Part of the ongoing series, Dating in an AI World
This week, I attended the PS/Next Summit, where artificial intelligence was front and center in conversations about the future of technology and innovation.
At the end of the first day, a deck of cards called The AI Effect was waiting at our table. The first question stopped me cold:
“Checking in with your AI romantic partner throughout the day.”
We each held up a card with our response. The choices were simple:
- Erode Human Connection
- Support Human Connection
- It Depends
Every person at my table held up the Erode card.
I was the only one who chose It Depends.
That moment stayed with me.
Because in my work as a certified dating coach and online dating expert, I’ve learned that the most honest answer to almost every question about love and technology is rarely black-and-white.
How could everyone at my table be so convinced that AI was inherently harmful to relationships? Had we already reached the point where technology was replacing intimacy? Or was something more complicated happening beneath the surface?
So I came home and wrapped my arms around the data.
What I found was impossible to ignore.
The Numbers Don’t Lie
Recent research confirmed what I’d already been hearing in conversations with singles.
Americans are now spending more than twice as many hours on AI companion apps as they are on traditional dating apps. In the first quarter of 2025, that gap was already significant.
By 2026, it had become a chasm. Nearly 705 million hours were spent on AI companion apps compared to 280 million hours on dating and social discovery platforms, according to Sensor Tower’s 2026 State of AI Report.
I wasn’t surprised.
As someone who has spent decades helping singles navigate the ever-changing dating landscape, I’ve watched every major technological shift reshape how we connect. From video dating and chat rooms to online dating sites, mobile dating apps, and now AI, technology has continually changed how we meet.
But AI companions feel different.
For the first time, technology isn’t simply helping people find relationships.
It’s beginning to simulate one.
Why Singles Are Turning to AI Companions
Whether they’re called AI boyfriends, AI girlfriends, or AI companions, the appeal is the same.
They’re always available. They respond instantly. They remember previous conversations. They validate without judgment. They don’t ghost you, cancel plans, or disappear after a promising first conversation.
In a dating culture where many singles feel emotionally exhausted, that kind of consistency can feel comforting.
According to the 2026 Norton Artificial Intimacy Report, 77% of U.S. online daters say they would consider dating an AI chatbot. Even more striking, 59% believe it’s possible to fall in love with one.
I explored this trend in depth when AI companions first started gaining traction.
Sensor Tower reached a similar conclusion from a different angle. Dating apps are transactional.
Ideally, users leave after finding a compatible match. AI companions, however, are designed to keep the relationship going indefinitely.
But here’s what I believe those numbers are really telling us.
People aren’t turning to AI because they’re looking for a relationship with a robot.
They’re turning to AI because human connection has started to feel too risky, too slow, and too unpredictable.
Singles are tired of investing in conversations that suddenly end without explanation. They’re discouraged by ghosting, breadcrumbing (leading someone on with just enough contact to keep them interested), and mixed signals. Many feel overwhelmed by swipe culture and frustrated by the emotional energy required just to get to a first date.
AI offers something modern dating often doesn’t.
- Predictability.
- Consistency.
- Immediate validation.
AI doesn’t leave you on read.
It doesn’t ghost you.
It doesn’t require vulnerability.
And that’s exactly where the problem begins.
The Friction We’re Avoiding and Why We Need It
I understand why AI companionship feels appealing.
After heartbreak, rejection, or months of disappointing dates, turning to something that always responds with kindness can feel like a welcome relief.
But relief isn’t the same as growth.
One of the recurring themes I’ve seen throughout my career is that the most meaningful relationships aren’t built by escaping discomfort. They’re built by learning how to move through it.
Many daters today have nervous systems that are overstimulated by fast, frictionless technology and undernourished by real, vulnerable human connection.
When dating feels difficult, our instinct is often to retreat further into our phones, seeking immediate validation in place of genuine intimacy. Ironically, that short-term comfort can make a long-term connection even harder to build.
The truth is, fulfilling relationships require friction.
They require patience.
They require misunderstanding, repair, compromise, and growth.
AI can replicate connection, but it cannot create it.
The Numbers Behind the Headlines
Before we panic, it’s important to keep these numbers in perspective.
Despite the dramatic headlines, AI companions have not replaced human relationships.
According to Sensor Tower’s research, only 12% of young adults surveyed reported using an AI companion app in the previous 3 months. Of those, only about one-third said they were seeking genuine companionship from an AI.
For many, AI serves as a pressure valve rather than a permanent replacement for love.
Even so, the trajectory deserves our attention.
AI companion apps have experienced year-over-year growth of more than 100%. More than 130 AI companion apps introduced new AI capabilities during the first half of 2026 alone. Internet searches pairing the word “AI” with “girlfriend,” “boyfriend,” “companion,” and “conversation” continue to rise.
This curiosity is real, and curiosity often becomes habit.
At the same time, I’m observing another trend that rarely makes the headlines.
Professional matchmaking and personalized coaching continue to grow. Singles who are exhausted by the never-ending swiping and algorithm-driven dating are increasingly seeking something AI cannot provide: human insight, accountability, intuition, and emotional intelligence.
That’s one of the reasons I created The Digital Matchmaker Method.
My approach blends the efficiency of technology with the irreplaceable value of human connection. Technology should open the door to love, not become a substitute for it.
Efficiency Is Not Intimacy
One lesson has become clearer with every technological development I’ve witnessed over the past three decades.
AI can absolutely make dating more efficient, but efficiency is not intimacy.
- It can help you structure your thoughts.
- It can improve your dating profile.
- It can help you write a thoughtful first message.
- It can even help calm your nerves before a first date.
Those are valuable tools.
But none of them can create emotional reciprocity.
Intimacy requires two people who are willing to be seen and heard.
It requires vulnerability.
It requires the possibility of disappointment.
It requires the willingness to misunderstand one another, work through conflict, repair hurt feelings and continue growing together.
AI can simulate empathy.
It cannot experience empathy.
It can recognize emotional patterns.
It cannot genuinely feel joy, heartbreak, longing, forgiveness, or love.
Real relationships aren’t memorable because they’re perfect.
They’re memorable because they’re shared.
That’s a distinction no algorithm can duplicate.
Where I Draw the Line and Where You Should, Too
If you’ve read my Dating in an AI World series, you already know I’m not anti-AI.
Far from it.
I use AI every day in my business and personal life. It helps me brainstorm ideas using my voice, organize information, improve efficiency, and stay on top of emerging trends. Used wisely, it’s one of the most powerful tools we’ve ever had.
I encourage singles to use AI, too, but wisely.
- Let AI help you organize your thoughts before writing your dating profile.
- Let AI help you polish your bio.
- Let AI suggest conversation starters if you’re feeling stuck.
- Let AI help you prepare for a first date by removing nervous jitters.
But don’t let AI become your emotional surrogate.
Because you can’t outsource vulnerability or real-life chemistry.
And don’t mistake constant availability for genuine emotional presence.
An AI companion will almost always tell you what you want to hear.
A healthy relationship won’t.
The right partner will challenge you, surprise you, make you laugh, occasionally frustrate you, and ultimately help you grow in ways no algorithm ever can.
That’s the beautiful, messy reality of human connection.
Back to That Table
I keep thinking about that moment at the AI conference.
When every hand at my table went up for Erode Human Connection, mine was the only one holding the It Depends card.
Looking back, I still believe it was the right answer.
It depends on whether we use AI as a bridge to human connection or as a substitute for it.
It depends on whether AI helps us become more confident, more authentic, and more prepared to build real relationships, or whether it slowly convinces us that artificial intimacy is enough.
Technology has shaped dating for decades, and it will continue to do so.
But throughout every technological shift I’ve witnessed, one truth has remained constant.
People aren’t searching for better technology. They’re searching for love.
AI companions are here to stay. They will continue to evolve, become more sophisticated, and play an increasingly important role in our lives.
But no matter how advanced artificial intelligence becomes, it cannot replace what makes relationships meaningful.
Real love still needs courage.
It thrives on vulnerability.
It requires emotional reciprocity.
And above all, it requires another human heart.
Continue Reading the Dating in an AI World Series
If you enjoyed this article, I invite you to explore the rest of my Dating in an AI World series, where I examine how AI is reshaping romance while helping singles stay authentic, intentional, and safe in today’s digital age.
- AI Boyfriends and AI Girlfriends: Trend or Trap?
- Dating Safely in an AI World: When Connection Moves Faster Than Trust
- 10 Digital Matchmaker Rules for Dating in an AI World
- Dating in an AI World – What Technology Can and Can’t Do for Love
Julie Spira is the Digital Matchmaker® and America's Top Online Dating Expert. She's an award-winning certified dating coach who's been helping singles find their perfect match for over three decades. Follow @JulieSpira on IG and @digitalmatchmaker on TikTok.