Cyber-Dating Expert

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He’s Just Not That Into Me?


Like most other single women, I anxiously awaited for the movie release of the new film, He’s Just Not That Into You.

I arrived at the local theatre to find a sold-out crowd of mostly women with a few guys in tow that got dragged along to see a chick flick. ?I could have counted the number of men in the crowd on one single hand.

While I feel that both men and women can relate to the scenes in the film, I guess most men just didn’t want to be seen there on opening weekend.

The film hit home in a very hard way. ?First, Jennifer Aniston has a seven-year guy who was in love with her, but wouldn’t marry her. Ouch, I felt her pain and re-lived mine as my seven-year guy that I fondly referred to in my book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating as “The Love of My Life” also told me he didn’t need a piece of paper to prove how much he loved me. As she struggled with the fact that if she left him he could actually marry the next girl he met, I also had that same struggle before I ended the relationship with my seven-year guy. ?In my case my long-term love who claimed he just wasn’t ready, did marry another. ?Seven years after the break up with the seven-year guy we met accidentally at a coffee shop. While I was going through a painful divorce with the man I married on the rebound, he was boasting about how happily married he was. ?It hurt and the film hit home.

Both men and women have experienced the anxious feeling of waiting by the telephone for the special one to call, and the phone just doesn’t ring. ?It’s a rare soul who hasn’t felt that way at some point in their life. And staring at the computer screen waiting for a reply from the hot guy who wrote to you from an Internet dating site, while he cut and pasted the same email to several others, was worth a laugh. Just this past Valentine’s Day, I received a text message from someone I met online last year wishing me a “Happy Valentine’s Day.” I replied with a quick “thank you” and quickly received a response, you are welcome, Jenni. ?I replied with “Oops, wrong girl. My name is Julie.”

But the clincher for me was the statement from a man who wanted to score with the girl who told her, “I’m so crazy about you. I have never felt this way about a woman before.” ?It was those exact words that I heard from another beau, and I believed him. Unfortunately, that line was as familiar to him as a weekly manicure was to me. ?Apparently, I wasn’t the only recipient of those fond words and I secretly wondered, was he just not that into me??

In the end, there is always someone who may be a little bit more into you than you are to them, and vice versa. ?I had hoped I was the “exception to the rule” as did the girls in the film, but in the end, It’s still a complicated boy-girl thing.

Julie Spira is America's Top Online Dating Expert. She's an award-winning dating coach who's been helping singles find love online for 25+ years. Follow @JulieSpira on IG.

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