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Dating Advice – 5 Ways to Heal When Your Ex Moves On

Celebrity relationships were all the buzz this week. As the guest dating expert on “Access Hollywood Live,” I joined Natalie Morales and Kit Hoover to talk about dating, love, Jay-Zee big confession about his marriage to Beyonce, and Ben Affleck’s public appearances with his new girlfriend, SNL producer Lindsay Shookus.

RELATED: Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus – Dating Expert Julie Spira Weighs In

With Affleck showing off his new relationship status, the question was asked, “what do you do when your ex moves on?”

Since just about everyone can relate to a heartbreak, we did a deep dive on how Hollywood celebs, or the girl next door should cope post-breakup when your ex finds a new girlfriend.

Here are the 5 tips I shared with Access Hollywood Live

1. Do a Digital Detox

Julie Spira - Access Hollywood

“The first tip is do what I call a digital detox. Even if you’ve said, ‘Okay, we’re going to stay friends when you break up,’ it’s really hard to just move into that friend zone. What happens is you start to become a stalker and you just can’t help yourself. So don’t do that. Block them and unfriend them on Facebook. You can always become friends again once the dust has settled and you both have moved on. Staring at other the other people at you and your sweetheart’s favorite restaurant that you used to go to for your anniversary is just something that is going to sting.”

2. Don’t Compare and Contrast

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“It’s so easy to fall into that trap of comparing yourself to the new girl. You may ask yourself, is she prettier? Does she have nicer clothes? Is she better in bed? Is she smarter? Is she sexier? You get into this trap, and it’s really bad because what happens is, your brain starts to trick you into thinking that comparing yourself to this person is natural. You need to your own individuality. You don’t really know that she’s good at anything other than being the next girl.”

3. Practice Self Love

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“Self-love really is number one. One of these tips that I use with the singles that I coach is if you’re going through a break-up, get dressed up, looked good, stand in front of your mirror and say, ‘You are the the prize,’ and repeat it, ‘You are the prize.’ Eventually, you will believe it. The more that you can love yourself and go out and do good things for yourself, like workout more, maybe lose that weight you want to, take up a yoga class, or take up a new hobby, the more you will become more dateable.”

4. Avoid the Rebound Relationship

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“We see more rebound relationships with men than with women. Women tend to hang out with their girlfriends and, of course, talk about their ex. Just because he might have moved on in a split second doesn’t mean that you need to do the same. I really feel that– having a replacement boyfriend immediately, can often backfire. It might not be a good fit for you, and then you’ve got to get over two break-ups.”

5. Get Out and Live Life!

Julie Spira - Access Hollywood

“I always say that take that covers off your head. Think about the books and magazines that might have been stacking up and start reading them. Maybe go under a palm tree and read a magazine, or if you actually once thought you might want to write a book, start penning that book and writing down your thoughts. Journal about your break-up because the more you read and write it, the more healing it is. Remember, there’s a reason that you broke up and that this person is now your ex. I always say, “Knock him off that pedestal right now.”

RELATED: Jay-Z and Beyonce – Dating Expert Julie Spira Weighs In

Julie Spira is a celebrity dating coach, relationship expert and online dating expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter

Jay-Z and Beyoncé – Dating Expert Julie Spira Weighs In

Access Hollywood Live - Julie Spira

Jay-Z and Beyoncé. The perfect Hollywood romance, or is it?  We love to watch love in Hollywood unfold, feel betrayed when there’s a bump in the road, and watch with enthusiastic eyes when there appears to be a Hollywood Happily-Ever-After story.

On Access Hollywood Live, this story aired and as a dating and relationship expert, I was asked to join hosts Natalie Morales and Kit Hoover to talk about their relationship.

Jay-Z dropped a bomb in his mini-documentary

Jay-Z made a big confession in a mini-documentary for his new album, 4:44, and said his relationship with Beyoncé wasn’t based on truth. In a video played on Access Hollywood Live, this is what Jay-Z said:

Jay-Z: “I just ran into this place and we built this big beautiful mansion of relationship. I mean, that wasn’t totally built on 100% truth, and then it start cracking, and then things start happening that the public can see. You know what I’m saying? And then we had to go to a point it’d be like, “Okay, tear this down and let’s start from the beginning.” By far, and I’m telling you, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

When asked what I thought about it and if a couple could get over infidelity, I explained, 

“Every relationship takes a lot of work, but when you’re in the public eye and you’re a celebrity, people look for the little cracks in relationship. They look to see if something is wrong. Now, we’ve got a confession – and a very public confession. It’s going to take a while to rebuild, and both parties seem to want to rebuild this relationship. Again, this confession is very public. It will sting, it will sting for a while.”

When asked if Jay-Z’s public admission would make her or women in general, forgive quicker, I replied with:

“Forgiveness is something that we all need to practice. It’s just a question of building trust. Really, we’re building that trust.”

Beyonce and Jay-Z
By the end of the week, Beyoncé posted a photo of her twins for the first time on Instagram. Yes, Hollywood couples go through big public bumps in the road and we hope for nothing but happiness for Jay-Z, Beyoncé, and their family.

Next up, we chatted about Ben Affleck’s new public romance with SNL producer Lindsay Shookus, after the couple appeared together regularly in New York and Los Angeles.

Julie Spira is a celebrity dating coach, relationship expert, and online dating expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter

Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus – Dating Expert Julie Spira Weighs In

Ben Affleck Romance - Julie Spira Weighs inHeartthrob Ben Affleck has moved on, so how should Jennifer Garner feel about it?

Access Hollywood Live has been following the story of Ben Affleck’s new romance with SNL producer Lyndsay Shookus, and I was asked to weigh in on their public appearance

ACL hosts Natalie Morales and Kit Hoover asked me if if was too soon for the couple to become official.  After all, Jen and Ben only filed for divorce three months earlier.

Will Ben Affleck’s New Relationship Last?

While I don’t have the crystal ball and everyone deserves to find love and happiness after a divorce or a split, it’s too soon to know whether it will last. The couple appears to be happy and in the honeymoon phase of their relationship.

The reality is, men do typically move on more quickly then women. Men often overlap and go from relationship-to-relationship, often grabbing onto a rebound relationship quickly, while women tend to mourn and take the time to grieve the ending of a romance that didn’t go the distance.

As told to Access Hollywood Live,

“That doesn’t mean the new relationship will last forever. It really doesn’t even mean your ex has upgraded. It just means they’ve found a replacement person, for now.”

So how does someone go on (like Jennifer Garner), when you see your ex in a new relationship? In Jennifer’s case, it’s very public, however these days, everyone’s relationship statuses are public because of social media. The world wide web is filled with social media celebrities who chat IRL with Hollywood celebs in a digital world.

Page Six reports that Garner isn’t too happy with the news of Affleck’s romance. The new couple have been seen all smiles in Los Angeles.

I told Access Hollywood Live,

“Even if your sweetheart is on vacation thousands of miles away, you’re going to see it online or on Facebook, and you’re going to think, ‘My gosh, it’s happening right in my living room.’ It really does sting when you see it so publicly.”

RELATED:  5 Ways to Cope When Your Ex Starts to Date

Julie Spira is a celebrity dating coach, relationship expert, and online dating expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter