Dear Julie,
I’ve read your post, Dating Advice: Are we Dating or Just Hanging Out? and I want to ask you about my relationship situation.
My best friend and I just admitted we have feelings for each other. We have discussed what would happen if we did have a relationship and that we’ll remain best friends. He asked me what this makes us. I don’t know how to respond. I was going to say that we are just “us”. No labels just yet. I’m shy when it comes to relationships and I don’t really like other people knowing because I feel judged. I don’t want to call him my boyfriend yet and we aren’t “dating”. Are we just seeing each other?
Hi Autumn,
Some of the best relationship start as friends first, so you’re probably off to a good start.
There’s no need for a label until you start dating officially. Then you’re “dating.” Once you decide to become exclusive, it’s fair to say you’re “seeing each other.”
Eventually you might want to start calling him your boyfriend, but relationship labels don’t matter as much as feelings and if you’re on the same page.
A lot of people get hung up on having the DTR (Define the Relationship) talk and it can make or break a relationship if it happens at the wrong time.
Related: Dating Labels: Why Won’t He Call Me His Girlfriend?
As long as you have continuity in your relationship, keep communicating about your feelings, and are both happy with the pace, keep open to the possibilities of where it will lead. There’s no need to change your Facebook relationship status to make a big announcement. At some point, one of you might want it to become more serious than the other or you may just say you want to go back to friends. Time will tell.
I applaud you for admitting your true feelings and hope this relationship evolves into something that makes you both happy.
Keep me posted!
Julie
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Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been coaching singles on finding love for over two decades. For more dating advice, let’s stay social and FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Sign up for the FREE Digital Flirt newsletter to receive a copy of Swiping Right: How tot Find Love on Your Mobile Phone.
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Julie Spira is America's Top Online Dating Expert. She's an award-winning dating coach who's been helping singles find love online for 25+ years. Follow @JulieSpira on IG.
