
Life Coach Shannon Colleary, best known for her “Asshat Recovery Program” articles on The Huffington Post, is an expert in helping her clients break their addiction to toxic relationships.
Like Dr. Penn, Shannon has walked-the-walk to recovery, ending her last toxic relationship by using steps inspired by the 12-step programs. After which, Shannon attracted a loving, stable, funny man she’s been married to for fifteen years.
And now she’s helping her clients to do the same thing.
Plus, I’ll be there live and on the podcast as well.
Here’s a bio for me:
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and is a frequent guest in the media, having appeared in over 650 news stories on the intersection of love and technology. She was named the “Pioneer of Online Dating” by Cosmo and was listed in the Top 10 Dating Advice Columnists to Follow on Twitter.” Her Irresistible Profiles programs have helped millions of singles speed up their search to find love online. Julie will be discussing the 7 Secrets to Finding Love Online and will help demystify the cryptic text messages that women and men send to each other.
Here are some results you can expect from this 3-hour workshop:
- You’ll discover why you’re attracted to certain types of people; i.e. emotionally troubled, unavailable people, or people who want to quickly fall in “love” and fuse with you.
- You’ll leave with actionable tasks to break your addiction to a toxic relationship, if you’re in one.
- You’ll have a new skill set to approach dating.
- You will have all the secrets of how to approach online dating.
You’ll have clarity about what you really want and need and how to appropriately convey that when dating someone new.
Who this workshop is for:People who are motivated to make a change in their lives with this kind of attitude:
- “Enough is enough! Tomorrow doesn’t have to be like today. I can change!”
- “I can take control of my life instead of constantly feeling disappointed and hopeless!”
- “I can identify my psychological blind spots and learn new and highly functional ways of connecting.”
“It’s time for me to stand tall and move forward with confidence and optimism.”
Who this workshop isn’t for:
- People who are invested in staying in the victim role.
- People who aren’t willing to take responsibility for their choices and their life.
- People who blame others for their hopelessness and misery.
- People who want to continually live in the past, which keeps them from fulfillment in the present.
That Bat time and Bat channel again? Wednesday Oct. 21st from 7-10 p.m.
The Roc Center, 607 Arizona Ave. Santa Monica, Ca. Between 6th and 7th street, one-block north of Santa Monica Blvd. (310) 450-ROCK (7625).
How big is this event?
We can only take 90 people.
Can men come too?
Yes, this is a co-ed event.
Do I have to talk?
We would suggest that you ask all of your burning questions. However you’re not obligated to speak. You can absolutely learn a lot just by listening to what other people ask and the responses they receive.
FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice.
We’re jumping for joy at Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters as October is our Anniversary month. of the launch of CyberDatingExpert.com. It’s been 7 amazing years of providing online dating advice for singles looking for love online and on their mobile on phones on our site.
As a special surprise, I’ve been in Hollywood in the studio for weeks recording the audio book version of my bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating. The exciting part is we’ve added a surprise Epilogue to the book that will warm your heart. Beware, some who have seen and heard a sneak preview have gotten teary-eyed with this new ending. Take a look at the behind the scenes photos below.
Plus! We’ve added some fun and new BONUS audio dating tips on how to date on Tinder and other mobile apps, as well as other flirty dating tips to help speed up your search. These are not included in the print edition, so keep an eye our for our release date!
I’m grateful for my amazing producer Jeff Davis who is still in post-production on the project and all I can say is WOW! Thank you from the bottom of my digital heart. Turning lemons into digital lemonade has been an amazing journey and touching the lives of singles worldwide has been a complete joy. Reading the book again was a very emotional experience. I had to stop a few times and reflect on my romantic journey, while sipping tea and honey to keep my voice going for 15 hours!
Many thanks to my friends on Facebook, who after crowdsourcing a handful of book covers designed by the lovely Megan Johnson, it was almost a unanimous vote for the book cover in this post with the gold seal. While some authors don’t like to read their own books, I felt strongly about having my voice heard in this memoir, plus I spent years in radio on-the-air and as a voice-over announcer, so I’ve been trained in radio. I hope you’ll like the final audio book as much as I do and that it will help you on your journey to finding your true love.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter
It’s an honor and joy to share with you that my friend and bestselling author Ken Page will be hosting a free tele-seminar on Wednesday, March 25th at 5:30pm/PT, 8:30pm/ET.
If you don’t yet know Ken, he’s a renowned psychotherapist, nationally syndicated columnist and the bestselling author of Deeper Dating: How to Drop The Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy, of which I contributed to the section on online dating in his book.
Ken believes that the magic and aliveness of our essential self is the bullet train to healthy love, transforming our dating life from an arduous process of too many dead end connections into a soulful, deep and exciting process of discovering self and “other.”
Ken’s focus won’t be on fixing yourself to find love, but rather on honoring and
expressing your innate gifts — and his groundbreaking concepts and techniques are all backed by solid research.
This is life-changing work. I have been personally very moved by the authenticity and wisdom of Ken’s teachings.
I hope to “see” you there! It’s FREE to attend and you’ll receive a recording if you can’t listen live as well.
Sign up here and claim your free seat. I just did!
As always, I wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo
There was nothing down about anyone in our Post-Valentine’s Blues themed #DateChat this week.
Our timeline deliveries hit over 7 million with a reach of over 1.2 million on Twitter. We’re having fun spreading the love and our guest host, “Deeper Dating” author Ken Page @KenPageLCSW jumped in to answer your questions about exclusivity, how long to wait before getting naked with your date, and why playing hard to get isn’t a good strategy while looking for love.
We learned what “The Wave” is in a relationship, where you like someone, they like you and are emotionally available. Sound good? Well not really, because someone loses interest when it’s too goo. Find out why you shouldn’t flee when it happens.
We’re posting our Storify with some top tweets and the transcript below.
Join us again on Thursday, February 26th at 5p/PT, 8p/ET with our hot topic of emotional cheating. If you’re sweetie is sending texts, Facebook messages and tweets, is it just flirting, or is it stirring up too many emotions? Can this emotional cheating lead to a relationship on the side? Has this happened to you?
We’ll dig deeper on this emotional topic.
Many thanks as always to #DadChat founder and host @BruceSallan for chiming in and spreading the news about #DateChat.
TRANSCRIPT OF #DATECHAT FOR 2/19/2015
Join us for #DateChat on Thursday, February 19th at 5p/PT, 8p/ET with guest host Ken Page, author of the new book, Deeper Dating.
Ken will be discussing his new theories of finding love and successful dating that ditch the old school thought of looking prettier and playing hard to get.
It was an honor and joy to contribute to the online dating section of Ken’s new book.
He’ll also be giving away 2 FREE copies of his bestselling book to some lucky #DateChat participants.
If you’re Valentine’s Day was so-so or you were dateless, you won’t want to miss this week’s #DateChat.
Ready, Set, Tweet!
Two of the most important days of the year for men and women respectively are Super Bowl Sunday and Valentine’s Day. This weekend is sacred for most American men. It’s showtime, as most guys count down the days, hours, and even minutes to their favorite television day of the year, Super Bowl Sunday.
As we countdown to Super Bowl XLIX in Arizona, whether you’re rooting for the Seattle Seahawks again or the New England Patriots, one thing is for sure, it’s going to be an emotional and exciting two weeks for both men and women alike. Whether you’re a sports fan or a hopeless romantic, comparing the two will help you understand how important these days are for the opposite sex.
Some questions I always hear from women are, “Do men hate Valentine’s?” Guys want to know, “Do women really love the Super Bowl halftime show, or do they show up enthusiastically to meet men or to pretend to like sports with them?
I’ve gone on record as saying the Valentine’s Day for Women is like the Super Bowl for Men.
These two calendar days are about two weeks apart, so enjoy the ride. Guys, don’t wait until the last minute to invite the object of your affection or digital crush out for Valentine’s Day. Ladies, if you’re single, do find a Super Bowl party to go to or make a reservation at a sports bar to enjoy the day.
Meanwhile, across the hall or on your mobile phone, women have their own favorite holiday to think about, Valentine’s Day.
Why do I think the Super Bowl for men is like Valentine’s Day for women? Quite simply, both men and women put all of their emotional energies into these two bigger-than-life events. Often, a woman doesn’t understand why watching two teams trying to score is so important to her guy. He just can’t miss this game. Guys on the other hand, simply don’t understand that if you’re dating a woman and forget to plan something, just anything for Valentine’s Day, you probably won’t get a date with her on February 15th, or anytime thereafter.
Men wait all year for the Super Bowl, this big day in television. Women wait for Valentine’s Day with the hope that their special guy will either propose, offer to take his online dating profile down, or say ‘I love you’ for the first time. Women even secretly hope that the guy they are dating might want to change his Facebook status from ‘Single’ to ‘In a Relationship.’
Men are very prepared for the Super Bowl. They decide which venue and with whom they would like to spend watching the big game. In January, many women start giving little hints about their favorite romantic restaurants, hoping their guy will take the cue and book a reservation before the venue becomes full.
However in contrast, when a man’s favorite team loses the Super Bowl, he will be disappointed but will get over it. He’ll know there’s another chance next year and will spend the entire football season rooting for his team. If a woman’s favorite beau or someone she is dating doesn’t ask her out for Valentine?s Day, she won’t get over it. She’ll assume he’s romancing another woman and will know she’s not on the top of his list. Chances are, his shelf life as her number one guy will immediately expire. Unless he’s out of town on business or in a long-distance relationship, he won’t get another chance to romance her. No woman wants to be at the bottom of the totem pole, especially on Valentine’s Day. Expect to be unfriended, or don’t be surprised if she doesn’t return your phone calls or texts.
So whether you like football or not, love or hate Valentine’s Day, remember to talk to the person you are dating about what these days mean to you. If you’re single, use this opportunity to accept all invitations for both the Super Bowl and Valentine’s singles mixers. Even if your team loses and you’re dateless on the 14th, you’ll be casting a wider net and expanding your social circle.
Go ahead and accept that Super Bowl party invitation. If you’re single, you just might find a date in time for Valentine’s as well. It’s a win-win for everyone. If you need help with your profile or online dating advice, our special 15 Magic Minutes is going on through Valentine’s Day.
Which team will you be rooting for this Super Bowl?
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and has been helping singles find love on the Internet for 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles coaching programs. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for our Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
Love never goes out of style, but did you know the entire month of August is National Romance Awareness Month?
We’re so delighted to announce that Cyber-Dating Expert has teamed up with ProFlowers to make your life a bit more romantic month in our Romance and Roses Giveaway.
We’ll be giving three lucky winners 2-dozen roses at the end of August.
Just follow the instructions below to enter to win these lovely roses.
PLUS ProFlowers is hosting a Love is a Journey contest and will be sending a lucky couple to Europe for 18 days! Comment on our blog and upload a photo of what romance means to you on Twitter or Instagram using the hashtag #LoveIsAJourney and #ProFlowersSweeps for a chance to win an 18-day European cruisetour from Pro Flowers.
This giveaway offer is valid in the continental United States for adults 18+.
Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice.