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Is 3-Months Really the New 3-Date Rule for Sex?


When you say you are going on a third date, quite often the men will smile and say, “Ah, the third date. It must be the sex-date.” Women typically respond with, “You need to wait until 6 dates, 10 dates, or a month before ending up naked with your new guy.”

But has the outdated 3-date rule been replaced by the newer 3-month rule? On my recent Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert?radio show, America’s Love Experts Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal said, absolutely so. Tamsen believes in the 90-day rule as people are meeting faster with online dating, and you need to get to an emotional bond which will last longer. Her husband, Matt Titus claims that after 6 months the physical bond can fizzle out. On the program, he added that the “lure of sex” is more powerful than the actual “acts of sex.”

This also comes at a time when Steve Harvey’s book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment, which was released in January 2009, is still a number one Amazon best-selling book in the category of dating and relationships. Harvey who has appeared all over network television talks about his 90-day probationary period in the relationship and insists that women should wait before giving the man the “cookie.”?

All of the experts believe that if a man truly is courting a woman he wants to have a serious relationship with, that he will wait for the right woman to be ready.?If “60 is the new 40” and “50 is the new 30” then why shouldn’t the “3-month rule” be the new “3-date rule” for first time sex with someone you are dating. Men, are you willing to wait??I asked two attractive single men today at lunch if they were willing to wait and they both said, absolutely!?

Feel free to add your comments.

Julie Spira is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at

Julie Spira is America's Top Online Dating Expert. She's an award-winning dating coach who's been helping singles find love online for 25+ years. Follow @JulieSpira on IG.

1 thought on “Is 3-Months Really the New 3-Date Rule for Sex?”

  1. I think the 3 month rule is a great idea that more women should follow. The excitement of anticipating the BIG EVENT has sadly been lost in modern times with our need for instant gratification these days. Even Tupac once famously said in one of his songs “I don’t want it if its that easy” Men would respect women a lot more if they didn’t put out so soon and demanded to be treated as a lady.

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