Relationship Advice – To Snoop, or Not to Snoop

Recently, Ella wrote in for some relationship advice. ?She’s concerned that her boyfriend of two-months might have a roving cyber eye.

The two met on an online dating site and moved in together about a month ago. A few weeks ago, Ella took a peek at his laptop and under his web “history” she saw that he had revisited the online dating site which they met on. When she confronted him, her boyfriend said he had logged on to delete his profile, which could be true. He reassured her that she had nothing to worry about.

This week, she viewed his web browser’s history again from a few months ago. While cyber snooping, a pop up of a girl came on the screen with an option of rating her.

She’s perplexed as her boyfriend was the one who suggested taking down their profiles. She wants to know whether to confront him about the pop up ad, or leave it alone.

She asks, “Is there a problem? Or is the history and ads the issue? What should I do?

My answer to Ella is as follows:

Dear Ella,

Seek and you shall find. What are you doing cyber snooping on his computer anyway? ?If you trust him and the history is not recent, let it go and focus on the relationship. Even if he notices other women, he’s a guy. It’s normal. It doesn’t mean he wants to break up. It doesn’t mean he wants to have sex with other women.

He asked you for a commitment and offered to retire his online dating profile. If he thinks you’re going to question him and interrogate him on his past digital history, he might decide you aren’t the woman for him. Take a break from snooping and focus on your relationship. A man loves a confident and secure woman. Not one who raises suspicions on a regular basis and who he can’t trust leaving his computer in the same room with.

Enjoy your time together and focus on your romance.

Julie Spira

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